Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 7 - Weekend Fantasy - full transcript

♪ SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN ♪

♪ DON'T WASTE ANOTHER
MINUTE ON YOUR CRYIN' ♪

♪ WE'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE END ♪

♪ THE BEST IS READY TO BEGIN ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ WE GOT THE WORLD
SPINNIN' RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ♪

♪ BABY, YOU AND ME ♪

♪ WE GOTTA BE ♪

♪ THE LUCKIEST DREAMERS
WHO NEVER QUIT DREAMIN' ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE KEEP ON GIVIN' ♪

♪ WE CAN TAKE ANYTHING
THAT COMES OUR WAY ♪



♪ BABY, RAIN OR SHINE ♪

♪ ALL THE TIME ♪

♪ WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ SHARIN' THE
LAUGHTER AND LOVE ♪

JASON, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO ABOUT DINNER.

I'VE GOT TO WORK LATE TONIGHT
OR I'LL NEVER FINISH THAT STORY.

OH, DON'T FORGET MIKE'S GOT
THAT DENTIST APPOINTMENT AT 3:00.

I CAN TAKE HIM. I
CANCELLED MY 3:00 PATIENT,

I MOVED MY
CLAUSTROPHOBIC BACK TO 6:00.

GREAT. CAN HE COOK?

WELL, MAYBE. AS LONG AS
HE'S NOT IN AN ELEVATOR.

OH, NEVER MIND. I'LL
PICK UP SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE
YOU AND I HAVE BEEN ALONE TOGETHER?

WE'RE ALONE NOW.



I'M TALKING ABOUT ALONE. I
MEAN, WITHOUT OUR CHILDREN,

WITHOUT OUR WORK,
WITHOUT OUR CLOTHES.

HEY, MOM, WHERE ARE MY WINGS?

HOUSTON, IT LOOKS
LIKE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO

BRING HER DOWN IN THE KITCHEN.

MOM. COME ON, MIKE!

I'VE GOT A DRESS
REHEARSAL IN 10 MINUTES!

OH, NO, ENEMY PLANE.

LOOKS LIKE A DEFINITE DOGFIGHT.

MIKE!

MOM!

OK, MIKE, WILL YOU STOP
SHOOTING YOUR SISTER

AND GIVE THE KID BACK HIS WINGS?

OK, OK, OK.

AND SEAVER STEALS
THE BALL AT MID-COURT.

HE FAKES LEFT, FAKES
RIGHT, GOES UP AND SCORES!

FOUL.

THAT'S IT. NOW THE LAST
ONE ON THAT SCHOOL BUS

HAS TO EAT YOUR FATHER'S
PANCAKES FOR A WEEK.

OH, GROSS!

BYE.

LATER, GUYS.

NICE.

OH, I'M SORRY, HONEY.

HOW CAN I MAKE
IT UP TO YOU, HUH?

WELL, SEE IF THIS
GIVES YOU ANY IDEAS.

"BRONX GORILLA TAKES BRIDE"?

NO, NO, READ THAT.

HMM.

"MOUNT SNOW GETAWAY
WEEKEND. $189.95."

OH, JASON, LOOK.

IT'S AT THE HARTLEY INN.

REMEMBER THE LAST
TIME WE WERE THERE?

YES. 15 YEARS AGO.

MMM-HMM. RIGHT AFTER
WE WERE MARRIED.

HMM.

AS I RECALL, WE NEVER
DID USE OUR LIFT TICKETS.

HMM, AND 9 MONTHS
LATER WE HAD MIKE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE
DONE A LITTLE SKIING.

BOY, WOULDN'T IT BE FUN
TO DO THAT SOMETIME?

WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS WEEKEND?

WHAT?

YEAH, COME ON, MAGGIE.
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO FOR IT?

REALLY?

REALLY.

BOY, IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN.

LET'S SEE, $189.95 TIMES 2.

DO YOU THINK THEY'D
CHARGE FULL PRICE FOR BEN?

NO, NO, NO. BECAUSE I'M TALKING
ABOUT A BEN-LESS WEEKEND.

A BEN-LESS, CAROL-LESS,
MIKE-LESS WEEKEND.

THAT'S A PRETTY
EXCLUSIVE GUEST LIST.

YEAH, WELL, CALL ME A SNOB.

OH, JASON, WHERE ARE
WE GOING TO FIND A SITTER

ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE?

WELL, I HAVE THE
PERFECT CANDIDATE. WHO?

SIT DOWN. NOT MIKE.

I BEG YOU TO SIT DOWN.

BUT, JASON, WE'VE
NEVER LEFT HIM IN CHARGE

FOR MORE THAN 6 HOURS.

YEAH, WELL, OUR HOMEOWNER'S
POLICY COVERED MOST OF THAT.

COME ON, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

HONEY, HE'S 15. HE DOESN'T
EVEN HAVE HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE.

HE DOESN'T HAVE TO DRIVE THE
HOUSE, HE ONLY HAS TO SIT IN IT.

I KNOW, BUT IT'S JUST
THAT IT'S SUCH A BIG STEP.

OH, I AGREE. IT'S A
VERY BIG STEP. FOR US.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, I MEAN, IT'S, UH,
TOUGH TO ADMIT SOMETIMES

THAT YOUR KIDS ARE GROWING UP.

JASON, THE BOY JUST

SLAM-DUNKED A GRAPEFRUIT
THROUGH HIS BROTHER'S HALO.

WELL, I THINK MIKE SHOULD BE
ABLE TO HANDLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

THE QUESTION IS,
CAN WE HANDLE IT?

YOU REALLY THINK THEY'D BE OK?

I REALLY THINK THEY'D BE OK.

OK, IF THEY CAN HANDLE
IT, I CAN HANDLE IT.

THEN YOU'LL GO? YOU BET.

AND YOU'LL KICK BACK AND RELAX.

JASON, YOU ARE LOOKING

AT THE FIRST LADY OF RELAXATION.

OK, ONE MORE TIME.

EMERGENCY PHONE NUMBERS.

IN THE KITCHEN, ON
THE REFRIGERATOR.

OK, POISON DRILL.

STRONG ALKALIS, ACIDS,
PETROLEUM PRODUCTS.

CALL THE PARAMEDICS
AND DRINK MILK.

EVERYTHING ELSE?

CHECK WITH THE
DOCTOR AND THROW UP.

IF IT ISN'T THE FIRST
LADY OF RELAXATION.

WE'RE JUST GOING OVER
A FEW THINGS, JASON.

LET'S NOT MAKE A
BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.

HEY, MIKE, HERE'S $100 DOLLARS.

I WAS GOING TO DO THIS
FOR NOTHING, BUT THANKS.

THAT'S FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY.

SO, LIKE, IF WE HAVE
EMERGENCY DATES?

JUST KIDDING, DAD.

I FIND THAT HUMOR KEEPS
THE LITTLE ONES AT EASE.

THANKS FOR THE TIP, MIKE.

NOW, WE WANT YOU GUYS
TO ALL TRY AND GET ALONG.

MIKE IS IN C-C-CHARGE.

AND I WANT TO REASSURE YOU

THAT IF ANYTHING
SHOULD GO AMISS,

JUSTICE WILL BE
SWIFT AND SEVERE.

DAD, DON'T YOU THINK THERE
SHOULD BE LIKE A SYSTEM

OF CHECKS AND BALANCES HERE?

I MEAN, I CAN ACCEPT THAT
MIKE HAS A CERTAIN AUTHORITY

JUST SO BEN AND I
HAVE... BASEBALL BATS.

I'LL GET THAT.

GOOD AFTERNOON. I'M FROM THE
FACTS ARE US ENCYCLOPEDIA COMPANY.

I'M SORRY, SIR. BUT MY PARENTS

REALLY DON'T HAVE
TIME AT THE MOMENT.

YOU SEE, THEY'RE ABOUT TO
GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND.

OH. OK, WELL, THANK YOU
ANYWAY. HAVE A NICE TRIP.

MIKE, YOU SHOULD NEVER
EVER TELL SOMEONE LIKE THAT

THAT YOUR PARENTS
AREN'T GOING TO BE HOME.

NOT OFF TO A GREAT START, MIKE.

OK, OK. I MEAN, THIS GUY DID NOT
LOOK LIKE THE PSYCHO KILLER TYPE.

OH, I SEE. WELL,
TELL ME, SMART GUY,

WHAT EXACTLY DOES THE
PSYCHO KILLER TYPE LOOK LIKE?

THAT'S VERY GOOD.

OH, OK, THAT'S IT, THAT'S
IT. THAT'S EVERYTHING.

LOOK, BY THE TIME WE GET TO
THE HOTEL IT MIGHT BE VERY LATE.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
GOING TO DO TONIGHT?

PROBABLY JUST HANG OUT.

OK, SO WE'LL CALL YOU
IN THE MORNING. RIGHT.

WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

YOUR FATHER AND I ARE
RELYING ON YOU, MIKE,

AND WE HAVE THE
UTMOST CONFIDENCE

IN YOUR ABILITY TO
TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE

AND MY BABIES.

SNOW TIME.

NOW, WE WOULDN'T BE DOING
THIS IF WE DIDN'T TRUST YOU, MIKE.

MMM-HMM.

MAGGIE, LET'S GO.

OK, OK.

WELL, BYE, EVERYBODY.

I THINK I CAN. I THINK I CAN.
I THINK I CAN. I THINK I CAN.

UH, THEY'VE ADDED
STAIRS, YOU KNOW.

OH, JASON, LOOK AT THIS.

AH, LOOKS GREAT. HMM.

IT'S THE SAME ROOM
WE HAD 15 YEARS AGO.

MMM-HMM.

SAME FURNITURE, SAME VIEW.

HEY, SAME BAR OF SOAP.

NOT EVERYTHING'S THE SAME.

NO, THEY'VE SANITIZED THE
TOILET FOR OUR PROTECTION.

I'M SURE THEY HELD OFF
AS LONG AS THEY COULD.

REMEMBER WHAT WE DID
HERE, THAT VERY FIRST NIGHT?

YOU WERE CRAZY.

MMM.

YOU STILL THAT CRAZY?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

COME ON, I DARE YOU.

DOUBLE DARE?

YOU'RE ON.

STILL CRAZY AFTER
ALL THESE YEARS.

LOOK OUT.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE
SHOULD CALL THE KIDS.

DID SOMEBODY SAY WE
SHOULD CALL THE KIDS?

I MEAN, THEY FEEL SO FAR AWAY.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, 300 MILES AWAY.

YEAH.

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW TINY
THEY'D LOOK FROM 300 MILES AWAY?

YEAH.

HOW LOST, HOW
HELPLESS, HOW ABANDONED.

MAGGIE, IT'S AFTER 10:00.

WE SAID WE'D CALL
THEM IN THE MORNING.

I KNOW, BUT...

AND BEN'S ASLEEP.

YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO
WAKE HIM UP NOW, DO YOU?

UH-HUH.

SWEETHEART, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
START UNPACKING OR SOMETHING?

OK. ALL RIGHT.

I'LL START BY PUTTING
AWAY YOUR SWEATER.

♪

COME ON, HONEY,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

JASON, THE PHONE'S RUNG 7 TIMES,

AND THERE'S NO ANSWER.

8, 9,

10.

JASON, THAT'S 27 RINGS.

MAYBE THEY'RE SOUND ASLEEP.

29 RINGS.

3 PEOPLE COULD NOT
SLEEP THROUGH 30 RINGS.

THAT'S ONLY 10 RINGS APIECE.

WAIT A MINUTE, HONEY, COME ON.

LET ME TRY. OK?

MAYBE YOU DIALED A WRONG NUMBER.

A WRONG NUMBER. YOU'RE RIGHT.

I COULD HAVE DONE THAT. UH-HUH.

I DON'T THINK I DID THAT,
BUT I COULD HAVE DONE THAT.

WELL?

NO ANSWER, YET.

HONEY, IT'S ONLY BEEN 4 RINGS.

PLUS MY 30. JASON,
SOMETHING'S WRONG.

WHAT COULD IT BE?

GRILLED HAMBURGERS, ALL RIGHT.

MIKE, DO YOU REALLY THINK MOM AND
DAD WOULD LET US HAVE A BARBECUE?

WHAT'S THE BIG WOW, CAROL?
WE'VE HAD A BARBECUE BEFORE.

NEVER IN THE LIVING ROOM.

SHE'S GOT A POINT THERE.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT, I'LL
DO IT IN THE KITCHEN.

HOW'S THIS THING WORK, ANYWAY?

OH, NEVER MIND, I GOT IT.

HEY, CAROL, HAND
ME ANOTHER GLASS.

THANKS.

COME ON, MIKE, I
WANTED MINE RARE!

QUICK, I NEED SOMETHING
TO COVER THE FIRE!

UNBELIEVABLE! NOW I HAVE
TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

IT'S TOO LATE! IT'S
OUT OF CONTROL!

GUESS THIS MEANS WE'RE
EATING OUT TONIGHT.

MAGGIE, I THINK YOUR IMAGINATION
HAS GOTTEN THE BETTER OF YOU.

MIKE WOULD NOT
BARBECUE OUR HOUSE.

THEN WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY
WON'T THEY ANSWER THE PHONE?

WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST THINK
ABOUT THIS CALMLY FOR A MINUTE, OK?

WE KNOW THEY WOULDN'T
DO ANYTHING CRAZY.

MAYBE THEY JUST DECIDED
TO DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.

SOMETHING THEY COULD ALL ENJOY.

"CHAPTER 1. MY FATHER'S
FAMILY NAME BEING PIRRIP,

"AND MY CHRISTIAN NAME, PHILIP,

"MY INFANT TONGUE
COULD MAKE OF BOTH NAMES

NOTHING LONGER OR
MORE EXPLICIT THAN PIP."

I'LL GET IT.

DARN, I WAS JUST
GETTING INTO IT!

REMEMBER WHAT MOM SAID,

"DON'T OPEN THE
DOOR TO STRANGERS."

OH, HE'S NO STRANGER.
HE'S SOMEBODY WE KNOW.

GOOD EVENING.

HI, HOW ARE YOU
DOING? COME ON IN.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU KIDDIES ALL ALONE?

NO PROBLEM, SIR. ANY DECISION
THAT NEEDS TO BE MADE,

I CAN HANDLE IT.

WELL, IN THAT CASE,

I HAVE SOMETHING VERY
SPECIAL I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU.

ALL RIGHT! HANDS UP!

OK, OVER BY THE COUCH!

UNBELIEVABLE!

IF YOU THINK THAT MACHINE GUN'S

GONNA MAKE US BUY ONE OF
YOUR STUPID ENCYCLOPEDIAS...

SHUT UP!

AND HOLD THIS.

ACTUALLY, THIS IS
A SUBMACHINE GUN.

CAN ANYONE HERE
TELL ME WHO FIRST

DEVELOPED THIS
WEAPON IN AMERICA?

THOMPSON.

THIS IS A THOMPSON
SUBMACHINE GUN.

SOMETHING YOU MIGHT KNOW IF YOU
OWNED A SET OF MY ENCYCLOPEDIAS.

NO, YOUR PARENTS
COULDN'T BE BOTHERED.

THEY WERE TOO
BUSY LAUGHING AT ME.

YOU WERE ALL LAUGHING AT ME.

THE WHOLE WORLD LAUGHS AT ME.

MAYBE YOU COULD
BECOME A COMEDIAN.

AND MAYBE YOU, LITTLE BOY,
COULD BECOME A PORK CHOP!

AREN'T YOU GOING
TO GET THE PHONE?

GOOD IDEA.

WELL, THANKS FOR SHARING
THAT WITH ME, JASON.

I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

I'M CALLING ELLEN COOZMAN.

OH, GOOD.

HELLO, ELLEN? YES,
THIS IS JASON SEAVER.

YEAH, WELL, UH, WE JUST CALLED
THE KIDS, AND THERE WAS NO ANSWER

SO WE JUST WONDERED MAYBE
IF YOU COULD RUN NEXT DOOR

AND, UH... UH, TAKE A
LOOK AT THEM AND...

WOULD YOU? OK. GOOD, THANK YOU.

SHE'S GOING TO CALL US
RIGHT BACK FROM THE HOUSE.

OH, JASON, I KNEW
THIS WAS A MISTAKE.

WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER
EVER LEFT THEM ALONE.

OH, HONEY, LET'S NOT PANIC, OK?

I STILL SAY THERE'S GONNA BE
SOME REASONABLE EXPLANATION

WHY THEY'RE NOT
ANSWERING THE PHONE.

YEAH? LIKE?

WELL, LIKE, UH,

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL FOR
KIDS TO BECOME PHONE-SHY.

ELLEN? YES.

WHAT? THEY'RE NOT THERE.

GOD, WHERE ON
EARTH COULD THEY BE?

I DON'T KNOW.

♪

YO, MICHAEL, LOOKING GOOD!

HEY, UH, YOU KIDS GOT I.D.s?

YEAH, HERE YOU GO, MY MAN.

CAROL SEAVER, BORN 1953.

LOOKS GOOD TO ME.

BEN SEAVER, ARMY
DISCHARGE. NAM, HUH?

YEP. HEY, HOW WAS IT?

IT WAS HELL.

WOW, MIKE. THIS
PLACE IS AWESOME!

YEAH, HOW COME YOU
DIDN'T BRING US HERE BEFORE?

UH, WELL, YOU KNOW HOW
OLD-FASHIONED MOM AND DAD ARE.

IT WON'T MATTER AFTER TONIGHT

BECAUSE I'M DUMPING SCHOOL
AND STARTING WORK HERE.

RIGHT, SLASH? ALL RIGHT, SEAVER.

I CAN ALWAYS USE
ANOTHER BOUNCER.

WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO?
LOOKING FOR WORK?

YEAH, I WANT TO BE A BARTENDER!

I COULD BE A WAITRESS.

YOU GOT IT, TOOTS.

HEY, MIKE,

PARTS OF ME HAVE BEEN
MISSING PARTS OF YOU.

HEY, WHY NOT TAKE ALL OF ME?

HEY, ALL RIGHT.

HEY, BUDDY, DO ME A FAVOR.

KEEP THIS FOR ME.

SURE.

3 SHOOTERS AND A BULL MAKER.

COMING UP.

HEY, BABE, WHERE YOU
BEEN ALL MY LIFE, HUH?

IN SCHOOL. NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE!

COME HERE, GIVE ME A KISS. JUST A
LITTLE KISS. COME HERE. COME HERE.

HEY!

HEY, WATCH IT, DUDE!

YOU GOT SOMETHING
TO SAY, TOUGH GUY?

GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY.

WELL, I'M CALLING THE
HUNTINGTON POLICE.

516-555-9622.

I'M A MOTHER, I'M A REPORTER.
I KNOW THESE THINGS.

HELLO, HAVE I
REACHED THE POLICE?

YES, THIS IS JASON SEAVER.

YES, MIKE'S DAD.

WELL, UH, I WANT TO
REPORT 3 MISSING CHILDREN,

AND, UH, IT'S BEEN
AT LEAST 5 MINUTES.

WELL, NO, IT COULD BE
7, IT MIGHT BE 7 MINUTES.

UH, MY WIFE AND
I ARE IN VERMONT,

AND, UH, WE LEFT THE KIDS ALONE.

YES, WITH MIKE.

WELL, UH, WELL, WE
PHONED THE NEIGHBORS,

AND THEY WENT TO CHECK THE
HOUSE, THE KIDS AREN'T THERE.

15, ROBIN LANE.

THANK YOU. YES. OK.

JASON, YOU DIDN'T LEAVE
THEM OUR PHONE NUMBER HERE.

NO, THAT'S BECAUSE
WE'RE GOING HOME.

BUT... BUT, HONEY,
IT'S A 5-HOUR DRIVE.

WELL, WE CAN FLY DOWN
AND WE'LL TAKE A CAB, OK?

THAT'S WHERE WE BELONG. OK. OK.

DID YOU GET, YOU GOT
THE GOGGLES, DIDN'T YOU?

PLEASE, YES,
THANKS. OK. ALL RIGHT.

I HAVE IT, THE DAMN
KEY'S BENT NOW.

YOU SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ONE?

WELL, WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?

THE HOTEL KEY.

MIKE, WHAT'S
GOING ON? I'M TIRED.

SHH. LOOK, THERE'S
SOMEBODY IN THE HOUSE.

I WANT YOU GUYS TO GO
DOWN THE GARAGE ROOF,

CLIMB OUT ON THE OAK TREE,

AND CALL THE POLICE
FROM THE COOZMAN'S. GO ON.

OH, NO, JASON. THEY'RE REALLY
NOT HERE. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

WE'LL CHECK BACK
WITH THE POLICE.

OK, COME ON.

YES, YES, PLEASE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELL, THE POLICE
WERE HERE AT 11:00,

AND ALL THE KIDS WERE HERE THEN.

BUT, JASON, THEY'RE GONE NOW.

WELL, I KNOW. THEY'RE GONNA SEND
ANOTHER PATROL CAR OVER RIGHT AWAY.

FREEZE!

THAT WAS QUICK.

HANDS UP. OVER BY THE RAIL.

NO, YOU SEE... MOVE IT!

ALL RIGHT.

BUT WE'RE THE SEAVERS.
WE... WE LIVE HERE.

THE SEAVERS ARE
IN VERMONT, LADY.

NO, WE FLEW BACK.

WE'RE THEM. WE'RE HOME.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S
SEE SOME I.D., PAL.

IT'S NOT A GOOD PICTURE.

ALL RIGHT, MO, WHY
DON'T YOU GO OUTSIDE

AND GET THOSE KIDS
AND BRING THEM IN HERE?

WHERE ARE THEY? ARE THEY SAFE?

THE KIDS. YOU'VE FOUND THE KIDS.

WELL, THEY WERE FINE UNTIL THEY
HEARD SOME PROWLERS DOWNSTAIRS

AND CALLED THE COPS.

THEY CAN'T BE MY PARENTS.
MY PARENTS ARE IN VERMONT.

OH, I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

MY BABIES.

NOT SO FAST.

MIKE, ARE THESE YOUR PARENTS?

EITHER THAT, OR SOMEBODY'S
VERY CLEVER WITH MAKE-UP.

WHERE WERE YOU? WE
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

HEY, THANKS FOR
KEEPING THINGS FUN, HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

I MEAN, WASN'T IT ENOUGH TO SEND
THE COPS BY ONCE THIS EVENING?

BUT, MIKE, WE CALLED
AND YOU WEREN'T HERE.

YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T
GOING TO CALL TILL TOMORROW.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT, MIKE.
WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?

MRS. MOISIODIS
MADE A BUNDT CAKE.

SHE INVITED US OVER FOR DESSERT.

AND THEN SHE PULLED
OUT THE VACATION SLIDES.

THEY WENT EVERYWHERE.

BUT WE CALLED AT 10:00, MIKE.

WHERE WERE YOU THEN?

NORWAY.

SOMETHING TO BEAR IN MIND, MOM.

IF YOU'VE SEEN ONE FJORD,
YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL.

IS THAT ALL TRUE, CAROL?

WELL,

ACTUALLY IT WAS MORE A
STRUDEL THAN A BUNDT CAKE.

AND THE REST OF
IT IS ABOUT RIGHT.

WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK
WE WERE DOING HERE, ANYWAY?

REMEMBER HOW WE ALWAYS SWORE
WE'D NEVER DO CERTAIN THINGS TO OUR KIDS

THAT OUR PARENTS DID TO US?

UH-HUH.

DID WE JUST DO ONE OF
THOSE THINGS TO OUR KIDS?

MMM-HMM.

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK WE
HANDLED IT PRETTY WELL

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN A LOT WORSE.

HOW?

IT COULD HAVE BEEN US

WATCHING MRS.
MOISIODIS' VACATION SLIDES.

JASON.

WELL, I GUESS WE
TURNED OUT TO BE

PRETTY NORMAL PARENTS AFTER ALL.

OH, NO, MAGGIE. ARE WE NORMAL?

MMM.

PRETTY SCARY, ISN'T IT?

IT IS.

SAY, UH, DO YOU THINK
2 NORMAL PARENTS

WOULD GO OUT AT
3:00 IN THE MORNING

FOR A DOUBLE-DIPPED BANANA
FUDGE SUNDAE SURPRISE?

I DOUBT IT.

YOU WANT TO BE ABNORMAL?

LOVE TO.

OK, YOU GO TELL
MIKE WE'RE GOING OUT

AND I'LL WARM UP THE VOLVO.

OH, OH, JASON, JASON,
THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM.

WHAT?

THE VOLVO'S IN VERMONT.