Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 12 - A Christmas Story - full transcript

While the Seaver family prepares for Christmas, one of Jason's (ALAN THICKE) patients contemplates suicide by jumping down the Seaver chimney.

♪ SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN ♪

♪ DON'T WASTE ANOTHER
MINUTE ON YOUR CRYIN' ♪

♪ WE'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE END ♪

♪ THE BEST IS READY TO BEGIN ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ WE GOT THE WORLD
SPINNIN' RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ♪

♪ BABY YOU AND ME ♪

♪ WE GOT TO BE ♪

♪ THE LUCKIEST DREAMERS
WHO NEVER QUIT DREAMIN' ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE KEEP ON GIVIN' ♪

♪ WE CAN TAKE ANYTHING
THAT COMES OUR WAY ♪



♪ BABY RAIN OR SHINE ♪

♪ ALL THE TIME ♪

♪ WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ SHARIN' THE
LAUGHTER AND LOVE ♪

WHERE ARE MY WISE MEN?

[train whistle blowing]

TAKING THE "A" TRAIN.

MIKE, WHAT ARE THE WISE
MEN DOING ON THE TRAIN TRACK?

HEY, THEY'RE WISE MEN.

THEY MUST KNOW
WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

MIKE, COME ON.

[laughs]

IT'S A MIRACLE.

MIKE.



♪ WE THREE KINGS WE
KNOW WHAT WE LIKE ♪

♪ SPENDING CHRISTMAS
WITH OUR FRIEND MIKE ♪

BEN, STOP THAT.

YOU'LL GET TO OPEN ONE
PRESENT AFTER DINNER.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID
EVERYONE'S CHRISTMAS-EVE PRESENT

WOULD HAVE A BIG, RED BOW ON IT.

IT WILL.

WELL, EVERYONE HAS ONE WITH
A BIG, RED BOW ON IT EXCEPT ME.

WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD
TELL HIM THE TRUTH, GUYS.

WHAT TRUTH?

WELL, BEN, YOU'RE ADOPTED,

AND SANTA DOESN'T
KNOW YOUR NEW ADDRESS.

MOM!

MIKE.

THE ONLY ONE OF US KIDS
WHO'S ADOPTED IS MIKE.

I'M NOT ADOPTED.

NOT YET.

MY PRESENT'S
DEFINITELY NOT HERE.

WELL, BEN, MAYBE SANTA
JUST HASN'T BROUGHT IT YET.

OH, COME ON. THERE'S
NO SUCH THING AS SANTA.

HEY, BEN, YOU KNOW
THAT FOR A FACT?

OK. OK, I TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL GO GET MYSELF SOME
CHRISTMAS COOKIES, AND WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE SANTA WILL DECIDE

THIS IS THE PERFECT
OPPORTUNITY TO BRING MY PRESENT.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

SO, WHEN ARE YOU
GUYS GONNA PICK IT UP?

AROUND 4:00.

[squeals] HE'S GONNA
BE SO EXCITED.

SO, JASON, HOW EXCITED AM I
GONNA BE ABOUT MY PRESENT?

WELL, THAT DEPENDS. HAVE YOU
BEEN NAUGHTY, OR HAVE YOU BEEN NICE?

I'VE BEEN NICE AND NAUGHTY.

SANTA LIKES IT WHEN
YOU TALK LIKE THAT.

HEY, EVERYBODY! IT'S SNOWING.

(Carol) OH, ALL RIGHT!

ALL RIGHT, ON CHRISTMAS!

(Mike) OH, YEAH! LOOK AT THAT.

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. WHOA!

YOU KNOW, CHRISTMAS
IS SORT OF NEAT,

I MEAN, JUST THE
FIVE OF US HANGIN' OUT

IN A NICE, WARM HOUSE, KIND
OF GETTING INTO THE SPIRIT.

(all) MIKE?

HEY, YOU THINK I LIKE BEING
OBNOXIOUS ALL THE TIME?

MMM-HMM. UH-HUH.

YEAH, I GUESS I DO.

[doorbell rings]

I'LL GET IT.

WHAT DID WE DO TO BE
BLESSED WITH SUCH A CHILD?

DAD, IT'S ONE OF YOUR PATIENTS.

MR. BODEWELL! I THINK
THE SUIT LOOKS GREAT.

I GOTTA TALK TO YOU, DOC.

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING
SANTA DOWN AT THE ORPHANAGE?

I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THAT.

WHY NOT?

WATCH THIS.

HO, HO.

LET'S TALK.

WALTER, WHEN I
SAW YOU LAST WEEK,

YOU WERE SO EXCITED
ABOUT PLAYING SANTA

FOR THOSE KIDS AT THE
ORPHANAGE. WHAT HAPPENED?

DOC, THE KIDS ARE GONNA HATE ME.

NOW, WHY SHOULD THEY HATE YOU?

SAME REASON EVERYBODY HATES ME.

I MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE.

LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE FIDGETING.

I'M NOT FIDGETING.

OK, NOW, WALTER, WHAT'S
THE ONE THING IN YOUR LIFE

THAT BOTHERS YOU THE MOST?

THOSE LITTLE SUBSCRIPTION
CARDS THAT FALL OUT OF MAGAZINES.

WALTER.

BEING ALONE.

YES.

AND DON'T YOU THINK THOSE KIDS
AT THE ORPHANAGE ARE LONELY, TOO?

YEAH, BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO TALK TO KIDS, DOC.

WELL, RELAX. JUST BE YOURSELF.

YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

WELL, I'VE BEEN KICKING
AROUND A FEW THINGS.

OH, GOOD. IMAGINE YOU'VE
JUST COME INTO THE ORPHANAGE

AND YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY
ALL THOSE HAPPY LITTLE FACES,

AND WHAT DO YOU SAY?

[clears throat]

"TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,

"IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION
THAT TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS.

CONSEQUENTLY, I BRING
ITEMS IN CONJUNCTION WITH..."

WALTER, I WONDER IF,
UH, AS AN ACCOUNTANT,

YOU MIGHT HAVE A
TENDENCY TO BE...

I KNOW, I KNOW. TOO FORMAL.

WALTER, I DON'T KNOW THAT THAT
MUCH TALK IS EXPECTED OF SANTA.

I MIGHT JUST GO WITH
SOMETHING MORE TRADITIONAL.

YOU KNOW, LIKE, "HO! HO! HO!
BOY, DO I HAVE GIFTS FOR YOU!"

YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY
WORKED WITH CHILDREN.

COME ON, WALTER. YOU'LL BE FINE.

OH, DOC, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF I BROUGHT THE RIGHT GIFTS.

YOU CAN'T GO WRONG
WITH KIDS. THEY LOVE GIFTS.

SEE WHAT YOU GOT HERE.

GROUND BEEF?

GO AHEAD. SAY IT.

I SHOULD'VE BOUGHT PORK.

WELL, THAT'S A
CLOSE CALL, WALTER.

COME ON. WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?

TUPPERWARE.

SURE, I THOUGHT IT
GOES WITH THE BEEF.

YOU KNOW, THEY'LL USE IT TO MIX
UP SOME SWEDISH MEATBALLS OR...

THE GIFTS ARE WRONG.

[sighs]

DOC, I WANNA GIVE THESE KIDS
SOMETHING THAT'S GONNA MAKE THEM HAPPY,

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BRING.

WALTER, I'M GONNA THROW OUT
SOMETHING KIND OF CRAZY NOW.

[sighs]

TOYS.

TOYS?

TOYS.

DOC, THAT IS SO CRAZY,

THAT JUST MIGHT WORK.

[chuckles]

HERE.

HO! HO! HO! HO! HO! HO!

YOU GUYS CAN'T FOOL ME.

YOU'RE GOING TO GET MY PRESENT.

NONSENSE, BEN, WE'RE
GOING TO THE, UM...

UH, BLACKSMITH. CAROL
NEEDS NEW SHOES.

ACTUALLY, WE'RE GOING TO
RETURN ALL OF MIKE'S GIFTS.

YOU TAKE HIS
PORSCHE. (Mike) WHAT?

OH, YOU GUYS.

OH, COME ON. JUST TELL
ME WHAT MY PRESENT IS.

THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND SANTA.

I'M GETTING PRETTY SICK OF
THIS PARTICULAR FOLK HERO.

I WOULDN'T SAY THAT TOO LOUDLY.

BYE, GUYS.

ALL RIGHT, BYE-BYE. (both) BYE.

HAVE FUN. SEE YOU LATER.

MIKE, CAROL.

CAROL, MIKE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT
CHRISTMAS MEANS TO ME?

IT MEANS CARING, SHARING.

(both) WE'RE NOT
TELLING YOU, BEN.

BUT I LIKE YOUR STYLE.

WHO DO YOU HAVE TO TALK TO TO
GET SOME HARD FACTS AROUND HERE?

[doorbell rings]

WELL, I'D LOOK FOR A
FAT MAN IN A RED SUIT.

MR. BODEWELL.

IS YOUR FATHER HERE?

UH, NO, HE STEPPED
OUT FOR A MINUTE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO
COME IN AND WAIT?

NO, I CAN'T WAIT.

OK, I'LL TELL HIM YOU WERE HERE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

HE SURE LOOKED UNHAPPY.

MIKE, CAROL. CAROL, MIKE.

$1 FOR THE HIDING PLACE.

BEN, THAT'S HARDLY
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

$10?

♪ JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS ♪

I WASN'T GOING TO TELL
HIM, NOT FOR LESS THAN $20.

[footsteps clomping]

WHO IS UP THERE?

(Walter) WHO DO YOU THINK?

WHOA!

SANTA?

SANTA CLAUS! WOW,
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!

GET OUT OF THERE, KID.

LOOK, I'M COMING DOWN. I
DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE THIS.

WELL, IF IT'S ANY
EASIER FOR YOU,

YOU CAN THROW MY PRESENT DOWN.

(Walter) PRESENT? OH, OK,

I'LL GIVE YOU A PRESENT.

RAW MEAT?

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

[stuttering] WELL, IT
WASN'T MY FIRST CHOICE.

CHRISTMAS EVE, A REAL "STUFF
YOUR FACE" KIND OF HOLIDAY.

COME ON, BEN. LET'S
HAVE SOME EGGNOG.

MIKE! CAROL! SANTA'S ON THE
ROOF, AND LOOK WHAT HE GAVE ME.

RAW MEAT?

BEN, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

COME ON.

SANTA, MY BROTHER
AND SISTER ARE HERE.

YOU GOT ANYTHING FOR THEM?

TUPPERWARE?

(Walter) OH, IT'S FOR
THE YOUNG LADY.

WOULD YOU PLEASE
GET OUT OF THERE?

MR. BODEWELL?

YOU GOT IT.

MR. BODEWELL, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?

I'M GONNA DIVE DOWN
YOUR CHIMNEY, HEAD FIRST.

OH, MY GOD. HE'S GONNA
COMMIT SUICIDE IN OUR FIREPLACE.

OK, I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS.

(Walter) NO, NO COPS.

OK, I DIDN'T SAY "COPS."

I SAID, UH, "MOPS."

YEAH, WELL, UH, NO MOPS, EITHER.

RIGHT, NO MOPS.

RIGHT, OR CLEANING
SUPPLIES OF ANY KIND.

UH, MR. BODEWELL, JUST
STAY WHERE YOU ARE.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. I THINK YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIM TALKING.

EVEN AFTER HE JUMPS?

UH, MR. BODEWELL,

WHY DON'T YOU COME DOWN
AND HAVE SOME EGGNOG?

I'M ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF,
YOU OFFER ME EGGNOG?

WELL, IT SAYS HERE,
"FESTIVE FOR ALL OCCASIONS."

OH, MIKE.

OK. BEN, YOUR TURN.

UH, MR. BODEWELL,

EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT
SANTA, THANK YOU FOR THE MEAT.

I KNOW I'LL USE IT
FOR YEARS TO COME.

(Walter) COME ON, KID.
ADMIT IT. YOU HATE THE MEAT.

NO, REALLY, IT'S A
CHILD'S DREAM COME TRUE.

NICE TRY, KID, BUT
I KNOW THE TRUTH.

YOU HATE ME.

EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY HATES ME!

THAT'S WHY I... I... I
CAN'T GO ON LIVING.

BUT YOU HAVE TO GO ON LIVING.

(Walter) WHY?

WAIT A SECOND. I'LL TELL YOU.

[whispering] HEY, WHAT'S THAT?

[whispering] ONE OF
DAD'S TEXTBOOKS.

MR. BODEWELL, I KNOW
THAT "A SUICIDAL PERSON"

SUCH AS YOURSELF

"CAN ONLY SEE THINGS
THROUGH A DARK TUNNEL,

"BUT WITH PROPER COUNSELING
AND LONG-TERM THERAPY,

"THE PATIENT CAN BUILD
HIS INNER CONFIDENCE,

AS OUTLINED IN FERBER'S
LANDMARK STUDY LIFE WITHOUT HOPE."

MR. BODEWELL?

MR. BODEWELL, ARE YOU THERE?

YEAH, SURE. I DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE FINISHED READING.

MR. BODEWELL, PLEASE DON'T JUMP.

(both) ♪ HERE COMES
SANTA CLAUS ♪

♪ HERE COMES SANTA
CLAUS RIGHT DOWN ♪

RIGHT DOWN OUR CHIMNEY!

WHAT?

MR. BODEWELL'S ON THE ROOF, AND
HE'S ABOUT TO JUMP DOWN THE CHIMNEY!

OH, MY GOD!

MR. BODEWELL?

WALTER. DON'T COME NEAR ME, DOC.

I SWEAR I'LL DIVE.

OK, DON'T WORRY.
I'LL STAY RIGHT HERE.

I JUST WANNA TALK TO YOU.

WELL, I DON'T WANNA
TALK. I WANNA DIE!

WALTER, YOUR PROBLEMS
ARE TEMPORARY.

DEATH IS PERMANENT.

YOU JUMP, AND
THERE'S NO SECOND...

WALTER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WANT TO MAKE
SURE I'M GONNA FIT.

I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M
GONNA GET STUCK IN THERE.

WHAT HAPPENED THIS AFTERNOON?

THE KIDS AT THE
ORPHANAGE HATED ME.

WELL, I FIND THAT HARD
TO BELIEVE, WALTER.

I MEAN, YOU PLAYED SANTA
TO A BUNCH OF 8-YEAR-OLDS.

COULD IT BE THAT YOU
MISINTERPRETED THEIR RESPONSE?

[scoffs] YOU TELL ME.

"THIS SANTA EATS FRUITCAKE."

THAT'S RIGHT. A MAN ON THE ROOF,

THREATENING TO JUMP
DOWN THE CHIMNEY.

WELL, HE'S A RATHER
LARGE MAN IN A RED SUIT,

WITH A WHITE BEARD.

NO, HE DOESN'T
HAVE ANY REINDEER.

WALTER, I UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.

THINGS LOOK BLEAK FOR YOU
RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

NOT WITH THIS JACKET
ON. I'M NEVER GONNA FIT.

WALTER, YOUR LIFE
IS TOO VALUABLE.

DON'T COME NEAR ME.

LET'S FACE IT, DOC.
MY LIFE IS A BIG ZERO.

I WAKE UP EVERY DAY,
AND I'M WONDERING WHY.

DIVIDE THE
CIRCUMFERENCE BY PI...

WHY? WHY ME?

WHY WAS I CHOSEN TO
BE WALTER BODEWELL,

THE MAN WHOSE DESTINY WAS TO...

DAMN, MY BATTERIES ARE DEAD.

DOC, WOULD YOU PLEASE
TELL ME ONE THING?

WHAT, WALTER?

WHAT'S 39 DIVIDED BY 3.1416?

WALTER, I'M NOT GONNA
HELP YOU WITH THIS.

OH, WELL, FINE.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

WALTER.

[gasping] WALTER!

WALTER, YOU WANNA BE HAPPY.

[scoffs]

YOU DON'T WANNA
GIVE UP LIKE THIS.

WHY SHOULDN'T I? HUH, DOC?

YOU TELL ME. WHY
SHOULDN'T I GIVE UP?

I MEAN, IF I CAN'T MAKE
IT AS SANTA CLAUS

WITH A BUNCH OF
8-YEAR-OLD ORPHANS,

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
MAKE IT AS WALTER BODEWELL?

WELL, YOU WORK AT IT, WALTER.
YOU CHIP AWAY AT EACH PROBLEM.

YOU SPEAK FROM THE HEART,

OCCASIONALLY WITHOUT
A PREPARED STATEMENT.

AND THEN, WHEN YOU LISTEN BACK,

YOU KNOW, YOU START TO
SOUND JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

YOU'RE HUMAN, WALTER.

THAT MEANS OCCASIONALLY
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SOME PAIN

AND SOMETIMES YOU'RE
GONNA FEEL LONELY,

BUT IF YOU JUST
KEEP REACHING OUT

THERE'S GONNA BE SOMEBODY
THERE TO LEND YOU A HAND.

THANKS, DOC. GOODBYE.

WALTER!

OH, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT!

WHAT'S IT? I SEE IT NOW.

YEAH, THIS IS A
GOOD IDEA, WALTER.

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF, TOO.

THAT'S IT. YOU JUST...
YOU JUST HAVE A PROBLEM

AND YOU JUMP DOWN
THE CHIMNEY, WALTER.

NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

WHY NOT, WALTER?
IT'S MY CHIMNEY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WALTER, YOU THINK YOU'RE
THE ONLY ONE WITH PROBLEMS?

WELL, I GOT A
PROBLEM, TOO, WALTER,

'CAUSE I GOT A BIG
GUY ON MY ROOF

I'VE BEEN COUNSELING
FOR 4 YEARS,

AND HE'S THREATENING
TO KILL HIMSELF

BECAUSE I CAN'T
TALK HIM OUT OF IT.

I CAN'T LIVE WITH THAT ON
MY CONSCIENCE, WALTER.

NO. NO!

EXCUSE ME. YOU
MIND IF I GO FIRST?

DOC, I'M NOT GONNA
LET YOU DO THIS.

YOU HAVE A WIFE.
Y-YOU HAVE CHILDREN.

AH, THEIR CHRISTMAS IS
PRETTY MUCH SHOT AS IT IS.

YOU ARE CRAZY!

DON'T TRY TO STOP ME, WALTER.

NO, DOC, I CAN'T
LET YOU DO THIS!

[whining]

DOC, QUIT WHINING.
IT'S REALLY PATHETIC.

IT'S NOT ME.

WELL, WHAT IS IT?

[whining]

OH.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

SO YOU BOUGHT A PUPPY
FOR YOUR KID FOR CHRISTMAS?

MMM-HMM.

HE'S BEEN ASKING FOR
ONE FOR YEARS, SO...

I GUESS HE FOUND
IT A LITTLE EARLY.

YEAH.

[puppy whining]

WHAT KIND OF PUPPY IS IT?

(Ben) BROWN.

[mumbling]

OH, WHAT IS HE DOING?

LICKING MY FACE.

BEN, WHAT ARE YOU...

(Walter) I USED TO HAVE A DOG.

I HAD A GERMAN SHEPHERD.

WAS HE A NICE DOG?

YEAH.

HE WAS THE ONLY GUY WHO DIDN'T GET
UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN HE WAS AROUND ME.

I REMEMBER WE USED TO HAVE THIS
GREAT GAME WE PLAYED TOGETHER.

IT WAS CALLED "BALL."

YOU MEAN, YOU'D THROW THE
BALL, AND HE'D GO FETCH IT?

THAT WOULD'VE WORKED, TOO.

WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?

HE DIED.

17 YEARS AGO.

HE WAS THE LAST
PERSON I EVER LIVED WITH.

WERE YOU SAD?

YEAH.

DID YOU CRY?

YES.

ARE YOU STILL
GONNA KILL YOURSELF?

BEN, SHH.

I DON'T KNOW.

W-W-WELL, IF YOU
DON'T KILL YOURSELF,

YOU CAN HAVE MY PUPPY.

HELLO? MR. BODEWELL?

MOM, WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?

I DON'T KNOW, HONEY.

MR. BODEWELL?

DAD?

JASON? JASON?

[door opens]

YES?

(both) DAD!

MR. BODEWELL!

JASON, ARE YOU OK?

YEAH, I THINK WE'RE OK.

THIS IS MY PUPPY.

HE'S A NICE ONE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

HO! HO! HO!

OH, AND NOW IT'S TIME

FOR THE OPENING OF THE SEAVER
FAMILY CHRISTMAS-EVE PRESENTS.

[all cheering]

OH, NOW, REMEMBER, I... I DIDN'T
BUY ANY OF THESE PRESENTS,

SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR
PRESENT, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

WALTER.

OH, I'M SORRY. OH,
HERE. HO, HO, HO!

(all) YEAH. BETTER. BETTER.

OK, THIS ONE'S FOR CAROL.

THIS ONE'S FOR MIKE.

OH!

"DEAR MIKE, THIS HAS BEEN
HANDED DOWN IN OUR FAMILY

FOR 3 GENERATIONS TO EACH
MAN AS HE COMES OF AGE."

[all exclaiming]

A RAZOR.

UH, I THINK WE BETTER SWITCH.

WHAT, AND BREAK
FAMILY TRADITION?

NOW ONE FOR MOM

AND...

OH, THANK YOU.

ONE FOR DAD.

OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

[laughs]

ALL RIGHT.

"MOST IMPROVED
COOK OF THE YEAR." YES.

[all laughing]

THAT MEAN YOU ALL WANT ME
TO MAKE CHRISTMAS DINNER?

(both) UH, NO, THANKS.
IT'S OK, SWEETHEART.

WELL, THANKS
ANYWAY. WE LOVE YOU.

IS THIS THE EXCITING
AND ROMANTIC GIFT

I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY FOR?

THAT'S THE ONE.

TA-DA!

AH.

OH, HERE, LET ME SHOW
YOU HOW IT WORKS.

OH!

LET'S SEE HERE.

OH, JASON, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU, HONEY. YEAH.

THANK YOU. THEY
LOOK REAL, DON'T THEY?

[laughing] WHAT DO YOU
MEAN, AREN'T THEY REAL?

BEN, I'M SO SORRY.

THERE'S NO GIFT FOR YOU.

DO YOU WANT NICK BACK?

NO, WALTER, HE'S YOURS.

WALTER, WHY DON'T
YOU CHECK THE BAG?

MAYBE SANTA LEFT
SOMETHING FOR BEN. YEAH.

NO, IT'S EMPTY.

WELL, WHY DON'T
YOU CHECK IT ANYWAY?

THERE MIGHT BE
SOMETHING THERE. YEAH.

NO, REALLY, IT'S EMPTY. SEE, WE PUT
THE GROUND BEEF IN THE FREEZER...

WALTER, CHECK THE BAG.

OH, OK. HERE.

YES, I'LL TAKE HIM. OK.

THERE YOU GO. OH, WOW!

THERE IS A PRESENT FOR BEN.

THERE IS?

YEAH.

WOW, A PUPPY FOR ME. YEAH.

HE LOOKS JUST LIKE NICK.

WELL, THANK YOU, ALL
OF YOU, FOR EVERYTHING.

NICK IS BEAUTIFUL.

SO IS MY PUPPY.

I THINK I'LL NAME HER WALTER.

(all) OH!

HEY, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

(all) MERRY CHRISTMAS.

WELL, WALTER,

WE'LL JUST LEAVE THIS LITTLE
SNACK FOR SANTA CLAUS,

WHICH IS NOT TO SAY THAT
I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS

BUT IN LIFE, WALTER,

YOU'LL FIND IT PAYS
TO HEDGE YOUR BETS.

[bells jingling]

(Santa Claus) HO! HO!
HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!