Ground Floor (2013–2015): Season 2, Episode 4 - The Break-Ups - full transcript

Mansfield: All right, listen up.

I just heard from the Hong Kong office

and we have a big opportunity
in the Asian market.

I know we just finished off a
huge Chinese deal an hour ago,

but I'm already hungry for more.

That's a joke.

(Laughs) Okay. It's okay.

That was a good one,
sir. I love your jokes.

Really?

Which, uh, which one of my jokes

would you say is your favorite?



Okay, uh...

Oh, uh, oh, uh, I-I like the one

where you tell us that
we have the weekend off...

Oh! ...And then, uh, and
then we all make plans.

And then you call us on Saturday

and you're like, "you
got to come in to work!"

(Laughs)

Especially because
Richardson missed his wedding.

Richardson, tell everybody...

Wh-why am I not seeing Richardson?

Jackson, where the hell is Richar...

Where the hell is Jackson?!

Forgive me, sir.

But, uh, I've noticed you
tend to be extremely hard



on the bearer of bad news,
so please bear in mind

that I am just the messenger here.

Spit it out.

Jasper McCabe has been calling
everybody, trying to poach them.

Jasper McCabe, that punk money
manager, is poaching my people?

That is outrageous!

Did everybody get a
call? Because I did not.

If it's a war this guy wants,
it's a war he's going to get.

But he's gonna have to do
one hell of a lot better

than poaching my worst people.

I mean, you know, Thompson, Sacks,

and that dead weight McCormick?

I'm still here, sir. (Chuckles)

Oh. Okay.

Well, keep doing a great
job there, McCormick.

Eric, give me the...
where the hell is Eric?

All right, everybody, you
can have the weekend off.

- Yay!
- That was a joke.

Ah.

Yeah, yeah, man. Recycle a doughnut.

That's great. You must
feel good about yourself.

You're doing a good job, handsome.

Thank you. You just call me handsome?

Hey, you know what I like to do
when I need to lift my spirits?

I like to sing about what's going on.

You know, give myself a little theme song.

Ah. Example.

♪ Talking to the trash man

♪ carrying his trash can

♪ giving him a reason to live ♪

You're Jasper McCabe,
the prophet of palo alto.

♪ Getting recognized
by the garbage man ♪

♪ More famous than I thought I can ♪

♪ Be

Yeah, well, I just want to let you know,

I'm... I'm more than just a garbage man.

That's right.

You got to reach for the stars.

Here you go, good-looking.

You're a beautiful man.

Boop!

Uh, no, man, you don't understand.

I'm not like a... $100?

Jesus.

♪ The garbage man's gonna
have some Sushi tonight ♪

Guys, you'll never guess who
I just ran into in the lobby.

Jasper McCabe.

(High-pitched) "Oh, my
God, Brody, tell me more."

(Normal voice) Okay.

Well, he gave me 100 bucks,
and he called me handsome.

(High-pitched) "Oh, that's awesome.

You should feel really
good about yourself, Brody."

Honey, we don't have time for
side voice right now, okay?

Four people just disappeared from upstairs.

Richardson, Thompson, Martinez, Jackson...

All good men who left behind their stuff.

Or, as I now call it, our stuff.

Derrick, you know what?

Just have, like, a little compassion

for these people that just... oh, earbuds!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

These guys were all in my group.

At first they called
us the three musketeers,

but then they brought
in Martinez and Jackson,

so they called us the Jackson five,

which I really never got
because I did all the work.

I suggested the Brody bunch,
but that never caught on.

Anyway, do you guys realize
what's happening here?

It's the douche rapture.

Scripture tells us of a
day when pretentious a-holes

will descend directly into
hell, burning for eternity,

which turns out is a very long time.

Anyway, enjoy your trip. (Chuckles)

No, actually.

Jasper McCabe poached these guys.

Which means there's gonna
be some openings upstairs,

which means Mansfield
is gonna need this guy.

Good luck!

(High-pitched) "Never come back."

Hey. So, Jasper McCabe's poaching, huh?

Yeah. He took the Jackson four.

What? They kept it with Jackson?

Did the name Brody bunch even come up?

All I know is that everybody
up here's getting the call.

Really? Everybody? Not me.

Yet.

He's obviously going alphabetically

and he hasn't gotten to the w's yet.

Well, Zimmerman's gone.

He might also have a thing against asians.

Has anyone seen Chang?

Damn.

All right, listen up.

This is usually the point in a war

where the general says, "troops,
we've lost some good men."

But that's not the case.

We've only lost weak men
like Zimmerman, Chang,

and that dead weight McCormick.

I'm still here, sir.

Fod God's sake, stay in my eye line!

All right, everybody into the war room.

Ooh, I love when his office
turns into the war room.

Up, up! Soldiers only.

Hey.

I'm a soldier.

(High-pitched) "Damn right, you are."

(Normal voice) Thanks, man.

I'll have a double mocha.

And I'd like to apologize
in advance for my friend.

Yes.

And I'll have hot water
poured into this cup

that I brought from my
home because I refuse

to prop up the coffee industrial complex.

I will also be taking
many of these stirrers.

Some I will use now and others
I will use later for crafts.

You really let that barista have it.

Well, they pour water over flavored dirt

and they expect me to stand up and salute?

No, thank you.

I've seen you around a lot. (Chuckles)

I walk around a lot.

(Laughs loudly)

Bye.

God, what was I thinking?

That guy is so out of my league.

Who? Derrick?

No. With the beard.

This homeless guy over by the news stand?

No, the guy pouring half
and half into his thermos.

Harvard?

Okay. Great. Really?

He seems so awesome.

I bet he's awesome. Is he awesome?

He...

You know, in his own very specific way,

he is really awesome.

He's... he's smart.

And he's funny.

Uh, he's a little weird.

My college boyfriend

was one of those "Harry Potter" super fans

who spoke Parseltongue

and played Quidditch every weekend,

so I could do with a
little weird for a change.

Okay, well, you should let
me set you up with Harvard.

- You'd do that for me?
- That's what friends do.

And, plus, I'm great at it.

I set up my best friend with
her last seven boyfriends.

Okay, real talk. She's gonna die alone.

But you are gonna be easy.

I cannot figure out

how he's stealing my men
right from under my nose.

Oh, actually, sir, this soldier

did a little recon for
you on Jasper McCabe.

Turns out he's in our lobby.

- So what I thought we should do...
- In my lobby?

Yeah. Make a hole.

Today's not the day to mess with me.

Ooh, close, close, close, close, close.

(Elevator bell dings)

(Elevator bell dings)

Ah, didn't see you there, sir.

Mr. Wen, when you buy a skyscraper,

always spring for the elevator remote.

(Elevator bell dings)

Jasper McCabe.

Remington Mansfield.

So great to finally meet you.

What are we doing? We shaking? We hugging?

I judge a man by his handshake.

Yeah, yeah.

Like a bag of lukewarm hot dogs.

You got some nerve coming in my building.

Well, you know what?

Speaking of your building,
you think you could

hook a brother up with the wi-fi password?

'Cause the cell service here is redonk.

Yeah.

The password is "go f yourself," all caps.

Now get the hell off my property.

Your property actually
starts at that elevator.

And, you see, the lobby
is actually designated

a public space per the
San Francisco zoning code.

Did I mention that I
minored in urban planning?

I also happen to play the French horn.

Oh, my God. He's a renaissance man.

Terrific because I'm gonna go ahead

and play you a song on my
I'm-gonna-kick-your-ass-aphone.

Ooh. Whoa, whoa.

Let me... let me handle this, sir.

Do you know who I am?

Do you have any idea who I am?

Because I didn't get a call.

McCabe, let me... let
me make this very clear.

Men with much stronger handshakes than you

have been trying to take
me down since the '80s.

Well, I wouldn't know. I was born in 1990.

Wait. So, you... you're, what, 15?

No. You're 25.

Holy shit. That went by fast.

My... my point is,

I've destroyed hundreds of guys like you.

No, you've destroyed
hundreds of guys like you.

You see, the business is changing.

And you're not.

You're damn right I'm not.

I did not mean that as a compliment.

(Elevator bell dings) It's too late.

I feel great about myself.

Ah, there's my 1:00 right there.

McCormick.

Now I see you!

You have poked the bear.

And you, come here.

You're in for the longest elevator ride

of your young life.

Well, hey, hey, hey.

Look who got a promotion.

See? Keep reaching for
the stars, good-looking.

For the record, I have an MBA from Harvard.

You know what? Here's another hundy.

Okay, I don't need...
all right, I'll take that.

But, look.

I used to work upstairs.

I was Mansfield's top money manager.

My name's Brody Moyer.

- Brody Moyer?
- Yeah.

Well, you're a stud.

You were at the top of my list.

No one knew where you went.

I was supposed to go to
Hong Kong with Mansfield.

Instead, I went to
Paris with my girlfriend.

Join Jackson, Thompson,
Richardson, Martinez.

The Jackson five. I was thinking
more like the Brody bunch.

It's like you live in my heart.

Look, uh, I-I'm tempted,

but I... I got a good thing going.

What are you, plunging
money out of those toilets?

Look, I have a history with Mansfield.

He's kind of like a father figure to me.

But Mansfield's days are over.

He's a dinosaur. I'm a meteor.

He's classified ads. I'm Craigslist.

- He's the radio star. I'm video.
- Yeah, I get it.

You're the things that kill other things.

I-I-I still am
gonna have to pass.

Hey, just... just one
quick question before you go.

What is the wi-fi password?

Oh, it's "go f yourself," all caps.

I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

Hey, be confident, okay?

You are smart, you are cute,
you are rocking those bangs.

You're right.

I can do this.

I cannot do this.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

You do not have to do anything
you are not ready to do.

Harvard!

No!

Hey, you. So, we meet again.

I've never seen you
before in my entire life.

Okay.

Uh, can you look at my keyboard?

It's not working. All right.

Let's just see what... oh.

(Dripping)

It looks like someone spilled a soda in it.

Two, actually. One didn't do anything.

This is gonna take a lot of work.

And now it's broken.

So it's literally out of my hands.

That's my exact sense of humor.

I like your beard. Thank you.

It keeps my face warm.

Uh, can I ask you a question?

Mm-hmm. Does it tickle when you kiss?

I guess there's only one
way to find out, isn't there?

(Laughs)

Yeah. Yeah. You know what?

It actually does a little bit, yeah.

Okay.

Well, I guess I'll leave you to it.

Unless you want me to hang around.

- No.
- (Laughs loudly)

Okay, good.

What the hell is wrong with you, man?

She was hitting on you.

Well, I did not get that impression at all.

Besides, she's not my type.

Dude, she's totally your type.

She's a woman, and she's not a dude.

Well, I'm spoken for.

Oh, my God!

Dude, you're not in a
relationship with Jenny.

Well, maybe not this moment.

Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow.

But you know what? Probably tomorrow.

And when she finally comes around,

I'll tell you what.

She's gonna be getting
a little bit of this.

(Laughs)

It really does tickle. It does.

I'm telling you, Jenny,
Harvard is not gonna move on.

You got to break up with him.

Yeah, that makes sense.
Um, except for one thing.

I'm not dating him!

I know that. You know
that. He does not know that.

You should have seen

how he was making out
with his hand in there.

Oh, my God. Derrick, I can't.

I can't. I've never broken up with anybody.

Come on. No, I'm serious.

I hate being the bad guy.

You know, instead of breaking up with them

I just stop calling and,
like, hope they go away.

Damn.

Well, Harvard is not going away, okay?

If you want him to be happy,
you got to dump his ass.

Okay. Fine.

So, what do I say?

Guys are idiots, okay?

You can't be subtle.

If you want him to get the message,

you got to hit him in the head with a rock.

Here. Feel this dent right here.

Oh, my God.

Tanya, 2012.

And it took two rocks.

We still friends, though.

- What's up?
- I got to go see Mansfield.

I finally have leverage.

I just got a job offer from McCabe.

(Gasps) Oh.

That's great for you.

Uh... One question.

Were you wearing the gloves
and holding the plunger

when you got the offer?

Actually, I was.

Funny, right?

(Laughing) Yeah, that's hilarious.

It looks like I'm crying, but I'm laughing.

Brody: Sir?

Yes? What do you want? I am very busy.

I just wanted to let you know

I got a job offer from Jasper McCabe.

Oh, well done. Congratulations.

But I also wanted you to
know that I turned it down.

That was stupid.

No. No, you don't understand.

I just turned down a high-paying
job with your competitor

so I could stay up here and work for you.

As my personal plumber?

No. I should not have brought the plunger.

Finally!

I've been on hold for two hours.

This is a medical emergency!

Hey, Harvard. When you get a
sec, I'd love to talk to you.

Oh, yeah, what's up?

Um, so, the thing is...

oh, God, I'm not good at this.

Um, okay.

Harvard, you and I
cannot continue like this.

I knew this day would come.

We have to tell Brody about us.

I'm gonna need a rock.

An engagement ring? (Chuckles)

No, Harvard, you're not listening to me.

I am listening.

I just don't understand.

I want to be here, and you need me.

Half your managers have jumped ship,

but I stayed loyal to you.

Oh, wait a minute.

You want to talk to me about loyalty?

Not anymore.

I picked you... you
to open our new office.

You were supposed to
fly with me to Hong Kong.

And we were gonna...

We were gonna build this
whole thing together.

Instead, you flew to
Paris with your girlfriend

and you left me on that goddamn
airplane all by myself, alone.

You lied to me.

You let me down.

And, son, you broke my heart.

Sir... I know I messed up.

But I only did it one time.

When you violate my
trust one time, just once,

you can never get back to zero.

Never.

You can't mean never.

W-what about in 30 years

when I find you on Facebook

after your first failed marriage?

Oh, sure, you've, you
know, let yourself go.

But, hey, I like you like that.

You know? I mean,
obviously, don't go crazy.

It is not crazy to want things
to go back to the way they were.

I'm sure someday you and I

could have a, uh, a different relationship.

But please listen to me carefully.

Things are never gonna
be the way they were.

If this is one of your
tests, you need to be clear,

because I can't do this anymore
and I am prepared to leave.

I don't know why this is so hard for me.

I don't know what you're trying to tell me.

Just help me to help you and then...

I'm trying to help you help me.

But I'm trying to help...
(Shrieking indistinctly)

It's over.

It's over.

Okay.

Okay. (Sighs)

Wait, are you breaking up with me?

Harvard, I'm sorry.

I've never broken up with anybody before,

and I just... I really
didn't want to hurt you.

You're not the first girl
who wasn't going out with me

to break up with me.

And if you want to know the truth,

you won't be the last.

Just as long as you're okay.

Yeah, I'm... I'm fine.

So, how you really doing, Harvard?

(Crying) I hurt bad.

You know what?

Why don't you call that Lindsay girl?

Yeah.

I don't know who that is.

Well, maybe you need a little while.

Come here. (Sobbing)

That explains it. Okay.

Mr. Mansfield,

I know you're not supposed to be disturbed

while you're playing army, but, uh,

one of the guys from downstairs

wanted to know if he could come in.

Good.

I, uh, I might have been
a little harsh on him.

Y-young lady, have you ever
said something to someone

and then regretted it immediately?

Every second of every day, sir.

Well, yeah, send him in.

Mr. Mansfield, I'm supposed
to drip feed your succulents.

I hope that means plants.

To be honest with you,

I thought you were
going to be someone else.

I don't... don't suppose you know

if Mr. Moyer is still downstairs?

Nah, he left. He took a job
with that guy Jasper McCabe.

I see.

Yeah, they offered me a
job, but I turned it down.

Son of a bitch!

There he is.

My big fish. Come here. Come on.

(Shouts) Yep!

Oh, you actually want me to... uh-huh.

Okay. (Laughs)

(Sighs)

Welcome to the big leagues, my man.

♪ Oh, you did the right thing
coming to work for the king ♪

♪ Who knows what the
future will bring? ♪

♪ Money and sunshine ♪ money and money

Did you just say sunshine?

What's up?