Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 8, Episode 13 - If/Then - full transcript

Meredith dreams of what her life would have been.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
The baby you have

is the baby you were
destined to have.

What you thinkin', huh?

- It was meant to be.
- You gettin' tired?

That's what all the adoption
people tell you anyway.

- What you see?
- Anyway,

I like to think it's true.

But everything else in the world

seems so completely random.

You gonna talk now, too?

What if one little
thing I said or did...

Could have made it all fall apart?

What if I'd chosen
another life for myself...

Or another person?

We might have never found each other.

What if I had been raised differently?

What if my mother had never been sick?

What if I'd actually had a good father?

What if?

What if?

What if?




Good morning, mom.


Are you riding with me
or with your father?

Because if you're riding
with me, we have to leave now.

Don't wait.
I'll go with dad.

- Good.
- Who's coming with me?

- Oh, hiya, darling.
- Hi.

- Mwah.
- Don't be late,

Either of you.
Sets a bad example.

I'm telling you...

It's true.

- Oh, thank you so much.
- You're welcome.


All right.

I need you to sit right here

and wait until mommy
comes out, okay?

Don't move. Here.
Play with your thingy.

And, uh, I'm gonna just be
in the next room...

no, mommy!

Yes. Sit right there.

Hey, pumpkin.

Hi, daddy.

Hey, hey. Really?

Really? I mean, you couldn't
figure out...

Anything else?

Well, Owen, if she's gonna
schedule staff meetings

before the day care opens,
what do you expect me to do?

- I know, I know.
- Yeah.

Chief's here.

Okay, bye, guys.

I've been looking
at Seattle pres' numbers,

and I think we can absorb them
the way we did mercy west.

I want reports
on where your departments

can use extra residents
and equipment.

Congratulations on your
third Harper Avery Award.


Portal vein reconstruction...

pretty soon they're gonna
rename The Whipple The Grey.

Thank you.

Well, there's some press
here today... FYI.

Okay, let's go. Trauma?

Uh, abdominal closure
on an M.V.C.,

and we will wait
to see what comes in.
- Neuro?

I have a laminectomy.

Just one?
You got a golf game?

You know what, people?

I keep saying it.

If you're not innovating,
be generating.


Yang is doing a solo
thoracic aortic aneurysm,

oh, uh, and also, I'll be
checking in on my kid

with the artificial lung
who is waiting for a transplant.

Uh, yeah, can I just say for
the record that he's my patient,

and I don't agree
with this method of treatment?

The fda has not approved
an artificial lung on children.

Well, I got emergency approval.

It buys the kid more time,

it keeps him from being
sedated and ventilated,

I think it's worth exploring.

He should be sedated.
Let his body heal.

This is just too risky.

It's innovative. Shepherd,
this is what I'm talking about.

Let's hope it works.

Good work, Torres.

General, Dr. Bailey?

Uh, yes.
An extended whipple.

Speak up.

I'm doing an extended whipple.

- Owen.
- I got it.

Dr. Bailey, go on.

Um, 47-year-old male,

advanced pancreatic cancer

with invasion
of the portal vein.

Well, what are you using
to graft the portal vein?


Um, the jugular.

I'll take that.

- Excuse me?
- I'll take your whipple.

Send me the chart A.S.A.P.

Okay. Well, I...


A pyloric stenosis.

Actually, two pylorics and...

That's not
a reflection on you, Bailey.

She probably wants a surgery
to take her mind

off of all
the Harper Avery fuss.

Now don't take it
the wrong way.

I'm not.


Thank you so much.

Oh, my God!


Last night.

I mean, I kind of thought
he would,

and then, sure enough.

Are you okay, April?

'Cause I know...

- I mean, I knew this was gonna
be hard for you, but..
- Oh.

You are going to find
someone, April.

And Charles is really into you.

Ugh! I know, I know,
but Charles is...


Hey, April.

Charles is what?


No, no, no.

I am thrilled.
Have you told anyone else?

Besides my parents, no.
You're my person.

Oh, God, this is so beautiful.

You guys, you're gonna be,
like, the next Shepherds.

Screw that. We're gonna be
the next webbers.

Okay, how did he do it?
Tell me everything.

Okay, so last night, we went
out to dinner, and he...

Good morning.

Are you talking to me?


Don't feed the animals.

Every single one of you
can suck my...

Hey! How's everybody
doing this morning?

Everybody ready
to kick some butt?

Let's run the board, guys.

Covering the pit.

Noble work. Y-Yang?

Solo thoracic aortic aneurysm.


Well, I guess that means,
I'm doing Torres' post-ops.


Uh, I'm on Shepherd's service.
Good Shepherd.

Oh, hey.
I'm on bad Shepherd.

Maybe we're gonna be
The Next Shepherds.

No, we aren't.

All right, guys. The day
is as good as you make it.

All right, let's get out there
and keep Seattle grace

the country's best hospital.

Come on!

Yang, smile. Yeesh.

All right. Let's move.

Uh, can I speak with you,
Dr. Webber?



Okay, okay, okay.

I thought we had a rule
about this in the hospital.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just... my God.
You're so hot in that ring.

I do look good, don't I?


Hey, what did
your parents think?

I mean, what did your mom say?

Oh, well, she loved it
of course.

And she adores you.

Well, finally.
It took a while.

Well, you were a jerk
before you met me.

She didn't know there was
a good guy in there.

But I did.

Oh, I love it.


And I love you.

Have a great day.

Okay, come on, guys
and allegra.

Let's go.

Gosh, he's so good
with the kids.

How's he doing?

He's better.

Yeah. I think
we're past it.


- Yeah.
- That's great.


I know. I've just heard
it can be...

A hard road, coming back.

I mean, who knows what
he went through over there.

Yeah, well... he doesn't
like to talk to me about it.

But he does Skype with
some of his old buddies

that are still in Iraq,
and, um,

this guy Teddy seems to be
helping him through it.

And he hasn't had
another episode

since that one.

So anyway, he's good.

He's good. We're good now.

I don't know how you do it.

And then with the kids, too?

Mm. Well... You'll
find out soon enough, right?

Oh, besides, you and Derek
will be fine.

You two are perfect.

All Ellis is saying

is that she wants you
to use your full potential.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, hi, honey.


Like that clinical trial
you used to talk about.

I'm about to have
a child, Richard.

I don't have time
for a clinical trial.

I think you should find it.

I think it'll do you good.

Good morning.


A clinical trial...

this elevator is not working.


What an ass.

We brought you a cokehead
found in an alley.

Presumed overdose.
Tried Narcan. No response.

Had to shock her once
in the field at 300.

B.P. is 80 over 60.

Sats 96 on 100%.

All right. On my count.


Stop. V-fib.
Charge the paddles to 300.


There we go.

- Ready?
- On my count.

One, two...


Avery, she's all yours.

All right, let's get
a tox screen, an E.K.G.,

a C.B.C., a C.M.P., and an x-ray now.

Right away, doctor.

Well, it's
a stroke of luck, actually.

I'm doing a surgery today,

and I'm planning to use
the new grey technique.

So rather than
a boring press interview,

why don't you come on up
to the gallery,

take a few shots of
the technique in action...

And, uh, we'll talk after?

I'll see you in the O.R.

- Great. Sounds good.
- Thank you.

All right.

Okay, thanks.

That was brilliant.

Why settle for another
boring press release, right?

So can I scrub in?

I would love to see
the procedure done firsthand.

Why? Your focus is cardio.

You're not gonna get
a cardio fellowship

scrubbing in
on your mother's whipple.

That's true.

Cristina Yang is doing
a solo aortic aneurysm today.

I... that came in last night,
and had I been here...

yeah, but you weren't

because you were too busy
getting engaged.

So now that that's over,
what do you want to do?

Do you want to do
an aortic aneurysm?


Do you want me
to ask Dr. Torres

to give it to you?

No, mother.
I can get it myself.

There you go.

Dr. Bailey.

I am stoked
for our whipple today.

Are you stoked?

We, uh...

No, we're not...

You gotta speak up.

We're not doing
a whipple today.

I had it taken from me.

Mandy. No.

Please don't call me Mandy.

We talked about this.

You can't let people
walk all over you.

You gotta stand up
for yourself.

Not if it's Ellis Grey,
I don't.

Ellis is operating?

Come on.

The next best thing
to operating

is watching Ellis Grey do it.

We gotta get in
on that surgery, Mandy.

Remember what we say?

I don't remember what we say.

We create...

Oh, we create our own destiny.

Our own destiny.
That's right. Come on.

Chop, chop.

Hi there.

Oh, God.

Ugh. What now?

Well, you O.D.'ed,

your heart stopped,
but you're stable.

Can I get a name, please?

Oh, so you can call the cops?

Nah, I just need
anything really,

so we don't mix up your pee
with somebody else's.

You have my pee?

Yeah. You were kinda giving it
away for a while there.



- Lucille.
- Okay.


You're a funny lady.

Well, that's how
I make my living.

All right, Ms. Ball.

We are gonna get you worked up

and send you on your way.

Hey, where am I?

Uh, Seattle grace hospital.

Oh, God.


Don't push.


Theresa, don't push.

- Aah!
- Kepner, what's happening?

She's dilated and effaced.
The baby started crowning

and then just stopped.

Okay, move.


Theresa, you're doing great.




Okay, Kepner, order up
a 3-D ultrasound, stat,

and prep an O.R.
For a crash C-section.

- And page my husband.
- Right away.

What happened?

He detached the connector
to the artificial lung,

and I had to
clamp off the cannula

to stop the bleeding.

I told you this was a bad idea.

All right. Let's book an O.R.
Let's get it hooked back up.

No, it's too dangerous.
He has to go back on ECMO.

I-it's not working,
so he's worse?

Hold on.
Everybody, stop.

Look at his sats.

He's never been above 79.

His respiratory rate's good

Riley, I-is it hard for you
to breathe at all?

No, I can breathe.

Okay, hold on.

You blow in this, okay?

- Oh.
- Wow.

What's happening?

He's breathing
better than he should be.

He's breathing better
than he ever has.

So he can use it
until he gets the transplant?

We need to run more tests,

From the sound of his lungs,

it's possible he may not
even need a transplant.

- Are you serious?
- Well, you know, we have to...

- Are you serious?!
- We have to see the tests, but...

Oh, thank you! Oh!

I love you! I love you!

I think I do, too.



Wait. What?

But why? Why can't you
do the surgery?

Uh, the chief of surgery,
Ellis Grey,

will be doing the... it.

Uh, I mean, I can.

I would. She just...

There's protocols, and she...

Think of it as a huge upgrade.

You just got handed
the keys to a Jaguar

and you've been driving,
like, a civic.

A good car.
A solid, dependable car.

But Dr. Grey...

hello, Alex.

Mr. Taylor, Mrs. Taylor,
I'm Dr. Grey.

I'll be doing your
pancreaticoduodenectomy today.

I'll graft with a section
of your internal ILIAC vein...

a new technique
of my invention.

By forgoing the use
of the jugular,

you'll have no visible scaring
on the neck.

Oh, well, that's nice...

I'll gladly have you
sign these consent forms.

It's a pleasure to meet you.
I'll see you after we're done.


Dr. Grey.

Any chance I could
scrub in with you?

Alex, of course.
Love to have you.


You have to speak up
for yourself.

C-can you explain anything
that woman just said?

You know, I-I, uh,

excuse me.


Here you go, sir.

Your heart stopped again.

Because of all the cocaine
you've enjoyed,

you're going to need
a surgical implant...

an A.I.C.D. pacemaker.

If you have any questions
about this procedure,

here's an informative brochure.

She's a ray of sunshine.

She is.

I'm gonna go out on a limb

and assume that you don't
have any insurance.

So is there somebody
maybe I can call...

parents, somebody?

No. Parents are dead.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Is it from disease,
family history?

My mother died
of a stomach thing.

My father killed himself.

I am really sorry.

What's... what's funny?

I do have a sister.
She's a half sister.




She's a doctor...

At this hospital.

What, are you kidding?


Who? Who? Who is she?

Hey, we've never met.
She doesn't know me.

And trust me,

she doesn't want to.

You paged?

Yeah, have a look
at her ultrasound.

That is a massive tumor.

- What?
- Percy, shut up.

It's pressing
up against the neck.

Is the airway secured?

I did an exit and trached her.

It's as secure
as it can be for now.

Why can't I see my baby?
What's wrong?

Theresa, your baby has a tumor.

But Dr. Shepherd's here. He's
gonna take good care of her.

The Shepherds are the best

you and your baby
could hope for, okay?

They are an amazing team.

All right.

- Wait.
- What's wrong with her?

What took you so long?

I wasn't standing around,

I had to make sure that
the mother wouldn't bleed out.

If we wait any longer,
she won't even be a mother.

It's pressing against
the trachea.

I need to make sure
the airway's secure.

The bleeders can't wait.

You have to work on the neck
as I operate.

It's gonna take us all day.

I'm sorry. I know
you weren't planning

on spending the day
with your wife.

I'll see you in there.

It's a beautiful day
to save lives.


- Oh, hey, darlin'.
- Hey.

What's up?

I have to steal a surgery
from cristina Yang.


Yang's always
stealing surgeries.

That girl gives me the creeps.

I know. It's just...

Mom's operating today,
and I thought it would be nice

to go in and see it,

but she doesn't want me
in there, so...

Remember when you were
learning how to ride a bike

and you ran into the back of
the Richmonds' station wagon?


What happened after that?

I sat on the curb and cried

and bled all over you.

Well, after that?

You made me get back
on my bike.


Your mother
made you get back on,

and you learned to ride a bike.

She just wants you to succeed.

I know.

I'm doing a proctocolectomy
right now.

You want in?

Single incision?

I probably shouldn't.

Yeah. Probably not.

How many aortic aneurysms
has she actually done?

Two... in the hospital.

She's probably done more
at home on cats.

Hey, does she eat
with anyone, ever?

- Mnh-mnh.
- No.

That's what happens to you
when you screw an attending.

You're a pariah.

Unlike your approach of just
never having sex with anybody?

No virgin jokes.

Thank you.

Her and Preston Burke?


And apparently,
it was so scary for him,

he actually had to
leave the state.

I always say, never mess
with the crazy chicks.

She's probably gonna go
full-on Izzie one day

and shoot up the hospital.

What's Izzie?

Oh, it means "crazy."

She was a girl in our class

who was sleeping with a patient.
- Mm.

- And then she stole
a transplant heart for him.
- What?

Until Meredith turned her into
her mom and got her fired.

Oh, my God, Mer.
You're so brave.

Hold on a second.

How many people
washed out your year?

- Uh, two.
- Uh, her and O'Malley.


He, uh, failed his intern exam

and was never seen again.


Here I go.

Where are you going?

To get back on my bicycle.


Dr. Grey is gonna graft
an ILIAC vein

to the portal vein,

but that man's got bilateral
deep vein thrombosis

in his femorals,

and the ILIACs won't be usable.

I mean, she's gonna
look first, right?

Who's that woman
with Dr. Robbins?

I don't know.
Some ortho surgeon.


I should've gone into ortho.
I liked ortho.

Why didn't you?

Well, when Ellis Grey says
you're good for cardio...

Excuse me, Dr. Torres.


I was wondering if I could do
the aortic aneurysm today.

This will be Yang's third,
and I've only done one.

So it's only fair...

Webber, I know
how many you've done.

And I know
what my residents need, okay?

My mother suggested
that I ask you.

Why don't you split it?

You and Yang can, uh,
do it together.

Thank you.

Whatever Ellis Grey wants.

You know it.

Yang's not gonna like it.

Well, it's better than
kicking her off the case.


Bitch scares me.


You got some's plaining to do.

I'm gonna, uh,
I'm just gonna go.

No, you're not,

because if you don't get
this procedure,

you're going to die.

Look, I get it. I know.

It is scary.

But I can tell you everything
that's gonna happen.

Yeah, I already read
the brochure.


The automatic implanted
cardioverter defibrillator

is... is placed beneath the skin
below the collarbone.

- The electrode wires th...
- Wow.

Yeah, I have
a photographic memory.

Yeah. Okay.

Well, you should go
to med school.

Right. Or I could be
a ballerina.

I'm serious.

Okay? You should see
all of this

as a second chance.

People turn things around
all the time.

You're smart.

You're sharp.
You're beautiful.

You got a sister here
you've never even met.

You could have
a whole new family.

Let's start by fixing
your heart, okay?

Oh, okay.

Oh. All right.

It's gonna be okay.

What the hell is Meredith Webber
doing on my aortic aneurysm?



if you tell Meredith
or Ellis or anyone...

That surgery is mine.

You can't just throw
your girlfriend on it.

I swear, Yang.

I will fix it so you never see
the inside of an O.R. again.

I will bury you.

I'm not sharing my surgery.

Change the board
and get her off.

Look, I didn't change the board.
Torres did.

Where's Torres then?

C.S.F. is leaking.

Let's get some suction
in here, Percy.

I need you to have lunch
with the president

of the board
of the Bryson school tomorrow.

Why are you
talking about this now?

Because, Derek,
you're never home.

You're always spending the night
in that stupid trailer

on that stupid piece of land

planning that stupid house
that you're never gonna build.

Pulse ox is dropping.
What did you do?

I didn't do anything. It's
invading the tracheal wall.

- Clamp.
- Secure the airway. We're losing her.

I'm working as hard
as I can, Derek.

You just pay attention
to what you're doing.

Uh, do me a favor.

- I'm going into surgery.
- Yeah, just...

tell Dr. Grey
that the patient has

a history of D.V.T.

And that the ILIAC veins

may not be suitable
for grafting.

Whoa, whoa.
Wait. Wait. What?

Why didn't you say something?

J-just... you're going
in there. Just tell her.

You tell her.
He's your patient.

I'm not gonna tell her
she's wrong.

I mean, she... she took
the chart. She read it.


Yes. She knows
what she's doing.

Well, just tell her.

Yang, wait.

When in the hell are you gonna
give Lucille Ball her A.I.C.D.?

You have to do it.
I've got surgery.

I don't think so.
You did the consult.

- Where's your wife?
- What?

She was supposed to place
a pacemaker in our O.D. girl

hours ago...
- Hey.

- And now she's trying
to pawn it off on me.
- Hey.

I have a surgery.

You're the cardio consult.
You do it.

Avery can do it.

I can't spare Avery.

I'm not giving up this surgery

to stick a pacemaker
in a junkie.

Tell your wife to have
Meredith Webber...

Yang, just back off!

I'm sorry. I just...

I just got really...

you won't need stitches...

This time.

I thought it was supposed
to be getting better.

Or are you gonna hit
another intern?


Why do you keep helping me?

Why don't you just report me?

Because I'm a doctor.

Please don't tell my wife.

Well, you can finish
the rest of this.

I have surgery.

Suction here.

So June sounds good.
Have you thought about where?

Oh, M-Meredith and I thought
about, uh, Hawaii. That might be cool.

You know, have everyone
come out and...

Really, a destination wedding?

Alex, I'm running a hospital.

I can't just dash off to...

retract that, please.

You'll do it here.
I'll book the rainier club.

It's gorgeous.

That sounds great.

What the hell am I looking at?

The ILIAC veins
are completely thrombosed,

both of them.

Completely unusable.

Did you know about this?

Uh, no.

Change of plans.

We'll use the renal vein.

Damn it.

Someone page Dr. Bailey,

I want her in here now.

Why aren't you doing a TEVAR?

I'm doing a direct approach.
It's cooler.

A TEVAR is safer.
It's far less invasive.

You go in through the femoral,

you don't have to crack
the chest.

I already ordered the graft.

You two might have worked out
your surgical plan before this.

I did, and my surgical plan
didn't include this nimrod.

No, it just included
hacking up the patient

like a psychopath.

Girls, don't make me come
over there and do it myself.

Shut up and work.



Where have you been?

I'm, um, booking an O.R.

I'm gonna take my... that girl
up for her pacemaker.


Somebody made off with
an armload of drugs

from the dispensary...
codeine, morphine, demerol.

Okay, why...

'cause the dispensary
was accessed

with your I.D. Card.

That's why.

Oh, damn it.

But you knew the patient
had thrombosis?


- I had... I did.
- Speak up.

In the legs... yes.

Um, did you look at his chart?

Of course I looked
at his chart.

But there was no indication

that the thrombosis
was this bad.

Why wasn't it in his chart?

Because I had chosen

to use the jugular.

They were
in the medical records.

And you didn't tell me

because I'd opted
to not cut the man's throat?

Well, that's...
It's a good plan...

but I ended up cutting
his throat anyway.

My procedure's a wash,

and the patient's been under
far longer than is optimal.

That's why
I picked the jugular.

Is that right...
Dr. Bailey?

Is that why you picked it?

Alex, where's my graft?

Here's the graft.

I'm just suturing.


Oh, my God.

I might have nicked
the carotid.

You people
are trying to kill me.

Did you get the whole tumor?

I told you.

I'm not asking for myself.

I'm asking what I should
tell the mother...

just go.
I will talk to her myself.

So we'll talk about
the preschool...

it's gonna be late.

I'm gonna stay and look into
this clinical trial.

That's great.

One more reason for you
to stay out of the house.

That's fine.

- It's fine. Maybe you'll be more
interested once the baby comes.
- Right.

Everything's gonna be different
when the baby comes.

- Well, a girl can hope.
- Nothing's gonna change.

What do you think
is gonna change?

- Do you even want a baby?
- I didn't say that.

- I'm not ta...
- Yes, I want a baby.

No, I'm not talking about
a baby. This baby, with me.

Do you love me?

Do you?

Of course I love you.

Can you say it
without looking at the floor?

Less than three minutes
of circulatory arrest left.

You go over that,
and the organs start dying.

If Webber
hadn't taken so long...

- I took the time it needed.
- Two minutes.

- Done. Go back on bypass.
- Yes, doctor.

Oh, got a leak.

Okay, I'll find it.
I'll throw a stitch.

No, it's too risky.
The leak is behind the heart.

You need to do
an internal graft.

Will you shut up?
I will find it.

Dr. Torres?

Webber's right, Yang.

Her way is safer.
Let her do it.

5-0 Prolene.

Move your hands.

Move your hands, please.


what are you doing?
Move your hands.

I got it.
I found the leak.

Uh, give me a clamp.
2-0 Prolene. I got it.

Have you seen my wife?

As a matter of fact, I have.

She just threatened to quit.

Do me a favor.

Wash your laundry at home,
not in my O.R.

Well, oh, there's two sides
to every story...

Yeah, I'm not interested
in your side.

Derek, Richard and I had
very high hopes for you,

but you have been nothing
but a disappointment.

You don't publish,
you don't teach,

your attitude is terrible.

The residents have
a nickname for you,

and it is not flattering.

- What do they call me?
- Get it together,

because if it comes down to
a choice between you and her,

you need to be very clear
which one of you I will choose.

Trust me, you two don't
want to be the next Shepherds.

So I start to do the repair...

- And she just stuck her hand in?
- Yes!

- Wait. What happened?
- Yang's a freakin' maniac.

She's dangerous.

My patient's fine.

Awake, great vitals,
if you were interested.

Well, that's great,
'cause o.D. Girl bolted.

You had no business
shoving in there.

You had no business
in that O.R.

I wasn't about to let
that guy die

watching you Jack around
with the internal graft.

That was the right technique.

Dr. Torres specifically...

Dr. Torres
only sided with you

because you're
the chief's little girl.

She's a pathetic lackey.

Well, we'd all be working under
Dr. Preston Burke right now,

but you screwed us out of
that opportunity, literally.

What exactly did you do to him?

Because he left the state
to get away from you.

Good one.

If you want to get personal,

why don't you ask
prince charming

what he and the virgin Mary
like to do in his office?
- What?

What are you talking about?


- She's a lunatic.
- What... what... what
is she talking about?

You can't believe
a word she says.

She's just... come on!



I'm sorry. I'm s...

I'm sorry. I...

Oh, God.

Oh, just shoot me now.

Oh, God.

Tests are good.
Sats are great.

He's breathing unassisted.

He's gonna be home
by the end of the week.

And he's been taken off
the transplant list?

Yep, yep. Two weeks
on your little thing,

and his lungs
are actually improved.

Well, good work.

Oh, amazing work.

And I didn't even
want to do it.

It was amazing.

You're amazing.

Well, um, we should, uh,

celebrate y... sometime.

Yeah, we should.
We should go get drinks.

I mean, this is...
This is one to celebrate.

- Dr. Torres, here are your kids.
- Yeah.



Oh, hi, baby girl. Hi.


Well... sometime.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, sometime.

All right. Here we go.

Slow down...

And tell me.

I can't.

I mean, I can't believe them.

I cannot believe them!

I heard what happened.

You did?


And you should be upset.

- You should be humiliated.
- Ellis...

You don't let Yang,

you don't let anyone
show you up in your O.R.

Understand? Ever.

I shouldn't have been in there.

I wasn't prepared.

Then why in the world
did you go in?

Because you pushed me.

And you aren't mad

because I embarrassed myself.

You're mad
because I embarrassed you.

Ellis, what in the hell
is wrong with y...

I want you to fire
Mandy Bailey.

- Tonight, Richard.
I want you to do it tonight.
- What are you talking about?

- What is this about?
- She made a complete fool of me.

I had no idea, no idea at all.

I looked like...
like a total failure.

Okay, look... now look,
just hold on.

Now... now just...

Just breathe.

I was humiliated.


In front of all those people.

I was just trying to fix
her stupid mistake.

I know.

I looked...
I looked like a fraud...

But you...
you know you're not.

You know that.

Like an idiot.

There was nothing to graft.

Okay, look, okay,
but you... you made it work.

You always do.
The patient is fine.


you can't control everything.

I know you want to.

But you can't, okay?

Is Meredith all right?

I don't know how to
talk to her, Richard.

Will you talk to her?

Yeah, I will, I will.
She'll be all right.

I am horrible at it.

I am terrible.

Oh, I just want her to do well.

I just want her to do
the best she can...

I-I know. I know you do.
And she'll be okay, okay?

I promise. Okay?

Thank you.




Yang. Hey.



For today.

Tell your wife
and get some help.

She'll leave,
and I'll lose my kids.



She's afraid
I'm gonna hurt one of them.

Aren't you?


- Hey.
- Hey. How are ya?

- Okay.
- Oh, my gosh.
What happened to your hand?

Oh, oh, I, uh...

I, uh, some junkie patient

knocked me into a tray
of instruments, so...

Oh, you poor baby. All right.
Let's get you home,

and I'll take a look at it, okay?
- Okay.

Oh, okay. Mwah. Okay.

- Okay, let's go. Come on, allegra.
- Come on. Let's go.

All right.

I need help.

She was just lying
in the street.

I almost ran her over.

Okay, we've got this.

Pulse is V-tach.
Where's the crash cart?

- Charge to 360.
- Sir, step back.

It's all right.
I'm a doctor.

Yeah, we're all doctors,
all right? Now move.


Charge to 300.

Sinus tach. We got her.


You know where I can find
Dr. Shepherd?

Which one?


No, dad.

Don't come and clean up
after her again.

You do it every time.

And it's beneath you,
and it's pointless.

I can't do
anything right for her.

Your mother doesn't want...

And I finally figured out why.

She wants everyone
around her to be ordinary

so she can be extraordinary.

She wants everyone around her small.

Oh, you stop it.

And that's what
she's done to you.

She has made you small.

And I'm not gonna let her
do it to me.

I don't, uh...

I d... I don't know
what's wrong with me.

All I know is that
the baby is coming

and I want it.

You know, it...
It may change things.

You'll get happier.

We'll just take it
one step at a time.

I want to make it work.

It isn't your baby.

It's stupid, I know,
but it's a brand-new shirt

and now it's got
junkie blood all over it.


This is awkward.


I've got a rhythm.

Barely, but...
Damn it. It's gone.

If you had just done
the damn surgery...

Asystole. Uh, give her
1 amp of atropine.

I already did it, okay?
It's not helping.

Another, and an amp of EPI.

Do it.


Move. Let's crack her chest.

- Gown.
- What?

N-no. It's not indicated.
She O.D.'ed.

Okay, so she's gonna
die anyway.

What has she got to lose?
Chest tray.

- Here you go.
- Right here.

Okay, let's do it.

- 10-blade.
- On it.


Are you crying?

I screwed up.

I... I had a good thing.

She was a good person,


I had a chance to be better.

And I screwed it up

like I do every frickin' time.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I just lost my job.

Do you see me crying?

I have no earthly idea

what to do next,

but am I hiding in an elevator,

whimpering about it?



Because what do we say, Alex?

What do we say?

We create...

Our own destiny.


And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.

You should, too.

Guys, you lost her.

Shut up!

- One more AMP of EPI. Charge to 20.
- Charging.



Charge to 30.


- Go.
- Clear.

Sinus tach.

Wait. Wait.

Your life is a gift.

Accept it.

- She's back.
- Okay, we got her. We got her.

No matter how screwed up

or painful it seems to be.
- Okay.

Okay, now what do I do?

Okay, lick it, slam it,

and then lime.


- Fast, fast, fast, fast.
- Ugh!


Ah. Okay.
That's good.


We don't have to do that thing
where I say something

and then you say something
and then someone cries

and there's a moment
or whatever?

Oh, yuck.


It's just that...

Nothing is turning out
the way I thought it would.

It's like I don't even
recognize my own life.

I know what you mean.

Some things are going to work out

as if they were destined to happen...

Ugh. I gotta go
get some sleep.

You gotta get some sleep.

You look like crap.

I look better than you.

Not possible.

Your mother says the residents
have a name for me.

I wouldn't know
anything about that.

What is it?

What do they call me?

Psst. Come on.


We call you McDreary.


You think that's funny?

It's apt.


Yeah, that's my life.

So how about tonight,
you're not McDreary?

You're just...

You're just a guy in a bar.

And you're just
a girl in a bar?

I am.

And I drink Tequila.


Here you go.


As if they were just meant to be.