Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 7, Episode 1 - With You I'm Born Again - full transcript
The staff tries to deal with physical and emotional trauma in the wake of the deadly rampage.
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---
In our own way,
we shed our skin.
Biologically,
we're brand-new people.
Are you visiting seattle
for the first time?
Oh, no, no.
I live in seattle.
I- I just went home
for a month.
I took my son
to see my parents.
Oh. What do you do
in seattle?
Uh, I'm a surgeon.
Uh, uh, did you know
any of those doctors...
(lowered voice)
from that shooting?
We may look the same.
We probably do.
The change isn't visible...
At least not in most of us.
But we're all changed...
Completely...
Forever.
But that's normal.
I mean, it's a biological
imperative-- change.
So the shooting changed me.
I'm changed.
But I'm also ready
to get back to work.
I mean, as ready
as any of us are
But I'm also ready
sitting around the house,
Waiting...
I just spend my time
worrying.
Your husband was shot.
That's a lot to worry about.
I'm worried about cristina.
She's getting married,
and that's just...
Well, I had to cut her out
of her last wedding dress
With scissors, so...
You watched your husband
get shot.
He's fine. He's coming back
to work today, actually.
(screams inaudibly)
(shell casing clatters)
(monitor emitting
continuous tone)
We're all fine.
(monitor alarm blares)
(pager beeps)
Uh, ex-excuse me.
(beep)
(ss)
Is everything okay,
dr. Grey?
Yes. Yes.
Everything's fine.
(cell door clatters)
(bangs)
(man) opening two.
(buzzer sounds)
it doesn't look too bad.
You just gotta keep
an eye on it,
Make sure it doesn't get
any bigger.
But if it changes color, you
should see a doctor. Dr. Shepherd.
Mm.
Your lady looks pissed.
(buzzer sounds)
Again, derek?
(cell door clangs)
Whew.
(sighs)
(elevator bell dings)
What?
Nothin'.
Just... You're awesome.
(indistinct conversations)
Chief.
Oh, dr. Bailey.
Welcome back.
Thank you, sir.
We missed you here.
The place isn't the... Same.
Mm.
Uh, did you get cleared
for surgery?
What do you mean,
"cleared for surgery"?
Who has to clear me?
(elevator bell dings)
Well, the next time,
I'll leave you there.
You said that already.
Oh, derek got arrested again.
Meredith...
Reckless endangerment.
Please. Did he lose
his license yet?
Oh, no, because they don't
charge him,
Because the cops worship him.
Because I saved
some of their lives.
What are we picking?
Dress color. I'm not
wearing white. Mm.
It's sexist and...
Vaguely racist. Oh.
No white, no veil, no rice.
Well, what will your mother say?
No mother. (sighs) you know, I
didn't get cleared for surgery...
Good morning. And I'm
pretty sure it's your fault.
Meredith, I am the chief. I can
overrule the counselor. You can?
(chuckles) yes.
I love the blue.
Chief shepherd,
you're back. Okay.
Good morning. I find a
giant skull base chordoma.
Biggest one I've ever seen.
Really?
He came in to the e.R. With trouble
breathing. You got cleared for surgery?
I did.
Bitch.
(cristina) I like the brown,
too. I know it looks inoperable.
I mean, I would've said
it was inoperable,
But you're back and
you're you. Right.
Hey, uh, yes, good morning.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
(staff cheers)
Good. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
It's, uh, it's great
to be back. First of all,
I'd like to thank dr. Webber
for stepping up in my absence.
Thank you.
(mouths word)
(staff cheers) uh, I'm grateful for
all of you, for all of your support
During my recovery.
Thank you.
Uh, it's just, uh,
so great to be back as chief.
I'm grateful for the, uh...
(inhales sharply)
I'm sorry. That's a lie.
That's what people say,
and, uh, the truth is...
(man clears throat)
I hate being chief.
I hate it.
(staff murmuring)
Chief webber...
(murmuring continues)
Chief webber is our chief.
Um...
And I'm sorry,
but this giant...
Sorry, I gotta go
look at this crdoma.
I, um, I'm sorry, but...
(chuckles)
I quit.
(staff murmuring)
Let's go, kepner. Come on.
Oh, sorry. Okay.
(laughing)
he just quit.
(continues laughing)
He was supposed to
clear me for surgery.
(murring continues)
(exhales) yeah.
The bullet's at the surface.
That's good.
I can take it out now.
Nah. I mean, if it's not
infected, m gonna keep it.
It's my war wound.
(chuckles)
Besides...
Chicks dig that crap.
(door opens)
(beeps)
(callie sighs)
Oh, my god.
(derek) mm-hmm. Wow.
You weren't kidding.
The last surgeon
broke the dura,
Which enabled the tumor
to mushroom into the brain
And down into the spine. It's
wrapped around his brain stem.
(beep) whatever we do,
we need to do it quickly.
The size of this thing...
Normally I open up the sinuses
or the hard palate.
Well, now you have to
open up both.
You want me to split
his whole face open?
Sinuses, hard palate,
tongue, jaw--
A broken jaw is excruciating,
let alone the rest of it.
Does this kid know
what he's in for?
He wants to live. I don't think
he's concerned about the pain.
Well, but you don't know
how enmeshed the tumor is.
You don't even know if you can
get it all. Thank you, dr. Grey.
(mark) you want to try
this thing, torres and I
Are gonna need to coordinate. What
are we thinking, a week? No later.
I'll clear my schedule.
Welcome back, dr. Shepherd.
Thank you, dr. Torres.
You're not even cleared for
surgery yet. (monitor beeps)
I'll get cleared.
(clears throat)
(reflection eternal
feat. Estelle) ♪ somebody ♪
♪ call my baby,
say I'm on the way now ♪
♪ oh, yeah ♪
♪ say I'm on my way ♪
♪ see I been going crazy ♪
♪ thinking 'bout you
late nights ♪
Hey, hey, hey.
♪ the way my heart reacts,
it lets me know ♪
♪ I need him ♪
♪ baby, I need you, too ♪
♪ see I been getting
flashbacks ♪
(record needle scratches,
music stops)
Uh, dr. Grey. (chuckles)
chief webber.
Yeah, a little--
little exercise.
Okay.
Mm. Something I can
do for you?
Yeah. Um,
that stupid counselor perkins,
He won't clear me
for surgery.
So I was just wondering--
no.
But he cleared--
I'm-- I'm sorry. I am.
But we brought in the best,
And when andrew perkins says
you're not cleared,
Then it's him
you need to talk to.
(sighs)
(sighs)
♪
Yeah, yeah.
Did you hear
That dr. Yang and dr. Hunt
are getting married?
I did.
It's pretty great, huh?
It's almost like
a silver lining.
You know, I-I've read
a lot about trauma
And how, uh,
sometimes people
Just up
and change their lives.
They say that the trauma
Was the best thing
that could've happened to them.
You know, like dr. Shepherd
this morning.
Did you hear
that he's not chief anymore?
And how have you been,
dr. Grey?
You've been through a lot
since I last saw you.
(gunshot)
(andrew) does, uh, anyone
have anything to say?
I know that, uh, a lot of you
Are only here because
this has been mandated.
So let's talk.
Anything at all?
I ate a really good taco
From one of those trucks
by the sidof the road.
En?
Last night. You were asleep.
Which truck? The one on
7th? I want to I like tacos.
(April) me, too.
I read a book...
About the history of
mass murders in the u.S.
That's-- that's the actual name
of what happened to us.
It was a mass murder. You can't
call it a terrorist attack,
Because the murders
weren't political in nature.
And we weren't the victims
of a serial killer,
Because mr. Clark would've
had to murder several people
Over a period longer than
30 days in order tqualify
As a serial killer. We could call
it a spree killing... (gunfire)
Which is defined as killings
at two or more locations
With no break
or pause in between,
Because mr. Clark shot that guy
in his car before he got here.
But I'm not sure that that
counts as a true second location
Since it was so close
to the hospital,
Which means that we were
a mass murder,
Because it happened
at one place, by one person,
And more than four people
were killed.
(object rattles)
(taps fingers on table)
Oh, that was quite a show
this morning.
I didn't plan it.
(chuckles) made it better.
Any regrets?
No. Any regrets about
proposing to cristina?
None.
Getting shot turns out to not be
e worst thing after all.
I need a best man.
I- I know--
I know we're not that close,
but...
I don't know. You being married
to the other twisted sister,
I... (chuckles)
I just thought it...
It kinda made us like brothers
or something.
I'd be honored. It's
an honor. Thank you.
You need a bachelor party?
No, no, no.
Even better.
(elevator bell dings)
(siren wailing)
On the, uh,
day of the shooting,
I understand that you had
a particularly difficult day.
On the day I gave birth
to my son,
My husband had a car crash,
and he needed a craniotomy,
And he almost died
on derek shepherd's table.
Now that was
a particularly difficult day.
And at the end of that day,
my son was born,
And my husband lived.
But at the end of this day...
The, uh...
Unh!
(shell casing clatters)
(miranda) no! No!
Um... This day
Was the worst day
of my life.
(ben) miranda.
(gasps)
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--
No, you-- you don't
just sneak up on people. Okay?
You don't--
I got these.
I was, um, I was playing golf.
My phone was off, and I'm...
You know, 18 people got shot,
11 died, one in my arms.
A boy died in my arms,
and you were playing golf.
Okay.
Bailey--
We gotta go.
(tuck babbles)
Well, where--
where you going?
Home, uh, to my mom.
Right?
Yeah? We're gonna go see
grandma?
Yeah, tuck.
Here you go.
When you coming back?
Okay, here, here.
Here's your car.
Miranda, w--
when are you coming back?
(engine turns over)
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay, tuck.
Hmm.
No. No.
M- mom.
You're talking about
slicing his face ihalf,
Breaking his jaw,
cutting his tongue.
It's just--
it just sounds crazy.
I know.
I wish I could offer
some comfort, but honestly,
There's no comfort that can
be offered in this situation.
Let me just say that...
Every medical advancement
started with the statement,
"that sounds crazy."
Let me try.
Donna, let me help.
Okay. Let's try.
Let's... Okay.
Good. Okay.
He could not wake up.
He could... Wake up...
And never be able
to move again.
He could go blind.
He could lose his ability
to speak or to eat.
He could require
around-the-clock care
For the rest of his life.
He could be
in a tremendous amount of pain
For the rest of his life.
He could die on the table.
If that doesn't happen,
if none of those things happen,
He's still facing months
Of excruciatingly painful
recovery from this surgery.
And before
you make a decision,
You need to understand
the risks.
Mm-hmm.
You're driving awfully fast,
dr. Shepherd.
The least you could do
is wear a seat belt.
You've been working.
In the clinic, in the pit.
We haven't been allowed
to operate,
Which makes zero sense
if you ask me.
I'd like to, uh, talk to you
about the incident last week.
She's not my responsibility.
She was your girlfriend.
Well, she's not anymore.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
(indistinct conversations)
Karev,
give me another suture.
My patient
didn't bring her meds.
She doesn't even know
their names.
I- if I give her albuterol
and she's on propanolol,
Then she'll stop breathing.
If-- if I give her warfarin
And she's on ibuprofen, then
she'll-- then she'll bleed out.
If I give her diphenhydramine
and she's on doxepin,
Then she'll die. So do-- do-- do you
think she wants to die? Is she kidding?
Karev, what's going on over there?
I think that she wants to die.
I think
she wants me to kill her.
Do-- do you-- do you--
do you want me to kill you?
Because you--
you could just get a gun,
And it would be a lot faster.
Karev, get her outta here.
You know what? So why doesn't
somebody find a gun... (clattering)
And we'll bring her a gun and
just shoot her... Karev, help her.
I can't step away. Get her out of
here! 'cause she obviously wants to die!
Help! Somebody find her a gun 'cause she
wants to die! I got my own stuff to do.
Somebody find something!
Why did you walk away?
Look, life is too short.
I almost died
trying to stop that guy.
Besides, I mean...
You know how much tail
you get offered
When you're carrying
a bullet around in your chest?
It's like I'm a legend.
Are you, uh...
Always this crass,
Or is that
a defense mechanism?
(pants)
I've had too much crazy
for one lifetime.
(mark) you cleared lexie grey
for surgery?
Dr. Sloan, I'm in--
I'm in session.
I had to check her into psych
last week.
I had to commit her
against her ll!
And you just clear her
for surgery?
What the hell
kind of doctor are you?
It's okay.St clear her
you can talk to him.?
I'll come back.
(mark) yeah, walk away.
You're good at that.
She got snowed.
Psych put her on heavy doses
of antipsychotics and benzos.
And then she slept
for almost 50 hours straight.
When she woke up,
She was no longer a risk
to herself or others.
I mean, she has p.T.S.D.
Most of you do.
For her, it caused
severe sleep deprivation
And led to a breakdown.
All she needed was sleep.
So protocol is
that she goes back to work.
See?
I'm okay.
Really. I'm back.
Clamp.
So how are you?
I hear there's a guy.
Yeah, there's a guy.
Mm. That good?
(laughs) shut up.
(laughs)
I need another clamp.
So... You're getting married.
I am.
I am getting married.
I'm happy for you.
I am, really.
Really?
Yeah.
Thank you. (laughs)
good.
I dig weddings.
I do a mean chicken dance.
Oh, there will be
no chicken dance.
And if you start a conga line,
I will physically throw you out.
(snickers)
I just went to t cafeteria,
And some nurse called me reed
And then said,
"I thought you died."
Yeah, you don't go
to the cafeteria for lunch.
They just point and stare. Is
that why you dyed your hair?
They stare because
we should've died.
Pack a lunch.
Keep it in your locker.
(timbaland with the fray
and esthero) ♪ and make waves ♪
♪ I thought this could be
smooth sailing ♪
(laughs)
(meredith) you are kidding me.
You got cleared? (laughs)
it's down to you and yang.
That is not funny. (cristina)
well, perkins is no dummy.
He can see the crazy right under
the meredith grey surface.
Again, cristina, it's not funny
because you're not
Gonna get cleared either,
and the two of us
Are gonna be serving slushies
at the multiplex.
Really? I'd choose dermatology
over multiplex.
No, I'd go gynecology
over dermatology.
Oh, of course you would.
Perv.
I think I'd go with psych.
♪ 'cause I don't wanna
let you go ♪
That was a joke.
(forced laughter)
that was good.
Ha ha.
(April) that was good.
(meredith)
anyway, I don't know
What perkins' problem is with
me. Maybe he saw your file.
Maybe he knew your mother. Maybe he heard
how you told the shooter to shoot you.
Not funny.
Not a joke.
(meredith stammers)
Dr. Bailey.
Welcome back.
You okay?
♪ I don't wanna cry
every time we try... ♪
I'm happy to see you all.
♪ change the direction ♪
Karev, there's a patient
in 23-04
That needs an endoscopy.
Grey and yang, surely
your paycheck covers more than
Stuffing your face
in the basement.
Get to the clinic now.
And, youwo...
I'm awful sorry
about the loss of your friends.
♪ and everything's coming okay ♪
Thank you.
So are we.
22-13 has a bowel impaction,
And I'm sure as hell not about
to stick my hands in there.
♪ 'cause I don't wanna
let you go ♪
♪ let you go ♪
♪ oh, though we're caught
in the undertow ♪
You, uh,
quit your job this morning.
Should I be worried
about impulsivity?
(laughs)
I didn't quit my job.
Being chief wasn't my job.
I'm a surgeon.
That's what I do.
That is who I am.
But before you got shot--
Oh, I wanted to quit that job
every day before I got shot,
I just didn't have
the guts to do it.
After I got shot, I, uh...
(gasps)
Life is short.
So now I think less and...
So... For you,
the shooting was clarifying?
A l-- a lot of people died
in that shooting.
I'm saying,
in your life today...
A lot of people died.
Meredith went to get
something to eat.
(voice echoes) she should
be back soon. (groans)
(normal voice) um...
I'm sorry I got you shot.
By coming out
of the office--
I didn't listen,
and then you got shot.
I... I got you shot,
And I just need to
say, I am so... April...
So sorry.
Gary clark came here for me.
I gave the order
to pull the plug on his wife.
I got everyone shot.
(semi horns honking)
(wiz khalifa) ♪ hey ♪
♪ don't trip ♪
♪ matter of fact, I got
something you can trip on ♪
♪ I might be
with my girl, girl ♪
♪ so you can bring
your girls, too ♪
♪ I can teach you to fly ♪
♪ I can teach you to fly ♪
♪ I can teach you to fly,
I can teach you to fly ♪
So-- oh!
Is this what I need to do
to get cleared?
(clears throat) dr. Grey,
you're early.
I'll, uh,
I'll call you later.
Yes, please.
Uh...
That was creepy
and inappropriate.
I want a new counselor.
Teddy was never
a- a patient of mine.
She was cleared for surgery
before I got here.
We just met in the cafeteria.
I'm not interested
in your love life.
I don't care how love blooms
over day-old hot dogs.
My husband is about to remove
the largest chordoma on record.
You cleared lexie grey
last week.
You cleared alex karev,
who insists on
Running around the hospital with a bullet
in his chest. I know who I've cleared.
So then why don't you tell me
what you want me to say,
And I'll say it.
Dr. Grey, I don't think
that you're being honest...
With me or yourself.
And I think that's a potentially
dangerous situation.
So what is it
that you're not saying?
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
Who's with derek?
Uh, when I left, um,
mark sloan was with him.
And where's owen?
Um, I don't know.
I- I-I think he's still talking
to the police.
Okay, not a word of this
to derek.
You have to tell owen
because he knows.
Not a word.
Okay.
And April kepner.
She knows, too.
Okay.
Well, go-- go-- go tell them.
Go-- go back to the hospital
and tell them right now.
Don't you want me
to stay for this?
No, I want you to go.
Go and-- and make sure
no one says a word to derek.
Okay. Okay.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
(sighs)
(door closes)
(door opens)
Your friend left?
You want me to wait or...
No, just do it.
The d&c's
pretty straightforward.
The fetus was only
at about 5 weeks.
You'll feel some cramping after,
but it shouldn't be too bad.
(scoffs)
Andrew and I just got busted
by meredith grey.
Callie's watching me sleep.
What?
She's watching me sleep.
And she only watches me sleep
when something is up,
And I'm afraid
that she's gonna propose
Or... Start talking about
making babies again,
Which I'm-- I'm open to,
honestly,
Just not right now,
you know?
And I can feel her watching me,
and it is such hard work
To keep my eyes closed,
but I know that if I open them,
That something loaded is gonna
come out of her beautiful mouth
And pop the pretty pink bubble
that we've been floating in.
You want to pop the bubble.
I don't, though.
Believe me. I've been living
in that bubble for years.
Oh, no. Owen and I?
We're just friends, really.
Finally knowing the truth?
I don't regret that.
My bubble is so pink
and so... Pretty.
(taps pen on counter)
Pop the bubble.
(sighs)
I heard you were looking
for me.
The board officially
reinstated me this morning.
No more "interim chief."
well, I'm glad to hear that.
You sure?
No seller's remorse?
Oh, have you seen
the tumor I'm chasing?
No, no seller's remorse.
You feel good about
this surgery?
That sounds like
a loaded question.
Look, I know perkins cleared
you for surgery. Uh-huh.
And I know better than to
question your judgment, but...
I still have nightmares, and I
go to two a.A. Meetings a day.
I'm not all the way back,
and I didn't gethot.
That's what I mean when I say,
do you feel good about it?
I feel adrenaline.
And, yeah...
The adrenaline feels good.
(chuckles)
(mumford & sons'
"thistle & weeds" playing)
♪ spare me your judgments ♪
♪ and spare me your dreams ♪
♪ 'cause recently mine have been
tearing my seams ♪
♪ I sit alone
in this winter clarity ♪
♪ which clouds my mind ♪
(buzzing)
I can't believe
I'm not down there.
I can't believe I'm not
down there.
♪ corrupted by ♪
♪ the simple sniff
of riches blown ♪
Palate's divided.
Torres.
Yeah. Okay. We're good.
Here we go.
(crackles)
♪ look over your hills ♪
You ever see
anything like this?
I've seen mortar fire that
didn't do this much damage.
♪ rain down, rain down ♪
(mark) all right,
let's bring that microscope in
And get you started.
Everybody ready?
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
(derek) okay.
There's the tumor.
We're there.
Microdissectors, please.
Get up.
No.
Get up.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Let's go.
What is wrong with you?
Everything is wrong.
Derek is decapitating
a teenager,
And April kepner
is assisting,
And you're sitting reading about
lilies of the freakin' valley.
Well, you prefer peonies?
We are not better.
Cristina, a psychiatrist,
given several opportunities,
Has deemed unfit to do my job.
Well, he'll get over it.
Just go back
in a couple of days.
You are not better. Well, in a
couple of days, I'll be better, too.
In a couple of days,
you'll be married.
Are you trying to talk me
out of this?
Look at me
and tell me you're sure.
Okay, you know what? No.
You don't get to do this.
Okay? All you get to do
is help me break the tie
Between the lilies of the valley
and the-- and the peonies.
That's it.
No, I do get to do this.
I mean, derek's the love of my
life, but you're my soul mate.
I do get to do this. I mean,
why can't it wait six months?
Please don't. Don't. Your
flowers aren't going anywhere.
You broke up with him because he couldn't
choose you. Don't-- don't-- don't do this.
Just why does it have to be
right now? You know what I think?
I think you should tell derek about the
miscarriage. We're talking about you.
We're talking about us
not being "better."
Then you need to tell him. He's
not ready. He's-- he's not okay.
Well, you're not okay.
You should tell him.
Well, dr. Yang,
If you don't feel ready,
there's no pressure.
The hospital is prepared
To work with you
in whatever way--
What-- I'm sorry. I-I'm getting
special treatment?
'cause I'm the girl who operated
with a gun to her head?
If you don't want to clear me,
don't clear me.
Well, you didn't show up
for your appointment last week.
You were very late today.
I'm getting married.
I heard that.
Congratulations.
Can I go now?
(chair wheels clatter)
When you think about
going into an o.R.,
How does that make you feel?
God, the women
in these magazines...
(pages rustle)
Some of them are
actually brides, you know?
They're not all models.
All smiling.
It's like the only thing
in the world that matters
Is that they find
the perfect shoe
To match that dress.
(inhales deeply) god, you know,
I knew these girls.
I w-- I went to school
with them.
It's funny.
I used to feel sorry
for them.
They're simple girls.
They just want to find the guy
and get married, you know...
D live.
(magazine pages rustle)
I don't know.
I think
you're eitheborn simple
Or you're born...
Me.
I want to be the person
Who gets happy over finding
the perfect dress.
I want to be simple.
'cause no one holds a gun
to the head of a simple girl.
Stop fixing him!
(crying) owen, help.
(bang)
who is it?
I- it's me. It's owen.
Hey.
(chain rattles)
You're late.
I'm sorry.
Hey.
It's not okay.
Cristina, what is this?
(voice breaks)
I don't want to be alone.
You don't ever
have to be alone again.
I'm not going anywhere,
cristina.
I won't ever leave again.
You hear me?
I am not going anywhere,
cristina...
If you let me stay.
♪
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I was late.
Thank you.
Thank you.
(cries) thank you.
(woman)
♪ the way you want it ♪
♪ nothing plays out ♪
(man speaking indistinctly)
♪ like you saw in your mind ♪
♪ you keep finding out ♪
Miranda, look, um...
♪ it's hard to find a place ♪
Look, um...
♪ just to calm down ♪
I- I was playing golf.
And I-I can't apologize
for it
Because it wasn't anything
I did on purpose.
I- I was just...
♪ you're backed ♪
♪ into the corner ♪
I was playing golf.
♪ hands are tied down ♪
I missed you,
and I just--
You're...
You're a good man.
You are handsome...
And kind... And smart
I mean, you're perfect.
But, um...
I'm... Busy
Holding myself together
with tape and glue.
And a piece of me
wishes that
You hadn't played golf,
because...
(voice breaking) then you'd be
all taped and glued, too.
And maybe you'd be
where I am.
Shh.
I...
♪
(crying) you're...
You're too much for me
right now,
'cause I'm busy
with the tape and the glue.
(whispering) shh. Shh.
All right, all right.
All right.
♪
All right.
♪ mm, mm ♪
♪ you're backed ♪
♪ into the corner ♪
♪ your... ♪
You take care of yourself.
You, too.
♪ you're backed ♪
You, t♪ into the corner ♪
♪ by yourself now ♪
♪ oh, from where ♪
♪ you're standing ♪
♪ you can see it all now ♪
♪ see it all now ♪
♪ you see it all now ♪
You were amazing
in there.
♪.L now ♪
Let's make a baby.
What?
Mm-hmm. Come on.
(clears throat)
Let's do it. Let's start right
now. Let's just pull the goaliew--
(pager beeps)
oh, god.
It's greg. Damn it.
I
- I already gave him 10 of morphine. (crying)
He's in too much pain. I'm gonna
start him on propofol. (screaming)
Greg. I never should've
let you do this.
I never should've let you. All
right, greg. It's dr. Shepherd.
You have to listen to me.
Greg. Greg.
Greg, this is the fight. T.
The pain's gonna stop.
We're gonna help you.
But until it does, this
is your fight. (crying)
The tumor's not driving anymore.
You are.
You're in the driver's seat.
The life that's in your head?
You get if you fight.
(beeping continues)
you got it?
Good. Good.
Donn look, this--
This pain?
Yeah.
It's not a dying pain.
It's a healing pain.
This is a victory pain.
(sobs) okay.
You won.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
We won.
Hey. (chuckles)
(sighs) what? What? I
went out to get some ice.
Oh, don't be mad.
We'll make the wedding.
Aw.
Mm.
I'll make the wedding.
Just wanted to see
you were alive for myself.
Meredith. (chuckles)
♪ blue, babe,
blue, babe ♪
Meredith.
(cell door closes)
♪ blue, baby ♪
(playing discordant notes)
(spoon clatters)
(beer bottle top pops)
you ok hot.
The whole, uh, "crazy eyes,
tight dress" thing,
It's, uh,
it's working for you,
For whatever it's worth.
(beer splashes in bottle)
You think that you are
for wso badass 'cause you lived.
I'm the reason
that you lived.
And while you were dying,
You were crying out
for the wife who left you.
So that's the opposite
of badass,
For whatever it's worth.
(door opens and closes)
I'm jealous.
(sighs)
I think I'm jealous
of hunt and yang.
Mm. You know derek's
gonna be the best man?
We hardly even know the guy.
(sighs)
I'm gonna do it.
You're drunk.
That's why I'm gonna do it.
Lame surgery ran long.
Sorry. What'd I miss?
I have something...
To ask you. Oh, no.
I want you to move in with me.
I love you,
And you have a drawer
and a toothbrush,
And I want you
to have a whole dresser
And a whole... Blow-dryer
Or something...
More romantic than that or...
Something.
You're doing great.
Push through.
(whispers) okay.
(indistinct conversations)
(normal voice) unless you're
just totally hating the idea,
Which...
Would be okay.
Is that it?
Is what it?
You just want me to move in
To a place that I
basically already live?
Mm-hmm.
(whispers) thank god.
(normal voice) yes, yes.
Calliope, yes. I would love
to have a dresser
And a blow-dryer
or something more romantic.
Oh! (laughs)
(laughs)
Oh. How are you doing?
You okay?
Yeah. I'm okay.
Uh, derek?
Uh, I'm sorry.
He's not coming.
Um...
He's my best man.
I know. Do you want
to pick a new one?
Mark looks great in a
suit. Derek had the ring.
I have it.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Are you still good?
Yeah.
Okay.
She is gonna come down
those stairs, right?
I never gave you any crap
about your post-it.
You look beautiful.
I know.
How's owen? Is he good?
Owen's perfect.
He's perfect.
(delta spirit's
"salt in the wound" playing)
Thank you.
♪
When we say things like,
"people don't change,"
It drives scientists crazy...
Because change is literally
The only constant
in all of science.
Thank you.
♪ I wanna disappear ♪
♪ far from the folks... ♪
Energy...
Matter...
It's always changing...
Morphing...
Merging...
♪...Even more ♪
Growing...
Dying.
♪ no one here can tell me ♪
It's the way people try not to
change that's unnatural...
♪...My life ♪
♪ well, this rat race ♪
♪ has left me limping ♪
The way we cling
to what things were
Instead of letting them be
what they are...
♪
The way
we cling to old memories
Instead of forming new ones...
The way
we insist on believing...
Despite every
scientific indication...
That anything
in this lifetime is permanent.
Change is constant.
How we experience change...
That's up to us.
It can feel like death...
Or it can feel like
a second chance at life.
If we open our fingers,
Loosen our grips
Go with it...
♪ and tell myself
that I'm free ♪
It can feel
like pure adrenaline...
♪
Like at any moment...
We can have another chance
at life...
♪ is this just in my head? ♪
♪ well, I'll just stay
in bed ♪
Like at any moment...
♪ ahh ♪
I do.
We can be born
all over again.
♪ ahh ♪
♪ ahh ♪
♪ ahh ♪
---
In our own way,
we shed our skin.
Biologically,
we're brand-new people.
Are you visiting seattle
for the first time?
Oh, no, no.
I live in seattle.
I- I just went home
for a month.
I took my son
to see my parents.
Oh. What do you do
in seattle?
Uh, I'm a surgeon.
Uh, uh, did you know
any of those doctors...
(lowered voice)
from that shooting?
We may look the same.
We probably do.
The change isn't visible...
At least not in most of us.
But we're all changed...
Completely...
Forever.
But that's normal.
I mean, it's a biological
imperative-- change.
So the shooting changed me.
I'm changed.
But I'm also ready
to get back to work.
I mean, as ready
as any of us are
But I'm also ready
sitting around the house,
Waiting...
I just spend my time
worrying.
Your husband was shot.
That's a lot to worry about.
I'm worried about cristina.
She's getting married,
and that's just...
Well, I had to cut her out
of her last wedding dress
With scissors, so...
You watched your husband
get shot.
He's fine. He's coming back
to work today, actually.
(screams inaudibly)
(shell casing clatters)
(monitor emitting
continuous tone)
We're all fine.
(monitor alarm blares)
(pager beeps)
Uh, ex-excuse me.
(beep)
(ss)
Is everything okay,
dr. Grey?
Yes. Yes.
Everything's fine.
(cell door clatters)
(bangs)
(man) opening two.
(buzzer sounds)
it doesn't look too bad.
You just gotta keep
an eye on it,
Make sure it doesn't get
any bigger.
But if it changes color, you
should see a doctor. Dr. Shepherd.
Mm.
Your lady looks pissed.
(buzzer sounds)
Again, derek?
(cell door clangs)
Whew.
(sighs)
(elevator bell dings)
What?
Nothin'.
Just... You're awesome.
(indistinct conversations)
Chief.
Oh, dr. Bailey.
Welcome back.
Thank you, sir.
We missed you here.
The place isn't the... Same.
Mm.
Uh, did you get cleared
for surgery?
What do you mean,
"cleared for surgery"?
Who has to clear me?
(elevator bell dings)
Well, the next time,
I'll leave you there.
You said that already.
Oh, derek got arrested again.
Meredith...
Reckless endangerment.
Please. Did he lose
his license yet?
Oh, no, because they don't
charge him,
Because the cops worship him.
Because I saved
some of their lives.
What are we picking?
Dress color. I'm not
wearing white. Mm.
It's sexist and...
Vaguely racist. Oh.
No white, no veil, no rice.
Well, what will your mother say?
No mother. (sighs) you know, I
didn't get cleared for surgery...
Good morning. And I'm
pretty sure it's your fault.
Meredith, I am the chief. I can
overrule the counselor. You can?
(chuckles) yes.
I love the blue.
Chief shepherd,
you're back. Okay.
Good morning. I find a
giant skull base chordoma.
Biggest one I've ever seen.
Really?
He came in to the e.R. With trouble
breathing. You got cleared for surgery?
I did.
Bitch.
(cristina) I like the brown,
too. I know it looks inoperable.
I mean, I would've said
it was inoperable,
But you're back and
you're you. Right.
Hey, uh, yes, good morning.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
(staff cheers)
Good. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
It's, uh, it's great
to be back. First of all,
I'd like to thank dr. Webber
for stepping up in my absence.
Thank you.
(mouths word)
(staff cheers) uh, I'm grateful for
all of you, for all of your support
During my recovery.
Thank you.
Uh, it's just, uh,
so great to be back as chief.
I'm grateful for the, uh...
(inhales sharply)
I'm sorry. That's a lie.
That's what people say,
and, uh, the truth is...
(man clears throat)
I hate being chief.
I hate it.
(staff murmuring)
Chief webber...
(murmuring continues)
Chief webber is our chief.
Um...
And I'm sorry,
but this giant...
Sorry, I gotta go
look at this crdoma.
I, um, I'm sorry, but...
(chuckles)
I quit.
(staff murmuring)
Let's go, kepner. Come on.
Oh, sorry. Okay.
(laughing)
he just quit.
(continues laughing)
He was supposed to
clear me for surgery.
(murring continues)
(exhales) yeah.
The bullet's at the surface.
That's good.
I can take it out now.
Nah. I mean, if it's not
infected, m gonna keep it.
It's my war wound.
(chuckles)
Besides...
Chicks dig that crap.
(door opens)
(beeps)
(callie sighs)
Oh, my god.
(derek) mm-hmm. Wow.
You weren't kidding.
The last surgeon
broke the dura,
Which enabled the tumor
to mushroom into the brain
And down into the spine. It's
wrapped around his brain stem.
(beep) whatever we do,
we need to do it quickly.
The size of this thing...
Normally I open up the sinuses
or the hard palate.
Well, now you have to
open up both.
You want me to split
his whole face open?
Sinuses, hard palate,
tongue, jaw--
A broken jaw is excruciating,
let alone the rest of it.
Does this kid know
what he's in for?
He wants to live. I don't think
he's concerned about the pain.
Well, but you don't know
how enmeshed the tumor is.
You don't even know if you can
get it all. Thank you, dr. Grey.
(mark) you want to try
this thing, torres and I
Are gonna need to coordinate. What
are we thinking, a week? No later.
I'll clear my schedule.
Welcome back, dr. Shepherd.
Thank you, dr. Torres.
You're not even cleared for
surgery yet. (monitor beeps)
I'll get cleared.
(clears throat)
(reflection eternal
feat. Estelle) ♪ somebody ♪
♪ call my baby,
say I'm on the way now ♪
♪ oh, yeah ♪
♪ say I'm on my way ♪
♪ see I been going crazy ♪
♪ thinking 'bout you
late nights ♪
Hey, hey, hey.
♪ the way my heart reacts,
it lets me know ♪
♪ I need him ♪
♪ baby, I need you, too ♪
♪ see I been getting
flashbacks ♪
(record needle scratches,
music stops)
Uh, dr. Grey. (chuckles)
chief webber.
Yeah, a little--
little exercise.
Okay.
Mm. Something I can
do for you?
Yeah. Um,
that stupid counselor perkins,
He won't clear me
for surgery.
So I was just wondering--
no.
But he cleared--
I'm-- I'm sorry. I am.
But we brought in the best,
And when andrew perkins says
you're not cleared,
Then it's him
you need to talk to.
(sighs)
(sighs)
♪
Yeah, yeah.
Did you hear
That dr. Yang and dr. Hunt
are getting married?
I did.
It's pretty great, huh?
It's almost like
a silver lining.
You know, I-I've read
a lot about trauma
And how, uh,
sometimes people
Just up
and change their lives.
They say that the trauma
Was the best thing
that could've happened to them.
You know, like dr. Shepherd
this morning.
Did you hear
that he's not chief anymore?
And how have you been,
dr. Grey?
You've been through a lot
since I last saw you.
(gunshot)
(andrew) does, uh, anyone
have anything to say?
I know that, uh, a lot of you
Are only here because
this has been mandated.
So let's talk.
Anything at all?
I ate a really good taco
From one of those trucks
by the sidof the road.
En?
Last night. You were asleep.
Which truck? The one on
7th? I want to I like tacos.
(April) me, too.
I read a book...
About the history of
mass murders in the u.S.
That's-- that's the actual name
of what happened to us.
It was a mass murder. You can't
call it a terrorist attack,
Because the murders
weren't political in nature.
And we weren't the victims
of a serial killer,
Because mr. Clark would've
had to murder several people
Over a period longer than
30 days in order tqualify
As a serial killer. We could call
it a spree killing... (gunfire)
Which is defined as killings
at two or more locations
With no break
or pause in between,
Because mr. Clark shot that guy
in his car before he got here.
But I'm not sure that that
counts as a true second location
Since it was so close
to the hospital,
Which means that we were
a mass murder,
Because it happened
at one place, by one person,
And more than four people
were killed.
(object rattles)
(taps fingers on table)
Oh, that was quite a show
this morning.
I didn't plan it.
(chuckles) made it better.
Any regrets?
No. Any regrets about
proposing to cristina?
None.
Getting shot turns out to not be
e worst thing after all.
I need a best man.
I- I know--
I know we're not that close,
but...
I don't know. You being married
to the other twisted sister,
I... (chuckles)
I just thought it...
It kinda made us like brothers
or something.
I'd be honored. It's
an honor. Thank you.
You need a bachelor party?
No, no, no.
Even better.
(elevator bell dings)
(siren wailing)
On the, uh,
day of the shooting,
I understand that you had
a particularly difficult day.
On the day I gave birth
to my son,
My husband had a car crash,
and he needed a craniotomy,
And he almost died
on derek shepherd's table.
Now that was
a particularly difficult day.
And at the end of that day,
my son was born,
And my husband lived.
But at the end of this day...
The, uh...
Unh!
(shell casing clatters)
(miranda) no! No!
Um... This day
Was the worst day
of my life.
(ben) miranda.
(gasps)
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--
No, you-- you don't
just sneak up on people. Okay?
You don't--
I got these.
I was, um, I was playing golf.
My phone was off, and I'm...
You know, 18 people got shot,
11 died, one in my arms.
A boy died in my arms,
and you were playing golf.
Okay.
Bailey--
We gotta go.
(tuck babbles)
Well, where--
where you going?
Home, uh, to my mom.
Right?
Yeah? We're gonna go see
grandma?
Yeah, tuck.
Here you go.
When you coming back?
Okay, here, here.
Here's your car.
Miranda, w--
when are you coming back?
(engine turns over)
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay, tuck.
Hmm.
No. No.
M- mom.
You're talking about
slicing his face ihalf,
Breaking his jaw,
cutting his tongue.
It's just--
it just sounds crazy.
I know.
I wish I could offer
some comfort, but honestly,
There's no comfort that can
be offered in this situation.
Let me just say that...
Every medical advancement
started with the statement,
"that sounds crazy."
Let me try.
Donna, let me help.
Okay. Let's try.
Let's... Okay.
Good. Okay.
He could not wake up.
He could... Wake up...
And never be able
to move again.
He could go blind.
He could lose his ability
to speak or to eat.
He could require
around-the-clock care
For the rest of his life.
He could be
in a tremendous amount of pain
For the rest of his life.
He could die on the table.
If that doesn't happen,
if none of those things happen,
He's still facing months
Of excruciatingly painful
recovery from this surgery.
And before
you make a decision,
You need to understand
the risks.
Mm-hmm.
You're driving awfully fast,
dr. Shepherd.
The least you could do
is wear a seat belt.
You've been working.
In the clinic, in the pit.
We haven't been allowed
to operate,
Which makes zero sense
if you ask me.
I'd like to, uh, talk to you
about the incident last week.
She's not my responsibility.
She was your girlfriend.
Well, she's not anymore.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
(indistinct conversations)
Karev,
give me another suture.
My patient
didn't bring her meds.
She doesn't even know
their names.
I- if I give her albuterol
and she's on propanolol,
Then she'll stop breathing.
If-- if I give her warfarin
And she's on ibuprofen, then
she'll-- then she'll bleed out.
If I give her diphenhydramine
and she's on doxepin,
Then she'll die. So do-- do-- do you
think she wants to die? Is she kidding?
Karev, what's going on over there?
I think that she wants to die.
I think
she wants me to kill her.
Do-- do you-- do you--
do you want me to kill you?
Because you--
you could just get a gun,
And it would be a lot faster.
Karev, get her outta here.
You know what? So why doesn't
somebody find a gun... (clattering)
And we'll bring her a gun and
just shoot her... Karev, help her.
I can't step away. Get her out of
here! 'cause she obviously wants to die!
Help! Somebody find her a gun 'cause she
wants to die! I got my own stuff to do.
Somebody find something!
Why did you walk away?
Look, life is too short.
I almost died
trying to stop that guy.
Besides, I mean...
You know how much tail
you get offered
When you're carrying
a bullet around in your chest?
It's like I'm a legend.
Are you, uh...
Always this crass,
Or is that
a defense mechanism?
(pants)
I've had too much crazy
for one lifetime.
(mark) you cleared lexie grey
for surgery?
Dr. Sloan, I'm in--
I'm in session.
I had to check her into psych
last week.
I had to commit her
against her ll!
And you just clear her
for surgery?
What the hell
kind of doctor are you?
It's okay.St clear her
you can talk to him.?
I'll come back.
(mark) yeah, walk away.
You're good at that.
She got snowed.
Psych put her on heavy doses
of antipsychotics and benzos.
And then she slept
for almost 50 hours straight.
When she woke up,
She was no longer a risk
to herself or others.
I mean, she has p.T.S.D.
Most of you do.
For her, it caused
severe sleep deprivation
And led to a breakdown.
All she needed was sleep.
So protocol is
that she goes back to work.
See?
I'm okay.
Really. I'm back.
Clamp.
So how are you?
I hear there's a guy.
Yeah, there's a guy.
Mm. That good?
(laughs) shut up.
(laughs)
I need another clamp.
So... You're getting married.
I am.
I am getting married.
I'm happy for you.
I am, really.
Really?
Yeah.
Thank you. (laughs)
good.
I dig weddings.
I do a mean chicken dance.
Oh, there will be
no chicken dance.
And if you start a conga line,
I will physically throw you out.
(snickers)
I just went to t cafeteria,
And some nurse called me reed
And then said,
"I thought you died."
Yeah, you don't go
to the cafeteria for lunch.
They just point and stare. Is
that why you dyed your hair?
They stare because
we should've died.
Pack a lunch.
Keep it in your locker.
(timbaland with the fray
and esthero) ♪ and make waves ♪
♪ I thought this could be
smooth sailing ♪
(laughs)
(meredith) you are kidding me.
You got cleared? (laughs)
it's down to you and yang.
That is not funny. (cristina)
well, perkins is no dummy.
He can see the crazy right under
the meredith grey surface.
Again, cristina, it's not funny
because you're not
Gonna get cleared either,
and the two of us
Are gonna be serving slushies
at the multiplex.
Really? I'd choose dermatology
over multiplex.
No, I'd go gynecology
over dermatology.
Oh, of course you would.
Perv.
I think I'd go with psych.
♪ 'cause I don't wanna
let you go ♪
That was a joke.
(forced laughter)
that was good.
Ha ha.
(April) that was good.
(meredith)
anyway, I don't know
What perkins' problem is with
me. Maybe he saw your file.
Maybe he knew your mother. Maybe he heard
how you told the shooter to shoot you.
Not funny.
Not a joke.
(meredith stammers)
Dr. Bailey.
Welcome back.
You okay?
♪ I don't wanna cry
every time we try... ♪
I'm happy to see you all.
♪ change the direction ♪
Karev, there's a patient
in 23-04
That needs an endoscopy.
Grey and yang, surely
your paycheck covers more than
Stuffing your face
in the basement.
Get to the clinic now.
And, youwo...
I'm awful sorry
about the loss of your friends.
♪ and everything's coming okay ♪
Thank you.
So are we.
22-13 has a bowel impaction,
And I'm sure as hell not about
to stick my hands in there.
♪ 'cause I don't wanna
let you go ♪
♪ let you go ♪
♪ oh, though we're caught
in the undertow ♪
You, uh,
quit your job this morning.
Should I be worried
about impulsivity?
(laughs)
I didn't quit my job.
Being chief wasn't my job.
I'm a surgeon.
That's what I do.
That is who I am.
But before you got shot--
Oh, I wanted to quit that job
every day before I got shot,
I just didn't have
the guts to do it.
After I got shot, I, uh...
(gasps)
Life is short.
So now I think less and...
So... For you,
the shooting was clarifying?
A l-- a lot of people died
in that shooting.
I'm saying,
in your life today...
A lot of people died.
Meredith went to get
something to eat.
(voice echoes) she should
be back soon. (groans)
(normal voice) um...
I'm sorry I got you shot.
By coming out
of the office--
I didn't listen,
and then you got shot.
I... I got you shot,
And I just need to
say, I am so... April...
So sorry.
Gary clark came here for me.
I gave the order
to pull the plug on his wife.
I got everyone shot.
(semi horns honking)
(wiz khalifa) ♪ hey ♪
♪ don't trip ♪
♪ matter of fact, I got
something you can trip on ♪
♪ I might be
with my girl, girl ♪
♪ so you can bring
your girls, too ♪
♪ I can teach you to fly ♪
♪ I can teach you to fly ♪
♪ I can teach you to fly,
I can teach you to fly ♪
So-- oh!
Is this what I need to do
to get cleared?
(clears throat) dr. Grey,
you're early.
I'll, uh,
I'll call you later.
Yes, please.
Uh...
That was creepy
and inappropriate.
I want a new counselor.
Teddy was never
a- a patient of mine.
She was cleared for surgery
before I got here.
We just met in the cafeteria.
I'm not interested
in your love life.
I don't care how love blooms
over day-old hot dogs.
My husband is about to remove
the largest chordoma on record.
You cleared lexie grey
last week.
You cleared alex karev,
who insists on
Running around the hospital with a bullet
in his chest. I know who I've cleared.
So then why don't you tell me
what you want me to say,
And I'll say it.
Dr. Grey, I don't think
that you're being honest...
With me or yourself.
And I think that's a potentially
dangerous situation.
So what is it
that you're not saying?
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
Who's with derek?
Uh, when I left, um,
mark sloan was with him.
And where's owen?
Um, I don't know.
I- I-I think he's still talking
to the police.
Okay, not a word of this
to derek.
You have to tell owen
because he knows.
Not a word.
Okay.
And April kepner.
She knows, too.
Okay.
Well, go-- go-- go tell them.
Go-- go back to the hospital
and tell them right now.
Don't you want me
to stay for this?
No, I want you to go.
Go and-- and make sure
no one says a word to derek.
Okay. Okay.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
(sighs)
(door closes)
(door opens)
Your friend left?
You want me to wait or...
No, just do it.
The d&c's
pretty straightforward.
The fetus was only
at about 5 weeks.
You'll feel some cramping after,
but it shouldn't be too bad.
(scoffs)
Andrew and I just got busted
by meredith grey.
Callie's watching me sleep.
What?
She's watching me sleep.
And she only watches me sleep
when something is up,
And I'm afraid
that she's gonna propose
Or... Start talking about
making babies again,
Which I'm-- I'm open to,
honestly,
Just not right now,
you know?
And I can feel her watching me,
and it is such hard work
To keep my eyes closed,
but I know that if I open them,
That something loaded is gonna
come out of her beautiful mouth
And pop the pretty pink bubble
that we've been floating in.
You want to pop the bubble.
I don't, though.
Believe me. I've been living
in that bubble for years.
Oh, no. Owen and I?
We're just friends, really.
Finally knowing the truth?
I don't regret that.
My bubble is so pink
and so... Pretty.
(taps pen on counter)
Pop the bubble.
(sighs)
I heard you were looking
for me.
The board officially
reinstated me this morning.
No more "interim chief."
well, I'm glad to hear that.
You sure?
No seller's remorse?
Oh, have you seen
the tumor I'm chasing?
No, no seller's remorse.
You feel good about
this surgery?
That sounds like
a loaded question.
Look, I know perkins cleared
you for surgery. Uh-huh.
And I know better than to
question your judgment, but...
I still have nightmares, and I
go to two a.A. Meetings a day.
I'm not all the way back,
and I didn't gethot.
That's what I mean when I say,
do you feel good about it?
I feel adrenaline.
And, yeah...
The adrenaline feels good.
(chuckles)
(mumford & sons'
"thistle & weeds" playing)
♪ spare me your judgments ♪
♪ and spare me your dreams ♪
♪ 'cause recently mine have been
tearing my seams ♪
♪ I sit alone
in this winter clarity ♪
♪ which clouds my mind ♪
(buzzing)
I can't believe
I'm not down there.
I can't believe I'm not
down there.
♪ corrupted by ♪
♪ the simple sniff
of riches blown ♪
Palate's divided.
Torres.
Yeah. Okay. We're good.
Here we go.
(crackles)
♪ look over your hills ♪
You ever see
anything like this?
I've seen mortar fire that
didn't do this much damage.
♪ rain down, rain down ♪
(mark) all right,
let's bring that microscope in
And get you started.
Everybody ready?
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
(derek) okay.
There's the tumor.
We're there.
Microdissectors, please.
Get up.
No.
Get up.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Let's go.
What is wrong with you?
Everything is wrong.
Derek is decapitating
a teenager,
And April kepner
is assisting,
And you're sitting reading about
lilies of the freakin' valley.
Well, you prefer peonies?
We are not better.
Cristina, a psychiatrist,
given several opportunities,
Has deemed unfit to do my job.
Well, he'll get over it.
Just go back
in a couple of days.
You are not better. Well, in a
couple of days, I'll be better, too.
In a couple of days,
you'll be married.
Are you trying to talk me
out of this?
Look at me
and tell me you're sure.
Okay, you know what? No.
You don't get to do this.
Okay? All you get to do
is help me break the tie
Between the lilies of the valley
and the-- and the peonies.
That's it.
No, I do get to do this.
I mean, derek's the love of my
life, but you're my soul mate.
I do get to do this. I mean,
why can't it wait six months?
Please don't. Don't. Your
flowers aren't going anywhere.
You broke up with him because he couldn't
choose you. Don't-- don't-- don't do this.
Just why does it have to be
right now? You know what I think?
I think you should tell derek about the
miscarriage. We're talking about you.
We're talking about us
not being "better."
Then you need to tell him. He's
not ready. He's-- he's not okay.
Well, you're not okay.
You should tell him.
Well, dr. Yang,
If you don't feel ready,
there's no pressure.
The hospital is prepared
To work with you
in whatever way--
What-- I'm sorry. I-I'm getting
special treatment?
'cause I'm the girl who operated
with a gun to her head?
If you don't want to clear me,
don't clear me.
Well, you didn't show up
for your appointment last week.
You were very late today.
I'm getting married.
I heard that.
Congratulations.
Can I go now?
(chair wheels clatter)
When you think about
going into an o.R.,
How does that make you feel?
God, the women
in these magazines...
(pages rustle)
Some of them are
actually brides, you know?
They're not all models.
All smiling.
It's like the only thing
in the world that matters
Is that they find
the perfect shoe
To match that dress.
(inhales deeply) god, you know,
I knew these girls.
I w-- I went to school
with them.
It's funny.
I used to feel sorry
for them.
They're simple girls.
They just want to find the guy
and get married, you know...
D live.
(magazine pages rustle)
I don't know.
I think
you're eitheborn simple
Or you're born...
Me.
I want to be the person
Who gets happy over finding
the perfect dress.
I want to be simple.
'cause no one holds a gun
to the head of a simple girl.
Stop fixing him!
(crying) owen, help.
(bang)
who is it?
I- it's me. It's owen.
Hey.
(chain rattles)
You're late.
I'm sorry.
Hey.
It's not okay.
Cristina, what is this?
(voice breaks)
I don't want to be alone.
You don't ever
have to be alone again.
I'm not going anywhere,
cristina.
I won't ever leave again.
You hear me?
I am not going anywhere,
cristina...
If you let me stay.
♪
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I was late.
Thank you.
Thank you.
(cries) thank you.
(woman)
♪ the way you want it ♪
♪ nothing plays out ♪
(man speaking indistinctly)
♪ like you saw in your mind ♪
♪ you keep finding out ♪
Miranda, look, um...
♪ it's hard to find a place ♪
Look, um...
♪ just to calm down ♪
I- I was playing golf.
And I-I can't apologize
for it
Because it wasn't anything
I did on purpose.
I- I was just...
♪ you're backed ♪
♪ into the corner ♪
I was playing golf.
♪ hands are tied down ♪
I missed you,
and I just--
You're...
You're a good man.
You are handsome...
And kind... And smart
I mean, you're perfect.
But, um...
I'm... Busy
Holding myself together
with tape and glue.
And a piece of me
wishes that
You hadn't played golf,
because...
(voice breaking) then you'd be
all taped and glued, too.
And maybe you'd be
where I am.
Shh.
I...
♪
(crying) you're...
You're too much for me
right now,
'cause I'm busy
with the tape and the glue.
(whispering) shh. Shh.
All right, all right.
All right.
♪
All right.
♪ mm, mm ♪
♪ you're backed ♪
♪ into the corner ♪
♪ your... ♪
You take care of yourself.
You, too.
♪ you're backed ♪
You, t♪ into the corner ♪
♪ by yourself now ♪
♪ oh, from where ♪
♪ you're standing ♪
♪ you can see it all now ♪
♪ see it all now ♪
♪ you see it all now ♪
You were amazing
in there.
♪.L now ♪
Let's make a baby.
What?
Mm-hmm. Come on.
(clears throat)
Let's do it. Let's start right
now. Let's just pull the goaliew--
(pager beeps)
oh, god.
It's greg. Damn it.
I
- I already gave him 10 of morphine. (crying)
He's in too much pain. I'm gonna
start him on propofol. (screaming)
Greg. I never should've
let you do this.
I never should've let you. All
right, greg. It's dr. Shepherd.
You have to listen to me.
Greg. Greg.
Greg, this is the fight. T.
The pain's gonna stop.
We're gonna help you.
But until it does, this
is your fight. (crying)
The tumor's not driving anymore.
You are.
You're in the driver's seat.
The life that's in your head?
You get if you fight.
(beeping continues)
you got it?
Good. Good.
Donn look, this--
This pain?
Yeah.
It's not a dying pain.
It's a healing pain.
This is a victory pain.
(sobs) okay.
You won.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
We won.
Hey. (chuckles)
(sighs) what? What? I
went out to get some ice.
Oh, don't be mad.
We'll make the wedding.
Aw.
Mm.
I'll make the wedding.
Just wanted to see
you were alive for myself.
Meredith. (chuckles)
♪ blue, babe,
blue, babe ♪
Meredith.
(cell door closes)
♪ blue, baby ♪
(playing discordant notes)
(spoon clatters)
(beer bottle top pops)
you ok hot.
The whole, uh, "crazy eyes,
tight dress" thing,
It's, uh,
it's working for you,
For whatever it's worth.
(beer splashes in bottle)
You think that you are
for wso badass 'cause you lived.
I'm the reason
that you lived.
And while you were dying,
You were crying out
for the wife who left you.
So that's the opposite
of badass,
For whatever it's worth.
(door opens and closes)
I'm jealous.
(sighs)
I think I'm jealous
of hunt and yang.
Mm. You know derek's
gonna be the best man?
We hardly even know the guy.
(sighs)
I'm gonna do it.
You're drunk.
That's why I'm gonna do it.
Lame surgery ran long.
Sorry. What'd I miss?
I have something...
To ask you. Oh, no.
I want you to move in with me.
I love you,
And you have a drawer
and a toothbrush,
And I want you
to have a whole dresser
And a whole... Blow-dryer
Or something...
More romantic than that or...
Something.
You're doing great.
Push through.
(whispers) okay.
(indistinct conversations)
(normal voice) unless you're
just totally hating the idea,
Which...
Would be okay.
Is that it?
Is what it?
You just want me to move in
To a place that I
basically already live?
Mm-hmm.
(whispers) thank god.
(normal voice) yes, yes.
Calliope, yes. I would love
to have a dresser
And a blow-dryer
or something more romantic.
Oh! (laughs)
(laughs)
Oh. How are you doing?
You okay?
Yeah. I'm okay.
Uh, derek?
Uh, I'm sorry.
He's not coming.
Um...
He's my best man.
I know. Do you want
to pick a new one?
Mark looks great in a
suit. Derek had the ring.
I have it.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Are you still good?
Yeah.
Okay.
She is gonna come down
those stairs, right?
I never gave you any crap
about your post-it.
You look beautiful.
I know.
How's owen? Is he good?
Owen's perfect.
He's perfect.
(delta spirit's
"salt in the wound" playing)
Thank you.
♪
When we say things like,
"people don't change,"
It drives scientists crazy...
Because change is literally
The only constant
in all of science.
Thank you.
♪ I wanna disappear ♪
♪ far from the folks... ♪
Energy...
Matter...
It's always changing...
Morphing...
Merging...
♪...Even more ♪
Growing...
Dying.
♪ no one here can tell me ♪
It's the way people try not to
change that's unnatural...
♪...My life ♪
♪ well, this rat race ♪
♪ has left me limping ♪
The way we cling
to what things were
Instead of letting them be
what they are...
♪
The way
we cling to old memories
Instead of forming new ones...
The way
we insist on believing...
Despite every
scientific indication...
That anything
in this lifetime is permanent.
Change is constant.
How we experience change...
That's up to us.
It can feel like death...
Or it can feel like
a second chance at life.
If we open our fingers,
Loosen our grips
Go with it...
♪ and tell myself
that I'm free ♪
It can feel
like pure adrenaline...
♪
Like at any moment...
We can have another chance
at life...
♪ is this just in my head? ♪
♪ well, I'll just stay
in bed ♪
Like at any moment...
♪ ahh ♪
I do.
We can be born
all over again.
♪ ahh ♪
♪ ahh ♪
♪ ahh ♪