Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 6, Episode 7 - Give Peace a Chance - full transcript
When Isaac, the hospital lab tech, has an inoperable tumor wrapped around his spine, he turns to Dr. Derek Shepherd to do the impossible, and Derek tests the Chief's authority when Richard objects to moving forward with the risky surgery.
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---
ask most surgeons why they became surgeons
and they usually tell you the same thing--
it was for the high,the rush,the thrill that comes
from cutting someone open and saving their life.
For me,it was different.
Take care of yourself today.
Okay. Maybe it's because I grew
up in a house with four sisters--
no,definitely because I grew up
in a house with four sisters--
but it was the quiet
that drew me to surgery.
How you doing?
Fine.
Why,did meredith say something to you?
She mentioned you were a little down
about the merger,lack of a cardio god.
Your wife isead.As soon as her
liver grows back,she's dead.
Be glad she did.That's why
I put you on my service.
You need a god?Neuro god right here.
Godly?Your entire day consists
of putting shunts in people.
Today?Temporal lobectomy.
...our schedule for several months now.
Hospitals across the country have
reported substantial savings...
how bad is it today?
The chief's implementing a computer model
for scheduling our surgeries from now on.
Something about efficiency and progress.
And to make sure this was the right decision,I have
enlisted one of our own to do a trial run for the last month.
dr. Sloan.
I know what you're all thinking.
It's a machine.It doesn't know
me.It doesn't know what I like.
But after using this new system for the
past month,I gotta say,people,I'm a convert.
This computer knows me
better than I know me.
Chief,this thing has rearranged
my schedule for the entire week.
I mean,haven't we had
enough change here already?
Change is good,everyone.
Embrace it.
You two need to stop
bickering.It's unattractive.
The operating room is
a quiet place,peaceful.
It has to be in order for us to
stay alert,anticipate complications.
- Your ass is in my way.
-I was in the O.R.
All night sewing a hang glider's
intestines back together.
- I'm kinda sore.
-I kinda don't care.
move.
hey,alex.I just got a call from swender's office
that izzie has an I.L.-2 treatment this week
that she hasn't called back to confirm.
- And? = And,um... she's
your wife,who could die.
She'll show up.
She's a crappy wife,but
she's not an idiot.
Okay,uh,well,it's-- it's
thursday at 10:00,so you know.
Don't worry.Being ditched by
cancer wife won't change my mind.
You're still a douche.
When you stand in the O.R.,Your
patient open on the table...
all the world's noise,all
the worry that it brings...
disappears.
dr. Shepherd.
Isaac,if you don't stop calling me dr.
Shepherd,I'm seriously gonna have to cut you off.
- I have your scans,derek.
- I didn't order any scans.
I think they're for a consult,but
I can come back if you're busy.
No,it's okay.
A calm settles over you,time
passing without thought...
for that moment,you
feel completely at peace.
It's a tumor on the spinal
cord,possibly a hemangioblastoma.
You've seen one before?
Not this big.
You see how the tumor has
worked its way up the spine?
It's taken over the blood supply.
It's a perfect tumor.
You know if the patient
still has leg function?
- Yes
-Incredible.
He shouldn't be walking.He
should be paralyzed,dead.
- You'd have to operate quickly,then,to take the tumor out?
- I'd love to operate on this.
But,no.
No,you have to cut the cord,paralyze
the patient,to kill the tumor.
Who's thdoctor on this one?
You.
I'm sorry?
These are my scans.
The tumor is mine.
I'd like you to take it out.
I'd like you to try.
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greys
anatomy season 6Episode07
One doctor said it was bad
circulation,another one,pinched nerve.
But when the pain started to interfere with
work,I decided to run an M.R.I. On myself.
isaac,had I known this was
your scan,I wouldn't have--
I have been to every doctor,derek.
Every time,it's the same thing.
They look at the tumor and
ey're defeed.But not you.
You were inspired.
That's why I know I was
right to come and work here.
I needed to meet you.
You got a job here to meet me?
I have researched every
neurosurgeon in this country.
I know their statistics,I know who wins the most
prizes,but I also know who takes the most risks.
That's you.
Isaac,I know you believe I can take
this tumor out,and I wish I could.
But this surgery will kill you.
Take the scans.Look them over.
But stop your mind before
the part where it gets to "no.
" Think "yes." Yes?
shepherd,I've been paging
you.Shunt patient,O.R. Two.
On that.
You know what this is about,right?
You're no longer daddy's favorite,so y've gone in
search of some crazy ass tumor to get his love back.
Actually,it's about my patient.
I haven't made up my
mind yet.I'm just looking.
- Isaac has a cord tumor?
- Oh,it's awesome.Look.
Awesome in a bad way.It's
eaten five levels of his spine.
Wait,you're not seriously
considering trying to take it out?
Of course he is.He's shepherd.
It's a bad caseof telephone,right?Isaac's
got a bone spur or a herniated disk,not A...
he diagnosed an osteosarcoma
case for me a month ago.
I thought it was a shadow,but it turned out
to be the tiniest little lesion on an x-ray.
That says more about
you than it does him.
I'm sorry.Do you even know who isaac is?
No idea.
Hey,what's everyone... oh,a spinalumor.
I read about a case at mayo
where the surgery took 17 hours.
The head surgeon had four rotating
assistants,one of whom just administered fluids.
Okay,you know what?Don't try
and lexopedia your way on this.
This is my tumor.
What happened to the patient at mayo?
He died.That's why
it only took 17 hours.
Hey,I just heard.Isaac
has an inoperable tumor?
- It's isaac's tumor?-
Okay,yeah,yeah.O-hoo,okay?
- Who says it's inoperable?
- Cristina.
oh,come on.It's all the way up to t-2.
see,this is why is got into plastics.
- oh,that's gotta be...
- why aren't you all at your surgeries?
Go,get to your O.R.S. Don't
screw with my schedule day one.
I-I ha--I haven't
made a decision.
No rush.I'm a patient man.
Everyone said you'd found the great white
of tumors,but just had to see it for myself.
And now that you have?
You want my flow attending answer
or my fellow surgeon answer?
Fellow surgeon.
This tumor idangerous...
complicated... and smart... beautiful.
This tumor is the reason I got
into medicine in the first place.
To successfully take out this tumor would be an achievement
you could hang your hat on for the rest of your career.
you could retire on this tumor.
I wouldn't go near it.It's a beast.
It's a malpractice suit waiting to happen,even
if we could get his insurance to cover it.
Did I mention he was an employee?
Our pro bono budget can't cover high-risk
surgeries for every employee in this hospital.
- We're not a charity.
- What happened to you?
- Excuse me?
- There was a time you would've convinced me to do this surgery
but now your first instinct is no.
- Happened to you?
- You came to me as the chief of surgery and I said no.
As for my medical
opinion,it is still no.
- There is such a thing as an inoperable tumor,derek.
- What if it's not?
- What if I get in there,I open it
up,I look around-- there iso way.
Anything other than cutting
the cord would kill this man.
I don't know how many
times you want me to say it.
You are not operating
on an inoperable tumor.
It's a tough job,derek.You
sure you still want it?
so what did you do?
I scheduled the rgery.
I'm taking out the tumor.
is about precision.
The microscope changes
your perspective radically.
The hand-eye coordination required can
be learned,but right now,I need naturals.
Each one of you will get a chance to
guide this pen through the hole in the cup.
The person who makes a mark closest to the president's
nose and doesn't hit the side of the cup gets to scrub in.
Who wants to go first?
take your time.
Do over?No do overs.
Way to go,two.
Really concentrate.Take your time.
Next.
Here you go.Take your time.
'Ve got nothing but time.
No.Ne.Somebody,please.
Well off the mark.
- get out.
- How did you get into this program?
Next.Next.Next.Next.Next.Disappointed.
I'm so disappointed.
Here we go.
Nicely done.
If somebody improves on
that,I'll be out of a job.
Well,I guess you might
need to retire,then.
okay.
Okay.
dr. Avery,you'll be scrubbing in.
word on the O.R.Floor is
that you've gone rogue.
I'm doing a surgery I fully believe in.
To piss off the chief.
Since when did richard
become your B.F.F.?
He's not my B.F.F.
- He's the chief.
- For now.
Have you gone rogue?
I'm doing a surgery I believe in.
Against the chief's orders.He'll
freak when he finds out.
There is a computer schedule saying
that I'm doing craniotomies all day.
- He is not gonna find out.
- No.Don't say anymore.
'Cause me,the chief,secrets?bad idea.
Hey,I think it is badass.
Come on.Let's go.
Should I be offended?
Because I've bn trying to come up with a good reason
why you paged every resident to the skills lab but me.
Me.Your sister.Your sister,derek.
I think you're on my service.
Little grey,I didn't page you
because I have another job for you.
You gave me the idea,actually.
I need somebody in the O.R.Who's gonna remind
me to take breaks,to bend my legs,to drink water.
I will be your patient,essentially.
You want me to be your doctor?
If dr. Sloan's okay with you
giving up his services,of course.
You love me,and this is a
once-in-a-lifetime tumor.
Go get your,uh,rogue on.
You're nervous,right,about
being in there thalong?
Me,too.
What do you have to be nervous
about?Shepherd didn't even let you compete.
No.That's-- that's because he needs me
to maintain his while we're in there.
I'm his doctor,basically.
So you fell for that?
'Cause,I mean,it sounds-- it
sounds more like you're his bitch.
What no.
I'm--that--is-- I'm--I'mot-- you're
gonna need to take a break eventually
and--and--and you're
gonna need to stretch.
You're gonna need to pee.
And when you do... I'll
be there to take over.
Yeah,I don't-- I
don't take breaks.
you seriously think you're
gonna last all day in there?
I've done it before,yeah.
But that's because I know how to stop
taking fluids before a long surgery.
Have fun playing nurse.
I mean,it sounds... neat.
I don't know,I think izzie had it right.
You know,get fired,run away,die...
mer,I gotta call you back.
Is that what I think it is?
a diaper?
It's for the surgery.
Please don't tell anybody about this.
That's genius.You never have to leave
the O.R.You can hydrate all you want.
You're mocking me.
Fine.Whatever.It's not like
I was gonna use it anyway.
Of course you are.
This is the definition of hard-core.
You're like an astronaut.This is
surgery nasa-style.You know what?
You put it on right now.
I'll guard the door.
anybody opens their
mouth and they're fired.
You,too.
Oh,dr. Shepherd,I was just describing our
new schedule to some of our board members.
This must be... mrs. Taylor.
And she's undergoing a craniotomy.
- It's mr.It'S...
- we're,uh,still working out a few kinks,clearly.
Should go.Keep the trains running
on time.Nice meeting you all.
Isaac,if I get in there and it
looks too dangerous to remove,
the responsible thing
is to close you back up.
No,don't close me up.
If you get in and if it's
too complicated,cut the cord.
Paralyze me if you must.
- I survived a war.Did you know that?
- No.
I survived a war where they put bodies into
mass graves where there's once a playground.
I survived the death of my family--
my parents,myrothers and sisters.
Then I survived the death of my we and child
when they starved to death in the refugee camp.
I survived the loss of my country,of
hearing my mother tongue spoken,
of knowing what it feels like
to have a place to call home.
I survived.
And I will survive the loss of my legs.
If I have to,I'll survive it.Okay?
But,derek.Yes?
There is always a way.
When things look like
there's no way,there is a way.
To do the impossible,to survive the
unsurvivable-- there's always a way.
And you?
You and i have this in common.
We're inspired.
In the face of the
impossible,we're inspired.
So if I can offer one piece of advice
to the world's foremost neurosurgeon...
today if you become frightened...
instead become inspired.
Okay.
I'm ready now.
Put me to sleep.
- 1 hour,13 minutes on the surgical clock.
- the dura's opened.
Let's get our first look at the tumor.
That's,um...
The vessels are more intricate
than the M.R.I.Showed.
There's no way I can get the tumor out
without rupturing one and killing the cord.
So,uh,what do we do?
If I start t-2,I could avoid hitting the
feeding vessels,so maybe I should go lower?
- There's less vascularity around t-7,so that
does seem better,- no it does seem better.
And you'd only get function
loss below the chest.
But I risk rupturing the
anterior spinal artery there.
Probably.The tumor r* mejor arriba?
Higher is better maybe?
Either way,I risk sending
him into hemodynamic collapse.
he's not talking to us,is he?
Not at all.
T-2 shows less potential for bleeding.
At t-3,the vessels have... increased.
I'm sorry about the contest.
Who told you about that?
No one.I just-- well,I overheard
people talking in the pit.
- it sounded hard.
- Well,it wasn't hard.
It was a moment
of-- you know what?
We--we don't have
to discuss it.
Watching lexie in a diaper
is punishment enough.
Wh-what?lexie is wearing what?
well,that-- that is a reason you should
be glad that you're not down there.
No,that is the reason
I want to be down there.
- What?
- Lexie gets to pee in a diaper,and I don'T.
You--you wanted to
pee in the diaper?
I want to have to pee in a diaper,to
be in a surgery so difficult and so long
that my only option is to
put on a diaper and pee in it.
are they just gonna let him
stare at the thing all day?
He hasn't made a single cut.
If I clip the draining veins without
getting the feeders,they'll burst.
dr. Shepherd,I really think it's
time for you to take a break.
It's been er 8 hours.
I could go under the tumor here,but
I might cut the radicular artery.
- Let's look for,maybe
if I go...- dr. Shepherd--
- du,if you need a break,just take a break.
- Please.I don't need one.
I'm hard-core.
Are--are you
wearing a diaper?
Shut up.
- At least bend your legs.
You can't bring yourself
to use it,can you?
Shut up!Shut the hell up.
Grey,I don't need a
break.If you do,take one.
Either of you open your mouths
again,you're out of the O.R.
Throom break.
- Um,dr. Shepherd.
- What?!
Okay,I'm sure this is a completely authorized
surgery,but I thought you might like to know
that the chief is scheduled to do a
surgery across the hl in O.R.Three shortly.
So if you're planning on doing
something,anything,you might want to do it soon.
Thank you,dr. Bailey.
stevens.
Izzie stevens.
I-I know she's not at home.
You have to try her cell.
Fine.
Just--no.
Tomorrow at 10:00.Don't
cancel it.She'll be there.
what?
You missed the contest this morning.
Oh,the one you tanked?
Whatever.
Shepherd has assigned us to round
on his canceled craniotomies.
And as much as I'd rather watch his
ser-secret surgery from the gallery,
I can handle it myself if you want
to,you know,deal with your izzie stuff.
I respected you more when you called
her cancer wife.At least it was honest.
I'm trying to be human here,alex.
You think if I'm not there,you
might get to do some big,bad neuro,
and telshep herd you did isolo,which,by
the way,makes you the douche.
You know what? I tried.Go ahead.
Throw away your marriage.
I will be rounding.
I'll be rounding.
this is why you don't go rogue.
Look at him. He's cracked.
I coulda told you this was gonna happen.
Don't be smug.This is one of
our people's lives at stake.
Oh,this is so depressing.
Ten hours staring into his spine,and
he can't figure out what to do.
What did you just say?
What?No,I
didn't-- did I?
I didn't--
robbins?
dr. Shepherd.
dr. Shherd.
Am I to understand that you canceled your
surgeries today to operate on a spinal cord tumor?
dr. Shepherd.
The rate of infection for this patient is
increasing every second you keep him open.
Not to mention the thousands of dollars
you are wasting standing here doing nothing.
So I am demanding that
you close this man up.
Close him up and relinquish
the O.R.Right now,derek.
Okay.
That's it.Let's close him up.
there was no way of taking it
out without risking your life.
And to cut the cord at this
point,I just-- I won't do it.
You're still walking,isaac.Let's
reassess this in a few months.
- I understand.You worked hard today.You're tired.
- I'm sorry.
- You'll try again tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
No,I can't try again.
The tumor is inoperable.
I can't fix this.
Go home.Sleep on it.
We'll talk more tomorrow.
I don't understand.
There's nothing to understand.I
stood there for ten hours,staring.
In the O.R.?You stood for
ten hours and did nothing?
Yeah.Okay.Let's talk about you now.
- How was your day?
- My day?
Oh,my day was-- you know,I-I slept,and
I ate an entire box of cereal.
I left three voice mails for izzie.
I'm sure she won't return any of them.
I started and gave up on "anna
karenina" for the fifteenth time.
You want to talk about the tumor?
I do,please.Just admit
it.I'm a surgery junkie.
It was more vascular
than the M.R.I. Showed.
- But you were able to do the decompression?
- Yes.
But you weren't able to
find a plane to dissect?
No plane.It was just... there
was no path,nothing distinct.
- Well,why?
- Because it was just... it... you know what?
I have an idea.
What are you doing?
Just watch and learn.
Okay. The tumor is here.
Now you've completely lost your mind.
T-7.It goes all
the way up to t-2.
- You're drawing on the wall.
- Open up the posterior column.
It's chaos.
I didn't know what vessel was
connected to the tumor or to the cord.
So what I did was...
start here,the anterior spinal artery
could rupture.The cord could die.
Here,you risk catching the
radicular artery under the tumor.
The cord dies.
But why not just cut the draining
veins at the top,expose the arteries?
The draining veins are very thin.
You slip up,they burst.He leaves my O.R. A
quadriplegic.I might as well cut the cord.
- Which you didn't do.
- No.
Even though isaac said you could,even
though you knew it would save his life.
Well,he still has function in his legs.
No,but what I mean is,you
didn't cut the cord.
You stood in the.R. For ten hours.
You knew the chief would stop you.
Anybody else would've,and you didn'T.
So there must be a reason why.
this patient understands
what cutting the cord means?
The loss of function in
both legs and possibly more?
We have to cut the cord to kill
the tumor.There's no other way.
okay. That'll only take an hour or two.
You can have O.R. One.
Hunt needs it right after
so he'll have enough time.
- Thank yo
- good luck.
- we're not cutting the cord.
- We're not?
The mistake I made yesterday
was that I wanted a plan.
There can be no plan.
I just have to pick a point and cut.
But what you said yesterday,if--if
you cut an artery or hit the cord...
isaac wants us to take the risk.
He wants a cure,and it's our job to try.
See you in the O.R.
This is bad.This is really,really bad.
Are you kidding?No one at
mercy west was this badass.
This isn't badass.
This--this is... okay,you
saw him yesterday.
He was spinning himself in-- in
circles,mumbling like some crazy psych patient.
And he was mean.
Hey,I wore a diaper yesterday,yes.
And I will wear one today.
If it helps get dr. Shepherd through this surgery,I
will wear a diaper,'cause my diaper is awesome.
My diaper is hard-core.
You wish you had the
balls to wear my diaper.
I'm gonna wear it,and I'm
gonna wear it with pride.
And if I have to pee in it,oh,I'll
pee,because I am a surgeon.
This is america,and I will
do what needs to be de.
So you can kiss my
hard-core,diaper-wearin' ass.
You woke me from a
nap.This better be good.
Napping during the day?
Actually,that is good.You're
gonna need the rest.
A redo retroperitoneal sarcoma?
That's like a 12-hour surgery.
Yeah,15 if things get ugly.
Go,gear up.
- ah,dr. Hunt.
- Yeah.
***
- hey,uh,cristina...-
no.N-no.
Sh-shepherd needs the O.R.
I put on a diaper.
Okay.I've gotten the plane.
Ready to make our first cut.
I heard you needed some support.
You need people to talk
to-- experienced surgeons.
And you can't say no because I'm in
charge,and this is what I'm prescribing.
Thank you,dr. Grey.Okay.
Let's start.
Making the first cut.
what,did you--
you paralyze him?
No. One vessel down. Settle in.
We have many more to go.
I still hear some wheezing,so let's
start you on another breathing treatment.
dr. Karev,could i see you for a minute?
I'm a little busy.
dr. Karev,it's important.
You need to go.It's past 10:00.
You're checking your watch every five
seconds.You're distracted.Just go.
I'll finish up here.
Shut the hell up.
Alex,come here.
You don't even know me,so why are
you all up in my face about this?
Because there is a girl sitting down there
on the third floor waiting for her guy.
She doesn't want to see me,okay?
She bailed.She didn't even tell
me to my face.She left a note.
So stop trying to act likeyou know anything
about it,and let me get back to my job,okay?
Look,if you are sure about
that,then fine.Don't go.
But you better be 100% sure
thathe's not hoping that you show up,
because right now,you
are making a choice.
You,not her.
So you better be at peace with that.
I've cleared a path at t-5.
- And if I continue along this plane,I--
M.E.P.Tracing's losing amplitude.
- What just happened?
-A vessel burst.It might have been connected to the cord.
- But if there's not enough blood reaching the
cord-- I could've just paralyzed our patient,yes.
Suction,please.
Suction.
oh,no.
what,cristina?What is it?
Easy. Careful.More suction.
- There's too much blood.
- We're losing him.
I should've just cut the
cord.This is too risky.
Wait.It's back.
Amplitude's up.
so the cord didn't stroke
out?You didn't paralyze him?
The vessel was connected
to,the,uh,tumor.
We're okay.
Nice work,derek.
Thanks.
- dr. Shepherd?
- Take off my mask.
What?
Take off my mask.
Take off my mask!
Get in there.
Take a breath and get back
in there.You can do this.
You really should drink something.
- I'm fine.
- You're not fine.
You're dehydrated and you're stressed.
You really should drink something.
- I said I'm fine.
- Drink the water.
I said drink it!
- dr. Hunt.
- Uh,chief.
Shouldn't you be in O.R. One?
Yes,actually,but I,uh,swapped with
torres.She has an emergency laparotomy.
dr. Torres is doing a laparotomy?
What am I doing?
What?I just heard my name.
chief... he didn't cut the cord.
Bailey will stop him.She's at the door.
Bailey's in the O.R.With shepherd.
Then who's at the door?Oh god.
- Move.
- No.
- dr. Robbins--
I said no.
dr. Shepherd is operating on the
inside of man's spinal cord right now.
Even the most minor disturbance could
cause him to make a mistake on that patient,
a patient who happens to work here and whose life
I personally would like to see dr. Shepherd save.
So no,you don't get to go
in there and be a bully.
Okay,I totally thought
that was gonna end diffe.
yeah,more like that.
dr. Bailey,care to fill us in?
No,I would not.
Becae anything outside of
this O.R. Is not your concern.
Your only concern is this patient.
Now keep going.
- damn it.
- What is it?
I can't tell which one of these vessels
feeds the cord and which one feeds the tumor.
I have to do a blind cut.
Like a trip wire?
If I cut the wrong one,the
entire cord strokes out.
okay,we'll come back to this later.
Later?So you could finish the entire
surgery only to cut the wrong one?
This will all have been for nothing?
Exactly.But thanks
for pointing that out.
how many inches left?
Uh,less than 2.
So if I do my math,we got,uh,four
or five more hours ahead.
- Crap.Oh,crap. Oh,crap. Oh,crap.
- What is it?
It's my hand.It's cramping.Damn
it don't mo.Don't ve.
B.P.'S dropping.
Okay,we're touching the cord.
- If we disturb it any more,we
run-- pulse is down to 52.
- It's getting worse,guys.It's--
easy,easy.Don't move.Easy.
- Don't move.Just take it easy.
- Okay,it's okay.Just stay still.
I'm--I'm going
to reach in.
hey,close your eyes and breathe.
Okay?It's just a spasm.
B.P.'S back up.100 over 68.
- Have you had anything to drink today,dr. Aver
- what?
Muscle cramps are a sign of dehydration.
You went without fluids so dr. Grey
couldn't get her hands on the retractor.
Isn't that right?
I,uh... sorry. Sorry.
Don't apologize,just step
aside.dr. Grey,take over.
- Easy.
- Got it.
- Easy.
- Okay.
"A" or "b"?
dr. Grey... "a" or "b"?
You're done?You got it all out?
Except for the blind cut.
I just have to pick
one,and we're good to go.
"A" or "b"?
- You're kidding.
- You're stalling.
dr. Avery?
I don't like to gamble.
dr. Sloan?
What,so you can blame it on
me for the rest of your life?
This is all you.
Right.My call.Great.
- He's deciding which one to cut.
- Guessing which one.
There's no logical
way to make that call.
I-I-I can't--
I can't look.I...
oh,my god,mer,this is so good.
- If he hollers-- are you
playing eeny,meeny,miny,moe?
yeah.
- No.
- yeah.
It's a baddea?
let's see.
okay.
okay.
ask most surgeons why
they became surgeons,
they usually tell
you the same thing--
the high,the rush,the thrill of the cut.
For me,it was the quiet.
Come on,shepherd.
Oh,my god.Oh,my god.Oh,my god.
please don't be wrong.
Okay.
he cut. He made the cut.
Cristina,was it the right one?
Cristina? Tell me.Cristina?
No. Oh,no,no,no,no,no,no. no.
- Isaac,what is it?
- I can..
I can move my toes.
- It didn't work,did it? You couldn't do it?
- No,no.
We got the tumor.
It's gone.
But I can move my toes.
Yeah,because we saved the cord.
It was a successful surgery.
You're gonna be fine.
I knew you would try,but...
- I'm going to be okay?
- Yes.
- I'm actually going to be okay?
- Yes.
you're a good man,derek.
You're a very good man.
Peace... isn't a permanent state.
It exists in moments... fleeting...
gone before we even knew it was there.
Shepherd finished the surgery.
And I took care of all the pre-ops.
So we're good to go.
She didn't show.
she can't be this stupid.
I mean,it--it saved her life.
The I.L.-2 saved her life...
and she didn't show up.
she... she didn't show up.
who doest show up? ...
we can experience it at any time...
in the stranger's act of kindness...
a task that requires complete focus...
you're standing too close.
- No,I'm not.
- Yes,you are. I'll show you.
You? Look at your hands.
They're hams. Mine are
tiny little geniuses.
It's not about the hands.
It's about the body.
You know,it's your stance...
tilt of your
head-- there--
and... your eye line.
If you stand too close,you
throw everything else off.
good. Go again.
or simply the comfort
of an old routine.
we can't keep doing this,richard.
I'm tired of fighting you.
Let's try and put this
behind us and move on.
I can... if you can.
You're fired.
Immediately. Get the
hell out of my hospital.
Go home. Sleep on it.
We'll talk more tomorrow.
Every day,we all experience
these moments of peace.
The trick is to know when they're
happening so that we can embrace them,
live in them...
Okay,so I've heard almost
everything from cristina,
but I want to hear your version.
So start from the beginning
and tell me everything.
derek? Derek?
And finally let them go.
-=bbs.sfileydy.com/bbs=-Sync:
YTET- ?????
---
ask most surgeons why they became surgeons
and they usually tell you the same thing--
it was for the high,the rush,the thrill that comes
from cutting someone open and saving their life.
For me,it was different.
Take care of yourself today.
Okay. Maybe it's because I grew
up in a house with four sisters--
no,definitely because I grew up
in a house with four sisters--
but it was the quiet
that drew me to surgery.
How you doing?
Fine.
Why,did meredith say something to you?
She mentioned you were a little down
about the merger,lack of a cardio god.
Your wife isead.As soon as her
liver grows back,she's dead.
Be glad she did.That's why
I put you on my service.
You need a god?Neuro god right here.
Godly?Your entire day consists
of putting shunts in people.
Today?Temporal lobectomy.
...our schedule for several months now.
Hospitals across the country have
reported substantial savings...
how bad is it today?
The chief's implementing a computer model
for scheduling our surgeries from now on.
Something about efficiency and progress.
And to make sure this was the right decision,I have
enlisted one of our own to do a trial run for the last month.
dr. Sloan.
I know what you're all thinking.
It's a machine.It doesn't know
me.It doesn't know what I like.
But after using this new system for the
past month,I gotta say,people,I'm a convert.
This computer knows me
better than I know me.
Chief,this thing has rearranged
my schedule for the entire week.
I mean,haven't we had
enough change here already?
Change is good,everyone.
Embrace it.
You two need to stop
bickering.It's unattractive.
The operating room is
a quiet place,peaceful.
It has to be in order for us to
stay alert,anticipate complications.
- Your ass is in my way.
-I was in the O.R.
All night sewing a hang glider's
intestines back together.
- I'm kinda sore.
-I kinda don't care.
move.
hey,alex.I just got a call from swender's office
that izzie has an I.L.-2 treatment this week
that she hasn't called back to confirm.
- And? = And,um... she's
your wife,who could die.
She'll show up.
She's a crappy wife,but
she's not an idiot.
Okay,uh,well,it's-- it's
thursday at 10:00,so you know.
Don't worry.Being ditched by
cancer wife won't change my mind.
You're still a douche.
When you stand in the O.R.,Your
patient open on the table...
all the world's noise,all
the worry that it brings...
disappears.
dr. Shepherd.
Isaac,if you don't stop calling me dr.
Shepherd,I'm seriously gonna have to cut you off.
- I have your scans,derek.
- I didn't order any scans.
I think they're for a consult,but
I can come back if you're busy.
No,it's okay.
A calm settles over you,time
passing without thought...
for that moment,you
feel completely at peace.
It's a tumor on the spinal
cord,possibly a hemangioblastoma.
You've seen one before?
Not this big.
You see how the tumor has
worked its way up the spine?
It's taken over the blood supply.
It's a perfect tumor.
You know if the patient
still has leg function?
- Yes
-Incredible.
He shouldn't be walking.He
should be paralyzed,dead.
- You'd have to operate quickly,then,to take the tumor out?
- I'd love to operate on this.
But,no.
No,you have to cut the cord,paralyze
the patient,to kill the tumor.
Who's thdoctor on this one?
You.
I'm sorry?
These are my scans.
The tumor is mine.
I'd like you to take it out.
I'd like you to try.
-=bbs.sfileydy.com/bbs=-Sync:
YTET- ?????
greys
anatomy season 6Episode07
One doctor said it was bad
circulation,another one,pinched nerve.
But when the pain started to interfere with
work,I decided to run an M.R.I. On myself.
isaac,had I known this was
your scan,I wouldn't have--
I have been to every doctor,derek.
Every time,it's the same thing.
They look at the tumor and
ey're defeed.But not you.
You were inspired.
That's why I know I was
right to come and work here.
I needed to meet you.
You got a job here to meet me?
I have researched every
neurosurgeon in this country.
I know their statistics,I know who wins the most
prizes,but I also know who takes the most risks.
That's you.
Isaac,I know you believe I can take
this tumor out,and I wish I could.
But this surgery will kill you.
Take the scans.Look them over.
But stop your mind before
the part where it gets to "no.
" Think "yes." Yes?
shepherd,I've been paging
you.Shunt patient,O.R. Two.
On that.
You know what this is about,right?
You're no longer daddy's favorite,so y've gone in
search of some crazy ass tumor to get his love back.
Actually,it's about my patient.
I haven't made up my
mind yet.I'm just looking.
- Isaac has a cord tumor?
- Oh,it's awesome.Look.
Awesome in a bad way.It's
eaten five levels of his spine.
Wait,you're not seriously
considering trying to take it out?
Of course he is.He's shepherd.
It's a bad caseof telephone,right?Isaac's
got a bone spur or a herniated disk,not A...
he diagnosed an osteosarcoma
case for me a month ago.
I thought it was a shadow,but it turned out
to be the tiniest little lesion on an x-ray.
That says more about
you than it does him.
I'm sorry.Do you even know who isaac is?
No idea.
Hey,what's everyone... oh,a spinalumor.
I read about a case at mayo
where the surgery took 17 hours.
The head surgeon had four rotating
assistants,one of whom just administered fluids.
Okay,you know what?Don't try
and lexopedia your way on this.
This is my tumor.
What happened to the patient at mayo?
He died.That's why
it only took 17 hours.
Hey,I just heard.Isaac
has an inoperable tumor?
- It's isaac's tumor?-
Okay,yeah,yeah.O-hoo,okay?
- Who says it's inoperable?
- Cristina.
oh,come on.It's all the way up to t-2.
see,this is why is got into plastics.
- oh,that's gotta be...
- why aren't you all at your surgeries?
Go,get to your O.R.S. Don't
screw with my schedule day one.
I-I ha--I haven't
made a decision.
No rush.I'm a patient man.
Everyone said you'd found the great white
of tumors,but just had to see it for myself.
And now that you have?
You want my flow attending answer
or my fellow surgeon answer?
Fellow surgeon.
This tumor idangerous...
complicated... and smart... beautiful.
This tumor is the reason I got
into medicine in the first place.
To successfully take out this tumor would be an achievement
you could hang your hat on for the rest of your career.
you could retire on this tumor.
I wouldn't go near it.It's a beast.
It's a malpractice suit waiting to happen,even
if we could get his insurance to cover it.
Did I mention he was an employee?
Our pro bono budget can't cover high-risk
surgeries for every employee in this hospital.
- We're not a charity.
- What happened to you?
- Excuse me?
- There was a time you would've convinced me to do this surgery
but now your first instinct is no.
- Happened to you?
- You came to me as the chief of surgery and I said no.
As for my medical
opinion,it is still no.
- There is such a thing as an inoperable tumor,derek.
- What if it's not?
- What if I get in there,I open it
up,I look around-- there iso way.
Anything other than cutting
the cord would kill this man.
I don't know how many
times you want me to say it.
You are not operating
on an inoperable tumor.
It's a tough job,derek.You
sure you still want it?
so what did you do?
I scheduled the rgery.
I'm taking out the tumor.
is about precision.
The microscope changes
your perspective radically.
The hand-eye coordination required can
be learned,but right now,I need naturals.
Each one of you will get a chance to
guide this pen through the hole in the cup.
The person who makes a mark closest to the president's
nose and doesn't hit the side of the cup gets to scrub in.
Who wants to go first?
take your time.
Do over?No do overs.
Way to go,two.
Really concentrate.Take your time.
Next.
Here you go.Take your time.
'Ve got nothing but time.
No.Ne.Somebody,please.
Well off the mark.
- get out.
- How did you get into this program?
Next.Next.Next.Next.Next.Disappointed.
I'm so disappointed.
Here we go.
Nicely done.
If somebody improves on
that,I'll be out of a job.
Well,I guess you might
need to retire,then.
okay.
Okay.
dr. Avery,you'll be scrubbing in.
word on the O.R.Floor is
that you've gone rogue.
I'm doing a surgery I fully believe in.
To piss off the chief.
Since when did richard
become your B.F.F.?
He's not my B.F.F.
- He's the chief.
- For now.
Have you gone rogue?
I'm doing a surgery I believe in.
Against the chief's orders.He'll
freak when he finds out.
There is a computer schedule saying
that I'm doing craniotomies all day.
- He is not gonna find out.
- No.Don't say anymore.
'Cause me,the chief,secrets?bad idea.
Hey,I think it is badass.
Come on.Let's go.
Should I be offended?
Because I've bn trying to come up with a good reason
why you paged every resident to the skills lab but me.
Me.Your sister.Your sister,derek.
I think you're on my service.
Little grey,I didn't page you
because I have another job for you.
You gave me the idea,actually.
I need somebody in the O.R.Who's gonna remind
me to take breaks,to bend my legs,to drink water.
I will be your patient,essentially.
You want me to be your doctor?
If dr. Sloan's okay with you
giving up his services,of course.
You love me,and this is a
once-in-a-lifetime tumor.
Go get your,uh,rogue on.
You're nervous,right,about
being in there thalong?
Me,too.
What do you have to be nervous
about?Shepherd didn't even let you compete.
No.That's-- that's because he needs me
to maintain his while we're in there.
I'm his doctor,basically.
So you fell for that?
'Cause,I mean,it sounds-- it
sounds more like you're his bitch.
What no.
I'm--that--is-- I'm--I'mot-- you're
gonna need to take a break eventually
and--and--and you're
gonna need to stretch.
You're gonna need to pee.
And when you do... I'll
be there to take over.
Yeah,I don't-- I
don't take breaks.
you seriously think you're
gonna last all day in there?
I've done it before,yeah.
But that's because I know how to stop
taking fluids before a long surgery.
Have fun playing nurse.
I mean,it sounds... neat.
I don't know,I think izzie had it right.
You know,get fired,run away,die...
mer,I gotta call you back.
Is that what I think it is?
a diaper?
It's for the surgery.
Please don't tell anybody about this.
That's genius.You never have to leave
the O.R.You can hydrate all you want.
You're mocking me.
Fine.Whatever.It's not like
I was gonna use it anyway.
Of course you are.
This is the definition of hard-core.
You're like an astronaut.This is
surgery nasa-style.You know what?
You put it on right now.
I'll guard the door.
anybody opens their
mouth and they're fired.
You,too.
Oh,dr. Shepherd,I was just describing our
new schedule to some of our board members.
This must be... mrs. Taylor.
And she's undergoing a craniotomy.
- It's mr.It'S...
- we're,uh,still working out a few kinks,clearly.
Should go.Keep the trains running
on time.Nice meeting you all.
Isaac,if I get in there and it
looks too dangerous to remove,
the responsible thing
is to close you back up.
No,don't close me up.
If you get in and if it's
too complicated,cut the cord.
Paralyze me if you must.
- I survived a war.Did you know that?
- No.
I survived a war where they put bodies into
mass graves where there's once a playground.
I survived the death of my family--
my parents,myrothers and sisters.
Then I survived the death of my we and child
when they starved to death in the refugee camp.
I survived the loss of my country,of
hearing my mother tongue spoken,
of knowing what it feels like
to have a place to call home.
I survived.
And I will survive the loss of my legs.
If I have to,I'll survive it.Okay?
But,derek.Yes?
There is always a way.
When things look like
there's no way,there is a way.
To do the impossible,to survive the
unsurvivable-- there's always a way.
And you?
You and i have this in common.
We're inspired.
In the face of the
impossible,we're inspired.
So if I can offer one piece of advice
to the world's foremost neurosurgeon...
today if you become frightened...
instead become inspired.
Okay.
I'm ready now.
Put me to sleep.
- 1 hour,13 minutes on the surgical clock.
- the dura's opened.
Let's get our first look at the tumor.
That's,um...
The vessels are more intricate
than the M.R.I.Showed.
There's no way I can get the tumor out
without rupturing one and killing the cord.
So,uh,what do we do?
If I start t-2,I could avoid hitting the
feeding vessels,so maybe I should go lower?
- There's less vascularity around t-7,so that
does seem better,- no it does seem better.
And you'd only get function
loss below the chest.
But I risk rupturing the
anterior spinal artery there.
Probably.The tumor r* mejor arriba?
Higher is better maybe?
Either way,I risk sending
him into hemodynamic collapse.
he's not talking to us,is he?
Not at all.
T-2 shows less potential for bleeding.
At t-3,the vessels have... increased.
I'm sorry about the contest.
Who told you about that?
No one.I just-- well,I overheard
people talking in the pit.
- it sounded hard.
- Well,it wasn't hard.
It was a moment
of-- you know what?
We--we don't have
to discuss it.
Watching lexie in a diaper
is punishment enough.
Wh-what?lexie is wearing what?
well,that-- that is a reason you should
be glad that you're not down there.
No,that is the reason
I want to be down there.
- What?
- Lexie gets to pee in a diaper,and I don'T.
You--you wanted to
pee in the diaper?
I want to have to pee in a diaper,to
be in a surgery so difficult and so long
that my only option is to
put on a diaper and pee in it.
are they just gonna let him
stare at the thing all day?
He hasn't made a single cut.
If I clip the draining veins without
getting the feeders,they'll burst.
dr. Shepherd,I really think it's
time for you to take a break.
It's been er 8 hours.
I could go under the tumor here,but
I might cut the radicular artery.
- Let's look for,maybe
if I go...- dr. Shepherd--
- du,if you need a break,just take a break.
- Please.I don't need one.
I'm hard-core.
Are--are you
wearing a diaper?
Shut up.
- At least bend your legs.
You can't bring yourself
to use it,can you?
Shut up!Shut the hell up.
Grey,I don't need a
break.If you do,take one.
Either of you open your mouths
again,you're out of the O.R.
Throom break.
- Um,dr. Shepherd.
- What?!
Okay,I'm sure this is a completely authorized
surgery,but I thought you might like to know
that the chief is scheduled to do a
surgery across the hl in O.R.Three shortly.
So if you're planning on doing
something,anything,you might want to do it soon.
Thank you,dr. Bailey.
stevens.
Izzie stevens.
I-I know she's not at home.
You have to try her cell.
Fine.
Just--no.
Tomorrow at 10:00.Don't
cancel it.She'll be there.
what?
You missed the contest this morning.
Oh,the one you tanked?
Whatever.
Shepherd has assigned us to round
on his canceled craniotomies.
And as much as I'd rather watch his
ser-secret surgery from the gallery,
I can handle it myself if you want
to,you know,deal with your izzie stuff.
I respected you more when you called
her cancer wife.At least it was honest.
I'm trying to be human here,alex.
You think if I'm not there,you
might get to do some big,bad neuro,
and telshep herd you did isolo,which,by
the way,makes you the douche.
You know what? I tried.Go ahead.
Throw away your marriage.
I will be rounding.
I'll be rounding.
this is why you don't go rogue.
Look at him. He's cracked.
I coulda told you this was gonna happen.
Don't be smug.This is one of
our people's lives at stake.
Oh,this is so depressing.
Ten hours staring into his spine,and
he can't figure out what to do.
What did you just say?
What?No,I
didn't-- did I?
I didn't--
robbins?
dr. Shepherd.
dr. Shherd.
Am I to understand that you canceled your
surgeries today to operate on a spinal cord tumor?
dr. Shepherd.
The rate of infection for this patient is
increasing every second you keep him open.
Not to mention the thousands of dollars
you are wasting standing here doing nothing.
So I am demanding that
you close this man up.
Close him up and relinquish
the O.R.Right now,derek.
Okay.
That's it.Let's close him up.
there was no way of taking it
out without risking your life.
And to cut the cord at this
point,I just-- I won't do it.
You're still walking,isaac.Let's
reassess this in a few months.
- I understand.You worked hard today.You're tired.
- I'm sorry.
- You'll try again tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
No,I can't try again.
The tumor is inoperable.
I can't fix this.
Go home.Sleep on it.
We'll talk more tomorrow.
I don't understand.
There's nothing to understand.I
stood there for ten hours,staring.
In the O.R.?You stood for
ten hours and did nothing?
Yeah.Okay.Let's talk about you now.
- How was your day?
- My day?
Oh,my day was-- you know,I-I slept,and
I ate an entire box of cereal.
I left three voice mails for izzie.
I'm sure she won't return any of them.
I started and gave up on "anna
karenina" for the fifteenth time.
You want to talk about the tumor?
I do,please.Just admit
it.I'm a surgery junkie.
It was more vascular
than the M.R.I. Showed.
- But you were able to do the decompression?
- Yes.
But you weren't able to
find a plane to dissect?
No plane.It was just... there
was no path,nothing distinct.
- Well,why?
- Because it was just... it... you know what?
I have an idea.
What are you doing?
Just watch and learn.
Okay. The tumor is here.
Now you've completely lost your mind.
T-7.It goes all
the way up to t-2.
- You're drawing on the wall.
- Open up the posterior column.
It's chaos.
I didn't know what vessel was
connected to the tumor or to the cord.
So what I did was...
start here,the anterior spinal artery
could rupture.The cord could die.
Here,you risk catching the
radicular artery under the tumor.
The cord dies.
But why not just cut the draining
veins at the top,expose the arteries?
The draining veins are very thin.
You slip up,they burst.He leaves my O.R. A
quadriplegic.I might as well cut the cord.
- Which you didn't do.
- No.
Even though isaac said you could,even
though you knew it would save his life.
Well,he still has function in his legs.
No,but what I mean is,you
didn't cut the cord.
You stood in the.R. For ten hours.
You knew the chief would stop you.
Anybody else would've,and you didn'T.
So there must be a reason why.
this patient understands
what cutting the cord means?
The loss of function in
both legs and possibly more?
We have to cut the cord to kill
the tumor.There's no other way.
okay. That'll only take an hour or two.
You can have O.R. One.
Hunt needs it right after
so he'll have enough time.
- Thank yo
- good luck.
- we're not cutting the cord.
- We're not?
The mistake I made yesterday
was that I wanted a plan.
There can be no plan.
I just have to pick a point and cut.
But what you said yesterday,if--if
you cut an artery or hit the cord...
isaac wants us to take the risk.
He wants a cure,and it's our job to try.
See you in the O.R.
This is bad.This is really,really bad.
Are you kidding?No one at
mercy west was this badass.
This isn't badass.
This--this is... okay,you
saw him yesterday.
He was spinning himself in-- in
circles,mumbling like some crazy psych patient.
And he was mean.
Hey,I wore a diaper yesterday,yes.
And I will wear one today.
If it helps get dr. Shepherd through this surgery,I
will wear a diaper,'cause my diaper is awesome.
My diaper is hard-core.
You wish you had the
balls to wear my diaper.
I'm gonna wear it,and I'm
gonna wear it with pride.
And if I have to pee in it,oh,I'll
pee,because I am a surgeon.
This is america,and I will
do what needs to be de.
So you can kiss my
hard-core,diaper-wearin' ass.
You woke me from a
nap.This better be good.
Napping during the day?
Actually,that is good.You're
gonna need the rest.
A redo retroperitoneal sarcoma?
That's like a 12-hour surgery.
Yeah,15 if things get ugly.
Go,gear up.
- ah,dr. Hunt.
- Yeah.
***
- hey,uh,cristina...-
no.N-no.
Sh-shepherd needs the O.R.
I put on a diaper.
Okay.I've gotten the plane.
Ready to make our first cut.
I heard you needed some support.
You need people to talk
to-- experienced surgeons.
And you can't say no because I'm in
charge,and this is what I'm prescribing.
Thank you,dr. Grey.Okay.
Let's start.
Making the first cut.
what,did you--
you paralyze him?
No. One vessel down. Settle in.
We have many more to go.
I still hear some wheezing,so let's
start you on another breathing treatment.
dr. Karev,could i see you for a minute?
I'm a little busy.
dr. Karev,it's important.
You need to go.It's past 10:00.
You're checking your watch every five
seconds.You're distracted.Just go.
I'll finish up here.
Shut the hell up.
Alex,come here.
You don't even know me,so why are
you all up in my face about this?
Because there is a girl sitting down there
on the third floor waiting for her guy.
She doesn't want to see me,okay?
She bailed.She didn't even tell
me to my face.She left a note.
So stop trying to act likeyou know anything
about it,and let me get back to my job,okay?
Look,if you are sure about
that,then fine.Don't go.
But you better be 100% sure
thathe's not hoping that you show up,
because right now,you
are making a choice.
You,not her.
So you better be at peace with that.
I've cleared a path at t-5.
- And if I continue along this plane,I--
M.E.P.Tracing's losing amplitude.
- What just happened?
-A vessel burst.It might have been connected to the cord.
- But if there's not enough blood reaching the
cord-- I could've just paralyzed our patient,yes.
Suction,please.
Suction.
oh,no.
what,cristina?What is it?
Easy. Careful.More suction.
- There's too much blood.
- We're losing him.
I should've just cut the
cord.This is too risky.
Wait.It's back.
Amplitude's up.
so the cord didn't stroke
out?You didn't paralyze him?
The vessel was connected
to,the,uh,tumor.
We're okay.
Nice work,derek.
Thanks.
- dr. Shepherd?
- Take off my mask.
What?
Take off my mask.
Take off my mask!
Get in there.
Take a breath and get back
in there.You can do this.
You really should drink something.
- I'm fine.
- You're not fine.
You're dehydrated and you're stressed.
You really should drink something.
- I said I'm fine.
- Drink the water.
I said drink it!
- dr. Hunt.
- Uh,chief.
Shouldn't you be in O.R. One?
Yes,actually,but I,uh,swapped with
torres.She has an emergency laparotomy.
dr. Torres is doing a laparotomy?
What am I doing?
What?I just heard my name.
chief... he didn't cut the cord.
Bailey will stop him.She's at the door.
Bailey's in the O.R.With shepherd.
Then who's at the door?Oh god.
- Move.
- No.
- dr. Robbins--
I said no.
dr. Shepherd is operating on the
inside of man's spinal cord right now.
Even the most minor disturbance could
cause him to make a mistake on that patient,
a patient who happens to work here and whose life
I personally would like to see dr. Shepherd save.
So no,you don't get to go
in there and be a bully.
Okay,I totally thought
that was gonna end diffe.
yeah,more like that.
dr. Bailey,care to fill us in?
No,I would not.
Becae anything outside of
this O.R. Is not your concern.
Your only concern is this patient.
Now keep going.
- damn it.
- What is it?
I can't tell which one of these vessels
feeds the cord and which one feeds the tumor.
I have to do a blind cut.
Like a trip wire?
If I cut the wrong one,the
entire cord strokes out.
okay,we'll come back to this later.
Later?So you could finish the entire
surgery only to cut the wrong one?
This will all have been for nothing?
Exactly.But thanks
for pointing that out.
how many inches left?
Uh,less than 2.
So if I do my math,we got,uh,four
or five more hours ahead.
- Crap.Oh,crap. Oh,crap. Oh,crap.
- What is it?
It's my hand.It's cramping.Damn
it don't mo.Don't ve.
B.P.'S dropping.
Okay,we're touching the cord.
- If we disturb it any more,we
run-- pulse is down to 52.
- It's getting worse,guys.It's--
easy,easy.Don't move.Easy.
- Don't move.Just take it easy.
- Okay,it's okay.Just stay still.
I'm--I'm going
to reach in.
hey,close your eyes and breathe.
Okay?It's just a spasm.
B.P.'S back up.100 over 68.
- Have you had anything to drink today,dr. Aver
- what?
Muscle cramps are a sign of dehydration.
You went without fluids so dr. Grey
couldn't get her hands on the retractor.
Isn't that right?
I,uh... sorry. Sorry.
Don't apologize,just step
aside.dr. Grey,take over.
- Easy.
- Got it.
- Easy.
- Okay.
"A" or "b"?
dr. Grey... "a" or "b"?
You're done?You got it all out?
Except for the blind cut.
I just have to pick
one,and we're good to go.
"A" or "b"?
- You're kidding.
- You're stalling.
dr. Avery?
I don't like to gamble.
dr. Sloan?
What,so you can blame it on
me for the rest of your life?
This is all you.
Right.My call.Great.
- He's deciding which one to cut.
- Guessing which one.
There's no logical
way to make that call.
I-I-I can't--
I can't look.I...
oh,my god,mer,this is so good.
- If he hollers-- are you
playing eeny,meeny,miny,moe?
yeah.
- No.
- yeah.
It's a baddea?
let's see.
okay.
okay.
ask most surgeons why
they became surgeons,
they usually tell
you the same thing--
the high,the rush,the thrill of the cut.
For me,it was the quiet.
Come on,shepherd.
Oh,my god.Oh,my god.Oh,my god.
please don't be wrong.
Okay.
he cut. He made the cut.
Cristina,was it the right one?
Cristina? Tell me.Cristina?
No. Oh,no,no,no,no,no,no. no.
- Isaac,what is it?
- I can..
I can move my toes.
- It didn't work,did it? You couldn't do it?
- No,no.
We got the tumor.
It's gone.
But I can move my toes.
Yeah,because we saved the cord.
It was a successful surgery.
You're gonna be fine.
I knew you would try,but...
- I'm going to be okay?
- Yes.
- I'm actually going to be okay?
- Yes.
you're a good man,derek.
You're a very good man.
Peace... isn't a permanent state.
It exists in moments... fleeting...
gone before we even knew it was there.
Shepherd finished the surgery.
And I took care of all the pre-ops.
So we're good to go.
She didn't show.
she can't be this stupid.
I mean,it--it saved her life.
The I.L.-2 saved her life...
and she didn't show up.
she... she didn't show up.
who doest show up? ...
we can experience it at any time...
in the stranger's act of kindness...
a task that requires complete focus...
you're standing too close.
- No,I'm not.
- Yes,you are. I'll show you.
You? Look at your hands.
They're hams. Mine are
tiny little geniuses.
It's not about the hands.
It's about the body.
You know,it's your stance...
tilt of your
head-- there--
and... your eye line.
If you stand too close,you
throw everything else off.
good. Go again.
or simply the comfort
of an old routine.
we can't keep doing this,richard.
I'm tired of fighting you.
Let's try and put this
behind us and move on.
I can... if you can.
You're fired.
Immediately. Get the
hell out of my hospital.
Go home. Sleep on it.
We'll talk more tomorrow.
Every day,we all experience
these moments of peace.
The trick is to know when they're
happening so that we can embrace them,
live in them...
Okay,so I've heard almost
everything from cristina,
but I want to hear your version.
So start from the beginning
and tell me everything.
derek? Derek?
And finally let them go.
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