Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 6, Episode 18 - Suicide Is Painless - full transcript

dying isn't easy.

The body was designed
to stay alive...

Thick skulls...

Strong hearts...

Keen senses.

Morning.

Morning. Mm.

And when the body
starts to fail...

Medicine takes over.

Morning, kim, sean.
How are you feeling?

Ready.



Today is the day.

How are you doing?

Okay.

Surgeons are arrogant enough
to think...

There's no o we can't save.

Hey, you need a consult?
Uh, kim allan.

She had stage iv
large cell lung cancer.

I removed a second mass
from her right lung

About two months ago,
but her tests had showed that

The cancer had spread to her
lymph nodes and to her liver.

She was readtted last week
with pulmonary edema.

I drained as much fluid
as i could,

But she is still having
a tough time breathing.

That's too bad. You gonna
have to intuba her?
She doesn't want that.



You're gonna have to
treat her palliatively.

I don't see what else
we can do for her.

She wants us
to help her die.

Like i said,
dying isn't easy.

Since the state requires
two physicians' signatures,

I've asked dr. Hunt
toook over your chart.

Okay.

Her prognosis says that she has
less than six months to live.

I have informed her
of her treatment options.

She has met with a psychologist
who has determined

That she is mentally fit.

And this can serve
as her second oral request.

Okay.

You have to say it.

Washington state says i have to
hear you ask two times

At least 15 days apart.

it's so weird.
It's like i'm applying to die.

Well, if you're having
second thoughts--

You saw how bad
it got last night.

It's just gonna get worse.

I would like to end my life

Through
physician-Assisted suicide.

Excuse me. Um...

I-I'm just gonna go see
what up.

Dr. Altman.

How long does it take...

To die...
once i take the barbiturates?

Can we not
talk about this?

It's just, um...

We're not there yet.

We are there, sean.

we are.

Kim,
to answer your question...

About 45 minutes.

It takes about 45 minutes
to die.

Three dates, no sex.
Just talking.

Do you have any idea how much
you can learn about someone

If you remain upright?

Like i'll bet you didn't know
teddy hates the word "moist."

Hates it. Would really prefer
people say "damp."

You hear me?

I'm growing again.
I'm, like, grown.

She's making cartilage
from scratch.

She's a little preoccupied
these days. It's super hot.

Aughs)
i'm gonna be late.

Bye.

She doesn't want kids.

Arizona doesn't want kids--
In her womb, in her house, ever.

She told me.
What did you say?

Nothing. I mean,
we're doing so great.

I don't want to ruin it

By being the crazy, desperate
girl with the aching womb.
Better than being
the crazy, childless woman

Who sits out at the playground
watching the children pl.

They have laws
for people like that.

You gotta tell her.

All rit,
so in the third quarter,

The collection rate of medicaid
was what percent again?

Hey. Would you excuse me
one second?

You have 30 seconds.

Okay, so this woman comes in to
the e.R. With abdominal pain.

She's had it off and on
for about six months.
Mm-Hmm.

And a lot of doctors
have told her

It's either an ulcer
or gastritis.
All right, get to the point.
You have 15 seconds.

Okay, so it occurs to me that
the nausea is probably caused

By a positional shift--
C.S.F. Okay.
Brain tumor. Got it.

Right, but not just
any brain tumor.

I mean, she's got this huge,
beautiful ependymoma.

So shadow shepherd--
Dr. Nelson.

Okay, shadow shepherd
is going to do

An intraventricular
resection...
mm-Hmm.

And let me assist, and i may
even get to debulk the tumor.
That's it?

Okay.
Sorry for the interruption.

So where were we? Percentage,
third quarter of medicaid--

What was the rate of return?

how close?

Two minutes.
It's nicole, right?

Three guys
waiting on an ambulance?

Must be nicole
behind the wheel.
Have you seen her ass?

Man, i'd love to hit that.

Morning, chief.

Sorry about that, chief.
I--

That's quite all right.
And, um, i'm not the chief.

hey, nicole.
Hey.

Nick kelsey, 32, injured
skiing off a helicopter.

Vital signs are stable.
It wasn't the helicoer
that did it.

It was the avalanche.
Idiotic either way.

He's got two idiot friends
coming in behind him,

But he's got
the worst of it--

Open fracture to the left tibia
and left hip fracture.

What areou looking at,
chachi?

(Woman speaking indistinctly
over p.A.)

Whatappened? We were
in the middle of a consult.

You're her doctor. You shouldn't
be pushing her to do that.

I offered her options.
I told her about hospice.

She doesn't want to die
a slow death

Hooked up to machines

Or be so heavilyedated,
she might as well be dead.

And i have to say,
i don't blame her.

This is an act of mercy.
Oh, "an act of mercy"?
You are killing her.

Just so that you are clear,

By writing that prescrtion,
you are killing that woman.

All right, then.

I'll find someone else.

Watch it. Watch it.
Heads up!

You need to work on
your passing game, hunt...
oh, yeah?

You ball hog.
Well, you need
work on your game!

owen,
on your four!
Oh!

Go! Go! Go, go, go!
not a chance, major!

Get it! Get it! Get it!
okay, watch out,
watch out, watch out!

go! Go! I got him.
I got him.
Whoo!

Whoo-Hoo-Hoo!
Yeah...

Okay, break it up, break it up.
Break it up, you two.

We're only down by 3.
Oh, yeah, 'cause you suck.

insubordinate.
Oh, sir,ou suck, sir.

I mean, dan. Come on, it's true.
You play like my grandma.
Whatever.

Get your battle rattle.
It's time to go to work.

Owen, come on.

I need to reduce
this ankle dislocation.

Give him 10 of morphine.
I need to treat
his frostbite.

Nick, you like
the tips of your fingers?
Yes, please.

You jumped out
of a helicopter on skis?
Yeah. You can't get powder
like that anywhere else.

I'm seeing fluid
around your kidney.

We're gonna need to do
a c.T. Of your abdomen.
Do what you gotta do.

Me and the guys
are running with the bulls

In pamplona next year.
Gotta be up on my feet.

Hey, phil!

Tell those doctors
they need to fix you up

You're an active guy.
With the bulls next year.
Once a year anyhow.
Better tn thing.

Once a year, we live like men.
You almost died like men.

On my count.
One, two... three.

big ass car bomb
waxed half their unit.

They tried to evac,

But it turned into
an insurgent firefight.
G.S.W. To the abdomen.

Let's stabilize him
till we get him to an o.R.

Get me some wet bandages
and an occlusive dressing.
All ouof those!

okay, uh, some wet towels
and, uh...

That.

We'll close him with this.

Gekko, give me that roll
of 2-Inch tape.

I need a laryngoscope, an e.T.
Tube. I need to intubate.

Okay, finish this.
yes, sir.
I'm on it.

pupils fixed and dilated.

He's way past go.
Who's next?
over here, sir.

Colonel mooney, sir.
Sandstorm's coming.

Command's ordered us
to move back.
You're kidding me. When?

Now, sir.

All right.
People, secure your patients.

I almost have
my guy stabilized.
You'll ride with him
on the medevac.

Take my amputation
and the head trauma, too.

Hunt, we'll take your g.S.W.
In the a.P.C.

Let's move.
You want me to go?

No, i'm fine.
You hate helicopters.

I know. I'm fine.

I'll see you back there.

See you back there.

shall we scan him first?

(Man speaking indistinctly
over p.A.)

see what kind
of damage we're dealing with

In case we need an o.R.?

He's got
some abdominal bruising.

Yeah, yeah, okay.
You--You take .

Uh, get him up to c.T.
right away, doctor.

Hey, how come you didn't
get hurt in the avalanche?
Oh, i never got off
the helicopter.

I was about toump
when the avalanche started.

You missed it, tommy.
It was friggin' awesome.

yeah, tommy,
friggin' awesome!

Yeah, tommy.
Friggin' awe.

Uh, dr. Altman
said you requested

To lower your pain meds.

They make me fuzzy.

I don't want
to be fuzzy today.

Did she tell you?

That you're going home?
Yeah.

Oh, i changed my mind.
What?

No, no, not about...
i just...

I want to do it here...
in the hospital.

I don't want sean to have to
deal with my body afterwards.

Don't worry
about that stuff.

We can make this place
like home, you know?

Get rid of all these machines

And... get some of
our stuff--

My quilt, some pictures...
mm-Hmm.

Some wine.

Can we have wine?

I don't see why not.

If you need wine...
i don't.

Then maybe you don't
really want--
I don't need wine.
I want the wine.

But i think
you're gonna need it.

You seem scared.

Are you scared?

Stoporing about me.
All these things
are happening,

And i'm making
all these choices,

And i have no idea
how you're feeling.

I'm not feeling anything.

Sean, i'm talking about
where i'm gonna die.

You have to be
feeling something.

I'll go home
and get the stuff, all right?

Sean.

Red or white?

red.

In a wine glass,
not a plastic cup.

Okay.

It never changes.

You have the same fights.

I mean, even when you're dying,
you have the same fits.

You want to know
how they're feeling,

And they don't want
to tell you.

sorry. I'm--

Don't be.

I think they don't know.

You know, when you ask them
how they're feeling,

And they don't want
to tell you,

And you think
they're being difficult?

I think
they really don't know.

Relax.

Deep bredeep breaths.
Good.

(Woman speaking indistinctly
over p.A.)

Where do you stand on
physicians'-Assisted suicide?

Well, i'm not opposed to it.
Good.

And as long as we're talking
about the controversial stuff,

Let's get something straight--

Arena football
is not real football.

Obviously--
Mark, mark, wait. This is not
me getting to know you.

This is... i have a patient
who's terminal.

She wants to die
and she wants my help,

And i want yours.

See that?

The tur's pressing down

On the floor
of the fourth ventricle,

Which is causing the nausea.
So you debulk the tumor,

And then you move on
to the stalk--

No. You debulk the tumor.

dr. Shepherd
has requested these scans.

His schedule has freed up.

He's decided to do
the resection himself.

Oh, no! Th's my--
I am debulking. It's my tumor.

It's dr. Shepherd's tumor now.

Dr. Hunt,
can i help you?

Uh, no. No, no,
i got it.

Oscar-4-Kilo,
this is echo-5-Gulf.

Oscar-4-Kilo,
this is echo-5-Gulf.

Anything, sergeant?
No, sir.

I think it's the storm.
Yeah, well, they know
we're coming, right?

All right.

Where are we going?
Green zone, baby.

They'll stabilize you,

Then you are going
to a hospital in germany.

And then you're gonna go home.
Okay?

Teddy get there yet?

No word.

Don't worry. I'm sure
your girl's just fine.

Stop it. I am serious.
We're friends.
yeah,
keep telling yourself that.

hunt?!

You all right, hunt?!

I'm okay. You okay?

Yeah.

We must have hit an i.E.D.

How are the patients?

I don't know.

I gotta find 'em all.

everyone's gone. We lost gekko.

Dan?

Dan.

owen?

Owen?

Owen?

What?

You paged.

When you did
kim allan's evaluation,

Did you scope her?
What? Wait.
Is that her chart?

Dr. Altman's patient, who,
according to this chart,

You ordered pulmonary
function tests one week ago.

I'd like to know if,
during that evaluation,

You did a bronchoscopy.
Is there a problem?

Can you just answer
the question?
Why are you interrogatg me?

P.F.T.S can give you
false positives,

And a patient may kill herself
due to incorrect data.
Well, it's routine,
so we probably did--

Probably? Probably
is good enough for?

Probably is good enough
for dr. Altman?

What is going on?
Are...

Owen.

did you call lani?

Um, you should call
your wife.

She'll freak. Tommy, call when
i go in. Downplay it.

It's a broken leg.

A little frostbite on your
fingers, but nothing terrible.

You're about to...
aah!

Um,
scream really loud.

that was worse than when
i broke my ankle on kilimanjaro.

You guys
climbed kilimanjaro?
Couple of years ago.

I made it to the summit while
these guys got altitude sickness

Half a mile from the top.
man.
You guys are hard-Core.

We gotta be.
I sell insurance.

Phil and tommy
are accountants.

Ah! These trips are all we got
to keep our blood moving.

Y, show 'em the picture
of you on top of kili

With the rubber chicken.

That doesn't look like
you on a mountain.

Oh, sorry.
That's my daughter hannah.

Ladybug for halloween.

You telling me
you don't want one of those?

You stole my surgery
right out from under me.

It wasn't your surgery.
It was nelson's surgery.

It's beyond nelson's
skill level.

Right? I mean,
that's what you said--
My diagnosis,
my tumor, my debulking.

Can i scrub in at least?
You're on nelson's service.

If i switch you, it's gonna
look like favoritism.
Dr. Nelson's been given
an aneurysm--

You stop talking.
meredith, calm down.
People are starting to stare.

You stole my surgery.

He stole my surgery.

Everything okay?

Yeah, it's fine.
Everything's, uh... fine.

Have you had lunch yet today?
I'm headed down.

Oh, i can't eat
in the cafeteria anymore.

The vultures
won't leave me alone.
Vultures?

People need things from me.

Seems like everybody
has a pressing problem

That can't wait.
Shepherd, you have a minute?

Mm-Hmm. See?

Ugh. My lunch
is making me s,

And i haven't even
started eating it yet.

say something.
shut up.

I was gonna go
for lasagna.

I don't know why
i didn't pull the trigger.
Say it.

Shut up.
Say what?

nothing.
Hello.

Okay, then.

If you don't say it,

You're gonna regret it
for a long, long--
enough.

Okay, what is it
with you two?

What is your problem?

Teddy, i--
You go to shepherd
behind my back

About a patient
you don't even know?

You have no idea
what she's been dealing with,

The kind of pain that she's in--
Pain that's only gonna be worse

After i ram a tube
down her throat

Because you're having
some kind of problem

With her exercising
her legal right to die.

So i want to know,
what the hell is your problem?

You missed it.

Altman tore hunt a new one
in the cafeteria.

Whole hospital's
talking about it.
Oh, not to me.

I walk in the room,

And all conversation
grinds to a halt.

Well, come on.

You don't talk locker room talk
in front of the coach.

I'm not a coach anymore.

I'm a player. I take a shower
like everybody else.

Richard...

You're a little bit
like everybody else.

But mostly,
you're still a coach.

It's a sign of respect.

It would be wrong
toake it any other way.

You know the drill--

We've put you
in a twilight state,

Next we're gonna spray lidocaine
on the back of your throat

And pass the scope--
I don't get it.
She had this test last week.

Isis there a chance
the results are wrong?
It's very unlikely.

But it's possible?

You wouldn't put her thrgh
this again for no reason.

You must think that there's
a chance the tests were wrong.

There are questions being raised
that have nothing to do with--
By who? Raised by who?

Sean--
Just talk to me,
'cause i'm standing here

Thinking that my wife's
gonna die today,

And if that's not gonna happen,
all right,

If there's a chance
that she might get better--
your wife
isn't gonna get better.

This test is unnecessary,

And the hospital's
covering its ass.

thank you.

no problem.

Julie...

Can you find out
if dr. Bailey's on her way?

Okay, doctor.

if i wasn't
happily married,

I'd hit her.

I'd hit her ha.

Sir, i think
what you wanted say

Was "hit that."

I don't thk you wanted
to say that at all.

I hear shepherd
took your surgery.

How'd you hear that?

Appantly you yell
really loud.

Yeah, well, i have to hold
a retractor for shadow shepherd

While derek
debulks my tumor.

So, yes, i yell very loud.

Yeah, well, the key
is to think of yourself

As one of the whos
down in whoville.

What?

You know, when, um,

The grinch came down
and stole all their presents...

They didn't lethat
ruin christmas for them.

You know, instead, they came out
on christmas morning

And they sang.

You're gonna
go into that surgery,

And you're gonna sing.

Sing, cindy lou.

Sing.

Your scalp lac is small enough

That shooting in lidocaine
would be more painful

Than just throwing in
a couple of staples.
Is this gonna hurt
like my fingers? Because--

Not too much.

Aah! God! aah!

Aah!
Sorry, sorry.

Aah!

Okay, that's it.
I got it.

the hand
aawas swelling so much,

It would've popped the finger
right off.

what?

You're still trying
to save the arm.

You gotta tourniquet it.
If i do,
then you will lose it.

it's not about the arm.

If i could just try to tie off
that brachial artery--

Owen!
It's not about the arm.

You're right. I know.
I know. You're right.

Okay, dan, listen to me.

The back of this truck
is trashed.

Most of the supplies,
all the morphine--

There's no morphine.
There's no lidocaine.

You bring whiskey?

Okay, we got it.
We got it.

we got it. We got it.
We got it.

No.

I don't think we do.

dr. Hunt.

Kim allan's bronchoscopy

Confirmed that nothing more
could be done.

Sloan signed off.

He did his due diligence,
but it's over.

I won't let you kill him.L him.

You're not gonna kill him.

Dr. Hunt... the patient
in question is a woman.

No one's trying to kill her.

She's choosing to die.

You should go home.

I have a surgery.

You're done for the day.
Go home.

Okay, okay.

Can you--

Can you hold this?
I c--

Can you put pressure there?
I don't think--

Okay, i'm gonna have to
move you--
Oh, no, i can't. I can't.
I'm too tired.

No, no, no. Dan, dan,
wake up. Wake up.

I have to.

It's gonna hurt like hell,

But i have to find something
to pack this wound

Till someone comes.

Someone's coming?
Someone's coming?

Okay, you ready?

Here we go.

Here we go.

okay, here we go.

Here we go.
Aah!

Oh, please, please!

Please!

please. Please.
Please. Please.

Please. Please.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Please just... don't.
I'm sorry.

There we go. There we go.

Hypoermia--
Uh, that's the last one.

The last...

Stop that.
Someone is coming.

Help is coming.

You been saying that
for hours.

i'm coagulopathic.

I'm probably acidotic.

I'm in the triad of death.

No one is coming.

If i could just move you--
No! Look, hunt, i need you--

I need you to say
a hail mary with me.

Dan...

I don't know it.

That's okay.

It's okay.
Just say it with me.

Hail mary...
hail mary...

Full of grace...
full of grace...

The lord is with thee.
The lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou
amongst women...
blessed art thou
amongst women...

Blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, jesus.
Blessed is the fruit
of thy wb, jesus.

Holy mary, mother of god...
holy mary, mother of god...

Pray for us sinners...
pray for us sinners...

Now...
now...

And at the hour
of our death.
And at the hour
of our death.

Amen.
Amen.

You make sure lisa
gets my ring, all right?

Don't give up, dan.

Don't--Don't use it to propose
to altman or something.

But you--You should propose
to altman.

you know, you two,
you should--You should...

Shut up, dan.
I'm engaged to beth.

And you, you are gonna give
that ring to lisa, okay?

come on. Come on.

What? No.

move your hand.

No.

That's an order, soldier.

No, sir.

They're working
on nick's kidney.

Uh, i was able
to stabilize his legs,

But it's gonna be
a long recovery process.

You may need
to let his wife know

It's a little bit more
than a broken leg.
Yeah, i told my wife,
and she's calling lani.

My wife
can handle her better.

so you--
You summited kili,

You run with the bulls,

But you're--You're scared
of your friend's wife.

I was scared on kili.

I hated every minute of it.

So why do it?

Nick and phil.
They're my boys.

And they love adventure.

Me? I got a kid...

And bad knees.

But i can't ruin it.
We're a team, you know?

So you just suck it up, huh?

Close my eyes
and hope i don't die.

I can't actually
give you the drugs,

But you can have
this prescription filled

In the hospital pharmacy.

Again, i want to emphasize,
there are other options.

We can
make you comfortable.

I just he e queson.

Owen, no--
What if they find a cure?

I know that it's a long shot,
but isn't saving your life

Worth gambling
on a long shot?
Dr. Hunt, i will call security
if you do not step--

Let--Let her answer.
I'd like to hear the answer.

Maybe...

You have to be dying
to understand.

But there's
this thing that happens...

where death stops being scary.

What starts being scary
is hope...

'Cause it's not true.

Even if they found
a cure for cancer tomorrow...

It's too late for me.

and hanging on to hope,

It may make you feel better...

But it just
makes me feel alone.

I don't want to die alone.

Okay?

I am not afraid of this.

Why are you?

Why are you so afraid
to let me die?

Dr. Hunt.

The pharmacy wouldn't take
my insurance card.

There was some problem.

So i had to go
to a cash machine.

And, uh, i'm running around--
I'm trying to get enough cash

To buy the pills
that are gonna kill my wife.

Anyway...

Here they are.

There'll be a moment...

When she dies,
her face will relax and...

All that pain that she was in,
it'll be gone.

And you will feel relief...

Relief for her,
relief for you.

And you will know
with absolute certainty...

That you did the right thing.

Just for a moment...

You gotta let me go, hunt.
Okay?

You gotta let me go.
Please. It hurts.

It hurts.

Oh, please.
It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. Look at me.

Okay, you gotta do it.

You gotta do it.
I can't make you do it.

Okay? Oh, jeez, it hurts.

It hurts.
It hurts. It'skay.

It's okay. It's okay.

Okay? You gotta do it.

it's okay.

You have to hold on
to that moment,

Because all the rest of it...

Is just your own garbage.

you'll be
in physical therapy

For six months,

But with luck, uh, you'll be
ready for your trip next year.

Pamplona, baby!

Pamplona!

Pamplona.

Oh, come on.

He hates this stuff.

All right, the adrenaline,

The adventure--He--
He does this just for you guys,

Because you guys love it,
and he l you.

And... that's my rant
for the day. I'm sorry.

I like to see people
keep their legs. Ignore me.

You know, i'm starting
my own business.

That keeps my blood pumping.

I'm with tommy.

Sorry, nick.

I can't believe you guys.

I almost died jumping out
of a damn helicopter...

When i really wanted to go
wine tasting in napa.

Napa.

napa!

Ugh. It...

The place looks different.

Something's different.

Something
i can help you with?

You were jealous
of her today.
I'm sorry?

Meredith. That's why
you stole her surgery.

You miss the pace
of back-To-Back surgeries,

The adrenaline.

Yeah, i do.

Schedule yourself
one surgery a day--

In the morning, rly,
an hour before anyone else--

So at the very least
you start your day good.

You start your day cutting.

And you don't have to actually
sign all the paperwork.

Patricia's
an excellent forger.

And if you eat alone
in the cafeteria,

You are a sitting duck.

So you need to eat
with someone else.

That way people are more likely
to leave you alone.

You can eat with me.

Thank you.

living is better
than dying...

Until it's not.

I'm scared.

Come here.

But even
if letting a person die

Is the right thing to do...

It's not what surgeons
are built for.

We are arrogant
and competitive.

I'm sorry.

I'm not mad.

I'm in whoville.

Whoville?

Whoville.

We don't like to lose...

Um...

This is really hard
for me to say,

'Cause i really care
about you, and--

Oh, my god.
You're breaking up with me.

Mark? Is it--Is it mark? Are you
sleeping with mark again?

'Cause are--Are you one of
those fake lesbians,

Just having a va-Vacation
in lesbian land and--
Stop.

God, it's not bad.

This thing i have to tell you
isn't bad.

Um... i just...

I want to have a baby...

At some point in my life.

That's all.

I really...

I have to have a baby.

And death...

Feels like a loss...

Even when we know it's not.

(Knock on door

We know it's time.

We know it's right.
Hey there.

Hey.

Come in.

I helped my patient
die today.

You want to talk about it?

No.

We know we did
everything we could.

it's okay.

Ok?
You gotta do it.

You gotta do it.
I can't make you do it.

You--You gotta do it.

Okay?

What are you...

Oh.

I... i couldn't sleep.

Are you okay?

But it's hard
to shake the feeling that...

We could've done more.

yeah. Yeah, i'm fine.

Go back to bed.

Owen...

Wh-What are you thinking?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Go back to bed.