Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 17, Episode 13 - Good as Hell - full transcript

There's a moment
I've noticed in the OR...

Especially when a
patient is going south.

You're working so hard,
you lose yourself.

All of your problems.

Your relationships.

Career goals.

Your fears.

They all just fade away.

It's not even you
and your patient.

It's you and yourself.

Your skill.



You might call it muscle memory,

or being in the zone.

But whatever you call it,

it's rare...

and you never want it to end.

Hey. Hey.

Are the, uh...
Are the kids okay?

Yeah, they're great.

It took a little longer
to get through the park

'cause of the protests, but
Mom had French toast ready.

How was, uh, therapy?

Virtual. Yeah.

Is that why you're out here?

Making sure that I did it?



No. I'm
here to make sure

that you're done, 'cause I
have something to show you.

Hey. Hey.

Didn't your shift
end a while ago?

Yeah, I went to check on Mer.

Still no change.

She'll get better.

Just like Jennilyn did.

You didn't even know Jennilyn.

She's my favorite ICU nurse.

It might be my first
official day here,

but she and I... we go way back.

I'm just
glad I didn't miss

her big post-COVID sendoff.

She is one of us.

Here she comes!

Ladies and gentlemen,
Jennilyn's going home!

Whoo!

Whoo! Alright!

Whoo!

Hey, excuse me.

Hey, did we miss it?

No, you're just in time.

Ah.

Bailey: Six weeks
in the hospital.

Our tenth official
discharge this week.

Ah, I remember the
day I hired her.

I will never get sick of this.

You okay?

That should be Meredith.

I hate ER days.

Everything's so urgent.

What are we watching tonight?

Whatever youwant.
I'll be with Nico.

Movie nights are sacred, Levi.

Movie nights are new

since your sex
friend disappeared.

Don't deprive me of mine.

I have to talk to
Bailey about OB today,

and I know that Webber told
me everything I need to say,

but still... Bailey.

You have to talk to
Bailey every day.

I'll cancel my plans
when you actually do it.

Hey. Uh, you forgot this.

Oh, well, uh, could've
just gotten it later.

Oh, it was kind of in the way.

Well, it wouldn't be if you
gave me a drawer or something.

Is the sex still good?

It's amazing.

See how supportive I
was of you just now?

Bye!

Okay, Felix, and how's
your range of motion been?

Felix: It's still
stiff when I throw.

I thought I'd be back
to pitch this fall.

Hey. Teddy hasn't
returned my calls.

Have you talked to
anyone from the hospital?

'Cause I...

Sorry. It's just, I
had a dream about Mer.

I'm going.

Sorry, Felix.

Um, you know, it's
still early days,

you're only four
months post surgery,

and it was a decent-sized tear.

This is the last season to
get scouted by a D-1 school.

Huh.

Why
are you still here?

Right. I'm gone.

Uh... yeah, Felix, it's gonna
take a little bit more patience.

It's... It's gonna be...

I'm so sorry.

Felix, is it?

Um, a-are you right-handed?

Yeah. Amelia.

I know this is weird.
I'm... I'm a surgeon, too,

and I just, uh, wanted to
check one thing with you.

H-Have you noticed
that your left arm

feels stronger than
your right arm recently?

I guess so. Kinda?

Why? What the hell?

If this is a neurological issue,

it could end more
than just his career

if it goes untreated, so
I'm...

Hey. I just want to to over a
couple maneuvers with you, okay?

Okay.

Meredith's vitals
have been stable for days.

Her X-rays have shown a
remarkable improvement,

and her oxygen requirements
have gone down.

Which is why she should be awake

for more than two
minutes at a time.

Why isn't she?

What is it?

Her labs this morning showed
elevated liver enzymes.

It might just be a side
effect from the medications,

but we do want to
order some new tests.

And we'd also like to get
CTs, both chest and abdomen.

It might seem extensive, but...

Well, let's do it.

We're seeing more and more
patients in the same position.

It seems like they're
finally out of the woods,

and then some new problem arises

and they just

they just crash.

We can't let this
happen to Meredith.

Were you in pain?

You know, the worst
part was knowing

they were getting it wrong.

I didn't want to leave you,

but I knew, you know,
at a certain point...

I came to the hospital.

I know.

You could hear?

Not through my ears.

Dying is exhausting.

You know that point as a surgeon

you've done everything
for your patient.

I could try and
will them to fight,

will them to live,

but I never understood
the level of exhaustion.

There comes a point

where the desire to rest
overrides the desire to live.

You got that.

You gave me permission to go.

You told me it was okay.

You got me.

You gave me everything I
needed until my last breath.

Do you need more time
to think about it?

No.

Okay.

And your answer is...

I just told you. No.

Bailey...

I didn't come to this
decision lightly,

and without your recommendation,

I may have to redo my
entire intern year.

Only if you were
changing specialities,

which you are not doing.

That is not your
decision to make.

It's not. No. It's yours,

and you made it when
you signed a contract

as a general surgery attending.

It's got a few more years
on it, last time I checked.

Bailey, you can't...

I-I need this.

And I need surgeons, Wilson.

I'm losing them to, uh,
sickness, exhaustion,

hell, murder, or
in Avery's case,

just suddenly taking
a leave of absence.

Y-You need to think
about the hospital.

I can't afford to
lose you right now,

especially when Meredith...

Look, we can, um,
revisit this topic

after this thing is over,

but for right now,
my answer is no.

Okay. Felix is headed in.

Mm. Great.

Uh... Is he set up for his
MRI in case he beats us there?

Yes. You know, I
would have caught

that right-sided deficit.
Yeah, I know you would have.

We had just started. I was
focused on the shoulder.

Yeah, I know you were.

Not to mention I kept
getting distracted.

All my fault. I got it.

I'm ready.

No, we... we can't leave.

Maggie's not here yet.

Oh, well, that means youcan't,

but I can, and I should.

Or, you know, I
could call Koracick

and you could stay here.

Well, this was my find.

Oh, I'm sorry. You wouldn't
want somebody waltzing in

and stealing your patient? W...

Please don't take this from me.

I have not operated
in over a month.

Oh, and this sudden need to
operate has nothing to do

with your sister still
being unconscious?

Nope.

I just really miss cutting.

Got it.

Okay. I-I'm still coming.

Hey. Great to see you, Maggie.

Thanks for all the help.

Um, everybody's eaten.

Hi?

I
take it this is a new hobby?

Should have
started with the plow stop,

but my kids wanted to
learn the moonwalk.

I was killing it until
I hit that railing.

Levi: My mom would
never do that.

She's a total worry...
Dr. Schmitt, order tib/fib X-rays

and page me when
they're done, please.

Okay, Erika, I'd like
to do an abdominal ultrasound.

Oh. Nice.

I've lost 50 pounds in Q-tine.

Check out these abs.

Damn.

That railing ate me alive.

Yep. Oh.

Okay, let me know if
this hurts at all.

50 pounds, huh?

Tech lawyer. Boatloads of
money, but... tech lawyer.

Sedentary job, sedentary life.

Then COVID hit, and I figured,
if the world's ending,

I might as well be
happy.

I was so tired of
being tired, you know?

So, I quit that
job that I hated,

spent time with my kids,

started working out,

then I started my own business
making peanut brittle.

Ooh. Try some.

Ooh.

No eating in the hospital.

Um, so, Erika, it looks
like you have some bleeding

under your abdominal muscle,

so we'll need to do a CT to
evaluate how severe it is.

Alright, page me when
she's ready, Schmitt.

I won't tell if you won't.

And I know we've only
technically met on the phone,

but I'm marrying your sister,

so how about you wake up

and give me a
"Congratulations" or something?

I mean, I heard you were tough,

but I didn't think
you were cold.

I want you closer.

You're worried
about the kids.

If you get closer...

I'll never leave.

I think that's the theory.

Your dad died when
you were young.

Yes.

And it almost ruined me.

But it didn't.

Kids survive.

And struggle makes
them stronger.

Sometimes. Sometimes,
it makes them stronger,

and sometimes, it makes them...

Amelia.

She's doing great, by the way.

I know. And she
named her baby...

I know!

Oh.

People love you, Meredith.

People need you.

I'm tired.

Your body's tired.

But your soul...

Your soul won't even
let me near you.

You're still fighting.

Have you seen the last

one or two years?

Yeah.

Was that hard for you?

It's harder watching
you be lonely.

I want to say you're beautiful,

but it's... shallow.

Say "pretty on the inside."

That's what I tell Zola to say.

"Be pretty on the inside."

You're pretty on the
inside, Meredith Grey.

How's Grey? Not getting better.

She won't stay awake, and her
liver enzymes are elevated.

Any sign of acute infection?

No, but that doesn't
mean anything

because this stupid
disease causes

every complication in the book

without any
consistency whatsoever.

Well, it's still relatively new.

There's information coming
out every day, and...

Yeah, vagueinformation.

We have no idea how this disease

is gonna affect these
patients in the long-term.

I mean, there could be
permanent lung scarring,

vascular damage,
neurological issues...

Eh, oh, no, please,
keep... keep going.

Tom, I didn't...

I'm... I'm sorry. That's...

I'm sure that you're fine.

Alright. She's all set.

Okay. Great. Thanks.

Tom, I'm sorry. I...

Hey, Doc, you're
just stating facts.

Don't be sorry.

Okay.

What happened?

Carolyn Hexton.

Cardiac arrest.

When I talked with
her yesterday,

she didn't even need oxygen.

Yeah, and then she started
having arrhythmias,

and then she went into V-fib.

37 years old.

Kindergarten teacher.

She ran 10ks for charity.

I thought she'd be
going home this week.

Yeah. So did she.

We all did.

I got to call her
family.

Hello, Mrs. Hexton.
This is Dr. Hunt.

No. No, um...

No. She...

Uh, she's, uh...

Um, there were
some complications.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Hexton.

Could you give me
one moment, please?

Woman over P.A.: Dr. Seip.
Dr. Tracy Seip to Recovery.

Please tell me you're
not eating in...

I'm not! I'm not! I'm
just, uh... I'm smelling.

I-I miss smelling things.

Smell things after work in
the comfort of your own home.

My home smells like
unwashed laundry.

It's impressive, huh?

Leaving a successful career,

getting in shape,

being there for your family.

She really made
lemonade out of, um

a-a very deadly virus.

Must be nice.

You think she should be
doing something different?

I think if I suddenly
started baking snickerdoodles

and going base jumping,

do me a favor and throw
a big net over me.

It's peanut brittle.

It's... It's actually
a-a lot harder to master

than snickerdoodles.

Scans are up.

Mm. Mm.

Okay. Deep breaths, buddy.

She told me to drop everything
I was doing and rush to the ER.

Well, Dr. Shepherd has
a tendency

to, uh, raise the
stakes of any situation.

MRI results will be
back in a second.

You look worried, and he keeps
telling me I'm gonna be fine.

Dr. Shepherd, baseball
is Felix's life.

It's what got him
into junior college,

and it's his only
hope of getting

into a Division I school.

What would you do if suddenly,

you couldn't be a
surgeon anymore?

You paged Koracick?

No. Radiology did.

Uh. Be right back.

He has a meningioma, C6, 7.

Let me
look at it, please.

That is a nasty little tumor.

We'll have to do an intricate
multi-level decompression.

Start with a wide excision,

but that will destabilize
his cervical spine,

so he'll need hardware.

Forget about his pitching arm.

Any slip, and you risk
making him a paraplegic.

I mean, but there's a lot
going on with your sister

and our lives.

It's been a long time since...

I'm not that rusty, thank you.

You can go, Tom.

Alright, one millimeter off...

I said you can go, Tom.

And, uh, if you want to help,

you can comfort the
patient while I book an OR.

How we doing today?

Oh, you know,

just thinking about
how selfish it is

to follow my dreams.

I meant Luna, but,
uh, good to know.

Luna's
trending upwards,

so Luna is a bright spot in
a sea of unfettered misery.

What's all this about dreams?

I want to switch to OB,

but Bailey said it's a bad time.

Ah, she's not wrong there.

Thank you.

Listen, everything
will sort itself out

once Grey's back on her feet.

If she gets back on her feet.

Well, I thought she
was on the mend.

We all did.

Well, how bad is it?

Her liver enzymes are
elevated this morning,

and her creatinine is worse,

so her kidneys could be
failing, and nobody knows why.

God, it's just one thing
after another, isn't it?

This is my way of remembering
that there is more to the world

than just misery and death.

At least, I hope there is.

I'll get out of your way.

Tell me
you found something.

Meredith's
chest CT was clear.

However, her
abdominal CT wasn't.

We found a filling defect
in her IVC and hepatic vein.

And is that clot in her liver?

Yes, which explains why
she can't stay awake.

Her body's fighting a
build-up of ammonia.

It's a small clot, but if
we don't treat it quickly,

then there could
be fluid build-up,

which will just wreak
havoc on her liver.

Can you do, uh, an IR shunt
or thrombolytics, or...

A TIPS procedure should be
done in the IR suite, for sure,

but I don't think
I should do it.

Why not?

Because Dr. Altman's here,

and because Dr. Grey
is Maggie's sister,

and if anything... Dr. Altman

are you sure you're up to this?

It's a simple procedure.

I know what it is.

I'm asking, are you...

I will book an IR suite.

Altman...

Are you sure?

Meredith doesn't have time
for this conversation.

Hey.

Webber send you
to check in on me?

No. No, he told me
what was going on

and asked me if we thought
you were okay to operate.

And? And I told him you
were fine to operate

and there was no
one better to do it.

Thank you. And I also told him
that if something goes wrong,

either something
within your control

or something outside of it,

I'm not sure that
you'll recover.

I lost a kindergarten
teacher today.

I had to call her family.
I broke down on the phone.

I don't know if they
knew that I was crying

or if they thought
that I was choking,

but I was pretty
much doing both.

Never in my career
have I... cried

while delivering
news to a family.

It is unprofessional,

and honestly, it
is embarrassing.

And after all we saw in
the war, all that loss,

and this kindergarten
teacher that I barely knew

just... broke me.

Because, uh...

Because COVID.

Yeah.

You've been through
a lot, Teddy,

and you just came back,
and it is Meredith.

If something goes wrong...

I might not recover.

Can you page Dr. Ndugu
for me, please?

Dr. Shepherd, I've worked
with a lot of neurosurgeons.

None of them were
as good as you.

One millimeter in
the wrong direction,

and I end this kid's career.

That's what Tom said.

That is what he said,

and that's what I said.

But you are Amelia Shepherd.

So you got this.

What's she doing?

She's getting ready to crush it.

Did something happen?

Yeah, you'll be
joining me. Okay.

She's not just your
family or Maggie's.

She's mine. She's everyone's.

So, she's gonna have
two of the finest

cardiovascular surgeons
in the country,

and we're not gonna think about

what she means to
us or to everyone.

We are gonna help each other
do what we know how to do,

and we will watch each
other's every move.

No ego. There's no question
that's too stupid to ask.

It's just about the work,

and we are going to
remove this clot.

Deal.

Okay, then.

Here we go.

Ultrasound?

Ellis draws this picture of us.

I'm in a wedding dress.Uh-huh.

And then you're in a suit.

I showed her the Post-it
Note, but she just...

Hates it. Hates it.

She feels robbed.

Well, she gets that
from my mother.

You hate weddings.

I hate weddings.

But I would give this
to her if I could.

What do you want me to promise?

To torture yourself less.

I don't want to leave the kids.

I don't want you
to leave the kids.

Hey, Zola.

Your math teacher said you
signed out of class early today.

Are you okay?

What's wrong?

I'm mad.

At someone at school?
At everything.

Did you see the news,
about the protests?

Yeah. Yeah.

When my teachers try
to talk about it,

they get really weird and
seem scared to say anything.

That happens.

Do you want to go to a protest?

I could take you.

I don't want to
go without my mom.

She'd be mad, too.

But she doesn't even
know what's happening.

She says she works
at the best hospital

with the best doctors.

She does. We do.

Then why isn't she home?

You know Dr. Fox?

She told me to try something

when I'm really upset
that really helped.

What?

Screaming.

I'm serious.

It'll wake up the baby.

It's okay. It's time
for his bottle anyway.

Come on. Come on.

Okay.

Come on. Shake it off. Ready?

One, two, three.

Your CT shows what's called
a rectus sheath hematoma.

It's when you have bleeding

under your middle
abdominal muscles.

Banged myself up good, didn't I?

And your
blood counts are a little low,

so we'll need to
watch you overnight

to make sure the bleeding
doesn't get worse.

Well, your tib/fib
fracture should heal nicely

without surgery,
but we're gonna need

to put you in a cast
before you're discharged,

which you'll have to be
in for about six weeks.

Mm, I can make
brittle from a chair.

Must take a lot of peanuts to
make what you made as a lawyer.

I-I'd need a factory for that.

Yeah.

You think I'm crazy, don't you?

I didn't say anything.

There was this poem I
read in high school.

This lady stood near a cliff,

afraid to get close to
the edge for a better view

because she thought
she might fall.

But then someone pushed her.

Was the poem about murder?

No, because
she didn't fall...

She flew.

The cliff was a metaphor...

It's what we're
afraid will happen.

There's so much the
world tells us we need

that we don't really need.

Couldn't see it until
I took the jump...

Isssh

beautiful...

Shhhhome...

Uh...

Oh. Pulse is thready.

Hematoma's expanding.

She's actively bleeding.

Let's get her to the OR.

We're coming up to the OR!

Stent looks patent
after the procedure.

And liver enzymes?
The creatinine?

Already improving.

Then why isn't she waking up?

It takes time. We have given her
time. We have given her time,

and every test and
every treatment.

We removed that clot
perfectly... perfectly...

And she's still not waking up,

and she's still not improving,
and she's still not going home.

Why isn't she?
Altman, there is...

I'm sorry. I-I can't.

I have to take a walk.

More suction.

Hemostat.

Yeah, looks like she'll
live to skate another day.

2-0 silk.

You know how a pearl
is formed, Schmitt?

Should I?

It all starts with one very
irritating grain of sand.

The oyster doesn't like it,

wants to keep its
shell pristine.

So, to get rid of the sand,

the oyster coats it with the
inner layer of its shell.

Then we're gonna tie off the
collateral while we're in there.

Good.

Perfect.

But that just makes
the sand bigger.

And even more annoying
to the oyster.

So, the oyster just keeps
adding layer after layer,

until... a pearl.

Lap pads.

So, I'm the sand,

and you're trying
to transform me?

The story wasn't
about you, Schmitt.

The pandemicis the sand,

and it's pushed its way
into all of our homes,

but it doesn't mean it
has to ruin everything.

Maybe it is an
opportunity to transform.

Maybe Erika here
has the right idea.

I guess that's what Jo
Wilson's doing, right?

Now, why would you bring up
losing one of my best surgeons

when I just got
to my happy place?

Goodness.

Goodbye, tumor.

You two
really are co-dependent.

She ask you to chaperone?

Nope.

Just living vicariously.

You here to chaperone?

No.

Don't tell her I said this,

but Shepherd's fun
to watch in there.

Elegant, focused, confident.

Pippen to my Jordan.

What do you hear about Meredith?

Uh, I don't.

Uh, I... don't.

I largely try to avoid that
entire wing of the hospital

because... God.

When is it just
too much, Lincoln?

When do we get to scream at God?

When do we get to open
a bottle of Scotch

and pour him a giant
God-sized glass,

push it across the table, and
when he's too drunk to smite us,

just scream...

"What kind of a
sick joke is this?"

I don't get how kids still
get cancer during all this.

What kind of a
sick joke is this?

Is she awake?

No.

What if we did something wrong?

You didn't.

What if we caused
the clot to break off

and now she's having
a massive stroke?

Teddy, there's nothing that
indicates any of that, okay?

Then why isn't she awake?

Teddy, breathe, okay?

Just... Just breathe.

Listen, hold my hand.

Can you feel my hand?

Okay. Just feel that and
just concentrate on that.

Concentrate on the weight
of my hand on your hand.

Good.

No. No. No.

Owen, please... Teddy, no.

Listen, I'm here.

I am here with you.

Okay?

But you need to
feel this, Teddy.

Just feel it.

Dr. Webber, maybe you should go.

Why? Because it's
only my first day,

and I want to try something that
could very well get me fired.

Absolutely not.

Well, at least hear the man out.

I've heard.

Zola is already traumatized.

I am not bringing
her to the hospital.

We need to do something, Maggie.

Hearing her daughter,
feeling her?

Maybe it could help. Winston,
if your mother or my mother

could have stayed and lived,

they would have
stayed and lived,

but people don't just decide.

It's not a choice.

Our mothers were terminally ill,

but Meredith

we have fixed the only thing
we found that was wrong.

It's too much to put on a child.

All she'll know is that
she's coming to see her mom,

which she wants to do anyway,
and Meredith's negative now.

It's safe. Maggie,
you know good and well

that there is a psychological
component to recovery.

I've seen it again and again.

I have, too.

Well, don't you think it's
at least worth trying?

Maggie, whether it
works or it doesn't,

at least Zola gets
to see her mom again.

Let me call you back.

Hey.

I want to go.

I want to see Mommy.

You got it?

All of it?

All of it.

And my arms?

You show us.

Oh.

Alright, you get some rest.

Okay. I need Scout.

I know. We haven't even
been gone that long.

I miss him, too. Ooh,
no, my boobs hurt.

I need to nurse or pump.

Or both.

And let's go. Hmm.

Bandage is clean
and dry and intact.

No evidence of bleeding.

How's your pain, Erika?

Nothing I can't handle.

How long until I can work again?

Well, you'll be back in
brittle business in no time.

I meant work-work, not brittle.

At least, if anyone's hiring.

To the job you hate?

To the job that keeps me
alive and in one piece,

and keeps my kids fed.

Quarantine was a nice vacation,

but I can't live in the clouds.

I need to be realistic.

God, what was I thinking?

That this world
had more to offer.

Oh, Erika.

You know, that... that feeling

that you have to keep
going no matter what,

that it's all on
your shoulders...

It's something that
we're taught as women,

as Black women.

And
I'm guilty of it.

And the pressure to
keep this place running?

I never used to
take any breaks.

I never used to
let down my guard.

I never... I never took breaks.

And then I had a heart
attack in my 40s.

"Rest" is not a dirty word.

Rest
is... not laziness,

no matter what you're told

or how many times
you're told it.

Rest... Rest is love.

Rest is peace.

Rest is a beautiful
model for your children.

And I was

forgetting again
until I met you.

So, don't be too quick
to give up on your joy.

You can... make it
your revolution.

Hey.

It's the smallest
one that we have.

Who's it for?

The less you know, the better.

Eh, and don't worry...

I won't tell anyone
it's from you.

Fine with me if you do.

Now, go on.

She's waiting for you.

Hey, if you change your
mind, it's alright.

It's okay if you're scared.

Mommy?

It... It's me.

I'm here.

It's Zozo.

I miss you so much.

I got your page.

My answer is no.

Did you forget that you
already told me that?

No. I will not be
making you keep a job

that no longer fulfills you.

What about all of the... The
surgeons that you're losing?

Do you want me to
change my mind?

No.

Look, all
non-emergency surgeries

are non-existent anymore,

and if I have to hire
a new general surgeon,

I will, but that's
not your problem.

That's mine. I will help
you find anyone to...

Eh...

Thank you. Thank you.

Just love it, Wilson.

Love it with every part of you.

Hey.

How's the, uh, peanut
brittle woman doing?

Heard you had to rush
her into surgery.

Nico, I think you're standing
on a cliff and you're scared.

Sounds a little crazy because
you're never scared of anything,

but me having a little
space in your apartment...

It's not the end of the world.

Doesn't mean I'll never leave.

It doesn't mean
that we're getting married.

It just... It means
that you're carving out

a small amount of room for me.

Huh.

Well, move in with me.

You're right. I guard my
own space out of habit

because it makes me feels safe,
but safe from what?

You?

I love you, Levi.

So just

move in with me.

Oh, I just... I just remembered
I can't come over tonight.

Jo is really sad
about Jackson leaving.

She is? What?

Yeah, and I-I promised
her that I'd hang out.

But... great talk.

Levi!

See you tomorrow.

Hey. Hey.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Bailey said yes!

Great. What are we
watching?

Wait, what happened
to Nico night?

Oh, he's, uh... he's busy.
He's standing right over there.

Yeah, yeah. I said,
"What are we watching?"

Whoa! Easy there, kiddos!

Oh, alright.

Yeah. Cool fort.

You got room for one more?

What's the password?

Uh... Rainbow
Donkey? Both: Nope!

I'm gonna go check on Scout.

He just ate.

Little thing was out
in about 10 seconds.

I'm sorry, was I
supposed to keep him up?

Uh, Mom? What... What
are you doing here?

Did Zola wake up Mommy?

What? She went to try
and wake up Mommy.

Did something happen
with Meredith?

No change in her mentation.

Sorry.

Well, it's something.

And no matter what happens,

you did something,

and I'm grateful.

I want her to live.

I haven't met her yet.

And she's

she's not just Maggie's sister.

She's Dr. Meredith Grey.

So she lives, right?

Please God.

Please God.

Those moments,
when everything fades away,

you're at your best.

But there's a problem with
disappearing into the work...

You can't save every patient.

It was Richard
and Winston's idea.

What?

It's a good idea.

And when I was checking
Ellis' homework,

she was actually
doing pretty well.

I'm scared.

I don't know why.

Me, too.

I need this year to get better.

Me, too.

What
happened? Is she okay?

Yes. Yeah, she's the same.

What?

Why... Why'd you bring Zola?

I couldn't think
of a better idea.

Oh, my God.

I can't breathe.

I'm so sorry. I-I
should've told you.

You were in surgery.

I need her to live.

I need her to live.

Oh, my God.

Please, I need her to live.

What? Did
something happen? What?

Shh. Uh...

All of it.

Just all of it just...

All of it happened.

And if surgery is all you have,

no matter how great you are,

eventually, you're
going to disintegrate.

It's not time yet.

There's no pain here.

Mm.

You want to know a secret?

I even miss the pain.

You have to go.

I'm so tired.

It's not your time yet.

Our kids need you.

You have to go.

Mom, Ellis keeps
coming into my bed at night,

the way I would come into yours.

At first, I thought
it was annoying,

but now, I tell her she can come
in my bed whenever she wants.

And sometimes, I let
Bailey come in, too.

But he sleeps on
pillows on the floor,

but I always cover
him with a blanket.

That's so nice of you, Zozo.

Mommy!

Hi.

As nice as it is to
lose all your worries,

you also lose the good.

I love you so much, Mommy.

We love youso much.

We love you somuch.

You're awake.

And if you hope to have any
kind of life worth living...

We love you, Zozo.

You're definitely
going to need the good.

Captions by VITAC...