Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 13, Episode 5 - Both Sides Now - full transcript

You know that story

where a child gets trapped under a car

and their parent finds
the superhuman strength

to lift the car
and save the child's life?

I always wondered if that was real.

I mean, are you sure you
don't want me to go with you?

I could go with you.

No, I'm fine. I'll just need a second.

I could go with you. I have the day off.

And you need people.

It's good to show them
that you have people.



You don't want to look like
some lone-wolf assailant

with no friends.

Look, all they're doing
is setting a trial date.

It'll take like 10 minutes.

T-The security line will take longer.

- Stop fussing.
- Okay, fine.

If you're sure, fine. Good luck.

If someone I cared about
was hurt or trapped,

would my instincts kick in?

Would I know what to do?

You want to sit a minute?

No, I'm fine. I got to go. Bye.

Okay. Well, call me or text me.

And try to come home early, okay?



Would I lift the car?
Jump in front of the bullet?

Would I be able
to beat somebody senseless?

I like to think I would.

Alex?

Maybe we sit a minute.

Okay.

We have time.

Well, I guess this line
could go slower. Except no.

There's no such thing as moving
slower than not moving at all.

So never mind. I take it back.

Yeah, I thought half an hour
early would be enough.

9/11, man. Everybody's a suspect now.

Look at that lady.
Does she look dangerous to you?

Not really.

Maybe that guy
if you took his coffee away.

I look more dangerous than that guy,

and I'm just here for traffic court.

Contesting a ticket.

I totally didn't stop at the stop sign,

but I'm banking
on the cop not showing up.

They almost never show.

I do not have the money to
throw away on this right now.

Just got knocked up.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

What are you in for?

Just, uh, setting a trial date today.

Trial date? Are you dangerous?

How far along?

Oh, early still. 16 weeks.

That, uh, redness on your hand,
you had it long?

Uh, like a week or so.

Any unusual symptoms?
Uh, leg swelling, abdominal pain?

Okay, you definitely seem
a little weird now.

Sorry. It's a habit.
I'm a doctor at Grey Sloan.

You should get that rash checked.

Oh, no. I got to stick
to the budget right now.

I got enough doctor's visits coming up.

I do not need to add more.

You can afford to see me.
I work at the free clinic there.

Damn it! I'm late.

Get that rash checked! Think about it!

Yeah.

That's me, the girl with the rash.

Thanks.

They're setting the trial date
right now as we speak.

I'm still waiting to hear.

Date? Wow. Makes it all feel so real.

Yeah, and I know it's good news.

It means the end's near,
but things finally

just started feeling
more normal again around here.

Yeah, it brings it all right back up.

You still talk to Karev at all, or...?

We don't talk.
We barely even see each other.

It's a little like he and I
never even existed, so, yeah.

I got to go. I'm on Bailey's service.

Tell me if you talk to your lawyer.

All right.

Robbins, have you met the new resident?

She is great. No, amazing.

She's better than some of my attendings.

Whoa. Hold on a second.

I didn't even know
we got a new resident.

Yeah, Webber just hired her.
She's... Hold on.

Dr. Robbins, this is...

Murphy!

Dr. Robbins.

Hi.

You guys know each other?

Um...

Yes.

Leah... D-D-Dr. Murphy used to...

I used to work here. Yes.

I have patients.

You realize your shenanigans
this morning made me late.

Well, you own the hospital.

You can be as late as you want to.

And you can't tell me my
"shenanigans" weren't worth it.

I don't like being late.

Oh, big surgery?

Mm, meeting with Bailey.

- Oh, really? What about?
- Well...

You hired Leah Murphy back?

Why? Why? Why? W-Why would you do that?

Well, with Blake gone,
it seemed like perfect timing.

I thought you fired her because she
wasn't cut out to be a surgeon.

Yeah, why would you bring her back?

Well, she did the work
to prove me wrong,

and Foster's Residency Director
said she excelled there,

and I think she deserved
a second chance.

What? Don't you believe
in second chances?

No!

I mean. Mm!

Hey. I'm just headed up to surgery.

Just wanted to say good morning.
You were gone when I got up.

Yeah, early surgery.

Listen, you, uh... you want
to talk later, maybe, or...?

- I mean, we didn't last night.
- Nope!

Amelia, people don't always
get pregnant their first try,

and I just don't want you to feel...

Are you kidding? I am fine.

- R... You're fine?
- Yeah, I'm good.

I'm great, even. Yeah, for sure.

That's... that's... that's good.

That's good that you're so good.

Incoming! Any second. MVC.

Kid with possible head trauma,

dad with multiple abdominal injuries.

- We could use neuro.
- Right behind you.

Mm.

Robbie Reeves, 12, MVC.

Restrained passenger. Vitals stable.

No L.O.C. on the scene.
Small scalp laceration.

It was like a roller coaster!

All right. Robbie, I'm Dr. Shepherd.

Where's my dad? I got to ask
him how fast we were going.

It looks like he's pulling in
right behind you.

- Your head's hurting?
- Barely. Can I ask him?

Yeah, in a minute.
I'm gonna check you out first.

Bob Reeves, 40's, the driver.

Some abdominal bruising, tenuous B.P.,

large wounds on the left leg.

Robbie?! Where's my son?

Somebody tell me if my son is here.

Sir, he's here.
They just took him inside, okay?

Okay. Okay. Good. Thank you.

- Aah!
- You got some nasty bruising.

You got pretty banged up
out there, Mr. Reeves.

You should see my car.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

All right. Contact dermatitis, bed 4.

Hey, look who showed up.

Well, I can't be the pregnant lady

who ignores unsolicited medical advice.

That lady's a jerk.

Let's see this rash.

That's all it was, right?
Medical advice?

Because if you got me all worried

just to get a date or get in
some pregnant lady's pants,

that would make you the jerk.

Just doing my job... promise.

How long have your hands been itching?

Uh, like a week, maybe more.

Not that I'm not available.
I am, or, uh, I could be.

A baby belly doesn't
exactly equal baby daddy.

There is a baby daddy.

He's just not attached,
I mean, not to me.

- You don't have to explain.
- I kind of do.

Hospitals give me the creeps,
so talking helps.

Okay, so, there's a baby daddy.

Jeremy... my best friend
since we were kids.

We made one of those pacts...
you know, if we both wound up

single at 40, we'd make a baby.

I always thought it would be
needles and test tubes,

but turns out that's really pricy.

Yeah, it's up there. Look this way.

Look the other way.

All right, good.

So, one night, there was
a lot of tequila, and boom...

I got this little parasite
that sucks all my energy.

Silver lining, though... I've
actually been losing weight.

I always thought
that would go the other way.

You're losing weight. How much?

Um, I don't know, enough to drop a size.

What? What's that look?

Just want to run some tests.

Can you hang out here for a while today?

You know, you got me worried again.

Is there something wrong?
Should I call the baby daddy?

Well, if you're stuck here,
a little company couldn't hurt.

You've made no move to fire Karev.

There's no replacement surgeon.
What is the plan?

Karev's been removed
from the surgical service

pending his trial.

I don't understand why he's
still working here at all.

If a doctor on our staff

has been charged with a felony assault,

he should not be a doctor on our staff.

Well, he's innocent until proven guilty.

We have a justice system.

I don't want to throw away
a good surgeon's career

because of one mistake.

I know. That's your tendency.

That's my tenden... What's my tendency?

Leniency. You have
a tendency towards leniency.

- Are you joking?
- Mnhmnh.

You know what my nickname used to be?

They called me the Na...

Benjamin Warren.

Dr. Bailey, I believe in you.

I think you have

an extraordinary future ahead of you.

And I wouldn't dream of coming in here

and telling you how to do your job.

But if you don't take some steps

to replace Dr. Karev...

I will.

- You paged?
- Uh, yeah, come take a look.

All right, assist the head lac.

Sir, I'm gonna need to take
a look at your wound, okay?

Okay, that's really deep.

We're gonna need to get this debrided

and covered with a local
muscle flap right away.

Looks like he took a beating.

Car hit the median.
They're lucky everyone survived.

My kid was in the car with me.

This guy was all over the road.

- There's blood in his abdomen.
- Better book the C.T.

Three lanes he whipped
across just to cut me off.

I mean, what the hell? Who does that?

Oh, God. Robbie.

What's happening with my son?
Is he okay?

We passed a bunch of cars, and
we kept going faster and faster!

Follow my finger with your eyes.

Ow.

That is quite a cut
you've got there, Robbie.

- Does it hurt?
- I can take it.

Is my dad okay? 'Cause
I should probably check on him.

Right.

I mean, he's my dad.

Ow.

- You okay, Robbie?
- I'm fine, Dad.

- Thanks for waiting.
- Oh, it's fine.

Jackson can cool his heels for
a few more minutes upstairs.

I'm not hurt. I'm really okay, Dad.

Mom's on her way, buddy, okay?

Listen to the doctors
until she gets here.

You hear me? Behave.

I always behave, not like
that jerk that cut us off.

I bet next time he will think twice.

I bet we did teach him some manners.

All right, all right.
Buddy, that's enough.

All right, Dad.

I paged Bailey over an hour ago.

How long does it take to walk
over to the damn clinic?

Uh, what are you doing?

I'm sorry. I'm nervous.

I am, too, but boundaries, remember?

I can't hold your hand?
I've held your boobs.

Can we please not talk about
how the sausage is made?

Can we not call our baby a sausage?

Sorry, guys, just another minute.

And, by the way, you said it was lovely.

It was, in its own way.

I also said let's never
speak of it again, remember?

So, what was all that about?

Is there something we need to know?

Yes, but I need a surgeon
to officially assess you,

and I can't seem to get one.

So if you guys could just hang
tight, I'll be right back, okay?

Hey. My bladder rupture repair...
done and done.

And I'm about to scrub in
on a nasty volvulus.

- What do you got?
- A kid in a car accident.

- Hm.
- He's lucky, though.

I-I'm not seeing much of anything,

just a small congenital AVM,
nothing to do there.

If he's clear in a few hours,
I'll send him home.

Hey, you got a minute to talk?

Owen, there's nothing to talk about.

But you love to talk, and you're
not talking about this at all.

Hear my words and just
take them at face value.

And I know I wouldn't mind talking.

I am fine. It's j-just...
Why the rush, you know?

What?

Well, I mean, w-we were barely engaged,

and now we're barely married,

and we're already trying for kids?

Why all the pressure?
Let's just be us for a minute.

You know, enjoy us
and feel what it's like

to be two people
in a marriage, newlyweds,

before we add to it, right?

Is, um...

If that's what you want.

Great.

She gave you an ultimatum?

Mm-hmm. And she called me lenient.

Lenient!

You were lenient.

I was not. I was not lenient.

Yes, you were.

You were a lenient and kind
and wise chief

who ruled with fairness.

Yes, I was fair. I was fair-minded.

"Lenient" makes me sound weak.

I know.

And I believe in second chances.

Look at Leah Murphy.
She persevered, and she improved.

She asked to come back.

I feel that kind of fortitude
is to be rewarded.

And more so, I believe
it will reward us.

That's how I feel about Karev.

And I'm right.

Right?

You have to decide that.

I mean, that's why they call
them the tough calls, Bailey.

"That's why they call them
the tough calls"?

That's all you got?
I just called you wise.

Heads up.

Look, the clinic is a joke, I know,

and nobody wants to go over there.

But it's not a joke when a pregnant lady

has to wait over an hour
for someone to come over

and confirm that she has cancer.

I've paged you multiple times.

I'm the Chief of Surgery.

Why aren't you paging a resident?

I want you, the surgeon
with the most expertise

to give this patient the best chance.

Look, you stuck me over there.
It's your freakin' clinic.

At least have the decency
to answer your own damn pages.

Not today, Karev. You do not
want to push me today.

Meet you there in 5.

You were saying about
not wanting to fire him?

- Hey.
- Hi.

I'm on Dr. Bailey's service, so...

Right.

- I'm Dr. Bailey.
- Hi. Jeremy.

Wow. This is a lot of fuss
for just a rash.

Okay.

So hit me.

Um, the symptoms
that Dr. Karev noticed...

your weight loss,
the itching on your hands...

when we see those symptoms
together, it's a red flag.

So, we took a look at your MRI

and detected a mass on your pancreas.

Oh, God. It is... cancer?

It's too soon to know for sure.

But it could be?

We'll need to do a biopsy to confirm,

and we can go from there.

And you figured all this out
just by looking at my hands.

I was hoping I was wrong.

Still am.

You and me both.

All right, let's
get some irrigation in here.

I don't get road rage.
Do you get road rage?

Well, I don't chase
people down. I'm not crazy.

Yeah, but other people.

- Oh, other people are crazy.
- Yeah.

Well, actually sometimes,
April, you get a little crazy.

What? Warren, bovie this.

Well, somebody cuts you off
in traffic, you unleash

a stream of obscenities that'll
tear the paint off the walls.

Kepner? Really?

Well, it's just a release.
They can't hear me.

- Yeah, they just think
you're on the phone. - Yeah.

Oh, God, you don't do that with
Harriet in the car, do you?

No, never. I would never.

Oh, and you can't honk.

I mean, that just makes
crazy people crazier.

No, no honking, not ever.

And when I flip someone off,
I always do it

below the dash,
where they can't even see it.

- You know?
- Mm-hmm.

Or maybe you don't do anything.

Solid advice.

Absolutely. Clamp.

You're not even chewing.

I'm hungry, no time.
Waiting on biopsy results.

Did Pierce tell you about
her new favorite resident?

I can't operate, so I don't care.

I mean, technically,
it's an old resident.

Leah Murphy.

- She's back?
- I love her.

Really great suture techniques,
steady hands.

How are you?

Great. Married.

Newlywed of two months going strong.

Super strong.

Can Webber really rehire her?
I mean, I am on the board.

What is the problem?

We needed a new resident,
and she's a good one.

Robbins slept with her.

So did Alex.

If you go there, be careful.
She gets attached.

Excuse me.

- Have you seen her yet?
- No.

I mean, do you think it's weird
she hasn't called us

to let us know she's coming back?

- Who's back?
- Leah Murphy.

She was in our intern class,

and then she left in the
second year of the program.

- Not by choice.
- Oh, what happened?

She didn't fight hard enough
to get in the O.R.

- or study or prepare.
- Yes, she did.

She drilled through a patient's leg

all the way down to the table.

- Yikes.
- Mm-hmm.

- That was an accident.
- Did I also mention she almost

brought the hospital down
with harassment lawsuits

and complaints against attendings

because she was sleeping
with attendings?

Well, in fairness,
I slept with an attending.

Attendings.

Both Robbins and Karev.

- Robbins and Karev?
- Don't remind me.

Not that I care, but still,
just don't remind me.

It all screwed with her head,
so Webber asked her to leave.

Just goes to show...
don't crap where you eat.

Hey, guys! Someone sitting here?

Hi!

No, sit.

Um, we were just talking...

Talking about me? Figures.

Um, anyway, uh, welcome back.

Damn it.

Advanced pancreatic cancer.

I say we start with
neoadjuvant chemoradiation.

Hope it'll shrink the tumor,
then we can resect it.

Follow up with more chemo.

But, uh, but she's pregnant.

How can the fetus survive
that kind of chemo?

It can't.

We'll have to recommend termination.

If we can schedule it
for this afternoon,

we could start the first cycle
of chemo as early as tomorrow.

This isn't some accidental pregnancy.

There has to be some other option.

This is the best option.

You don't know that.
Y-You don't know her.

I know what I'm looking at
on these scans.

Then look harder.
I mean, there has to be some...

Okay, you marched across the street.

You yelled at me to come
and assess your patient.

Me. Nobody else would do.

And now I'm here. I am assessing.

I can't help it if you
don't like what you hear.

I convinced her to come to our clinic.

I told her that we could help her.

It's pancreatic cancer.

There's only so much help we can give.

You're not even trying.

Okay, you are on thin ice, Karev.

Thin. This is not the time to get...

I am the surgeon.
I know my recommendation.

We're done here.

Robbie, I have some good news.
Your dad's out of surgery.

So as soon as your mom gets here,

she can bring you up to see him.

My mom will be pretty happy about that.

Yeah, I bet she will.

She's probably pretty scared.

I bet she is.

Robbie...

If you are scared, it's okay.

I mean, it's all right to be scared.

It's all right to say you are,
talk about it.

He got so mad.

Yeah. It's okay.

And we went so fast.

I thought we were gonna go off the road.

I thought we'd die.

I just want my mom.

She's coming. She's on her way.

And you're safe now, okay?

Okay? Robbie?

- I just want...
- What's that?

- Hurts...
- Robbie? Do you know where you are?

Can you squeeze my hands?

Okay, I'm right here with you,
and I'm gonna help you.

- Dr. Shepherd, this is Robbie's...
- Warren, get in here!

Robbie? We need some help in here!
Get her out of here.

- What's happening? What's happening?
- Listen, ma'am. We need you to step back.

Okay, somebody call upstairs.

Bump whoever's in C.T. out.
We're coming up there now.

Let's go.

W-What's wrong with him?
T-They said he was fine.

And he was, but I really have to go now.

His C.T. was fine.
No contusion, no fracture.

He has an incidental AVM
in the left temporal.

- It must have ruptured.
- If his AVM ruptured, that's bad, right?

- Really bad.
- I want an O.R. on standby.

Make that happen right now.

Robbie's in surgery?

Yeah, he had a brain bleed.

They took him up as soon
as they detected it.

Today was supposed to be a good one.

Robbie said he wanted me to
take him to buy a comic book.

Yeah, t-that kind of thing
doesn't happen much anymore.

He's 12 now.

And everything I do
pretty much embarrasses him.

But today, when that guy
cut me off, I was so pissed.

I mean, he could have killed us.

I just... I took off after him,

and then we hit a slick spot
and we lost control.

We hit the wall.

He's with Dr. Shepherd now.
And she's excellent.

Hey, sweetie. How's Robbie?

There's no news. He's still in surgery.

Bob, what happened?

I don't understand.

I'll check back in a few.

This guy cut me off,
and I just got so mad.

I'm sorry, but it sounds like

- you want me to terminate my pregnancy.
- Oh, man.

We need to begin treatments
as soon as possible.

And the baby couldn't survive them.

So, the baby's healthy.

The thing that's wrong here
is me, right?

Well, how much time do I get?

I mean, if I do what you're asking

and I get all the treatments,
how much time will I have?

Less than a year.

Then what is the point?

Why can't we just wait
until after the baby's born,

and then you can nuke my body
full of chemo all you want?

You're not listening.
She's not listening.

They're saying...

that without the treatments,
the cancer will kill you

before the baby's even born.

In a month, two months,
you'll both be dead.

I went to court to fight
a traffic ticket

so I could save $360

so we could buy
an organic crib mattress.

This is how my day started.
And now I'm...

All day long, I have been
thinking that there is...

there's a reason
that I was in that line.

There's a reason that I met you.

And I don't believe in God
or fate or anything.

She doesn't at all.

But this is it?

I met you so you can tell me
that our baby has to die

and then go crawl off somewhere
and die myself.

These are my options?

Just death?

And more death?

- What about a Whipple?
- A Whipple?

A what?

The baby wouldn't survive
being under that long.

Then we do it open.
Cut the time in half.

We forgo the first round of chemo

and do this surgery instead.

Remove the cancer from your pancreas

without harming the baby,
then close you up.

A-And that will save them...
that will save them both?

No, but it could
keep you alive long enough

to deliver a healthy baby.

It'll buy you both some time.

Dr. Karev.

What the hell? You are not some
hotshot surgeon right now.

You are a doctor in the clinic.

You cannot go around suggesting
outrageous procedures!

I was giving my patient her options.

The patient you only have
because I gave you the chance

in the clinic in the first place!

I'm sorry!

But I wasn't wrong.

I didn't promise the impossible.

Yeah, I overstepped,
and I'm overstepping again

and pissing you off, and I don't care.

Go on, get mad at me, but don't
take it out on the patient.

Just give her a freaking chance.

When I tell you to know your place,

know your damn place.

- Push 25 of mannitol.
- This happened so quickly.

Spontaneous hemorrhage,
but we are gonna get him back.

We have to get him back.

V-fib. Charge paddles to 120.

Clear.

Asystole.

Push another 25 of mannitol.
Check his pupils.

Fixed and dilated.

Let me see that.

No, no. No, no!

No!

He's gone.
Y-You did everything you could.

Seem to have poor back-bleeding
from the inferior mesenteric.

Murphy, what do you do about that?

Create a circular button around
the artery's origin, harvest it,

- and then reimplant it in the graft.
- How?

Use a partially occluding clamp
on the graft to make a cuff

incision and over-sew
the inferior mesenteric artery

- with running 4-0 prolene.
- And then what?

After the completion of anastomosis,

we check the Doppler signals
on the sigmoid mesentery.

- Hm.
- Exactly.

You've double-checked
every suture I've made,

and you're pimping me
with complicated questions.

They told you my story.

What? No.

What story? Is there a story?

W-Who cares?

What they didn't tell you,
what they couldn't have told you

is that when I left here,
things really sucked.

Then I got into the program at Foster,

and I worked harder
than I've ever worked,

and I became the best.

And then, Dr. Pierce, you happened.

I'm sorry?

During a cardio rotation,
I found the article

you wrote about awake VATS,
and I was riveted.

So I researched other things
you had written,

and it became very clear to me
that I'm not just a surgeon.

I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon,

and I had to find you
and learn from you.

And then I found out
that you'd been hired here,

and I thought, "Well, crap."

And then I realized, well, crap,

I have to figure out a way
to get back here somehow.

And now I'm in an O.R.
with the Maggie Pierce.

Sorry, Dr. Riggs, no offense.

No, none taken. I get it.

I just hope that whatever you heard...

well, I can't control that.

You know, when I first got here,

I was so miserable,
I tried to quit after two weeks.

People hated me so much,
I got punched in the face.

Had exactly one friend.

Kepner. She likes everybody.

Um, should we wait
for Jeremy to get back?

Uh, no, his stomach goes bonkers
when he's stressed out,

so he might be a while.

Uh, I wanted to talk to you
about scheduling the D&E.

Dr. Karev said there was a surgery.

Why aren't we doing that surgery?

Because it's very risky to you,
to the baby.

I already have an expiration date.

Aren't we past a little
worried about some risks?

If we did this,

if we could remove the tumor
and keep your pregnancy intact,

by the time you deliver,

the cancer will have still grown
unchecked for six months.

It'd be too far along by then
for us to treat it.

I mean, you would literally

be sacrificing your own life
for your child's.

I can see it, you know?

See what?

Jeremy pushing our kid in the swing,

touching his toes
when they're in the sky.

And the baby thinks it's so funny.

I can see them growing older together,

getting to the good stuff.

Jeremy showing him "Star Wars"
for the first time.

"Episode IV," 'cause you
can't start anywhere else.

High school, college...

his first apartment.

Jeremy's there, and he's the best dad.

I picture that, and all
this crap is for something.

A happy ending.

I die, but there's something good still.

There's something good to see.

I picture it your way,
and everything goes black.

There's nothing.

Only death.

If this is the only chance
that my baby has to survive,

I am not looking for a guarantee.

I'm looking for a chance.

Where'd you take Veronica?

She's in pre-op.

I was explaining to Jeremy what
to expect after her Whipple.

Thank you, Dr. Bailey, for everything.

Have you seen, um, a hoodie?

Veronica's hoodie. It's black.

Had a hood.

I was looking for it and, um,
Dr. Bailey came up and...

- You sure she left it here?
- No, I'm not.

I'm not sure at all because
I wasn't paying any attention.

So who knows? Who the hell
even knows where it is?!

Oh, I can't... I can't do this.

I can't raise a kid.

Not by myself, not without her.

This was a good idea because we had it,

because we were gonna do it.

She's the one that thinks of
things, who keeps track of things.

I'm in charge of fun ideas.

She's in charge of, like, common sense

and where the freaking hoodie is!

The next hoodie I lose,
my kid might be wearing it.

What if my kid is wearing the hoodie?

Well, I've worked with a lot
of parents, a lot.

There's only one trick.

What's the trick?

Show up. That's it. Be there. Be around.

It's what you're doing for
your kid and his mom now,

and you're already good at it.

Give yourself a break.

She's my best friend.

She's always been there.

Always.

You ready, Veronica?

Is Dr. Karev gonna be
in the surgery, too?

Uh, he's needed in the clinic.

Then will you tell him
"thank you" for me?

The accident caused damage
to a weak spot in his brain.

We tried to repair it,

but Robbie went into
cardiac arrest on the table.

No.

I'm so sorry.

We did everything we could.

Mrs. Reeves.

Laura.

If there's anything that we can do...

I wish it was you.

It should've been you.

It should have been you!

Should've been you!

Mrs. Reeves.

Mrs. Reeves, come with me, please.

You want to talk about it?

I'm just waiting to hear
how surgery goes,

so I got some time to kill.

Or not. I'm cool either way.

Or maybe just sit.
Uh, Sometimes sitting helps.

I'll just go.

I had a baby.

A baby boy.

I had a son.

Had?

When I was living in L.A.,

um, he was born with anencephaly but...

without a brain.

So he lived for, um...

43 minutes.

And I held him.

I got to hold him.

And then it was time.

And he was...

He donated all of his organs.

And then I let him go.

And it almost killed me.

I didn't know.

No, you wouldn't. Um...

I never told my family.
Not... Derek, not Meredith.

No one.

I haven't told Owen all of it.

And I don't think I can.

He wants a family so bad.

How do I tell him that...

He won't look at me the same way.

Are you kidding?

He's gonna hate me.

I don't think so. It's Hunt.

I took a pregnancy test last night.

I, um... I thought I might...

And, uh, as I sat there
waiting for the result,

I just watched him get
more and more excited.

He wanted it so badly.

And the longer I sat there,
the more I felt like...

I was dying.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move.

And when that stick was negative,

Owen's heart broke.

And...

I was so relieved.

I could breathe again.

See.

Now look me in the eye and
tell me that he won't hate me.

Thank you.

Hey! I'm sorry. I'm sorry
if I was weird earlier.

I was just... I didn't know you were
coming back, so I was a little thrown.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been thrown all day.

Yeah. But it is good to see you.

I saw that you went into fetal medicine.

That's very impressive.

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

I'm gonna get these labs to Dr. Riggs.

I will see you around.

Bye.

You okay?

I can't stop thinking about it.

I watched Robbie stand there
and talk to his dad.

I mean, he was fine.

Then he wasn't.

Hi, baby.

Just... April, it's secure, I'm sure.

I know, I know.

I just wanted to double-check.

Yeah.

One second.

Yep. Looks okay.

DeLuca!

Hey, um, did you hear from
your lawyer about a trial date?

Yeah, it's, uh, it's coming up soon.

Oh. Good night.

Wait. Wait. What's up?

Nothing.

Try again. What's up?

We shouldn't talk
about the case anymore.

Wait. What?

I know you're talking
with Karev. I saw you.

And after all that stuff you said

about how you guys never talk anymore?

We were working on a case in the clinic.

I didn't exactly have a choice.

What? You think I'm some sort of
double agent, and I'm...?

No. No, I don't think...

You just... You pick the bad guy.

So, the guy who hurts you
or who hurts other people,

and you deserve better.

Maybe you can't see that, but I do.

So, when I see you with him, I just...

Whatever. I, uh, I gotta go.

Hey, I'm about to head out.
You gonna be long?

I thought maybe I'd throw something
on the grill, and...

Oh, yeah, uh, no.

I have a cervical spine
dislocation that just came up.

I, uh, will be awhile.

Oh, uh, well, you know,
I'm not hungry. I can wait.

You shouldn't.

Um, I'll be pretty late,
so don't wait up, 'kay?

Um, I'm sorry.

They were supposed to
tell you not to wait.

I had a Whipple.

I know. I waited anyway.

We need to talk.

You're right. We do.

Because I'm not firing Alex Karev.

You think this is lenient.

You think this is about
my personal feelings.

Y-You're right.

You don't train a surgeon

without becoming personally involved.

A-At least, I hope not!

Now, I've made mistakes,
and those who trained me

afforded me the opportunity to grow,

and I'm damn sure
continuing that tradition

with a surgeon as good as Karev!

So Alex Karev stays right where he is!

When someone you love
is in physical danger,

finding the strength you need
to save them is easy.

That's fine.

I'm sorry?

It's fine. Karev can stay where he is.

We have a much bigger problem
than Karev.

After this morning, I started
looking into Alex's record,

and Ben Warren's, and this Leah Murphy,

and all these people
who got second chances.

April Kepner, Meredith Grey.

And I wondered,
why did they need chances?

Why did they screw up
in the first place?

I'm sorry. I don't see what you're...

We used to be the leading
education program

on the whole West Coast.

So why would a Leah Murphy fail here

only to thrive somewhere else?

It's how we're teaching.

There is a fundamental flaw

in how we are teaching our residents.

And we have got to fix this.

You and me.

And Dr. Webber.

The residency program
is your husband's department.

I know. I know it is.

But sometimes the threat isn't physical.

Sometimes it goes deeper.

In which case,
no instincts can save you.

No superhuman strength.
No adrenaline rush.

You didn't call, you didn't text,

you definitely didn't come home early.

I had to check on a patient.

How did that go?

Fine. She's still gonna die, though.

How did court go?

Fine. Not a big deal.

You can't power your way out
from under the crashing car.

I want waffle Sundays.

Am I supposed to know what that means?

Well, every Sunday,
I want to do waffles,

like a family, all of us...

you, me, the kids, Pierce,
everybody, all together.

Okay.

I want to do that as long as we can

before, you know, I go away.

It's important to me.

Okay.

And Amelia. She should come, too.

You need to be nicer to her.

You need your sisters.

I'm not gonna always be around.
You're gonna need them.

All you can do is sit...

She talks so much.

So let her. Okay?

Okay?

Okay.

...and wait...

Do I have to help make the waffles?

That's my thing.
Stay out of the kitchen.

...and wish things were different.