Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 12, Episode 6 - The Me Nobody Knows - full transcript

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According to this man's family,
he was not a smoker.

But the truth is,
he smoked two packs a day

in his car for 20 years

while his wife and children
slept.

Sometimes the patient's shame
is the elephant in the room.

They try to hide it from us.

But you can't hide
from a surgeon,

because the body doesn't lie.

The truth is right here,
for everyone to see.

And it doesn't need to say
a single word.

So, uh... Deluca and I
are basically not talking.



Just like you two.

Only different.

Obviously. [ Exhales sharply ]

[ Clears throat ]

Yeah, I mean, we say "hi,"

but, uh... There's no talking.

I mean, after the amazing sex.

Once you've had that,

you would think it would be
easier to have a conversation.

So...

That woman starts today...
The resident from dillard.

Do you want to talk about that?

'Cause you should.

It doesn't burn when I pee
anymore.



[ Elevator bell dings ]

It's your first day.
H-how do you... how...

It's okay.

You don't have to do that.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Hi.

Can you guys tell me how to
find out whose service I'm on?

I mean, which attending?

You should ask her.

I'm probably not qualified
to answer that.

Just check your e-mail.

Thank you.

As you know, transfer residents

traditionally do
their first rotation

with the chief of
general surgery, which is you,

and, as you also know,
our newest transfer,

Penelope Blake,
is starting today.

So... You understand how this...
Could have happened...

What is "this"?

Dr. Blake is on your service.

However, um, Dr. Webber
has offered to take over.

Or I can. You just say the word.

I'll take Blake.

You don't have to.

I'm chief of general.
It's the job.

You sure?

Of course. I'll do it.

Uh...

Uh, s-sir?
Sir, y-you can't park there.

Oh, no, I'm not parking.
I'm just stopping for a sec.

No, this is for patients only.

Yeah, yeah, I got a patient.
No worries.

[ Sighs ] All righty.

Well, we're a little late,
but we're here.

You ready for this?

Yeah.

Jackson:
Did this case a year ago.

Looks amazing.

And we're doing something
like this again today? Yeah.

April's bringing in a kid from
Jordan with ollier's disease.

You can see,
these are the enchondromas.

Cartilaginous tumors.

They... they grow from the
growth plates, right? Exactly.

Which is why you're gonna want
to do a wide local excision,

expose the bone
so I can get in there

and reconstruct the hand...

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I will?

I'll dissect the tumors?

I thought so.

If you're up for it.

[ Chuckles ] Hell yes, I am.

April: Are you ready?
They're on their way up.

Uh, why don't you head up
to peds, help him get settled?

Yeah.

Thank you for doing this.

Listen, it's a great case.
And it's just a resection.

He's such a sweet kid.

He's an amazing kid.

He's been through hell
in Jordan,

and... and he just
never gives up.

Since he lost his family, he's
been living at the hospital,

and we just... we give him
all these odd jobs to do and...

April, you can stop selling him.

Okay? It's happening.

We are doing it, so...

Good. Just... I just...

Thanks for putting our stuff
aside, and...

[ clears throat ]
Let's go see him.

Yes.

I am...

I understand
I'm on your service today.

That's right.

D-Dr. Grey, I just want to say,

I don't want today to be
awkward or uncomfortable.

So don't make it
awkward or uncomfortable...

Like this, right now.

[ Pager beeps ]

If there's anything that I...

Consult in the pit.
We're walking.

Robert Matthews, 30s,
fell down two flights of stairs.

Possible l.O.C.

He's been complaining
of abdominal pain.

I can arrange for a head C.T.
or page neuro.

All I need is an ultrasound.

No! Oh!

Whoa, whoa! Calm down. Okay.

No, I-i have to go!

Okay.

[ Grunting ] Relax!

I did something bad...
Really bad... and I...

Where am I?

How'd I get here?

Relax.
You fell down some stairs.

I was trying to get up
to the choir loft.

Choir loft?

I'm the pastor at first
lutheran, and I had...

There was an accident.

I accidentally...

Oh, god. I have to go!

Hey.

Okay, listen, Robert,
you have to calm down,

or you're gonna
make this worse, okay?

It's not okay!

I sent it to everyone.

Sent what?

The church bulletin.

I went to attach the video
of the youth volleyball game,

and... I've been
seeing someone... a woman...

A nice, but...
Sort of adventurous woman.

But nice and...

Okay, now you lost me.

I attached the wrong video.

[ Gasps ]

You sent a sex tape?

To my entire congregation.

Oh, good god!

Yeah, can we not talk
about him right now?

I rode on a bus,
a train, a plane,

three cars, and a helicopter.

April: That's amazing!

Um, Kamal, I want you
to meet Dr. Avery.

He's gonna perform your operation.
Hi.

You are... The guy?

[ Chuckles ]

"The guy"? Um...

There she is! The machine!

Nathan!

Hey. [ Chuckles ] Oh, man! Hey!

Thank you, thank you, thank you
for bringing him here.

Hey, come on. Of course.

Nathan and I worked together
on my last tour.

Dr. Riggs, this is Jackson... Dr.
Avery. Oh.

Yeah, Nathan Riggs. Hey.

Hey. Trauma surgeon?

Cardiothoracic, but over there,

it's pretty much all trauma,
you know?

Sure. Sure, yeah.

Dr. Riggs! He is the guy!

[ Laughs ]

What is "the guy"?

The first time we met Kamal,

keps said, "I know the guy
who can fix your hands,"

so ever since, he's been talking
about meeting "the guy."

Well, Kamal,
let's take a look, huh?

[ Breathes deeply ]

Ohh.

Okay. Let's get this guy
up here.

All right. Look at this.

Okay.

Uh-huh.

You can fix them?

That's the plan.

You never told me
it was this advanced.

The tumors are massive.

Okay, maybe I downplayed it
a little.

You downplayed it?!
This looks impossible!

I don't understand.
You sent him the scans, right?

Didn't you see the scans?

She told me
the scans were lost in Jordan.

I didn't want him
to see the scans.

Wait. What?

Keps, what the hell?!

You lied!

If you had seen the scans,
you might have said no,

and I wanted you
to meet that little boy.

And he's here now.

So how do we help him?

Hey. So, Blake's
on Meredith's service?

Uh, looks like it.

She gonna be all right?
I don't know.

We haven't spoken
since the party.

She feels like
I'm on Meredith's side.

And I am, you know?

But it doesn't mean
I'm not on penny's side, too.

And now Meredith's not even
talking to me, so win-win!

[ Chuckles ]
[ Elevator bell dings ]

Oh, god.

78 new messages?

[ Grunts ]

They know.

They all know.

What's your assessment?

Well, I think...
Not you... Blake.

Ultrasound showed fluid
in morison's pouch.

We should get an abdominal C.T.

And what are we looking for
on the C.T.?

We need to rule out bleeding
from the liver or the spleen.

We should also evaluate
the retroperitoneal space.

If there's active bleeding
on the C.T.,

we set him up for an ex-lap.

Are you forgetting anything?

Uh, we cleared his c-spine,

we sent blood out
for a trauma panel, tox screen,

alcohol levels.

And?

And, uh...

Order a type and crossmatch.

Oh. Of course.

Obviously. I-i skipped that.

Okay, well,
let's not skip steps.

We're a level I trauma center.

I need to know
what dillard taught you.

Let's fill him with fluids
and prep him for a C.T.

[ Curtain rattles ]

I didn't lie. I...

You bent the truth a bit.

Until it broke.

It was a good lie. [ Scoffs ]

Okay, it was a bad lie,
but for a good reason.

You know, you haven't been
saying yes to anything lately...

Not when it comes from me.

Look at the scans, April.

Okay, these areas are
pure cartilage, right?

They probably destroyed any bone
that was in their path.

Guys, we don't even know

there's anything resembling
hands underneath these things.

Can you even repair the tendons
and the neurovascular bundles?

That's doubtful.

Well, Hopkins and case western
did similar cases.

They... they reconstructed
using bone grafts.

Oh, so have I,
and you know those cases

are nothing compared to Kamal's.

April, he's saying no.

[ Sighs ] Look, we'll just keep
looking until we find someone.

And they will all say
the exact same thing.

Thanks.

Thanks for taking the time.

Look, I'm not saying no.

I'm saying I...
Will do some biopsies

so that we can all
get a full picture

of what it is
we're dealing with here.

[ Sighs ]

Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

I heard there was a bad driver
in the house.

[ Chuckling ] Uncle Richard!

[ Laughter ]

Man, you look... Bald.

[ Chuckles ] And you look old.

[ Both laugh ]

"Uncle Richard"?

Yeah, Adele and I knew Paul
and his late wife, Lois,

before we got married.

Bumpy and I go way back.

"Bumpy"? Why "bumpy"?

Uh... Hey.

Morning, Angela.

[ Chuckles ]

Uh...

Tell me about the accident.

How did it happen?

All I know is
I pressed the brake,

but the damn car kept going.

Right into a tree.

[ Gasps ]

Yeah, she's got a severely
displaced clavicular fracture

and a weak pulse
in her right arm.

How about Paul?

I'll be fine.
Angela got the worst of it.

Still, I want to work you up,
too, just to be safe.

So I'll go ahead
and schedule that C.T.A.

That sound good to you, bumpy?

That'll be quite enough of that.

Sorry.

Dr. bumpy.

[ Both laugh ]

Tell me what you see.

Retroperitoneal fluid.

Around what? Be specific.

The right kidney.

It's a grade iv injury
with an active extravasation.

We are gonna need to do
an ex-lap.

Should I call upstairs?

What do we have?

Uh, patient came in
with a head lac, g.C.S. Of 14,

loss of consciousness
at the scene...

Can you clear the head C.T.

So we can take him up
for an ex-lap?

There's no shift,
contusion, or bleed.

It's a mild concussion.

I'll do a quick exam,
but he's cleared for surgery.

Is this the pastor
who gave his congregation

a, uh... Special blessing?

Word travels fast.

All around the hospital.

Yeah, I bet the pews
will be full on Sunday.

Monitor for any neuro deficits.

I will do another check,
post-op.

Blake, get him ready
for transport.

Edwards, show her where it is.

It's not enough to have her here
in the same building.

You invited her
on your service, too?

I am trying to rise above.

And you should, too.

No, you should have ended it
that night.

[ Sighs ]

Forget it.

It was better
when we weren't talking.

As I feared, the biopsy showed
precancerous cells in the tumor.

Both sides.

[ Sighs ]

Okay. Then we need
to get in there a.S.A.P...

April, listen, there is no clear
way to excise all the tumor.

So I have to recommend...
Amputation.

Of both hands.

No.

It is his best shot
before it progresses to cancer.

No. I brought him to you
to save his hands.

This is how we save his life.

Well, I don't know.

I don't see
how he survives over there

with no hands and no one
to take care of him.

I understand. I'm sorry.

I could have told you sooner
if I had all the information.

You mean you could have
given up sooner.

Yes, you're right... because
there's nothing to be done.

You could try!

You could make an effort

instead of just giving up
and walking away!

And you don't think I want to?

All right, we're not doing this.

Could you leave us alone
for a second, please?

Oh, absolutely, I'm gonna leave,

and I'm gonna take Kamal
with me, all right?

'Cause this isn't
about you two! Okay?

This is about a little boy who
had to see his family murdered,

who saw his home
burnt to the ground,

who would've been taken
as a child soldier

if it wasn't
for his deformed hands.

All right,
he doesn't have the time

for you guys
to be working out your crap!

He deserves
the best care he can get,

and I'm gonna make sure
he finds it.

Why'd you even bring him to me?

You saw the scans.
You're a good surgeon.

You knew this was hopeless.

I wasn't hopeless.

I don't know why you are.

Because there's nothing here
to save.

[ Sighs ]

What's the trickiest part
of a partial nephrectomy?

Well, I think it's essential
that... not you... Blake.

Mobilizing the colon quickly

to get adequate exposure
of the kidney.

By your third year,

you should know this surgery
inside and out.

I do. Okay.

So you are gonna
walk me through this.

Your hands are my hands,

and my hands do not like
making mistakes.

Are you ready?

I am. Yes, I'm ready.

With what? Because I have
nothing in my hands.

Right. Uh, 10 blade.

10 blade.

Maggie: C.T.A. results
showed an injury

to an artery in Angela's chest.

She's on her way to pre-op now.

She doesn't want you to worry,
and neither do I.

[ Sighs ]
You sound just like bumpy.

You have to tell me
why you call him "bumpy."

[ Laughs ] Well, that's 'cause,

back in the day,
when we were in college...

Got your results back.

Oh, you hurt your foot?

No, no, it's fine.

It's... Pins and needles,
is all.

It's... it's, uh...
It's just a little numb.

It'll go away.

I don't think it will...
Not by itself.

Your labs show
elevated hemoglobin a1c levels.

And your blood glucose level
is very high.

You're diabetic.

But you already knew that.

Listen, bumpy, I've been taking
better care of myself.

Angela doesn't know, and... and
I want us to keep it that way.

That pain in your foot?

It's a symptom, Paul.

It's called diabetic nerve pain.

It could be the reason
you crashed your car.

Are you saying
I put my baby in the hospital?

No. It was an accident.

She loves you.
She'll understand.

Just tell her...

Do you have any children,
Richard?

Do you?

No. No, I don't.

So you don't know a damn thing.
You can't possibly understand.

Please, just...

Just take care of
my little girl, and leave me be.

I'll let you know as soon
as Angela's out of surgery.

And now
Jackson wants to amputate.

He won't even try.
He said it was hopeless.

He... he asked me why I even
brought Kamal to him.

[ Chuckles ]

What?

Well? Why did you?

I mean, the scans were so bad,
you had to lie about them.

You lied
about a little boy, April.

I'm s... what...
What are you saying?

[ Sighs ]

Nothing. Sorry.

W...

I'm saying,
I know what it's like

when it feels like
everything's coming apart

and you need something
to pull it together.

I just...

I know.

Are you sure?

Well, maybe you can show them
to Rogers.

Yeah, I'd appreciate it.

All right, call me back.
Thanks, Charlie.

Riggs?

Hunt.

What are you doing here?

April Kepner and I
met in Jordan.

I've been working with the
relief effort in Afghanistan...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are you doing here?

We have a patient
with ollier's disease.

Brought him in to your hand guy.

And then you're leaving.

Yeah, well, maybe
a little sooner than I...

I'm not asking you, Riggs.
I'm telling you.

Nice catching up.

Incise gerota's fascia.

Now identify and debride
devitalized tissue.

Go on.

U-um...
Cauterize cortical bleeders

and establish hemostasis
before closure.

Now close using
a running absorbable suture

to avoid post-op fistulas.

You can even reinforce
using an absorbable mesh.

Well, that's thinking ahead.
I like that.

Dr. Grey. Dr. Blake.

I thought I'd stop in to see
how the first day was going.

Thank you, sir. It's been...

Blake has been dictating
my surgical steps.

Great. How's she doing?
Not too well.

If I had done
what she just suggested,

the patient would have
major renal cortex bleeding.

What did you miss?

I... what?

What did I do that you missed?

Uh, debride,
hemostasis, close...

Come on. Figure it out.

I was watching you.
I didn't see.

Deluca,
can you fill in the blanks?

Um, Dr. Blake didn't tell you
to clamp the hilum.

Dr. Grey, the hilum is clamped.

It is, sir,
because I clamped it on my own.

I didn't skip a step,
and therefore,

the patient did not hemorrhage
and die.

Blake, hand your suction
to deluca.

Dr. Grey, I know this procedure.

You would've killed
the patient, Blake.

If your hands had been
my hands on this patient,

he'd be dead.

It's that simple.

Step away from the table.

[ Suction ]

What's wrong?

Dr. Grey is what's wrong.

I'm new.

And attendings are hard
on residents.

I know that. It's how we learn.

And she should be hard on me.
She should be grilling me.

And I should be able
to handle it.

But I let her in my head.
I froze.

I knew that surgery
backwards and forwards.

Okay, I can talk to her.

No. Don't.

I'm sorry. I just...

I will figure this out.

It's not your problem.

I sent the biopsies, the scans
to three other guys.

Any luck?

No.

Well, I'd like
to have been wrong.

Hey, look, I'm sorry
you got pulled into this, man.

April can be...

No, look, I know.

She's the machine.

She's the... What?

Oh, that's what we call her
over there... "the machine."

It never slows down,
never lets it get to her.

Just makes everyone else
want to work harder.

When she decides on something,
nothing's gonna stop her.

[ Chuckles ]
You can't call that one off.

No, that's true.

Thing is, she's usually right.

Go find out what Callie torres
is doing right now.

Oh. Angela's surgery is over?

How... how'd it go?

Did a primary repair
of the subclavian artery.

It went very well.

You can tell your friend
she's fine.

Maggie, uh...

About Paul...

You know, what he said
about my not having children...

Paul knew me with Adele,
my wife...

I know. I know.
It's... it's awkward. Awful.

No, you don't have to say
another word. I get it.

Okay.

I just wanted to make sure...

Don't... Say another word.

Are y-you...

No. No, no. Of course not.
This is, um, this is allergies.

Allergies?

Can we please pretend
that it's allergies?

Maggie, if I did something...

No, no. God, no.

You... you cheated on your wife.

Why should you admit that
to your friend?

Who would that help?

Not you, not him.

And, you know,
you don't owe me anything.

You and I, we're not...

I don't know what we are.

That's just the thing.

I don't exactly know
how to a-address you...

Yeah, you don't have to. But...

It's fine.

You have nothing
to be ashamed of... really.

But...

[ voice breaking ]
So, they would just be gone?

Both of them?

We would have to amputate them

right... right about here,
at the wrist.

You see?

On both sides.

Will I still carry things?

Well, let's talk
about that, buddy.

You'll be here when I'm done?

[ Sighs ] Yes. I promise.

You sure about this?

Nope. Not even a little bit.

We'll have a soda
waiting for you, okay?

[ Inhales sharply ]

Okay.

God.

All right, guys,
how we doing this?

Doing what?

I figure
we'll just debulk the tumor

from the dorsal surface,
and you can show me

what, if any,
usable bone we can find.

There's been a change of plans.

Yeah, judging by the scans,

I'm not sure there's anything at all.
I know.

It just might end up being
the world's slowest amputation,

but... Can't hurt to try.

Mm-hmm.

But... You told Kamal
that he wouldn't...

We lied.

We had to. Didn't want
to get his hopes up again.

He's gonna try?

Mm-hmm.

You lied! To me!

It was a good lie.
Come on. It was a good lie.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, my god.

He's gonna try.

We need to talk.

What's wrong?

I thought you were stepping up,
putting Blake on your service,

but what I saw in that O.R.
wasn't teaching.

She crapped out
on a basic surgical principle.

You were hazing her.

If she cracks under the pressure
of an emergent surgery,

she does not belong
in this program.

Blake was at the top
of her class at dillard.

Her references were impeccable.
I checked them myself.

You checked?

So you knew where she was from?

You checked her case record?

Her losses?

Did you know that she...

She was an excellent candidate.

You were the only reason
not to hire her.

And you didn't find that
reason enough?

Your labs are
within normal limits.

That's good news.

I'm on every website.

Got an e-mail from our bishop.

I'm fired.

Someone's threatening
to bring me up

on charges as a sexual predator.

I'm done.

We're supposed to be
a community.

I make one simple mistake,
and they destroyed me.

Put it away.

My mother saw it.

Her friends won't talk to her.

Everybody's trying
to figure out who the woman is,

as if it's
any of their business.

Thank the lord, she's okay.

At least her life
isn't over, too.

Nothing is over.

It's different for us...
The clergy.

People put their trust
in us... their faith.

We break that trust,
it stays broken.

I can't believe that.

[ Scoffs ]

You know who you are.

You can stand up to them
and have faith in that...

Have faith in yourself.

I have to believe that.

They say he doesn't give you
more than you can handle.

[ Chuckles ]

You say that, actually.

[ Chuckles ]

Yes, I do.

[ Inhales sharply ]

Ow.

[ Monitor beeping rapidly ]

Are you okay?

My stomach.

Nurse!

Coming!

There is a clot in his catheter.
His bladder's about to rupture.

I need a syringe
with some saline and heparin,

and page Dr. Grey... Now!

Right away.

[ Breathing heavily ]

You're okay.

April: Those nerves
are going everywhere.

How do you build something
from that?

[ Sighs ]

Well, for what it's worth,

I think you were right
about him.

He's good.

I know.

He's talking about divorce.

Well, you kind of saw that
coming, though, right?

He said "don't go." You went.

On some level...

It's not gonna happen.
It's not what I want.

I don't believe
it's what he wants.

[ Sighs ]

I know it's not
what god wants from me.

We're looking at a kid
who's lost his family,

his home...

Might even lose his hands now.

Maybe god has more on his mind

than judging whether
you get a divorce or not.

Don't you think
he has bigger fish to fry?

Jackson: I've got about 60%
of bone structure over here.

How's it going over there?

Callie: [ Groans ]

I only see
free-floating distal phalanges,

and some of them
are eroded by tumor.

Ben: We're approaching the carpals
or what's left of them.

Mm.

I'm looking for metacarpals
over here.

Do you see any viable bone
at all?

Well, uh...

Damn it.

What? What is it? Tell me.

Jackson, I'm s... I'm sorry.
I'm just... [ Sighs ]

There's nothing here. I...

No, no, no. Wait.
Just wait one second.

Well, no.
There's no bone to work with.

I mean, lookit. Look right here.

There's fingers,
and then there's nothing.

I don't... Come on. Come on.

Jackson, I think...

Just wait, okay?

I think that you were right.

I don't want to be right,
though. I just...

Let's keep going, please, okay?

Yeah, of course.

[ Motor whirring ]

Put that down!

[ Whirring stops ]
We are working here!

We're gonna keep going
until we are sure

that there is nothing left.

Now, do not pick that up again
unless I tell you to.

[ Sighs ]

Callie: Jackson?

I'm sorry. I was just...

No, no, no, Jackson,
look right here. Look.

I found something.
I found lunate bone.

This is good lunate bone.

What happened?

I think he clotted his foley.

I've flushed it five times.
I can't get a new one in.

He's hypotensive.

Get me a 50 cc
with a 14-Gauge needle.

You got it. How did this happen?

I was doing a post-op check,

and I saw that there was blood
in his bag.

How long did it take
for you to notice?

I don't...
Uh, we were talking...

You realize
if he goes into renal failure,

this will undo everything we did
in the O.R. today.

Dr. Grey, I didn't miss this.
I caught it.

It shouldn't have happened!

You froze in the O.R.,
you screwed up his post-op care!

Is there any part of this job
that you can handle, Blake?

I...

Get out. You're not touching
this patient.

You're off my service.

Get out!

Now!

Callie: All right.
The hamate bone's intact.

There's the trapezoid...

And...

There's the scaphoid.

That makes
four good carpal bones.

Which is not much.

And almost no metacarpal.

But we'd have a base
for a proximal phalanx,

so that might regenerate.

He is young, so...

Maybe we could sculpt the bone
and graft the gap in between?

We could wire them
with rib grafts.

I mean, then I could actually
make something out of that.

[ Gasps ]

Yes! Look! Look!
That's a fifth metacarpal head!

Look! Right there! [ Chuckles ]

That's a hand.
That is what we needed.

Under there, that's...
That is a hand!

We got a hand, people!

[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]

Whew!

Oh, my god!

Whew!

I can't friggin' believe it.

I did.

[ Chuckles ]

She is going to be fine.

And you should talk to her.

I don't even know if I can
look her in the eye now,

let alone talk to her.

30 years ago, I had an affair.

I cheated on Adele.

And I had a daughter.

I have a daughter.

Adele never told Lois or anyone
about the affair.

She never bashed me
to her family.

She lived with that pain
and embarrassment for years...

Alone.

She protected me,
and I'm ashamed of that.

It was a mess.

I made a mess.

And for as much pain
as I caused and felt,

I would have never believed

that anything good
would have come of it.

But it did.

She did.

And I am very proud to know her.

[ Sighing ]

You were right.
She doesn't belong here.

She almost killed a patient.

She can't be trusted... not in
the O.R., not with patients.

She's just dangerous.

Say it again.

What?

I was right.

I tried to rise above

because
it's the right thing to do.

But she has made
mistake after mistake,

and she just is impossible.

[ Woman clears throat ]

[ Toilet flushes ]

[ Water running ]

I'm sorry. It's the truth.

She is working at a hospital
that is above her skill level.

I have tried to teach her...
All day.

I have tried.

Oh, please.
You're being a bully.

And you've gone out of your way
to make her...

You don't teach by shoving
someone else's face in the dirt.

That's not teaching.

That's just being mean
and... and small.

¶ There's a thousand words
that I could say ¶

leave me alone.

¶ To make you come home ¶

[ chuckles ]
Since when do you pray?

I'm not.

Or talk to god or whatever.

I'm not talking to god.

Well, you talk to Tequila.

I'm talking to Derek.

Oh.

Okay, I'll go.

I'm trying.

I tried to rise,
I've tried to teach her,

but I just... [ Inhales deeply ]

Don't think I can.

I thought he might know

what I'm supposed to do
with her,

why she's here.

I thought
maybe he could tell me.

So, I'm just
gonna sit here and...

Wait for some divine
intervention or whatever.

¶ Wishing
I could touch your face ¶

¶ but the truth remains ¶

[ pats back ]

¶ You're gone ¶

¶ gone ¶

¶ gone ¶

[ chuckles ]

They look like hands.

They are.

They're your hands, bud.

They're real hands!

[ Laughter ]

I can hold a ball.

Jackson: Yeah.

Take a little bit of time,
a few more surgeries, but yes.

What did we tell you?
He's the guy.

[ Chuckles ]

You are the guy.

Oh.

Ben: Aww.

[ Laughter ]

[ Whimpers ]

[ Chuckles ]

He never did tell me
why they call you "bumpy."

[ Chuckles ]

There was a dance
called the bump...

Before your time...

And I excelled at it.

[ Both laugh ]

You didn't tell him it was me.

Well, I feel,
if you want to tell people,

that's your decision, not mine.

I'm sorry. I'm still trying
to figure this out.

Okay.

But for the record...

I'd be fine with it if you did.

Very fine.

Noted.

[ Mid-tempo funky music plays ]

[ Snapping fingers ]

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah.

April.

I, uh...

I never said thanks
for bringing Kamal.

I'm so sorry for lying, but...

God, you have no idea what
you did for that little boy.

No, no, no. You did it.

I mean, you brought him.

'Cause I knew you could do it.

Okay.

We did it.

Just... Thank you.

Do you want to go...

Nathan: Hey.

You ready?

Um, Nathan's leaving tomorrow,

so Bailey was gonna
take us out for drinks.

She wanted to hear war stories.

Yeah.

Um, but I could just tell them
that I-i don't have to go.

Oh, no, no. Come on. You guys...
You guys go celebrate.

Well, come with us.
Yeah, come on.

I owe you a drink.

Another time.

Really, you guys have fun.

¶ I think I did it again ¶

I didn't want Blake here.
I fought it.

Then why did you hire her?

Because I've been accused
of coddling you,

and I didn't want to do that.

I didn't think you'd want me to.

That was one reason.

I didn't want you here, either.

When you were accepted
to this program,

I didn't know how I was gonna
look at you every day...

And be reminded of the best
and worst times of my life.

And you walked in,

the spitting image
of your mother.

Talented, smart...

Here... every day.

And I decided
that wasn't fair to you.

I decided to put aside
my personal feelings to...

Rise above.

And I'm glad I did that.

Every day.

He would have said
the same thing.

Derek... he probably
would have even liked her.

[ Sighs ]

¶ You see I'm a fool ¶

¶ in so many ways ¶

excuse me.
I'm looking for a patient.

Robert Matthews?

Are you his family?

No, I'm hi...
Uh, we work together.

Or worked together.

I'm the choir director
at our church.

Oh. You're the...

Oh. God. You saw it.

[ Clears throat ]

Well, I mean,
of course you saw it.

All of America saw it.

Okay, he doesn't deserve this.

It's not fair that he's
all of these amazing things,

and... And this one mistake

is all anybody's
even gonna think about him.

Look, can I see him, please?

I want him to know that...

You know, he's got me, at least.

¶ Got lost in this game,
oh, baby ¶

¶ oops, you think I'm... ¶

they say shame controls
every aspect of human behavior.

¶ I'm not that innocent ¶

¶ oops, I did it again ¶

it's about
who we believe we are.

[ Sighs ]

¶ Got lost in the game ¶

¶ ooh, baby, baby, oops ¶

this was a mistake.

[ Sighs ]

I don't think I can do this.

I don't think
that I want to do this.

¶ I'm not that innocent ¶

I kind of went off on Grey
about you.

Callie... Why?

Why are you making this harder?

I did what I should've done
at the party.

¶ ...but it doesn't mean
that I'm serious ¶

Callie, I get it.

They're your friends.

He was...

You're a surgeon.

We make mistakes.

We need to be forgiven.

¶ I played with your heart ¶

I will if you will.

¶ Got lost in the game ¶

and...

[ Sighs ]

[ Voice breaking ] I'm here.

If...

¶ I'm not that innocent ¶

if you are.

¶ You see, my problem is this ¶

I'm here, too.

¶ I'm dreaming away ¶

but in the end, you can't hide,

and the body doesn't lie.

¶ ...watching the days ¶

¶ you see I'm a fool ¶

the truth is right there
for the world to see.

[ Cellphone chimes ]

[ Chuckles ]

¶ ...my senses ¶

[ cellphone chimes ]

¶ That is just so typically me ¶

it's Grey.

She wants me all week.

Hmm.

She still wants to work with me?

¶ Got lost in the game ¶

or she still wants to ruin you.

[ Laughs ]

Yeah.

Yeah, it's definitely
one of those.

Come on.

¶ I'm not that innocent ¶

our shame can choke us, kill us.

¶ ...to your heart ¶

it can rot us from the inside...

If we decide to let it.

¶ You think
that I'm sent from above ¶

don't let that happen to you.

¶ I'm not that innocent ¶