Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - If Tomorrow Never Comes - full transcript
A woman with a massive tumor is admitted, with all the surgeons required to scrub in. In their absence, Meredith is assigned a patient with Parkinson's and, because Alex's pager is not working, Izzie is left in charge of the floor herself.
Previously
on Grey's Anatomy:
- We had sex, once.
- Go out with me.
You know you're my boss,
it's against the rules.
Do you like lzzie?
ls that what this is about?
She's not the one
l'm attracted to.
So there's a one.
Ever been attracted
to someone you couldn't have?
Meredith.
- Just coffee.
- Good.
- OK.
- OK.
[woman] Your mother's Alzheimer's
is advancing. While she's lucid enough,
- she needs to sign everything to you.
- Me?
Thanks for the coffee.
[Derek] So you blew me off
for a bottle of tequila.
That's not nearly
as much fun to wake up to.
- [knocking]
- Mind moving this tail wagon?
You're blocking me in.
[sighing]
[Meredith] A couple
hundred years ago,
Benjamin Franklin
shared with the world
the secret of his success.
''Never leave that
till tomorrow, '' he said,
''which you can do today. ''
- [? Jem: Save Me]
- [thunder rumbling]
[alarm buzzing]
This is the man
who discovered electricity.
You'd think more of us would
listen to what he had to say.
I don't know why
we put things off,
but if I had to guess,
I'd say it has
a lot to do with fear.
Fear of failure, fear of pain,
fear of rejection.
Wouldn't it be easier
to just ask her out?
[thunder rumbling]
[alarm buzzing]
- She's gonna be late.
- Maybe not.
- [lzzie gasping]
- We should wait for her.
Definitely not.
l'm not her mother,
and you are not her boyfriend.
Not yet, anyway.
Stop, OK? l told you
l'm not interested.
Life is short, George.
Do you really want to die
before you ever ask her out?
l do not want to ask her out.
Do you really want
to die a liar?
l'm not...
l'm not dying.
[Meredith] Sometimes, the fear
is just of making a decision.
Because, what if you're wrong?
What if you're making
a mistake you can't undo?
Crap.
Crap?
Hi. l'm late.
You're avoiding me.
Yes, but also late.
Oh, are we going to talk
about this?
No.
About us and Bailey
and what she saw?
l don't need to
talk about it.
l experienced it, naked.
This is getting complicated.
Complicated for me.
l'm the intern sleeping
with the attending.
Bailey isn't speaking
to me anymore.
Not that
that's a bad thing.
lf l was a better guy,
l'd walk away.
Yes, you would.
Do you want me
to be a better guy?
Yes.
No.
Crap.
l'm late.
Take your time.
Think about it.
[? Psapp: Chapter]
[elevator bell dinging]
That was definitely
worth being late.
[sighs]
Thanks.
ls this a...?
Should we talk about this?
Yeah, definitely.
- [Meredith] You're late.
- So are you.
l know, and l can't afford
to piss off Bailey any more.
Do you think
she told anyone?
- About you and McDreamy?
- Yeah.
No, he's her boss too.
lf they find out, what can they...?
Can they kick me out, or...?
No...
Not officially.
You'll just get edged out,
blacklisted, banned
from his surgeries,
passed over
for chief resident.
[sighing] lt'll be humiliating,
but you'll live.
l have to end it.
l definitely have to end it.
- l have to end it, right?
- Meredith, shut up.
What?
[Meredith] Did you seriously
just tell me to shut up?
Oh, please.
You got a hot doctor who likes
to make you open up, and say ''ahh.''
lt's the American dream,
stop whining about it.
No. No good can come from
sleeping with your boss.
- Cristina, you're late.
- So is Meredith.
[Meredith] Whatever
it is we're afraid of,
one thing holds true.
That, by the time the pain
of not doing a thing
gets worse than
the fear of doing it,
it can feel like we're
carrying around a giant tumor.
When we walk in this door,
you will maintain decorum.
You will not laugh,
vomit, or drop your jaw.
Are we understood?
[door opening]
- Why would we laugh?
- Oh, just you wait.
Good morning,
Miss Connors.
[Miss Connors]
Good morning.
What is it?
Tumor.
[Meredith] And you thought
I was speaking metaphorically.
[? Psapp: Nobody Knows]
Good morning, Annie.
How are you?
This is Dr. Bailey, and
these are my fellow interns.
Dr. Karev, we refer to
patients as ''mister''...
l told him
to call me ''Annie.''
''Miss Connors'' makes me
feel old and fat,
which l am,
but why feel that way?
[Burke] Good morning.
Annie, this is Dr. Burke.
[whispering] Awesome surgeon.
Dr. Karev.
Annie Connors is a 43-year-old
woman who presented last night
with progressive shortness of
breath the past three months.
Found to have
a very large tumor
of unknown origin pressed
against her diaphragm.
Stable vital signs.
Scheduled for CT
this morning, sir.
Thank you, Dr. Karev.
Are you at all claustrophobic?
[Annie] l've been housebound
for the last year.
How claustrophobic
could l be?
[Burke] All right. Dr. Stevens
is going to take you up for a CT.
lt'll give us a better look
at the tumor,
- and we'll know how to proceed.
- Could someone tell my mom?
She'll worry if she gets back,
and l'm not here.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
And would it be possible
for Alex to take me instead?
l mean, he...
He's just so fun to look at.
[chuckling] Annie.
[Burke] Sure.
Sure, Ms. Connors.
Excuse me.
[lzzie] How much do you
think it weighs?
[George] 60 pounds.
More. She's carrying
a whole extra person.
This one's going in the books.
l've got to get in.
l almost did. Have you ever
seen Alex like that?
He actually seemed sincere.
''Seemed'' being
the operative word.
He was on call
when she came in.
l am never leaving
this place again.
Let's move, people.
Ms. Connor's surgery,
should we choose to proceed,
will take most, if not all,
of the surgeons off the floor,
which means you people
will have to work extra hard
not to kill anyone,
'cause we won't be there
to fix your mistakes.
[man] Dr. Burke.
[woman over PA] Trauma team
to OR one. Trauma team to OR one.
l really want in on this.
l thought we weren't talking.
l'm not talking.
l'm just saying.
[sighing]
Find her mother,
get a family history,
and l'll tell Bailey.
[lzzie] Mr. Harper had
a coronary bypass yesterday.
His blood pressure,
currently 1 00l65.
lt was running low
overnight down to 70l30,
but responded to medication.
Postoperative labs show a crit
of 30 and normal coagulation.
Chest-tube output has halted
over the last two hours.
[Bailey] What's your plan?
Chest x-ray and check the tube
for possible occlusion.
Good. He's doing fine.
[exhaling] Thank you.
l know you think l like Meredith,
but l don't like Meredith.
What?
No. l like Meredith.
Obviously, l like Meredith.
l just... l just don't have
a thing for her.
OK.
lt's just
this morning...
l know you were
probably just teasing,
But l don't want you
to say anything to her.
We live together,
and that'd be awkward.
- George, stop talking.
- OK, then.
[elevator bell dinging]
'Morning.
Mr. Levangie,
this is Dr. Bailey
and her fine staff
of surgical interns.
Welcome to hell, kids.
[groaning]
Who's presenting?
Edward Levangie is
a 63-year-old man admitted
for pain management
for Dyskinesia.
He's been stable
since last night,
and responding
to the bolus injections.
- [Burke] lzzie, treatments?
- [lzzie] For Parkinson's disease?
Deep brain stimulation has...
Not for Parkinson's,
for spinal pain.
Oh, um...
lntraspinal catheter.
That way, he can have
constant pain medication.
Excellent.
This is Dr. Grey.
She's gonna prep you
for the procedure and assist.
[pager beeping]
Excuse me.
You make yourselves busy,
l'll catch up with you.
[woman] l'll see you over there.
Miranda.
Excuse me?
Well, that's your name, right?
lt's on your jacket.
All right, l'll just
call you Bailey then.
You think you're charming
in that talented, neurotic,
overly moussed hair
sort of way, good for you.
But if you think
l'm going to stand back
and watch
while you favor her...
- l don't favor her. She's good.
- l'm sure she is.
Can l point out that,
technically, l'm your boss?
You don't scare me.
Look, l'm not
going to advertise
your extracurricular activities
with my intern.
However, the next time l see you
favoring Meredith Grey in any way,
l'll make sure she doesn't see
the inside of an OR for a month.
Just for the sake of balance.
[elevator bell dings]
- We're all set, doc.
- OK.
There's going to be
a microphone in there for you
in case you get scared
or you want to get out,
but try not to do that,
because then we're going
to have to start all over again.
l'm fine. l'll be fine.
l know you're going to be fine,
because l'm going to be right
over there, waiting for you.
- All right?
- OK.
You ready?
Are you really ready?
Let's do this.
- [machine buzzing]
- See ya.
Oh, hey, man,
you got an extra battery?
Unbelievable.
- Oh, l know, right?
- l've never seen anything like this.
God.
Well, what l don't understand...
[over speaker]...is how
a person lets it get like that.
I mean, man,
that is a whole lot of nasty.
[man] Maybe she's afraid
of doctors. Poor thing.
[Alex] Poor thing? Please.
If you're afraid of doctors,
you take a pill.
She's just sick,
like, warped, you know?
Seriously, I don't know
how she lives with herself.
[laughing] Ugh.
Well, at first, we thought
she was just putting on weight.
When we realized
what was happening,
l tried to get her
to go to the doctor,
but she was scared.
And, the bigger it got,
the less she wanted to go.
And she never really felt
all that sick until last night.
She couldn't breathe.
Because the tumor
was crushing her lungs.
Yes, well, l called 91 1 .
lt just seemed like
the right thing to do.
You know, the right thing to do
would have been to call a year ago.
Thank you.
[Meredith]
OK, Mr. Levangie.
We're going to get you
more comfortable, OK?
l'm going to go downstairs,
and l'll be back up shortly.
- [grunting] OK.
- OK.
[woman over PA]
Cardiac perfusionist, 42 1 7.
Excuse me.
- l'm sorry, doctor...
- Grey.
My dad seems to like you.
He's always liked
skinny blondes.
ls that rude? l'm sorry.
l'm so tired.
ls there something...?
l was wondering
if you would talk to him.
About?
Brain surgery.
The doctor mentioned it,
and l've read about it online.
lf it worked,
it could help
with most of his symptoms,
not just his pain.
ls he a candidate?
He is, but he's afraid of it.
Surgery on his back, he can
understand, but his brain...
And there are risks.
- But his quality of life...
- There isn't any.
And, it keeps getting worse.
l'm getting married
next month.
l already lost my mom.
And l want him to walk...
l want him with me.
Maybe that's selfish, but...
You don't know what it's like
having a parent...
Watching him...
l do.
l do know what it's like.
l'll see what l can do.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
The right hemidiaphragm
is so high
that it's completely
displacing her lung tissue.
lt's infiltrated her
spinal canal in three places.
We should start there.
lt's going to take 3 or 4 hours
to get around those nerves.
l'd prefer to start in front,
and then flip her.
You never know
what vessels are involved.
l'm going to need
a good head start.
[Derek] lf l miss a step,
she's paralyzed.
lf l don't relieve the pressure
on her lungs, she'll be dead.
Do you think she really
wants to live?
Come on.
She's been housebound.
She's been living
under this thing,
just watching it grow for how long?
She doesn't seem stupid.
Doesn't even seem
all that scared.
Why would anyone wait this long,
unless they wanted to die?
People do things every day that
they know could kill them.
Doesn't mean
they want to die.
What are her chances
of surviving the surgery?
Slightly better
than if we do nothing.
So is it worth it?
Hey, come on.
You were already thinking it,
l'm just saying.
She's 43.
lt's worth a try.
[door opening]
Ha!
Morning.
[woman over PA] Dr. Moretti, 467 2.
Dr. Moretti, 467 2.
Dr. Shepherd.
Mr. Levangie,
the Parkinson's patient,
a good candidate for DBS?
Yes, but he's not interested.
OK, but l think it's worth
talking to him again, pushing him.
We're talking
about a brain surgery
that is performed while the patient
is awake, a risk of paralysis, death.
The patient doesn't want it. lt is not
my job to push him into anything,
and it's definitely not yours.
OK...
You're uncomfortable with my decision.
lt's best you don't scrub in.
- But...
- lt's minor. You won't be missed.
You know,
they call you the Nazi.
So l've heard.
[woman over PA] Dr. Conserva, 37 42.
Dr. Conserva, 37 42, stat.
[Burke] l won't lie to you.
The surgery is going to be
long and difficult,
but we have an extremely capable
surgical team, and l can...
Am l going to die?
There's always that risk,
but if we don't do the surgery...
l'll definitely die.
Yes.
Soon?
Yes.
- Mom, the room's clean.
- OK, honey, OK.
- Mom!
- She'll have the surgery.
- Mom!
- No. No, Annie.
She will have the surgery.
l guess l'll have the surgery.
l think that is
a very wise decision.
On one condition.
l don't want him there.
l'm sorry, Annie.
Did l upset you in some way?
lf he's in the surgery,
l'm not having it.
That's how l live with myself.
[Burke] OK, Miss Connors.
Dr. Karev.
- What the hell did you do?
- Nothing. l-l don't know.
Man. The mike
must have been on.
lf anything goes wrong, anything,
you are 60 percent more likely to be
sued if you've offended the patient.
l never would have
said that.
The mike shouldn't
have been on.
l didn't realize
she could hear me.
Now you won't realize
your chance to scrub in.
You're banned from the OR.
Mine or anyone else's. All week.
l got the history on the tumor.
lt's been growing
for a year and a half.
lt's the first time
she's even had it looked at.
lt's like she's fatally lazy.
[sighing]
Why doesn't she get banned?
Go prep Annie Connors
for surgery.
You're scrubbing in
with Cristina.
Really?
l mean, thank you. OK.
We just need to recheck
your labs and get an EKG,
so l just need
to take a little blood.
Dr. Burke is great,
and Dr. Bailey.
- l know you're probably scared.
- That's OK, kitten.
You can just do your job.
You don't have to talk to
the fat, nasty tumor lady.
l mean, l let it get this bad.
How much sympathy do l deserve?
Why did you let it
get this bad?
You're the first person since
l got here to ask me that.
Well, l guess it's just like
the elephant in the room.
- Elephant?
- l mean...
lt's more like a giant sow,
don't you think?
Every time l went to
the hospital, someone died.
All four of my grandparents,
then my dad.
My best friend's mom,
my baby sister.
They all went in,
never came out.
So l put it off.
You know, you're not the
only one to put things off.
l never do anything till
the last possible minute.
Like what?
Well...
l've had this thing for my
roommate since, like, day one,
and l just...
l can't tell her.
She probably wouldn't
go out with me, anyway, but...
How do l know that
for sure,
if l don't ever ask?
Seriously?
You're equating your pathetic love life
with my record-breaking tumor?
Seriously?
[ ? The Ditty Bops:
Walk or Ride]
lt's just that he blatantly
favors me in front of her
and then blatantly dismisses me.
How do you know
he was favoring you?
Look, you've got a brain.
You got into this program.
Shepherd munching your cookies
doesn't mean you didn't deserve
what you worked for.
But he's making me look bad.
l have to end it.
- Right.
- lt's over.
ls it true you get
to scrub in on that tumor?
- Don't sit here.
- You get to scrub in?
How psyched are you?
On a scale of one
to ecstatic, ecstatic.
l think Burke wants to get
into your scrubs.
Why are you sitting here?
He kicked me off that surgery
for the same crap you pull every day.
lf l stuck this fork into his thigh,
would l get in trouble?
Not if you make it
look like an accident.
- Hey.
- Hi!
Thank God, man.
l'm drowning in estrogen here.
You look... ls everything OK?
Shepherd's a jackass.
Really? l think
he's kind of great.
He reamed her out
in front of Bailey.
- [lzzie] Why?
- 'Cause he's a jackass.
- Oh.
- [tray clattering]
Well, bad days are... bad.
[George] Maybe tonight,
uh, if, you know,
if you drink alcohol,
l mean, we could
all of us, l mean,
go out and drink alcohol...
Because of the bad day.
[pager beeping]
l got to go.
Dude.
Shut up.
[laughs]
How's your back?
- Still good.
- Good. How are you?
Can you lean forward for me?
l want to check something.
- Does that feel OK?
- Yeah.
- Right here?
- Did you page?
Mr. Levangie, have you given
any more thought
about the other surgical options
we discussed this morning?
What?
Why would l?
l already told you no.
l'm letting you cut
into my back,
But that's not enough
for you.
All you guys ever want
to do is cut.
Dad, just listen
to what he has to say.
l already listened.
Sir, there's a very small
window of opportunity here.
Once the Parkinson's progresses
to a point of dementia,
you're no longer
a candidate for DBS.
And when l'm no longer
a candidate,
is that when you people
will leave me the hell alone!
What?
Do l have to start drooling,
and forget my name
to get a little
peace and quiet?
All right.
l'll check back with you later.
Try to get some rest.
Dad, you're being unreasonable.
The doctors are only
trying to help you.
lt's my damn life,
and it's my damn brain.
You want me to let them
cut up my brain
while l'm lying here awake,
for what?
- Dad!
- l'll be at your wedding.
l will sit in the back.
Your uncle will walk you
down the aisle.
l know it's not perfect,
but it's life.
Life is messy sometimes.
l know that.
[sighs]
lf she knows,
then what the hell are we
still talking for, huh?
Why in hell can't she drop it?
lt is your life.
But it's her life too.
And you have a chance
to get better here.
And all she's asking
you to do is try.
lf they pull this off,
l'm totally calling Oprah.
You two been working out?
Sometimes l jog,
and l try to take
the stairs whenever possible.
[Cristina] Why?
See that large pile of tumor?
You're going to be retracting it
for the next 1 4 hours,
so l'm just saying l hope
you have strong backs.
Dr. Shepherd.
Yes?
Mr. Levangie has agreed
to DBS.
lf we do it today.
lf he leaves,
he won't come back.
Don't worry,
Dr. Shepherd.
lt'll take hours before we
get around to the spine.
- l'll page you.
- All right, then.
Let's do it.
Dr. Bailey.
l didn't know...
...that he was my boss,
when l met him. l didn't know.
- l don't care.
- Really?
Oh, well, you sort of seemed
to not be talking to me, so l...
You see this,
what's happening right here?
This is the problem with
you sleeping with my boss.
Not whether or not
you knew him before,
but how it affects my day.
And me standing here
talking to you
about your sex life
affects my day.
And the longer this
little fling goes on,
the more favors you get
over the others,
who are fighting tooth
and nail just to make it
through this program
without any assistance.
When those people start
finding out what's going on
and they don't want
to work with you
and talk to you
or look at you,
and they start
bitching and moaning at me,
the more it affects my day.
So, no, Dr. Grey,
l don't care what you knew,
or when you knew it.
Are we understood?
- Yes.
- Good.
[Alex] This sucks.
l'm not a real
fan of yours, either.
Not you. This. Everyone
is scrubbed in somewhere.
Bright side, we have
the run of the floor.
Want to do it
in the stairwell?
l'm just saying you
never know what could happen.
[vomiting]
l'm changing.
l'll page you
if l need you.
You do that.
You are so my
favorite person today.
- [machine beeping]
- [doctors chattering]
Begin more suction.
We need to hang
another bag of O-neg.
Cauterizing the small bleeders
to keep my visual field clean.
God, is your back
killing you?
George, shut up.
We're in here.
[man] Hold it right there.
Mrs. Harper, let me show you
these chest films.
We were able to relieve the
obstruction of his chest tube,
so the buildup of fluid you see
should resolve itself soon.
Which translates as
he should be home in no time.
He was making waffles.
l'm sorry?
He was making waffles.
He was mixing the batter,
and...
and then,
he was on the floor.
lzzie, we need
a central line run in 204.
- Page Dr. Karev, will you?
- He's not answering.
[sighs] l'm so sorry.
l'll be back.
[pager beeping]
Like what you see, right?
[woman] Neuro sponge.
How you doing,
Mr. Levangie?
All right.
Drill bit's charged.
Where's blondie?
l'm right here.
Can't you see me?
l'm shaky.
l'm not blind.
Anything goes wrong here,
l'm blaming you.
OK, in that case,
l'll stay where you can see me.
[woman] We have to drill
a hole and try to find
the spot that controls
the motor function.
You can't see my brain
from there.
Aren't you supposed
to be learning something?
l'm good, right here.
- [woman] EEG waves look good.
- OK, Mr. Levangie.
Just take a couple
deep breaths.
- Focus on the pretty girl.
- [whirring]
[Derek] This is going to sound
really scary, but try and relax.
You shouldn't feel a thing.
- Any pain here? Here?
- No.
- OK.
- [pager beeping]
Dr. Stevens, l need you
to check the x-ray in 21 03.
21 1 8 needs post-op notes,
and Jane's wondering
if you want her to
start feeding 21 1 2.
l'm going on break.
OK, yeah, before you do that,
could you page Dr. Karev again?
- l already paged him.
- Again?
- [man] Irrigation.
- [woman] Little more pressure.
Excuse me.
How is it?
[man] Long and slow.
l don't envy those two.
They've been holding
that thing for eight hours.
Their arms have to be ready
to fall off.
[Burke] Look at the size
of this artery.
My God.
lt's as thick as a thumb.
You ever seen a vessel this size?
No.
This thing's just feeding
on all her blood.
We need more O-negative.
[woman] l'll call the blood bank.
[clinking]
[Burke] Damn it, O'Malley.
You want me to kill this patient?
No, l... Sorry.
l mean, is the art of retracting
just too much for you?
No, l was, uh...
Um...
l had an itch.
Way to go, George.
Nicely done.
Just keep trying, Mr. Levangie.
Mimic my motions.
You can do it.
You're doing great, Mr. Levangie.
Just a little longer.
Oh, damn it!
Take a breath and try again.
One more time,
Mr. Levangie.
The probe is almost in.
You'll know it
when we find the right spot.
[woman] Well, how about that?
[Derek]
There it is.
l'll be a son of a bitch.
[Derek] Bailey was on the warpath.
l was trying to protect you.
You trying to protect me
is why she's on the warpath.
You can't ask me to scrub in,
when l haven't earned it.
OK, OK.
You can't treat me like crap
when l haven't earned that.
l can take care of myself.
l got myself into this mess, and l...
And you'll get yourself out?
l don't... know that yet.
[pager beeping]
Don't let me keep you.
You did great work here today.
Dr. Shepherd.
Yeah?
Sorry l called you a jackass.
You didn't.
l did. Twice.
Tell you what, blondie.
lf you don't marry him, l will.
[pager beeping]
[pager beeping]
No, no, no, Jimmy!
No, no, Jimmy, no!
- What we got?
- Pressure plummeted to 64l22,
and he has runs of V-tach
that aren't perfusing.
CVP is sky-high.
- Give him dopamine, ten mikes.
- He's maxed out.
The resident was here an hour ago.
l can't reach him.
- Of course you can't.
- Do something! What's the matter?
- Get her out of here!
- No, no!
Mrs. Harper,
you have to get out of here.
Does he have
a myocardial ischemia?
No, it's a clot. Big one.
- Page someone.
- He'll be dead before they get here.
You have to open him up,
right here, right now.
- You said he was OK!
- Get out of here now!
You have to cut.
l can't. l've never seen it done.
l could kill him.
Do nothing,
you'll kill him faster.
- Your glove size?
- Six.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Take a breath, Dr. Stevens.
She has to move over there.
Walter, move out of the way.
Cut the stitches
and then the staples.
Don't let them fall
into the chest cavity.
Wait. l've never cracked
a chest before.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
No pulse. Wide complex rhythm.
l can't get this clot out.
l need more suction. l need more.
He's bradying down.
You have to get the clot out.
l can't get it.
Screw it. l'm using my hand.
[woman] Oh, God, look
at the size of that clot.
Anything?
No.
You have to massage
the heart, doctor.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, please.
Come on, Mr. Harper.
We have a pulse.
[lzzie panting]
OK, follow with suction.
[Shepherd]
How's it going?
lt's more intertwined
than the studies made it look.
[Bailey] l need another bag.
Call the blood bank.
We need more O-negative.
l'm down 1 0 units of blood,
and l haven't even flipped her yet.
Oh, wow.
Hmm.
Hold it steady.
Look at that.
Sponge.
How am l supposed to get
around that artery?
Let me call down
and see...
OK.
All right, then. Forceps.
Here you go.
Excuse me.
God, it's unbelievable.
Right.
How did she live like that?
Watch what you say.
You never know who's listening.
[laughing]
Look at George.
He looks like
he's about to fall in.
Are you really as shallow
and callous as you seem?
Oh, you want to go out
for a drink later
and hear about my secret pain?
Does that line ever work for you?
Sometimes.
Oh.
Must be because you look like that.
Like what?
[chuckling] So is that a yes?
No.
l can't. l'm seeing someone.
Look, if you don't want
to go out with me, just say so.
No need to lie.
Oh, OK.
Well, l don't want
to go out with you.
But l think l really
might be seeing someone.
[woman] Yeah.
No, it's up here.
It's up here.
It's up here.
We're still in the
middle of surgery.
Mr. Harper, the post-op
heart patient in 21 1 4.
l had to open
his sternotomy bedside.
- You what?
- [all] What?
What?
He had cardiac tamponade.
His chest films were clean
this morning. lt happened fast.
He was in PEA.
There was no time.
Go ahead. l got it.
We're OK here.
Yeah, l need some retraction.
- Pull back on the retractor.
- l got it.
You opened a heart bedside,
and you couldn't even page me?
Needed all the glory
for yourself, right?
l paged you 50 times.
Do you have any idea
what l have been through?
Oh, man. The battery.
l forgot to change it.
You forgot? You forgot?!
You are hateful!
You are a hateful, hateful, lazy,
arrogant, hateful man!
Hateful!
Never a dull moment
here at Seattle Grace.
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
Get right in there.
She can't afford
to lose this much blood.
Get me some suction.
l can't see what l'm doing.
Clamp, clamp, clamp, please.
ls there any blood
in the rapid infuser?
We're waiting on two units.
What do you mean, waiting?
We didn't anticipate
this blood loss.
We prepped double.
We've used it all.
- What did you cut?
- [Bailey] Nothing. lt just blew.
She came in
with too much damage.
The artery walls are too weak.
Annie, come on.
- Ten units of O-negative.
- l cannot see.
Give me your hand. Push down here.
Pull it towards you. Suction!
The pressure's dropping.
Where the hell is the blood?!
Somebody grab that.
Push it back, George. Come on.
[all panting]
Oh, God. Just squeeze it off
right there.
Here we go.
ls that O-negative for OR 1 ?
Uh-huh, OR 1 .
OR 1 , right? l got it! l got it!
Some suction, please,
in here, now.
- [flatlining]
- We're losing her now.
Look at this. Come on.
[flatlining continues]
Oh, come on! Come on!
[grunting]
Come on!
[panting]
[monitor switches off]
Time of death is 1 1 :42.
l got it!
[? Butterfly Boucher: Never
Leave Your Heart Alone]
[Meredith] The early bird
catches the worm.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Messy.
l'm sorry.
Don't be. You saved his life.
[Meredith] He who hesitates is lost.
We can't pretend
we haven't been told.
We've all heard
the proverbs,
heard the philosophers,
heard our grandparents
warning us about wasted time,
heard the damn poets
urging us to seize the day.
Still, sometimes,
we have to see for ourselves.
l'm not doing you
any more favors.
This was it.
l've been holding up
50 pounds of tumor
for the past 1 2 hours.
My back's
going to need traction,
and the patient
died anyways.
And you think
you did me a favor?
Look, l'm just...
What is this...
....that we're doing here?
What is it?
You need a definition?
You really want to be
that guy?
[Meredith] We have to make
our own mistakes.
Lock the door.
We have to learn
our own lessons.
Have you seen Meredith?
Save yourself the misery, man.
She's off the market.
What? No, that's not...
We're just friends.
Whatever.
But she's not. l mean,
if she was seeing someone,
l live with her, l would know it.
[Meredith] We have to sweep
today's possibility
under tomorrow's rug
until we can't anymore,
until we finally understand
for ourselves
what Benjamin Franklin meant.
That knowing is better
than wondering.
That waking is
better than sleeping.
l, um, know this place
where there's an amazing view
of sunrise over the ferryboats.
l have a thing for ferryboats.
l remember.
And that even the biggest failure,
even the worst,
most intractable mistake
beats the hell
out of never trying.
on Grey's Anatomy:
- We had sex, once.
- Go out with me.
You know you're my boss,
it's against the rules.
Do you like lzzie?
ls that what this is about?
She's not the one
l'm attracted to.
So there's a one.
Ever been attracted
to someone you couldn't have?
Meredith.
- Just coffee.
- Good.
- OK.
- OK.
[woman] Your mother's Alzheimer's
is advancing. While she's lucid enough,
- she needs to sign everything to you.
- Me?
Thanks for the coffee.
[Derek] So you blew me off
for a bottle of tequila.
That's not nearly
as much fun to wake up to.
- [knocking]
- Mind moving this tail wagon?
You're blocking me in.
[sighing]
[Meredith] A couple
hundred years ago,
Benjamin Franklin
shared with the world
the secret of his success.
''Never leave that
till tomorrow, '' he said,
''which you can do today. ''
- [? Jem: Save Me]
- [thunder rumbling]
[alarm buzzing]
This is the man
who discovered electricity.
You'd think more of us would
listen to what he had to say.
I don't know why
we put things off,
but if I had to guess,
I'd say it has
a lot to do with fear.
Fear of failure, fear of pain,
fear of rejection.
Wouldn't it be easier
to just ask her out?
[thunder rumbling]
[alarm buzzing]
- She's gonna be late.
- Maybe not.
- [lzzie gasping]
- We should wait for her.
Definitely not.
l'm not her mother,
and you are not her boyfriend.
Not yet, anyway.
Stop, OK? l told you
l'm not interested.
Life is short, George.
Do you really want to die
before you ever ask her out?
l do not want to ask her out.
Do you really want
to die a liar?
l'm not...
l'm not dying.
[Meredith] Sometimes, the fear
is just of making a decision.
Because, what if you're wrong?
What if you're making
a mistake you can't undo?
Crap.
Crap?
Hi. l'm late.
You're avoiding me.
Yes, but also late.
Oh, are we going to talk
about this?
No.
About us and Bailey
and what she saw?
l don't need to
talk about it.
l experienced it, naked.
This is getting complicated.
Complicated for me.
l'm the intern sleeping
with the attending.
Bailey isn't speaking
to me anymore.
Not that
that's a bad thing.
lf l was a better guy,
l'd walk away.
Yes, you would.
Do you want me
to be a better guy?
Yes.
No.
Crap.
l'm late.
Take your time.
Think about it.
[? Psapp: Chapter]
[elevator bell dinging]
That was definitely
worth being late.
[sighs]
Thanks.
ls this a...?
Should we talk about this?
Yeah, definitely.
- [Meredith] You're late.
- So are you.
l know, and l can't afford
to piss off Bailey any more.
Do you think
she told anyone?
- About you and McDreamy?
- Yeah.
No, he's her boss too.
lf they find out, what can they...?
Can they kick me out, or...?
No...
Not officially.
You'll just get edged out,
blacklisted, banned
from his surgeries,
passed over
for chief resident.
[sighing] lt'll be humiliating,
but you'll live.
l have to end it.
l definitely have to end it.
- l have to end it, right?
- Meredith, shut up.
What?
[Meredith] Did you seriously
just tell me to shut up?
Oh, please.
You got a hot doctor who likes
to make you open up, and say ''ahh.''
lt's the American dream,
stop whining about it.
No. No good can come from
sleeping with your boss.
- Cristina, you're late.
- So is Meredith.
[Meredith] Whatever
it is we're afraid of,
one thing holds true.
That, by the time the pain
of not doing a thing
gets worse than
the fear of doing it,
it can feel like we're
carrying around a giant tumor.
When we walk in this door,
you will maintain decorum.
You will not laugh,
vomit, or drop your jaw.
Are we understood?
[door opening]
- Why would we laugh?
- Oh, just you wait.
Good morning,
Miss Connors.
[Miss Connors]
Good morning.
What is it?
Tumor.
[Meredith] And you thought
I was speaking metaphorically.
[? Psapp: Nobody Knows]
Good morning, Annie.
How are you?
This is Dr. Bailey, and
these are my fellow interns.
Dr. Karev, we refer to
patients as ''mister''...
l told him
to call me ''Annie.''
''Miss Connors'' makes me
feel old and fat,
which l am,
but why feel that way?
[Burke] Good morning.
Annie, this is Dr. Burke.
[whispering] Awesome surgeon.
Dr. Karev.
Annie Connors is a 43-year-old
woman who presented last night
with progressive shortness of
breath the past three months.
Found to have
a very large tumor
of unknown origin pressed
against her diaphragm.
Stable vital signs.
Scheduled for CT
this morning, sir.
Thank you, Dr. Karev.
Are you at all claustrophobic?
[Annie] l've been housebound
for the last year.
How claustrophobic
could l be?
[Burke] All right. Dr. Stevens
is going to take you up for a CT.
lt'll give us a better look
at the tumor,
- and we'll know how to proceed.
- Could someone tell my mom?
She'll worry if she gets back,
and l'm not here.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
And would it be possible
for Alex to take me instead?
l mean, he...
He's just so fun to look at.
[chuckling] Annie.
[Burke] Sure.
Sure, Ms. Connors.
Excuse me.
[lzzie] How much do you
think it weighs?
[George] 60 pounds.
More. She's carrying
a whole extra person.
This one's going in the books.
l've got to get in.
l almost did. Have you ever
seen Alex like that?
He actually seemed sincere.
''Seemed'' being
the operative word.
He was on call
when she came in.
l am never leaving
this place again.
Let's move, people.
Ms. Connor's surgery,
should we choose to proceed,
will take most, if not all,
of the surgeons off the floor,
which means you people
will have to work extra hard
not to kill anyone,
'cause we won't be there
to fix your mistakes.
[man] Dr. Burke.
[woman over PA] Trauma team
to OR one. Trauma team to OR one.
l really want in on this.
l thought we weren't talking.
l'm not talking.
l'm just saying.
[sighing]
Find her mother,
get a family history,
and l'll tell Bailey.
[lzzie] Mr. Harper had
a coronary bypass yesterday.
His blood pressure,
currently 1 00l65.
lt was running low
overnight down to 70l30,
but responded to medication.
Postoperative labs show a crit
of 30 and normal coagulation.
Chest-tube output has halted
over the last two hours.
[Bailey] What's your plan?
Chest x-ray and check the tube
for possible occlusion.
Good. He's doing fine.
[exhaling] Thank you.
l know you think l like Meredith,
but l don't like Meredith.
What?
No. l like Meredith.
Obviously, l like Meredith.
l just... l just don't have
a thing for her.
OK.
lt's just
this morning...
l know you were
probably just teasing,
But l don't want you
to say anything to her.
We live together,
and that'd be awkward.
- George, stop talking.
- OK, then.
[elevator bell dinging]
'Morning.
Mr. Levangie,
this is Dr. Bailey
and her fine staff
of surgical interns.
Welcome to hell, kids.
[groaning]
Who's presenting?
Edward Levangie is
a 63-year-old man admitted
for pain management
for Dyskinesia.
He's been stable
since last night,
and responding
to the bolus injections.
- [Burke] lzzie, treatments?
- [lzzie] For Parkinson's disease?
Deep brain stimulation has...
Not for Parkinson's,
for spinal pain.
Oh, um...
lntraspinal catheter.
That way, he can have
constant pain medication.
Excellent.
This is Dr. Grey.
She's gonna prep you
for the procedure and assist.
[pager beeping]
Excuse me.
You make yourselves busy,
l'll catch up with you.
[woman] l'll see you over there.
Miranda.
Excuse me?
Well, that's your name, right?
lt's on your jacket.
All right, l'll just
call you Bailey then.
You think you're charming
in that talented, neurotic,
overly moussed hair
sort of way, good for you.
But if you think
l'm going to stand back
and watch
while you favor her...
- l don't favor her. She's good.
- l'm sure she is.
Can l point out that,
technically, l'm your boss?
You don't scare me.
Look, l'm not
going to advertise
your extracurricular activities
with my intern.
However, the next time l see you
favoring Meredith Grey in any way,
l'll make sure she doesn't see
the inside of an OR for a month.
Just for the sake of balance.
[elevator bell dings]
- We're all set, doc.
- OK.
There's going to be
a microphone in there for you
in case you get scared
or you want to get out,
but try not to do that,
because then we're going
to have to start all over again.
l'm fine. l'll be fine.
l know you're going to be fine,
because l'm going to be right
over there, waiting for you.
- All right?
- OK.
You ready?
Are you really ready?
Let's do this.
- [machine buzzing]
- See ya.
Oh, hey, man,
you got an extra battery?
Unbelievable.
- Oh, l know, right?
- l've never seen anything like this.
God.
Well, what l don't understand...
[over speaker]...is how
a person lets it get like that.
I mean, man,
that is a whole lot of nasty.
[man] Maybe she's afraid
of doctors. Poor thing.
[Alex] Poor thing? Please.
If you're afraid of doctors,
you take a pill.
She's just sick,
like, warped, you know?
Seriously, I don't know
how she lives with herself.
[laughing] Ugh.
Well, at first, we thought
she was just putting on weight.
When we realized
what was happening,
l tried to get her
to go to the doctor,
but she was scared.
And, the bigger it got,
the less she wanted to go.
And she never really felt
all that sick until last night.
She couldn't breathe.
Because the tumor
was crushing her lungs.
Yes, well, l called 91 1 .
lt just seemed like
the right thing to do.
You know, the right thing to do
would have been to call a year ago.
Thank you.
[Meredith]
OK, Mr. Levangie.
We're going to get you
more comfortable, OK?
l'm going to go downstairs,
and l'll be back up shortly.
- [grunting] OK.
- OK.
[woman over PA]
Cardiac perfusionist, 42 1 7.
Excuse me.
- l'm sorry, doctor...
- Grey.
My dad seems to like you.
He's always liked
skinny blondes.
ls that rude? l'm sorry.
l'm so tired.
ls there something...?
l was wondering
if you would talk to him.
About?
Brain surgery.
The doctor mentioned it,
and l've read about it online.
lf it worked,
it could help
with most of his symptoms,
not just his pain.
ls he a candidate?
He is, but he's afraid of it.
Surgery on his back, he can
understand, but his brain...
And there are risks.
- But his quality of life...
- There isn't any.
And, it keeps getting worse.
l'm getting married
next month.
l already lost my mom.
And l want him to walk...
l want him with me.
Maybe that's selfish, but...
You don't know what it's like
having a parent...
Watching him...
l do.
l do know what it's like.
l'll see what l can do.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
The right hemidiaphragm
is so high
that it's completely
displacing her lung tissue.
lt's infiltrated her
spinal canal in three places.
We should start there.
lt's going to take 3 or 4 hours
to get around those nerves.
l'd prefer to start in front,
and then flip her.
You never know
what vessels are involved.
l'm going to need
a good head start.
[Derek] lf l miss a step,
she's paralyzed.
lf l don't relieve the pressure
on her lungs, she'll be dead.
Do you think she really
wants to live?
Come on.
She's been housebound.
She's been living
under this thing,
just watching it grow for how long?
She doesn't seem stupid.
Doesn't even seem
all that scared.
Why would anyone wait this long,
unless they wanted to die?
People do things every day that
they know could kill them.
Doesn't mean
they want to die.
What are her chances
of surviving the surgery?
Slightly better
than if we do nothing.
So is it worth it?
Hey, come on.
You were already thinking it,
l'm just saying.
She's 43.
lt's worth a try.
[door opening]
Ha!
Morning.
[woman over PA] Dr. Moretti, 467 2.
Dr. Moretti, 467 2.
Dr. Shepherd.
Mr. Levangie,
the Parkinson's patient,
a good candidate for DBS?
Yes, but he's not interested.
OK, but l think it's worth
talking to him again, pushing him.
We're talking
about a brain surgery
that is performed while the patient
is awake, a risk of paralysis, death.
The patient doesn't want it. lt is not
my job to push him into anything,
and it's definitely not yours.
OK...
You're uncomfortable with my decision.
lt's best you don't scrub in.
- But...
- lt's minor. You won't be missed.
You know,
they call you the Nazi.
So l've heard.
[woman over PA] Dr. Conserva, 37 42.
Dr. Conserva, 37 42, stat.
[Burke] l won't lie to you.
The surgery is going to be
long and difficult,
but we have an extremely capable
surgical team, and l can...
Am l going to die?
There's always that risk,
but if we don't do the surgery...
l'll definitely die.
Yes.
Soon?
Yes.
- Mom, the room's clean.
- OK, honey, OK.
- Mom!
- She'll have the surgery.
- Mom!
- No. No, Annie.
She will have the surgery.
l guess l'll have the surgery.
l think that is
a very wise decision.
On one condition.
l don't want him there.
l'm sorry, Annie.
Did l upset you in some way?
lf he's in the surgery,
l'm not having it.
That's how l live with myself.
[Burke] OK, Miss Connors.
Dr. Karev.
- What the hell did you do?
- Nothing. l-l don't know.
Man. The mike
must have been on.
lf anything goes wrong, anything,
you are 60 percent more likely to be
sued if you've offended the patient.
l never would have
said that.
The mike shouldn't
have been on.
l didn't realize
she could hear me.
Now you won't realize
your chance to scrub in.
You're banned from the OR.
Mine or anyone else's. All week.
l got the history on the tumor.
lt's been growing
for a year and a half.
lt's the first time
she's even had it looked at.
lt's like she's fatally lazy.
[sighing]
Why doesn't she get banned?
Go prep Annie Connors
for surgery.
You're scrubbing in
with Cristina.
Really?
l mean, thank you. OK.
We just need to recheck
your labs and get an EKG,
so l just need
to take a little blood.
Dr. Burke is great,
and Dr. Bailey.
- l know you're probably scared.
- That's OK, kitten.
You can just do your job.
You don't have to talk to
the fat, nasty tumor lady.
l mean, l let it get this bad.
How much sympathy do l deserve?
Why did you let it
get this bad?
You're the first person since
l got here to ask me that.
Well, l guess it's just like
the elephant in the room.
- Elephant?
- l mean...
lt's more like a giant sow,
don't you think?
Every time l went to
the hospital, someone died.
All four of my grandparents,
then my dad.
My best friend's mom,
my baby sister.
They all went in,
never came out.
So l put it off.
You know, you're not the
only one to put things off.
l never do anything till
the last possible minute.
Like what?
Well...
l've had this thing for my
roommate since, like, day one,
and l just...
l can't tell her.
She probably wouldn't
go out with me, anyway, but...
How do l know that
for sure,
if l don't ever ask?
Seriously?
You're equating your pathetic love life
with my record-breaking tumor?
Seriously?
[ ? The Ditty Bops:
Walk or Ride]
lt's just that he blatantly
favors me in front of her
and then blatantly dismisses me.
How do you know
he was favoring you?
Look, you've got a brain.
You got into this program.
Shepherd munching your cookies
doesn't mean you didn't deserve
what you worked for.
But he's making me look bad.
l have to end it.
- Right.
- lt's over.
ls it true you get
to scrub in on that tumor?
- Don't sit here.
- You get to scrub in?
How psyched are you?
On a scale of one
to ecstatic, ecstatic.
l think Burke wants to get
into your scrubs.
Why are you sitting here?
He kicked me off that surgery
for the same crap you pull every day.
lf l stuck this fork into his thigh,
would l get in trouble?
Not if you make it
look like an accident.
- Hey.
- Hi!
Thank God, man.
l'm drowning in estrogen here.
You look... ls everything OK?
Shepherd's a jackass.
Really? l think
he's kind of great.
He reamed her out
in front of Bailey.
- [lzzie] Why?
- 'Cause he's a jackass.
- Oh.
- [tray clattering]
Well, bad days are... bad.
[George] Maybe tonight,
uh, if, you know,
if you drink alcohol,
l mean, we could
all of us, l mean,
go out and drink alcohol...
Because of the bad day.
[pager beeping]
l got to go.
Dude.
Shut up.
[laughs]
How's your back?
- Still good.
- Good. How are you?
Can you lean forward for me?
l want to check something.
- Does that feel OK?
- Yeah.
- Right here?
- Did you page?
Mr. Levangie, have you given
any more thought
about the other surgical options
we discussed this morning?
What?
Why would l?
l already told you no.
l'm letting you cut
into my back,
But that's not enough
for you.
All you guys ever want
to do is cut.
Dad, just listen
to what he has to say.
l already listened.
Sir, there's a very small
window of opportunity here.
Once the Parkinson's progresses
to a point of dementia,
you're no longer
a candidate for DBS.
And when l'm no longer
a candidate,
is that when you people
will leave me the hell alone!
What?
Do l have to start drooling,
and forget my name
to get a little
peace and quiet?
All right.
l'll check back with you later.
Try to get some rest.
Dad, you're being unreasonable.
The doctors are only
trying to help you.
lt's my damn life,
and it's my damn brain.
You want me to let them
cut up my brain
while l'm lying here awake,
for what?
- Dad!
- l'll be at your wedding.
l will sit in the back.
Your uncle will walk you
down the aisle.
l know it's not perfect,
but it's life.
Life is messy sometimes.
l know that.
[sighs]
lf she knows,
then what the hell are we
still talking for, huh?
Why in hell can't she drop it?
lt is your life.
But it's her life too.
And you have a chance
to get better here.
And all she's asking
you to do is try.
lf they pull this off,
l'm totally calling Oprah.
You two been working out?
Sometimes l jog,
and l try to take
the stairs whenever possible.
[Cristina] Why?
See that large pile of tumor?
You're going to be retracting it
for the next 1 4 hours,
so l'm just saying l hope
you have strong backs.
Dr. Shepherd.
Yes?
Mr. Levangie has agreed
to DBS.
lf we do it today.
lf he leaves,
he won't come back.
Don't worry,
Dr. Shepherd.
lt'll take hours before we
get around to the spine.
- l'll page you.
- All right, then.
Let's do it.
Dr. Bailey.
l didn't know...
...that he was my boss,
when l met him. l didn't know.
- l don't care.
- Really?
Oh, well, you sort of seemed
to not be talking to me, so l...
You see this,
what's happening right here?
This is the problem with
you sleeping with my boss.
Not whether or not
you knew him before,
but how it affects my day.
And me standing here
talking to you
about your sex life
affects my day.
And the longer this
little fling goes on,
the more favors you get
over the others,
who are fighting tooth
and nail just to make it
through this program
without any assistance.
When those people start
finding out what's going on
and they don't want
to work with you
and talk to you
or look at you,
and they start
bitching and moaning at me,
the more it affects my day.
So, no, Dr. Grey,
l don't care what you knew,
or when you knew it.
Are we understood?
- Yes.
- Good.
[Alex] This sucks.
l'm not a real
fan of yours, either.
Not you. This. Everyone
is scrubbed in somewhere.
Bright side, we have
the run of the floor.
Want to do it
in the stairwell?
l'm just saying you
never know what could happen.
[vomiting]
l'm changing.
l'll page you
if l need you.
You do that.
You are so my
favorite person today.
- [machine beeping]
- [doctors chattering]
Begin more suction.
We need to hang
another bag of O-neg.
Cauterizing the small bleeders
to keep my visual field clean.
God, is your back
killing you?
George, shut up.
We're in here.
[man] Hold it right there.
Mrs. Harper, let me show you
these chest films.
We were able to relieve the
obstruction of his chest tube,
so the buildup of fluid you see
should resolve itself soon.
Which translates as
he should be home in no time.
He was making waffles.
l'm sorry?
He was making waffles.
He was mixing the batter,
and...
and then,
he was on the floor.
lzzie, we need
a central line run in 204.
- Page Dr. Karev, will you?
- He's not answering.
[sighs] l'm so sorry.
l'll be back.
[pager beeping]
Like what you see, right?
[woman] Neuro sponge.
How you doing,
Mr. Levangie?
All right.
Drill bit's charged.
Where's blondie?
l'm right here.
Can't you see me?
l'm shaky.
l'm not blind.
Anything goes wrong here,
l'm blaming you.
OK, in that case,
l'll stay where you can see me.
[woman] We have to drill
a hole and try to find
the spot that controls
the motor function.
You can't see my brain
from there.
Aren't you supposed
to be learning something?
l'm good, right here.
- [woman] EEG waves look good.
- OK, Mr. Levangie.
Just take a couple
deep breaths.
- Focus on the pretty girl.
- [whirring]
[Derek] This is going to sound
really scary, but try and relax.
You shouldn't feel a thing.
- Any pain here? Here?
- No.
- OK.
- [pager beeping]
Dr. Stevens, l need you
to check the x-ray in 21 03.
21 1 8 needs post-op notes,
and Jane's wondering
if you want her to
start feeding 21 1 2.
l'm going on break.
OK, yeah, before you do that,
could you page Dr. Karev again?
- l already paged him.
- Again?
- [man] Irrigation.
- [woman] Little more pressure.
Excuse me.
How is it?
[man] Long and slow.
l don't envy those two.
They've been holding
that thing for eight hours.
Their arms have to be ready
to fall off.
[Burke] Look at the size
of this artery.
My God.
lt's as thick as a thumb.
You ever seen a vessel this size?
No.
This thing's just feeding
on all her blood.
We need more O-negative.
[woman] l'll call the blood bank.
[clinking]
[Burke] Damn it, O'Malley.
You want me to kill this patient?
No, l... Sorry.
l mean, is the art of retracting
just too much for you?
No, l was, uh...
Um...
l had an itch.
Way to go, George.
Nicely done.
Just keep trying, Mr. Levangie.
Mimic my motions.
You can do it.
You're doing great, Mr. Levangie.
Just a little longer.
Oh, damn it!
Take a breath and try again.
One more time,
Mr. Levangie.
The probe is almost in.
You'll know it
when we find the right spot.
[woman] Well, how about that?
[Derek]
There it is.
l'll be a son of a bitch.
[Derek] Bailey was on the warpath.
l was trying to protect you.
You trying to protect me
is why she's on the warpath.
You can't ask me to scrub in,
when l haven't earned it.
OK, OK.
You can't treat me like crap
when l haven't earned that.
l can take care of myself.
l got myself into this mess, and l...
And you'll get yourself out?
l don't... know that yet.
[pager beeping]
Don't let me keep you.
You did great work here today.
Dr. Shepherd.
Yeah?
Sorry l called you a jackass.
You didn't.
l did. Twice.
Tell you what, blondie.
lf you don't marry him, l will.
[pager beeping]
[pager beeping]
No, no, no, Jimmy!
No, no, Jimmy, no!
- What we got?
- Pressure plummeted to 64l22,
and he has runs of V-tach
that aren't perfusing.
CVP is sky-high.
- Give him dopamine, ten mikes.
- He's maxed out.
The resident was here an hour ago.
l can't reach him.
- Of course you can't.
- Do something! What's the matter?
- Get her out of here!
- No, no!
Mrs. Harper,
you have to get out of here.
Does he have
a myocardial ischemia?
No, it's a clot. Big one.
- Page someone.
- He'll be dead before they get here.
You have to open him up,
right here, right now.
- You said he was OK!
- Get out of here now!
You have to cut.
l can't. l've never seen it done.
l could kill him.
Do nothing,
you'll kill him faster.
- Your glove size?
- Six.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Take a breath, Dr. Stevens.
She has to move over there.
Walter, move out of the way.
Cut the stitches
and then the staples.
Don't let them fall
into the chest cavity.
Wait. l've never cracked
a chest before.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
No pulse. Wide complex rhythm.
l can't get this clot out.
l need more suction. l need more.
He's bradying down.
You have to get the clot out.
l can't get it.
Screw it. l'm using my hand.
[woman] Oh, God, look
at the size of that clot.
Anything?
No.
You have to massage
the heart, doctor.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, please.
Come on, Mr. Harper.
We have a pulse.
[lzzie panting]
OK, follow with suction.
[Shepherd]
How's it going?
lt's more intertwined
than the studies made it look.
[Bailey] l need another bag.
Call the blood bank.
We need more O-negative.
l'm down 1 0 units of blood,
and l haven't even flipped her yet.
Oh, wow.
Hmm.
Hold it steady.
Look at that.
Sponge.
How am l supposed to get
around that artery?
Let me call down
and see...
OK.
All right, then. Forceps.
Here you go.
Excuse me.
God, it's unbelievable.
Right.
How did she live like that?
Watch what you say.
You never know who's listening.
[laughing]
Look at George.
He looks like
he's about to fall in.
Are you really as shallow
and callous as you seem?
Oh, you want to go out
for a drink later
and hear about my secret pain?
Does that line ever work for you?
Sometimes.
Oh.
Must be because you look like that.
Like what?
[chuckling] So is that a yes?
No.
l can't. l'm seeing someone.
Look, if you don't want
to go out with me, just say so.
No need to lie.
Oh, OK.
Well, l don't want
to go out with you.
But l think l really
might be seeing someone.
[woman] Yeah.
No, it's up here.
It's up here.
It's up here.
We're still in the
middle of surgery.
Mr. Harper, the post-op
heart patient in 21 1 4.
l had to open
his sternotomy bedside.
- You what?
- [all] What?
What?
He had cardiac tamponade.
His chest films were clean
this morning. lt happened fast.
He was in PEA.
There was no time.
Go ahead. l got it.
We're OK here.
Yeah, l need some retraction.
- Pull back on the retractor.
- l got it.
You opened a heart bedside,
and you couldn't even page me?
Needed all the glory
for yourself, right?
l paged you 50 times.
Do you have any idea
what l have been through?
Oh, man. The battery.
l forgot to change it.
You forgot? You forgot?!
You are hateful!
You are a hateful, hateful, lazy,
arrogant, hateful man!
Hateful!
Never a dull moment
here at Seattle Grace.
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
Get right in there.
She can't afford
to lose this much blood.
Get me some suction.
l can't see what l'm doing.
Clamp, clamp, clamp, please.
ls there any blood
in the rapid infuser?
We're waiting on two units.
What do you mean, waiting?
We didn't anticipate
this blood loss.
We prepped double.
We've used it all.
- What did you cut?
- [Bailey] Nothing. lt just blew.
She came in
with too much damage.
The artery walls are too weak.
Annie, come on.
- Ten units of O-negative.
- l cannot see.
Give me your hand. Push down here.
Pull it towards you. Suction!
The pressure's dropping.
Where the hell is the blood?!
Somebody grab that.
Push it back, George. Come on.
[all panting]
Oh, God. Just squeeze it off
right there.
Here we go.
ls that O-negative for OR 1 ?
Uh-huh, OR 1 .
OR 1 , right? l got it! l got it!
Some suction, please,
in here, now.
- [flatlining]
- We're losing her now.
Look at this. Come on.
[flatlining continues]
Oh, come on! Come on!
[grunting]
Come on!
[panting]
[monitor switches off]
Time of death is 1 1 :42.
l got it!
[? Butterfly Boucher: Never
Leave Your Heart Alone]
[Meredith] The early bird
catches the worm.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Messy.
l'm sorry.
Don't be. You saved his life.
[Meredith] He who hesitates is lost.
We can't pretend
we haven't been told.
We've all heard
the proverbs,
heard the philosophers,
heard our grandparents
warning us about wasted time,
heard the damn poets
urging us to seize the day.
Still, sometimes,
we have to see for ourselves.
l'm not doing you
any more favors.
This was it.
l've been holding up
50 pounds of tumor
for the past 1 2 hours.
My back's
going to need traction,
and the patient
died anyways.
And you think
you did me a favor?
Look, l'm just...
What is this...
....that we're doing here?
What is it?
You need a definition?
You really want to be
that guy?
[Meredith] We have to make
our own mistakes.
Lock the door.
We have to learn
our own lessons.
Have you seen Meredith?
Save yourself the misery, man.
She's off the market.
What? No, that's not...
We're just friends.
Whatever.
But she's not. l mean,
if she was seeing someone,
l live with her, l would know it.
[Meredith] We have to sweep
today's possibility
under tomorrow's rug
until we can't anymore,
until we finally understand
for ourselves
what Benjamin Franklin meant.
That knowing is better
than wondering.
That waking is
better than sleeping.
l, um, know this place
where there's an amazing view
of sunrise over the ferryboats.
l have a thing for ferryboats.
l remember.
And that even the biggest failure,
even the worst,
most intractable mistake
beats the hell
out of never trying.