Green Acres (1965–1971): Season 1, Episode 20 - The Price of Apples - full transcript
Oliver will make considerably more on his apple crop if he gets it to market first. He hires local high schoolers to pick the fruit and uses their old truck to haul them. As the rickety vehicle suffers numerous breakdowns, the apple prices begin to drop. Finally, Lisa's "hotscakes" come to the rescue.
Captioning made possible by
mgm home entertainment
Oliver: ♪ green acres
is the place to be ♪
♪ farm livin'
is the life for me ♪
♪ land spreadin' out
so far and wide ♪
♪ keep Manhattan,
just give me that countryside ♪
Lisa: ♪ New York ♪
♪ is where
I'd rather stay ♪
♪ I get allergic ♪
♪ smelling hay ♪
♪ I just adore
a penthouse view ♪
♪ darling,
i love you ♪
♪ but give me
park Avenue ♪
♪ the chores ♪
♪ the stores ♪
♪ fresh air ♪
♪ Times Square ♪
♪ you are my wife ♪
♪ good-bye,
city life ♪
Both: ♪ green acres,
we are there ♪
[Sizzling]
[Banging]
Oliver!
Good morning, eb.
Morning, Mrs. Douglas.
Do you know where
Mr. Douglas is?
Yes, ma'am. He's out
in the apple orchard.
Would you please
call him
and tell him
breakfast is ready?
Yes, ma'am.
What are we having?
Hot cakes.
Oh. Well, I'll think of
some way to get him in.
[Tearing]
[Sizzling]
[Banging]
[Fft]
[Sizzling]
Lisa! Oh, Lisa,
are you all right?
I'm fine.
You didn't
hurt yourself
when you fell off
the telephone pole?
I haven't been on the pole.
It didn't ring.
Eb said that
you fell--
it was the only way to get
you in for the hot cakes.
That's very bright,
getting me all upset!
You get more upset
when I tell you
there are hot cakes
for breakfast.
Well, back to feeding
the chickens.
I'll probably
eat with 'em.
Lisa, look at this.
Look, I got little
ones this morning.
Never mind that.
Look at this.
It's very nice.
Lisa, taste it.
Are we going to play
Adam and Eve?
This just came from
our apple orchard.
Just this one? From
all the trees we've got?
No, the trees are
loaded with them,
they're just ready
to be picked.
Here. Come on,
taste it.
First you taste my hot cake,
then I taste your apple.
Lisa, this is
our first crop!
It means I'm a success
as a farmer!
The farm is beginning
to pay off! Taste it!
You first.
Mmf.
Delicious.
Now, taste it.
Ooh, sour.
It's tart.
What does that mean?
Sour.
That's what I said.
It's tart.
No, you said
that it was--
you sit down and
have your breakfast.
No, I haven't got time.
Mr. kimball's coming over.
Do you think he would
like a hot cake?
Not if he's smart.
I mean, he's coming over
to see if my apples
are ripe for picking.
Well, I'm sure he's going
to give you good advice.
It might not be good,
but it won't be bad.
It probably
will be very good.
Please, I get enough of
this from Mr. kimball.
Well, this is about
the best crop of apples I ever--
well, not the best.
They certainly are.
Certainly are what?
Apples.
Didn't you know?
Mr. kimball,
what I want to know is
are they ready
for picking?
Ooh! That one is.
Yeah.
Here, taste one.
Try that.
[Crunch]
Hmm. Pretty sour.
It's tart.
Yes, I guess you could make
sour tarts out of them.
[Thump]
There's another one
ready for picking. Ha ha!
Look, let's assume
they're ready to be picked.
All right.
What's the next step?
You have to box 'em.
I don't mean...
No. I didn't
think you did.
Although you might want
to go a couple of rounds
with that one.
Any more questions?
Yes. Where do i
market them?
How do i
get them there?
Well, let's take
the last question first.
No, let's take
the first question first
because I forgot what
the last question was.
Now--what was
the first question again?
Ooh, I remember.
Where you market them, yes.
Most of the farmers take
them down to the marketplace
at the state capitol.
That's upstate.
Well, it's not upstate.
It's more like a side-state.
You won't have any trouble
finding the capitol.
Well, it's a big
building with a dome,
and the governor's usually
out front making speeches.
About what, eliminating
county agents?
Oh, no, he--you know
something I don't know?
Oh, no.
I was just kidding.
Oh. Heh heh.
Look, Mr. kimball,
this is the first crop
I've had to sell.
That's why I'm asking
all these questions.
That's why I'm giving you
all these answers.
And I appreciate them.
Now, let me ask you,
what can I expect
to get from my apples?
Right now, the price of
apples is at its peak.
I heard they're quoting
$4.00 a bushel.
$4.00!
You heard that, too?
Gotta get them in within
the next couple of days.
The farmer that gets there
first gets top prices.
Hey, that makes sense.
It does? Then I guess
i haven't wasted your time.
Well, good-bye,
Mr. Douglas.
Uh...
Darling, you didn't
eat your hot cakes.
Oh, later.
Come on,
eat your hot cakes!
I've got to drive in
to Mr. drucker's
and get some boxes
for our apples.
What's more important,
apples or togethernessness?
Togethernessness?
I ate your apple,
you didn't eat my hot cakes.
You call that
togethernessness?
I'll eat them while
I'm driving into town.
You won't, but
it's a nice thought.
Eb!
Yes, sir?
What are you doing
back there? Get out.
Here, take these
with you.
No, thanks. I'm full up
to here with chicken feed.
Get rid of them.
Lisa: Oliver!
I've got to go into
town to get some boxes.
You start picking apples.
How long will it take?
Oh, week,
week and a half.
I want to get them
into market this week.
I've only got 2 hands
and one of them's got
to hang onto the ladder.
Couldn't you hire
somebody to help you?
Well, I can put a notice up
on the bulletin board
over at the high school
and get some of the kids.
Just put up a simple notice
and get rid of these.
Lisa: Oliver!
For crying out loud.
I know.
Your move, Fred.
Good morning,
gentlemen.
Morning.
Morning, Mr. Douglas.
Mr. drucker,
i need--
say, is this
a good move?
Oh, no, no. Here.
Right there.
That's your move.
Oh.
Next time I ask,
you don't tell me.
I'm sorry. I--
look, Mr. drucker,
I need some apple boxes.
When do you
need 'em?
Right away.
I'm picking today.
All: Today?
Yes, yes.
My apples are all--
is this
a good move?
Yes. Oh,
that's a dandy.
I thought I told you
not to tell me.
Sam, give the man
his boxes.
Let me write down
what you need.
Are you really
picking today?
Yes, aren't you?
Nope.
Aren't your apples ripe?
Yep.
Why aren't you picking?
Well, uh, Fred,
why aren't we picking?
We ain't got no trucks
to take 'em to market.
Why not?
Because the farmers
over in crabwell corners
tied up the valley
trucking company
so's they could get
their apples in first.
Yeah, they done it
to us again.
It'll be 2 weeks
before we can ship.
And you just sit around and
wait until crabwell corners
get their apples in first
and get the top prices?
Yeah.
Guess we do.
Well, gentlemen,
I'm ashamed of you,
accepting defeat
without fighting.
In the history of
the American farmer--
are you gonna make another
one of them speeches?
No, i--
if Mr. Douglas wants to make
another one of them speeches,
he has every right to.
Yeah. I don't mind.
I ain't goin' no place.
All I wanted to say is
that the American farmer
did not succeed
by being passive.
The American farmer's
a go-getter,
uses his ingenuity.
If one road is closed to him,
he finds another!
And if the bridge is out,
he will build one!
Fred: Mr. Douglas,
ain't nothin' wrong
with our Bridges,
we ain't got the trucks
to move over them.
I know you ain't got no--
uh, I know
you haven't got no--
I know you haven't
got any trucks,
but instead of
sitting here,
you should be out
doing something!
Do you realize that if you
get your apples in first
you get $4.00 a bushel?
Whereas if
you wait for 2 weeks,
you'll be lucky
to get $1.75.
That's what
we always get.
That's a fair price.
You mean you're
satisfied with that?
Yeah.
If I were to offer you
$1.75 a bushel right now,
you'd take it?
Sold!
Well, I was only--
you can
have mine, too!
Ben Miller'd be glad
to sell you his.
I just wanted
to make a point.
We didn't think
you was serious.
Maybe I will buy them.
I'm not adverse to
taking a small profit.
Tell you what,
you pick your apples,
and I'll take them off
your hands at $1.75 a bushel.
But don't you come
crying to me now
when I sell them up at
the state capitol for $4.00.
We won't. How you
gonna get 'em there?
I'll tell you how.
I'm gonna find a truck
and take them there myself.
Oh, Mr. Douglas!
Good morning,
Mr. haney.
I thought you might be
looking for these.
They must've fallen
out of your car.
No, I threw--look,
i don't want them.
Lisa: Oliver!
Did you hear
something?
No, sir.
It'd be a nice day
for shipping your
apples to market...
If you had a truck.
Mr. haney--
guess you heard
the valley trucking
company's all tied up.
Yes, I know.
Of course, they're not
the only company
that ships apples.
They aren't?
No, no. There's the...
What is the name of
that other outfit?
Oh!
The transcontinental
refrigerated
apple trucking company.
You care to inspect
our modern mobile
refrigerating
facilities?
Refrigerated?
You know what that is?
Genu-wine ice.
That's your
refrigeration plant?
Yes, sir. It operates on
the principle of cold.
You familiar with
that principle?
Mr. haney--
I call your attention
to the safety devices
of the marvel of
modern transportation.
In addition
to the seatbelts,
individual
windshield wipers,
radar,
four-wheel brakes--
radar?!
[Rattling]
There you are.
Not only does it
tell you where you are,
but it keeps the flies
off of your fruit.
I wouldn't care if this
truck had ejection seats--
stand clear!
[Boing]
Now, the gyroscopic
compass--
Mr. haney, even if
the truck could fly,
I wouldn't--
haney to
control tower.
Request permission
to take off.
Mr. haney, you're wasting
your time and mine.
I'm not interested in using
your trucking service.
I'm going
to rent a truck.
Rent one?
Yes.
Now, where did
i see that sign?
Oh!
Like me to put you
into the driver's seat?
No, thank you.
I'm not interested
in renting your truck
nor using your
trucking service.
Care to buy a couple
of used window shades?
The control tower
wants to talk to you.
[Music playing]
[Hiss]
Lisa!
Lisa!
Yes, darling!
Where have you been?
I've been looking
for a truck.
What's all this?
Apples. Mr. ziffel,
Mr. Miller, Mr. Kiley,
and Mr. somebody else
what-you-call-them
and his friend
brought them.
They said that
you bought them.
Yes, I did, but--
why, darling?
We got our own apples?
I was in the store,
i got--what's that?
[Music plays]
The apple pickers.
Eb brought them
from his high school
with the bulletin sign
off the board.
Doesn't sound like they're
doing much picking.
[Music playing]
[Clapping and laughing]
Eb! Eb! Eb!
Eb! Eb!
You want to cut in,
Mr. Douglas?
No! Turn the radio off!
Cool it! Squire
Douglas is here!
That's better. You kids
were hired to pick apples!
Not to dance!
And what's that truck
doing in my orchard?
The kids drove
over in it.
Get it out of here!
And finish picking the apples!
Every moment lost
is cost--a truck?
How are
the apples riding?
Better than I am.
How far do
we have to go?
Oh, about 500 miles
approximately.
I don't think my approximately
is going to take it.
Lisa, this is the day
I've always dreamed about--
taking my first crop
to market!
Are we going to stop
overnight in New York?
We don't go
through New York.
Why not?
We don't go in
that direction.
Do you want to
change directions?
All I want to do
is get these apples
to the state capitol while
the price is still $4.00.
Can we spend
the night in Miami?
We don't go
through Miami.
Or Chicago or
Los Angeles.
All we do is go to
the state capitol.
Hawaii?
If you keep this up,
know what I'll do?
No, what?
I'll pull over to the side
of the road and stop.
And then
we smooch?
No!
You always used to stop
the car and smooch.
Lisa!
You said that's
why you married me,
because I was such
a good smoocher.
That's beside the point.
If I pull this truck over,
it'll be to let you out
and you can walk
back to hooterville.
We've got a 15-hour
trip ahead of us,
and this constant
chattering
will drive me
out of my mind.
Are you trying to
tell me something?
I'm trying to tell you
to be quiet.
All right. I won't
say another word
till we get
to Atlantic city.
State capitol. Lisa,
how many miles was that?
Lisa? Lisa,
I'm talking to you.
You said to keep quiet.
All I want to know is
if you saw the sign.
What did it say?
Yes.
It said "drink moxie."
Moxie?
What is that?
Lisa, just
watch the signs.
There goes
a pretty one!
"Harold's garage.
We fix flats."
[Tire blows out]
What happened?
We got a flat.
Wasn't it handy of Harold
to have his sign up there?
Old Harold's a very
enterprising fella.
Nobody else had
a sign up there.
Well, that does it.
A flat tire
and no spare.
What is a spare?
I've seen one.
Another tire.
Under the apples.
Where?
Oh. That means I gotta
unload the whole truck.
[Music playing on radio]
Announcer:
And now its time for
your 2:00 farm commodity
price report.
Wheat opened at--
leave that on!
...and corn
and rye were steady.
The first apples of
the season were delivered
this morning from down-state
around crabwell corners
and opened
at $4.00 a bushel.
500 bushels
sold at $4.00.
$4.00!
Within an hour,
they had dropped to $3.75.
Some wholesalers
were quoting $3.65.
$3.65?!
Announcer: And $3.60.
Oh, no.
This report was brought
to you by Harold's garage,
specialists in fixing flats.
Be sure to watch for their signs
along the highway.
Darn that tire. Took
me an hour to fix it,
the price
dropped 40 cents,
and we've still
got miles to go.
We've got
to get rolling.
[Siren wailing]
[Siren stops]
Officer,
i was only doing 35.
28.
Then what did
you stop me for?
What do you got
on the truck?
Apples.
No law against that,
is there?
No, but there is a law
against leaving them
on the side of the road.
What?
112 boxes,
40 miles back.
40 miles!
Oh, officer!
Oh, that's all right.
Things like this
happen every day.
Well, not every day,
but some days.
Well, not some days.
He sounds like
Mr. kimball.
Hank kimball?
Why, he's my cousin.
Well, he's not
really my cousin.
He's more like--
no, he's not like him.
There is a certain--
thanks, officer.
[Music playing on radio]
[Sighs]
You haven't forgotten
the apples this time?
No, and I wouldn't have
forgotten them before
if I hadn't been
in such a hurry.
I don't usually
forget things.
Where's your coat?
Announcer: And now here are
the 5:00 commodity prices.
Apples are the main news
in today's market.
Newton pippins and bellflowers
are being offered
buy the growers
for $3.00 a bushel.
$3.00?
But the taking price
is $2.75.
$2.75?!
And $2.60.
$2.60? When
we started out,
they were $4.00!
Darling, if you hurry up,
we can make it by $1.95.
[Engine sputtering]
Was that another
flat tire?
No, it's the engine.
What's wrong with it?
I don't know till
i look at it.
Doesn't seem to be anything
wrong with these parts.
Here's what's wrong with it,
the head gasket blew out.
Where do you
get those?
Got to phone a garage.
Where is there
a phone?
We gotta walk
till we find one.
Ohh!
Hello!
Howdy, folks.
Hi.
Can you tell me where
i can get a mechanic?
Harold's garage.
The operator there,
she'll get it for you.
Thank you.
Something wrong?
My husband blew out
his head basket.
He must feel terrib--
head basket?
Honey, order me
something to eat.
Yes, darling.
Would you please make
my husband some hot cakes?
Sure will.
[Sizzles]
Is that the way
you make it?
Yes, ma'am.
That's not the way
i make it.
No?
I have a better way.
You want me to show you?
Oh, sure. I'm always glad
to learn something new.
Now, let me see.
Now then,
you just watch.
You see, it's very easy.
Do you have something
to smooze with?
To do what with?
Well, you know--oh, here.
A smoozer like this.
These are gonna
be hot cakes?
Well, as soon as
they bloop a little.
What do you mean Harold
only fixes flats?
Yes, I saw his sign.
Yes, I heard it
on the radio.
Well, where can I get
a head gasket?
Thank you.
I'll try them.
That's enough blooping.
Now, watch closely
and you'll see...
There...
There we go...
[Sizzling]
Do you have a pots cover?
A what?
A pots cover.
This is a pots cover.
Ohh.
1, 2, 3. 4. There!
I can't wait
till tomorrow morning.
I need a head gasket now--
never mind.
Any luck, mister?
No. I'll never get
those apples to market.
I wouldn't worry.
A couple of truckers told me
the price was holding firm.
$1.75.
Yeah? What is it?
$1.75. I could have
gotten that if I waited--
what are you doing
back there?
Making you
hot cakes.
Hot cakes!
That's all I need.
I haven't got
troubles enough?
Now, watch.
This is the last step.
See? Hot cakes?
Well, I'll
be doggoned.
How about that?
Yeah. How about that?
Yeah. That's
a perfect head gasket.
I wonder if I were to
put this in the truck...
Oh, no. It'd never work.
[Engine chugging]
Captioning made possible by
mgm home entertainment
mgm home entertainment
Oliver: ♪ green acres
is the place to be ♪
♪ farm livin'
is the life for me ♪
♪ land spreadin' out
so far and wide ♪
♪ keep Manhattan,
just give me that countryside ♪
Lisa: ♪ New York ♪
♪ is where
I'd rather stay ♪
♪ I get allergic ♪
♪ smelling hay ♪
♪ I just adore
a penthouse view ♪
♪ darling,
i love you ♪
♪ but give me
park Avenue ♪
♪ the chores ♪
♪ the stores ♪
♪ fresh air ♪
♪ Times Square ♪
♪ you are my wife ♪
♪ good-bye,
city life ♪
Both: ♪ green acres,
we are there ♪
[Sizzling]
[Banging]
Oliver!
Good morning, eb.
Morning, Mrs. Douglas.
Do you know where
Mr. Douglas is?
Yes, ma'am. He's out
in the apple orchard.
Would you please
call him
and tell him
breakfast is ready?
Yes, ma'am.
What are we having?
Hot cakes.
Oh. Well, I'll think of
some way to get him in.
[Tearing]
[Sizzling]
[Banging]
[Fft]
[Sizzling]
Lisa! Oh, Lisa,
are you all right?
I'm fine.
You didn't
hurt yourself
when you fell off
the telephone pole?
I haven't been on the pole.
It didn't ring.
Eb said that
you fell--
it was the only way to get
you in for the hot cakes.
That's very bright,
getting me all upset!
You get more upset
when I tell you
there are hot cakes
for breakfast.
Well, back to feeding
the chickens.
I'll probably
eat with 'em.
Lisa, look at this.
Look, I got little
ones this morning.
Never mind that.
Look at this.
It's very nice.
Lisa, taste it.
Are we going to play
Adam and Eve?
This just came from
our apple orchard.
Just this one? From
all the trees we've got?
No, the trees are
loaded with them,
they're just ready
to be picked.
Here. Come on,
taste it.
First you taste my hot cake,
then I taste your apple.
Lisa, this is
our first crop!
It means I'm a success
as a farmer!
The farm is beginning
to pay off! Taste it!
You first.
Mmf.
Delicious.
Now, taste it.
Ooh, sour.
It's tart.
What does that mean?
Sour.
That's what I said.
It's tart.
No, you said
that it was--
you sit down and
have your breakfast.
No, I haven't got time.
Mr. kimball's coming over.
Do you think he would
like a hot cake?
Not if he's smart.
I mean, he's coming over
to see if my apples
are ripe for picking.
Well, I'm sure he's going
to give you good advice.
It might not be good,
but it won't be bad.
It probably
will be very good.
Please, I get enough of
this from Mr. kimball.
Well, this is about
the best crop of apples I ever--
well, not the best.
They certainly are.
Certainly are what?
Apples.
Didn't you know?
Mr. kimball,
what I want to know is
are they ready
for picking?
Ooh! That one is.
Yeah.
Here, taste one.
Try that.
[Crunch]
Hmm. Pretty sour.
It's tart.
Yes, I guess you could make
sour tarts out of them.
[Thump]
There's another one
ready for picking. Ha ha!
Look, let's assume
they're ready to be picked.
All right.
What's the next step?
You have to box 'em.
I don't mean...
No. I didn't
think you did.
Although you might want
to go a couple of rounds
with that one.
Any more questions?
Yes. Where do i
market them?
How do i
get them there?
Well, let's take
the last question first.
No, let's take
the first question first
because I forgot what
the last question was.
Now--what was
the first question again?
Ooh, I remember.
Where you market them, yes.
Most of the farmers take
them down to the marketplace
at the state capitol.
That's upstate.
Well, it's not upstate.
It's more like a side-state.
You won't have any trouble
finding the capitol.
Well, it's a big
building with a dome,
and the governor's usually
out front making speeches.
About what, eliminating
county agents?
Oh, no, he--you know
something I don't know?
Oh, no.
I was just kidding.
Oh. Heh heh.
Look, Mr. kimball,
this is the first crop
I've had to sell.
That's why I'm asking
all these questions.
That's why I'm giving you
all these answers.
And I appreciate them.
Now, let me ask you,
what can I expect
to get from my apples?
Right now, the price of
apples is at its peak.
I heard they're quoting
$4.00 a bushel.
$4.00!
You heard that, too?
Gotta get them in within
the next couple of days.
The farmer that gets there
first gets top prices.
Hey, that makes sense.
It does? Then I guess
i haven't wasted your time.
Well, good-bye,
Mr. Douglas.
Uh...
Darling, you didn't
eat your hot cakes.
Oh, later.
Come on,
eat your hot cakes!
I've got to drive in
to Mr. drucker's
and get some boxes
for our apples.
What's more important,
apples or togethernessness?
Togethernessness?
I ate your apple,
you didn't eat my hot cakes.
You call that
togethernessness?
I'll eat them while
I'm driving into town.
You won't, but
it's a nice thought.
Eb!
Yes, sir?
What are you doing
back there? Get out.
Here, take these
with you.
No, thanks. I'm full up
to here with chicken feed.
Get rid of them.
Lisa: Oliver!
I've got to go into
town to get some boxes.
You start picking apples.
How long will it take?
Oh, week,
week and a half.
I want to get them
into market this week.
I've only got 2 hands
and one of them's got
to hang onto the ladder.
Couldn't you hire
somebody to help you?
Well, I can put a notice up
on the bulletin board
over at the high school
and get some of the kids.
Just put up a simple notice
and get rid of these.
Lisa: Oliver!
For crying out loud.
I know.
Your move, Fred.
Good morning,
gentlemen.
Morning.
Morning, Mr. Douglas.
Mr. drucker,
i need--
say, is this
a good move?
Oh, no, no. Here.
Right there.
That's your move.
Oh.
Next time I ask,
you don't tell me.
I'm sorry. I--
look, Mr. drucker,
I need some apple boxes.
When do you
need 'em?
Right away.
I'm picking today.
All: Today?
Yes, yes.
My apples are all--
is this
a good move?
Yes. Oh,
that's a dandy.
I thought I told you
not to tell me.
Sam, give the man
his boxes.
Let me write down
what you need.
Are you really
picking today?
Yes, aren't you?
Nope.
Aren't your apples ripe?
Yep.
Why aren't you picking?
Well, uh, Fred,
why aren't we picking?
We ain't got no trucks
to take 'em to market.
Why not?
Because the farmers
over in crabwell corners
tied up the valley
trucking company
so's they could get
their apples in first.
Yeah, they done it
to us again.
It'll be 2 weeks
before we can ship.
And you just sit around and
wait until crabwell corners
get their apples in first
and get the top prices?
Yeah.
Guess we do.
Well, gentlemen,
I'm ashamed of you,
accepting defeat
without fighting.
In the history of
the American farmer--
are you gonna make another
one of them speeches?
No, i--
if Mr. Douglas wants to make
another one of them speeches,
he has every right to.
Yeah. I don't mind.
I ain't goin' no place.
All I wanted to say is
that the American farmer
did not succeed
by being passive.
The American farmer's
a go-getter,
uses his ingenuity.
If one road is closed to him,
he finds another!
And if the bridge is out,
he will build one!
Fred: Mr. Douglas,
ain't nothin' wrong
with our Bridges,
we ain't got the trucks
to move over them.
I know you ain't got no--
uh, I know
you haven't got no--
I know you haven't
got any trucks,
but instead of
sitting here,
you should be out
doing something!
Do you realize that if you
get your apples in first
you get $4.00 a bushel?
Whereas if
you wait for 2 weeks,
you'll be lucky
to get $1.75.
That's what
we always get.
That's a fair price.
You mean you're
satisfied with that?
Yeah.
If I were to offer you
$1.75 a bushel right now,
you'd take it?
Sold!
Well, I was only--
you can
have mine, too!
Ben Miller'd be glad
to sell you his.
I just wanted
to make a point.
We didn't think
you was serious.
Maybe I will buy them.
I'm not adverse to
taking a small profit.
Tell you what,
you pick your apples,
and I'll take them off
your hands at $1.75 a bushel.
But don't you come
crying to me now
when I sell them up at
the state capitol for $4.00.
We won't. How you
gonna get 'em there?
I'll tell you how.
I'm gonna find a truck
and take them there myself.
Oh, Mr. Douglas!
Good morning,
Mr. haney.
I thought you might be
looking for these.
They must've fallen
out of your car.
No, I threw--look,
i don't want them.
Lisa: Oliver!
Did you hear
something?
No, sir.
It'd be a nice day
for shipping your
apples to market...
If you had a truck.
Mr. haney--
guess you heard
the valley trucking
company's all tied up.
Yes, I know.
Of course, they're not
the only company
that ships apples.
They aren't?
No, no. There's the...
What is the name of
that other outfit?
Oh!
The transcontinental
refrigerated
apple trucking company.
You care to inspect
our modern mobile
refrigerating
facilities?
Refrigerated?
You know what that is?
Genu-wine ice.
That's your
refrigeration plant?
Yes, sir. It operates on
the principle of cold.
You familiar with
that principle?
Mr. haney--
I call your attention
to the safety devices
of the marvel of
modern transportation.
In addition
to the seatbelts,
individual
windshield wipers,
radar,
four-wheel brakes--
radar?!
[Rattling]
There you are.
Not only does it
tell you where you are,
but it keeps the flies
off of your fruit.
I wouldn't care if this
truck had ejection seats--
stand clear!
[Boing]
Now, the gyroscopic
compass--
Mr. haney, even if
the truck could fly,
I wouldn't--
haney to
control tower.
Request permission
to take off.
Mr. haney, you're wasting
your time and mine.
I'm not interested in using
your trucking service.
I'm going
to rent a truck.
Rent one?
Yes.
Now, where did
i see that sign?
Oh!
Like me to put you
into the driver's seat?
No, thank you.
I'm not interested
in renting your truck
nor using your
trucking service.
Care to buy a couple
of used window shades?
The control tower
wants to talk to you.
[Music playing]
[Hiss]
Lisa!
Lisa!
Yes, darling!
Where have you been?
I've been looking
for a truck.
What's all this?
Apples. Mr. ziffel,
Mr. Miller, Mr. Kiley,
and Mr. somebody else
what-you-call-them
and his friend
brought them.
They said that
you bought them.
Yes, I did, but--
why, darling?
We got our own apples?
I was in the store,
i got--what's that?
[Music plays]
The apple pickers.
Eb brought them
from his high school
with the bulletin sign
off the board.
Doesn't sound like they're
doing much picking.
[Music playing]
[Clapping and laughing]
Eb! Eb! Eb!
Eb! Eb!
You want to cut in,
Mr. Douglas?
No! Turn the radio off!
Cool it! Squire
Douglas is here!
That's better. You kids
were hired to pick apples!
Not to dance!
And what's that truck
doing in my orchard?
The kids drove
over in it.
Get it out of here!
And finish picking the apples!
Every moment lost
is cost--a truck?
How are
the apples riding?
Better than I am.
How far do
we have to go?
Oh, about 500 miles
approximately.
I don't think my approximately
is going to take it.
Lisa, this is the day
I've always dreamed about--
taking my first crop
to market!
Are we going to stop
overnight in New York?
We don't go
through New York.
Why not?
We don't go in
that direction.
Do you want to
change directions?
All I want to do
is get these apples
to the state capitol while
the price is still $4.00.
Can we spend
the night in Miami?
We don't go
through Miami.
Or Chicago or
Los Angeles.
All we do is go to
the state capitol.
Hawaii?
If you keep this up,
know what I'll do?
No, what?
I'll pull over to the side
of the road and stop.
And then
we smooch?
No!
You always used to stop
the car and smooch.
Lisa!
You said that's
why you married me,
because I was such
a good smoocher.
That's beside the point.
If I pull this truck over,
it'll be to let you out
and you can walk
back to hooterville.
We've got a 15-hour
trip ahead of us,
and this constant
chattering
will drive me
out of my mind.
Are you trying to
tell me something?
I'm trying to tell you
to be quiet.
All right. I won't
say another word
till we get
to Atlantic city.
State capitol. Lisa,
how many miles was that?
Lisa? Lisa,
I'm talking to you.
You said to keep quiet.
All I want to know is
if you saw the sign.
What did it say?
Yes.
It said "drink moxie."
Moxie?
What is that?
Lisa, just
watch the signs.
There goes
a pretty one!
"Harold's garage.
We fix flats."
[Tire blows out]
What happened?
We got a flat.
Wasn't it handy of Harold
to have his sign up there?
Old Harold's a very
enterprising fella.
Nobody else had
a sign up there.
Well, that does it.
A flat tire
and no spare.
What is a spare?
I've seen one.
Another tire.
Under the apples.
Where?
Oh. That means I gotta
unload the whole truck.
[Music playing on radio]
Announcer:
And now its time for
your 2:00 farm commodity
price report.
Wheat opened at--
leave that on!
...and corn
and rye were steady.
The first apples of
the season were delivered
this morning from down-state
around crabwell corners
and opened
at $4.00 a bushel.
500 bushels
sold at $4.00.
$4.00!
Within an hour,
they had dropped to $3.75.
Some wholesalers
were quoting $3.65.
$3.65?!
Announcer: And $3.60.
Oh, no.
This report was brought
to you by Harold's garage,
specialists in fixing flats.
Be sure to watch for their signs
along the highway.
Darn that tire. Took
me an hour to fix it,
the price
dropped 40 cents,
and we've still
got miles to go.
We've got
to get rolling.
[Siren wailing]
[Siren stops]
Officer,
i was only doing 35.
28.
Then what did
you stop me for?
What do you got
on the truck?
Apples.
No law against that,
is there?
No, but there is a law
against leaving them
on the side of the road.
What?
112 boxes,
40 miles back.
40 miles!
Oh, officer!
Oh, that's all right.
Things like this
happen every day.
Well, not every day,
but some days.
Well, not some days.
He sounds like
Mr. kimball.
Hank kimball?
Why, he's my cousin.
Well, he's not
really my cousin.
He's more like--
no, he's not like him.
There is a certain--
thanks, officer.
[Music playing on radio]
[Sighs]
You haven't forgotten
the apples this time?
No, and I wouldn't have
forgotten them before
if I hadn't been
in such a hurry.
I don't usually
forget things.
Where's your coat?
Announcer: And now here are
the 5:00 commodity prices.
Apples are the main news
in today's market.
Newton pippins and bellflowers
are being offered
buy the growers
for $3.00 a bushel.
$3.00?
But the taking price
is $2.75.
$2.75?!
And $2.60.
$2.60? When
we started out,
they were $4.00!
Darling, if you hurry up,
we can make it by $1.95.
[Engine sputtering]
Was that another
flat tire?
No, it's the engine.
What's wrong with it?
I don't know till
i look at it.
Doesn't seem to be anything
wrong with these parts.
Here's what's wrong with it,
the head gasket blew out.
Where do you
get those?
Got to phone a garage.
Where is there
a phone?
We gotta walk
till we find one.
Ohh!
Hello!
Howdy, folks.
Hi.
Can you tell me where
i can get a mechanic?
Harold's garage.
The operator there,
she'll get it for you.
Thank you.
Something wrong?
My husband blew out
his head basket.
He must feel terrib--
head basket?
Honey, order me
something to eat.
Yes, darling.
Would you please make
my husband some hot cakes?
Sure will.
[Sizzles]
Is that the way
you make it?
Yes, ma'am.
That's not the way
i make it.
No?
I have a better way.
You want me to show you?
Oh, sure. I'm always glad
to learn something new.
Now, let me see.
Now then,
you just watch.
You see, it's very easy.
Do you have something
to smooze with?
To do what with?
Well, you know--oh, here.
A smoozer like this.
These are gonna
be hot cakes?
Well, as soon as
they bloop a little.
What do you mean Harold
only fixes flats?
Yes, I saw his sign.
Yes, I heard it
on the radio.
Well, where can I get
a head gasket?
Thank you.
I'll try them.
That's enough blooping.
Now, watch closely
and you'll see...
There...
There we go...
[Sizzling]
Do you have a pots cover?
A what?
A pots cover.
This is a pots cover.
Ohh.
1, 2, 3. 4. There!
I can't wait
till tomorrow morning.
I need a head gasket now--
never mind.
Any luck, mister?
No. I'll never get
those apples to market.
I wouldn't worry.
A couple of truckers told me
the price was holding firm.
$1.75.
Yeah? What is it?
$1.75. I could have
gotten that if I waited--
what are you doing
back there?
Making you
hot cakes.
Hot cakes!
That's all I need.
I haven't got
troubles enough?
Now, watch.
This is the last step.
See? Hot cakes?
Well, I'll
be doggoned.
How about that?
Yeah. How about that?
Yeah. That's
a perfect head gasket.
I wonder if I were to
put this in the truck...
Oh, no. It'd never work.
[Engine chugging]
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