Greek (2007–2011): Season 2, Episode 14 - Big Littles and Jumbo Shrimp - full transcript

Previously on Greek...

I hate to ask this,
but I need a rent check.

For the house.

Of course.

- Where's your car?
- I guess it got stolen.

- What's going on?
- Call you tomorrow?

- I don't know what I'm doing.
- I'm Fisher, the new hasher.

There's something you should know.
I got fired from the last 3 sororities.

He said when he walked in
he knew this was the place for him.

All in favor
of Rusty's golden boy Andy?

- I'm Jordan.
- I met a girl. She's beautiful.



- Does she want to join ZBZ?
- This is Jordan.

- The girl I was telling about.
- Where you going?

- To make my move.
- Nice!

Did your girl ever show up?

Tough break.
Man, I just met this awesome chick.

Chapter meeting. Three minutes.

That means adioso los pledge-os.

Come on. Let's go. Thanks for cleaning.
There's plenty more.

Later.

- Andylicious!
- My two favorite actives!

What are you guys up to?

We showed up early
so we don't have to sit on the floor.

Dibs on the Comfy Duct Tape chair!

Yeah. He really loves the chair.



So, when's our next ZBZ mixer?
I had a blast the other night.

I saw that. I saw that.
It's great.

That girl I was telling you about.
She said she knows you.

No. Not me.

- Very doubtful.
- Really?

Damn, because man,
I think I really like her.

I was hoping you could talk to her.

See if she likes me back.

Pledges out!

You better go, Andy.

We have a very full agenda tonight,
so please, pipe down.

Thank you, Luigi.

My friends, once again

we are heading into the heart-warmingest
few days of the Greek calendar year.

It's Big/Little weekend, everybody!

You promise to guide and support him
through every step of pledging.

You'll help him learn
his Kappa Tau history.

You'll make sure
they wear appropriate eye protection

when we use them
for the Paint Ball Target Practice.

You guys remember
what happened last year.

Now each pledge has selected
their first choice

and two alternates.

So, let's do this!

For his Big Brother,
Pledge Cue Ball has chosen, in order:

Wade, Beaver and Jeremy. Wade?

I'm already pledge educator, Cap.
If I do do both...

You said Doo-doo.

- You did say it.
- I pass.

I'll take him. Let me.

Sure you want to do that?

I'll pass.

Jeremy? You cool with Cue Ball?
Done. Jeremy takes Cue Ball.

Up next.

Please don't pick me.
Please don't pick me

Andy has chosen
Spitter, Beaver, and Ben Bennett.

This should be a no-brainer, right?

Sure. I'll take him.

Spitter takes Andylicious!

All right. Who's next?

- We need new recycling bins.
- I ordered them yesterday.

You're amazing.

Hang on.
I'm just gonna grab a snack.

It's me or we have been out
of Fruity Spindles for like a month?

I wouldn't know.
I don't eat those things.

Forgot they give you the toots.

No! No, they don't. That's Erica.
I just don't eat them.

I love you, Ash.

But if you keep doing
what you're doing

some of the girls are really
going to lose respect for you.

I'm not doing anything.

That's what I'm talking about.
The pantry is totally empty.

We're down to Saltines, Ash.
Saltines.

If that cupboard goes bare
they will turn on you.

Hell hath no fury like a ZBZ jonesing
for her Cheesaritos.

Right. Food! Got it. Thanks, Case.
I'll look into it.

- Just looking out for you.
- And as president,

I recognize the problem
and I am on top of it.

-= GREEK 214 =-
"Big Littles & Jumbo Shrimp"

VO : Arrow, Walid20-101

Thought we cancelled
the Tri-Pi Grunge mixer.

Very funny.

I'll let that slide since you're
loaning me your car. Thanks.

You wanna talk about
what happened the other night?

Look, I'm sorry
I dragged you into that, man.

And I'm sorry
I've been such a jerk lately.

Yeah, man.
Sorry isn't good enough.

First, you blow me off,
then you call me to pick your ass up.

Who was she?

Just a girl I met in town
a few weeks ago.

- We started hooking up.
- What about Frannie?

You know, I mean it is about her,
but it's not.

Mostly, Cal, it's just
boring rich kid trust fund stuff

you wouldn't understand
or care about.

But fortunately my brother lands
in half an hour at the airport.

If there's anyone in the world
that will get it, it's him.

But, I do appreciate your concern

and your car.

Thanks, little bro.

- We're out of ketchup.
- What? We can't be.

- It says right here we have a case.
- This is the last bottle.

It sounds like Rusty
having an asthma attack.

We need to order more tissues
to make bouquets for the Brunch.

Seriously? We're out?

So, this Big/Little Brunch thing.

That's where you blindfold us
and make us eat dog food, right?

Yeah, who told you?

This is the weekend you all find out
who your Big Sister is.

OK. I don't get it.
According to this inventory

we should have 20 boxes of tissue
in the store room.

There's nothing in there
but spider webs and glitter pens.

- I'll go check the garage.
- Thanks, Jordan.

When was the last time
you did inventory?

I'm doing it now?

Wait. We don't have a garage.

This is the first inventory?
What have you been doing?

I don't know.

Stuff.

You know, I know what the problem is.
We live in a house full of thieves.

Between late-night treats
and snacks for the walk to class,

every girl here uses this pantry
like their personal snack cart.

- But who would take ketchup?
- Or tissues?

We're soon going to find out!

Cause as President, I'm going to take
my master key and search every room

- until I find out.
- I don't know about that.

She's right.

If you go all Minority Report you'll
lose every friend you have in the house.

OK! Then how about this?

The most important thing
is that we find all the stuff.

How about I have an Amnesty Day?

Where anyone who finds something
can drop it off no questions.

Like they do with orphans
at the police station?

Exactly!

Just not as sad.

So, where is the garage?

Where's Dale?
Finally had enough of the babes,

blood and boobs
that make up Art History?

He thought he saw Jesus' face
in a pile of lawn clippings

so he ran home to call the news.

I've always wondered
what kind of people do that stuff.

Now I find out
they're exactly like I imagined.

Andy picked me
to be his big brother.

That's great.
I know how much you like him.

Liked him?

The problem isn't whether
or not I like him.

It's whether or not she likes him.

If I keep feeling the way I felt after
seeing them make out the other night,

I don't see myself being
the best big brother to Andy.

Trust me, having to second-guess
your big brother seriously sucks.

Problems with Bing?

You know what...

I promised that I'd never talk
about Evan in front of you.

But, if I hadn't,
I'd say he's really messed up right now.

Despite all of his screw-ups,
he's still my big brother.

He's been there for me.

I have to be there for him
any way I can.

If you can't make
that same promise for Andy,

you've got to find someone who can.

I stood up in front
of the whole house

and told them to take
a chance on this guy.

If I say I'm not into him
all of a sudden,

Cappie and everybody else
will think I'm a flake.

- Maybe she's not even into him.
- And maybe

he was just using his tongue to help her
get popcorn out of her teeth.

Come on.
A party kiss doesn't really count.

- It doesn't?
- No way. You can't tell me

you've never kissed a random guy
at a party just for the fun of it.

- I've not had that experience.
- You know what I mean.

These things happen
and they're not a big deal.

But, if I were you,
I would make sure

before it cost me
a great little brother.

- Excuse me.
- Hey, Jordan.

And a really hot girlfriend.

- Folks. Move it out.
- What do you want me to do?

Does your brother always give
so little notice before he visits?

Sometimes he just shows up.

He's a great guy.
You're gonna love him.

From all the things
your mother's told me, I can't wait.

Prodigal son,
squandered inheritance.

How often do you talk to my mother?

Mim and I have become text buddies.

And, you should know
she only refers to Patrick as a...

quote-unquote black sheep.

Well, Mim doesn't like my brother

because he turned his back
on her rules and her values,

and had the nerve
to do fine without them.

By the way,
he goes just by B. Sheep these days.

He's got you in a good mood,
which is great for me.

And it's good timing...

With Iota Kappa's application
turned in to Pan Hellenic

all I have to do is fill out
this utilities deposit and...

I'm all yours.

Wait. You need another check?

- What about the girls' dues?
- That went to the actual bills.

I didn't expect the phones
and cable would be so high.

With all the food they eat,
you think they'd bulk up

and generate enough body heat
to turn the furnace off.

Maybe we should get a personal trainer.
Add that to the wish list.

Right. We're gonna go.
We are moving.

Is that any way to say hi
to your older brother?

What's up, buddy?

- How you been?
- Good to see you.

You too, man.

Well, hello. Patrick Chambers.

Code name the Black Sheep.

Let's go, man.

All right.

Erica, wait. I thought
you couldn't eat Fruity Spindles?

No questions asked on Amnesty Day.
Thanks, Erica.

No problem.

- Amnesty Day is a success.
- Barely.

This is small stuff!
Where are the big ticket items?

Like the twenty pounds of jumbo shrimp
we got for Big/Little shrimp cocktails.

If that does turn up in a closet,
I say let it go.

- Nobody is snacking on jumbo shrimp.
- Maybe it's Frannie and the Ickies!

I thought of them.
I changed the codes to the locks.

There's no sign of any break in.

If it's not someone

outside, I guess the next thing
to do is start looking

at the new girls
who moved in this semester.

Or boys.

Art History's baffling to me.

Like, why are they called
Pre-Raphaelites

even though they came 200 years
after Raphael?

Don't ask me.
Every time Summerfield says Raphael,

I immediately think Ralphie Wiggums
from The Simpsons.

I love Ralph!
"Me fail English?

"That's unpossible."

What did you think
of the KT party the other night?

God. Can we please
not talk about that?

I am so embarrassed.

Embarrassed? Why?

How sometimes at a party, you'll kiss
somebody just for the fun of it?

Yeah, I mean, who hasn't?

I haven't. Ever.

- Me too.
- But then at the mixer I had two drinks

and like an idiot
I kissed one of your pledges.

For all I know he's told your house
what a slutty lush I am.

Not that I could deny it.
I was a slushy.

- He didn't say you were a slushy.
- So he was talking about it?

If he didn't say I was a slushy,
it means he said something else.

What did he say?

Did he say we did it?

Because we did not do it!
That lying dirt...

He didn't say you did.

Then what?

He said he likes you.

He did?

Oh, my God! That rules.

OK. What else did he say?
Tell me everything.

Ash, I'm just saying.

In my house growing up
if something went missing

the first suspect
was always the help.

He does have the codes to the locks.
He's new to the house.

It's not a good idea
to accuse someone of stealing

because he's the new guy.

That's called
reverse discrimination.

Or reverse sexism or reverse...
something else we shouldn't do.

She's right, Becks.
If he was a thief

Ash would have heard about it
when she checked his references.

You did check his references?

- Kind of.
- You're joking, right?

What's the point
of calling references

if they're gonna do is lie
about bogus reasons for firing him?

Fired?

- The whole house doesn't have to know.
- Why was he fired?

Because he's so handsome.

He was sexually harassed
and they didn't want to get sued.

But who told you that
if you never talked to them?

He did!

- What are you doing?
- Waiting for you to realize exactly

how crazy that sounds.

The Beaver Bowl XXI! Beaver on Beaver.
Beaver shoots.

He scores right away!
OK. Ball's back in play.

Other team Beaver
setting up for a score.

Come on. Get over there!

Nice save.

So, Beav, since you were
Andy's second choice, I was wondering

if you'd be interested in taking him
on as little brother.

I'd love to.

But I can't.

Because of Scooby.

- Who's Scooby?
- Mickey "Scooby" Skubella.

One of the most promising pledges
ever accept a bid from Kappa Tau.

He was smart, funny,
a great athlete.

He was Beaver's first
and unfortunately last little brother.

They were perfect for one another.
In fact,

they won or placed
in every event during Greek Week.

Only to be disqualified
by a horrific doping scandal.

- He was on steroids?
- No. Actual dope.

Scooby was a reefer fiend.

A problem Beaver did not help him
see the dangers of.

He told me he was
a Rastafarian with cataracts!

After that, it went downhill for Scoobs.
Dropped out of school.

Which is why,
one day he hitched a ride from some guy

selling speakers out of his van
and was never seen again.

- He was kidnapped?
- No, he went to Florida.

- University of Florida?
- He worked at the airport.

- That's beside the point.
- Why is that Beaver's fault?

I'd love to tell you,
but you keep asking questions.

- Sorry.
- The reason it's Beaver's fault,

is he should be looking out
for his little brother.

Oh, man.

I should go check on him.
I'll be right back.

It hurts so bad, Cap.

I'm not gonna lie.
You're still the best.

Thank you, sir.

Drink-Giver?

- Give us more please.
- Be right back.

I'm glad your girlfriend didn't join us.
I got a very strong...

vibe of disapproval.

She's all right, though. She's OK.

- That's a ringing endorsement.
- Mom likes her.

Then she's a keeper!
Oh, my God.

Come on,
I don't wanna talk about Frannie.

- I wanna talk about you.
- OK. Good choice.

Patrick Chambers.
Hit me.

You traded it all for a life of...

sun, sand and surfboard rentals.

I gotta ask.
Do you miss the family fold?

Are you happy to be free
of the responsibilities of the power,

and prestige and the money?

No to the power.

No to the prestige
and the money was never the problem.

The problem was the ropes
attached to the money.

But the thing I regret
is not seeing more of you.

- I'm glad you're here.
- I am too.

Chamber-Maid?

No way,
what the hell are you doing here?

I live here,
and I go to school here occasionally.

- Oh, yeah, of course.
- What're you doing here?

Hanging out with my brother.

Have a seat.

Oh, no!
Don't tell me you guys are on the outs.

What about all those summers together
at Camp Kitchywawa?

- Those lanyard classes mean nothing?
- That was a long time ago, Patrick.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

The last time I saw you two together

you were covered in mud
from head to toe.

The scavenger hunt with the traing bras.
I've actually modified that

- into a very popular pledge prank.
- Good man.

That was one of my more
inspired camp activity creations.

- I wasn't the one who covered in mud.
- That's right.

We had to grease you up with mud

because you got stuck sneaking
into the trapdoor

under the CIT Girls cabin.

Cap, have a seat, man.
Let's get a beer.

I'll get another round.

All right. Good.

Good, good.

- Cheers. Here we go.
- All right.

Here's to old times.

Natalie, thank you for taking
the time to come over.

I'm sure as President you're busy

with your own Gamma Psi Big/Little
preparations so we'll keep this short.

Not at all.
I love coming to the ZBZ house.

- It's so pretty.
- Thanks.

What we really want to talk
to you about is Fisher.

He was the best hasher
Gamma Psi ever had.

Polite, thorough, efficient...

Sounds like you really had
the hots for him.

We were very satisfied
with his performance, yes.

When you say performance, do you mean
in the kitchen or the bedroom?

Excuse me?

What she means is
did he do any other work for you?

He just worked in our kitchen.

Until things disappeared.

Then we canned him.

- But you never pressed charges?
- Oh, no. We had no solid proof.

Well, that settles it.
Thank you so much, Natalie.

Like, I said, we had no solid proof,

but I'm happy to say
since we let Fisher go,

every piece of food in our house
has been left untouched.

We know that's saying a lot
at the Gamma Psi house.

- What is going on with you?
- I'm sorry, but she is obviously

- a sexual predator.
- She can't even say the word sex.

I'm not going to ruin
an innocent guy's reputation

based on the word of some Gamma Psi.

Especially a guy
you have a crush on.

Fisher is an employee
of the Zeta Beta Zeta house

and I am its President.

And as its President, I am required

to make decisions
that speak for each of my sisters.

It is my belief as President

that my sisters would prefer to treat
our employees with fairness and decency.

And I do not have a crush on him!

She totally has a crush on him.

- I'm fine!
- No. You know my rule.

If the drinks are on you,

then the drunks are on me.

I'm not drunk.
This place just has too many stairs.

That's right.
We'll get those removed.

Thanks for helping me with him.

Are you kidding?
It was good to see him again.

Right.

I should go.
I got that Big/Little party tomorrow...

- You should try to start those sober.
- I should try.

- I'll see you.
- OK.

- Have a safe flight back.
- Later, Cappie!

For a second there I thought you guys
were going to kiss.

I can't believe Cappie
and I spent two hours together

- and no one threw a punch.
- I knew we forgot something.

No. Sit on bed.

I need to talk to you.
It's about a girl.

Definitely break up with her.
She's just like mom.

- It's borderline oedipal.
- No, it's not about Frannie.

I guess it's a little bit
about Frannie.

I've been cheating on her.

With a townie that I met in a bar.

She doesn't know my real name
because I don't want her to.

The other night,
I parked my car a few blocks away

so she wouldn't see that
I had money and it was stolen.

That's what God made
insurance for, right?

Look, ever since I took my trust...

Ever since I signed my life away
to the Chambers International,

I've become this person.

I buy my way out of everything.
I treat my friends like crap.

You'll get used to it.

Look at Dad.

I don't want to be like Dad.

When I was sitting in the bar
I was thinking

I should just chuck it all away
and move to Costa Rica with you.

Bad idea.

Why?

Because without you here,
I'd never find a sympathetic ear.

Why would you need sympathy?

Grow up, Ev.

It's a cold world out there.

When the fire goes out,
it's nice to know someone with a match.

Thank you.

How much do you need?

Not that much.
Just some getting by money.

How much?

Fifty grand.

Large coffee. Black.

It's a myth that caffeine
helps a hangover.

Nice sales pitch.

Why don't you try
pushing the croissant?

I hate my job.

So, Joni.

What do you do for fun?
Besides debunking caffeine myths

and lighting up this world
with that glorious smile?

OK, forget it.

I'll get his.

- Everyone else is getting some.
- Why not you?

I'll have one large cappuccino,
please.

You know I had a dream last night.

We were hanging out at Dobler's
and you weren't an ass.

Did you know how to say
thank you in your dream?

Still an ass.

And an idiot.

I was really looking
forward to seeing Patrick.

I thought that we had this
brother telepathy thing.

He'd know when I really needed him.

First of all, I think

you have to be twins for that
telepathy thing to work.

And second, I think you've
got the wrong big brother.

Why's that?

Because as much as I enjoy
hanging out with Patrick,

he's never done anything
without having something in it for him.

Even the Training Bra Scavenger Hunt was
just a ruse to divert you long enough

so he could score
with Tammy Summers.

The Camp President?

- Who told you that?
- She did.

She had the softest lips.

Drunk guy's friend.
Your order's up.

- He's not my friend.
- He's not my friend.

First rule of avoiding
disappointment...

Lower your expectations.

Another killer party.

- Rock and roll!
- A little birdie told me

you had a talk with Jordan about me.

I just said you liked her
and we spent the next hour deciding

whether she should slip a note
under your door or text you.

Good choice.

Thanks.

Nice.

Pledge Cue Ball!

For the next hour,

feel the bonds of brotherhood

your new big brother...

Who is it? Who is it?

We have to talk.

Look how nervous the pledges are.
That's hilarious.

- That was us last year.
- I love being an active.

Nobody chose you
for big brother, right?

Don't rub it in.

I was a couple guy's second choice
and some thirds too.

How'do you like to be
somebody's number one?

Wait, who?

Pledge Andylicious!

For the next hour enjoy the physical

bond of brotherhood

- your new Big Brother...
- Wait!

I'm a righty.

Come here.

Seriously? Who?

Who is it?

Is he here now?

Just tell me later.

Three more shots please.

- You got it.
- This is the best way to handle this?

Absolutely. It's the only way
to save Ashleigh from herself.

Until she can admit her crush
on Fisher she won't see

it's getting in the way
of her responsibilities to the house.

And believe me, a drunk Ashleigh,
is an honest Ashleigh.

I can't believe
you wanted to do shots.

Usually,
you're such a fuddy-duddy drinker.

That's pretty honest.

- To Ashleigh!
- To me!

I'm so drunk.

She really is.
Believe me, I would know!

Did you steal that shirt
from Blues Clues?

We want to ask you about Fisher.

Can you believe that girl Natalie?

What a slaggy-slag-slag.

No. She's horrible.

She is horrible.
That's a good point.

You're sure you don't
have a crush on Fisher?

Scout's honor.

But ask me if we're doing it.

So, when does ZBZ do Big/Little?

- Tomorrow. We're having a Brunch.
- Go, go, go!

- I don't think it'll be as fun as this.
- I'm sure you'll have a cool Big Sis.

She is cool.
It's Rusty's sister, Casey.

This Rusty?

That's awesome!

Rock and roll.

Spitter and Andy.

You have completed
your mandatory hour of bondage...

Bonding. I mean.

We do not need those rumors
around campus again.

Congratulations.

The night is yours to bask in the glow
of fraternal impossibilitment.

Sorry,

I stayed out later
last night than I should have.

Enjoy.

Congratulations.

I'm going for a hamburger.
You guys good?

I better hold off.
I've got early practice tomorrow.

I'm so happy you brought me here.

What do I do next?
Your my Big Bro, Right?

How are your Beer Pong skills?

Terrible. I suck at it.

Follow me, Little Bro!

The key to Beer Pong

is you have to practice
the fundamentals.

Remember Andy...

Keep that elbow in
and hold the follow through.

- Is this a normal KT thing?
- A true Kappa Tau

must learn how to compete
on every level of sobriety.

Follow through.

Set 'em up. One more match.
I'll play left handed.

Come on, Andy.

You're OK.

I think you're the best Presidents
that ZBZ has ever had.

Unfortunately, if you want to stay one,
you have to fire Fisher.

Why?

But I really like him.

You guys have no idea what it's like

to go through college
without a boyfriend.

I mean, you went from...

from Cappie to Evan

to Max.

And then you went from...

from Evan to Cappie to...

If she says Max I will cut you.

I just don't...

get why I should
have to give up this boyfriend

if we don't have any proof.

She's right.
We need proof.

I totally agree.

OK, then this is what we do.

You text Fisher.

Tell him there's groceries
that need to be put away.

Then if all the food is there
in the morning...

We'll know he isn't the thief.
That's a great plan.

I love it!

I love it.

- Let's get your phone out.
- Can you get it?

Nice.

Down. Yeah, F.
Under F.

Press it.

Come on. Typey-typey.

What if he is the thief?

Then at least you'll know.

And we'll help you find
somebody better.

Why am I the only one who's drunk?

This is it.

I guess.

- You gonna make me beg for it?
- No. I wouldn't do that to you.

- I need you to answer one question.
- Yes, I stole your toothbrush.

Would you tell me to stay the course
if you didn't need me to be your bank?

Why does everything have to come
with strings attached?

There's no strings.
It's a question.

You'd enjoy living in a foreign country
working your ass off to pay rent?

- Do you think I would?
- What does it matter?

Your my big brother
and you should want what's best for me.

And help me when I really
don't know what to do.

People got to look out
for themselves.

It's not personal.
It's just life.

That's it?

Come on.

You've really got to relax.

Why don't you come visit
some weekend?

Seriously! Get yourself a tan.

Thanks, little brother.

Sorry.

If Fisher is a criminal,

would you guys hate me
if I kept seeing him?

Be smart.
Like Anne Hathaway.

I'd keep dating him.

You would not.

I wouldn't leave him alone
with my purse, but come on? He's hot.

Touch him and I'll cut you
even faster than she would.

Freeze!

- Dude.
- You're busted, Fisher!

Wait, wait!

You know him?

He's Fisher's roommate.

And he's a thief.

Coming up.

Is it a miracle
or a smelly old pile of compost?

Meet a local CRU student

who claims he found Jesus
in a pile of grass clippings.

After the break!

Did you learn nothing
from the Scooby story?

I didn't mean for him
to get that drunk.

He's just really bad at Beer Pong.

I guess I got a little carried away.

Anyone can become a Big Brother.

It's how you act afterwards
that defines you.

I didn't really want
to be his Big Brother?

- Why not? Because of the girl?
- No. What girl?

Sit down.

Sit down.

You think I'm blind?
If there's anyone who understands

how a girl can change the way
you feel about a friend...

It's your Big Brother.
Mostly because of your big sister.

Good god this campus is incestuous.

He hooked up with her before
I could even tell her I liked her.

They're all into each other
and I want to puke around them.

I was going to ask Ben
to be his Big Brother,

but I was too late for that, too.

Why'd you say yes
in the first place?

I fought so hard convincing you
to let him in the house,

I felt like if I changed my mind,

you'd question
my judgment as an active.

That was stupid.

Ben can be Andy's big brother?

I'm afraid not.
That's the thing about responsibility.

Once you take it on,
there's no getting out of it.

I can't believe out of all
the people on campus,

you're the one teaching me
about responsibility.

And apparently,
a little something about irony.

Andy. There you are.

Come on, buddy.
You got football practice. 20 minutes.

I thought you would feel that way.
I wasn't sure what you would need more.

A little jolt of caffeine?

Or electrolyte replacement?

What do you think?

Come on.

Come on.

Let's go.

Rise and shine.

Come on, buddy.

Come on.

Open those eyes!

This is unpossible.

- Are you, OK?
- A little hangover-induced vertigo.

It'll pass. I hope.

Sorry.

Next time we'll go
easier on the truth shots.

Are you kidding? I'd do a hundred shots
to find out Fisher wasn't the thief.

How did he take the news?

He felt terrible.

He also promises never to get
a roommate off of Craigslist.

Of course, you know as his employer,

you still have to keep
your relationship a secret.

A secret boyfriend is
better than no boyfriend, right?

Right.

You OK with that, Fisher?

Anything for Ashleigh.

Great.

I've been trying to get a hold of
you all night. Where've you been?

Saying goodbye to my brother.

Turns out
he didn't come here for the fun

He just wanted to ask me
for some emergency cash.

I think your mom was right.

You're a better person
than your brother.

- What's this?
- This?

I guess this is your emergency cash.

Plus a little extra
for that personal trainer.

That is so not fair, Evan.

I'm surprised you and Patrick
didn't hit it off.

You have so much in common.

You offered to help me with the house.
This was your idea.

You know I'm not Patrick.

Do I?

Let's go.

What the hell are you doing here?

Checking in on you.
That's what big brothers do.

All right.

- Is that our boy?
- Yep.

Well done.

Well done.

This might not be
as hard as I thought.

It's not Andy's fault
that Jordan likes him instead of me.

Look at him.
Any guy that can make it

to football practice after losing
four straight sets of Beer Pong

has probably got
a good amount of Kappa Tau in him.

At least he used to.

You want to get breakfast?

Sure.
Pumpkin pancakes?

You love those.

- Ohio special?
- Yeah, sounds good.