Greek (2007–2011): Season 1, Episode 19 - No Campus for Old Rules - full transcript

- Previously on Greek
- Enough!

Clearly you people are
unable to regulate yourselves,

so from this day forward,

the university will do it for you.
As dean of students,

you'll answer to me now.

University Students Against Greeks.
Now the time to politicize my position.

- I had posters made up.
- Posters?

We gotta grow this thing, Dale.

I've got a hammer and the rest
of you guys can just use your shoes.

Much as I disagree with U-SAG,
it's important to Dale.

I thought the goal is
to get rid of the Greek system.



It is.
Dale wants to do it his way.

- We should mix with those guys.
- Guys or guy?

I'll pay you $500
to stay away from Casey.

- Like a buy off?
- Call it what you want.

- You get out of my face.
- How about $1,000?

- I don't think I'm up for it.
- Another raincheck?

I don't think so.

Hold up, guys.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So, I was in the neighborhood.

I wanted to see if you could
use a study break, having coffee.

That's so funny.

I was just thinking
I needed some coffee.

- I know you well.
- You do.



Well.

Fluff up your pom-poms, ladies.

This weekend our very own Titans
are taking on the A&M Farmhands

in the Basketball
Conference Championship!

There'll be tons going on this week.

Starting tomorrow night
with the Spirit Social at Dobler's

and ending with the game on Saturday.

Everyone, bring your Titan spirit!

Actually,

a few slacking sisters
didn't make study hours this week

so they unfortunately can't attend
the Spirit Social tomorrow night.

The following pledges:

Mandi, Brenda and Rebecca.

Who will be missing two
of ZBZ's great traditions:

supporting our basketball team

and flirting with
our basketball players.

This is so not fair.

And it wouldn't be fair
if you enjoyed the same privileges

as girls who've pulled
twice their weight.

Speaking of twice their weight.

Sorry, totally lost track of time.
I was at Kappa Tau.

Where you've been every time
there were study hours this week.

I have a 3.0.

What, I have to be
a Rhodes scholar now, too?

We'll be thinking of you when we're

brushing up against our very hot,

very agile basketball team.

And the rest of you,
I'll see at Dobler's.

Hold on, sorry. One more.

An active.

Ashleigh missed study
hours this week, too.

Bedposts.

Toughest roll in bowling.

Spitter, come here.

All right, you're gonna want
to hit the seven pin at an angle,

and launch it into the ten pin, right?

Can I have an ibuprofen first?

No pain, no ten bucks from Wade.
Now, strap in.

We are green for go.

Come on! Keep going.

Come on!

Who told you? Ten bucks.

Hold up. What was that?
Was that the phone?

It's the call!

Nope, not the call.

Constable.

What seems to be the trouble?

You guys are over the
designated Greek noise limit.

Noise limit?

Yeah. I was just walking the Row

when this little guy hit 82 D's
right outside your house.

I haven't seen readings like
that since the Hannah Montana concert.

And I don't apologize for being a fan.

It's... It's the middle of the day!

Yeah.

You boys stay out of treble.

Treble. Good one.

- Yeah, shutting the door now.
- I just said treble instead of trouble.

Yeah. Because there's a B in it!

My God, these restrictions!

What's next? We'll have to
stop throwing pledges off the roof?

Spitter, get it!

By the glory of God

and the ingenuity
of Alexander Graham Bell,

you have reached the CRU
chapter of the Kappa Tau Fraternity.

- This is Pledge Cartwright...
- Spitter!

Pledge Spitter speaking.

To which brother may I direct your...

No, just ask who it is!

Who's calling?

We haven't won in 25 years.

Then we're due.

Was it the ticket office?

Yeah. We won some kind of lottery.

Not just "some kind"

of lottery, Spitter,
but the best seats

to the Conference Basketball Finals,

where we will paint our faces,
scream like idiots,

and embarrass ourselves
and our hallowed alma mater

on national TV.

- Courtside!
- Yeah!

Season 1 - Episode 19
" No Campus for Old Rules "

- Synchro : ¤AkaZab¤

- Transcript : Swsub-sub

How could you skip Study
Hours during Spirit Week?

Spirit Week doesn't just happen, Case.
It requires planning.

Which means, as Social Chair, I have
to sit in meetings with other Social

Chairs to discuss fresh,
fun places for Spirit Night.

Because I missed study hours to do it,

my reward is an evening sharing
Cheesaritos and textbooks

with a bunch of pledges
while the rest of you party all night.

Wait.

I'll be all alone.

What if that Lambda Sig
ass-clown Shane's

at the Spirit Social tomorrow night?

Who's going to shoot
dirty looks at him for me?

I would've.

My grades are great.
Why do I have to do stupid study hours?

Rules suck.

In the house, out of the house...

Remember when we didn't
have restrictions?

When we didn't have party patrol
stamping our hand that we're 21?

- I know I'm 21.
- Or keg limits. Or curfews.

I hate curfews!

I miss boys raiding
our fridge after parties.

You think they miss our Hot Pockets?

I think I'm over all rules.

Everywhere,
ever.

You know what?

Screw it.

You've done our house a huge service,
Ashleigh Howard,

so

I'm granting you a presidential
pardon on this week's study hours.

Can you do that?

Well, I'm doing it now.

I knew our friendship would
pay off big time some day.

Yeah!

Hey, frat boy.

Tina.

You OK walking with the enemy?

Thanks to all my time around Dale,

I'm learning to separate
the sinner from the sin.

You can't be spending that much time
with him. I haven't seen you in weeks.

Did you miss me?

Maybe.

So, you probably hate basketball

and think it's this
gender-biased boys'club...

I love basketball!

I actually play a
pretty mean point guard.

Very aggressive.

I'd expect nothing less.

Hey, Rusty.

Hey, U-SAG flier?
Greeks are weak.

Fight the power, brother.

Hey,
they're gonna trash the leftover pizza

at the World Hunger Club
if anyone would like some!

Pizza.

I'm done for the day.

Sanjay... Carol...

You guys are faithless!

Looks like anti-Greek
sentiment has fizzled.

We just need a new approach.

- Hey, sir.
- Dale.

Could I interest you
in a free stress test?

Sure.

So, why were you asking
me about basketball?

The Conference Finals are Saturday.

I was thinking maybe
you'd want to go with me.

Where are you going?

- I'd love to.
- Great.

They're courtside seats.

We can paint our faces or something.

How'd you get courtside?
Tickets aren't on sale yet.

It's this lottery thing,
for all the houses.

You mean, only the Greeks were eligible?

No, I mean, we can bring guests.

So... Hey, what if we paint
a "G" on my chest and an "O" on yours?

Rusty, you might want to rethink that.

Wait, why should your frats
be rewarded for exclusivity?

OK, because Greeks have always
been the biggest supporters.

And if you think about it, without our
houses, U- SAG probably wouldn't exist.

We should thank polluters
for spawning environmental groups?

Point, Tina.

Which maybe I should contact since

you decimated half a rainforest
printing these fliers.

Nice volley Rus.

The frats won't print rush
propaganda next year? Interesting.

- This is like Wimbledon.
- Oh, my God.

He's a divine messenger.

Cool.

Titans, halt.

Hey, we're here for our
Conference Championship tickets.

You might have heard that,

Kappa Tau is the winning house.

Kappa Tau...

You egged the Central State
team bus last year, right?

If we can expedite this,
we're late for Dobler's.

Sure.

"Uh-oh!"

What "uh-oh?"
What's wrong?

- There's a problem with the tickets.
- No, no, there should be no...

Can you check again?

This is kind of the most important
thing that's ever happened to us.

So...

I'm trying.

It won't let me release them.

Well...

Give us the tickets!

Beaver.
Beaver, calm down.

Calm down I'll take care.
I'll take care of this. I am so sorry.

Can you please just...
Nice hat.

I demand satisfaction.

Satisfaction?

Where are you going?

It's Evan and Cappie.

You're not dating either of them.

Maybe one of them will throw a punch.

I want our tickets!

Hey, guys. What's up?

Some,
student group complained about Greeks

being the only students
in the ticket lottery so.

After talks with the dean and
consulting with the other houses...

Skip to the part where
we get our tickets.

Since we're still working to have
the administration lighten up on us,

we decided that making an issue
of the tickets now could result

in jeopardizing the bigger picture.

Which means we could
lose the battle and the war.

Yeah. Our main focus has
to be on ending the restrictions.

And, as administration liaison,
I have the dean's ear.

His rear?

And what he wants is
for us to toe the line.

- Now it's about playing by the rules.
- We have!

There's been no brawling, no hazing,
no drunken peeing in the Olympic pool...

- I heard...
- We weren't drunk.

Look, Cap, we play ball now,

down the road we'll be in the position
to take back the reins. And the tickets.

I don't want to play ball,
I want to watch it, courtside!

- This weekend.
- We're not sticking our necks out,

and antagonizing the dean

and the Board of Administrators
just to free up your tickets.

Besides, from what I've heard,

the Kappa Taus have all
the tickets they can handle.

Evan.

Because the Kappa Taus still
remember what it's like to have fun.

You know fun, Evs?

F-U...

"N"?

Nope.

That's it.

I learned so much from
that center from Australia.

- Seven feet is so the new six-one.
- I know, right?

Who knew it could be so hot
talking straight into a guy's pecs?

Did I miss something?

Are study hours no longer required?

We're talking, Becks.

Who had the biggest hands?
Number 22 or 46?

No, seriously.
Why did Ashleigh get to go tonight

while the rest of us sat around
and pretended to study?

As ZBZ President, I pardoned her.

Ashleigh missed study hours
planning the social events.

- Not hanging out at Kappa Tau.
- With your ex-boyfriend?

- Which is totally irrelevant.
- Right.

What about the fact
that she's your best friend?

Is that irrelevant?

No one asked any of the pledges
if we had good excuses for not going.

What are the rules on a president
showing favoritism to her best friend?

- She's so awesome.
- I know. Right?

Hey,

did you have anything to do with the
dean freezing our basketball tickets?

No, that was more Tina's idea.
It's pretty great?

Yeah, real great, Dale.

Rusty, U-SAG needed an issue
to rally people and now we have one.

We've got 90 signatures

for a resolution to abolish
the Greek ticket lottery altogether.

We'll present it at the Board
of Administrators meeting.

Tina's out right now
getting more signatures.

Why can't you two just stop
your assault on the Greeks?

Rusty, from

Dionysus to your present-day acolytes,
the Greeks have embraced

nothing but sacrilege and lust.
I can't stand by.

- These aren't real names.
- What do you mean?

Look.

Colonel Mustard?

Butts McGee?

All right, this one's real.
Haywood Jablome.

That's not how you pronounce that.

I mean.

Think about it.

All right, well,

well, there's some jokers on here,
but most of these are fine.

Can you believe it?
U- SAG's been reborn.

Resurrections rock.

It's Watergate all over again.

I know. I still can't believe
she pardoned her and we couldn't go.

It's so stupid.

Madam President.

This is ridiculous.

- I'm just going to apologize.
- Good idea.

I wouldn't if I were you.

OK, everybody,

it's time to clear the air.

I admit it,

I made a mistake.
So there's only one thing I can do.

Resign?

Apologize.

In my mind I was making a small
exception for Ashleigh

because of the work
she was doing for the house,

and I realize now

it might seem unfair to not give
the same treatment to everyone else.

So
for this week,

I'm fully pardoning the rest
of the pledges.

I stepped over the line,
and abused my position as president

and I was wrong.

I screwed up.

And I'm sorry.

Accepted, Case.
No biggie.

Works for me.

Thanks, everyone.

Why would you discuss
the exclusively-Greek ticket lottery

with the head of a group
that hates Greeks?

I was actually talking about it
to a girl. I was trying to impress her.

She's part of U-SAG, too.

She's infuriating,
but she's really kinda cute.

Just like you, Spitter.

Has it occurred to you that
all the girls you like hate the Greeks?

You should really talk to someone
about that. But not your roommate.

Listen, Spitter, don't sweat it, OK?

We'll just make a virtue
of this self-destructive vice

of yours. Follow your heart.

Stay close to Ms. U-SAG.

- See what their next move is.
- Be a spy.

Like Jason Bourne.

Or like the monkey
in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

What're you gonna do?

I'm gonna handle the
other part of the equation.

All right, now run along, little monkey.
Dean Bowman.

Nice goat.

Very distinguished.

It's a Van Dyke.

How racy of you to say so, sir.

- Make it quick, Mr. Cappie, I'm busy.
- OK, all right.

OK, hypothetically, let's say a bully
comes along and steals a boy's lunch,

- and now that boy is real hungry.
- Tragic.

The bully shouldn't be stealing lunches.

You agree that the lunch
be returned to the rightful owner.

Absolutely. Unless the
rightful owner only had the lunch

in the first place because he had
exclusive rights to the sandwich shop.

No said anything about a sandwich shop.
Maybe he made the sandwich at home.

Maybe.
But that wouldn't fit the metaphor.

Are we speaking metaphorically?

OK, OK.

We'd like our tickets back.

And now I'm kind of hungry.
I wouldn't mind some lunch.

The fate of the tickets is in the
hands of the Board of Administrators.

Personally, I believe the lottery
should be rescinded permanently.

The Greek system doesn't
deserve special treatment,

especially after last
semester's incidents.

- This is all part of the new rules.
- Which are overkill!

Overkill or not, they're the rules.

And we all have to live by them.

Otherwise, there'd be chaos.

Chaos?

No winning tickets
with a Greek-only lottery.

Thank you.

Hey, Tina. What a coincidence.
What are you doing here?

I had no idea you'd be out here.
What are you up to?

Getting signatures to bolster
our position at the Board meeting.

What are you up to?

What makes you think I'm up to anything?

Because you're acting all nicey-nice.

You still want to go to
the basketball game together?

Well, that's kind of tricky,
since I no longer have any tickets.

And you know that,

because you're the reason
that I and...

... and my brothers, we don't have any.

Well, you can still get some.
Just wait in line like everybody else.

I don't care that much
about going to the game.

Then why did you ask me to go with you?

You're really not
making much sense, Rusty.

Oh, my God!

Excited about the game, Mandi?
You going?

I don't know.

Well, you're totally free
and clear to go and have fun.

Thanks, Big Sis.
How presidential of you.

Can I skip study hours next week, Casey?

I need to help plan
our philanthropy project.

That sounds like a good excuse to me.

I screwed up. I said so.
There will be no more exceptions.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

But wait.

My boyfriend is gonna
be in town for a few days.

I want to spend as much
time with him as possible.

Is boyfriend time a pardonable offense?

He's pre-med.

We could practice CPR during study hours
then I could teach it to the house.

Excellent!

OK, you guys, can't we just let this go?

Yeah, sure.

I mean, it's not like
my love life is more important

than giving your BFF the opportunity
to ogle hot jocks at Dobler's.

Thanks a lot.

Pardon me?
You were saying?

Thanks.
Good night.

Thank you.
Have a good evening.

Jeez.

You are way above the Greek noise limit!

Hysterical.

- Now get out of here.
- Before we do sir,

if you wouldn't mind blowing into this
before you drive your lovely date home.

I will not.

What is this?

That? That's a 500-dollar ticket.

In crayon?

I noticed you had a keg in there.

According to campus regulations
you were supposed to check Ids

and pass out wristbands.

Everyone was over 50.

How'd you know if you didn't card 'em?

We all need to live by the rules.

Your exact words, if I'm not mistaken.

Exact words.

Excuse me, Sloan.

And your solution to rules
you don't like would be...?

Change them?

You really willing to do what
it takes to change the rules?

OK, but no kissing.
It's too personal.

If you want your tickets back,

come to the Board of Administrators
meeting tomorrow afternoon.

- Present your case.
- Great, we'll talk some b-ball.

Get our tickets back before the game.

We're not just talking
about the ticket lottery.

- We're not?
- No.

I plan to recommend that all
the restrictions be made permanent.

You argue the Greek position.

If you can convince the board,
you win, the tickets are yours

and the Greeks will get
all their privileges back.

And,

- if I don't convince them?
- You lose it all. For good.

Good night.

Good night.

'Night.

Drive safely.

Thanks.

Well, nice work, man.

You made this a huge deal
when it didn't need to be.

Must use last bomb wisely.

Are you listening?

Now the fate of the entire
Greek system is in the hands

of a flaky, alcoholic degenerate.

I am not an alcoholic.

I'm Skulltar, intergalactic hero.

Look, I typed these up for you, Cappie.

They're talking points for today.

Consider them damage control and a gift.

Do not need them.

I've got a gravity blaster with an
entropy shield. I should be fine.

Point n°1: "Greeks provide housing
that the school will have to make up

for should restrictions
drive students from rush."

Point two: "The Chrilon Nebula
is the source of all planetary grief."

Hey!

All right.

I think I'll be just fine
without your talking points.

Go paddle up your back channel,
Evan-escence.

Leave the up-front stuff to me.

You're playing Fight Night, Skulltar.

I am?

I don't even get a "hello" anymore?

I'm gonna really have to rethink
this whole friendship thing, Case.

I didn't even see you there.

I guess I'm a little distracted.

Go ahead, sit down.
I could use a break.

Sorry, I...

- Force of habit.
- It's OK. It's not mine.

So, what are you doing?

Background check on the professors
on the Board of Administrators.

Seeing if there's
any strings I can pull.

I might have to do
some influence peddling.

You really think Cappie's
going to tank this thing?

Well, the Zbzs will be in
the front row to show our support.

Yeah, no offense,

but I think the Zbzs
should probably lay low on this one.

Just 'cause we don't
want to remind the board

where all the restrictions started.

Right.

- Rules suck.
- Yeah.

I think we should make
a rule against rules.

- You would have my vote.
- I could use it.

I sort made this presidential decision
that the girls aren't too keen on.

Rebecca called me out and
the reaction has been crazy.

I apologized, but no one's buying it.

What'd Frannie say?

You're not serious.

I know Frannie's made
some pretty big mistakes,

but she and I talked a bit

during the ZBZ days. She actually
gave me some really good advice.

People can surprise you.

Hey.

Hey, yourself.

Behold, Rusty.

The U-SAG heart beats strong.

Hey, Sanjay, give me my phone sheet.
I'm gonna roll some calls.

U- SAG, Greeks are weak.

- I'll get the phone sheet.
- Yeah, thank you.

Dale, this is our room, not yours.

I'm trying to calculate how
much funds we have for a media buy.

Sorry.

- Dale, why are you doing this to me?
- More boldface.

Go crazy with the boldface.

To you? Rusty, this is for you, OK?

The way I see it, I'm saving
your peeps from eternal damnation.

I'm your own personal
"Get Out of Hell Free" card.

- Why are you wearing a suit?
- It's for my speech.

Your speech?

We got 300 signatures.

I am the vessel through
which those voices must be heard.

Frannie,

can I talk to you?

Of course. What's up?

I was hoping I could get
some advice about the house.

Absolutely.

Anything I can do.

It's about the whole
study hours debacle.

Some of the girls are
starting to dismiss you?

Disregard you?

Yep.

Case,

there's a reason
why bees have a queen.

Otherwise,
it's just a big hive mentality.

The girls are starting
to question your authority

and

you need to stop the swarm
before they revolt.

You're saying I've lost control?

You will if you keep trying
to win them over with honey.

You're the president, poodle.

- You're not one of them anymore.
- But how do I turn this back around?

I said I was sorry publicly.

Did President Ford

apologize for pardoning Nixon?

No.

Do you think you were
wrong to pardon Ashleigh?

Not completely.

Then stop apologizing.

They want their pound of flesh.

Hell, they'll take every pound
you give them. But they don't need it.

One pound is all they get.

Set up a forum,
let them vent,

and then shut them down.

Vent,

shut down.

You can't show people
where they need to go

if you don't step out in front.

Admit it. A little humble pie now and
then is good for Princess Cartwright.

You know my stance
on Ex and Becks fighting.

I know, you're Switzerland.

That's a big no on the headdress,
Pocahontas.

Come on. I'll score points
with the anthropology professor.

Spitter, what do you think?

Native American headdress
or Scottish kilt?

Maybe both.

Forget the costumes, Cappie.
You need to focus on your speech.

Because U-SAG is gaining
some serious traction

and Dale's gonna be speaking for
them against you at the meeting today.

Well, I'll just have to go naked, then.

- Welcome to 40 minutes ago.
- This isn't a joke, Cap.

Dale's got a secret weapon.

You've never seen me naked.

It's this girl, Tina.

She is relentless, man.

She's constantly disagreeing,
taking the opposite position,

saying these really
annoying things in this

gratingly reasonable tone

with this chestnut brown hair

and this all-innocent smile

and these amazingly intense
eyes that just lock onto you like

she's trying to bend a spoon,

and she wears this hypnotic perfume...

Oh, my God,
just have sex with her already.

I'm about to puke.

Sex with her?

I'm gonna kill her!

It's perfectly reasonable to
be attracted to someone you can't stand.

- Rugh?
- Not you, sweetie.

What my little siren is saying, Rus,

is the only way you're gonna
get Tina off your mind, is if you...

... do something about it.

Like what?

Well,

a date is a good place to start.
Why don't you go buy her a malt?

He's really hopeless.

Just like his sister.
I'm Switzerland.

What do you think of this?

That's not mine.
I know, it's mine.

I gathered everyone who
may still have issues about the...

... study hours

situation,

so that each of you
may have a chance to

- air your grievances.
- And the cat is here why?

Let's call this "a kitty passing."

This is your chance
to speak with impunity.

Like the conch in Lord of the Flies.

Whoever holds Pussywillow the Cat

speaks. Everyone else listens.

Say your piece,
then pass her to the next girl.

Laura, we'll start with you.

Thanks.

I think that what you did,
Casey, was awful.

You undermined my office
of Scholarship Chair,

and you infected this house

with a cancer
from which it may never be cured.

Proud to be a Zeta Beta.

Well, I think Laura here
should get a boyfriend

or a hobby. Unless looking
for a boyfriend is her hobby.

- Bite me!
- I've got the conch!

- Everyone, sit down now!
- Because you trashed Casey.

- Because Casey messed up.
- Wait your turn.

- I spoke with impunity.
- I spoke with impunity, too!

- It's OK.
- Shut up!

- Sorry, Casey.
- This is so lame.

Yeah, I guess only actives get to shout.

What's that smell?

Pussywillow!

You had Pussywillow last. Your fault.
My fault?

Yeah!
That should be minus hours.

Girls!

Everyone has had their say.

Well, I didn't.

That wasn't a question.

We're moving on. You can
start by putting these chairs away.

Study hours are still mandatory.
For everyone.

Check the letters on the front of
the house. This is Zeta Beta Zeta,

the best house on campus.

Don't act like anything less
ever again.

Rusty, hi.

What are you doing here?

I brought you a malt.

Look, Rusty, if you're here
to get a preview of Dale's speech...

I'm not.

Then why are you here?

To bring you a malt.

I don't think so.

Why do you think I'm here?

You tell me.

No, because whatever I say,
you'll disagree with it.

Is that a problem?

Should it be?

Are you as turned on right now as I am?

You smell good.

Are you sure?

- Shut up.
- I'm OK...

This is why we must picket.

Lose the Greeks and their tickets!

Greeks deserve to have some fun.

Babes and courtside, number one!

Greeks deserve to have some fun.

Babes and courtside, number one!

This is why we must picket.

Lose the Greeks and their tickets!

Donna Martin graduates!

Donna Martin graduates!

Donna Martin graduates!

So, what do you do when a system,
a society, doesn't work?

Do you just allow it to consume itself,

to take down those around it?

No. You fix it,
but

not by turning the job over
to the very same men and women

who destroy it in the first place.

Thank you, Mr. Kettlewell.
Your remarks were insightful and...

It makes me wonder what God would've
done in a similar situation. Like,

I don't know, Sodom and Gomorrah?

Our next speaker is Mr. Cappie.

Then the Lord rained
down fire and brimstone,

turning their cities to ashes
and condemning them to destruction."

- I'm just paraphrasing Genesis.
- Mr. Cappie, are you ready?

That's right, the big G flew in,
cleaned house and took names.

You know what, if he can smite
a sodomite every now and then,

why can't we do the same?

Why can't we make our world
a better place by getting rid of them?

Sodom and Gomorrah, fraternities
and sorities, Greeks and goblins,

Cheech & Chong, these are the same
hippie lettuce smoking enemies

of righteousness that we should
ship right back to old Scratch himself!

Return to sender!

Yeah!

Hey, I was great.
I was great.

Mr. Cappie?

Two minutes.

Strangely,
I agree with the crazy person here.

We Greeks can often be irresponsible

and reckless.

But I don't regret anything I've done

and neither should anybody here,

because screwing up is
what college is all about.

Learning from your
mistakes and all that.

Yet, if you deny us
our chances to fail now,

it's gonna be a lot harder
for us to play catch-up in the future.

Honestly, what's worse,

hooking up with Dean Bowman's
secretary now

or fooling around with your boss'wife
later on?

Let's take you, for example.

You look like you might have
been interesting a long time ago.

You'd know,
if you hadn't dropped my class.

But even if I stuck around, wouldn't you
agree, no matter how great your class,

it would still be a very, very small
part of the college experience?

- Yes, maybe, but...
- Time!

We will consider your presentation,
Mr. Cappie.

Dean Bowman, I'm not
finished yet. Sorry.

The rules.

Dean Bowman,

as Greek liaison I'd like to be allowed
two minutes to speak?

Fine, Mr. Chambers.

I was gonna talk about housing,
philanthropies, student funds, but,

I'm realizing that had Cappie
been allowed to extend

his rare moment of lucidity,

you would have realized
that he was right.

Professor Hebert, in school

you founded Student
Anarchists Disunited.

If the government was looking
over your shoulder, you'd be the first

to chain yourself to a building.

Because S.A.D.
stood for something!

- Like loyalty.
- Yeah!

Friendship,

brotherhood.

Professor Adams, you went Psi Phi at CRU

and became a campus legend when
you put A&M's cow in the bell tower.

That's an interesting way to start
a career as a world-renowned zoologist.

And let's not forget another
significant figure

in this room, who back in the day...

Well, let's just say he majored in
psychoactive horticulture?

He was evicted from
three dorms in a semester.

If anyone need 24/7 restrictions,
it would be this guy.

What if he wasn't allowed
to make those mistakes,

and there was quite a few.

Would he have spent his entire life
overseeing the well-being young people?

I mean, would you...

... Dean Bowman?

I think we've heard enough.

Meeting adjourned.

... heading to the North,
where we're two hours away from

the A&M Farmhands meeting
up with the CRU Titans.

This game has huge playoff implications.

Everybody, listen up.

The restrictions have been lifted!

Congratulations.

Somebody's riding high.

Not high enough, though.

I may have saved the Greek system,
but unfortunately that includes the Kts.

It's a small price to pay.
I mean, you're a hero.

And a great advisor.

Thanks to your recommendation,
I consulted Frannie,

and she was instrumental
in helping me regain trust,

- authority, and control at the house.
- Great.

You suggested I talk to Casey?

Yes, I did.

Well, thank you.

Here's to everything
working out for the best.

A toast for getting those
restrictions off our backs.

To Evan Chambers!

To Cappie!

No restrictions and
awesome basketball tickets!

Courtside seats, baby.

Spitter,

you had sex!

How do you do that?

Well,

it's a gift and a curse.

It's weird to like and not
like someone at the same time.

Yeah, tell me about it.

It's gonna be long time
I still don't like her.

Thank you.

Hey.

How you doing, Dale?

In the wake of today's
landmark decision?

I've disbanded U-SAG.

I'm sorry and I'm not sorry,
if you know what I mean.

Yeah,

it's all right. I mean, but it wasn't
really working, anyway.

Hey, you hear that?

It's your speech.

Yeah.

Somebody must've put it on the Internet.

... both the enemies of
righteousness It sounds like

They're really responding to it

next door.

Sure, Dale.

So, you must be thrilled.

A big victory for the Greeks, you
don't have to deal with Tina anymore.

Kettlewell.
Hey, Tina.

You missing the cause already or...

What?

Yeah, hold on.

She wants to talk to you.

- Are you guys friends or something now?
- Not exactly.

What a game.

Hey, Beaver, rember when
you dropped your pants at halftime?

That was you.

Hey, what's harder to believe?

That we lost?

Or that Bowman used
to smoke the hippie lettuce?

Although,
I thought his eyes seemed red once.

That's only one more reason
he deserves our respect.

He was a formidable opponent.

Everyone,
can I have your attention, please?

This

to Dean Bowman,

this one is for you.

I got it.

Wait...

- Beaver... Beaver, don't...!
- Something's on fire.