Gravity Falls (2012–2016): Season 2, Episode 6 - Little Gift Shop of Horrors - full transcript
Stan tells a series of three spooky tales to an unlucky customer at the Mystery Shack after hours.
( lightning crashing )
( footsteps approaching )
Well, hello there,
traveler.
I see your car broke down
on this lonesome country road,
a place so remote that no one
can hear your screams!
( footsteps retreating )
Pretend I didn't say that.
Come in, come in,
but be warned,
if you enter you may be
subjected to my tales.
Tales designed
to sell my merchandise!
( evil laughter )
Sorry, I was thinking
of something funny
I heard earlier.
You've come to
the Mystery Shack after-hours,
a time when only
our creepiest
and most cursed objects
are for sale,
like that thing there!
( thunder cracking )
No, not a fan?
Too many orifices?
All right, I can tell
what you're looking for
is this disembodied hand.
Why is it so expensive?
Well, that's quite a tale
and it's called Hands Off!
No, seriously, hands off,
that's not for sale.
All right.
Hands Off!
Swap meet!
Swap meet! Swap meet!
Look at all these
priceless treasures.
Bobbly-heads!
They agree with
everything I say.
Professor glasses!
They make me look
like a genius.
( groans )
Look at these
faux-gold beauties.
They're mob-boss quality.
All right, kids,
prepare to watch
the delicate art of the deal.
Hey, hag-face!
How much
for the junk watches?
They are not for sale.
Not for you,
Stan Pines!
The wind
whispers your name!
( wind blowing )
( chimes tinkling )
Shh...
Shush, you guys.
All right, I get it,
you're creepy.
Anyway, less talky,
more watchy!
Get your hands
off my watch!
Ugh!
Yeesh!
Freak show.
Wow, someone needs to work
on their social skills.
And their observation skills.
Boom!
Good job, heisting hands.
Mwah, mwah.
Grunkle Stan, are you seriously
shoplifting from a witch?
That sounded
like a curse.
"That sounded
like a curse!"
Hey, anyone want
to buy a wet blanket?
We got a wet blanket
for sale!
( laughter )
I can't survive
in this market.
( alarm beeping )
Ha, curse.
Yeah, right.
Ah!
Wait, is this curse ugly
or normal ugly?
Looks like
I got off scot-free.
( screaming )
All right, kiddos,
breakfast time.
Prepare your mouths for--
( Waddles oinking )
Whoa! Whoa-ah!
No hands!
Grunkle Stan,
what happened to your hands?
So I might have
got cursed a little,
but the watch
looks nice, right?
Foolish man, thieving hands
find wicked face!
You must return
what isn't yours...
That's better.
I told you,
Grunkle Stan,
you got to give that
watch back and apologize.
What?
That old crone
should apologize to me
for denying my right
to buy cheap junk.
I don't need hands,
I've got self respect.
Mabel, sweetie, will you
make your uncle some hands?
La-la-la.
Hands makeover!
Say hello
to your "new hands"!
In quotes.
Nice work, kid.
See, hands are overrated.
I'm ready
to take on the day!
Ma'am.
( screams )
( groans )
Hey, Mr. Pines.
Should we play toss me
a dozen eggs like we always do?
No, Jimmy, wait!
Not today!
Not today!
Let's find that witch.
MABEL: According
to the swap meet pamphlet,
the hand witch lives
in a horrible hand witch lair
on Hand Witch Mountain.
STAN: Stop saying hand witch!
Grunkle Stan, did you
just tap my shoulder?
Kid, I can't
tap anything.
Guys, can you stop tapping
both my shoulders?
( hands tapping )
( screaming )
Hands!
Lots of hands!
Ah!
Ah!
( screaming )
( evil laughter )
Look at this touching scene.
Up top!
You guys,
you guys get me.
All right, you horrible wench,
you got me.
Stealing is wrong,
etcetera, take it.
Now can I have
my hands back?
I have a certain gesture
I'd like to share with you.
Alas, your hands cannot
be gotten so easily.
The spirits say, um...
that the curse can
only be broken by a kiss!
ALL: What?
It's all right, kids.
Just look away.
A kiss on the lips!
What? Forget it! I'm not
kissing any of that mess.
I don't need
my hands that bad.
Yeah, you're just
making stuff up now.
Let's go, kids.
No, wait!
Don't go!
You're right,
you're right.
I was just making
all that stuff up.
Just trying to get
something going, you know.
So hard to meet
people these days.
( snaps fingers )
So this was all just
a ploy to get a date?
I'm desperate, okay?
But every time I bring
someone back here
without keeping their hands
hostage, they just run away!
Well, yeah, look
at this horror show.
It's creepy
even for a cave!
You just need
to redecorate.
For example...
A handelabra!
Ooh,
the hand witch likes.
Then watch me work.
Home makeover!
Redecorate.
Redo you.
Change it around.
You got to do it
to make it work.
Okay. Time to take a look
at your fantastic new cave.
( gasps )
MABEL: Men will definitely
tolerate you now.
And I left a book of pickup
lines on the end table.
Blah!
Oh, my goodness!
I can't believe
this is the same cave!
Oh, my goodness!
I just can't
find the words.
How about "Here's
your hands back"?
Oh, right.
( snaps fingers )
( tapping )
Shaky, Scratchy.
I've missed you
old rascals.
You're all right,
sister.
Will you be
my boyfriend now?
No, never.
Well,
I learned nothing.
Back to my crippling
loneliness.
Hey, I'm lost
in these mountains.
Could I crash here
for the night?
Please, come in. Uh...
( clears throat )
"Girl, are those space pants?
Because your butt looks
out of this world."
Wow.
Thanks for noticing.
Yes!
All right, I get it.
You don't want the hand,
you're a savvy customer.
But perhaps you'd be
interested in buying, um...
this magic pig.
Sure he doesn't look magic,
but there
is a very interesting story
I'm about
to make up about him,
and it's called
Abaconings!
"The What-The-Heck-A-Hedron!
Solve this test
of intelligence
and your photo
could be on this box."
Whoa. That's false advertising
I can get behind.
( buzzing )
Come on.
( buzzing )
Ugh!
MABEL: Ooh, that's a bummer.
This is May May and The Hogg
coming at you on the AM.
( oinks )
Whoa!
Not sure we can say
that on the air.
Don't touch
that dial, truckers,
'cause The Hogg
just ate it.
( honking, farts )
Mabel,
could you knock it off?
I'm trying to solve
this intelligence puzzle,
but it seems impossible.
( buzzing )
Maybe you're just
not smart enough.
We'll see about that.
Buried near the falls is
the legendary percepshroom.
To increase brain power,
grind it up
and apply to
the forehead overnight.
Tomorrow, I own you!
( snoring )
( sniffs )
( oinking )
Ha-ha!
I feel smarter already.
The digits
of pi are 3.1...
Um...
415926 etcetera.
What?
Who said that?
Mabel?
Whoa!
Dipper, look.
Greetings, friends.
It is I, Waddles the pig.
What?
Waddles, what happened to you?
Have you been possessed
by the spirit of a nerd?
I understand my transformation
may be vexing,
but I have prepared
a presentation.
Forgive me. My pig arms
are cute and useless.
The brain goop! You ate it
and built all this, didn't you?
This isn't right!
The pig goes oink.
The pig goes oink!
Now the pig goes
wherever he can shine
the light of knowledge into
the darkness of ignorance.
Whoa!
What the heck-a-hedron!
How did you do that?
I can teach you, Dipper.
I can teach you many things.
From the secrets
of astrophysics to the--
Hey, hey!
( oinking )
Man, I am loving
this new Waddles.
Yeah,
he's, uh, he's definitely...
different.
( bleats )
Dude, that rocket cart
is amazing!
You and me
should go invent stuff.
Uh, Waddles,
don't you want to stay up here
and record some
morning pranks with me?
Mabel,
this pig's got a gift.
He needs to share it
with the world.
I'm sorry, Mabel.
There is more to life than
making fart noises
and laughing
at those fart noises.
I see that now.
( chuckling )
Yeah, you guys
just go on without me.
( sighs )
( farts )
Oh, my kite got
stuck in a tree.
I hate everything!
I bet we could be
of service.
Ah! An affront
against nature!
Ha! Forget kites.
Here, take this rocket pack
I invented
and explore
the heavens yourself.
Forget that, Grenda is
gonna look at cute boys
through skylights.
I rule the sky!
Dude, that rocket pack
we made was amazing.
Don't forget the laser gun
we made for Candy.
( lasers firing )
CANDY:
That's to my enemies!
( laughter )
Welcome to May May
and The Hogg AM.
Top story today,
coping with crippling loneliness
after losing my co-host.
♪ Loneliness!
What did that nasty goop
do to you?
You're not happier
like this, are you?
( crash )
Ha-ha. This is
your greatest invention yet.
It could solve
every problem of mankind.
And bring me
many potatoes,
delicious potatoes.
Yummy yummy
for my fat little pig tummy.
What the heck is
going on here?
Mabel,
you are just in time
to behold
our greatest achievement.
The smarticle
accelerator!
Solving that brain puzzle
was just the tip of the iceberg.
With this, Waddles will be
able to solve
all the greatest puzzles
of the universe.
The origin of life.
The meaning of existence.
Why dudes have nipples.
Soon your pig is gonna be
world famous,
meeting with scientists,
presidents.
I wonder if I can teach him
to wear pants.
The whole world?
But when will you have
time for us?
I'm your best friend.
I'm still your friend,
Mabel.
But I'm helping
people now.
But what about
helping me?
Do you really want to spend
your whole life in meetings
with dumb smart guys?
This brain junk has made you
forget who you are.
Don't you remember us?
♪ Remember those times
♪ Don't forget
to remember those times ♪
♪ Just remember
to remember those times ♪
It all makes sense now.
What good is
helping the world
if I can't help my favorite
person in the world?
It's a good thing
I built in a dum-dum switch.
Waddles!
Waddles, don't! Wait!
I'm sorry, Dipper.
In my last eight seconds
of consciousness,
I want you to know
that science is a horizon
to search for,
not a prize
to hold in your hand.
Also I miss getting
my tummy tickled.
( oinking )
Oh, Waddles.
( electrical crackling )
No!
Our invention!
I know what will make you
feel better.
A simple hug
from a simple pig.
Yeah, guess so.
( laughs )
Good pig. Ugh.
You know what? You're right.
Don't buy the pig.
In fact I'm better off
leaving it with my niece.
( arrow twanging )
No shooting in the house,
sweetie.
But perhaps I could interest you
in something else.
Like these
spooky movies!
Movies are great.
You watch the movie,
you scare the girl,
the girl snuggles up
next to you.
Next thing you know,
you got to raise a kid,
your life falls apart.
Forget that last part.
This next tale is called
Clay Day!
GIRL: ( on TV ) You did it,
Shimmery Twinkleheart!
No, you did it,
Cinnamon.
Because you believed
in yourself.
Everything
about this is bad.
Well, that just
put me 90 minutes
closer to death.
It's time you kids
learn to watch
the classics from my day.
Ooh, old people movies.
Get ready for references
we don't understand
and words
we can't repeat.
You're no match
for Loinclothiclese.
I've come
for the golden pants.
( roars )
( screaming )
Oh, no! Mabel!
Well,
your sister is broken.
Oh, Grunkle Stan,
I should have told you before
that Mabel
has a childhood terror
of old-timey stop-motion
animation.
It's like her number one fear
since we were kids.
( chuckles ) Come on,
those hokey old things,
how scared could she be?
The Cyclops! His face
is made of nightmares!
Kid, it's just a movie.
It can't hurt you.
No talking.
They wait for you to talk
and then crawl
inside your mouth!
Why did you have
to show her that tape?
There's got to be a way
to get her over this!
Huh...
All right, if we can just
get the director to show her
the models are fake,
maybe she'll finally calm down.
I don't know, dude.
According to the internet,
special effects genius
Harry Claymore
is some kind of recluse.
Man wants his privacy.
I can respect that.
Well, everyone
over the fence.
You see, Mabel, those monsters
are just tiny clay figures
moved around one frame at
a time by an antisocial shut-in.
Those people
are called animators.
Hello?
( echoes )
Mr. Claymore?
We want to get a look
at your figurines.
We're not paparazzi.
Aha!
See, Mabel, it's all just
special effects.
You can come out.
MABEL: No!
Kid, listen to me.
For the last time,
there is nothing here
to be afraid of--
( roars )
( screaming )
( groans )
It's slowly...
swiping at us!
Let's escape by
standing still!
Oh, it didn't work!
( screaming )
Whoa!
( screams )
( roars )
( screaming )
( groans )
How is this happening?
What do they want?
HARRY: I'm afraid
they want you.
Harry Claymore,
master of special effects,
circa 1970 something.
Alas, my effects
are more special than you know.
What? But how are
these things real?
What about stop motion?
What?
Do you really
believe someone
moves these figures
one frame at a time?
I'm not a masochist.
I used black magic to make them
animate themselves.
It was great at first,
but one day...
No!
Where's the heart?!
HARRY: Now that they were
out of work,
they went mad
and enslaved me!
And now they will turn you
into unholy beasts of clay
to join in their mischief!
Well, Mr. Pines,
at least you'll finally
get to work with
your favorite director.
And by work, I mean, suffocate
inside a big wad of clay.
DIPPER: Help!
Somebody help us!
Help!
Oh, what do I do?
How can I defeat
those monstrosities?
Hey, I changed it into
something I like.
Whoa.
I think I have an idea!
Hey, one-eyed-clops!
Yeah, I'm talking to you,
dum-dum!
Come at me!
( yells )
Ah!
Wipe that face off
your face.
Oh, I've got big plans for you!
Hey, skeleton dorks!
It's "clayback" time!
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
Dude, you conquered
your fear.
That's right. Because
she believed in herself.
Can it, Twinkleheart!
Just start pounding
those skeletons!
Mabel, you did it.
So you're not scared
anymore?
Oh, I'm scared
twice as much now,
but now I know
it's rational.
Kid, I'm sorry I doubted you.
You were right.
Stop motion is
pure evil.
And probably
really expensive.
Incredibly expensive.
This is an impressive
fight though.
I'm glad
I'm facing towards it.
ALL: Yay!
That was the best part.
Well, I think today we learned
that you can remold your fears.
I'm just glad none of us
got turned into clay.
Who wants to see me
change into most anything?
( humming )
I can walk
through walls.
Whoa!
We're safe now, kids.
We're safe.
I don't get it.
You don't want the pig,
you don't want my tapes,
what are you gonna buy?
How about this
delicious potion?
Here, have
a free sample.
( glugging )
( thud )
STAN: You should
have bought my merch
when you had the chance,
buddy.
But that's okay.
I'll have something new
for sale very soon.
( chuckling )
And here we have
our latest attraction.
The legendary
Cheapskate!
I saw it blinking.
Just an optical illusion.
Come along, everyone.
Step right up! ( laughs )
That's right,
I'm a jerk.
Hey, want to play
tic-tac-toe?
Hey, I wanted to be Xs,
let me be Xs.
Trust me,
just let her be Xs.
( sighs )
Yay!
Actually I'm sorry.
I changed my mind, I'll be Os.
Okay, you're gonna
hate me right now,
but is Xs still
a possibility?
I don't think
you're playing this right.
( footsteps approaching )
Well, hello there,
traveler.
I see your car broke down
on this lonesome country road,
a place so remote that no one
can hear your screams!
( footsteps retreating )
Pretend I didn't say that.
Come in, come in,
but be warned,
if you enter you may be
subjected to my tales.
Tales designed
to sell my merchandise!
( evil laughter )
Sorry, I was thinking
of something funny
I heard earlier.
You've come to
the Mystery Shack after-hours,
a time when only
our creepiest
and most cursed objects
are for sale,
like that thing there!
( thunder cracking )
No, not a fan?
Too many orifices?
All right, I can tell
what you're looking for
is this disembodied hand.
Why is it so expensive?
Well, that's quite a tale
and it's called Hands Off!
No, seriously, hands off,
that's not for sale.
All right.
Hands Off!
Swap meet!
Swap meet! Swap meet!
Look at all these
priceless treasures.
Bobbly-heads!
They agree with
everything I say.
Professor glasses!
They make me look
like a genius.
( groans )
Look at these
faux-gold beauties.
They're mob-boss quality.
All right, kids,
prepare to watch
the delicate art of the deal.
Hey, hag-face!
How much
for the junk watches?
They are not for sale.
Not for you,
Stan Pines!
The wind
whispers your name!
( wind blowing )
( chimes tinkling )
Shh...
Shush, you guys.
All right, I get it,
you're creepy.
Anyway, less talky,
more watchy!
Get your hands
off my watch!
Ugh!
Yeesh!
Freak show.
Wow, someone needs to work
on their social skills.
And their observation skills.
Boom!
Good job, heisting hands.
Mwah, mwah.
Grunkle Stan, are you seriously
shoplifting from a witch?
That sounded
like a curse.
"That sounded
like a curse!"
Hey, anyone want
to buy a wet blanket?
We got a wet blanket
for sale!
( laughter )
I can't survive
in this market.
( alarm beeping )
Ha, curse.
Yeah, right.
Ah!
Wait, is this curse ugly
or normal ugly?
Looks like
I got off scot-free.
( screaming )
All right, kiddos,
breakfast time.
Prepare your mouths for--
( Waddles oinking )
Whoa! Whoa-ah!
No hands!
Grunkle Stan,
what happened to your hands?
So I might have
got cursed a little,
but the watch
looks nice, right?
Foolish man, thieving hands
find wicked face!
You must return
what isn't yours...
That's better.
I told you,
Grunkle Stan,
you got to give that
watch back and apologize.
What?
That old crone
should apologize to me
for denying my right
to buy cheap junk.
I don't need hands,
I've got self respect.
Mabel, sweetie, will you
make your uncle some hands?
La-la-la.
Hands makeover!
Say hello
to your "new hands"!
In quotes.
Nice work, kid.
See, hands are overrated.
I'm ready
to take on the day!
Ma'am.
( screams )
( groans )
Hey, Mr. Pines.
Should we play toss me
a dozen eggs like we always do?
No, Jimmy, wait!
Not today!
Not today!
Let's find that witch.
MABEL: According
to the swap meet pamphlet,
the hand witch lives
in a horrible hand witch lair
on Hand Witch Mountain.
STAN: Stop saying hand witch!
Grunkle Stan, did you
just tap my shoulder?
Kid, I can't
tap anything.
Guys, can you stop tapping
both my shoulders?
( hands tapping )
( screaming )
Hands!
Lots of hands!
Ah!
Ah!
( screaming )
( evil laughter )
Look at this touching scene.
Up top!
You guys,
you guys get me.
All right, you horrible wench,
you got me.
Stealing is wrong,
etcetera, take it.
Now can I have
my hands back?
I have a certain gesture
I'd like to share with you.
Alas, your hands cannot
be gotten so easily.
The spirits say, um...
that the curse can
only be broken by a kiss!
ALL: What?
It's all right, kids.
Just look away.
A kiss on the lips!
What? Forget it! I'm not
kissing any of that mess.
I don't need
my hands that bad.
Yeah, you're just
making stuff up now.
Let's go, kids.
No, wait!
Don't go!
You're right,
you're right.
I was just making
all that stuff up.
Just trying to get
something going, you know.
So hard to meet
people these days.
( snaps fingers )
So this was all just
a ploy to get a date?
I'm desperate, okay?
But every time I bring
someone back here
without keeping their hands
hostage, they just run away!
Well, yeah, look
at this horror show.
It's creepy
even for a cave!
You just need
to redecorate.
For example...
A handelabra!
Ooh,
the hand witch likes.
Then watch me work.
Home makeover!
Redecorate.
Redo you.
Change it around.
You got to do it
to make it work.
Okay. Time to take a look
at your fantastic new cave.
( gasps )
MABEL: Men will definitely
tolerate you now.
And I left a book of pickup
lines on the end table.
Blah!
Oh, my goodness!
I can't believe
this is the same cave!
Oh, my goodness!
I just can't
find the words.
How about "Here's
your hands back"?
Oh, right.
( snaps fingers )
( tapping )
Shaky, Scratchy.
I've missed you
old rascals.
You're all right,
sister.
Will you be
my boyfriend now?
No, never.
Well,
I learned nothing.
Back to my crippling
loneliness.
Hey, I'm lost
in these mountains.
Could I crash here
for the night?
Please, come in. Uh...
( clears throat )
"Girl, are those space pants?
Because your butt looks
out of this world."
Wow.
Thanks for noticing.
Yes!
All right, I get it.
You don't want the hand,
you're a savvy customer.
But perhaps you'd be
interested in buying, um...
this magic pig.
Sure he doesn't look magic,
but there
is a very interesting story
I'm about
to make up about him,
and it's called
Abaconings!
"The What-The-Heck-A-Hedron!
Solve this test
of intelligence
and your photo
could be on this box."
Whoa. That's false advertising
I can get behind.
( buzzing )
Come on.
( buzzing )
Ugh!
MABEL: Ooh, that's a bummer.
This is May May and The Hogg
coming at you on the AM.
( oinks )
Whoa!
Not sure we can say
that on the air.
Don't touch
that dial, truckers,
'cause The Hogg
just ate it.
( honking, farts )
Mabel,
could you knock it off?
I'm trying to solve
this intelligence puzzle,
but it seems impossible.
( buzzing )
Maybe you're just
not smart enough.
We'll see about that.
Buried near the falls is
the legendary percepshroom.
To increase brain power,
grind it up
and apply to
the forehead overnight.
Tomorrow, I own you!
( snoring )
( sniffs )
( oinking )
Ha-ha!
I feel smarter already.
The digits
of pi are 3.1...
Um...
415926 etcetera.
What?
Who said that?
Mabel?
Whoa!
Dipper, look.
Greetings, friends.
It is I, Waddles the pig.
What?
Waddles, what happened to you?
Have you been possessed
by the spirit of a nerd?
I understand my transformation
may be vexing,
but I have prepared
a presentation.
Forgive me. My pig arms
are cute and useless.
The brain goop! You ate it
and built all this, didn't you?
This isn't right!
The pig goes oink.
The pig goes oink!
Now the pig goes
wherever he can shine
the light of knowledge into
the darkness of ignorance.
Whoa!
What the heck-a-hedron!
How did you do that?
I can teach you, Dipper.
I can teach you many things.
From the secrets
of astrophysics to the--
Hey, hey!
( oinking )
Man, I am loving
this new Waddles.
Yeah,
he's, uh, he's definitely...
different.
( bleats )
Dude, that rocket cart
is amazing!
You and me
should go invent stuff.
Uh, Waddles,
don't you want to stay up here
and record some
morning pranks with me?
Mabel,
this pig's got a gift.
He needs to share it
with the world.
I'm sorry, Mabel.
There is more to life than
making fart noises
and laughing
at those fart noises.
I see that now.
( chuckling )
Yeah, you guys
just go on without me.
( sighs )
( farts )
Oh, my kite got
stuck in a tree.
I hate everything!
I bet we could be
of service.
Ah! An affront
against nature!
Ha! Forget kites.
Here, take this rocket pack
I invented
and explore
the heavens yourself.
Forget that, Grenda is
gonna look at cute boys
through skylights.
I rule the sky!
Dude, that rocket pack
we made was amazing.
Don't forget the laser gun
we made for Candy.
( lasers firing )
CANDY:
That's to my enemies!
( laughter )
Welcome to May May
and The Hogg AM.
Top story today,
coping with crippling loneliness
after losing my co-host.
♪ Loneliness!
What did that nasty goop
do to you?
You're not happier
like this, are you?
( crash )
Ha-ha. This is
your greatest invention yet.
It could solve
every problem of mankind.
And bring me
many potatoes,
delicious potatoes.
Yummy yummy
for my fat little pig tummy.
What the heck is
going on here?
Mabel,
you are just in time
to behold
our greatest achievement.
The smarticle
accelerator!
Solving that brain puzzle
was just the tip of the iceberg.
With this, Waddles will be
able to solve
all the greatest puzzles
of the universe.
The origin of life.
The meaning of existence.
Why dudes have nipples.
Soon your pig is gonna be
world famous,
meeting with scientists,
presidents.
I wonder if I can teach him
to wear pants.
The whole world?
But when will you have
time for us?
I'm your best friend.
I'm still your friend,
Mabel.
But I'm helping
people now.
But what about
helping me?
Do you really want to spend
your whole life in meetings
with dumb smart guys?
This brain junk has made you
forget who you are.
Don't you remember us?
♪ Remember those times
♪ Don't forget
to remember those times ♪
♪ Just remember
to remember those times ♪
It all makes sense now.
What good is
helping the world
if I can't help my favorite
person in the world?
It's a good thing
I built in a dum-dum switch.
Waddles!
Waddles, don't! Wait!
I'm sorry, Dipper.
In my last eight seconds
of consciousness,
I want you to know
that science is a horizon
to search for,
not a prize
to hold in your hand.
Also I miss getting
my tummy tickled.
( oinking )
Oh, Waddles.
( electrical crackling )
No!
Our invention!
I know what will make you
feel better.
A simple hug
from a simple pig.
Yeah, guess so.
( laughs )
Good pig. Ugh.
You know what? You're right.
Don't buy the pig.
In fact I'm better off
leaving it with my niece.
( arrow twanging )
No shooting in the house,
sweetie.
But perhaps I could interest you
in something else.
Like these
spooky movies!
Movies are great.
You watch the movie,
you scare the girl,
the girl snuggles up
next to you.
Next thing you know,
you got to raise a kid,
your life falls apart.
Forget that last part.
This next tale is called
Clay Day!
GIRL: ( on TV ) You did it,
Shimmery Twinkleheart!
No, you did it,
Cinnamon.
Because you believed
in yourself.
Everything
about this is bad.
Well, that just
put me 90 minutes
closer to death.
It's time you kids
learn to watch
the classics from my day.
Ooh, old people movies.
Get ready for references
we don't understand
and words
we can't repeat.
You're no match
for Loinclothiclese.
I've come
for the golden pants.
( roars )
( screaming )
Oh, no! Mabel!
Well,
your sister is broken.
Oh, Grunkle Stan,
I should have told you before
that Mabel
has a childhood terror
of old-timey stop-motion
animation.
It's like her number one fear
since we were kids.
( chuckles ) Come on,
those hokey old things,
how scared could she be?
The Cyclops! His face
is made of nightmares!
Kid, it's just a movie.
It can't hurt you.
No talking.
They wait for you to talk
and then crawl
inside your mouth!
Why did you have
to show her that tape?
There's got to be a way
to get her over this!
Huh...
All right, if we can just
get the director to show her
the models are fake,
maybe she'll finally calm down.
I don't know, dude.
According to the internet,
special effects genius
Harry Claymore
is some kind of recluse.
Man wants his privacy.
I can respect that.
Well, everyone
over the fence.
You see, Mabel, those monsters
are just tiny clay figures
moved around one frame at
a time by an antisocial shut-in.
Those people
are called animators.
Hello?
( echoes )
Mr. Claymore?
We want to get a look
at your figurines.
We're not paparazzi.
Aha!
See, Mabel, it's all just
special effects.
You can come out.
MABEL: No!
Kid, listen to me.
For the last time,
there is nothing here
to be afraid of--
( roars )
( screaming )
( groans )
It's slowly...
swiping at us!
Let's escape by
standing still!
Oh, it didn't work!
( screaming )
Whoa!
( screams )
( roars )
( screaming )
( groans )
How is this happening?
What do they want?
HARRY: I'm afraid
they want you.
Harry Claymore,
master of special effects,
circa 1970 something.
Alas, my effects
are more special than you know.
What? But how are
these things real?
What about stop motion?
What?
Do you really
believe someone
moves these figures
one frame at a time?
I'm not a masochist.
I used black magic to make them
animate themselves.
It was great at first,
but one day...
No!
Where's the heart?!
HARRY: Now that they were
out of work,
they went mad
and enslaved me!
And now they will turn you
into unholy beasts of clay
to join in their mischief!
Well, Mr. Pines,
at least you'll finally
get to work with
your favorite director.
And by work, I mean, suffocate
inside a big wad of clay.
DIPPER: Help!
Somebody help us!
Help!
Oh, what do I do?
How can I defeat
those monstrosities?
Hey, I changed it into
something I like.
Whoa.
I think I have an idea!
Hey, one-eyed-clops!
Yeah, I'm talking to you,
dum-dum!
Come at me!
( yells )
Ah!
Wipe that face off
your face.
Oh, I've got big plans for you!
Hey, skeleton dorks!
It's "clayback" time!
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
Dude, you conquered
your fear.
That's right. Because
she believed in herself.
Can it, Twinkleheart!
Just start pounding
those skeletons!
Mabel, you did it.
So you're not scared
anymore?
Oh, I'm scared
twice as much now,
but now I know
it's rational.
Kid, I'm sorry I doubted you.
You were right.
Stop motion is
pure evil.
And probably
really expensive.
Incredibly expensive.
This is an impressive
fight though.
I'm glad
I'm facing towards it.
ALL: Yay!
That was the best part.
Well, I think today we learned
that you can remold your fears.
I'm just glad none of us
got turned into clay.
Who wants to see me
change into most anything?
( humming )
I can walk
through walls.
Whoa!
We're safe now, kids.
We're safe.
I don't get it.
You don't want the pig,
you don't want my tapes,
what are you gonna buy?
How about this
delicious potion?
Here, have
a free sample.
( glugging )
( thud )
STAN: You should
have bought my merch
when you had the chance,
buddy.
But that's okay.
I'll have something new
for sale very soon.
( chuckling )
And here we have
our latest attraction.
The legendary
Cheapskate!
I saw it blinking.
Just an optical illusion.
Come along, everyone.
Step right up! ( laughs )
That's right,
I'm a jerk.
Hey, want to play
tic-tac-toe?
Hey, I wanted to be Xs,
let me be Xs.
Trust me,
just let her be Xs.
( sighs )
Yay!
Actually I'm sorry.
I changed my mind, I'll be Os.
Okay, you're gonna
hate me right now,
but is Xs still
a possibility?
I don't think
you're playing this right.