Gravity Falls (2012–2016): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Inconveniencing - full transcript

Mabel, do you
believe in ghosts?

I believe you're
a big dork! Ha ha ha ha!

Aaahhh!

Soos! Wendy!

What's up, Mr. Pines?

I'm headin' out.
You two are gonna wash
the bathrooms, right?

- Yes, sir.
- Absolutely not.

Ha ha!
You stay outta trouble.

Hey, guys, what's this?

A secret ladder to the roof?

Uh, I don't think
Mr. Pines would like that.



- Uh? - Uh?
- Uh?

You're freakin' me out, dude!

Can we actually go up there?

Sure we can.
Roof time! Roof time!

Roof time! Roof time!

Uhh...

All right, check it out.

- Whoa!
- Whoa, cool!

Did you put all this
stuff up here?

I may or may not
sneak up here during work,

all the time, every day.

- Yes! - All right.
- Me first!

Jackpot! High five!

Don't leave me hangin'.



Ha!

Hey, it's my friends.

Wendy!

Uh, you guys aren't gonna tell
Stan about this, are you?

Later, dorks.

Let's get outta here!

Whoo!

Later, Wendy!

- Ah, good times.
- Uh-oh!

- What?
- Somebody's in love!

Yeah, right.

I just think
Wendy's cool, okay?

It's not like
I lay awake at night
thinking about her.

Uh-oh.

Put on some dance party
for no reason!

Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Dipper!
- What? Yes? Yeah?

Aren't you gonna
get in on this?

I, uh, don't really dance.

Yeah, you do.

Mom used to dress him up
in a lamb costume

and make him do...

The lamby dance.

Now is not
the time to talk
about the lamby dance.

Lamb costume? Whoa!

Is there, like, little ears
and a tail, or...?

Well, uh... uh...

Dipper would prance around
and sing a song about grazing.

Ha ha!

Hey, look at that.

Quittin' time.
The gang's waitin' for me.

Hey, wait, uh, maybe I could...

or we could come with you.

Ooh, I don't know.

My friends are pretty intense.

How old did
you guys say you are?

We're 13, so,
technically a teen.

All right.
I like your moxie, kid.

Let me get my stuff.

Since when are we 13?
Is this a leap year?

Come on, Mabel.
This is our chance
to hang out with,

you know, the cool kids...
and Wendy and whatever.

I knew it!
You love her!

Love, love, love, love, love!

Oh, hey, what's that?

Huh?

Bluh bluh bluh bluh.

Hurry up.

- In the belly!
- In the belly!

In the belly!
In the belly!

Oh! Ha ha ha!
Yeah!

Wendy!

Wendy! Wendy!

Hey, guys, these are
my pals from work,
Mabel and Dipper.

I chewed my gum
so it looks like a brain.

She's not much
for first impressions,

unlike this guy!

This guy...!

So are you, like,
babysitting or...?

Come on, Robbie.

Guys, this is Lee and Nate...

Unh! Ha ha ha!

- Tambri...
- Ehh.

Thompson, who once ate a run-
over waffle for 50 cents...

Don't tell them that.

And Robbie.
You can probably
figure him out.

Yeah, I'm the guy
who spray-painted
the water tower.

Oh, you mean the big muffin.

Um, it's a giant explosion.

Heh heh! Kind of does
look like a muffin.

Let's hurry it up, guys.
I got big plans for
tonight, huh?

- Let's get outta here!
- Get in the car!

Ow-wow!

Sorry, kid, I'll ride
shotgun, all right?

Okay, just, before we go,

my mom said you guys
aren't allowed to punch
the roof anymore, so...

Thompson! Thompson!
Thompson!

Thompson!
Thompson! Thompson!

Ha ha! This is gonna
blow someone's mind.

Mabel, please.

What? Am I embarrassing
you in front of your new...

Girlfriend!

Uhh! Did you just
lick my hand?

You're watching
the black-and-white

period piece old lady
boring movie channel.

Kids! I can't find
the remote, and I
refuse to stand up!

Stay tuned for
the Friday night movie,
the duchess approves,

starring sturly
stembleburgiss
as the duchess

and grampton
st. Rumpterfrabble
as the risible coxswain

sounterbluggot
hampterfuppinshire.

Kids!

No! Noooo!

There it is, fellas...

the condemned dusk-to-dawn.

- Whoa! - Whoa!
- Whoa!

- Neato!
- Neat! Awesome!

Wh-why did they
shut it down?

It's, like, a health
code violation, or...?

- Try murder!
- Some folks died in there.

The place has been
haunted ever since.

This town has such
a colorful history!

What? Are...
are you guys serious?

Yeah. We're all
gonna die!

Chill out, man.
It's not as bad
as it looks.

Come on, Dipper.

Okay.

Just... just
gotta get a foothold.

Dude, your sister did it.

Whup whup whup whup whup whup.

Hey, you know what?
Just... there you go.

Sorry, dude.

Good job
throwing the kid
off the fence, genius.

Your mom's a genius.

Ho ho ho!
This place is amazing.

I think it's...
it's stuck.

- Let me take a crack at it.
- Oh, yeah.

I can't get in,
but I'm sure junior here

is gonna break it down
like Hercules.

Come on, leave him alone.
He's just a little kid.

Whoa, kid!
What are you doing?

Go, Dipper!
Punch that metal thing!

Hey, Dipper, take it easy.

Who wants to bet
he doesn't make it?

Good call,
inviting this
little maniac!

Your new name
is Dr. Fun Times.

All right.

Cool.
Yeah, man.

Nice work.

Do you guys really
think it's haunted?

Nah! Thompson,
are you kidding me?

Come on, shut up,
man! Ha ha ha!

Whoa! No way!

Oh, man.

It's even creepier
than I imagined.

Yep, it's dust.

Hey, dude, where
do you think they
keep the dead bodies?

Shut up, man!

Guys, check it out!
You think they still work?

Nice!

Jackpot!

So, what are we gonna do now?

Anything we want.

Take that.

Ha ha ha! Ohh!

Put 'em in, put 'em in!
Three at a time,
three at a time!

Oh, my gosh!
Smile dip!

I thought this stuff
was banned in America.

Maybe they had a good reason.

- Oomph!
- Ha ha ha!

Hey, come here,
man, we got it ready!

Whatever it is, I'll do it!

Ha ha ha! Thompson!

Dipper, this night
is, like, legendary.

- Really?
- Just look around. The guys are bonding.

I've never even seen
tambri look up from
her phone this long,

and your sister
seems to be going nuts
for that smile dip.

Uhh.

Maybe I've had too much.

What do you think?

Would you like
to eat my candy paws?

Of course, you little angel.

You know, Dipper, I wasn't sure

if you could hang
with our crew at first,

but you're surprisingly
mature for your age.

Yes. Yes, I am.

Hey, guys, we need more ice.

I'm on it.

What was that?

I thought I heard some
lady screaming back here.

You freakin' out, kid?

No. No, I'm cool.
Everything's cool.

Then what's all this about?

Oh, that's...
Uh... uh... uh...

Hey, look!

Dancy Pants Revolution,

the game that tricks
people into exercising.

All right, I'm down.

Yeah, let's all...
let's all go play that.

Hm.

Dance! Hurry up!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Wow! He's really
terrible at this.

Yeah, yeah, that's...
that's great.

I'll be right back.

Come on,
Grunkle Stan,
pick up!

Uhh! What is he doing?

I don't care about
Dukes or commoners...

Or his royal highness,
Lionel of Cornwall.

I'm not afraid anymore, mother.

Duchess, I forbid you.

I may be a duchess,
but I'm also a woman!

Yes! Yes!

In your face, Elizabeth!

It's just like my life!

In a way.

Mabel, I need your advice.

We're hanging out
in a haunted
convenience store,

I can't get ahold
of Grunkle Stan,

and if I try to say
anything about it

to any of these guys,
they'll just think

I'm a scared little kid
or something.

Mabel?

The future is in the past!

Onward, deoshebah!

Mabel! How many
of these did you eat?

Eleventeen.

Oh, man.
Oh man, oh man, oh man!

Whoa, guys,
you might wanna see this.

What the heck?

Whoa. Then the rumors
are true.

Dude, dare you
to lie down in it.

Good idea.
Go lie down in it.

I'm a dead body! Look!

Wait!

Maybe let's not do that.

This guy's scared!

All I'm saying is,
why tempt the fates?

I mean, what if
this place really is...

Haunted?

Just take it down
a notch, captain buzzkill.

But I thought
I was Dr. Fun Times.

Well, you're acting like
Captain Buzzkill, right?

Yeah. Little bit.

Status update:

Trapped in store
with insane 9-year-old.

I'm not a 9-year-old.
I'm 13,

technically a teen!

Whoa? What is that?

Whoa!

What?

"Status update...

Aaaahhhhhhh."

Aaahhh!

- Aaahhh!
- Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Tambri! Tambri!

Can you hear us?

- What are we supposed to do?
- I don't know, man! I don't know!

Let's just go already!

- Thompson!
- Wait!

I've almost got the high score!

Aah! Aaahhh!

Huh? What?

Time to shake what
your momma gave you!

Oh, no! Help!
So many arrows!

You're a dance machine!

No, you're a dance machine!

- Oh, no!
- Thompson!

Forget him!
Let's go!

What the...?
Guys, it's locked!

Outta my way!

Aah!

Aaahhh!

Everybody, wait.

Whatever is doing this
has to have some kind
of reason.

Maybe if we could just
figure out what it is,

then they'll
let us out of here.

"They'll let
us out of here."

Yeah, that makes
a lot of sense.

I don't know, guys.
Maybe he's got a point.

Yeah, right.

I'm sure the ghost
just wants to talk
about his feelings!

Aah! Aah!
Aaahhh!

Wh-what?

I'm bonkers for
eating you alive!

No!

Aaahhh!

Lee!

Okay, okay.

I'm with you, kid.
One hundred percent, man.

Welcome!

They got Mabel!

Welcome to your graves,
young trespassers!

Ha ha ha!

We're super sorry
for hanging out
in your store.

Yeah, can we just
go now and leave forever?

Well... okay.
You're free to go.

But before you leave,
hot dogs are now half off.

I know it might
be crazy, but you
gotta try these dogs!

Just kidding
about the hot dog sale!

Just let us outta here already!

I don't like your tone!

No, no! Aah!

What? No!
I'm a hot dog!

It begins!

Whoa!

Unh!

Ohh!

Aah!

Welcome to your home
for all eternity!

- Dipper, what do we do?
- Duck!

Quick, in there!

What do they want from us?

- Revenge, I guess...?
- What did we do wrong?

Okay, let's
try to figure out
the pattern here.

Why was each person taken?

Tambri was texting,
Thompson was playing
a video game,

Lee was being sarcastic...
it doesn't make any sense!

Yeah. I mean,
those are all just
normal teenage things.

Wendy, say that
last part again.

"Normal teenage things"?

Of course! Stay here
until I get back.

Dude, what are you doing?

Hey, ghost!

I've got something to tell you.

I'm not a teenager!

Ho ho ho!

Well, why didn't you say so?

Waaahh!

Ugh.

How old did you say you were?

I'm...

I'm 12, technically not a teen.

When we were alive,
teenagers were a scourge
on our store.

Always sassafrassin' customers

with their boomie-boxes

and disrespectful short pants,

so we decided
to up and ban them,

but they retaliated
with this newfangled
rap music!

The lyrics,
they were so... hateful!

♪ Homework's wack,
and so are rules ♪

♪ tuckin' in
your shirt's for fools ♪

Nooo!

It was so shocking,
we were stricken down

with double heart attacks.

That's why we hate
teenagers so much,

don't we, honey?

But they're my friends.

Isn't there anything
I can do to help them?

There is one thing.

Do you know any
funny little dances?

Uh... is there
anything else I can do?

Nooooo!

Okay, okay, okay!
Um, well...

I do know...
The lamby-lamby dance,

but, uh, but I can't
really do it without
a lamb costume.

Oh. Well. There it is.

Whew.

♪ Well ♪

♪ Who wants
a lamby lamby lamby? ♪

♪ I do! I do! ♪

♪ So go up and greet
your mammy mammy mammy ♪

♪ Hi there, hi there ♪

♪ So march, march,
march around the daisies ♪

Yes! Yes! More! More!

♪ Don't, don't, don't
you forget about the baby ♪

That was some fine
girlie-dancin', boy!

Your friends are free.

Well, I don't think
you have to worry about
us comin' back, so...

Ohh!

I'm never gonna eat
or do anything ever again.

- Hey, there's still some left.
- Evil!

What... what happened after
everything went crazy?

You are not
going to believe it.

The ghosts appeared,
and Dipper had to...

Uh... ahem...

And, um, Dipper
just grabbed a bat

and started
beating ghosts down,
left and right.

And then the ghosts
got all scared

and ran away like
a couple of little girls.

- It was insane!
- No way!

Dr. fun Times!

Well, I'm probably
scarred for life.

Yeah, that was pretty crazy.

Think I'm gonna go
stare at a wall for a while
and rethink everything.

Hey, next time we hang out,

let's stay at
the mystery shack, okay?

Ha ha! Next time?

Yeah, let's...
let's hang out
at the shack.

Ha ha! Yeah.

Next time.

Ohh!

What kind of sick joke is this?

Ah, the wedding.

I've waited so long for this.

Oh, look at her in that dress.

Count Lionel!
What's he doin' here?!

I've come to reclaim my bride!

You had your chance
at the cotillion, you!

You had your chance
at the cotillion, you!

That's what I'm sayin'!

Uh...

Couldn't find the remote.