Gravity Falls (2012–2016): Season 1, Episode 10 - Fight Fighters - full transcript

This is it, dudes:
my favourite place in Gravity Falls

Everything I know I learned right here

A frog told me how to cross a street

When my house was haunted,

I learned how to eat ghosts

And this thing taught me how to dance

I've been jigging for 7 days straight!

Soos?..

Let him have this

Congratulations!

You win!



Oh! Watch out!

Ooh, cutscene

Dr. Karate, you killed my father

Dr. Karate, you killed my father again!

You take that baaack!

Fight!

Yeah yeah yeah! Go go!

Our winner Rumble McSkirmish

Winners don't lose!

What? You cheated

You'll take that baaack!

Round 2

I'm gonna punch them rough

Fight!



Let's gang up on them

Wendy! What's up babe?

Just putting up some flyers for my band

I'm leading guitar. No biggie

Are you wearing mascara?

Um, it's eye-paint for men

Robbie, Dipper was just showing me this great game

Ah, yeah, sweet, sweet

How's about you sit this one out, kid champ?

But... We just started this round

Hey, relax, man

I'm just trying to spend a little time
with my girlfriend, all right?

It'll just be one round

Round 3. Fight!

I'm going camping tomorrow with my dad,
so I won't be around

Ah, cool, cool. Watch out!

King me!

It's not fair!

She doesn't even know what we're playing!

Go fish?

Dude. I think I'm picking up
a radio station inside my head

Try blinking to see if you can change the channel

We-endy-y!..

Sounds like Robbie

Robbie?

Is he that jerky twerp I see making
goo-goo eyes at Wendy all the time?

He called me big dude once. I mean,

I am a big dude, but it kinda hurt

Should I sick Waddles on him again?

Easy, tiger!

I'll handle it

O-o-oh!

Ha-ha, conflict

Wendy, Wendy-Wendy, Wendy!

Come on out, girl! Come on down!

You realize she's not here, right?

Pssh. Yes.

What?

She's out camping with her family today

Maybe if you listened to her for once, you'd know that

What was that?

I just said she's not here

No-no-no. You wanna get into it, huh?

Who wants get into it, kid?

You think I don't know what's been going on, huh?

It's obvious, you've gotta thing for my girlfriend,

Don't you? Don't you?

What? No! Come on, man!

Yeah. I'm sure she's just dying to ask out 12 year old kid

who wears the exact same shorts every day

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't I call her right now and see
if she wants to go out on a date with you

Hey! Look! Don't... You don't have to!

Don't, please, man!..

What are you gonna do, huh?

What? What? (Hello?)

My phone!

I'll buy you a new one

Oh no. You're not getting off that easy!

Hey, I know a fight when I see one

Stay right there!

You, me, Circle Park, 3 o'clock

We finish this!

Oh, he's gone

I was just gonna call the boys over to place a few bets

The smart money's on skinny jeans

What was I thinking? I can't fight!

I've never been in a fight before

Look at these noodle arms!

Just bonk him over the head

It's nature's snooze button

Boys!

Why can't you learn to hate each other in secret?

Like girls do

Sure, listen to your sister

Maybe you can share dresses too

Ha-ha-ha Boom!

Maybe he'll just forget about it?

Maybe it'll all blow over

I don't know Dipper. Teenagers are dangerous

Those hormones turn them into killing machines

Really?

Oh yeah dude. My cousin Reggie got in a fight with teen once

The guy broke like...

All his arms... All his legs...

I think he killed him or something, I don't know

Me and Reggie were just talking about it

I can't stay here. What if Robbie comes back?

I gotta hide!

Look kid. You've got yourself a choice here

You could either go face him like a man

or you can hide indoors, like a wimp

What will it be?

Wimp it is

Come on, Soos. Robbie is twice my size!

I mean, what would getting myself killed accomplish?

I just need to hide here until 3 o'clock passes

This day will never end

Relax, Dipper. Just try not to think about Robbie

Girl, why you ackin' so cray-cray?

"Why you ackin' so cray-cray" will be back in a moment

Poor Dipper

Hiding from Robbie, unable to face his fears

Fears are for chumps. That's why I don't have any

You want me to go get a ladder?

— We don't have one
— What?

You know, study shows that keeping a ladder inside the house

is more dangerous than a loaded gun

That's why I own ten guns:

in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder

Grunkle Stan! Why you ackin' so cray-cray?

You're the one who's ackin' cray-cray!

I gotta go now

Why would Grunkle Stan be so weirded out by ladders?

Of course!

I think he has a secret fear of heights!

We'll have to test him to be sure

Or we could leave well enough alone

Na-a-ah!

I wonder what it's gonna be like
to go inside a video game for real

I should have thought of this years ago!

Stupid Robbie, such a jerk

Round 4. Fight!

K.O.

Continue?

A winner never runs away from a fight!

That's easy for you to say

You have more than one life!

I wish one of these guys could fight Robbie for me

"To unleash ultimate power?"

I do like things that are ultimate

Back, back, hold, forward, back, forward,
down, hold, quarter, circle forward, triple punch!

I guess it didn't work

Uh... Soos?

Select your character!

Uh... Rumble McSkirmish?

You're real?

High five!

Ow! Your pixels are really sharp!

Greetings child boy!

I'm Rumble McSkirmish from a USA!

Punch Kick Punch Kick!

Ow! Cool!

Change machine! Change me into a powerful wolf!

With Rumble around Robbie will be so scared
I won't even need to fight him

I've got the world's greatest fighter to be my bodyguard!

I need power-ups!

This is so amazing! I've got to show Soos!

Soos?

Help! I'm trapped in a game!

It was cool in theory but in practice it was really boring

It's not just a game anymore

Alright Waddles. It's time to begin

Operation Get Stan Over His Fear Of Heights!

I came up with that name

Happy Great Uncle's Day!

There's a Great Uncle's Day?

Of course it's not a day I've made up

High heels! You shouldn't have

Seriously. What... What is this?

What's wrong?

Are you saying these heels are too high?

Do they make you uncomfortable?

— Maybe
— Admit it! Admit you have a fear of heights!

What? That's why you bought me these?

You should be ashamed of youself!

And on Great Uncle's Day no less!

But no, I don't have a fear of heights

We now return to world's most terrifying skydiving!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Turn if off!

So I have a fear of heights

Is that really so cray-cray?

We don't have any traditional power-ups

Turkey legs, pizza boxes or golden rings

How about half a taco?

Place it on the floor

I wish I could do that!

Now I must defeat the world's greatest fight fighters!

Take me to the Soviet Union!

That's gonna be tough. For a number of reasons

But I do know a fighter here in Gravity Falls

Maximum power?

His name is Robbie V. and he's kinda my archenemy

Did he kill your father?

Well, he's dating the girl I like

and he posts a really annoying amount of status updates

And then he killed your father!

Uh, sure

Anyway, I was hoping you could scare him off for me,

so I don't have to fight the guy?

Ha-ha-ha! Your question makes my shoulders bounce!

Fireball! Uppercut! Downercut! Bowl of punch!

So you'll protect me from Robbie?

Challenge accepted! Press Start!

Oh-oh. I think I hear my uncle

Stay perfectly still

I said stay still

This is as still as I can stay

How I'm gonna get Grunkle Stan over his fear of heights?

Hey Mable. Have you met Rumble yet?

He's my new bodyguard

The child gave me a taco!

Wow! He's got a crazy voice!

Here, say these words

Effervescent!

Applefritter!

Riboflavin!

Mabel, he's not a toy, he's a fighting machine

I'm gonna get him to defend me from Robbie

Isn't that kinda like cheating?

I guess so

Well, I'll see you after the fight

Poop! Poppenbuts!

Tell me my opponent's special moves

Don't worry. As soon as he sees you,
he's gonna wet his pants

His wet pants will be no match for this!

Woah! Where did that come from?

I punched an oil drum!

Trust me, you won't need that. Just give him a good scare

Yes!

With this!

This street has really dangerous litter

Hey Grunkle Stan!

How would you like to go take a walk

nowhere in particular while wearing a blindfold?

Huh! Beats just sitting around being old

Wait a minute!

You're not planning on taking me
somewhere super high up, are you?

Grunkle Stan! I would never!

Scout's honour!

All right. Let's go

Hee-hee-hee

Well-well-well, look who decided to show up

I thought you chickened out

You ready to settle this like men?

Look dude, I don't think you wanna fight me

Let's just call this thing off before someone gets hurt

You're scared, huh? Is that it?

Ok dude. You asked for it

Who's your friend? And why is he blurry?

This happens to be the greatest warrior that ever lived

Yeah, right. Hey eyepatch, what have the kid promised you

more tate for your forearms?

How can you laugh when you killed this boy's father?!

Wait, what?

I'm giving you one last chance: back down,

or this guy is gonna go nuts

How about you back down, kid!

You asked for it. Rumble, go!

What the?..

Wha... What is happening?

I didn't want to do this, man, but you gave me no choice

Maybe now you won't mess with me

Woah! Rumble, you can stop! I think Robbie's had enough!

Rumble Throw!

Stop! I said stop!

What the? That guy is crazy!

Fireball!

What the heck was that?

You're only supposed to scare him, you almost killed him!

I will not rest until the man who dishonoured you

is DESTROYED!

Punch!

This isn't good

Something told me this would be his first stop

Chill out man!

Please, Rumble, you gotta stop!

Rumble, wait!

Punch-punch-punch!

You don't have to do this

At least pace yourself

You might get a cramp

I love you dad!

Oh! My car!

We'll just buy another one

I love being rich

All you can hit!

Hi dude!

Soos! Where have you been?

Long story, man.

Dude, did you see that video game guy
destroying everything in sight?

That's crazy!

Yeah, I kinda sorta brought him to life to be my bodyguard

But now I have to stop him before he kills Robbie!

You need an amiable sidekick with a pickup truck?

You know I do!

Take off your blindfold NOW!

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was expecting

You're doing better than I thought!

Now look over the handrail

Nope

Hey, do you smell anger and hormones?

Finally, I'm safe

Hey, Robbie, get your own water tower!

Shh, keep it down, he'll find us!

Challenger sighted!

On to save the day, dude

You can hide, but you cannot hide!

Rumble, this has to stop, please, listen to me!

Kick!

What was that?

Oh boy

We're safe, right?

Of course not! This thing is on stills!

High, high up!

Punch!

Finish him!

No no no! Don't! Don't finish me!

Rumble!

Rumble, I have something to tell you

Robbie...

Robbie didn't kill my father

Then who did?

What?

No one did, I lied to you

Then you're actually a...

bad guy!

I guess I kinda am...

My entire journey —

A lie. My honour has been insulted

Sensei warned me not to join the path of evil

The boy has led me astray from my teachings

If Robbie V. is not the last stage,

then it must be...

YOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!

Dude!

Don't fight him, man

That guy's got like the black belt
wrapped around his black belt

You could get killed

I have to

I started all this, and I've got to at least try to stop it

You're sure you wouldn't rather hide like a wimp?

Fight like a man it is

Ready!

Fight!

Fireball and lightning ball through

Fire!

Ha ha ha! You fight like a girl!

Who was also a baby!

Oh no

That was worth a shot

No. I have no looking up

...animation!

What should I do? Roll him up and put him on my wall?

Dude! We should rock paper scissors for him

FIST

FIST PUNCH

FIST PUNCH RAIN!!!

Never underestimate that I have punches!

SUPER

SUPER POWER

SUPER POWER NINJA

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER
MEGA

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER
MEGA MULTI

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER
MEGA MULTI ALPHA

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER
MEGA MULTI ALPHA META

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER
MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER
MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER
MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER PREFIX

SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER
MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER PREFIX
COMBO!!!

You sir truly are the champion of champions

Rumble wins!

Winners don't lose!

I wouldn't be too sure about that, man

Game Over!

What? No! No!

Noooooooo!

Game over, old friend

Ha-ha, nice one, dude

I'm sorry, Grunkle Stan

I thought this would help but I was wrong

So wrong!

I... I survived!

I survived and I feel great!

Wait. Let me do a cocky dance just to be sure

Ha-ha! Deal with it, world!

Stan Pines is cured of his fear of heights!

— You're coming kid?
— Uh-huh

What's the matter? You've got a fear of heights now?

Oh-oh

What? Who was that guy?

Why is it that whenever you're around,

there's always ghosts and monsters and whatever?!

I don't know, man

That guy almost broke my neck.
You know how mad I am right now?

So I guess you and I have to fight now, huh

Go ahead, man. Do your worst.

I just wanna get this over with

Oh man, I'm so gonna enjoy this

— Aren't you gonna run?
— Nope

Are you sure?

Pfft. It's not ever worth it

Playing lead guitar, so I'm gonna save my hands

Hey guys, I heard some crazy screaming out here

— Wendy?!
— Wendy?! You're back!

Yeah, man. Oh. What the heck happened here?

Freak tornado or something?

Uhh... Well...

And why are your faces all jacked up?

You guys weren't fighting each other, were you?

I hate it when guys fight

No, fighting? No, why would we? Never!

We actually fell down trying to stop
two other guys from fighting each other

Cool. Really makes me happy to see my two boys hanging out

I've got some unpacking to do

I'll text you guys later

Did you hear that? She called my one of her two boys!

She was looking at me though

Look, Robbie. If we stay at each other's
throats, we'll both lose Wendy

We need to make a cold war pact

Ok. What's that?

We need to learn to just hate each other in silence

You mean, like...

What girls do?

Yeah, exactly. What girls do

So then I told Thompson:

"Hey! Save some for the rest of us!"

Good one, Wendy!

Oh, man. Just a second

So as I was saying

Yeah, I know, you're the best!

I'm Dipper. I have shorts and determination!

It's-a me, a-Mabel!

I'm slower, but I jump higher!

Pick me or whatever

Yum-yum-yum-nom-nom-yum-yum

Alas, 'twas not but a dream

Om-nom-nom-nom

Eating my friends

Om-nom