Grantchester (2014–…): Season 6, Episode 1 - Episode #6.1 - full transcript

'The measure of a man
is not in his beliefs,

'but in his actions.

'Who said that? Was it GK
Chesterton? Never mind.

'Whoever it was knew what
they were talking about.

'This vocation of ours,

'it's about so much more than
just preaching the word of God.

'It's about living it.

'It's about getting out
there amongst the people.

'Not just giving our time,
we're giving ourselves.

'What we're doing
isn't important.

'Who cares if we're
sleeping, eating?



'These people need us.

'We can't just sit on
the sidelines, praying.

'What use is that on its own?
It's no bloody use at all.

'Our door must always be open.
Day and night, night and day.

'We have to DO as
well. We have to act.'

We are the helpers.

Every minute of every hour of
every day, it is our duty to help.

Might I make a
suggestion? Of course.

Do you think perhaps you
need a little holiday?

Welcome to Merries,

where there's never a dull
day and the sun always shines.

Leave your worries far behind you
and forget about everyday strife!

We're here to put a
smile on your face.

This is your time
to relax, to unwind,



to enjoy life to the fullest.

You can be who you
please at Merries,

so put on your glad rags,

dust off your dancing shoes,

and get ready to make friends
and memories you'll never forget.

I wish you and yours
a truly wonderful day!

Off you go, then.
Summer holiday!

I'm pretty sure hell is two
hours in a car with that lot.

Sylvia, where's my hat?

On your head, Jack.

I need to make a call. I
didn't cancel Bible study.

Oh, no, no, no. What?

No talking about work.
We're on holiday.

How was the train? Busy.
What have I missed?

Will, talking about work.

Oh, I don't talk about it that much.
You're still talking about it now.

Where's Leonard?
Looking for his Gorki.

Ooh, Sylvia, they
do donkey rides.

A-ha! Only Maxim can get
me through this torment.

To hell with Maxim.

We're getting drunk
and going on a pedalo.

Good Lord.

Davenport party? That's us.

Welcome to Merries!

I'm Roy Reeves, your
most venerated host.

This is the other half, Babs.
We met at castanet class.

Yeah, I don't know what
it was - we just clicked.

Click, click!

Sunny, would you mind showing these
fine folk to their chalets, please?

Absolutely, Mr Reeves.

Castanet class!

Ta-ra!

I hope you're all
ready for a merry time!

Yes.

Doesn't sound very merry to me.

Are you ready for a merry time?!

Yes! Yes!

Yay!

Hi!

Didn't do this at
private school.

Oh, good one!

Sorry, we're a little
delayed due to... Snoozing.

Good to know. We'll
be right behind you.

Sorry we're late, we
were... having a snooze.

Sorry! Sorry! Having a snooze?

If you say so.

Jack! What?

'Welcome, one and all!'

Hope you're ready to have
some fun, fun, fun tonight,

you merry lot!

Welcome to the stage,
the one, the only,

Merries House Band!

Fun Was there ever
a more insipid word?

You know what I
hate more than fun?

Enforced fun.

If someone has to tell you
something's fun, it generally isn't.

Oh, neighbours. Nice.

I'm Sid Danker. This
is my... wife, Margie.

Nice to meet ya. Hello.

How do you do?

Mwah!

You been here before?
No, first time.

Quality of guest isn't what
it was. Too many Northerners.

Is that right?

I'll tell you what, we'll get on
your table tomorrow, shall we?

We'll have a good chinwag.

Lovely. Yeah, lovely.

Wouldn't that be
lovely? Lovely.

Scouts! I didn't cancel them.

Will!

Relax.

Tiptoe through the roses.

Tulips. Exactly.

Breathe the fresh air.
Look at the stars.

Have a snooze, maybe.

It's been a while since
you had a lady friend.

Romance, that's what you need.
Find yourself a nice girl.

All right, all right,
thank you, everyone,

for that sage and
unsolicited advice.

Photograph? Two bob
for five copies.

Oh, lovely.

Smile. Come on.

Say "Merries". Merries!

[ALL CHUCKLE

I couldn't help but overhear.

If it's a nice girl
you're looking for...

She's not my type.

Too attractive?

Too friendly?

Too uncomplicated?

The Merries House Band, everyone!
Weren't they fantastic, yeah?

Now, before we crack on,

regulars Margie and Sid

have been married
two years today.

Hurray!

Come on, Marge, up you come.

Up you come.

Come on!

Ain't she beautiful?

Come on, give 'em a
spin. Give 'em a spin.

Happy anniversary, darling.

You're the light of my life.

Let's see how that light's
going in a decade, eh, folks?

Margie and Sid!

For goodness' sake, Sid, do
you have to make such a show?

Everyone's staring!

Had my cheque book
stolen the other day.

I didn't report
it to the police.

Nah, the thief spent
less than the wife.

But that is marriage for you.

It a very expensive way of
getting your laundry done...

I'm not sure I can sit through
this for the next five nights.

Try a whole summer.
It's intolerable.

You know, marriage, it's
like a deck chair, innit?

It's ever so comfy at first,
bloody impossible to get out of.

Whoa! Sid!

Help me get him
back to the chalet.

Quality of guest
isn't what it was.

I've got 'em rolling in
the aisles down here!

It's not that funny, Sid.

Now, the wife, she said...

'Goodnight Campers'

Nightcap?

I would, but I thought
it might be nice

to take in the evening air.

Right.

That's not the knock.

Simon says touch your knees.

Oh, they're playing Simon Says.

Do you wanna join in?

No? Oh.

Simon says hop like a bunny
rabbit! Hop, hop, hop.

Good Lord.

Oh, come on, I'm starving.

My stomach thinks my
throat's been cut.

I know. I understand. I've
been here for 25 minutes!

This happened last
year! I want a refund!

Ladies and gentlemen, if
you could just bear with us.

Come with me now. We'll be serving
breakfast as soon as we can.

Standards have
slipped. Didn't I say?

Probably all those
Northerners, eh

Oh, looks like somebody
had the dodgy salmon.

Nah, I'm on my holidays.

Guests aren't allowed
in yet. I'm a vicar.

Wife's in a terrible state.

It's none of my business.

Police haven't
sealed off the scene.

My only business is
relaxing with my thoughts.

Already seen the
laundry men go in.

Guests leaving without
being interviewed.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely bloody not.

You might want to photograph
the body before you move him.

Detective Constable Gerry Wicks.
And who the hell might you be?

Detective Inspector Keating.

I see. Technically,
"I see, sir."

Wife says he had a dodgy ticker.

Few too many beers,
few too many ciggies.

Hits the deck like
a sack of potatoes.

Apologies.

It's natural causes.

I'd stake my life on it.

Geordie, soil.

Here, you see.

He was dragged in.

Lidocaine.

Might not wanna stake your life
on natural causes just yet.

Was he taking painkillers?

Roy had a slipped disk. It
had bothered him for years.

Was it bothering him last
night? Well, I wouldn't know.

He comes here to practise
his routine after closing.

I was in bed.

Ah, thank you! Thank you
for your concern... sir.

I look forward to
speaking again, Gerry.

You don't mind if I
call you Gerry, do you?

If you could be as
discreet as possible,

I would really appreciate it.

You seemed upset by
your husband's jokes.

They're terrible jokes.

About his terrible wife.

It's an act. It's not real.

A little close to the knuckle.

A joke isn't a joke if it's
not close to the knuckle,

wouldn't you say?

Five whole days without a
carcass, is it too much to ask?

We keep going.

We keep giving our guests
a merry old time, for Roy.

She seems pretty stoic.

Howdy there, fellas. Howdy, Sid.

Is it a murder? Is it the wife?

Sylvia!

In my Agatha Christies,
it's always the wife.

Well, it looks like natural
causes. Aw, poor chap.

Time to join our conga line!

Conga line, Sylvia! Ooh,
I love a conga line!

Sorry about Mr Reeves. He'd
want us to enjoy ourselves.

Let's
make this a day to remember!

The longest conga line yet!

Did you hear that
music blast last night?

It was ten past
midnight, I checked.

Come and join the conga line!

Come on, you two, no excuses!

Because nothing says "in
memoriam" like a conga line

Is that an Argus? It is.

Bit old, but...

I use an Argus. I've actually
just had some photos accepted

for an exhibition. Really?
We'd love to take a look.

Calling Mr
Marlowe to the conga line!

Daniel Marlowe, hurry up!

Duty calls. Another
time, perhaps.

Oh, Gorki. Have you read it?

Half of it. It's quite...

Impenetrable? Dull?

So unbelievably dull.

Calling Leonard
Finch to the conga line.

Leonard Finch to the
conga line. Hurry up!

Leonard Finch.

Bryan Stanford.

So, he's listening to this.

He slumps forward...

OK, but then how does he
end up in the ballroom?

Geordie.

Excuse me, guests
aren't allowed in here.

Sorry, we... we didn't realise.

Ah, would you look at that?

Mm-hm, fancy

This safe, where does
Mr Reeves keep the key?

You shouldn't be in
here. He's a detective.

He's just doing his
job. And I'm doing mine.

Perhaps you'd like to
answer his question.

Perhaps you'd like
to obey the sign.

Ah. Mm-hm.

Enjoy rifling through a
dead man's belongings.

Does she ever stop smiling?

Sorry, you were probably
just being polite,

saying you'd see my
work. Not at all.

Beautiful light.

Not that I'm an aficionado.

Firenze! Have you been?

No.

Me neither. I've
never been anywhere.

Thank you.

I went to Morocco once.

It was transcendent.

Hard to find transcendence
in this place.

I can imagine.

There's hours' worth
of Cinefilm here.

Oh, Margie gets about a bit.

Not just the Northerners
lowering the tone, then.

She's no ordinary holidaymaker.
She was working the camp.

Roy sets his male guests up
with Margie, takes these...

Then what, he blackmails them?

Not exactly the souvenir snap
you'd want your wife to see, is it?

Well, would you look at that?

Well, that is certainly one way
to meet the light of your life.

Bodies
square, please.

Right.

May I?

All right. Got my eye on you.

Keep your hands north of
the border. Sid, please!

So, how long you
been coming here?

I used to work here, so...
Let me guess. You're a dancer.

Dancer, singer.

Entertainment was
something back then.

Local paper used to say I was
destined for the West End.

Is this where you and Sid met?

Place must hold happy memories.

I think you should concentrate
on your footwork, Mr Davenport.

Margie, we've seen
the photographs.

The ones Mr Reeves took.

Excuse me.

Margie?

What did you say to her?

What is it, my love?

Come here. Stop
fretting, Sid, please.

I demand to know
what you said to her.

Demand? Don't be so dramatic.

They know. About me.

What sodding business
is it of yours?

I thought you were on your
holidays? So did I, Sid.

I saved her from that bastard.

What matters is Margie's
with me now and she's happy.

You got nothing to be
ashamed of, my love.

Do you have to make such
a song and dance, Sid?

You must've despised him.

Us, and anyone who met him.

So, why come back? To rub
the bastard's nose in it.

He tried to ruin me.

I got the girl. I got
the happy ever after.

Good riddance to him, I say.

Do you ever feel different
from other people?

I think the more appropriate
question might be,

do I ever feel
remotely the same?

You know, I... I look around here
and I see all these people smiling

and enjoying themselves.

All this inane bloody nonsense.

They're just having fun.

It is terribly inane,
though, isn't it?

Being different isn't
so terribly bad.

Better than being
something you're not.

You'll go there one day.

Sell your photographs
outside the Duomo.

Make an absolute fortune.

No.

Sorry.

No, sorry. I'm sorry.

Bringing your wife back to
the place she turned tricks.

To show off to your blackmailer.
Who says romance is dead?

Who turned tricks?
Who's a blackmailer?

No-one.

I've set up the projector in
the main office, Inspector.

Thank you.

It's just a bit of film
I've got to watch, Cathy.

Natural causes, you said.

As natural as they come.

And Detective Wicks
will be here shortly.

Mm-hm.

Promise me there is not
a murderer on the loose.

What about the kids?!

Wouldn't fancy his
chances against our lot.

We don't know if it's murder.

Not for sure.

Five days, you said.

Do you know what's
worse than enforced fun?

Someone that sulks
their way through it.

Don't be angry.

Why would I be angry?

I was convivial with Bryan,

he got the wrong impression,

and... Sir?

And...?

He tried to kiss me.

Bryan? Bryan, Bryan?!

Shhh!

Take it as a compliment.

You're a handsome chap.
He's a handsome chap.

Overdose.

There's enough lidocaine to kill
that bloody donkey out there.

I still think there's a chance
it could be natural causes.

When was the last time
you had a murder case?

'36, I believe.

Where were you?

School.

I'll look this over for
you, how about that, hm?

I doubt it'll make much
difference, but if you must.

Mrs Reeves. Evening, Miss Grant.

Lovely dress.

Were you aware of your
husband's dealings?

We having a merry old time?

Did you know he was
blackmailing the guests?

Of course I bloody did.
But you didn't stop him?

This place was my father's.

Then I married, and
it belonged to Roy.

He ruined it.

That's the way it
goes, isn't it?

So, yes, I knew what he was
doing. And, no, I didn't stop him.

Does that answer your question?

Lidocaine. Injected?

Swelling in the throat.

So he ingested it.
With his supper, maybe?

Starting to wish I
hadn't had that hot pot.

He was fine on stage.

It must be someone who knew him.

Excuse me, would you like
to dance? Not now, sorry.

Someone who knew
he took lidocaine.

What?

You only live once.

I think I was a little rude.

A little? Inordinately rude.

Extremely, supremely...

Extraordinarily?
Extraordinarily rude.

I'd love to dance with you.

You coming or not?

Now who's smiling?

So, tell me. Pamela.
My real name's Pamela.

Pamela's nice. Pamela's...
Middle-aged with too many kids.

Ha! And a husband she hates.

Pamela Smith doesn't get top
billing at the Palladium.

Besides, everyone here's pretending
to be someone they're not.

I bet even you are.

Sadly, I am deeply
uncomplicated. Uh-uh. No.

This face is hiding
all sorts of secrets.

Go on, then, try me.

You've got a love child.

Not that I know of.

Doomed affair with
a beautiful widow?

Ah, if only.

There must be something.

I am my work. My work is me.

That's as scandalous as it gets.

Do you ever feel like you work
because there's something missing?

That got serious suddenly.
We can do serious, can't we?

I love what I do. I love
making people happy.

Oh, I love my job,
too. I just...

Sometimes, I feel like there
must be something else.

Like what?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

You know how this goes, right?

We have a few nice nights,
you go back to your life,

I go back to mine, and we
never see each other again.

Mmm, it's a terrible idea

Terrible. Truly, truly awful.

Er... I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to stop you there.

He told me he'd destroy this. He
used you, like he used Margie.

Not like Margie. I'm not cheap.

You don't like what
Roy was making you do.

Him dying certainly
put a stop to that.

You think I killed him?

Did you? 100 times in my head.

But no.

Did you sleep with them?

Is that all this was to you?

Just a way to blackmail me?

Oh, this is the most uncomfortable
bed I've ever slept in.

It's cheap and it's gaudy,

and I'd quite like Mrs
C to boil these sheets.

Doesn't seem so bad.

Just a minute!

Might I talk with you?

Bryan.

I never had Sunny down as a
younger version of Margie.

Are you upset?

No. You liar.

You're right about one thing.
You do not have a type.

From a nun to a prostitute.

Geordie. It's almost biblical.

It's Roy.

Well, if he's in it,
then who took it?

Thank you, contestant
five. And the scores are?

Go on, Margie, get up
there. I don't want to, Sid.

And our final pair of pins!

Go on, Sylvia.

Contestant number six is
housekeeper to Reverend Davenport

and his curate Mr Finch.

What did God say after creating
man? "I can do better."

And these legs are living proof.

Bloody hell. Higher! Higher!

Lower! Lower!

Thank you, contestant
number six.

And the scores are?

Well done, Sylvia.

And the winner is
contestant number 6!

Oh!

This might be the
happiest day of my life.

Our wedding apart, of course.

You know they give it to the
old girls out of sympathy.

Know that from
experience, Margie?

Mrs Chapman.

Excellent.

A word, if you don't mind.

Mr Reeves would set
up the men with Sunny.

I'd film them.

In flagrante?

No, Sunny would
never go that far.

She'd dance with
them. A kiss, maybe.

What other footage do you have?

You were filming the
night Mr Reeves died.

Er... just his comedy routine.

"Comedy" in inverted commas.

Can I take this?

Absolutely.

You're a clergyman?
That's right.

It's a rather delicate matter.

Anything you say will
be in confidence.

Your curate.

I saw him with a man.

They were in bed together.

That can't be the case.

Are you doubting what I saw?

I'm doubting your
reading of the situation.

What other way is
there to read it?

I'll speak to him.
I should report it.

I'll speak to him.

Please, just... just
leave it with me.

Action has to be
taken, Mr Davenport.

He has to be dealt with.

Bugger. Nothing.

Let's watch it again.

No, no, no, you don't.

You're gonna have dinner with
me, then we're going to dance,

before you walk me
out under the stars

to tell me that you love me.

Understood?

That sounds pretty
comprehensive.

He keeps staring.

Have a drink, stop worrying.

I'm so scared. Go
on, you'll be great.

Roy promised he'd
make her a star.

What she had to do
wasn't her choice.

Roy wasn't there when
she made a play for me.

Who said she was making a play?

Did it ever cross your mind that
it was as simple as she liked you?

Not now, I've got
butterflies enough.

I'm sorry. You can understand
why I thought what I thought.

That I was cheap?

That your intentions
towards me were... Cheap.

I'm not Margie. I
didn't say you were.

I didn't sleep with them.

I'm not hitching my wagon to
the first miserable old sod

who can get me out of here.

I liked you.

Liked, past tense?

The Merries House Band!

Now, please, give a very warm
welcome to tonight's act,

Miss Pamela Smith.

We'll see.

Thank you. Thank you.

I've been doing some
decorating recently.

Do you know how many men it
takes to wallpaper a bedroom?

Well, depends on how
thinly you slice them.

A friend of mine once
said that marriage is...

The stout. What? ..a
three-ring circus.

The lidocaine was in the
stout. Engagement ring,

wedding ring, suffering.

Right, don't take your
eyes off that glass.

Oh, bugger. No, no, no. No.

Look how much stout's
in his glass now.

Maybe he got a top up.

Or someone gave him that glass.

I sometimes think wives
are like ventriloquists.

They sit there nodding

whilst the dummy
does all the talking.

You know what I mean,
ladies, "Yak, yak, yak."

Ah, my grandmother had it right.

She buried three
husbands. Three!

Two of them were only napping.

My granny was onto
something, she really was.

She said the quickest
way to a man's heart

was through his chest.

She wasn't wrong.

You put the lidocaine
in your own drink

and you gave it to Roy.

I don't follow you.

Outside.

I have three pets, which is
pretty much like having a husband.

A dog who growls all morning,
a parrot who swears all day,

and a cat who comes
home late at night!

If your husband brings
you flowers, ladies,

and says it's for no
reason, there's a reason.

There is most
definitely a reason.

'I'm not Margie.

'I'm not hitching my wagon to
the first miserable old sod

'who can get me out of here.'

'For goodness' sake, Sid,
do you have to make a show?

'Everyone's staring!'

Roy set out to ruin you, Sid.

You put enough lidocaine
in that drink to kill him.

That's right, isn't it? No.

No, it isn't right.

It's pretty insensitive to bring
your wife here for your anniversary.

A place where everyone
knew about her past.

Perhaps that was the
final humiliation.

You put the lidocaine
in Sid's pint.

And then Roy accidentally took the
pint intended for your husband.

When Sid fell, you must've
thought it was all going to plan.

But he was drunk, not poisoned.

Sid!

I don't understand.

You took Sid back
to your chalet.

But he wasn't dying. SNORING.

So you panicked.

And then, for some reason,
you went out again.

I still had the vial on me.

Had to get rid of it.

Margie, my love,
what are you saying?

We know Roy was in his
office because of the music.

And we know he made it outside
because of the mud on his shoes.

You knew Roy practised
his routine after hours.

So you dragged him
into the ballroom.

When I saw him, I knew.

Knew what, Margie?

That I'd killed the wrong man.

You don't mean that.

I don't understand. I don't.

You brought me here
to score points.

How do you think
that makes me feel?

Roy was the one
who humiliated you.

You treat me like
some kind of prize.

I feel worthless, Sid.

You were nothing but a
whore when I met you.

And you still make
me feel like one.

I saved you from the
bastard. That's not enough.

I gave you everything.
Not love, Sid.

You never gave me love.

Even on holiday, we can't be us.

Bryan would be a damn fool
to take it any further.

It's more than that.

We can never be ourselves.

I long to hold hands.

Imagine if we could
hold hands every day.

It would become very
dull, very quickly.

Come here.

Right now, straight to the
car. Stop running, Ivy!

Knew that Margie had a glint in
her eye. Oh, that's definitive.

I was right, though.
It was the wife.

You thought it was Roy's wife!
You can't just pick any wife.

These are yours.

Thank you.

I've spoken to Mr Finch.

And?

I'll be taking up the
matter on our return.

I felt it was my duty.

More than that, I felt it
was a moral obligation.

I hope you understand.

I'd appreciate it if you'd
let me handle it from here.

Of course.

What did he want?

Photographs. That all?

What else would it be?

Now, I don't know about you,

but I am really looking
forward to getting home.

Thing about this place,
everyone always leaves.

You could leave, too.

I'm going to. End of the season.

You're wrong, by the way.

I seem to be making
a habit of that.

Maybe you work
because you love it,

not because there's
something missing.

Shame.

I think I could've
fallen in love with you.

Welcome to Merries,
where there's never a dull day,

and the sun always shines.

Forget work,

leave your worries far behind

and get ready to make friends
and memories you'll never forget.

For those guests who are leaving
us, we wish you bon voyage.

But don't despair,
it's not forever.

Though you may be far away,
no distance can keep us apart.

We'll hold you
safe in our hearts.

And in time, we'll meet again.