Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 5, Episode 18 - Con-Heir - full transcript

Gossip Girl here,
your one and only source...

... into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

They needed a family member
for a blood transfusion.

- And I gave the doctors Jack's number.
- Jack?

I told Chuck he doesn't have my heart
anymore. It belongs to someone else.

I've always hesitated
going after Lola's father for child support.

- You know who he is?
- I'm looking at him.

It's time to pass the Gossip Girl baton.
Now, be a doll and send this for me.

There's stuff on this laptop
that'll blow people's minds.

Why did you introduce this girl
as your daughter? Who is she?

- Ivy Dickens.
- Your mom hired me to be you.



- The rest of my estate, I leave to you...
- Only reason mother left you trinkets...

- Ivy Dickens.
- I think it'd be best if you left.

I was just gonna say the same thing.
This is my apartment now.

Where has she been?

And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

... Gossip Girl.

Dear S by S readers,
it looks like spring has finally sprung...

... and lucky us, one thing that hasn't yet
popped up is Gossip Girl.

Hopefully, my family's unfortunate exile to
Brooklyn will pass quietly and with dignity.

Oh.

What's wrong?

I'm perfect as usual.
And we've been waiting weeks, so...



Blair...

Oh! Oh, God.

Oh.

I thought they were having breakfast
with William.

Yes, here.

You're welcome to join us.

How could I say no?

If I knew this was what you meant when
you invited me for a corporate retreat...

...I might have packed differently.

You didn't need clothes for Mistress Katya's
blindfolded trust exercise.

But I'd wear something more suitable...

...when I thank you officially
for saving my life.

From that arsonist Russell Thorpe?
That was a year ago.

- Took you long enough.
- No. I'm referring to the car accident.

Your blood donation, after my body
rejected the first transfusion...

...and I needed a family member.

Oh, that.

Well, I wouldn't be here without you.
I'm eternally grateful.

Yeah, well, I considered letting you die
and taking your billions.

That's why you let me have
all the hot ones last night.

My first gift.
My second is a bit larger.

I've endowed a new wing of the hospital
where I was treated.

It's going to be The Jack Bass Pavilion.

Tonight is the ribbon cutting ceremony
for the renovation.

Seriously, you're not just trying to get me
to the hospital to put me in rehab?

No. But that said...

...you might want to get rid of the evidence
of last night's exploits before we go.

I'll sleep it off...

...with you. And you. Come on.

I made too many waffles, only because
it's great to be back in my kitchen. Heh.

You mean the stove with burners
you have to light with a match?

It's the quirks, the little quirks,
that make it feel like home.

I never knew the croissants in Brooklyn
rivaled Sant Ambroeus.

They don't.
I ran up there this morning.

I stopped by to see Vanya,
who had some packages for me...

...and arranged to have, um,
Serena's delivered.

It is ludicrous that we have to go
to these lengths to get our own mail.

Please tell me
you've found a way to fix this.

Well, there's nothing technically wrong with
the will, so as executor my hands are tied.

The law requires I remain neutral.

Lily and I have a meeting
with Bruce Caplan later.

It's best we get our legal opinions
from an expert.

He won't tell you anything different.

- What are you even still doing here?
- Uh, Rufus, William...

...let's not let Ivy drive us apart.

Sounds like everyone's got lots to do today.
You should probably get started right away.

- Uh, Blair and I can clean up.
- I don't...

Uh, see... Why...
You shouldn't all leave immediately...

...because when you deal with a charlatan
like Ivy Dickens, time is of the essence.

You see what Lily and
Serena said about me today in the paper?

- I don't read the paper.
- Not even your boyfriend's?

Because that's where it is.

They said my father's fatal overdose...

...sparked my lifetime
of criminal behavior.

I'm not a criminal. You know that.

Well, a year ago I might have agreed
with you, but now?

Lily has plenty of money.
CeCe just wanted me to have some too.

Ivy, I really think it would be best if you
stopped calling me, okay?

Lola.

Hey, I was just about to call you.

Is there any chance I could
interview you for my Ivy Dickens story?

I'm sorry, Serena,
I'm really not comfortable getting involved.

You already are involved.

Never mind what she did to your family,
what she did to you was worst of all.

- She stole your identity.
- I don't want to talk about it, okay?

Especially not in the press.

Okay, well,
if you change your mind...

I swear that wasn't a
botched attempt to get you two together.

- She just works here.
- I know.

All I wanna do is figure out
if I fit into this family.

But I don't know how to do that
in the middle of a war with Ivy.

Did you call your Uncle William back?
He's CeCe's executor.

She trusts him a lot.
Maybe he has some ideas.

I guess it couldn't hurt to go ask.

Oh.

This coffee is probably cold and
I just dumped my problems in your lap.

I swear I came here with good intentions.

A warm beverage and moral support
before your big investor meeting.

Thanks.

I'm trying, Carol,
but a will is a legal document.

I can'tjust overturn it
because you're blackmailing me.

I don't care
what's legal. I want my inheritance.

You can pay me out of your pocket
if it's easier.

You know I can't do that.
I work for a living.

Get ready for Serena and Eric to hate you
when they find out you fathered...

...my daughter while you were married.
- Lily will never forgive you, you know that.

You hired someone to play our daughter
to keep it secret.

Yes. Which should give you some sense
of what I'm willing to do to get my money.

Bye. Good luck with the lawyer.

I thought I had a primping problem.

How long does it take two people
to leave the apartment?

At least they're finally gone.

We need to move fast. I don't know
how long this meeting's gonna take.

At least our month of failed intimacy
attempts brought to light...

...every potential problem.

I moved the condoms
from the dresser to the nightstand...

- That's one I don't care to relive.
- It wasn't as bad...

...as the time my dad and Lily...
- Twice.

Three times less than Serena
went into our shared bathroom.

How does the housekeeper
not know how to knock?

We can't escape to a proper pied-?-terre
until Georgina gets me my divorce...

...or my family will have to pay the dowry.
- Nothing's in our way now.

Not even another
unfortunate unzipping incident.

Oh, my poor Prabal.

- Wait. Do you feel that?
- What? Uh...

It's like someone's watching us.

Um, it's just Cedric.

Uh, maybe that'll stop?

Earplugs? Noise-canceling headphones?

- Thank you so much.
- You have the numbers for your column?

- I need them for my meeting.
- They're on my desk.

Thanks.

Oh, hey, I saw you and Lola earlier.

Maybe you could take it easy on her?

I think I'll determine
how to handle my family.

Well, it was just a suggestion.

S, welcome to your future
as Gossip Girl 3.0.

I wouldn't tell anyone you have this.
Trust me, anonymity is key.

Don't pretend you're not intrigued.

We know there's only one Upper East Side
blogger who matters, and it's not S by S.

The power is now in your hands.
Your old friend, G. Singular.

PS, keep the password to yourself.

The only recourse you really have is...

...if you can prove CeCe wasn't
of sound mind when she changed her will.

Everyone we spoke with said
your mother's mind was sharp to the end...

...even with the gin.

There's no other way to overturn the will?

They'll grant a hearing, freeze assets,
with evidence of wrongdoing.

She pretended to be my niece.
What could be more wrong than that?

Nothing, if CeCe
had named Charlie Rhodes in her will.

But she left everything to Ivy Dickens.

CeCe clearly knew who she really was.

At least we have plenty of money and a
great place to live while we figure this out.

I'm sorry, Rufus, but I can't see a bright side
to a con artist living in my home...

...debasing my mother's memory.

She did something illegal.

I just have to find it.

I don't understand.

I'm offering to pay you
just to show me fabric.

Okay. Fine.

Having trouble finding a decorator?

Or an art consultant,
or personal shopper...

...or anyone from the Upper East Side
to talk to me.

What's the point of having money
if no one will let me spend it?

Well, perhaps I can be of assistance.

For a percentage of that money.

I'd pay anything to get Lily and Serena
to stop blackballing me.

All you have to do is throw a party.

Why? No one will come.

They have no choice if it's a benefit to
honor the Celia Rhodes Cancer Foundation.

I'll see to that. For a healthy fee.

You just can't let anybody know
that it was my idea.

You've done a greatjob building up a
full-fledged news source.

But with so many other media options,
what sets you apart to compete long-term?

We don't just follow the news,
we're the people involved in it.

We get stories and perspectives
no one else has access to.

Isn't that Serena van der Woodsen?
I've seen her in the society pages.

Exactly my point.

Serena, this is James Mackenzie.
He's considering becoming...

...our new financial partner.
- Oh, it's a pleasure.

Serena's blog is one of The Spectator's
biggest draws.

I'm just writing a story right now
on Ivy Dickens.

That's the woman who inherited
from your grandmother.

Like I said, Serena's writing from the inside.
She's our generation's Dominick Dunne.

I can't wait to read it.

Nate, you can expect
an official offer by tonight.

Thank you.
I look forward to working with you.

I'll see myself out.

I hope he means it. His offer's the only one
with the money we need.

So thank you. I think your Ivy expos?
helped close the deal.

Is that the story?

- Oh, Gossip Girl's back?
- I think so.

I was just, um, looking up some stuff on Ivy,
but there is a new post.

Do you know she's throwing a party
in CeCe's honor?

I can't believe this girl,
she has no shame.

That we knew.
Strange I didn't get the blast.

I figured she was still on vacation.

- I just got it now so you'll get it soon.
- Let me know what you find on Ivy.

I'm gonna see how we're doing on the
Jack-Bass-saving-Chuck story.

There's no answer
in Dr. Van der Woodsen's room.

I was wondering
if I could leave a message.

Oh, heh, actually, never mind.

Lily just RSVP'd she's coming.

The plan's working.
And thanks for helping me with the caterer.

Keep the thank-yous,
but I'll take that check you offered.

- I haven't heard from Serena.
- That wasn't part of our agreement.

I've lived here long enough to know not to
write a check until they actually show up.

I'll see what I can do.

Hey, if I have to be sober tonight,
shouldn't you?

I just had an interesting conversation
with Nate.

It's about time he confessed
his feelings for you.

The Spectator is doing a story
on the hospital dedication tonight.

His reporter did some research on you.

If she's having a coronary reading
about my history, then I can help her.

I'm about to have my own hospital wing.

Incredibly, it wasn't your fondness
of the beer bath at Chodovar...

...or your restraining orders that
caught her eye. It was your time at Eton.

It's an English boarding school.
Everyone tries it.

Schoolboy exploits aside...

...spending more than three months
in the UK from 1980 to 1996...

...prohibits you from donating blood
in this country.

Didn't they ask you about that?

They also asked if I ever used drugs
or slept with prostitutes.

I told them what they wanted to hear
so I could save your life.

Right. I should have known better
than to expect you to play by the rules.

It's the only way I'm predictable.

I should get to the hospital
and make sure everything's ready.

- I'll see you there.
- I'll just drink enough to behave normally.

Hey...

...how'd your meeting go?
- I should have the official offer tonight.

- Oh, that's great, congratulations.
- Thanks.

You're a good actress, but that smile
doesn't look real. What's wrong?

Uh, not to sound tacky,
but can I ask a rich-person question?

I put my extensive knowledge of privilege
at your disposal.

When I went to see William, I ended up
overhearing Ivy offering him money.

He's the executor of CeCe's will,
so that's sketchy, right?

A beneficiary is not allowed to reward
an executor.

It would call the inheritance into
question if he worked for her.

You think William would do that
to his family?

Well, William's history
isn't exactly pristine.

He's been known to con people,
and so has Ivy.

I mean, this would be grounds
to contest the will in court.

I think you have to tell Serena.

I have to think about it.

And I have to get to class too.

Um...

Let's keep this between us for now, okay?

Yeah, okay.

Let me guess, you are redecorating? Heh.

I know that the jewelry mother left me
is here somewhere.

I can't believe I have to go to a benefit
for my mother, as a guest at my home.

You sure you don't want me there
for moral support?

No, you've so been looking forward to this
Magnetic Fields concert.

And let's be honest, I fake a happy face
better than you do.

I just wanted to wear
something of CeCe's...

...to remind everyone
who her true daughter really is.

Hmm, will, uh, this necklace work?

It's perfect.

Thank you.

Hmm, I know how hard this has been, Lil.

Um, so if it helps,
I decided to buy us a little privacy.

- You reconsidered about the hotel?
- Just for tonight, to start.

That's great, and then once we realize
it's easier, we can always extend.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna pack.

No, you don't need more stress.
That's why I got the room for Dan.

I should take this for the loft. I don't know
how I didn't think of that sooner.

Oh.

And us entering separately eliminated
the threat of anyone seeing us together.

Alas, no car alarms,
there's no construction.

No friends,
no housekeepers or family to interrupt.

Oh. I think I forgot the champagne
at your place.

We don't need it. Or this conversation.

Let's hope
good flings come to those who wait.

Mm, yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, my words exactly.

Well, it was only one word.

- One's all you need, really.
- Yeah.

Well, I would love to stay for seconds,
but, heh...

I should get back home
and make sure...

...that fake Dorota doesn't put my
Lemaire cashmere in the washer again.

Oh, it's understandable.

Well, uh, I mean, anyway...

...we're both going to that horrible
Ivy thing tonight, right?

I mean, that's the only reason
we had to finish in such a timely fashion.

Yeah, family obligations are important.

Right? Well,
I'll see you over tacky aperitifs.

I'm sorry, Mr. Bass. There must be
a misspelling or a glitch in the system.

I can't find your file.

- All my records are missing?
- I was on duty the night of your accident.

But the only Bass that came up
in my search is first name, Jack.

Oh, his, uh, records are fine too, actually.

Except I'm not allowed to show you
another patient's information.

Of course.

I'm just trying to find out some specifics
about his blood donation that saved my life.

I was hoping to mention them,
when I dedicate the new wing in his honor.

He's the one who gave you blood?

I don't understand.

I'm sorry.
I can't discuss someone else's chart.

So I'll stop asking you to.

Could you let Director Brancolini
know that I'm here?

I'd like to speak with him
before the ceremony.

My pleasure.

I don't understand.

If Lola saw my dad take money from Ivy,
why didn't she tell me herself?

This is complicated for her.
I just thought you deserved to know.

This way Lola isn't in the middle.

Oh, yeah, but instead,
she'll accuse my dad of taking bribes.

Look, he would never do something
like that. Lola must've heard wrong.

I don't think she did.
But I won't write anything until I confirm it.

You're not gonna "write anything"?
What? This is my article.

You're too close, Serena. I'm sorry.

I can't take a chance
on the article that hooked Mackenzie.

Hey, Dad, I'm so glad it's you.
I wanted to ask you something.

Great, let's chat
at Ivy Dickens' party tonight.

I wasn't planning on going to that.
Why are you?

I know how you feel about her,
but it's a benefit for your grandmother.

I felt we should all be there as a family.

Um, okay, you know what, Dad, um,
I guess you're right.

- I'll be there at 7:30.
- Great. All right, love.

- Serena's coming.
- Ah.

All we need now
is for Ivy to write that check.

Yes, our proof
she's engaging in illegal activity.

The court will have to hear our case.

Ticktock, Upper East Siders.

This time bomb
is about to send lvy's party up in smoke.

I thought it was crank call when you say
that you come to Queens.

Why?
You know my manners are impeccable.

Even if it means crossing
into unsavory areas to give you...

...a baby gift.

You weren't there to wrap it, so...

This is re-gift from your wedding to prince,
not present for Leo.

Everyone brings the child a gift.

But no one needs champagne more
than a new mother.

Now, you must have something
to break these in with.

This will do.

I'll be here. Thanks.

I was just in the neighborhood.

Thought I'd stop by to see if you, uh,
wanted to grab a drink.

Or we could just drink here.

You must have something. Unless you
haven't honored our Don Draper pact.

Does this sudden onset alcoholism...

...have something to do with Blair?
- No, uh, Blair is great. I mean...

...it's perfectly normal for a new relationship
to need time to find its, uh, groove.

Sex was bad, wasn't it?

Mm.

It happened to you too? Must be her, then.
Makes me feel a lot better.

Now that you drink, spill.

What Mr. Lonely Boy do?

Don't tell me there anatomical reason
he always so lonely.

Dorota. No.

Everything was physically appealing...

...but the problem wasn't the man.
It was the deed.

You see, I didn't have
any technical difficulty, it was just...

...inexplicably terrible.

Mm, sounds like a classic case
of the Dan Humphrey overthink.

Right, so, what if after the build-up, that
aspect of the relationship doesn't work?

Maybe he nervous.

Uh, what he say when you tell him
sex only so-so?

- Well, what did Blair say about it?
- Nothing at all.

Oh, after you lied
and said how great it was?

Honesty is your only shot
at making this any better.

Well, it would have been impolite
and I didn't want to upset him.

Upset is only the beginning
if you say nothing.

It take honest communication...

...to turn Vanya from boy to man...

...in bedroom.

I'm gonna need another drink
to forget I just heard that.

You need to go talk to her.

Okay. Just after one more drink.

You looking for answer in wrong borough.

You need to talk to Mr. Lonely Boy.

Fine.

But I'm gonna need a stronger buzz
to endure Ivy's party.

We're only good friends.

- Wine?
- Oh, red wine at a cocktail party.

Excuse me.

Why? What's wrong with it?

Well, you don't serve red
when people are moving around.

If they were to spill...

Well, I trust my guests. Including you.

- Thank you for coming.
- Yes, well...

...you know quite well that I would not
miss a chance to honor my mother.

I miss her too.

I know she would want us to be close.

So I was hoping we could respect
her wishes by talking again.

We used to have
such a wonderful relationship.

Yes, yes. Under, uh, false pretenses.

Then let this be our fresh start.

Um, excuse me.

Could we have a picture, please?

For CeCe.

Since when do ribbon cuttings
involve crippled kids?

I wouldn't call him crippled to his face.

Sorry, but let's face it. You're crippled.

Michael, meet Jack.

Don't touch me.

After hearing about his brave battle
with leukemia...

...I decided a blood drive
would be a much better symbol...

...of your heroism,
than a simple ribbon cutting.

Heh, another needle in the arm
doesn't sound like a celebration.

- Unless it's putting something in.
- We can celebrate properly later. He's ready.

Okay. You know I can't give
that kid my blood.

Go away.

Thank you, Michael.

And tell your agent
the check's in the mail.

You played me with a fake kid?

The kid's real, he's just not sick.
But you are. With hepatitis.

I don't have it,
so you didn't give me blood.

Only way I could get you to admit it.

So this is the end
of the Jack Bass wing?

We can discuss that
after you tell me the truth.

- Looks like you're having a stellar debut.
- Mm-hm.

Which means I did my job.

Yes. Thank you.

And I will write you that check...

...just after
I talk to Lauren Santo Domingo.

I can't believe she came. Heh.

- How you holding up?
- Seeing our home...

...taken over by Florida trash is torture,
but I'm taking it in stride.

It'll all be over soon.

She offered your father a bribe.

- How do you know that?
- He told me right after she did it...

...and luckily, he thought quickly
and he accepted...

...knowing it was the ammunition we need
to take our case to court.

He'll likely be removed as executor, but
he's willing to make that sacrifice for us.

Mom, that's, heh, amazing,
but what are you waiting for?

Ivy hasn't written your father a check yet.
Hopefully it'll be any minute.

Now look,
I know how much you dislike her.

But don't say anything.
We don't wanna spook her.

That's what I was thinking.

I just realized I have an 8:00 deadline.

Um, I hope she didn't pack up
my old computer, heh.

- Oh, Serena.
- Hi, Mr. Cabot.

Wow, you look like a million bucks
before taxes.

- Heh. Oh, gosh, thank you.
- As the late Bob Hope would say, grr.

Seriously though, I was so sorry...

...to hear about your grandmother's
passing. She was such a...

How would you say it...?
Such an original woman.

- Wouldn't you say?
- Oh, yes. Well, thank you.

Dan.

- Blair, hey.
- What are you doing here?

I'm, um...

Same as you. I'm just going to the party.

Let's go up.

Instead of standing here talking
because there's nothing to talk about.

Yeah, I agree. There's nothing at all.

I hope she has a full bar.

Yeah, mm, me too.

Go easier on me in your column,
from now on, hmm?

You gotta stop being so scandalous.
Look, I can't miss this deadline. Take care.

Serena, I've been looking for you.

- Not a good time.
- It's about Ivy.

I would love to talk about her,
but I just have to do something before 8:00.

"You can steal money,
but you can't steal class.

Looks like lvy's finally poisoned
what little remained...

... of her good will.

Last I heard,
it was illegal to bribe an executor."

That's what I wanted to tell you.
I guess Gossip Girl got to it first.

I ruined everything.

I should have known.

You only came to humiliate me
with more of your lies.

I didn't bribe William.

You tried. You said you'd pay me
to get people to attend this party.

Because you offered.

This is just all a setup.

The only setup here is whatever you did
to manipulate my mother.

You have no proof I did anything wrong.

You'd kicked me out of this house
and you can't.

I should've never had you back.

You have to tell everyone
you saw Ivy offer to pay my father.

- You're the only proof we have.
- I don't know.

It looked like William was in on it.

He only agreed to it
to prove Ivy was defrauding people.

I didn't know his plan, either.
That's why I sent the tip to Gossip Girl.

You're the only one
who can fix what I screwed up.

- This is your chance to help our family.
- Stop saying "our." I don't know...

...if I wanna be part of this family.
- Is that how you feel?

Or how your mother wants you to?

She kept you from us your entire life.

She lied to you.
She didn't want anyone else to love you.

She never even told you
who your father was.

- What's my father have to do with this?
- Because without him and without her...

...we're the only family you have.

And we really need you.

This elevator is so slow.

Feels like it's not even moving.

Did you push the button?

I thought you did it.

Wow, you are wasted.
This elevator smells like vodka.

Vodka doesn't smell.

And you are drunker than I am.

And I can tell by the fact
that you're not hyper-verbal...

...that you are avoiding something.

Well, I can tell by the fact
that you drank vodka, that you are too.

Mm.

You first.

Fine. Fine.

I wasn't a hundred percent
honest with you today.

- Me neither.
- That "wow" really meant:

"Wow, that was terrible."

It was just...

...mind-numbingly boring.

Like, the least sexy thing
since Courtney Stodden.

Yeah. I don't know who that is,
but it was much worse.

Ugh, so what...? What are?

Is our chemistry just purely intellectual?

- Is it only in our heads?
- Apparently.

Look, before we, uh, break up...

...I just want you to know
that you were really good in my head.

I am really...

...really good out of it too.
- I don't think so.

I will prove it to you.

- Right... Right here in this elevator?
- Mm.

- Don't people have to go up and down?
- Mm, yes, they do.

Ah!

I'd like to think my night
with Pamela Anderson was worth it...

...but it hasn't slowed me down.

I like to think of myself
as the Magic Johnson of hep C.

- Why didn't you tell me the truth?
- And give up a hospital wing?

We both know if you wanted one,
you'd just buy one.

You're covering
for who really gave me the blood.

Elizabeth.

She didn't want you to know.

Especially after she told you
she wasn't your mother.

Well, I guess this proves otherwise,
once and for all.

I'd like to thank her.

She's unreachable. I mean, just
refer to your previous 20 years on earth.

Let it be.
Does it matter why you're alive?

The fact is, you are.

This weekend did remind me
how much I value all my senses.

We're all the family we need.

Let's do this again.

My turf next time.

Do I need to call security
to escort you out?

- We're just waiting for the elevator, okay?
- And we'll be back. This is our home.

Not anymore.

Tonight made me see
why CeCe left it all to me.

You're so selfish that you couldn't
even honor her for an hour.

I cared about her.

All you care about
is ruining me with your lies.

It's not a lie.

- Lola.
- I heard you offering to pay William myself.

That's exactly the proof we need.

No, it's not.

They're setting me up.
You know I wouldn't do that.

All I know is what I saw, Ivy.

I'll have my lawyers start proceedings
to contest the will.

Heh, go ahead. You don't have a case.
I didn't do anything wrong.

The court will decide that.

In the meantime, your assets will be frozen.

Thank you for coming forward.

I can't believe you're taking their side.

They're just using you.

When they're done, they'll throw you out
just like they did me.

No, they won't.

They're my family.

Looks like Lola's untangled
some knots to form family ties.

This just proves sometimes you gotta
throw away the first pancake.

I don't know how breakfast food...

...has anything to do with this, but
obviously, this afternoon was an anomaly.

Where to?

Rufus and Lily
are gonna come back to the loft.

Mm, Serena will be at my place.

- I still have that hotel room.
- Haunted by The Ghost of Bad Sex Past.

You lovebirds going somewhere or not?

I need another drink.

All right.
Uh, take us to Williamsburg, please.

There's a place there
that's got about 300 whiskeys.

Mm-hm. And hopefully
a clean bathroom we can use.

Thanks again for coming forward
up there.

It's the least I can do
after thinking you were conspiring with Ivy.

Sorry about that.

Hard to know what to think
when no one's told you the whole story.

Seriously, heh.

No one's ever told me my whole story.

I used to know your mother pretty well.

And if she's concealing things from you...

...then it's probably only to protect you.
- Protect me?

How did it protect me to grow up alone
with no family but her?

Hey.

Talk to your mom.

Forgive her.

I messed things up so badly
with Serena and Eric...

...that it took a long time
to rebuild the relationship.

They found a place in their hearts
to forgive me...

...but I would never do anything
ever again to lose them.

I know.

Parents are human.
Everybody makes mistakes.

What if my dad
doesn't even know I exist?

What if all he'd want is to know me?

I'm sure he does.

Here's your cab.
You catch this one, okay?

I'll catch the next.

Thank you.

Good night.

Hey. I got your text.

What's so important
I had to come?

The Spectator's entire future.

What are you talking about?

Mr. Mackenzie saw the story about Ivy
you obviously sent in to Gossip Girl.

You knew I hooked him
with our exclusive access.

He said if I couldn't deliver on that,
I couldn't on the big things either.

He backed out, Serena.

I'm sorry, Nate.

I wanted to help my family.
You wouldn't let me put it on The Spectator.

That's all well and good, but you're fired.

Are you kidding me?

This wouldn't have happened
if you hadn't taken the story away.

I was right not to trust you with it,
or anything else.

Now, I have to try and save the jobs
of the people who still work here.

Spring is the season of rebirth.

A time for change...

... a time to blossom.

I know it's a victory,
but what if Ivy pulls an Anna Nicole Smith...

...and takes it to the Supreme Court?
This could take years.

Maybe we should look for another place.

We have another place.

No, I mean a more permanent home.

Took me a while
to get used to the Upper East Side too.

But there are always late bloomers.

- Do you take credit cards?
- Sorry, miss, we don't.

And some buds are nipped
before they can grow.

Whoo.

That Japanese whiskey went so well
with croque monsieur.

I told you,
great things grow in Brooklyn.

Well, now we have the problem of:
Where do we go from here?

Uh, here looks pretty good.

What? Ah.

New relationships flourish
and take on new form...

Andrew.

Remember the woman with the locket
I had you look for a couple years ago?

Elizabeth Fisher.

Yeah, my mother.

I need to find her again.

... while old relationships can be reexamined.

I just left Chuck.

He knows it wasn't my blood.

I think you should come back
and handle it yourself.

But some things never change.

This is the Upper East Side,
in case you forgot.

Before you say anything,
I'm sorry that I told Serena what you saw.

I wanted an honest relationship
and I shouldn't have betrayed your trust.

Thanks.

I'm just glad
everything's on the table now.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't wanna move
but I know it's my lawyer.

Hi, please tell me we have an offer
that'll at least keep The Spectator afloat.

Yes, I, uh, do know Diana Payne.

"I read your blog,
and while you do a pretty good me...

... you're not the real deal.

So if you'll just hand over the password,
I'd like my site back."

XOXO...

... Gossip Girl.