Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 4, Episode 8 - Juliet Doesn't Live Here Anymore - full transcript

Chuck and Blair decide it's in both their best interests to put the past behind them and end their vindictive games. Nate confronts Juliet after discovering a secret she has been keeping ...

Gossip Girl here,
your one and only source...

... into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

Vanessa stole my phone,
sent an e-mail to my professor.

I did not do this.

I wanted to be friends,
but what did you expect me to do?

Serena's professor is Colin.
Our cousin Colin.

- What's the problem?
- I need him.

He pays for my school, my rent.

Relationships with faculty
are strictly forbidden.

Don't think I can make it six weeks.

We stopped ourselves before we made a
mess. No one found out so we're safe.



You're different
than anyone I've known.

Save it because you're exactly like
everyone I've ever known.

A peace treaty based on more
than a handshake.

Where has she been?

And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

... Gossip Girl.

Morning, Upper East Siders.

Hope you had a good night's sleep.

Or at least a good night's play.

- I need to talk. I'm having Colin issues.
- And boundary issues.

Ladies knock. And besides,
the only issue you should be having...

...with Professor Forrester
is the topic of your midterm.



Now, I'd like to hit the snooze button
on this conversation... Okay.

All I can think about is how much
I wanna be on his arm at the ballet.

And instead, I've got the dean's target
on my back.

How are we supposed to
even try to have a relationship?

I hate it when the duvet
puffs up like that.

- Maybe it's the way you're sitting.
- We agreed to wait...

...but it feels like, meanwhile,
life is just passing us by. It's not fair.

Life is tough, Serena.
Just get a helmet.

Or at least borrow one of my chapeau.

Wear it all day to reminder you
not to lose your...

Head! Get on. Go.

Well, thank you for the great advice.

This comforter blocks out
so much noise they could sell it at Bose.

Unh, this has got to end.

Thought I just did.

That was the last time.

Hey, I'm, uh, heading over
to my dad and Lily's for breakfast.

You wanna come?

I have a lot of work,
but if you could swipe...

...some Santa Maria Novella soap
for me?

That's right, the, uh, olive oil,
not the mint.

- I know.
- Ha, ha.

I had no idea
you were a Colin Forrester fan.

I saw Matt Lauer interview him
on the Today show.

- Yeah? What was it about?
- Who was cuter.

- Or maybe that was just me.
- He's no Maria Bartiromo...

...but he is Serena's professor and she's
raving about him. I figured I'd borrow...

...that book from her...

And you checked out of this
the minute the S word came up.

Sorry, but since
the Hamilton House debacle...

...I'm dead to anyone in Serena's life,
except for you.

- Nate doesn't even return my calls.
- He's not talking to me either.

He's still pissed
that I stole that treaty.

Well, unlike you, I didn't do anything.

Juliet framed me? She's crazy?

- Any of this ringing a bell?
- Let's not get into this again.

We put it behind us,
we'll leave it there.

All right?

I got it. We're good.

I'll call you later.

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

I had to pull an all-nighter just to finish
Persuasion for my comp lit class.

Apparently, even Austen
can have a misfire.

You're just trying to avoid finishing
our conversation from the other night.

You promised me
you weren't in contact with Ben.

I'm all he has.
It's not that easy for him.

Prison shouldn't be easy,
especially when you deserve to be there.

He didn't do it.

You're the only person
that thinks that.

Why else would his lawyer
have him plead guilty?

I understand he's your brother and you
love him, but you are playing with fire.

Oh, really? And you're not?

- What's that supposed to mean?
- The way you were looking at Serena...

...at Blair Waldorf's party
the other night.

If you'll excuse me, I'm running late, so
let me say, I may pay for your life here...

...but if you continue to see your brother,
it will cost you. This is what you'll lose.

You know how much money
you can make in lobsters?

No, Daniel, I do not.

Sorry, I assumed when you invited me
for breakfast...

...that there would be, uh,
more family involved.

So did I. I forgot about Lily and Eric
going to his interview at Wesleyan.

And Serena?
Do you know where she is this morning?

Just... I mean, you know, Nate mentioned,
uh, she might be seeing someone.

Well, Lily hasn't said anything.
Why don't you just ask her?

Because I have a vested interest
in her answer.

Things between us got so sidetracked
after everything with Milo and Vanessa.

I just would like to get them figured out.
I don't know how she feels.

So take her to coffee or something.
Ask her.

You're right.
I'll just go find her on campus.

I'm gonna go for broke today.

I'm glad I could be so influential.

It's actually the title of chapter one,
"Going for Broke."

But, um, you're awesome too, Dad.

Yo. Where have you been?
You haven't been home in days.

The New York Marathon
was this weekend.

Those women run 26.2 miles in under
three hours, so their warm-up's the key.

What about you?

Things back on with Juliet?
A romantic rendezvous?

No, that's over.

I'm swinging by her place
to return her things she left at the suite.

Gotta get rid of them
so I can be done.

Closure. The unattainable goal.

In my personal experience,
the closest I've come to getting it...

...is through massive amounts
of hate-sex. But that's just me.

I'll stick to giving Juliet her shampoo
and copy of The Help back.

Well, you go ahead.

I've left my BlackBerry in the limo.

You're holding it.

Then I need another ristretto.
See you around.

- What if someone sees?
- You don't like that anymore?

No, you idiot.
I mean what if someone we know sees.

Wait, what am I saying? There will
be nothing to see. This ends here.

What about over there?

Okay, hurry.

You realize this breaks our pact
not to be alone together.

It wasn't us, it was fate.

Can we help it if we're in the same
place, same time, hailing the same cab?

- Well, it has happened before.
- Numerous times.

You know how long it would've taken
to hail another one during rush hour.

I'm having a whole new appreciation
for pleather seats with duct tape.

Where I really wanna be with you is
at the ballet tonight. It'd be in public.

- We'd be forced to restrain ourselves.
- I know more than a few...

...Columbia faculty members who
are big supporters of the Balanchine.

- Not a good idea.
- You're right.

I hate that we have to wait over a month
to have another accidental cab ride.

Unless that's enough for you?

Why don't we go away
for the weekend?

- What?
- We can go to Harbor Island...

...and spend days on the beach
and nights having long talks over dinner.

Separate rooms, of course,
so no rules get broken.

We're almost there.
What are you thinking?

I'm packing in my head already.

In a city that never sleeps,
it's important to always be alert.

Because if you blink,
you might miss something.

Or someone.

Yes, hi, I need to make an appointment
with Dean Reuther right away.

I have something
that she wants to see.

But be careful,
since the truth can be eye-opening.

Hey, excuse me. I'm dropping
some stuff off for Juliet Sharp?

- Who?
- Juliet Sharp.

4A, I think it is?

I'm sorry, there's no one named Sharp
in this building or Juliet, for that matter.

At least not in the eight years
I've worked here.

Good morning, Upper East Siders.

This is your wake-up call.

Serena. What are you doing
on campus so early?

Watching you climb out
of a brownstone vestibule...

...with Chuck following like the Bass
that ate the canary. No denials.

- Your skirt's on backwards.
- No, it isn't.

Fine. I may have slipped up a little...

...but it's just sex,
and a one-time thing at that.

Or maybe a five-time thing.

If we're being honest, I've lost count.
Though, that depends on...

...what you're counting as...
- What are you doing?

- Don't fall off the wagon now.
- I haven't.

It's just your ordinary,
run-of-the-mill ex sex...

...fueled by the most common
of aphrodisiacs:

mutual loathing and disdain.

May I remind you, having any feelings
for Chuck is where the problems start.

There are as many feelings
between me and Chuck...

...as there are thoughts
in Levi Johnston's head.

We're nothing more than enemies
with benefits.

A lot of judgment from you,
Elizabeth Taylor.

You're one inappropriate relationship
away from the Guinness Book.

Colin and I had a good talk this morning
and he wants a real relationship too.

Yes, I hear the 97th Street transverse
is a lovely spot to drive past on a date.

I saw you get in that cab.

We happen to be going away
this weekend.

So we can get to know each other
while still adhering to our rules.

Please. Do you forget
what happens to you on vacations?

There's a reason why you never get
a tan line. No willpower.

And you do?

Yes. I stopped having meaningful sex
with Chuck.

I can just as easily stop having
meaningless sex with him.

In fact, I'm going to call him
right now and make it clear...

...that our little dalliance
is finished forever.

You should follow my example before
you get your passport stamped again.

- Hey.
- This how you return phone calls now?

I went to Juliet's apartment this morning
and it turns out she doesn't live there.

- She never has.
- What?

Look, I'm sorry, Vanessa.

I should've believed you
when you said she set you up.

Juliet's a liar.
She's been lying to me this whole time.

Finally. Took someone long enough.

But seriously,
I appreciate you telling me.

Enough that you'll help me find out
what she's hiding?

Let me see,
writing a paper on Hannah Arendt...

...or a secret mission
that might help me clear my name?

- Let me grab my bag.
- All right.

Why do you have mad face?
Is everything okay?

- No. You should know better.
- I think I missed something.

I didn't. I saw you this morning
getting out of a cab with Forrester.

- Having an affair with your professor?
- Well, technically, he's a guest lecturer.

And, it's not an affair
because we agreed...

...not to do anything
until the semester is over. It's romantic.

What would be romantic is him
making a sacrifice for you.

- What are you saying?
- When we were together...

...I would've done anything for you.
This billionaire can't quit teaching...

...and take you on a date?

You're worth more than a
guest-lecture fee. Everyone knows that.

I just wish you did.

Sex in a limo.

We've literally come full circle.

You're right. We need to do
whatever we can to end this.

May be difficult, but it's the only way.

Arthur, we need to pick up some
Krug du Mesnil '95 and lots of condoms.

It's going to be a long day
of immersion therapy.

If Blair and I are going to end this...

...we'll have to have sex as many times
as we can in the next 24 hours.

You have to keep me away from Chuck
for the next 24 hours. No matter what.

- But Miss Blair...
- Don't "Miss Blair" me.

The only way to be done with this
is to have a Bassectomy.

Now, help keep me occupied.

Hey. I was just on my way
to your office.

- Look, I've been thinking...
- Think no more.

We're about to go on vacation.

We leave tomorrow morning,
at least I do.

What do you mean?

I'm on a 9 a.m. flight,
you'll be on the 11.

- Separate flights?
- We'll meet at Pink Sands.

Your room is under your name.
I always book mine under "Buffett."

Uh-oh, I can tell you're thinking again.

I'm just thinking maybe this trip
isn't such a great idea.

Fine, we won't go anywhere.
We'll just go back to waiting.

- Tough it out.
- We shouldn't have to.

We say we want a relationship...

...but neither of us
is willing to make a sacrifice.

I'm confused.
We both knew the deal going in.

- What's changed?
- I did, I guess.

I don't know,
maybe we're not such a great idea.

What happened when you got out
of the cab?

We both know that this
is just a case of bad timing.

I'm just the first one to say it.

I'm sorry.

Surprised you called. I thought you
never wanted to talk to me again.

Just because you broke up with me
doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?

Sorry. Chuck's asking
where the batteries are.

Okay, now I know you're lying.

I wish I knew when you were. Would've
saved me a lot of time, now wouldn't it?

Nate, what's going on here?

I should be asking you that.

I went to your apartment today,
they said you don't live there.

And I thought for sure I was done giving
a damn about you, but I can't let it go.

I mean, why do you need
to lie about everything?

Because I didn't want you to see
where I really live.

My actual apartment
is a studio on 126th Street.

And I couldn't even afford that
if it weren't for my cousin.

He pays for my rent, my tuition.

And the rest of the stuff I scrape
together or return, when I can. Okay?

So that's what you've been hiding?

- That you're...
- Poor?

Do you really think I would've been
keymaster of Hamilton House...

...if people knew I take Metro-North
to Woodbury Common twice a month...

...or that I do my own hair?

And would Nate Archibald
really have wanted to date me...

...if he knew I lived above a bodega
in a fifth floor walk-up...

...with fluorescent lights and
IKEA furniture I put together myself?

When my dad went to jail,
I had nothing, okay?

So I know what it's like
to feel the need to keep up.

I'm sorry I lied to you. I was ashamed.

That's the reason I broke it off
between us, because I...

I didn't wanna get too close,
but I did really like you.

And I still like you.

- I should probably get going.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait.

You finally told me the truth.

And I'm a big believer
in second chances.

I've had a couple in my life.

There's the winter opening
of the New York City Ballet tonight.

Would you wanna come?

Maybe you wear a dress
that you actually own...

...even if it's
from Woodbury Common?

Yes, I would love to.

Thank you for understanding. You can't
even imagine how much it means to me.

They say a picture's
worth a thousand words.

But in this case,
it seems like there's only three letters...

... to adequately describe
these pictures: OMG.

Dorota!

Unh.

Blair, is there something
we need to talk about?

This is no cause for concern, Serena.

I know I said I was quitting Chuck...

...and I am. It's just a bit harder
to chuck Chuck than I thought.

What if I need sex rehab,
like Jesse James?

You're gonna overcome this.

Maybe because I overcame
my obstacle today.

I showed willpower
and I broke up with Colin.

Good for you.

For once, you're thinking
with your brain and not with your...

Macaroon?

If he really wanted to be with me,
all he needed to do was drop the class.

It was a class he didn't
want or need to teach.

You are Serena van der Woodsen.
You deserve a guy...

...who'd move mountains to be with you.
- I've been thinking about that all day.

And you're Blair Waldorf.
Fortitude is your talent. Stay strong.

See you at the ballet.
Gotta make a call.

Thank you for letting me come by. I just...
I wanted to let you know in person...

...that I heard what you said about Ben
and I'm taking your advice.

I'm cutting off all communication
with him.

Glad to hear it.
What changed your mind?

There's this guy that I like and I broke up
with him because Ben wanted me to.

And now this guy, Nate,
he wants to try again.

And I can't say no
to a second chance.

It's just...
It's so hard giving up on Ben.

I mean,
you remember what he was like before.

He was so optimistic, idealistic.

The day he became a teacher
was the happiest day of his life.

- I guess I just... I still see him like that.
- I know.

But he's not that person anymore.
He's a convict...

...who hasn't taken responsibility
for his actions.

He's not gonna be able to move on
until he accepts what happened.

I guess I didn't wanna accept it either.

But I have to.
I have to stop talking to him.

For my own good.

Thank you.

Sometimes you have to let things go
so there's room...

...for better things to come
into your live.

- Well put.
- Your words. "Winner." Chapter three.

- Those were my words, weren't they? Heh.
- Mm-hm.

Thank you.

What are you doing here?

- Step any closer and I'll scream.
- You better believe you will.

If we're going to end this,
we have to start immersion therapy.

What are you talking about?
This is a detox.

- We have to stay away from each other.
- Where's the fun in that?

- Cleanses aren't fun, they're effective.
- Know what's more effective? Excess.

Eat anything too much and you won't
want it again. I hope you did your yoga.

This could go on a while.

No! Miss Blair, no.

- Professor Forrester is downstairs.
- What? Why?

He's here for me as my date.

- A date?
- Yes.

And I must leave now,
to go to the ballet with him.

And not have sex with you.

KGB can't get me to talk,
Chuck Bass has no chance.

- Hey.
- Hey. What are you doing tonight?

I got a hot date
with Grimaldi's and Netflix, why?

Well, I ended it with Colin.

Oh, you did? That's terrible.

No, you were right about him,
so it's actually good.

But DVDs and pizza, really?

- You got a better offer?
- How do you feel about ballet?

Watching or performing?

Meet me at the Lincoln Center fountain
in an hour and we'll discuss both after.

Okay, I'll be there.

Blair. Is Serena here?

No, but the better question is
why are you?

I came to my senses and did
what I should've done weeks ago.

I called the dean, told her
I'm done teaching at Columbia.

- Even managed to find a replacement.
- Just when I had written you off.

Well, not "just."
I kind of wrote you off weeks ago.

Sorry.

But now you're coming with me.

We'll find Serena so you
unfairly genetically-blessed people...

...can be together, and I can escape
the best sex based solely on principle.

- And if anyone asks, you're my date.
- Blair.

Hurry. There's a Bass
on the loose and it's hungry.

Actually...

...so am I.

Vanessa. Wha...?

- How did you know...?
- That you live here?

You check into Ollie's
a lot on Foursquare.

Paid the delivery man
to give me your address...

...and slipping cash
to your super got me in.

Move to a safer neighborhood.

Why would you break
into my apartment?

Because I was looking for something
to prove to everyone...

...that you're the crazy liar
that I know you are.

And well, mission accomplished.

And then I found this.

Please. You don't understand...

I'm sorry I didn't believe you
when you said Serena sent the e-mail.

You were right.
She was trading sex for grades.

But don't worry,
your secret is safe with me.

I'm far more interested
in exposing Serena...

...than some petty class pretender.

Thanks, I guess, but I don't plan
on showing those pictures to anyone.

Why not? You have just what you need
to destroy Serena...

...and vindicate me.

I'm sorry that you got dragged into this
and I wish I could fix it for you...

...but I'm no longer interested
in taking down Serena.

In fact, the only thing that I'm doing
with those photos is deleting them.

You can't be serious.

You have just what you need
to show the world who Serena really is...

...and you just now decide to change?
- I had to make a choice, so I chose.

Fine.

It's better if we put this behind us.

Looks like the chip
on Vanessa's shoulder just went digital.

Hi. Colin, this is Gillian Murphy and
Ethan Stiefel of American Ballet Theatre.

How are you?

- Excuse me. I'll see you inside, yeah?
- Yeah.

Dan Humphrey at the opening night
of the ballet.

Let me guess, Serena's date?

You were last week.

Yeah.

She's probably just using you
to make that Colin guy jealous.

- Just like she used me at Blair's.
- Actually, she and Colin broke up.

Is that so?

- Hi.
- I don't understand.

You brought Colin as your date?
Are you on a sugar high?

No. He's your date, not mine.

Shall we head inside?

Sorry, man.

You shouldn't have thought
you were any different.

I resigned from Columbia.

I don't care about being a teacher,
I care about being with you.

I can't believe you did that.

What I can't believe
is how long it took me to do it.

Blair. We need to talk.

Or, rather, not talk.

What don't you get?
I'm here with a date.

Professor Forrester isn't a date,
he's a distraction. Keep your focus.

Give in to your desires, your needs.
Let's finish this the right way.

Colin isn't a distraction.

- You are.
- What?

He and I made a deal.

We couldn't be together
until the class was over.

But it's so hard so I had to
work out my desire somewhere.

Nice try.

I'll be in a telephone booth
across from the Dress Circle.

See you in five.

Help yourself, sir.

Thank you.

Opening night of the ballet, tuxedos,
champagne. Of course you'd be here.

Just a heads up, Serena's here.
Blair, Chuck, the whole gang.

The person I'm here to see
is Dean Reuther.

She's a big supporter of the ballet.
I assume she's around here somewhere.

Everyone your age is mad at you,
so you're befriending the dean?

Juliet was right about Serena. She's
having an affair with her professor.

- How do you know that?
- I found pictures...

...of Serena and Forrester
at Juliet's apartment.

What? Juliet took photos of Serena?

And now everyone will know the truth.

Vanessa, don't do that.

Why? For Serena?

Sorry, Nate.

Dan, wait.

I think I've waited enough.

Tell me something. How far down the
list did you get before you called me?

You couldn't come with Colin
since he's your professor.

Nate was last week.
What does that make me...

...bachelor number three?
- I didn't know Colin was coming.

I also didn't know
that he quit his job to be with me.

Okay, so, what now?

Why do I even ask?

Thank you all for coming
to tonight's benefit...

...kicking off the winter season
of the New York City Ballet.

Tonight's program is dedicated
to the late George Balanchine...

...a true pioneer
in the world of dance...

...and the founder
of this great organization.

And a good friend of mine.

- Hear, hear.
- Hear, hear.

- Excuse me, Dean Reuther?
- Yes?

- Hi...
- Oh, my.

Vanessa Abrams, is that you?

My apologies, dean.
I haven't seen this one since...

...Exeter. Ha, ha.
- Mm! Ha, ha.

No problem, Miss Sharp.
Have a nice evening.

You too.

- Exeter? Seriously?
- What are you doing here?

- And why were you talking to the dean?
- Maybe because you aren't.

I gave you your camera,
I kept the memory card.

I thought we decided
not to do anything with that.

No, you decided. I've been losing
to Serena for three years...

...watching her get away with anything
and everything, and I'm over it.

Tell me you don't feel the same way.
There's a reason you took these photos.

Yeah, there was,
but I had a change of heart.

If you're doing this because of Nate,
then you should know the truth.

He set you up.

Why do you think he took you
to coffee out of the blue?

He kept you occupied
while I searched your apartment.

And I told Nate about the photos and I'm
pretty sure he's filling in Blair right now.

Face it. At the end of the day,
you're an outsider, just like me.

And if it's ever between one of us
and Serena...

...they will always choose Serena.

Excuse me, Dean Reuther?

I have something
that you need to see.

Put on your toe shoes, Serena.

It's gonna be hard
to dance your way out of this one.

I have proof Serena van der Woodsen
is having an affair with her professor.

Miss Sharp, I am here with friends.

This is the one night of the year where
I put everything else out of my mind...

...and just enjoy myself.

Dean Reuther,
may I please have a moment with you?

Of course you're involved
with this, Miss Waldorf.

I told you and Miss van der Woodsen
to try and stay off my radar.

- Dean Reuther, I'm not lying.
- What's going on?

Nothing that concerns you, professor,
or concerns anyone for the moment.

Actually, it does concern Colin.

He's the one in the photos
with Serena.

Is that why you resigned
your position today?

While it's true that I resigned because
of my involvement with a student...

...it's nobody's business
who that student is.

All that matters is that the responsibility
is mine. I took it, by leaving my post.

That's somewhat admirable, Colin.

And while, usually, it's the professor
in the student-professor relationships...

...that takes responsibility
for any impropriety...

...if that student is under suspicion
of trading sex for grades in the past...

...I think we might need to examine
the situation a little more closely.

- Oh, let me get my camera.
- Here, look as close as you want.

Oh, let me help you with that. Oops.

You don't wanna look at those photos
because it wasn't Serena in them.

It was me.

Blair, you don't have to do this.

Why would I jeopardize
my college career by lying?

So go ahead, fire Colin.
Oh, wait. He already quit.

So let's just go in
and enjoy some jet?, allegro.

If I could say something.

I, for one, can fully corroborate
Miss Waldorf's story.

She was indeed having an affair
with Professor Forrester.

I know this because I keep tabs
on everyone Blair sees and talks to...

...due to my insatiable jealousy.

Though she did state that he didn't
quite satisfy her like I used to.

It's true.

Don't you see?

- They're all protecting each other.
- This is what they always do.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Miss Sharp,
the reality is that with no proof...

...I can't tell who is telling the truth.

Yeah, well, there was proof
until Blair drowned it.

Juliet, I don't like tattletales
much more than I like...

...young women who use their sexuality
to further their academic careers.

So if you will please excuse me,
I'm going to try my best...

...to enjoy this performance, which
hopefully, is a little more graceful...

...than the one I've just seen.
Good evening.

Excuse me, Serena.

You took photos of me?
What the hell were you thinking?

You should've never gotten involved
with Serena, I tried to warn you.

Oh, yeah, you really had my back.

I knew Ben would turn you,
but I never thought you'd do this.

It's not that simple.
I never meant to hurt you.

In this case,
the only person you hurt is yourself...

...because starting now,
you are completely cut off.

As far as I'm concerned,
you are as dead to me as your brother.

Colin.

Now it's our turn.

Your obsession with Serena
has grown tiresome.

Just because you have
delusions of grandeur...

...does not make it okay for you to be
a single, white-trash female.

Nate, this isn't me. You know that.

Why would I ever believe anything
you say again?

You can believe she does her own hair.

You tried to destroy my friendship
with Blair, reputation, academic career.

You failed every time,
and now it's time for you to go.

- I'm trying to.
- He's talking about Columbia.

- You don't belong there anyway.
- If we catch you hanging around...

...there will be consequences.
- And we're really good at payback.

Spotted: One ugly duckling, exiled.

Let's hope she doesn't turn into
a black swan.

I am so sorry about everything.

I had no idea
just how troubled Juliet was.

No, there's no way
you could've seen it.

She didn't like me
before you and I met.

Or she and I met.

She was always jealous
of mine and Nate's past...

...and when she found out
I was seeing you...

It was the last straw.

I just don't understand why she would
hurt you. I mean, you guys are family.

And from what Nate said,
she owes you a lot.

It makes more sense than I'd like it to.

Our family history
is pretty complicated.

But what I'll never get
is how easy it is for some people...

...to throw away everything that's good
just to settle a score.

Ha, ha. Well, hang around
the Upper East Side...

...a little longer
and you'll see it all the time.

I'm willing to take my chances
if you are.

Oh.

When I met you,
I was running away from someone.

I'm sorry that I ran right into you.

I'm sorry you gave up teaching for me.
I feel awful.

To be honest, I was never any good.

- I hate using red pen...
- Stop it.

...and lecturing in front of kids wearing
pajamas is borderline degrading.

- So, what are you gonna do?
- Go get back to doing what I do well...

...being a businessman.
No relationships, no roots, just work.

That's a horrible idea.
You're a good person.

Someone deserves to have you do more
than just put them in a cab.

Good luck, Serena.

Thank you.

Hey, Dan. I don't know
where you are right now...

...but I just got back to my place and
I was wondering if we could meet. I...

Sorry. Um...

Anyway, I'll wait outside for you.

Would it be cheesy of me to say
for however long it takes?

Bye.

Would it be cheesy of me to say...

... for however long it takes? Bye.

End of messages.

Serena. Hey.

Nate, hey. What are you doing here?

Been walking around, trying to clear
my head after everything that happened.

I think it would take more
than just a walk for that.

You know, when, um, we had that fight
at Fashion's Night Out, you were right.

It was...

It was Juliet that made me turn on you
when you got back from Paris.

You know, I can't help but wonder...

...what would've happened
if it weren't for her.

- Maybe things would be different now.
- Different?

The two of us have been through
so much together and I just...

God, I really miss you.

Just give me a second chance.
I won't let you down.

Sometimes in life, we hit a crossroads.

And are forced to choose
which path we want to take.

There's nothing I love more than coming
home with a victory under my belt.

- What do you think our count is?
- For us, a million. The world, zero.

Sometimes I think a takedown
is better than sex.

- Don't get crazy now.
- Well, it's an endorphin rush.

Plus, it makes me think of old times.

I really appreciate
you stepping up tonight.

I wanted to say you owe me,
but for some reason, it didn't feel right.

Wow.

Holding back from a threat. It's almost
like something a friend would do.

Maybe that's because
that's what we are.

Friends.

Well, who knew it would take tons
of hate-sex...

...and a public takedown for us
to finally get here.

I should be going.

Good night, Waldorf.

Same to you, Bass.

And there's no way of knowing...

... if our journey will lead us to pleasure...

... or to pain.

Hi, um, I'm Juliet Sharp.

You don't know me,
but a friend of ours thinks...

...we share mutual enemies
on the Upper East Side...

...and, well, I could really use
some help from the inside right now.

This...

This is so weird.
You probably think I'm crazy.

Heh, uh...

Well, if you are,
I'm sure they made you that way.

Believe me,
I know from firsthand experience.

Uh...

What exactly did you have in mind?

Once we've made our choice,
there's no turning back.

Watch out, Upper East Side.

I think this could be the beginning
of an ugly friendship.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.