Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 4, Episode 18 - The Kids Stay in the Picture - full transcript

As Lily awaits the consequences of her decision, William van der Woodsen, CeCe and Lily's sister, Carol, come into town to support her and be part of a Taschen photo shoot on "modern ...

GOSSIP GIRL: Gossip Girl here,
your one and only source...

...into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

The Archibald charm wasn't
as rusty as you thought...

...unlike the knife in my back.

I like Raina, all right?
And she likes me.

Because of your father,
my wife is dead.

No one knows the truth,
not even Raina.

We kept us a secret because we were
afraid there was something more.

-Go back to Brooklyn.
-Not until I know...

-...there is nothing between us.
-The only mistake was mine...

...when I forged Serena's signature.



He signs over the company now
or you're going to jail.

But not because of you
or anyone else.

I called the DA 10 minutes ago.

Once I go on record with the truth, no
one can hold this against us anymore.

I don't think Lily quite realizes
what she's in for.

Time to circle the wagons, Rufus.

WOMAN:
Where has she been?

GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

[CHATTERING]

The van der Woodsen family is
no stranger to the tabloids.

But this time, it appears the mother
of all scandals surrounds the mother.



Lily Humphrey could be facing
up to 10 years in prison...

...for forgery and obstruction
of justice.

Turn that off. And leave me alone,
Dorota. I've taken to my bed.

I thought hearing someone has life
worse than yours would help.

Well, your job isn't to think,
it's to serve.

If I need your help, I'll ring the bell.

[BELL RINGING]

[SIGHS]

REPORTER [ON RADIO]:
Will Lily Humphrey end up behind bars?

The society queen allegedly forged
her daughter's signature on an affidavit...

...that sent an innocent man to jail
for almost three years.

The victim, Ben Donovan,
has been cleared of all charges.

But it's unlikely Lily Humphrey
will be so lucky.

She's holed up
in her penthouse apartment...

...while her lawyers scramble
to work out a deal...

We are currently outside of the....

I didn't realize you'd stayed.

Good morning to you too.

You okay?

It's surreal.

Everything happening to Lily
is because of my dad...

...and I kind of feel like
it's all my fault.

Look, it probably would've happened
sooner or later anyway.

[PHONE RINGING]

Your dad's been calling all morning.

Hello.

I already told you my answer.

What do you mean
everything could change?

Oddsmakers around town are taking bets
on the length of her prison sentence.

Hey, Miss van der Woodsen,
has your mother heard any news?

[PHONE RINGS]

SERENA [OVER PHONE]: Hey, Chuck.
-How's Lily holding up?

I'm here now.
Aren't you coming for brunch?

Lily thought it would be
complicated enough without me.

My grandmother, stepfather, my father,
who was last seen fleeing the police?

Complicated is an understatement.

How are things with William?

If I cut everyone out of my life who
made a mistake, no one would be left.

On the topic of mistakes,
do you know one I might have made...

...to cause Blair to cut me off?

-You didn't talk after your party?
CHUCK: She wouldn't let me in her room.

When she said she didn't wanna
talk to me...

...I didn't think she meant "ever again."
She's not seeing someone, is she?

Not unless you count Dorota.
She's hasn't left her bed in a week.

She's pulling a Camille? Why?

I think her powerful-woman path hit
a roadblock. That's important to her.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Give Lily my love.

I will, bye.

Come on, Lil, reading this is
not going to make things any easier.

Sometimes it's better to know
what's out there, deal with it...

...move on.

Lily and I were talking about moving on.

What was the topic of
that conversation? Oh, yeah, you.

I'm not going anywhere...

...till I know my children are taken care
of in the event that Lily can't do so.

She's not dying, Will, no thanks to you.
Eric and Serena already have a father.

Stepfather. It's not the same.

CECE:
Please...

...be gentlemen, you two.
We're all here for Lily.

Oh, darling...

...oh, you look lovely in your mug shot.

It was smart to turn yourself in
so your hair was done.

Yes, Mother, that's why I did it. Ahem.

Well, fortunately,
in a few short hours...

...I will be immortalized in
a much more dignified fashion.

The Taschen book, that's, uh, today?

It certainly is. Modern Royalty.

I just love the title.

-Hey, Mom, Dad.
-Hey, hi, sweetheart.

Serena, darling, we were just talking
about the portrait.

How can you do a book on modern
royalty without me and my girls?

All of my girls.

What is that supposed to mean?

Listen, thank you for
letting me hide out here.

I just needed a time out from my mom,
my grandma and my dad...

...and your dad.

Yeah, I mean, of course,
my house is your safe house.

I'm surprised Serena didn't call
and ask you to be backup.

She did, but I figured
I'd dodge that war.

Hey, does William Carlos Williams
go under W or C?

Hmm. First time I've ever seen you pass up
a chance to save Serena.

And you're alphabetizing? What's up?

[DAN SIGHS]

You swear not to tell anyone,
or laugh?

Uh, I'll take your secret to my grave,
but laughter...

...is an uncontrollable
bodily response.

[DAN SIGHS]

I kissed Blair Waldorf.

[CHUCKLES]

Wow. I didn't see that coming.

Neither did I. I mean, it was just once,
and it was weird.

I would expect so, yes.

But weird, good?

Like, "Wow, it's weird,
this is such a good kiss."

Or weird, bad?
Like, you know, just, "Wow, weird."

Uh, she didn't give you any indication
at the time?

No. No, she just walked away...

...stunned, left me standing there
in her foyer.

-Mysterious.
-I know, right?

I did what I thought was polite,
called her the next day.

It's been almost a week,
haven't heard back.

Wait, wait. Why do you care so much?

Do you--? Do you like her?

What? No, no, no, I don't like her.
Of course not.

Not at all, I'm just curious.

And, you know, she--
I mean, she does smells nice.

Oh, you are ass-backwards crushing
on Blair Waldorf.

[BELL RINGING]

Take that away, Dorota.

I can't eat.

I only rang to tell you
to call the doctor.

I think I have consumption.

Consumption not since 19th century.

-They have vaccine.
-Then I'm dying from malaise.

I know everything has gone wrong
since you lost focus on work.

But Carmela on Sopranos didn't get
big break till she was 40.

This isn't about work or time, Dorota.
It's about the truth.

Something happened recently
that revealed my future.

I've been hiding ever since.
I don't want to deal with it.

[PHONE RINGING]

Epperly. What do you want?

I'm styling photo shoots
for New York portions...

-...of Taschen's book.
-I know all about it. Serena's in it.

My assistant left to work for William
and Kate's wedding photographer.

I could really use your help.

Me? After our previous experience?

Aw, you're a natural fit
for something like this.

What with your impeccable taste
and masterful way of giving orders.

Um, it'll be hard to clear my schedule.

Meet me in an hour?
I'll text you the address.

You're right, Dorota.
Maybe I should refocus on work.

Feelings and revelations
will just have to wait.

She accepted the job,
just like you knew she would.

But, uh, why go to these lengths,
if I may ask?

Someone told me something
that made me want my own legacy...

...not my father's.

I can't convince Blair of her place in it
until she's feeling powerful again.

Well, I hope it works out for you.

Ever since I came back from Bali,
I'm a sucker for romance.

I can't believe you asked Carol here
without clearing it with me first.

What's to ask? You're her sister.
And besides, I knew you'd say no.

For a good reason, though.
Carol turned her back on Lily.

I would say there's blame on both sides.
But Rufus does make a point for once.

Having Carol here would
be stressful for Lily.

SERENA:
What could be more stressful?

She hasn't walked through the door
and you're at each other's throats.

I wouldn't recognize you guys
if it were any other way.

Hi, sis. I always knew your house
of cards would collapse eventually...

...but I never dreamed
you'd actually wind up behind bars. Huh?

Ah, welcome, Carol.

And hey, Mom.

Darling.

And Lily's husbands.

-One and five.
-Five.

-And Serena.
-Hi, Aunt Carol, good to see you.

Your mom had long hair just like yours
when she was crashing on tour buses...

...before she was getting
Brazilian Blowouts. Right, Rufus?

Love the loafers. Are those Tod's?

Carol, some of us actually grew up.

[PHONE RINGING]

I'll get it.

So you're here for
the Rhodes women portrait?

Maybe you can help pick a theme.
I was thinking La Dolce Vita.

Does it have to be a movie?
We could do Chicago.

You can play Roxie Hart,
because she was in jail. Ha, ha.

You think this photo's frivolous, but
it's an important honor for our family.

I'm not the one who ruined
this family's honor.

It wasn't your lawyer,
it was someone from the book.

They canceled the portrait
because of the scandal. I'm sorry, Mom.

GOSSIP GIRL: Lily, looks like instead of
being on the pages...

...you're about to have
the book thrown at you.

Do you mind hailing me a cab?
Thank you.

Hey, Serena?

Sorry, my family's not talking
to the press.

Oh, well, then I guess I'm not either...

...because technically,
I am your family.

You're wondering how you could be related
to someone so socially awkward. Um....

-But I'm your cousin.
-Charlie? Oh, my God, Charlotte.

Oh, my gosh.
Your mom didn't tell me you're here.

That's because she doesn't know.

Um, can we go somewhere and talk?

Yeah, of course, come on.

Boys, William may have a solution.

Imagine that.

-I know Benedikt Taschen.
-Of course you do.

I'd call him, see if I can get the ladies
back in the book.

Eric, what do you say?

Uh, l-- I think that Mom would
really like that.

Fine. Might as well try.

Great.

Thanks.

I think the last time I saw you
I was six.

You met up with us in the Keys,
on Claus' boat.

I think they call that a yacht.

Didn't it have an elevator in it?

Which was enough to make your mom
decide to never let you see us again.

She thinks your world's toxic.

If I'm exposed, I'll catch it.

We may not be perfect, but comparing
us to the plague is a little extreme.

So you and your brother didn't both
end up going to a mental institution?

And your dad didn't give your mom
fake cancer?

And your mom didn't send
an innocent man to prison...

...just to get you back
into private school?

When you put it that way,
we should be quarantined.

No. I'm sorry. That's my mom talking.

I've grown up so alone, that I....

I wanted to see what she's been
hiding me from all these years.

Okay. I'm not letting you go home
until you spend a day with me.

Let me show you this world
and you can decide what you think of it.

We'll start with Barneys and then
work our way back to Intermix.

CAROL:
I'm sorry, Lil.

I didn't realize how important
this portrait was to you.

-What are you looking at?
-I figured if I can't take a new photo...

...I could distract myself
with old ones, that's all.

Remember that?

My God.

We were gonna audition
to be Solid Gold Dancers.

Then we went looking for halter tops...

...that looked like the girl
in the "Cherry Pie" video.

And all we could find
were these gold unitards.

Oh, how did our dance go?
It was like--

-This is our audition.
-Right, right.

-Imagine, in halter tops. Okay.
-No.

You know what, who needs Taschen
when we can take our own family photo?

But we need the unitards.

-Yes. Okay.
-Let's go. Let's go. Yes.

Kate Orth is being shot
with her six maiden nieces...

...and Chuck Bass will be shot
by himself.

All by himself? He has an uncle.

Nope. Chuck Bass is representing
his family all alone.

The Suttons are next. They want to
be shot with their English setters.

Those setters are better-Iooking
than the Suttons.

They love each other anyway.

Proving that everyone
has their soul mate.

Yeah. Did you join a cult in Bali?

I know you believe in true love too.

Well, I did recently have a moment
of perspective myself...

...but I didn't have to go
to an ashram to have it.

-What happened?
-I kissed someone.

It was truly a life-changing experience.

-Do tell.
-I just did.

That was it. But the point is,
that one kiss changed me.

Fut-the-wuck is she doing here?

How dare you show your face here.

Well, hello to you too, Blair.

I'm a camera assistant.
The job was posted at NYU.

I didn't know Serena's family was
coming until I arrived. I'm not leaving.

[SIGHS]

CHARLOTTE:
Oh, my God.

That dress is incredible.
It would look great on you.

Uh, yeah, except for it costs as much as
all the stuff we got today put together.

I can't accept that.

Well, you can accept this.

It's a family heirloom...

...so it's just as much yours
as it is mine anyway.

Serena. Thank you...

...for everything.

Oh, my God.
I can't believe we found them.

You might be Upper East Side blue
blood and I might be Florida bohemian...

...but at bottom, the Rhodes sisters
are still badasses from the valley.

[PHONE RINGS]

Rufus. Yeah, we found leg warmers.

-No, I'm not drunk. Although--
-Yes.

Oh, that's wonderful, you're kidding.

Okay, we'll be right home.

-The photo shoot's back on.
-Oh.

Should we go buy something
for everyone?

Mom in a unitard.

Awesome.

-Ha, ha.
-I love it.

-Serena.
-Charlie?

I can explain.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey, Chuck. What are you doing here?

May I come in?

Yeah.

I've learned some information
about my past...

...that's making me
reconsider my future.

My future with Blair.

However, my intel indicates
that she's seeing someone else.

What's that gotta do with me?

It could be someone at W.
Didn't you work there?

Uh, yeah, for one day.

Did you notice her talking to anyone?

Whoever she kissed
seems to have had an effect.

"Life-changing"
were the words she used.

A life-changing kiss might not be
something you want to mess with.

What are you trying to say?

With you, she was caught up
in schemes and takedowns.

That's not really her.

She's intelligent, intuitive, you know.

She weeps when she watches
Nights of Cabiria.

How do you know that?

Uh, Serena told me. But, listen,
the point is, if Blair's happy...

...maybe you should let her be.

You care more about Blair's happiness
than I knew.

Thank you for your time.

Epperly? I found out who Blair kissed.

I'm going to need one more favor.

I've worked hard to keep you
away from this world.

I didn't wanted you obsessed
with clothes, clubbing...

-...and getting your picture taken.
-That's not fair.

Fair is irrelevant. I'm your mother.
I make the rules. You need to trust me.

I have never...

...lied to you.

I want you to return everything
that you bought...

...and meet me back at my hotel.

Uh, necklace?

For God's sake, it's a necklace,
not a heroin needle.

We were just hanging out.

You bought her a thousand dollars
worth of clothes. That's obscene.

We are leaving. I'm just here
to say goodbye to Mother.

I just got your message.

I can't believe you won't
come upstairs.

Carol, please.
Serena didn't mean any harm.

You and I were having fun together.
William and Rufus got the photo shoot.

At least stay for that.

You think it's okay for your kids to have
superficial values, but I left this life...

...to raise Charlie in the real world.
I am not letting you seduce her.

Great. Then I hope you won't mind
if I don't stay and watch you go.

-Hey, are you okay?
-Oh, yes, I'm fine, sweetheart.

You don't have to come up.

Funny. Wanting nothing to do
with this superficial world...

...hasn't deterred you
from taking my money.

You got what you paid for, Mother.

I showed up, I was as supportive
as I possibly could be...

...and now I'm leaving.

I send you a check every month.

You will stay for this photo.

That wasn't part of the deal.

Now I'm going to my hotel to pack.

Charlie and I are gonna take
the next plane out.

I got a call that I'm being included
in the Modern Royalty book.

Hmm. No offense, but why?

None taken, because
that was my first thought also.

I guess there's some coup d'etat
section for up-and-comers.

Yeah, that sounds totally made-up.

Um, Blair is working the photo shoot.
She called to confirm my mom's time.

Maybe she got you in?

Why? To raise my social status
so I'll be a suitable suitor?

Actually, that sounds completely
like her.

And you would usually find that
repellent. Except you don't...

...because you like her.

Does Serena know?

It was one kiss.
There's nothing to know, yet.

Just be careful--

[STAMMERING]

And wear a nice suit. I have to go.

Hello? Yeah, this is Eric.

What? No, I didn't know I was expected
at the photo shoot.

-You're late.
-And you're glowing.

Why make me bring overnight bag,
including La Perlas?

Because...

...I'm going to tell that certain someone
my true feelings tonight.

If things go as I hope, I don't want
to be in last year's Chantelle.

I don't think Dan Humphrey
will know difference.

Dan Humphrey?
What are you talking about?

The reason you take to bed.

Shame from emotional affair
with lowly boy.

It's Lonely Boy, and it wasn't an affair,
just a kiss.

Which made me see how much
I wished it was with Chuck.

Mr. Chuck?
But your power play go kaput.

Thank you for reminding me.

I wanted to realize my potential before
joining forces with a powerful man.

But Chuck has matured...

...past games and fatwas.

I believe we can build
our futures together.

And if Chuck is destined to be
my prince, why kiss any more toads?

Humphrey more Labrador than toad.

Who cares what beast
Dan Humphrey is?

Chuck is on his way,
I'm going to tell him I'm ready.

It's time.

GOSSIP GIRL:
They say that fortune favors the bold.

Thanks.

Serena?

Look, I'm sorry I left
without saying goodbye.

But as much fun as I had,
my mom is right.

She sacrificed a lot to raise me
the way she thought was best.

I have to respect that.

Well, she may not have sacrificed
as much as you think.

GOSSIP GIRL:
But watch out for the boldface lies...

...that come with fortune's favors.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

The book people told me
I had to come down here ASAP.

Oh, are you Eric van der Woodsen?

We need to start setting up
for you and your sister.

And are you Dr. van der Woodsen?

-No. What's going on?
-Uh, the revised portrait concept...

...is William van der Woodsen
and his children.

The whole point was
to do this for my mom.

The point for Will is to do something
for himself.

We have to fix this. You find William.
I'll make sure that Lily's occupied.

And you, say absolutely nothing
to anybody until I tell you.

-Hey.
-Hey.

Been looking everywhere for you.
Your office said you were--

I needed some time to think.

About what? What'd your dad say?

It wasn't my dad. It was the people
doing the Modern Royalty book.

They were calling for the same reason
he was. They want us in the book.

And you said no, of course.

Yes. But then they asked
if I didn't want to pose with my father...

...why not take it with my mother?

Oh.

Having to say it out loud
this morning...

...made me realize,
if I'm estranged from my dad...

...I really have no one.

Blair. Hey.

Uh, I wanted to talk you
but I see you got your hands full.

The Landsburys had
too much licorice. What?

I'm here to get my photo taken.

Uh....

For the up-and-comers section?

This isn't a shoot for
a high-school yearbook.

There is no up-and-comers section...

...and even if there were, let's face it,
you still wouldn't make the cut.

Ha, ha. Tell me you didn't do this
to humiliate me.

What? No. I don't even know
what this is.

Epperly told me I was in this shoot. You
didn't have anything to do with that?

No. And I don't know
why Epperly would--

Oh, God.

It's Chuck.

He knows.

Ah.

[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

[CHUCKLES]

Aw, you are so beautiful.
Thank you for being here.

Of course.

We've been through
so much together...

...and I've let you down
so many times...

...and here you are.

Mom, don't start to cry right now.
You'll ruin your makeup.

Stop.

-What have you done with my daughter?
-What are you talking about?

Charlie never made it to the hotel.
She doesn't know the city.

She's out there somewhere on her own.
I knew it.

One day with you and she's run away.
Not a coincidence.

-Watch how you talk to my daughter.
-She didn't run away because of me.

She ran away because
I told her the truth about you.

You go around acting
like we're monsters...

...yet you take money from Grandma
every month.

Is that true?

I'm sorry, Mom.
I overheard them earlier.

The only reason she came is
because Grandma paid her to.

I'll call Charlie now
and see if she'll tell me where she is.

Of course Mother paid you to be here.

I am so foolish to think...

...that you would have come
because you cared.

Lily....

This was all you?
You had Epperly hire me...

-...call Dan and tell him he was--
-Up-and-comer? What's your problem?

You're trying to humiliate him?

I don't care about him. I just wanted you
to see he's not part of this world.

I know you kissed him.

So?

You and I are not dating.

-And you kissed a lot of people.
-You're not supposed to kiss him.

He's Humdrum Humphrey.
Epperly told me it was life-changing.

Because it made me realize
I wanted to be with you.

Dan and I both know it meant nothing.
Less than nothing. Right?

Yeah, that's right.

I was gonna tell you about it tonight.

But that would have been
a huge mistake.

Dan Humphrey may not be royalty,
but at least he's not a child.

Hey.

Lily in makeup yet?

We know you switched the photo
from Rhodes to van der Woodsen.

-I don't know what you're talking about.
-Sure you don't. But let me tell you...

...a picture with you and your kids
doesn't make you look like a real father.

Back off, Rufus.

-There's no photo without my mom.
-Of course there isn't.

I wouldn't cut your mother out.

It's over, Will.
Just fix it before Lily finds out.

Find out about what?

Finds out that, um....
That I am not happy with my hair.

-It's too flat.
-Mother, your hair is enormous.

-Ready for the van der Woodsen photo.
-It's the Rhodes photo, and we're here.

Hey, I couldn't find Charlie.

What's going on?

-Tell them what you did.
-No, because I didn't do it.

Would everybody please take
their places?

Does anyone want to be in this picture?
Or in this family?

I do.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Cinderella finally showed up at the ball.

Too bad it was canceled.

Thank God. Are you all right?
You had me worried sick.

-I'm fine.
-This is only supposed to be...

...William van der Woodsen
and his two children.

-What? Since when?
-I'm sorry, Lily.

The book never reinstated you.
Will did this instead.

-Dad?
-What's the point of telling the truth...

...if you're not gonna
believe me anyway?

I'm gonna go get some air.

This looks like the dress Diana wore
the day after she became princess.

It is.

I wanted you to wear it
in the photo with me.

I had no idea I could just ask.

It's not too late.

You don't have to be powerful
on your own first.

We can build our futures together.

The saddest part is...

...that I'd come to
the same conclusion.

But now that I know I'm ready,
I realize you're not.

And I thought after everything
you went through...

...Prague, Eva, Russell...

...that maybe you'd changed.
But who was I kidding?

-Don't say that.
-You have years...

...before you're capable
of a real relationship.

If you ever will be.

I'm sorry, Chuck.

[GROANS]

Lily, I did not sabotage the photo shoot.
I hope that you realize that.

Oh.

I'm not even sure I care if you did.

I mean, let's face it.

Me, CeCe and Carol
all in the same room?

-The night was doomed to be apocalyptic.
-Ha, ha.

But the fact that my rebel sister
has been judging me all these years...

...when she was taking money
from my mother...

...that's a whole new spin.

Remember when she moved to Maui,
Dallas, and then downtown Detroit?

[CHUCKLES]

Anywhere your mother wouldn't go.

Now she lives on a houseboat.

And you live in a penthouse.

Yeah, for now.

And then it's the big house.

-Lily.
-Tonight was supposed to be...

...a way to forget that.

Listen, nobody knows
what your sentence will be.

And your family is here for you.

Even if they're screwed up
and dance in silver leotards.

Ha-ha-ha. Unitards. And they were gold.
Thank you, William, you're right.

I just spoke to Julia Chaplin
and found out that...

...Benedikt Taschen was traveling
and never got your message.

The photo was the editor's idea
and William had nothing to do with it.

Well, if that's an apology, Rufus...

...I accept.

Come on.

Let's, uh, go get our family
and go home.

-I had no idea.
-I know.

-Nice suit, though.
-Ha, ha. Thanks.

Uh, what did you want to talk to me
about earlier?

That kiss meant nothing to me,
like it did to you.

-Oh. Right.
-Social experiment gone wrong.

A princess kissing a Labrador.

I appreciate you
not calling me a toad.

Uh, Blair, your prince is out there
waiting for you.

It might not be me or Chuck,
but he's out there.

Your princess is too.
If you're ready for her.

All the years all you did
was lie to me.

I made some mistakes,
but I was trying to protect you.

How? By secretly taking money?

By making me feel horrible
about who my relatives were?

I'm not 8, Mom. I'm 18.
I don't need to be protected.

I only wanted what was best for you.

You mean what's best for you.

Well, that ends tonight.

Charlie, don't.

[SIGHS]

So epic betrayal by Mom...

...aborted photo shoot,
no place to sleep.

What would
Serena van der Woodsen do?

The salted caramel gelato
at II Laboratorio can end wars.

CHARLOTTE: Take me there.
-Did someone say gelato?

Blair, this is my cousin,
Charlie Rhodes.

-Hi.
-The Blair? I'm honored.

And I'm craving vanilla pecan
and a girls' night. Let's get out of here.

Come on.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Poor lost prince.

What's the point of having a kingdom
if you have to reign alone?

[SIGHS]

Still no word on the sentencing?

Uh, no, not yet. Um....

Did you know that Martha Stewart
taught crafts in prison?

The flight's in a few hours.

I hope we hear by then.

And I hope that Charlie speaks to me
on the plane.

Serena said they had a great girls' night.

Probably just what she needed
in light of, you know...

...your decades of massive hypocrisy.
Ahem.

[LILY CHUCKLES]

I so wanted you to think
I was different...

...that I'd gotten out.

When you left L.A., I had....

I had no one.

And then one day I was 24,
living out of my car...

...buying a pregnancy test
at that drugstore up on Laurel.

Everything changed.

I did not want Mom's help...

...but it wasn't about me anymore.

-Why didn't you tell me?
-And have you find out I failed?

After you rejected me...

...and everything I stood for? No way.

I did not reject you.

All I ever wanted was your approval.

Well, you got it now.

Turning yourself in,
not giving a damn what people think?

That's my Lily.

[SIGHS]

Will you come visit me in prison?

I will smuggle you pot brownies.

[CAROL CHUCKLES AND LILY SIGHS]

So have you thought about what
you're going to say to your mom yet?

I figured it would just kind of
come to me in the moment.

-She's never gonna let me do it.
-What is this "let"? You're an adult.

You make your own decisions, and you
say that you hope that she supports you.

I'm starting to realize
why you're so scary to her.

[PHONE RINGING]

-You wanna get that?
-No.

So I know you don't want
to hear from me...

...but I had to share.

Dan Humphrey kissed Blair Waldorf.

You can confront them, they'll deny it.
But it's true. I overheard them myself.

If I was lying just to mess with you,
it wouldn't be as unbelievable as this.

I'm surprised Rufus is letting you
man the brunch table.

He's very territorial about his waffles.

Your stepfather and I have come
to an understanding.

Besides, he's out on a mission
right now.

I am intrigued and proud of
both of you.

I know you're making this work
for my sake.

And here I thought
you were doing it for me.

Hey, Mom.

[IN UNISON]
Hi, sweetheart.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

How was the sleepover?

It was good.

It was so good...

...that, um, if it's okay with you, Aunt Lily,
I'd like to stay.

In Serena's old room.

Catch up with the family,
make up for lost time.

-I think that's great, Charlie.
-Charlie, that's a mistake.

What happened wasn't so long ago.

-You're not ready for this.
-I am.

Because of you, I know who I am.

And nothing's gonna change that.

And thanks for supporting me.

Why don't I show you your new room?

My God, I suck at that.

You'll get better with practice.

What? She's gonna be fine.
We'll take good care of her.

You don't understand.

A few months ago
she left college, because--

What's going on, Carol?

Just promise me you will make sure
someone watches her closely. Okay?

I promise.

Hey, you're awake.

I'm not sure if I ever fell asleep.

You, uh, still thinking about your mom?

Yes...

...but not for the reason you think.

My dad always said
she never tried to contact us.

But I can't help but wonder...

...since he lied about
so much other stuff--

Maybe he lied about her too?

You could find out for sure, you know.

You could look for her.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Walking down the primrose path...

...you risk finding hell
instead of happily ever after.

Save me a waffle. But first--

We have a surprise.

-You're socializing with my mother?
-That is surprising.

Rufus has gathered the family,
darling.

The whole family.
We are having a family photo.

Lily, I assume you know
Laurie Simmons?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Hi. Uh, this is a family portrait, so
I'm assuming you are Cousin Charlie?

-Yeah, hi. You're Dan.
-Yeah.

-How long are you gonna be here?
-Um....

Depends, I guess.

Okay, I'm good to go
if everyone else is.

CeCe, come on.
You're standing next to me.

Oh. How about if I'm in the middle
between you and William?

All right.

[PHONE RINGING]

RUFUS:
Lily, you want me to--?

Oh, that's all right.

Just let it ring.

I want, uh, my family photo
to capture this moment.

That's my Lily.

Okay, say cheese.

GOSSIP GIRL:
As with any journey...

...who you travel with can be
more important than your destination.

BLAIR: Why does love have to be
so hard, Dorota?

All I ever wanted was a simple fairy tale.
Kate Middleton has it.

And I have much shinier hair.

Although she does have
a better assortment of hats.

Don't despair, Miss Blair.

Destiny full of surprises.

GOSSIP GIRL: You never know who
you'll encounter along the way.

Who knows? Maybe fairy tales
come true after all.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.

[English - US - SDH]