Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 4, Episode 11 - The Townie - full transcript

Gossip Girl here,
your one and only source...

...into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

My mom's filing for divorce.

I'd love the chance to talk to her
so she can see how much I've changed.

- I should hear your father out.
- Nice seeing your mother after all this.

- Yeah.
- Just in time too, right?

- Just in time for what?
- Your father's parole.

Serena and Colin are over.
Do not jeopardize her future.

If only he were the only teacher
Serena had a relationship with.

- Serena's in the hospital.
- Oh, my God, you drugged her?

- That was not part of the plan.
- This isn't just about you anymore.



I was wondering if you wanted
to discuss a place for her recovery.

- Ostroff Center.
- Your daughter wakes up alone...

...drugged in an empty motel room
and you just have her committed.

Juliet may have been behind
Serena's overdose.

What do you say we find that bitch
and get us a little frontier justice?

Where has she been?

And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

Spotted: Dan and Blair...

...exiting Sant Ambroeus
with espresso doppio for two.

But we hear it's not the caffeine
that's got them talking...

...a mile a minute, it's a mission.



Juliet dressed up like Serena
at Saints and Sinners...

...to destroy her relationship
with me and Nate.

And enlist Vanessa and Jenny
to mess with me.

Which is devious and pathetic,
but just another Saturday night.

Can't show up at a ball
and not expect...

...at least one doppelganger
to try and impersonate you.

According to Jenny, Juliet posted
a photo of herself as Serena doing coke.

For that she will be judged
by a higher power. But we've...

- We've seen worse.
- I was gonna say done worse. But yes.

Okay, but then Serena wakes up
in a motel room after almost OD'ing.

That is where the Juliet Express
goes off the rails...

...and heads straight for Crazytown.

The next thing we know...

...Serena wakes up,
insists she didn't go on a bender.

Photo shows up online,
she starts to doubt herself...

...checks herself into The Ostroff.
Which brings us to the present.

The thing we need to figure out is why.
I mean, Colin, Nate, Hamilton House.

None of that explains
taking things so far.

Well, as someone well acquainted
with the darker human emotions...

...let me offer my theory.

There is only one motive powerful enough
to fuel a gaslighting like this...

...and that is retribution.
- Retribution for what?

I know I've already said this,
but I'm really proud of you...

...and so is Mom.

Is that why she's here
to tell me herself?

Do I even wanna know where she is?

She and Chuck are meeting with
a reporter from The Post this morning.

Some profile on Bass Industries.

The Post. They have such
award-winning business coverage.

You detect a whiff
of Eau de Damage Control.

Mom's classic scent.

Brings back the fondest memories
of childhood.

Way ahead of you. When I confronted her,
she didn't deny it.

Bass Industries
is a family-run company.

Like it or not, what the family does
affects what people think about it.

I know I've put her
in a tough position.

But please promise me
that you'll try to keep her honest...

...about where I am
and what's going on.

No stories about Aunt Carol's in Miami
like when you were here.

I am on it. Although that Marlins jersey
Bart Bass bought me...

...that year for Christmas
would look great on you.

- Serena. Eric.
- Hey.

So have you made a decision?

What do you mean, no visitors?
I don't think you realize who we are.

Who she thinks she is is more like.
Look, I'm family. I'm Serena's brother.

Step-brother,
which I try to put out of my mind...

...seeing as we dated...

Humphrey, they treat people in here
for less serious complexes than that.

Do you wanna get committed?
I'll just call her.

- I'm sure that we're on the list.
- There is no list.

Her phone is locked away
in a drawer somewhere.

Serena's doctor recommended she start
her treatment with 72 hours no contact.

- That includes me, my mom, you guys.
- Serena doesn't need to be here.

- Juliet was behind everything.
- We have some questions for her.

Whatever series of events
got her in the door, she's here.

She's getting the help
she's probably needed for a long time...

...so whatever you're up to,
you need do it without Serena.

Someone's gonna have
a busy holiday season.

Unfortunately, they're all followed up
by a polite phone call...

...asking if your father will be attending.
- Oh.

Or in the case of Lily's holiday party
for Bass Industries...

...a handwritten note
saying she hopes I understand.

Wow. I guess I thought the mean girls
got a little nicer...

...once they grew up
and had kids of their own.

- Quite the opposite, I'm afraid.
- Yeah.

But no party is more important
than family.

Yeah. About that.

Nate, what is it?

I really appreciate everything
you've been doing for Dad.

I wanted to make sure
he deserved the chance.

I called our manager,
asked if Dad had been in contact...

...made any plans
for when he got out.

Tell me he didn't book
a flight to the Caribbean.

No. But he did ask about
leasing a house outside the city.

Why wasn't I told about this?

He wanted to tell you,
Dad begged him not to say anything.

He said you'd find out soon enough.
It was supposed to be a surprise.

I wish I was surprised.

He uses our address to get parole,
then uses my money to get his own place.

- Same old Howard.
- I'm sorry, Mom.

I understand if you don't wanna
go through with this.

I really thought he had changed.

So did I.

I'll call the lawyers.

I got you into this mess.
I'll go to Dad, I'll tell him.

We can't do nothing for three days.

- Who knows how far Juliet could get?
- I think we gotta tell my dad and Lily.

What Juliet did with these pills
is against the law.

Police and parents.
Of course that's your plan, Humphrey.

We could sneak in to see Serena.

That receptionist got a look at me,
but maybe with a wig?

That's your plan?
Disguises and accents?

I never said anything about accents.

- Can you do any?
- No, look. Eric is right.

We need to leave Serena out of this
and find Juliet on our own.

Colin is her cousin.

We could track him down at whatever
economic summit he's at this week.

Nate dated her.

My minions knew her for a whole year
before we showed up.

Or...

There is someone who seems
to know everything about everyone.

Besides me, who?

Gossip Girl?
She's not a Ouija board, Humphrey.

You can't ask "Where's Juliet?"
and expect her...

...to point you in the direction.
- Maybe you can. Think about it.

You and Serena are her people,
not Juliet.

Serena could've been hurt.
I'm sure she's furious...

...that Juliet sent in that fake photo.
Does she even know that it's fake?

Hey, Juliet. Good to see you.
It's been a while.

Yeah, thanks. It's good to be home.

What if she doesn't respond
and all we're doing is wasting time?

Our time is not that valuable.
Until we know where Juliet is...

...we don't know if we need to charter
a jet, or if your Metro Card will suffice.

- It's from her.
- Open it.

Well, I guess we have our mission.

Buckle up, kids.

You up for a road trip?

Looks like this
unholy alliance is hitting the road.

Serena, help me understand.

Are you upset because of what you did,
or because you can't remember it?

Both and neither.

If you saw a photo of yourself
on the Internet doing cocaine...

...what would you think?

I wouldn't know what to think.

- I would never do that.
- Exactly.

But with me I can't be too sure.

I may not remember kissing Dan and Nate
or crossing Blair, but...

You know, this wouldn't be
the first time...

...that I've been with two guys
in one night...

...or betrayed my best friend.

- Nate.
- That never happens.

So romantic.

I knew there was something. Get out.

Things had gotten so out of control...

...I didn't know how to
pull them back anymore.

- What's happening? You okay?
- We have to go.

We can't leave him.

We can get arrested.

So I left town, alone.

To Cornwall, Connecticut.
To try to start over.

Is the pedal to the metal?

Because I swear if I shoved my feet
through the floor I could run faster.

At least there's no radio.

I'm spared your taste in music.
We were supposed to turn there.

I'd tell you to stop being such a
backseat driver, but you don't drive.

I offered to get a car service.
Professional driver, comfortable seats.

- Champagne.
- We're on a mission here.

We need to be able to move at any moment,
tail people, speed if necessary.

Speed? Please.

And as for tailing someone,
a stretch Hummer with a hot tub...

...would be more inconspicuous.

First, my dad swapped a '69 Les Paul
for this car. It's a collector's item.

Second, it was this or the
Lincoln Hawk van which has graphics.

Fine. We should almost be there.

Let me just consult the GPS.
Oh, wait, that's me.

No, but for real,
Cornice should be just up here.

- Thank you so much for your time.
- Enjoy your holiday.

We really appreciate
The Post's interest in the company.

Bye.

Oh, my God, that was punishing.

I think my face actually hurts
from smiling so much.

- Drink?
- Please.

It's barely afternoon,
but we've earned it.

Serena only came up once.

Yes, and I kept my promise to Eric
to tell the truth.

She is exhausted. I know I am.

I think we both killed it.

You're talking about how proud you are
of the work I've done.

You're saying what a great job
I've done leading.

- Well, I meant what I said.
- So do I.

Mm.

There was that question of when I might
take back the reins of Bass Industries.

You flinched
when she asked you about it.

Well, I didn't see
that it was any of her business.

It's a long ways away,
and it was off-topic.

I will want it back at some point.
You know, right?

Of course. It was never my intention
to be more than a custodian...

...overseeing the board
until you're ready to do it yourself.

I have to get ready for this party.

And the, uh, caterers are gonna be here
any moment to set up, so...

- I'll see you tonight.
- Oh. Mwah.

It's a little early in the day for that,
don't you think?

- Things not go well?
- No, actually, the interview was, um, fine.

If this is Juliet's house,
then she is even freakier than we thought.

Who pretends to be poor?

Wait, I'm not sure what's supposed
to happen now.

If she is really in there,
what's our plan?

What are we gonna do, we're just gonna
march up to her and pull her hair?

For starters.

- Take it off.
- Yeah, take it off.

Oh. At least he's owning it.

Juliet wouldn't be at a party like this,
let alone host it.

I don't think this is her house.

Well, Gossip Girl didn't say it was.

So don't just look for Juliet.

- Look for clues.
- Body shots!

Or someone who has one.

Damien Dalgaard?

I don't understand.
What changed her mind?

I found out about the
Rhinebeck house, Dad.

You couldn't wait two weeks
before you spend her money?

That's what you think?

Nate, your mom and I vacationed
at that place when we were first married.

She said it was her dream house.
It was for lease, I thought...

...wouldn't it be great
if we could get out of the city?

Spend some time reconnecting,
away from all our so-called friends.

- Dad, I'm sorry. I might've...
- Jumped to conclusions?

- Pretty quickly too.
- You're right.

I guess this transition's
gonna be harder than we thought.

I'll talk to Mom.

Don't bother.

You're not the only one who assumed
I was incapable of doing something nice.

I was kidding myself.

Two of us alone in the country?

Two of us together at all?

It's been over for a long time.

What does that mean
when you get out?

- If you don't come home, you gonna...?
- A halfway house? Yes, I am.

- Dad...
- Nate.

Coming off of two years behind bars...

...a halfway house
sounds pretty good to me.

If you wanna stick around,
I got TV privileges and the game is on.

Sure. Okay.

How's your sister?

She's good. She's been living in Hudson.

I banished her.

Yeah, but it's been for the best.
Listen, we're not, uh, here for a reunion.

Yeah, me neither. I'm working.

The Connecticut burbs
do big business over the holidays.

College kids come home,
school's always reliable.

- School?
- Yeah, Knightley.

- I went there.
- Wait. Boarding school?

Where you met Serena?

I didn't make the connection,
but of course.

When Serena ran away,
she went to Knightley, in Cornwall.

- So do you know Juliet Sharp?
- I do. I saw her in the city a week ago.

But whatever this is,
I'm not getting involved.

If you sold drugs to Juliet,
then you already are.

It was bad.
Serena ended up in the hospital.

And she says
she didn't do it to herself.

- Is she okay?
- She will be.

Juliet made a pretty big buy, all right?
She bought coke, pills, even some ether.

I assumed she was throwing a party for
those sorority girls at whatever house.

- Ether?
- It's like a turn-of-the-century roofie.

Serena goes to school with Damien,
Damien sells drugs to Juliet.

What's the connection between
Juliet and Serena?

You know what? Why don't we find
her address and go ask her ourselves?

This is where I first met Juliet.
She's a townie.

- Whoa, watch where you're going.
- Uh, hello?

What's the deal with the can opener?

It's a car. From Britain. It's not weird.

I told him we should park
away from the house...

...so no one would see us getting in it.

Shotgun, by the way.

Whoo!

Better step on it, Juliet.

Because your clean getaway
just got very messy.

Let the sugar cube melt.

Drop it in.

Extinguish the flame.

And drink up.

Turn it up. I love this song.

Serena, what do you think
about a B-minus?

I want an A-plus.

It would seem obvious if all of a sudden
you started getting A's in Spanish.

I thought we were going
for more of a gradual improvement.

You've been studying harder
and working with a tutor.

My tutor.

Mrs. Sharp? Hi.

We're Juliet's friends from New York.
Is, uh, she around?

Oh. Um... No, no.
She's out running errands for me.

I see. Um, I guess we'll try again later.

Or maybe we can come in and wait?

We've been dying to see her
and it was a long ride.

Sure. Sure, come on in.
What'd you say your names were?

Oh. We didn't. I'm Blair.
This is Dan and Damien.

I'll put the kettle on, you guys sit.

So do you go to Columbia
with Jules, or...?

I do.

But Dan goes to NYU
and Damien's in the school of life.

I actually know Juliet from here.
I went to Knightley.

Oh. Uh, so I assume you know our Ben.

He was a damn good teacher,
no matter what they say.

I don't remember a Mr. Sharp.

No, no, his last name is Donovan.

Same as my first husband.

- Do you recognize him?
- Yeah.

But I didn't know
he was Juliet's brother.

Well, if I taught at Knightley...

...I wouldn't bring my Mystic Pizza
townie family to school events.

When Serena went back to the city,
he got fired for sleeping with a student.

Everyone was sure it was her.

- Is, uh, Earl Grey okay?
- Actually, we won't be able to stay.

You're at a new school,
but it's the same old thing. Partying, boys.

Yeah, but there was one person there
who was different.

Mr. Donovan. Hey.

If you're wondering...

...no, I don't plan to drink both of
these coffees. One is actually for you.

It's, uh, with two creams and no sugar.

I noticed that's how you take it
in the dining hall.

Thank you.

Um, so if you don't mind,
I was, um, wondering...

I actually have some questions...

...about arbor imagery
in the poems of Sylvia Plath.

Well, I happen to know that will be
on the final next week, so, uh, sit down.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, of course.

It felt good to have someone who
paid attention to me for a positive reason.

And we began to spend
more and more time together.

There wasn't a keg cracked within
10 miles Serena didn't know about.

And then suddenly,
she started staying home.

Reading in her room. The generous
conclusion to draw would be...

...Serena was getting her act together,
focusing on school.

No one thought that.
They assumed she was sleeping...

...with the handsome teacher.
- Was she?

I always thought the best
about Serena...

But something made you believe
it was true.

I was having dinner with my aunt
at the Millbrook Inn in Poughkeepsie.

As we were heading out,
I saw Serena checking in with Mr. Donovan.

I can't believe we got a flat tire
in that weather.

A trip to the Mary McCarthy collection
at the Vassar library is so...

...not worth it.

Why don't you dry off and get something
to eat and I'll go take care of the car?

Are you kidding? You're not
going back out there. You'll drown.

- The tire's not gonna fix itself.
- Yeah, but it'll stop raining by morning.

Maybe we could get a room.

Serena.

Come on, you can't act
like you haven't thought about it.

The ability to have thoughts
and not act on them.

This is what separates
man from beast.

You're not going to quote your way
out of this.

I know what the stakes are for you,
for me too.

But this is real on both sides.

And if you deny it, you're lying.

I'm not a liar,
I'm not gonna deny anything.

I care about you very much, Serena.

Which is why
I'm going to brave the weather...

...and fix the tire. I can drive you home,
so you can sleep in your own bed.

You know, I think he was the only guy
to ever say no to me.

I was in love with him. Well, as in love
as I had ever been at that point.

After that,
I didn't know how to act around him.

So we, uh, never really talked again.

This must have been
very disappointing...

...to the 16-year-old adventuress
that you were at the time.

But when you tell this story now...

...what does it make you think?

That Ben Donovan
was a pretty great guy.

Hey. Finally.

What do you need, Ben?

What's with the mood?
Mom wear you out Christmas shopping?

No, we actually never made it
to the mall.

Dan and Blair showed up in Cornwall
with Damien Dalgaard.

Damien? What's he doing with them?

Well, considering he's the one
who sold me the pills I used on Serena...

...I think I have a pretty good guess.

I told you the drugs were going too far.
Never mind if they go to the cops.

What if they show up at Mom's,
start asking questions.

Yeah, I'm sure they already did.

And I'm sure they're figuring
it all out right now.

Which is exactly why I am gonna finish
this thing...

...once and for all
like I should've done in the first place.

Where are you?

Are you in the city?

Juliet.

You have done enough.

Do not go after Serena.

- If you touch her...
- What?

It's not like you can stop me.

Hey. I need to make another call.

Please, you got to let me make a call.

Okay, fine, you make the call.
Someone has to warn her.

Serena van der Woodsen.
Hey, Archibald.

I'm Ben, I'm Juliet's brother.

You need to find Serena
and make sure she's okay.

- Wait, what?
- Hey, man.

- Hey.
- You gotta back up, man.

You can't talk to him, okay?

- Hey, man, what's up?
- When was the last time...

...you talked with Serena?
She's not answering.

- They took it away, part of her therapy.
- So she's still at the Ostroff?

- That's good. She's safe there.
- What do you mean, from what?

I was visiting my dad
and I ran into Juliet's brother, Ben.

He was really upset, and he, uh,
seemed to think Serena's in danger.

- From who? Juliet?
- I don't know. He didn't get to say.

But, uh, we should probably
go check on her.

Can you go? I'm in Staten Island.

No, I'm with Blair and Damien
in Connecticut. It's a long story.

But, all right,
meet us at the Van der Woodsen's.

Serena should be okay where she is,
but we need to find Juliet.

Okay, I'll see you there.

Uh-oh, S...

...you've got a surprise visitor
and she's about to give you shock therapy.

I think I figured it out, okay?
Serena had an affair with her teacher.

It's Serena, what else is there to do
in Connecticut?

She came to her senses and discarded him
like last season's Chanel booties.

Then he became a crazy stalker
and Serena pressed charges.

- That should be a warning to you.
- Parallels are striking.

Never-to-be-realized
literary aspirations. Check.

Townie. You're from Brooklyn,
so check.

Giving up everything to become
Serena van der Woodsen's stalker. Check.

Face it, you are one knitted tie
away from Mr. Donovan territory.

Except for the fact that stalker
implies one-sided.

Serena went to the ball
because she chose me.

It was obvious at the Center that
Serena couldn't wait to be in your arms.

For the record,
I haven't given anything up.

Oh, of course not.

Besides your time. And your dignity.

You are chauffeuring me around.

And I'm just curious, when was
the last time you wrote anything?

And scribbling "D loves S" all over your
journal every night doesn't count.

And the photo of me on Gossip Girl,
that was you too?

Yup, I went out dressed like you
and partied like it was 2007.

And then you just left me for dead
in a motel room?

Why? Because of Nate? Or Colin?

No, you stupid bitch.
Because you destroyed my brother's life.

- Who is your brother?
- Ben Donovan.

Ben is your brother?

What did I ever do to him?

The official charges: statutory rape...

...and transporting a minor
across state lines.

But nothing happened.

The girl signed an affidavit
stating otherwise.

I can't believe Serena would do this.

Okay, so I prove my innocence in court.
It's her word against mine.

I have to advise against going to trial.

They have a witness that saw you.
You left campus...

...with an underage student
and drove across state lines.

To a library.

I know, it's a bitter pill.

The girl's family doesn't want the story
to get out. They've pressured the DA...

...into offering a plea bargain.
- They can do that?

Serena's from a powerful family.

And we're nobodies.

A plea bargain
keeps the case out of the papers...

...and keeps your name
off the national sex offenders list.

You could start over again.

After I serve time
for a crime I didn't commit.

I'm sorry, Ben.

Thanks to you, my brother is currently
serving a five-year sentence.

I swear, I never accused Ben
of any crime.

He was nothing but good to me.

I saw the affidavit.

- I didn't sign anything.
- Then who did?

Lily.

- The party is lovely.
- Thank you.

Now, tell me honestly,
how is Serena doing?

She's fine. She just needed a breather.

If it were up to me, she would be
at Canyon Ranch, but they were booked.

My sister needs more than
a massage to get better.

But she's on her way
to a full recovery.

I'm sorry, but that was
what Serena wanted, and you know it.

Between a Marlins jersey
and absolute truth...

...lies the better part of decorum.

Becoming an adult
is about learning the distinction.

- You're doing very exciting things I hear.
- I appreciate that.

- Mom, hey.
- Sweetheart, hi.

Looks like Lily heard the divorce
was back on.

I messed up. The house Dad rented
was this place in Rhinebeck...

...you guys went
on your first vacation.

- He did wanna surprise you.
- It doesn't change anything.

It's not his fault. He's gonna
have to go to a halfway house.

I'm sorry, Nate.
It was never going to work.

We were all just fooling ourselves.

Hi, Anne.

The truth is I need this.

More than I need your father.

- Minnie, hi. How are you?
- Hi.

- Is that one of your designs?
- It is.

- You look adorable.
- Thank you.

Come, I need to catch up with you.

On behalf of Bass Industries,
I'd like to wish you all a happy holiday.

I'd also like to acknowledge
my stepmother...

...and the work
she's done for the company.

- Serena, what is she doing here?
- It's okay. I asked Juliet to come.

- Wait here, I'm gonna talk to my mother.
- Okay.

Serena will explain.

He's family, and I try to
do what's best for my family.

It's the one thing
that has always guided me.

Serena, what a lovely surprise.

- Everything okay?
- I need to talk to you.

Okay, well,
let's just take a few photos. Smile.

What's going on?

I don't know. I feel a little sick inside.
And not just because I'm looking at him.

Come to recruit another virgin
to be your mule?

I would say, "Why, are you available?"
But I'm leaving.

Thanks for the ride into the city.

- Enough.
- Thanks for helping.

- Just one more.
- I can't do this.

- Okay.
- Hi, I'm Serena. I'm Lily's daughter.

I wasn't gonna be able to make it
because I was at the Ostroff Center.

If it were up to my mother, she'd have
you believe I was at Canyon Ranch.

Having a daughter in a mental hospital
threatens her carefully protected image.

She wants you all to think that she's
the perfect host and mother and wife.

But the truth is she's a selfish liar who'll
destroy anyone who stands in her way.

Time to turn on the charm, Lily.

Because your perfect party
just turned into the perfect storm.

I apologize. I told Serena she couldn't
take the plane to Belize for Christmas.

Apparently she took it harder
than I realized.

Go find out what's going on
with your sister.

Please, Rufus. Take the holiday
to get things under control.

With the upcoming sale
of Bass Industries...

...we don't need any more surprises.

- Lily said she told you.
- Of course, yeah.

Forgive me, um,
it's been a dizzying few days.

Look, I don't know what's going on,
but Serena brought Juliet here tonight.

Don't take one step closer to her.

How do you feel about prison food
and daily strip searches?

B, it's okay. I talked to Juliet. She's not
the problem anymore. It's my mom.

Well, clearly,
she's drugged Serena again.

Dan, write a list of everything
Damien said he sold to Juliet.

You look at the list, tell us which drug
causes you to trust psychopaths.

And you call the police.

Okay, nobody is calling the police.

I know everything that Juliet did
and nothing excuses it.

But the Van der Woodsens are not putting
any more of her family behind bars.

Juliet, I'll find a way
to get Ben out of prison, I promise.

- You're free to go now.
- What? No. This is unacceptable.

Juliet's tried to hurt you too many times.
You can't let her walk away.

Blair's right, Serena.

I promise I won't do anything
to harm Serena again.

- Or anyone else for that matter.
- Yeah, that's reassuring.

I'm sorry.

I just spent a day in a car
with Dan Humphrey...

...to try to track her down.
You're letting her leave?

- Someone tell me what's going on.
- Okay, look, I'll explain everything.

I just need to talk to my mom first.

I apologize, Charles.

It seems that my biological children
don't understand...

...when business is at stake, you need
to leave your dirty laundry in the hamper.

Is that what Ben Donovan was to you?
Dirty laundry?

- Who's Ben Donovan?
- He was my boarding-school teacher.

Mom falsely accused of him
of statutory rape...

...so now he's serving time
for a crime he didn't commit.

Is that what the Ostroff Center
calls treatment these days?

Public scenes and false accusations?

Juliet is Ben's sister.
She told me everything.

So please, no more lying.
What happened?

You wanted to come home,
and I wanted you here.

When Constance saw your records
they wouldn't take you back.

And it was the same
with all the decent schools.

And I was worried about your future.

So I went to Knightley
and talked to the administration.

Of course you did.

While I was on campus, there were
some girls gossiping about you.

They said that you had spent the night...

...at a bed and breakfast
with one of your teachers.

- That was just gossip.
- Gossip I could use to our advantage.

I expressed my concern
that one of their teachers...

...was having an inappropriate
relationship with my daughter.

So you sent Ben to prison
so I could go to Constance?

Well, no, of course not.

But after I left,
the school alerted the authorities.

And I didn't know what I had set in motion
until I was contacted by the DA.

- By then it was too late.
- Too late to tell the truth?

So you just destroy a man's life,
all so you can keep up appearances?

No, I did this for you. For your future.

Look, it's not like Mr. Donovan
was guilt-free.

He shouldn't be having
an affair with a student.

But he didn't do anything.
Nothing ever happened.

- Sweetie, you don't have to protect him.
- I'm not protecting him.

He never touched me, Mom.
You sent an innocent man to prison.

Look, everyone here has crossed a line
to protect someone they care about.

Sometimes there's collateral damage.

It's not so easy
when you're the collateral damage.

Maybe it's time
to put everything on the table.

Lily, do you have something
you need to tell Chuck?

Well, if there was something I wanted
to tell Charles, I would've told him.

Lily's selling Bass Industries.

It's all very complicated.
I had to talk to the board first.

I trusted you
with my father's company.

I want it back. Immediately.

You think the board would
give the company...

...to someone who disappeared
for three months?

Your instability is the reason
I ended up in charge.

I won't let you do this, Lily.

Serena. I'm so sorry.
Please believe me. You have to.

I don't have to do anything for you
ever again.

I didn't wanna hurt anyone, Rufus.
I really thought I was helping.

I'm sorry, Lily.
I don't know that I believe that anymore.

They say you reap what you sow.

Better get out
your gardening gloves, Lily.

Looks like you're going to have
a bumper crop this year.

See, food is more delicious
when you cook it yourself.

We're gonna end this experiment
in middle-class living...

...and call housekeeping to clean up.

I stuck my hand up a turkey's butt.
You're not getting out of your job.

Well, I provided the location,
so I did my part.

I'm off to New Zealand,
to enjoy a taste of summer...

...and girls who like sex games
in the rainforest.

I'll help. Fitting, seeing as
I did the shopping, set the table...

...and oversaw the cooking.
- All right.

- Is that Lily?
- By proxy.

She's in Montecito,
so she's having Cece call.

Is Rufus gonna join her?

Yeah, but he's driving out on his own.
I think he needed time to clear his head.

See. I told you road trips
are strictly for Humphreys.

Since my mom isn't gonna help
get Ben out of jail...

...I wanna find the judge
who's on the affidavit.

I think he lives upstate,
so I thought I'd turn it into a road trip.

Why don't you come with me?

How long were you thinking?

I have to be back
by the time school starts.

I called and explained
it wasn't me that dropped out.

She was not happy,
but she did reinstate me.

Goodbye, friends. Dan.

- I'll see you in the new year.
- Wait, I'll walk you out. Here.

New Zealand?
That's awfully close to Australia.

I like the heat.

You'll get plenty if you try to make a
deal with the devil. Jack will never help.

Maybe. But a shared enemy
makes for unlikely friends.

You ready?

Happy holidays, Blair.

Hey, I'm sorry to just spring the road trip
on you like that.

I didn't ask
what your plans for the break were.

Oh, no, I don't really have any plans,
I was...

...sort of hoping to hang out with you,
go see some movies...

...maybe get some writing done.

Well, then why don't you come with me?
You could still write.

Come on, it would be so much fun.

It would be just the two of us
listening to the radio...

...and eating roadside food and
we could do a little recon along the way.

What do you say?
I think it would be good for us.

But would it be good for you?

Serena, I would love to go with you...

...but if feels like this trip is something
you might need to do on your own.

I've been trying so hard to
prove to the world that I've changed...

...but I think the person that doubted it
the most was me.

- I'm gonna work on that.
- And you'll succeed.

I know you will.
And I know you better than anyone.

Be safe.

Whenever we give up
something we really care about...

...we hope that the universe
will reward our selfless choice.

Hey, Dad, how's it going?

I've done some research on my options
for halfway houses.

Some of them aren't too bad.

After prison,
it's not like I need the Four Seasons.

- What about the Empire?
- What do you mean?

Well, I spoke with the parole board.

I gave them my address
as where you'll be reporting in January.

- I want you to come back to a home.
- Thank you, Nate.

- I can't tell you how much this means.
- I'm out buying you some new clothes.

I, uh, know you've been locked away
for a while...

...but no one's wearing orange
this season.

However, it's not always fate
that gives us a gift.

Sometimes it's someone
closer to home.

What are you still doing here?
Shouldn't you be off living your dream?

- Days on end in a real car with Serena.
- I'm staying here.

I'll be living my nightmare. Trapped,
with only Blair Waldorf to talk to.

Nate's here. I'll share custody
as long as I'm in first position.

Nate's with his grandfather.

- Eric, then.
- Gstaad with Elliot.

Please don't continue down the list.
I promise, it's just me. I won't call.

I'm gonna be very busy writing,
turning Vanessa's room into an office...

...seeing Nenette at the Film Forum.
- I'm seeing Nenette at Film Forum.

French documentaries
about orangutans?

Nenette is an inspiration.

Last summer, I'd go to the Jardin
des Plantes all the time just to visit her.

If we happen to run into each other,
please don't sit next to me.

I wouldn't think of it. Let's finish
the dishes so we can go home.

I wash, you dry. You wouldn't
know how to handle Riedel.

This coming from the one holding
a bottle of L'Occitane shampoo.

You can't wash good wine glasses
in common dish soap.

Just follow my lead, Humphrey.
You're used to doing that.

Excuse me.

Could you tell me what's going on?

My mom and sister are out of town
so I know they aren't visiting.

Serena. What are you doing here?

I had to come see you.

I don't know what to say.

Neither do I.
But I feel like I should start.

If you love someone, set them free.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.