Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 3, Episode 8 - The Grandfather: Part II - full transcript

GOSSIP GIRL: Gossip Girl here,
your one and only source...

...into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

Why settle for some club in a hotel
when you can just buy the hotel?

I'm worrying.
Politics is a Vanderbilt birthright.

The only thing Nate's voted for
is American Idol.

Tripp was the same way.
Grandfather can be very persuasive.

When did Tripp decide
to run for Congress?

After Congressman Kruger died,
a house seat opened up.

Dan, I have to tell you something.

- Oh, my God. Are you...? You're not...?
- Fleur.

I lied because I care about you.



The only person
I wanna kiss tonight is you.

SERENA:
Why leak a fake photo?

- Are you trying to destroy Tripp?
- It'll win Tripp the election.

- I am sorry I had to lie.
- You're not.

I settled your debt with the Buckleys.
Nate hates me now. It doesn't matter.

BLAIR: Chuck's hotel needed this.
Without your celebrities...

...we're buried in the City section.
Now we're front-page news.

You got my clients photographed
at the hottest party. Your job is safe.

That job now includes dating Patrick.

- I don't know if I'd call that work.
- Get back to me after date two.

WOMAN:
Where has she been?

GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...



... Gossip Girl.

GOSSIP GIRL:
In Manhattan, some parties are VIP only.

Others are strictly private.

But some parties are political,
and those lines are drawn...

... by the most established
of the establishment.

[NATE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, you wanna use that?

GOSSIP GIRL: And once those lines
are drawn, they can never be crossed.

A Michael Mann political thriller?

- That's good news.
KC [OVER PHONE]: Wonderful news.

My source tells me Michael's
only considering two actors for the lead:

- Patrick and Ryan Phillippe.
- Well, then he's in.

Ryan totally lost his mojo
after Reese got with Jake.

KC:
Don't "Jake" me, Serena.

Get Patrick's photo taken with politicians
at the Vanderbilt election party tonight.

- I can't.
KC: The producers will eat it up.

It'll help him get into character
for his audition next week.

I look forward to hearing how it goes.

The problem is I'm kind of on the outs
with the Vanderbilts right now.

Serena, what's PR rule number one?

"My only value is my social network."

But I'm afraid that network
is currently one Archibald short.

Make it happen. Clean up your mess,
or clean out your desk. No, that one.

[OLIVIA SIGHS AND DAN GRUNTS]

- Hey, how long you been awake?
- Not long.

Remind me to send the
Vanderbilt campaign a muffin basket.

Vanessa's been MIA
since she started that documentary.

She was here for 10 seconds yesterday.
I guess she's getting amazing footage.

The footage I wanna see
is your Jimmy Fallon appearance.

Dinner was great. I just wish
we'd gotten back in time to see it.

Yeah, sorry I dragged you
to that gelato shop.

I had a really bad sugar craving.

[DAN CHUCKLES]

- You know what? I bet it's online.
- No.

Uh, you can't watch it like that.
The quality's so bad, you know?

I'd rather you watch it in HD.

Okay. When? I'm sorry, I'm just excited.

It's been a while since I had a girlfriend
on a late-night talk show.

Um... Well, I'm sure I can get a copy
from KC.

Okay.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

Ho, ho. Watch out, it's Bathroom Boy.
Clear the way.

[BOY LAUGHS]

Okay. All right. Good morning to you too.

CHUCK:
Welcome to my new suite.

We patent the media system.
Interactive high-def 3-D gaming.

Instant access
to the world's largest media library.

And all in-house food, spa services,
just touch the button.

Blair's favorite part:
Real-time surveillance playback.

It's naughty. Ha, ha.

Well, it certainly is a step up
from the Columbia dorms.

Most penthouses are, Nathaniel.

It has two bedrooms.
Feel free to crash any time you like.

- Tripp. Maureen.
TRIPP: Hey.

Hey, all this behind-the-scenes stuff
is really great.

Thanks again
for letting me film Tripp's campaign.

- No problem.
WILLIAM: Charles.

Well, you've outdone yourself.

I can't think of a better way
to christen the ballroom...

...than with a Vanderbilt victory party.
- Your generosity will not be forgotten.

We're looking forward to tonight's event.

Thanks again, Chuck.
Even if the night ends in defeat...

...at least we'll have a good party.
- Sweetie, don't talk like that.

This morning's poll numbers
aren't great.

We're down where we should be up.
We're barely hanging on.

- That's what makes it exciting, right?
- Excuse me.

He's right, Nathaniel.
Things aren't where they should be.

The Buckleys' dirty pool
is starting to work.

Thanks to Serena,
we weren't able to expose it.

- Well, isn't there something we can do?
- It's Election Day.

At this point, Nathaniel, it would
take nothing short of a miracle.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey. I was running errands.

KC asked me to drop off
your Jimmy Fallon interview.

Great. Guess that means you've seen it.

Yeah.

- I didn't mean what I said.
- Oh, don't worry about that.

- I'm sure Dan understands.
- He hasn't seen it.

I don't know what to do.
I have to fix this.

And, meanwhile, keep him away
from TV and Internet and strangers.

- Don't forget about Gossip Girl.
- I have to just keep him isolated.

- Oh, hey. What are you doing here?
- Um...

Serena just, uh, came by
to tell us how much she likes Patrick.

- Oh.
SERENA: Yeah, ha, ha.

Oddly, he's my favorite part of my job.
It's pretty fun having a fake relationship.

- Talk about no pressure.
OLIVIA: I'm slightly relieved.

I heard some pretty crazy stuff
about Patrick.

Supposedly he went method...

...after that Gus Van Sant movie he did
nobody saw.

His agents and KC are filtering
all the scripts that get to him.

He's been allowed
to read a political thriller.

- What's the worst thing he can do?
- As much as I enjoy my girlfriend...

...talking to my ex-girlfriend
about her fake boyfriend...

...who is also
my current girlfriend's ex...

...you could get us a copy
of that Fallon interview, right?

But first, um, Serena...

...you should get to Patrick's
before FedEx does with more scripts.

- Goodbye.
- Okay.

Bye.

S. I hope you're not here
looking for an apology.

I was just dropping something off
to Olivia.

That's right. I momentarily forgot...

...your job is more important
than your friends.

I have a couple minutes.
Wanna get a latte?

If by "getting a latte"
you mean apologizing, then I don't.

Out of respect
for our many years of friendship...

...l'm willing to let what you did slide.
- What I did?

Okay, we both made decisions
that hurt the other.

We both feel badly. Now let's move on.

I have to go meet Chuck right now.

We've been prepping
for Tripp's election party tonight.

I notice you're not on the guest list.
And that can only mean one thing:

Nate still hates you
for whatever it is you did to him.

I'd check your sources, B.

And I am going tonight
with my handsome boyfriend, Patrick.

Your boyfriend's working the party.
Who are you going with?

- One of your knockoffs?
- Well, since you're so interested...

...I have made real friends here.
I just don't share your need to brag.

Okay.

Well, I can't wait to meet them tonight.

- I need a friend. Stat.
- I'm your friend.

[BLAIR SCOFFS]

Please. I'm not friends with staff.

[LINE RINGS]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

You need to get that?

No. It's not important.

NATE [ON MACHINE]:
This is Nate. Leave a message.

If this morning's polls
put you neck and neck with Sullivan...

...there's still time.
Why not let Grandfather help you?

Nate, I've said it before,
and I'll say it again:

I'd rather lose fair and square
than win with a dirty campaign.

Yeah, well, asking Grandfather for help
doesn't necessarily mean playing dirty.

VANESSA:
It's Election Day. Who are you voting for?

MAN 1: Hey, someone's drowning
over here! Call 911!

MAN 2:
Help! I can't swim!

- Help! I'm drowning!
WOMAN: Help him!

GOSSIP GIRL: It looks like Tripp's prayers
have been answered...

... with another miracle on the Hudson.

Are the Vanderbilts blessed
with good luck or good timing?

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
You're watching New York 1, news all day.

Just this morning, congressional
candidate Tripp Vanderbilt...

... rescued a man who was drowning
in the Hudson River.

One minute, I'm walking along the pier.

The next thing I know,
I lose my balance and I'm in the Hudson.

If it wasn't for this brave young man,
Tripp Vanderbilt...

- Vanderbilt was on his way to his...
- Ten hours till the polls close.

Let's seize the day.
Where are we with media?

I've locked down coverage
from every local station.

WILLIAM:
Call Couric. She owes me a favor.

Maybe she can squeeze
Tripp into the Evening News.

Can I speak with you?

Zogby has them neck and neck.
Rasmussen puts him up by a point.

- Oh. Tripp, that's fantastic.
WILLIAM: Remember, until the polls close...

...any time someone mentions
the name Tripp Vanderbilt...

...it should be followed
by the word "hero."

Well, I guess miracles do happen,
huh, Grandfather?

Our family is really blessed.
So is that man who almost died.

STRATEGIST 1:
William, can you take a look at this?

REPORTER [ON TV]: Remind them that
they do have an important voice in politics.

Absolutely. No, thank you.

- Thank you so, so much.
- Hey.

My rescue footage
is gonna be on the news.

William told me to go drum up interest.
I'm the only one who got it on tape.

- Congratulations. Have you seen Nate?
- Yeah, he's over there.

Tell him bye from me. I gotta go home
and get my tapes together.

- What are you doing?
- I left you a message. You never called.

As you can see, I've been sort of busy.
I have nothing to say to you.

SERENA:
Then I'll make it quick.

I need you to put me and Patrick Roberts
on the guest list for Tripp's party.

[SCOFFS]

- Are you kidding me?
- My job is at stake.

That's funny. So is my cousin's campaign,
thanks to you.

As far as I'm concerned, we're even.

You used me for your Buckley photo scam.
All I did was find out and undo it.

I wouldn't exactly call revenge
a solid foundation for a friendship.

Who said anything about friendship?
All I need is an invite, plus one.

- Serena.
- Tripp. Hey. I voted for you.

Thanks. You coming tonight?

Absolutely. I wouldn't miss it.

- Thanks, Nate.
STRATEGIST 2: Tripp, sign off on this?

BLAIR: Washington Square Park,
Bobst Library, Bar None.

I tried spinning the cube at
St. Mark's Place. Not a friend in sight.

- It wouldn't be this hard at Yale.
- What about that Vanessa girl?

Didn't you know her in high school?

I have never heard that name before
in my life.

Now, feel free to see yourself out.

Oh, my God. How does that girl
have the Valentino 360 bag?

- I'm still wait-listed.
- Who? Where?

At the register.

Quick. How do I look?

Superior.

[SIGHS]

No one follow me.

- I love your 360.
- Thanks. I just got it.

- And very smart to pair with Peter Som.
- You're good.

- I know. I'm Blair. May I?
- Oh, please, do.

[SIGHS]

The moment I saw it,
it joined my list of Blair's Most Wanted.

Believe me when I tell you...
I don't say this very often.

- But I think I like you.

Give me those Peep Toes,
and I'll believe you.

Sorry. My Alexandre Birman's
are sacred.

- Amen.
- Ha, ha.

By the way, I'm Brandeis.

How would you like to come with me
to a fabulous party tonight?

- "Mat." Are you joking?
DAN: No, not in the least.

It's going on the end of "door,"
which makes it a triple-word score.

- That's my son.
- Wow, the Humphreys are so serious...

...about their Scrabble games.
- You two are so sweet...

...to come and entertain Jenny.

OLIVIA: She's been cooped up
with this virus for a week.

- When she called, how could we resist?
JENNY: Yeah, thank you guys so much.

Really getting sick of TV and Internet.

[JENNY'S CELL PHONE BEEPS]

[JENNY COUGHS
AND DAN'S CELL PHONE BEEPS]

- I need a SARS mask.
- Uh, can I borrow your phone?

- Yeah, go ahead.
- I keep leaving mine in the dorm.

[JENNY COUGHING]

All right, that's 33.
A whopping 33 points.

RUFUS: Uh, "jetdoorman," is that a word?
DAN: Well, it'd be "jetdoormat."

RUFUS: Oh, "jetdoormat."
DAN: SARS mask.

[SIGHS]

VANESSA [ON COMPUTER]:
Who are you voting for?

MAN [ON COMPUTER]:
I don't know. Tough question.

You know, I'm not really sure
who I'm gonna vote for...

[VIDEO REWINDING]

You know, I'm not really...

What?

MAN: Sure who I'm gonna vote for.
He's awful young...

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Wow. You look hot.
- Same.

- I have great news.
- Yeah, so do I.

- You first.
- I just finished reading a fantastic script.

The political thriller?

It's a remake of Leaving Las Vegas.
They wanna redo it with a younger cast.

- Where did you get those scripts?
- In the garbage. This one's amazing.

- Care to join me in a little research?
- No research.

Your team has been pushing very hard
for the political one.

I have worked my butt off
to get you into this party.

But Miley Cyrus has already signed on
to play the Elisabeth Shue role.

They must've seen her on that pole
at the TCAs.

We don't have time to talk about this.
You need to get ready.

This party is a very big deal
for both of us.

There will be tons of important political
people there. Tonight, forget Vegas.

It's all about D.C. Okay?

Put on some clothes, please.

Hey, Vanessa.

Listen, I'm really busy.
This couldn't wait?

Honestly, no.

And I thought it'd be better to talk
away from the campaign chaos.

Hmm. I'm in a really awkward position...

...so I'm just gonna say
what I have to say.

Okay.

What happened at the Hudson
this morning wasn't what it looked like.

What do you mean?

The guy you and Tripp saved,
he didn't fall.

I think it was set up.

[SCOFFS]

- That's ridiculous.
- I have it all on tape.

- Has anyone else seen the footage?
- No.

But I already agreed
to sell it to New York 1.

I'm going to meet Caroline Lowe,
one of the producers, at Cafeteria.

Whoa, wait. Vanessa, if you do that...

I'm sorry, but if I just sit on it,
I become part of a cover-up.

Listen, the polls close in a few hours.
Can you just wait?

I wish I could.
But this is not some high-school thing.

This is someone running
for public office, Nate.

Yeah, but there's gotta be
some sort of explanation.

Someone set Tripp up to look like
a hero, and I think we know...

...the person most likely to orchestrate
something like that is your grandfather.

I have so much respect for Tripp...

...and he has been so generous
to let me film his campaign.

Should I warn him
so he can prepare for damage control?

Don't worry about telling Tripp.
Okay? I'll tell him.

- I'm sorry, Nate.
- No.

GOSSIP GIRL:
This election may be too close to call...

... but when it's his family's honor
or his own...

... Nate Archibald has the number
on speed dial.

Yes. New York 1, please.

Caroline Lowe.

Wow, thank you so much
for explaining that.

Hey, we were just discussing
the Senate Committee on Appropriations.

- Maybe you'd like to join us.
- Oh, yeah.

- Hello.
- Thank you so much.

See? Isn't this great?
You've got the perfect Capitol Hill vibe.

- I gotta hit the can.
- Okay.

[SIGHS]

- Right. Yeah.
- Yeah.

Do you wanna?

Oh, my God. That's Senator Proctor.

Wow. You really do know everyone.

Oh, I don't know everyone.
I'll be right back.

- Hey, Blair.
- Hey.

Do you see that gorgeous blond
talking to those high-profile politicians?

That's my best friend.
She knows most of them personally.

Oh, that's great. Political connections
aren't the first thing...

...most people look for in friends.
- They must really love her.

They seemed thrilled to meet me.
They even asked if we were sisters.

I can't wait for you to meet Patrick.
He's getting me a drink.

- I feel so lucky. He's so attentive.
- It doesn't take much, does it?

What? No one's ever accused you
of saying no.

[SCOFFS]

Hey, where is the Scrabble dictionary?
I swear "squiffy" is a word.

Oh. Uh...

"Scrabble dictionary."

"Bathroom Boy"?

Ah.

You know our next guest
from the Endless Knights movie franchise.

Please welcome
the lovely Olivia Burke, everybody.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING ON COMPUTER]

She's cute.

REPORTER [ON TV]: Many years
in the private sector, and after retiring...

... served four years in City Council
and 10 in the State Legislature.

He was a supporter of John McCain,
stumping for him...

... all across rural upstate New York
in the 2008 presidential race.

Someone just told me
you're Vanessa Abrams. Is that right?

- Yeah.
- So who did you sell the footage to?

My office called, said that you sold
your rescue footage to another network.

Yeah, I sold it to New York 1, actually.
A woman named Caroline Lowe.

- I met her two hours ago.
- I'm Caroline Lowe.

So who was the woman
in the restaurant?

REPORTER: As far as first-time voters go,
the high turnout can be credited...

... to the 2008 election in which...

Finally. It's your turn.

I just realized I have an Environmental
Studies paper due tomorrow.

- Wait, um... I'll just get my stuff.
- You know what? Stay. You're winning.

And you gotta keep Jenny company.
I'll text you later, okay?

Did my son just walk out
before playing a Q on a double letter?

That is so not the Humphrey way.

My computer.

[GROANS]

RUFUS: Hmm.
LILY: Hmm.

You know, I am sensing
something else is going on here.

Well, you didn't actually think...

...they wanted to play five hours' worth
of board games with us...

...did you?
- Mm.

[SIGHS]

Looking for your boyfriend?

Uh... No, he's probably getting mobbed
by fans right now.

- He's just stolen away to get us a drink.
- Doubt it.

Because he downed both your drinks,
and then ordered two more for himself.

- Where is he?
- Don't worry. I took care of it.

I had him taken up to a suite.

- What? Why?
- He's bombed.

Drunker than Paula Abdul
during Hollywood Week.

Heh. Are you really that jealous
that he's here with me?

S, you know wasted
better than most of us...

...having been in that state
so many times.

You met your match.
Since I just found out...

...that your date is really work,
pay closer attention to him next time.

This is Nate's big night at Chuck's hotel.
So, sorry, S, I did what I had to do.

Again.

So you're out with this guy, he goes to
the bathroom, when he comes back...

It was our first date. He goes to
the restroom, when he comes back...

...his shirt was on inside-out.
- Check, please.

That's where you go.
That's when you get out.

- That's when you have to leave.
- I find out later...

... that he walked into a spiderweb,
and a spider crawled inside his shirt.

Yeah, the old spider excuse.
We've all used that one before.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON COMPUTER]

Yeah, the old,
"Oh, a spider came down my shirt.

And that's why I had to take my shirt off."

Okay, yeah, that's... I believe that.
Yeah, I would believe that one.

And now,
are you still dating Bathroom Boy?

- Or was he been arrested? I don't know.
- Jimmy. You know what?

Tomorrow is our one-month anniversary.

- Oh, my gosh. Congratulations.
- Yeah, it's big.

In honor, I'll be taking my clothes off
in the bathroom, then redressing myself.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON COMPUTER]

- And after all that Scrabble.
- I can't believe I told that story...

...on national television.
He must hate me.

Please pick up, please pick up,
please pick up.

It went to voicemail.

Hey, it's me.

I know that you're not picking up
because you must be so mad at me.

Please know that I'm so, so sorry.

SERENA:
Patrick.

Patrick.

Patrick!

- Patrick! What are you doing?
- Whoa!

- I told you how important tonight was.
- Serena.

[LAUGHS THEN SIGHS]

Do you think Blair had me thrown out
because I was a little tipsy...

...or because I was talking to that
high-priced call-girl friend of hers?

What did you just say?

- Why'd you do it?
NATE: Do what?

Nate. You were the only one who knew
I had a meeting to sell the footage.

- I had to protect Tripp.
- I came to you, as a friend.

Don't be so self-righteous. You were
selling the footage to further your career.

- That is not true.
- Oh, so you weren't excited...

...to see your name flash
on every television in Manhattan?

I'll let you know
how that feels in a minute.

- What does that mean?
- Everybody, quiet.

REPORTER [ON TV]:
- With breaking news.

We are just now getting reports that
footage of the Hudson River rescue...

... reveals Tripp Vanderbilt's heroic act
might not be so heroic.

After close inspection of the footage,
it's apparent the man...

... deliberately went
into the Hudson River.

GOSSIP GIRL: The polls are closed and
Gossip Girl is calling this election dirty.

It remains to be seen
who's responsible for this hoax.

Someone in the Vanderbilt camp?
Maybe the candidate himself?

[PHONES RINGING]

- Grandfather.
REPORTER [ON TV]: The effect on polls...

... is impossible to measure.

All right, could someone
just turn that off?

And please just give us
a moment of privacy. Thank you.

I can't believe you would
compromise my integrity like this.

- Take a deep breath, Tripp.
- You didn't believe I could win...

...did you?
- Honestly, I had my doubts.

- But I did not do this.
- The hell you didn't.

Tripp, just calm down.

Listen to me very carefully, Grandfather.

If you don't go
and take responsibility for this...

...then I will. By stepping out of the race.

I'm not gonna go
in front of the cameras and lie.

Oh, come on, Grandfather,
it's time to come clean.

I give you my word,
I'm not responsible for this.

Unfortunately for the both of us,
your word means nothing anymore.

Well, if you are both done...

...l'm going to go down
and join the celebration.

[NATE SIGHS]

Gather the press, Nate.

I'm gonna announce
my official withdrawal.

I just have to tell Maureen first.

I know I'm an enemy of the state
right now.

What happened to you, Nate?

The guy I used to call my friend
had a moral compass.

Right now, I'm thinking
I'm just gonna go for my masters...

...but who knows?
- Sorry to interrupt.

- Brandeis, right? I'm Serena.
- Hi, Serena. This is Congressman Wade.

Pleasure to meet you.
And are you a student like Brandeis?

No, I'm just a regular old working girl.

Really? And do you two work together?
Because maybe the three of us...

Congressman. You've been
campaigning a little too hard.

[WADE & BRANDEIS LAUGH]

Let me guess, you wanna go upstairs
and see if two blonds make a right?

Excuse us.

I'm sorry, I thought I was
working this party alone.

Did the agency send you?

No, you're right.
This party is all yours. Excuse me.

REPORTER:
As a friend, what do you have to say...

...about the allegation Tripp Vanderbilt's
heroism might have been staged?

- I'm a businessman, not a politician.
- How will it affect your business...

...if the Empire's inaugural event
is mired in scandal?

Look, you think anyone goes
to the Mercer for the maid service?

They wanna see Russell Crowe
throw a hissy.

Anyway, nothing happens
at the Empire without my say-so.

GUARD:
Will you please come with me?

- Hey.
- Sir, I need you to put some pants on.

PATRICK:
Where are you taking me?

[WOMEN LAUGH]

SERENA: What are you doing, Blair,
looking for your best friend?

Bad news,
security just escorted her out...

...in time to avoid
a major political scandal.

You're kidding me.
Now we're doing tit for tat?

She was an escort, a high-priced hooker.

[SCOFFS]

You're ridiculous. Brandeis
is not a call girl, she's a psych major.

- Who told you that?
- Patrick.

The guy is wasted.
He thought Chuck Schumer was his father.

- You're just trying to get back at me.
- No, I'm looking out for Chuck and Nate.

I doubt Chuck would want a prostitute
at his hotel. Especially this party.

Patrick was about to cause a scene.

I was protecting everyone. Including you.

What are you talking about?

Look, ladies, please.
This is supposed to be a classy event...

...not a sample sale at a mall.

You'll never believe what Serena did.
She had my friend kicked out.

The call girl? Security just told me.

[SPUTTERS]

No, I promise you,
Brandeis is not an escort.

Serena's just getting even with me.

I don't know what's going on...

...but I'll find her
and get to the bottom of it, okay?

Thank you, Chuck.

Who's the one getting paid
to date her clients, anyway?

- That's enough, Blair.
BLAIR: No.

If it walks like a duck
and talks like a duck...

The only prostitute here is you.

Come on, Chuck. I want some cake.

[BLAIR GRUNTS THEN GASPS]

GOSSIP GIRL:
Blair and Serena at war again. Yummy.

- Hey, let me go first.
- Nate, it's okay. I know what I'm doing.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Hi. My name is Nate Archibald.

I'm Tripp Vanderbilt's cousin.

And I know there's a lot of buzz
going around...

...about what happened
this morning at the Hudson River.

And it saddens me to tell you all
that the story about it being a hoax...

...it is true.

[CROWD MURMURING]

However, my cousin Tripp Vanderbilt
had no knowledge of any kind of setup.

My cousin is not only
the most moral, honest...

...and courageous guy I know...

...he's still a hero.

And how do I know this?

Because I'm the one who set it up.

[CROWD GASPING AND MURMURING]

- What the hell is wrong with you?
- Right now? Thirst. I need a drink.

She called me a prostitute.

- Why did she do that?
- I'm not sleeping with Patrick.

You know what a prostitute does.

Blair attacked you
because she misses you.

Don't tell me
you can't read Waldorf subtext.

I shouldn't have to. If that's what
she's feeling, she should tell me.

- It's time to grow up.
- This from someone...

...who just pushed her best friend
into a cake?

Look, you think your friendship
is going to take care of itself?

You're not kids anymore.

You can't say you hate each other
and then make up an hour later.

- You tell her that.
CHUCK: I'm telling you.

And you should careful, because
one day you're gonna find yourself...

...telling people about Blair Waldorf,
the girl who used to be your best friend.

[KNOCKING]

- Hi. I got your text.
- All it said was...

"Maybe we should talk."
And so I just came right away.

I'm sorry about Fallon.

Up till now, my publicists
would decide everything for me...

...what I'd talk about during interviews
and even script what I would say.

And just this one time,
I wanted to just be myself...

...and go out there and be me.
And, ugh, I bombed.

- What? No, you didn't. It was funny.
- And today, you left...

...and I knew... I knew that I'd hurt you.

And our first date meant so much to me.

Olivia, Fallon was right.

The spider story isn't even true.

OLIVIA:
What is this?

You wanna know the truth
about our first date?

There was no spider.

I was so nervous that I was with you,
I kept sweating through my shirt.

I was running to the bathroom
to use the dryer...

- Ha-ha-ha.
- This isn't funny. Don't laugh.

No... Ha-ha-ha, I'm really trying not to.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Then today, I rushed out of Scrabble
because I'd seen your interview...

...where you told the world that
today was our one-month anniversary.

I'm usually very on the ball...

...with these things.
- Stop.

You're amazing.

You're not the only one
with a surprise today.

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: You're watching
New York 1, news all evening.

Before we return to the race for mayor,
we wanna take you...

... to the congressional election,
which couldn't be any closer.

[ON TV] At this time,
with 85 percent of the votes counted...

... Mike Sullivan has 49,837 votes...

Hey, what are you doing down here?
Get back to your party.

I was hoping you'd still be here.

I wanted to thank you for the sacrifice
you made on that stage tonight.

- For me.
- Hey, I was happy to.

Because I believe in you.

REPORTER: Here it is.
We are prepared to call this election...

...in favor of newcomer...
- Apparently New York does too.

... 26-year-old William Vanderbilt III...

... affectionately known
to those around him as "Tripp."

That is right, with 96 percent
of the vote counted...

- I won.
- Yeah, you did.

- Just do me one favor though.
- Anything.

Be the best congressman
this district's ever seen.

I have complete faith in you.

After all, I mean, you're the only
honest man in our family.

- Congrats. You deserve it.
- Thanks.

Better get going before we're seen
together and a scandal erupts.

I promise you, one day,
I will make things right. I will fix this.

This is the beginning
of a new Vanderbilt dynasty.

One we can be proud of.

REPORTER:
For those of you just tuning in...

MAUREEN:
Congratulations! Ha, ha.

I'm so proud of you.

Stay away from me.

Blair, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have done that...

...but whether it was Patrick tonight
or KC's clients at Chuck's party...

...a real friend would've come to me
with the problem...

...and we would've solved it together.
- Seriously, Serena?

After 18 years of this,
I actually feel sorry for you.

You're so deep in Serena World,
you can't recognize...

...what's really going on.

Throughout all my years with Nate...

...my whole life, really,
you've always been number one.

And now, for the first time,
things are different.

I'm different. I have college
and a real relationship.

I'm starting to build a life for myself.

I'm building a life for myself too.

With Carter? Your job
as an assistant to a publicist...

...who pays you to date
a wacked-out movie star?

You're drifting away from Dan and
your family. And you've lost Nate...

...one of your oldest friends.

This night is finally over.

And as far as I'm concerned,
so are we.

GOSSIP GIRL: Who would have thought
that S and B's friendship had a term limit?

Sorry, ladies. Party's over.

Thank you.

Hey, Brandeis. I thought you'd be
long gone by now.

- Hey, Blair. Great party.
- I am so sorry.

I can't believe Serena told everyone
you were a prostitute.

- That is, like, so crazy.
- Well, to be honest...

...it's not that crazy.

- How so?
- It's true. I'm a working girl.

- I wanted to tell you, but we just met.
- Ew.

- Do you even go to school at NYU?
- Yes. And I am a psych major.

Ask me anything. Freud, Skinner, Piaget.
I'm still the same person, Blair.

This is just how I pay for college
and couture.

Huh.

Well, I have to run it by my people,
but we can still shop together perhaps.

Absolutely. But right now...

...I got a job.

- You used me to meet new clients?
- Sorry, but I'm new to the Big Apple.

And rotten to the core.

Okay, come on.
Come on. Let's get you in.

- Easy. Come on, watch your head.
- Hey, come on, let's go to Bar Boulud.

- No.
- You have to. You're my girlfriend.

I can't be seen without you, remember?

[SERENA SIGHS]

That's what you get paid for.

SERENA: Here you go.
Come on, 710 East 76th Street.

Tell Ms. Cunningham
she has a delivery.

[SIGHS]

I think Nathaniel was brilliant tonight,
don't you?

Brilliant? Foolish is more like it.

Come on, William,
even you have to admit it...

...this couldn't have worked any better
if it was planned.

You.

All this time you thought
the only thing I was capable of...

...was holding his hand
and smiling on the sidelines.

To be honest, my dear,
I never really spent that much time...

...thinking about you.
- Well, your loss is my gain.

My husband is a congressman,
and thanks to Vanessa's camera...

...you're out of our lives for good.
Finally, Tripp can be his own man.

- My man.
- You think I'm just gonna stand aside...

...and let myself be collateral damage?

I'll tell him.

You don't exactly have
a lot of credibility right now.

Who's he going to believe?

I thought you said you were going home.

I changed my mind.

Well, If I'd known,
I would have come sooner.

Did you ever find Brandeis?

Yes.

But we're not friends anymore.

But that's okay. I have you.

That's all I need.

REPORTER [ON COMPUTER]: Just last year
the front page of every major newspaper...

... had coverage of
Tripp and Maureen Vanderbilt's marriage.

Dignitaries across the world attended.

GOSSIP GIRL: Sometimes it's hard
to see the lines we've drawn...

... until we cross them.

JIMMY FALLON [ON TV]: Sake?
This is huge for sake cups. You know what?

I wanna say something.
We wanna apologize for last time.

I was hard on your boyfriend. I apologize.

So, Dan, if you're watching,
we wanted to say happy anniversary.

Aw.

JIMMY FALLON: Happy anniversary.
OLIVIA [ON TV]: Thank you.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I'm very sorry, Dan.

That's when we rely
on the ones we love to pull us back...

... and give us something to hold on to.

Congratulations, congressman-elect.

Serena, thank you.

- Shouldn't you be in the ballroom?
- Probably.

- Where's your better half?
- I don't know.

I was looking for her...

...then I realized this might be
my last private moment for a while.

- Well, I can leave.
- That's okay. Stay. Please.

I'd love to have someone to sit with.
Not talking about politics...

...not talking about anything.

You wanna tell me about it?

No, I don't think you wanna hear
this one.

I do. We'll let your problem
be the first that I address...

...as your elected representative.

Okay, congressman. Ha, ha.

But I'm gonna warn you, this one
might need a special committee.

Wait, this sounds serious.
Bartender, I'll have what she's having.

I'll have another, please. Thank you.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Then there are the clearly marked lines.

The ones that if you dare cross,
you may never find your way back.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.

[ENGLISH - US - SDH]