Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 2, Episode 24 - Valley Girls - full transcript

Lily recalls her past when in a flashback to 1983, the naive and sheltered 17-year-old Lily Rhodes got kicked out of her Santa Barbara boarding school. She ran away to Los Angeles where she...

AND WHO AM I?

THAT'S A SECRET I'LL NEVER TELL.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.

YOU ASK YOURSELF
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE

LIFE IS SO STRANGE DESTINATION UNKNOWN

WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW

YOUR DESTINATION

AND SOMETHING COULD CHANGE

RHODES RECORDS. RICK RHODES' OFFICE.

HI. IS HE IN?



IT'S LILY.

WHO?

HIS DAUGHTER?

OH. AHEM. ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HEY, LIL. LONG TIME, BABE.

HI, DAD. I KNOW, UM,
WHICH IS WHY I WAS HOPING

THAT WE COULD,
LIKE, CATCH UP OR SOMETHING.

THERE'S SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

IS THERE ANY WAY THAT
YOU CAN, UH, HAVE LUNCH?

YOU'RE IN L. A.? WHY
AREN'T YOU IN SANTA BARBARA?

IN SCHOOL? WELL, WE CAN MAKE IT
A DINNER IF THAT'S BETTER FOR YOU.

I'M LEAVING FOR LONDON. BUT, LIL,
WHAT'S GOING ON? GEOFFREY'S? YOUR REGULAR
TABLE?

GREAT. OKAY, SEE YOU THEN. LOVE YOU.



MRS. BASS?

WE'RE HERE.

OH, YES. THANK YOU.

SERENA'S BEEN IN
JAIL FOR OVER FOUR HOURS.

SHE'S ALREADY SERVED MORE TIME

THAN NICOLE RICHIE
AND LINDSAY LOHAN COMBINED.

SHE'S A SOCIALITE MISTAKENLY
ACCUSED OF STEALING A BRACELET.

I DOUBT THEY'RE WORKING
HER OVER WITH THE PHONE BOOK.

WHEN I CALLED LILY,
SHE SAID SHE WAS ON HER WAY.

WHERE IS SHE? I JUST CAN'T
BELIEVE SHE HAD HER OWN DAUGHTER ARRESTED.

I MEAN, WHO DOES THAT?
SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER BEEN ARRESTED.

HELLO. I'M LILIAN BASS.

I'M HERE FOR MY
DAUGHTER, SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN.

SO WAS LILY BLOWN
AWAY? WELL, NOT REALLY.

YEAH, HE NEVER ACTUALLY, UH...
PROPOSED. MINOR DETAIL IN A PROPOSAL.

KINDA THE KEY INGREDIENT TO THE RECIPE.
SO HE CAME HOME AND WENT INTO HIS ROOM.

UH, WE HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM SINCE. AHEM. HEY, DAD.

OH, SO PROM TOMORROW NIGHT

WHAT DO YOU SAY? WE STAY IN, WATCH
SOME SCARY MOVIES? THE SCARIER THE BETTER.

ABSOLUTELY. YOU GUYS ARE
THE GOSSIP GIRL GENERATION.

DON'T EXPECT ME TO
BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED

IN THIS GOSSIP. UH, NOPE.
ONLY INTERESTED IN MY NIM CHOW.

SO TO ADD TO THE LILY
INTRIGUE OR POSSIBLY HELP EXPLAIN IT

I GOT A WEIRD CALL
ABOUT YOUR INVESTMENT.

THE MONEY'S GONE. IT'S OVER. REALLY?
'CAUSE, UH, SERENA HAD A PLAN TO GET IT ALL
BACK.

IT'S NO, LILY HAD A PLAN OF HER OWN.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I WAS
HOPING. YEAH, SHE HAD SERENA ARRESTED.

WHAT? WWHY?

I SUGGEST YOU KIDS STAY OUT OF IT.

LET THESE VAN DER WOODSEN
WOMEN FIGHT IT OUT THEMSELVES.

WOW.

YOU FORCED ME TO DO THIS. I
JUST HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON.

THAT MY MOM'S
CRAZIER THAN I EVER IMAGINED?

WELL, NO CRAZIER THAN YOU, MY DAUGHTER,

THINKING YOU COULD FIX THIS
SITUATION YOURSELF. I WAS FIXING THIS,

BUT THEN YOU WERE TOO WORRIED WHAT
PEOPLE WOULD THINK. WHEN YOU'RE A MOTHER,

YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU HAVE TO MAKE DECISIONS

THAT DON'T ALWAYS WIN
YOU POINTS FOR POPULARITY.

WHEN I'M A MOTHER, I
WILL BE NOTHING LIKE YOU.

YES, YOU SAY THAT NOW, BUT JUST WAIT.

I WOULD RATHER GIVE
MY KIDS UP FOR ADOPTION

THAN END UP LIKE YOU.

OH, WAIT. YOU DID THAT.

I CAME DOWN HERE

TO DROP THE CHARGES
AND PUT THIS BEHIND US.

PLEASE SHOW A LITTLE
RESPECT, AND I WILL STICK WITH MY PLAN.

I'LL JUST STICK TO MINE.

IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, YOU
WEREN'T MY PHONE CALL. OH, SO WHO WAS?

SHE CALLED ME, DARLING.

IRONIC, ISN'T IT?

IF ONLY SHE KNEW.

HEY, GRANDMA.

FOR THOSE WHO COMPLAIN
ABOUT THE YOUTH OF TODAY,

IF YOU THINK WE'RE BAD,

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN OUR PARENTS.

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH
AHMET WANTS TO GIVE HIM.

THE GUY CAN'T SING.

I'LL PAY FOR HIS PUBLISHING. GOODBYE.

HEY, BEAUTIFUL. YOU GET LOST?

I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
I COULDN'T FIND PARKING.

THAT'S WHAT THE VALET'S FOR. RIGHT, BUT
IT ALSO COSTS $2, AND I JUST SPENT THAT ON
GAS.

HERE TO HIT DAD UP FOR SOME CASH? WHAT?

NO.

SO, UM, CHRISTMAS WAS WEIRD WITHOUT YOU.

YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT
THE FOURTH QUARTER IS TO RETAIL.

SOMEBODY'S GOTTA KEEP
TOWER RECORDS IN BUSINESS.

BUT I WAS SORRY I COULDN'T BE THERE.

YEAH... UM, ABOUT THAT...

I'M NOT A HEADSHRINKER OR ANYTHING,

BUT I DO THINK THE SUDDEN UPROOTING

OF MY FAMILY FROM NEW YORK,

COUPLED WITH MY
PARENTS' TUMULTUOUS DIVORCE

MAY HAVE CONTRIBUTED
TO SOME RECENT DIFFICULTIES

THAT I MIGHT BE HAVING. YOU
GOT KICKED OUT OF BOARDING SCHOOL.

WHAT? WAIT, WAIT. HOW
DID YOU KNOW THAT? SHE TOLD ME.

MOM.

HELLO, LILY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

IF IT WAS UP TO YOUR FATHER,

THEY'D STOP ME AT THE COUNTY LINE,

BUT SANTA BARBARA'S REALLY ONLY A
PRISON IN MY MIND, GOOD TO SEE YOU, CECE.

WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME, RICHARD. YOU
HUNG UP THE PHONE WITH ME, AND YOU CALLED
HER?

YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE
ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.

THAT'S BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE TO PARENT,

AND WE KNOW HE
ALWAYS LEAVES BAD COP TO ME.

PUNISHING LOVED ONES JUST
COMES SO MUCH MORE NATURALLY

TO SOME PEOPLE. EXCUSE ME. MAY
I HAVE A GIN AND TONIC? NO TONIC.

I COME WITH SOME GOOD NEWS.

YOU'RE LETTING ME LIVE WITH DAD? NO WAY.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS
GONNA SAY. MY BAGS ARE IN THE CAR.

AND CAN I HAVE THE ROOM
THAT OVERLOOKS THE TENNIS COURTS?

I LOVE THAT ROOM. THANK YOU
FOR COMING ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE,

MOM, BUT I THINK THIS IS
ALL WORKED OUT, RIGHT? RICHARD?

LILY, THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD. IT'S JUST

ACTUALLY, YOUR FATHER
DID MAKE A CALL TO THE SCHOOL.

I TOLD 'EM WHAT HAD
BEEN HAPPENING AT HOME,

ABOUT YOUR SISTER TAKING
OFF, YOUR MOTHER AND I SPLITTING UP.

I EXPLAINED THAT IT WAS

AN ISOLATED,
UNCHARACTERISTIC ACT OF REBELLION.

THEY'RE WILLING TO TURN YOUR
EXPULSION INTO A SUSPENSION. WHAT?

YOU CAN BE BACK ON MONDAY.
BUT I WANTED TO GET EXPELLED.

LILY, WHATEVER FOR?
THAT SCHOOL HAS EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR DAD.

YOU'RE LIVING THIS
AMAZING NEW LIFE HERE,

AND I'M JUST SCARED
THAT BY THE TIME I GRADUATE,

I WON'T BE A PART OF IT ANYMORE.

AND WHAT IF YOU FORGET ABOUT ME?

LIL, YOU DO NOT HAVE
TO EVER WORRY ABOUT THAT.

I JUST HAVE A LOT
GOING ON RIGHT NOW WITH WORK.

I CAN'T GIVE YOU
THE TIME, THE SUPERVISION

THAT YOU NEED. JUST LIKE CLOCKWORK.

OKAY.

DAD.

I'M LATE. I'VE GOTTA
PACK, GET TO THE AIRPORT.

PUT LUNCH ON MY ACCOUNT.
I'LL TALK TO YOU SOON. DAD, NO.

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THAT?

DAD.

THANK YOU.

PLEASE DON'T WALK AWAY.

YOU NEED TO BE WITH YOUR MOTHER, LIL,

OUT OF THE CITY, IN SCHOOL.

WE CAN'T LET YOU
TURN OUT LIKE YOUR SISTER.

CAROL? YEAH, I THINK WE
CAN ALL AGREE ON THAT FRONT.

SHE RAN AWAY FROM
OUR FAMILY, AND FOR WHAT?

TO BECOME AN ACTRESS, WHICH
IS A COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC GOAL.

I MEAN, YEAH, SHE
WAS PRETTY GOOD AS ABIGAIL

IN THE CRUCIBLE, BUT
WHAT WAS THAT, LIKE, 11TH GRADE?

ANYWAY, THE POINT IS I'M NOT CAROL.

I DON'T CRAVE ADVENTURE OR THE FREEDOM

TO WALK MY OWN PATH.
I'M PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE

WITH THE PATH THAT YOU GUYS
HAVE LAID OUT FOR ME. GO HOME, LIL.

DAD, YOU HAVE A GIANT
HOUSE. I WON'T BE ANY TROUBLE.

I'LL CALL YOU WHEN
I GET BACK FROM LONDON.

I'M SORRY.

I LOVE YOU.

LILY, IT'S OVER.

LET'S GO HOME.

I'LL FOLLOW YOU BACK.

SEE YOU AT HOME.

ERIC AND I HAD THE
MOST INVIGORATING WALK

FROM THE HOTEL. YOU KNOW,
GRANDMA IS DECEPTIVELY QUICK.

OH, SHE'S PROBABLY
RACING BACK TO THAT BOTTLE OF GIN

SHE HAS HIDDEN UNDER THE
SINK IN THE BATHROOM. ZING.

GOOD MORNING TO YOU AS WELL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MOTHER?

I DON'T REMEMBER
INVITING YOU AS OUR GUEST.

I KNOW I HAVEN'T CALLED
YOU, AND I'M POSITIVE YOU HAVEN'T

SO MUCH AS RECEIVED A CHRISTMAS CARD

OR FRUITCAKE AT THE HOLIDAY. WELL,
YOU CAN BE THANKFUL FOR THE LAST ONE.

WHAT HAVE I DONE TO EARN YOUR IRE,
MY DEAR? WELL, LET ME THINK FOR A SECOND.

MAYBE TELLING RUFUS ABOUT OUR CHILD?

I'M SORRY IF I THOUGHT IT APPROPRIATE

THAT RUFUS LEARNS HE HAS A SON.

UH, YOU MEAN HAD.

HE DIED.

OH.

I HAD NO IDEA.

IMAGINE, SOMETHING YOU
DON'T KNOW. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'M GOING TO TAKE
SERENA BREAKFAST IN BED

SO I CAN START THE HEALING WITH MY DAUGHTER.
UH, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT A HOLD ON THE
HEALING.

SERENA'S NOT IN HER ROOM. WHAT? I
THOUGHT SHE WAS COMING HOME WITH YOU. WHERE IS
SHE?

WHY ARE YOU STILL IN JAIL?

IT'S MY CHOICE.

OH, GOD. YOU'RE NOT
GONNA COME OUT OF THERE

WITH A MULLET AND A GIRLFRIEND, ARE YOU?
MY MOTHER DIDN'T THINK THAT I WAS OLD
ENOUGH

TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS,
SO I DECIDED TO STAY IN JAIL,

AND I'M NOT LEAVING

UNTIL SHE AGREES TO LET ME LIVE MY
OWN LIFE. SO IT'S A WAR OF ATTRITION.

SO TO SPEAK.

EXCEPT SHE GETS TO
WAGE THE WAR FROM THE COMFORT

OF HER PENTHOUSE WHILE YOU REMAIN BEHIND BARS.
LOOK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. ENJOY PROM WITH
NATE,

LIKE YOU ALWAYS PLANNED

IN THAT SCRAPBOOK
THAT YOU KEPT UNDER YOUR BED.

PLEASE. I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.

I WAS A CHILD THEN.

I SHOULD GO. I DON'T WANT
TO ABUSE MY PHONE PRIVILEGES.

THE FACT THAT
YOU'RE ON AN ACTUAL PAY PHONE

HAS ME BEYOND NAUSEOUS.

STAY STRONG, S.

WHAT'S THIS FOR?
STRENGTH. YOU WILL NEED.

I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND
BAD NEWS. WHICH DO YOU WANT?

GOOD NEWS FIRST, ALWAYS.

THERE IS REPLACEMENT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IT MAKES MORE SENSE
IF YOU PICK BAD NEWS FIRST.

YOUR DRESS FOR PROM.

THE DRY CLEANERS THEY RUINED IT.

THIS BODY BAG. CORPSE NOT PRETTY.

BUT THERE'S A
REPLACEMENT. BACK TO GOOD NEWS.

THIS MORNING IT ARRIVED FROM PARIS.

JUST LIKE IN SCRAPBOOK.

OH! IT IS.

OH! JUST LIKE MY
SCRAPBOOK I DON'T REMEMBER KEEPING

AND HAVEN'T LOOKED AT
SINCE I WAS AN EARLY ADOLESCENT.

OH, IIT MUST BE FROM DADDY.

TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE MAGICAL.

YOU KNOW, PROM HASN'T
EXACTLY BEEN GOING AS PLANNED.

THE FLORISTS LOST BLAIR'S CORSAGE.

SOMEONE BOUGHT UP ALL THE PEONIES,

AND WHEN I CALLED TO CONFIRM MY LIMO,

IT HAD BEEN RENTED OUT BY A
BACHELORETTE PARTY IN JERSEY.
THE HEART QUICKENS.

YEAH, WELL, MY HOTEL
ROOM WAS MYSTERIOUSLY CANCELED,

AND NOW I JUST FOUND OUT
BLAIR'S DRESS HAS BEEN RUINED. HOW TRAGIC.

I GOTTA ASK...

AM I SABOTAGING YOUR DREAM PROM?

THE ANSWER IS NO, NATHANIEL.

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES

WE NEED TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION.

BLAIR IS YOURS.

OKAY.

OH, WHAT A RESTORATIVE NAP THAT WAS.

I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

WELL, I'M AFRAID THAT
MOMENT IS NOT GOING TO LAST.

ERIC OUT OF EARSHOT? I
SENT HIM TO A MOVIE WITH JONATHAN.

SO NO ONE CAN HEAR ME
SCREAM. YOU'RE GONNA WHAT, LILY,

HACK ME TO PIECES, SUFFOCATE ME WITH A
PILLOW? I AM SIMPLY AND FOR THE LAST
TIME

GONNA ASK YOU TO LEAVE
MY HOME AND NEVER COME BACK.

NEVER IS A, UH, VERY LONG TIME, DARLING.

YOU ARE TOXIC.

I'M YOUR MOTHER. AND A
MEMORABLE ONE AT THAT, SO MUCH SO IT SEEMS

THAT TRY AS I MIGHT, I CAN'T HELP
TURNING INTO YOU. WELL, MAYBE THAT'S 'CAUSE

YOU FINALLY ARE STARTING
TO SEE THE WISDOM OF MY WAYS.

YOU BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING. AND
YOU ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR NOTHING.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE CAROL'S RIGHT.

THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE IS
WITHOUT YOU IN IT. YOUR SISTER WAS
REBELLIOUS

AND UNGRATEFUL FOR MY
LOVE, AND LOOK WHERE SHE ENDED UP.

FROM WHERE I'M
SITTING, IT DOESN'T LOOK SO BAD.

I DON'T WANT YOU MEDDLING

WITH MY FAMILY OR
WITH MY LOVE LIFE ANYMORE.

I WANT YOU OUT. NOW.

HI. I'M LOOKING FOR MY
SISTER CAROL. CAROL RHODES.

UH, I THINK THAT
SHE WORKS HERE. IS SHE IN?

I'M COVERING FOUR EXTRA
TABLES TODAY, SO THAT'D BE NO.

FLAKING ON WORK THAT SEEMS LIKE CAROL.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE MIGHT BE?

HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, SPAZ.

YOU ALMOST GOT UDON ALL OVER MY GUCCI.

PERSONALLY, I DON'T SEE IT.

SEE WHAT?

THE FAMILY RESEMBLANCE.
TO CAROL? WAIT. YOU KNOW HER?

YEAH.

WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE MIGHT BE?

TRYING TO WORK HERE.
WELL, YOU MISSED A SPOT.

IT'S KINDA STICKY.

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

I'VE HAD A REALLY ROUGH
DAY. I GOT KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL,

MY DAD DOESN'T WANT ME TO LIVE WITH HIM,

I CAN'T STAND MY MOM, I
SPENT THE LAST $9 THAT I HAD ON GAS,

AND SO NOW I'M BROKE AND I'M HOMELESS,

AND UNLESS I CAN FIND
MY SISTER, WHO I BASICALLY

HAVEN'T TALKED TO IN, LIKE, A YEAR,

I'M GONNA HAVE TO BECOME A PROSTITUTE.

AND I DON'T EVEN
KNOW HOW TO BE A PROSTITUTE.

I MEAN, REALLY, HOW
MUCH SMALL TALK IS REQUIRED?

AND WHERE DO YOU EVEN
GO? AND ARE B. J. S A MUST?

BECAUSE IF THAT'S THE
CASE, I AM SO NOT DOING THAT.

NOT THAT ANY OF THAT
INFORMATION IS RELEVANT

UNLESS YOU'RE A JOHN. NOT A JOHN. OWEN.

LILY.

THERE'S A GIG AT THE 607 TONIGHT.

CHANCES ARE YOUR SISTER WILL BE THERE.

MY FRIEND'S KINDA
DATING HER. IF YOU WANNA GO...

ON A DOUBLE DATE? WITH A GUY

THAT I JUST MET FIVE
MINUTES AGO? YOU COULD BE A PSYCHO.

MY SHIFT ENDS IN TEN.
PROBABLY SEE YOUR SISTER.

DON'T WANT TO COME,
I'LL GIVE HER YOUR REGARDS

AND SUMMARIZE THE
WHOLE, UH, PROSTITUTE THING.

I COULD CHANGE.

I HAVE MY SUITCASE IN THE CAR.

YEAH. I'M JUST GUESSING,

BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA WORK.

YOU SHOULD TRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

YOUR SISTER'S ALWAYS
CHANGING FOR AUDITIONS AND STUFF.

WOW.

SHE'S REALLY CHANGED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE HAS THIS.

WE WENT ICE SKATING
AT ROCKEFELLER CENTER.

SHE SNUCK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE.

WE TOOK A BUS ACROSS
TOWN. MY MOM WAS SO FURIOUS.

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.

WE WERE, LIKE,

BEST FRIENDS.

YOU CAN GO NOW. ALREADY OUT THE DOOR.

OH, HELLO, DANIEL.

HEY. SO, UH, LOOK, I'M
REALLY SORRY TO BOTHER YOU,

BUT I CAN'T LEAVE
SERENA ONE MORE MESSAGE

AND STILL CALL MYSELF A MAN.

NOT THAT IT'S EXACTLY
MANLY TO BE CALLING HER MOTHER,

BUT IIII REALLY NEED TO KNOW,

UH, HOW MAD IS SHE?

OH, II WOULDN'T WORRY.

SHE HASN'T GOTTEN YOUR MESSAGES.

THEY TAKE YOUR CELL
PHONE AWAY WHEN YOU'RE IN JAIL.

WAIT.

SHE'S STILL IN JAIL?

HEY. I THINK I NEED A DRESS FOR PROM.

OKAY. BUT YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO WEAR YOUR OWN SHOES.

ON THE FLOORS OF TOKYO

ADOWN IN LONDON TOWN'S A GOGO

AWITH THE RECORD
SELECTION AND THE MIRROR'S REFLECTION

I'M ADANCING WITH MYSELF

OH, OH, DANCING WITH MYSELF

OH, OH, DANCING WITH MYSELF

IF I HAD THE
CHANCE, I'D ASK ONE TO DANCE

IF I HAD THE
CHANCE, I'D ASK ONE TO DANCE

OW

OH, OH, OH, OH

OH, OH, OH, OH

OH, OH, OH, OH

OH, OH, OH, DANCING WITH MYSELF

OH, OH, DANCING WITH MYSELF

OH, OH, DANCING WITH MYSELF

GET OUT, PERV! SORRY.

YOU'RE TAKING LONG ENOUGH.

DO I LOOKS LIKE I'M
WEARING A HALLOWEEN COSTUME?

NO.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

IS THIS THE MOMENT
WHERE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME?

OH, IT IS, ISN'T IT?

YOU'RE TOTALLY FALLING IN LOVE
WITH ME RIGHT NOW. ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?

? IF I HAD THE
CHANCE, I'D ASK ONE TO DANCE?

HELLO. I'D LIKE TO DROP

THE CHARGES AGAINST
SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN.

THERE'S BEEN A TERRIBLE MISUNDERSTANDING.
WELL, YOU CAN TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THE
CHARGES,

BUT YOUR DAUGHTER'S GONE.

OH, OH, DANCING WITH MYSELF

OH, OH, DANCING WITH MYSELF, OH, OH

STAND AND DELIVER!

I'M THE DANDY HIGHWAYMAN
WHO YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO MENTION

I SPEND MY CASH

ON LOOKING FLASH AND
GRABBING YOUR ATTENTION

THE DEVIL TAKE YOUR
STEREO AND YOUR RECORD COLLECTION

THE WAY YOU LOOK

YOU QUALIFY FOR
NEXT YEAR'S OLDAGE PENSION

STAND AND DELIVER

YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE

TRY AND USE A MIRROR

NO BULLET OR KNIFE

I'M THE DANDY
HIGHWAYMAN SO SICK OF EASY FASHION

WOW, YOU'RE, LIKE,
REALLY POPULAR AROUND HERE.

YEAH, WHEN YOU DON'T
HAVE A LOT OF FAMILY AT HOME,

YOU GOTTA FIND IT SOMEWHERE
ELSE.... NOTHING IS WORTH TAKING?

IT'S KIND OF TOUGH TO TELL A SCRUFF

THE BIG MISTAKE HE'S
MAKING, STAND AND DELIVER

YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE

IT'S KINDA COOL, RIGHT?

SURE. YEAH, COOL
PLACE TO CATCH HEPATITIS.

OWEN!

MISSED OUR SET, MAN! IT WAS AWESOME.

IT WAS LIKE... IT WAS
WICKED! HA HA! SHEP, HEY.

HEY, WHO'S THE
BETTY? THIS YOUR NEW GIRL? NO.

NO. WE'RE LOOKING FOR HER SISTER. NO TIME
TO TALK, GUYS. YOUR NEEDS ARE GONNA HAVE TO
WAIT.

I HAVE A PLAN. ACTUALLY,
YOU KNOW, IT'S MORE THAN A PLAN.

IT'S A MISSION. BUT
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT ME.

IT'S ABOUT MY LADY. SHE'S BEEN WRONGED,

AND I'M GONNA MAKE IT RIGHT.

WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOUR LADY, TATTOO
THE WRONG BUTT CHEEK? RANDY WALTER
SHEPPARD!

MY 20S ARE TICKING AWAY AS WE SPEAK,

AND WE GOTTA GO NOW!

CAROL! CAROL?

LILY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING WITH MY
SISTER? WHOA. WAIT. SHE'S YOUR SISTER?

SHE'S YOUR LADY? KIND OF.

NO! LILY, OH, MY GOD.
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOW DO YOU KNOW OWEN? I'M
SO SORRY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN MORE

OR CALLED, LIKE,
EVER. ARE YOU TOTALLY MAD?

WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN L. A.? IS SOMETHING WRONG?

IS EVERYTHING OKAY? YEAH. NO,
NOT REALLY. I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT SOMETHING, AND IT'S KIND OF
MAJOR. OKAY, AND I WANNA HEAR ABOUT
IT, I MEAN, TOTALLY THERE FOR YOU,

BUT RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO HANDLE
SOMETHING, AND IT CANNOT WAIT. I KNOW.

NEITHER CAN THIS. WE'LL TALK IN THE CAR.

TO THE IMPALA. TO THE WHAT? WHERE?

THE MISSION IS ON THE MOVE. OH,
MY GOD, LILY. IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

I'VE MISSED YOU. ARE YOU
WEARING MY DRESS? ? STAND AND DELIVER?

YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE

OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

I'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO MAKE MY LIFE

RESEMBLE THE MOVIE IN MY HEAD,

AND TONIGHT, NO EFFORT REQUIRED. VOIL?

VOTE FOR PROM KING AND QUEEN?

WE DON'T DO PROM QUEEN.
THAT'S FOR SUBURBAN SCHOOLS

AND THE LAME TEEN
COMEDIES THAT ARE SET AT THEM.

WE'RE DOING IT THIS YEAR.
THERE'S A TIARA AND EVERYTHING.

A TIARA?

BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO VOTE FOR YOURSELVES...

WE WERE NOMINATED. LET'S SEE.

I MEAN, OF COURSE WE WERE.

AW, YOU GUYS, I THINK I'M GETTING
SENTIMENTAL. IT'S TRUE. THIS IS
PROBABLY OUR LAST HUDDLE.

YEAH, IF YOU DO THIS STUFF IN COLLEGE,

PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE PATHOLOGICAL.

COME ON, LADIES.
LET'S COMMIT ELECTION FRAUD.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE BLAIR'S FACE

WHEN SHE LOSES PROM QUEEN TO NELLY.

AND LOOK, II KNOW
THIS THING WITH YOUR MOM

TOOK ON A LIFE OF ITS
OWN, BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY

THAT I'M SORRY FOR STARTING IT IN THE
FIRST PLACE. IT WAS JUST REALLY UPSETTING

THAT YOU WENT TO HER
WITHOUT GIVING ME A WARNING.

I KNOW, AND NORMALLY I
WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS,

BUT LILY IS NOT LIKE OTHER PARENTS. WITH
GOOD JUDGMENT, MORALS AND MATERNAL
INSTINCT?

AND WHEN SHE SAID THAT
SHE WAS GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT,

I NEVER IMAGINED THAT YOU'D END UP
INCARCERATED. THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART IS

SHE THINKS SHE DID TAKE CARE OF IT.

HEY, SOLDIER, EYES UP FRONT.

WELL, I'M, UH, I'M
GLAD YOU LET ME BAIL YOU OUT

OR LET ME CALL CECE
TO, 'CAUSE MISSING YOUR PROM

JUST TO SPITE YOUR OWN MOTHER IS
KINDA SOMETHING ONLY SHE WOULD DO, YEAH.

THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME TO SEE THAT,

AND THANK YOU FOR
BREAKING THE CYCLE OF CRAZY.

SO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
BEEMER THAT MOM AND DAD GOT YOU?

OH, I SOLD IT.

FOR THIS?

AS IF. I GAVE IT TO THIS GUY.

HE HAD THIS REALLY AMAZING IDEA.

IT GOES AROUND YOUR WAIST LIKE A BELT

SO YOU CAN PUT
STUFF IN IT, LIKE A PURSE.

WOW. THAT'S A REALLY SOUND INVESTMENT.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

NOTHING. NOTHING.

IT JUST YOUR LIFE ISN'T
EXACTLY HOW YOU DESCRIBED.

YOU TOLD MOM THAT YOU
WERE MAKING IT OUT IN L. A.

I AM MAKING IT. THIS IS
WHAT MAKING IT LOOKS LIKE...

BEFORE YOU'VE TOTALLY MADE IT.

CAROL, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT

THAT YOU WERE REALLY, REALLY TALENTED.

IT'S JUST IS IT REALLY WORTH...

LIVING YOUR LIFE, YOU KNOW...

LIKE THIS? WELL, IT'S NOT FOREVER.

NOT ONCE WE GET
SHEP'S MUSIC VIDEO ON MTV.

I'M TOTALLY THE STAR. A
MUSIC VIDEO EQUALS NATIONAL EXPOSURE.

IT'S THE BIRTH OF A NEW
ART FORM. REALLY? SHEP'S BAND?

OKAY, I KNOW YOU
PROBABLY WOULDN'T THINK SO

HAVING MET SHEP, BUT
THEY'RE ACTUALLY KINDA GREAT.

WELL, IF THEY'RE SO
GREAT, THEN WHY DON'T YOU

GIVE THEIR DEMO TO DAD? BECAUSE
HE'S DAD, AND I'M DOING THIS ON MY OWN.

LISTEN, DON'T TELL
ANYBODY ABOUT WHO WE ARE.

ESPECIALLY THEM. WHY
DO YOU CARE WHAT THEY THINK?

AND BESIDES, BEING US IS AWESOME. ALL
THAT MONEY COMES WITH STRINGS ATTACHED,
LILY.

PEOPLE TREAT YOU DIFFERENTLY.

YEAH, BETTER.

WOW. COULD YOU SOUND ANY MORE LIKE MOM?

OF COURSE I SOUND LIKE MOM.

SHE'S THE ONLY FEMALE ROLE
MODEL I'VE HAD SINCE YOU BAILED ON US.

HEY.

I THINK WE'RE HERE.

I NEVER WANTED TO BE LIKE MY MOTHER.

I WANTED TO BE OPEN TO LIFE AND FEARLESS

AND NOT ALWAYS THINKING
THREE STEPS AHEAD AND CONSEQUENCES

AND WHAT WOULD PEOPLE SAY
OR WHAT WOULD MY FATHER THINK.

WELL, YOU HAVE, FOR THE MOST PART,

WITH A FEW NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS.

THAT BEAUTIFUL DINNER YOU MADE

YOU WERE GONNA PROPOSE, WEREN'T YOU?

BUT YOU DIDN'T.

BECAUSE WHAT I DID TO SERENA
MADE YOU FUNDAMENTALLY QUESTION

THE KIND OF PERSON THAT I AM.
YOU'RE UNPREDICTABLE, THAT'S FOR SURE.

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,
THAT WAS DAMN EXCITING.

YOU WERE ALWAYS SURPRISING ME.

I'M JUST DOOMED TO
REPEAT MY MOTHER'S MISTAKES.

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THAT?

DAD, WAIT. PLEASE DON'T WALK AWAY.

OUR MISTAKES ARE OURS
ALONE TO REPEAT... OR CORRECT.

I SHOULD FORGIVE SERENA FOR DEFYING ME.

OR FIRST MAYBE YOU NEED TO FORGIVE
CECE. OH, MY MOTHER DOESN'T NEED
FORGIVENESS.

SHE NEEDS ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY.
YOU'VE GOT GOOD REASON TO BE ANGRY WITH HER

THOSE MESSED UP VALUES SHE
PASSED ON TO YOU. I'LL FOLLOW YOU BACK.

UNTIL YOU LET IT GO,

HOW CAN YOU MOVE
FORWARD WITH YOUR OWN DAUGHTER?

CECE'S NEVER GONNA CHANGE, LIL.

BUT YOU STILL CAN.

THANK YOU, RUFUS.

I'M GLAD WE CAN TALK,
BUT AS FOR EVERYTHING ELSE,

I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHERE WE STAND RIGHT NOW.

EVEN AFTER 20 YEARS,

YOU'RE STILL NOT SURE WHO I AM.

IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT SURE.

IT'S JUST, I THINK
YOU'RE STILL FIGURING IT OUT.

AH.

AND SHE STICKS THE LANDING.

SO IS INFORMATION ON THIS MISSION

REVEALED ON A NEEDTOKNOW BASIS?

BECAUSE I REALLY NEED TO KNOW. CAROL.

THE SOCALLED DIRECTOR OF OUR MUSIC VIDEO

TOOK OUR MONEY AND
THEN JACKED UP HIS FEE,

AND NOW HE'S HOLDING OUR VIDEO HOSTAGE,

AND I AM A HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR. YEAH,
JUST 'CAUSE THIS DORK'S UNCLE IS JOHN
LANDIS

DOESN'T MEAN HE'S ABOVE THE LAW.

NO RICHIE RICH FILM SCHOOL KID RIPS
OFF ME AND MY GIRL. SHEP, I'M NOT YOUR
GIRL.

RIGHT. SHE'S MORE LIKE MY MUSE.

OH, SWEET HAND TOWELS.

SO ARE WE, LIKE, BREAKING AND ENTERING?

SERIOUSLY? THE WINDOW WAS UNLOCKED,

SO REALLY, IT'S JUST... ENTERING.

AND I THOUGHT INVESTING IN PURSE
BELTS WAS A BAD IDEA. THANKS, LILY.

SINCE I KNOW HOW MUCH
YOU LOVE FOLLOWING THE RULES,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY
HERE, FAR AWAY FROM THE PARTY,

WHERE PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY HAVING FUN?

OWEN, CAN YOU KEEP AN EYE ON HER?

WHAT? JUST BECAUSE
MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME

ISN'T GETTING ARRESTED FOR
BREAKING INTO SOME GUY'S HOUSE,

I'M AUTOMATICALLY A
STUCKUP GOODY TWOSHOES?

IT DOESN'T EXACTLY MAKE
YOU THE LIFE OF THE PARTY.

WHERE'S THE BAR?

I THINK IT'S THIS WAY.

YOU MADE IT! YEAH! THERE
WAS A LAST MINUTE CHANGE OF PLANS.

YEAH, I SPRUNG HER OUT OF THE POKEY.

YOU CAN THANK ME LATER. WELL, I
JUST SPENT TEN SECONDS TALKING TO YOU,

SO CONSIDER YOURSELF REPAID. HAVE FUN.

SO, YOU KNOW,

NOT THAT I IMAGINED, UH,
MUCH ABOUT MY TIME AT PROM,

BUT, UM... IT MEASURES UP.

DID YOU EVER IMAGINE
YOURSELF DANCING AT PROM?

THAT I DID. WELL, I AM
HERE TO MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE.

COME DANCE WITH ME.
BAILING YOU OUT OF PRISON

AND DANCING WITH YOU AT
PROM IN ONE NIGHT? THAT'S...

YEAH, I'M HERE TO
MAKE THINGS INTERESTING.

WE CAN DANCE IF WE WANT TO

WE CAN LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND

'CAUSE YOUR FRIENDS DON'T
DANCE AND IF THEY DON'T DANCE

? WELL, THEY'RE NO FRIENDS OF MINE

I SAY, WE CAN GO WHEN WE WANT TO

A PLACE WHERE THEY WILL NEVER FIND

AND WE CAN ACT LIKE WE
COME FROM OUT OF THIS WORLD

LEAVE THE REAL ONE FAR BEHIND

HEY, VAN DER WOODSEN, YOU WANT SOME?

HEY, KEITH!

SURPRISED TO SEE ME?

CAROL. HEY.

WOW. YOU, UH,

YOU LOOK AMAZING.

REALLY? EVEN MORE AMAZING
THAN IN THE VIDEO YOU WON'T GIVE US?

LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. I JUST, UH,

I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY
OTHER WAY TO GET YOU TO CALL ME

SO I COULD EXPLAIN YOU HAVE A
GIRLFRIEND. NOTHING ELSE TO EXPLAIN.

I JUST WANT THE VIDEO.

HEY. WHO IS THIS?

IS SHE AVAILABLE?

NAH, MAN.

NAH, SHE, UH, SHE WAS JUST LEAVING.

NO, I WASN'T.

WE WALK TOGETHER,
WE'RE WALKING DOWN THE STREET

I JUST CAN'T GET
ENOUGH, I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH

IT'S GETTING HOTTER

IT'S OUR BURNING
LOVE, AND I JUST CAN'T SEEM...

OH!

TO GET ENOUGH, AH

OH, IS THIS THE MOMENT
WHERE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME?

IT IS, ISN'T IT?

YOU'RE TOTALLY FALLING
IN LOVE WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

SPARE ME, KEITH!

THIS IS LOW, EVEN FOR YOU.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS, CHUCK.

YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT PROM
IS TO ME! BLAIR, WHAT'S WRONG?

I CAUGHT HIM WITH
THESE. THEY'RE ALL MARKED

WITH NELLY YUKI'S
NAME. HE'S SABOTAGING ME.

MY MISSING CORSAGE, MY
DRESS, THE LIMO AND HOTEL?

WE PAID YOU 500 BUCKS TO SHOOT THAT THING. WE
WERE FRIENDS THEN. I WAS GIVING YOU A SPECIAL
RATE.

OUR RELATIONSHIP'S CHANGED NOW.

YOU CAN PAY ME THE BALANCE IN CASH

OR... I DON'T KNOW...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING SATURDAY?

GROSS. MY SISTER
WOULD NEVER SLEEP WITH YOU.

YEAH, 'CAUSE SHE'S DATING ME.

SHEP, WE'RE NOT
DATING. WE WERE NEVER DATING.

WELL, BOTH OF YOU
DON'T KNOW CAROL VERY WELL,

'CAUSE, YEAH, SHE TOTALLY SLEPT WITH ME.

PRETTY FUN, TOO.

YOU SLEPT WITH YOUR MUSIC VIDEO
DIRECTOR? I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND,

AND I BROKE IT OFF
AS SOON AS I FOUND OUT.

BUT WHAT HE WANTS TO CHARGE US?

MIGHT AS WELL BE A MILLION BUCKS.

AND I KNOW YOU PROBABLY
THINK I SHOULD ASK MOM AND DAD

FOR THE MONEY, BUT...

WHATEVER. I'LL THINK
OF SOMETHING. IT'S FINE.

NO, CAROL. IT'S NOT FINE.

HI. I'M LILY
RHODES, AND THAT'S MY SISTER,

AND NO ONE TREATS US THIS WAY.

OKAY. WE ALREADY CALLED THE COPS, SO...

YOU GUYS ARE TRESPASSING.

IT'S COOL, OKAY? WE'RE DONE HERE.

FINALLY.

TAKE THE TRASH BACK TO THE VALLEY.

WHAT DID YOU JUST
SAY? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO,

LIKE GET YOUR BUTT TATTOOED?

THE ONLY TATTOO I'M GETTING
TONIGHT IS YOUR FACE ON MY FIST.

LADIES, COME ON. NO
NEED TO FIGHT OVER ME.

OKAY. OKAY.

HOW ABOUT WE JUST FIGHT YOU?

I GOT HIM. LILY. COME ON.

GO, GO, GO. GET 'EM!

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

CAROL!

OH! HEY! LEAVE HIM ALONE! AAH!

STUDENTS, IF I COULD
HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AT CONSTANCE,

OUR PROM QUEEN IS...

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
NOT EVEN DEFENDING YOURSELF.

LIE TO MY FACE!
BLAME SOMEONE! SOMETHING!

I'M SORRY. JUST ONE MOMENT.

SERIOUSLY? I KNOW HOW TO COUNT.

OUR PROM QUEEN IS...

BLAIR WALDORF.

BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

OH, MY GOD. I WON.

THIS IS MY MOMENT.

I OWN PROM.

AND OUR KING

NATE ARCHIBALD.

OH, MY GOSH!

THIS IS SO GREAT!

THANK YOU!

OH. THANKS.

THANK YOU, EVERYONE.

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE BLAIR
WON. YEAH, WHO EVEN VOTED FOR HER?

ME. ABOUT 150 TIMES.

I WASN'T PUTTING
THE NELLY YUKI BALLOTS IN.

I WAS TAKING THEM OUT. BUT WHAT
ABOUT WHAT SHE SAID YOU DID TO HER LIMO

AND HOTEL AND HER CORSAGE? HER
NEW DRESS LOOKS BETTER WITHOUT IT.

GIVE THIS TO HER.

IT'S TO THE PENTHOUSE AT THE PLAZA.

YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE

WHO KNEW ABOUT THE SCRAPBOOK, DID YOU?

CHUCK, I...

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT...

THAT WAS REALLY SWEET.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE
SURE SHE HAD THE PERFECT NIGHT.

YOUR 2009 KING AND QUEEN!

AW, WHO KNEW THE MOTHERCHUCKER

COULD ALSO PLAY FAIRY GODMOTHER?

BUT IF C. JUST MADE
B. 'S DREAMS COME TRUE,

WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE

OUR QUEEN IS
STANDING WITH THE WRONG KING?

YOU CAN'T USE THE ONE

YOU ALREADY HAVE ON FILE?

WAIT. LET ME AT LEAST FIX MY MAKEUP.

ARE YOU READY TO DO THE WORKOUT?

YEAH! BEGINNER'S WORKOUT.
STAND WITH YOUR FEET A LITTLE MORE...

JAIL?

YOU'RE IN JAIL?

I KNOW, MOM. I'M SORRY. YOU
KNOW, IF I WAS A BETTER MOTHER,

I'D LEAVE YOU IN THERE,
TEACH YOU A LESSON. YOU RAN AWAY.

YOU JUST ABANDONED ME AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
YOU KNOW THEY ONLY GIVE YOU ONE PHONE CALL,
RIGHT?

OH, LILY, THE HOPES
AND DREAMS I HAVE FOR YOU

AN IVY LEAGUE EDUCATION,
LIFE ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE,

MARRIED TO THE RICHEST
MAN SEE, THAT'S THE THING, MOM

THOSE ARE YOUR HOPE
AND YOUR DREAMS, NOT MINE.

I NEED TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT WHAT I WANT, WHAT I NEED.

LIKE A PAROLE
OFFICER? I'M GETTING IN THE CAR.

YOU NEED TO BE FAR AWAY
FROM YOUR SISTER'S INFLUENCE.

WHY? WHAT'S WRONG WITH CAROL?
THE FACT THAT SHE'S INDEPENDENT?

THAT SHE THINKS FOR
HERSELF? THAT SHE DOES WHAT SHE WANTS

AND NOT WHAT OTHER
PEOPLE TELL HER TO DO?

HOW ABOUT YOUR SPARE ME THE HEARTACHE

AND YOURSELF THE HUMILIATION

AND GIVE UP ON THIS
FAILED EXPERIMENT IN REBELLION?

WHAT IF THIS IS NOT AN EXPERIMENT?

WHAT ABOUT IF THIS IS ME GROWING UP?

ENOUGH SOUL SEARCHING. I'M
CALLING YOUR FATHER'S LAWYER.

WE NEED TO KEEP THIS
THING OUT OF THE PAPERS.

PLEASE, MOM, I DON'T NEED A PUBLICIST.

I NEED MY MOTHER.

I'M TRYING TO TALK TO
YOU HERE, AND YOU'RE NOT...

HEY, MOM. GOT A SEC?

CAROL.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE

TO BE A BIG SISTER

AND FINALLY OFFER SOME
ACTUAL GUIDANCE TO LILY, ADVICE.

HER FUTURE'S AT STAKE.

WHICH IS WHY SHE
NEEDS TO BE FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE, MOM.

LILY'S STAYING WITH ME FOR A
WHILE. CAROL, JUST BE REASONABLE.

WE BOTH KNOW THE FIRST
TIME THAT SHE BREAKS A NAIL,

RIDES A CITY BUS

OR GOD FORBID ACTUALLY
STEPS FOOT IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL,

SHE'LL COME RUNNING HOME. WELL,
THAT'S REALLY UP TO LILY, NOW ISN'T IT?

JUST TELL HER TO SIT
TIGHT. I'M COMING FOR HER.

NO, MOM. YOU SIT
TIGHT. SHE'LL CALL YOU LATER.

OH, GOODNESS.

MOTHER. MOM.

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE
CHASING ME OUT OF TOWN.

I'M FLEEING AS FAST AS I CAN.

WELL, PLEASE STOP.
I'M NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE,

BUT I LOVE YOU, AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

WELL, OF COURSE I LOVE YOU,

MY DAUGHTERS, MY GRANDCHILDREN.

MY ONLY MOTIVATION
IS LOVE. ON THE CONTRARY.

YOUR MOTIVES ARE
QUITE SUSPECT, SELFISH EVEN.

AND YOU HAVEN'T
ALWAYS DONE WHAT'S BEST FOR ME.

WELL, I'VE DONE THE VERY BEST I COULD.

YOU THINK SERENA'S A HANDFUL?

I WOULD RATHER HAVE 20
DAN HUMPHREYS FROM BROOKLYN

INSTEAD OF THAT BOY
YOU LOVED FROM THE VALLEY.

WELL, YOU TOOK CARE OF THAT, DIDN'T YOU?

AND YOU ENDED UP WITH SERENA AND ERIC

AND THE LIFE YOU DESERVE. IT WASN'T UP TO
YOU TO DECIDE WHAT KIND OF LIFE I SHOULD
HAVE.

WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN TO BE A MOTHER

THAN TO MAKE SURE THAT
YOUR CHILD FULFILLS HER DESTINY?

WELL, I WANTED TO CREATE MY OWN DESTINY.

BUT THAT WOULD HAVE MEANT LOSING YOU,

AND I WAS ALWAYS TOO AFRAID TO DO
THAT. UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON, EVIDENTLY.

MOTHER, PLEASE, I'M
JUST ASKING YOU TO STAY.

YOU KNOW, BEING A
MOTHER MYSELF, I'VE MADE MISTAKES

THAT RIVAL IF NOT OUTSHINE YOUR OWN.

AND I FORGIVE YOU.

LUCKY ME.

YOU THROW ME OUT OF
YOUR HOME, AND I GET FORGIVEN.

MOTHER, JUST SAY
THANK YOU AND GIVE ME A HUG.

I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT GONNA THANK YOU

FOR THE TERRIBLE THINGS YOU SAID.

AND AS FAR AS THE HUG GOES,

WELL, YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE
EXACTLY AS YOU PLEASED, HAVEN'T YOU?

HEY. YOU OKAY?

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE
THE HAPPIEST DAY IN HIGH SCHOOL.

SO WHY DO I FEEL SO SAD?

LIKE SOMETHING'S ENDING?

WELL, SOMETHING IS ENDING

HIGH SCHOOL.

NOT JUST SCHOOL.

YOU'RE MY FIRST LOVE.

GOING TO MY SENIOR PROM WITH YOU

IS SOMETHING I'VE
WANTED SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.

AND HERE WE ARE,

LIKE IT WAS MEANT TO BE.

YES. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

I'M SURE OF IT.

BUT NOW IT HAS AND

WHY ARE YOU TALKING IN THE PAST TENSE?

WE'RE STILL HERE.

I KNOW.

BUT THIS NIGHT
ALREADY FEELS LIKE A MEMORY.

JUST HOLD ME...

UNTIL THE SONG'S OVER.

LET'S NOT WASTE THESE
LAST MOMENTS TALKING ABOUT IT.

OKAY.

BUT TONIGHT WE FEEL LIKE WE'RE STARS

WE'LL PLAY OUR AIR
GUITARS, 'CAUSE WE'RE 18

IT'S A PERFECT NIGHT

TO SING OUR PROM THEME

HEY.

THERE YOU ARE.

WHERE'S THE PROM KING?

WE BROKE UP.

WHAT?

BUT EVERYTHING WAS SO PERFECT.

IT WAS LIKE A FAIRY TALE.

IT TURNS OUT FAIRY TALES
END WHEN THEY DO FOR A REASON.

I REALLY WANTED TO GO TO
PROM WITH MY HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND.

AND... NOW THAT I HAVE...

HE FEELS LIKE YOUR
HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND.

I'M SORRY.

ME, TOO

THAT YOU ALMOST MISSED PROM

BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER HAD YOU ARRESTED...

AND YOUR QUASI HALFBROTHER/EXBOYFRIEND

WAS YOUR PROM DATE.

YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY
HAD A LOT OF FUN TONIGHT.

DAN AND I MADE UP, AND I
KNOW THAT WHATEVER MY MOTHER DID,

SHE DID OUT OF LOVE.

AND RIGHT NOW, I AM WITH
EXACTLY WHO I WANT TO BE WITH

MY BEST FRIEND.

SO THANK YOU.

WELL, IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO

SINCE I GOT YOU ARRESTED AND EVERYTHING.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SUCH A BRAWLER.

NEITHER DID I.

I LEARNED SOME THINGS LAST NIGHT...

THE BIGGEST ONE BEING...

THAT I'VE REALLY MISSED YOU.

YOU ARE HIGH SCHOOL TO ME

ALL OF THE BOYFRIENDS

AND MEAN GIRLS AND
AND TESTS AND TEACHERS

AND OUR CRAZY MOTHERS...

WE WENT THROUGH IT TOGETHER.

WE RAISED EACH OTHER.

YOU'RE MY SISTER.

SO WHERE'S YOUR CAR?

HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT YOU OUT OF HERE?

YOU SOLD YOUR CAR?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WE'RE GONNA WALK?

WALKING IN L. A.? WOW, SIS.

I HAVE SO MUCH MORE
TO TEACH YOU. COME ON.

IT'S US. WE TRAVEL IN
STYLE NO MATTER HOW WE TRAVEL.

DOOTDOOT

DOOTDOOT

DOOTDOOT

DOOTDOOT

SHOULDER PADS MAY COME AND
GO, BUT A B. F. F. IS FOREVER...

BECAUSE EVEN WHEN YOU'RE
NOT SURE WHERE YOU'RE HEADED,

IT HELPS TO KNOW
YOU'RE NOT GOING THERE ALONE.

NO ONE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS,

AND SOMETIMES THE BEST
WE CAN DO IS JUST APOLOGIZE

AND LET THE PAST BE THE PAST.

OTHER TIMES, WE
NEED TO LOOK TO THE FUTURE

AND KNOW THAT EVEN WHEN
WE THINK WE'VE SEEN IT ALL,

LIFE CAN STILL SURPRISE US,

AND WE CAN STILL SURPRISE OURSELVES.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.