Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 2, Episode 16 - You've Got Yale! - full transcript

GOSSIP GIRL: Gossip Girl here,
your one and only source...

...into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

I've decided to
take over Bass Industries.

There is one stipulation, that should you
in any way act inappropriately...

...the board has the option
to replace you with your legal guardian.

Which, wouldn't you know, is me.

I had trouble with the idea
of Mom and Rufus dating...

...but now I share a sibling
with my boyfriend?

LILY: Maybe we weren't
meant to be a family.

MAN [OVER PHONE]:
Serena, Dean Berube.

I'd like to issue a press release that you
came up to visit our glorious campus.



Princeton is a trade school.
There is only Yale.

He said that Yale could really use
a girl like Blair Waldorf.

Oh, B, I'm so happy for you.

WOMAN:
Where has she been?

GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

True love and betrayal.
Revenge and more revenge.

A heroine with an impossible goal.

If only Mozart had lived
on the Upper East Side.

HAROLD:
Blair-bear, you'll be late.

GOSSIP GIRL: But you can keep
your magic flute, Amadeus.

All this queen wants
is a golden ticket to Yale.



- You look like a firing squad.
- More like a welcoming committee.

It's the big day.

It's all the color of Yale, you see?

That's just what I need to perk me up.
I couldn't sleep a wink.

We know. We heard you watching
Gilmore Girls all night, again.

I am so a better fit for Yale
than that Rory.

[ANIMAL WHIMPERS]

Dorota, don't be sad.
I'm not going anywhere for six months.

That wasn't Dorota, dear.

That was Handsome Dan.

Oh.

- Look at him.
- Yeah. He's a gift from all of us.

He's the Yale mascot, a bulldog.
Just like you after today.

I don't know about the name.
Just call him Handsome.

You're adorable.

Yes, just don't look behind sofa.

No, you're a shoo-in, darling.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

A shoo-in. The personal letter I wrote
to Dean Berube should simply cinch it.

We will celebrate tonight at the opera
with champagne at all intermissions.

We will be so drunk by the time
someone dies, we will just laugh.

Is Chuck joining us?

You know how he loves
a good tragedy.

Yes, where is Mr. Chuck?

I wouldn't know, and I don't care.

He's as dead to me
as his father is to him.

More blueberries.

Yale day. Good morning.

I thought we could
walk to school together.

I keep telling myself everything
happens for a reason.

I'll end up in the right place.

- But what if I don't get in?
- Forget you.

- What if I do and Blair doesn't?
- Fire and brimstone...

...and a lot of bitchy asides?
Death by Dorota. Thanks.

You don't have to worry either.

Blair's a lock.
The dean told her as much, right?

Yeah. Yeah, Yale is good, we're good.
Everything will be fine.

You're referring to
the recent "not fun" event...

...also known as the:

"You two share a brother,
oh, no, you don't" roller coaster.

Not to be outdone
by the Tilt-A-Whirl called:

"Discovering this fact has only served as
bringing Rufus and Lily closer than ever."

Getting in Yale will change our lives. It'll
give us a chance to reinvent ourselves.

Yeah. Yeah, and in the meantime...

...at least our parents
are keeping it on the down low.

- Yeah.
- Rufus, stop it.

Oh, hello.

I was planning on sneaking out
before anyone got up.

- But Lily and I got to bed so late--
- Oh, you-- That's-- Just stop there.

Right.

Well, now that this is all out in the open,
maybe we can stop sneaking around.

I mean, we've had the awkward run-in,
and it isn't so bad.

I don't know why we thought
this would be so weird.

- Let's leave, now.
- Nice try, Mom.

- Yeah, seriously good effort.
- So I was thinking, tonight--

More than four hours sleep?

That, and there is
a charity gala at the opera.

- A full 12 hours then?
- Everyone will be there.

It's the event of the season.

I'm really feeling ready
to get back to the world.

Aren't you worried about
people seeing us?

The kids know,
why shouldn't the world?

And we might as well
make our society debut in style.

I was trying to get out of
the opera part. Not a fan.

Well, you can become one tonight.

I would say, "Get a room,"
but yours is right above mine.

Please try to remember that.

Oh, God.

CHUCK: No, I told you.
Under 18, and I want verification.

I don't care where you have to
import them from...

...I want them young and unstable.

You can cancel that order.
I already ate.

I'll get right back to you.

Your bush league attempts
to take me down, they're getting boring.

Although, having the freshman class
of Brearley...

...hold their annual sleepover
in my hotel room, that was a nice touch.

By the way, don't be alarmed, but
our stock might take a little dip today.

- I'm still adjusting to the learning curve.
- What you're doing is trying too hard.

You're obviously
not cut out for the job...

...which is why Bart
never let you out of the outback.

- You should be more careful.
- Or what?

It's my company now, kid.
You saw to that.

Will the board and I
be seeing you at the opera tonight?

Even though you're no longer in charge,
you are the public face of the company.

It's important you display it,
show there's no hard feelings.

Maybe I'll show them
they made the wrong choice instead?

Oh, wait, you're already
doing that for me, aren't you?

No matter. We probably won't be
seeing much of each other anyway.

I'll be in your father's seats,
and you'll be, well, somewhere else.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

DAN: Who's the new kid?
- That kid is my Shakespeare teacher.

- Ms. Carr.
- That's Ms. Carr?

Does she have
Benjamin Button syndrome?

- Here, let us help you.
- Oh, thank you, Serena.

Holding a door
never occurred to anybody.

Not on the Upper East Side.
These kids never touch a door.

They just magically open for them,
don't they?

Oh, this is my boyfriend,
Dan Humphrey.

- Hi.
- Dan, this is Ms. Carr.

- She's my favorite new teacher.
DAN: I've heard a lot about you.

- I wasn't expecting you to look--
- Out of place?

- Young. You could pass for a student.
- Well, I was, until recently.

I've been doing Teach For America
for two years in Alabama.

My first salary job.
I'd never even been to New York.

- It's a lot different than Des Moines.
- My family is in the hotel business.

The Palace is a wonderful place
to get away from noise.

If you're in Brooklyn, my dad
has a gallery that has a cool caf?.

Brooklyn, that's the place
across the bridge, right?

Yeah. You'll fit in just fine here.

- Don't let the city get to you.
- See you third period.

- Nice meeting you, Daniel.
DAN: Nice meeting you, Ms. Carr.

- So good luck today.
- You too.

May the best get in.

Refresh, refresh, refresh.
That's not my Eli account.

No, it's mine.
I applied to Yale too, remember?

But your application
was merely a formality...

...to appease your overbearing parents.

You know there's no way
Yale is going to accept someone...

...who got a 2360 on her SAT.
So give up and go for the gold. My gold.

Refresh.

Hey, are you going
to the opera thing tonight?

- Um, yeah, Serena's taking me.
- Yeah? I might go too.

You know, for a while,
I couldn't take Vanessa anywhere nice...

...because of the whole
no money thing.

But I saw a DVD of
the Ring cycle at her house...

...figured she'd like
champagne in my family's box.

Yeah, that's good.
Don't tell her you saw that DVD though.

I pointed it out and she made me
watch the whole thing.

If you've seen A Clockwork Orange,
you know the end.

Wait, what's A Clockwork Orange?

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Charles, I didn't expect
to see you today.

Or ever, if I had it my way.

Yes, well, I missed you too.

I'm trying to do something.

I really wanted to do it on my own,
but that's not working.

I'm thinking you're the only person left
who can help.

What do you say?

- What are you guys doing?
- Shh. Don't talk to them, they're working.

Refresh.

- Oh--
- My--

- God.
- What? What is it?

[CELL PHONE BEEPING]

I'm sorry, I simply can't read it,
the font's too small.

I'll have to check it
on a real computer.

It says wait-listed. In bold.

DAN: I got in, I did it.
- Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe it. Did you?

Um...

No. No, no.
Um, I'm wait-listed, just like Blair.

Don't worry, you'll get in.
We'll be together.

Even if you have to wait
to find out for sure...

...it's all good. Or, it will be.
- Yeah, I know it will.

BLAIR:
I need to see the headmistress.

Right now!

GOSSIP GIRL: They say that it's not over
till the fat lady sings.

But who's that I hear
tuning up in the wings?

Sorry, B, I think it's curtains.

All my usual moves haven't worked.

Jack is blood.

He thinks too much like me,
sees me coming.

And the way he's running the business, I
worry everything my father worked for...

...will be lost.

Since you're part of the company now,
I thought you might care.

I do care, Charles. But my concern
is for you, not the company.

You're living alone.
Why don't you move back in here?

- Make it easier to work.
- I'm not interested in a family reunion...

...nor in assuaging your guilt
over my father's death.

- Do you believe in my cause or not?
- I do.

But your shenanigans?
Planting coke in his gym bag...

...ambushing him
with a transsexual hooker--

Two. They owed me a favor.

Will only cast a negative light on you
in the board's eyes.

- I don't care about the board anymore.
- You should. You need them.

So let me help you
by handling this like a grownup.

My 20 percent stake in Bass Industries
must count for something.

And when I'm done, perhaps
you'll reconsider your living situation.

Don't hold your breath.

Meet me here at 2?

BLAIR:
How did this happen?

Dean Berube said I was a perfect fit.

His exact words were:

"Yale could use a girl
like Blair Waldorf."

Apparently they found
one somewhere else.

Calm yourself.

When I spoke to Dean Berube
this morning...

...he assured me that if the accepted
student turns them down...

...you are next in line.

Dan Humphrey?

He's like a cafeteria lady
who won the lottery.

You couldn't pry that acceptance
from him...

...with the jaws of life.
- I wasn't speaking about Mr. Humphrey.

Someone from Constance got in?

Blair, in our school's history,
most wait-listed students...

...ultimately get into
the college of their choice.

Your transcript
is a series of unblemished A's.

All you have to do is keep up your GPA
and you'll get in.

I know that patience and trust
aren't necessarily your strong suits...

...but you'll just have to
rise to the occasion.

Thank you. I'm sure I can do that.

Just tell me who got in.

- You got in? Congratulations.
- Oh, shh. Don't say it too loud.

I haven't told anyone yet.
Not even Dan. Especially not Blair.

- Well, why not?
- Oh, I couldn't.

She was wait-listed,
it would have been a disaster.

A word of unsolicited advice?

It sounds like you're
worrying about other people...

...when this is a decision about you.

Do you want Yale?

Do you know you're the first person
that's ever asked me that?

The truth is, I don't know.

The reason I went there
in the first place was because of Blair...

...and then I applied because of Dan.

Honestly, I think Yale might be
accepting me for the wrong reasons.

I would never advise anyone
to turn down a great opportunity...

...but being at the right school for you
is the most important thing.

Serena. Did you hear someone
from Constance got in?

I bet it's that little Nelly.

When I find her,
she's not gonna know--

- Hello.
- Blair, I missed you first period.

- I had a meeting.
- You also missed getting this back.

- I'll talk to you later, Serena.
- Bye.

Well, if you're on a witch-hunt, that
means you can't be too upset, right?

Witch-hunts are my Valium, Serena.
I'm just trying to stay calm.

What about you?

I have to say, I'm totally surprised
Yale passed up the PR...

...of accepting "It Girl"
Serena van der Woodsen.

They have more class than I thought.

Well, like you pointed out,
they didn't want me for me.

Dan must be pissed.

His hope of arriving on campus
with cachet has been shot to hell.

Now he'll just be lumped in with the rest
of the financial aid-iots and poets.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

I have to go.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

- Hello?
WOMAN: Miss van der Woodsen...

...this is Shirley
from Dean Berube's office.

The dean would love to issue
a press release...

...you'll be joining Yale's freshman class,
assuming you're accepting.

Would you mind?

Miss van der Woodsen?

I'm gonna have to call you back.

Charles has left us no choice.

We wish you'd been
left in charge of the company.

- But that's not how it laid out.
- Surely there must be something--

Jack is Charles' guardian,
the contract states...

...his guardian has control.

Short of being able to prove
he's completely negligent...

...all we can do is our best
to temper his actions.

Oh. A minority shareholders' meeting.

We were just finishing up.

- See you soon, I hope, Lillian?
- Yes, Peter, I'd like that.

Had I known my own personal Mata Hari
was here, I would have come sooner.

Yes, well, I was just being brought up to
date on your progress, or lack thereof.

I'll right myself eventually.
I just have to get my legs under me.

Maybe the two of us could
come together in some way...

...help me find my strength?

Or use it all up?

- What's that for?
- Your nose.

You don't seem worried about
the same morality clause...

...that cost Charles this company.

They won't touch me.

Although I may not be doing
a bang-up job yet...

...it beats having a woman
of your reputation at the helm.

- This is a B.
- Yes, it is.

You're new,
so you don't know how it works.

I have a feeling
you're about to explain.

Second-semester seniors get a pass...

...like pregnant ladies
or 14-year-old Chinese gymnasts.

Constance wants their students
in the best colleges...

...that's why this free pass exists.

The headmistress, if she knew about
this grade, she'd rap you on the wrist.

Maybe in time I'll get in trouble
for not inflating grades...

...like everyone else, Miss Waldorf, but
until then, I'll give them based on merit.

I need to keep my GPA perfect
to get into Yale.

You should have
thought of that before.

- What's wrong?
- I think I might have just lost Yale.

What am I gonna do?

I didn't apply anywhere else.

Just hold on a second.
There's a phone call I have to return.

The bastard is untouchable.

- What should we do?
- Time to get dirty. I'm all ears.

Let me educate you.

Did you really try to buy anthrax
with his credit card?

The black market
isn't what it used to be.

And you got him on Megan's List?

If only his apartment were
a few blocks closer to a playground.

I understand why
you're trying to do these things...

...but we have got to do something
that is not illegal.

I've put calls in to Jack's
business associates in Australia.

He's not the most upstanding citizen.
I'm sure we will find something.

Hey, now, l--

I thought I lost you
the day of the funeral.

And I'm sorry that Jack's
the one to bring us back together...

...but I'm glad that we're doing this.

If your people don't come up with
anything, maybe we can try number 26?

"Crash Jack in plane."

- The Bass jet is kind of expensive, Charles.
- There's insurance.

[RINGS]

Hello?

Yes. Yeah, that would be fine.
I can't really talk right now.

Yes, the opera has an early curtain.

[LAUGHS]

Rufus, stop it.

Okay, okay, I'll see you then.

- Bye.
- I can't believe you.

You're actually going to take your...

...half-price hustler out
on the town tonight?

I thought we were
putting this behind us, Charles.

I'm here to help you.

What part of dating someone a month
after my father's death is helping me?

You say you want to be family,
but if you really meant it...

...you wouldn't parade
your mistress in public.

You'd have some tact, some respect.

- This isn't about your father.
- I should've known from your history...

...I couldn't count on you.
You think of yourself.

Your kids and my dead father
are proof of that.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, Serena.
Hey. Hey, I was thinking...

...maybe we could go to Yale this
weekend. Get some hope into you.

- She's going down. I saw it, you guys.
PENELOPE: She's gonna go.

Would you excuse me for a second?

Not really.

I know that look. You're up to no good.

Good is subjective.
If you don't believe me, look it up.

You want to get Rachel back
for the grade.

A new teacher is like a child
to be taught.

- And spanked.
- And I can't risk not getting into Yale.

So it's open season on Miss Iowa.

Time to shuck the corn.

I wasn't supposed to say anything,
but you are going to Yale. You got in.

- An early admission.
- What?

- How do you know that?
- Because I declined my acceptance.

You're next in line.
They're gonna call you in a couple hours.

- You got in?
- You're the Constance student?

Cancel the Nelly Yuki project, now.

S, why would you turn down Yale?
And don't say for me...

...because even I wouldn't believe you.
- Why would you do that?

I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you.

You don't want to go?

No. No, I don't.

No, please, I'll see you later.

So you're not gonna
go after Rachel now, right?

What would be the point?

[NATE & VANESSA LAUGHING]

Okay, okay. Hey, so the reason
I asked you to come down--

- No, no, wait, me first.
- Okay.

Since you got your money back,
you've been taking me to do these...

...Archibald-y things, which I love.
I just can't keep up.

So I decided to do something for us.
We're going to the opera tonight.

- Wow. That is fantastic.
- They're nosebleed seats...

...but at least they're something.
And I got them.

So what did you bring me
here for anyway?

Well, there's no reason.
I just wanted to see you.

[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]

And then the Queen of the Night
sings this kick-ass aria:

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

"The vengeance of hell
boils in my heart."

- Lovely.
- It is.

It reaches a high F.
That never happens in operas.

That's a good fact,
talk about it at intermission.

You're gonna love The Magic Flute.
It's, uh-- Well, it's--

- It's okay, you can say it.
- Opera for amateurs.

If anybody asks you what you thought,
just tell them:

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

That's what Klaus used to say.

That and "Geh zum Teufel!"
But whatever you do, don't say that.

Okay, this is ridiculous.
Dad, Lily loves you...

...because you're not that guy.
- This feels different.

- You're letting it.
- No, he's right.

In our world, people say one thing,
but expect something else.

Hold your own, it'll go a long way
with my mom and her friends.

Everyone else can get some "Teufel,"
I just want to do right by her.

Let's talk singspiel, shall we?

Singspiel.

The devil would say
you're already in Yale.

You have security. Now more than ever,
you can do what you want.

And an angel would say
all the more reason not to.

You have what you want.

You don't have a perfect transcript.

But you don't need one. You're in. Ugh.

- I hate having to play the angel.
- I know. The devil is so much better.

So, B, who won?

Give me.

- Hello, Ms. Carr? It's Blair Waldorf.
- How did you get my number?

BLAIR: I wanted to apologize
for my behavior earlier.

I was hoping to move past it.

I'd like that too...

...but couldn't this have waited
till we saw each other?

That's why I'm calling.

Did you know the school has tickets
to the opera tonight?

- To the opera? No, I didn't know that.
- Oh, yes. It's a gala event.

My family, who's heard all about you,
asked if you could come to dinner...

...and then join us
in our grand-tier seats afterwards.

I don't think that's such a good idea
in light of today.

- Or at all.
- Nonsense. We have an extra ticket.

You're not gonna let
our little disagreement...

...stand in the way of the opera.

I have always wanted to go.

- Do you have a pen handy?
- Yeah.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Spotted: B, hot for teacher.

Too bad Ms. Carr doesn't remember
the devil's in the details.

What do you say,
the Boathouse in Central Park?

We meet at 6:30
and walk over for curtain at 8.

- Thank you. Sounds wonderful.
- Yes. Yes, it does.

[LAUGHING]

RUFUS: So if you get into Yale--
- Oh, and you go to Brown--

- You did still apply there, right?
- Yeah.

RUFUS: That means two trips for us.
LILY: Or one.

We could go to Providence first
and hit New Haven on the way back.

RUFUS: And stop at the
Newport Creamery for milkshakes.

We could take a week, take our time.
New England is so lovely in the fall.

- We could bring Jenny and Eric.
- That sounds great.

I can't wait.

- Box 2, Row 2. Two for you.
- Thanks.

You know what?
Uh, if you'll excuse me...

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Thank you. Am I glad to see you.

Serena and I had to meet up
with our parents.

It went from Family Ties to Faulkner
in one cocktail flat.

- Hey, you excited about your box?
- My what?

Oh, hey, we're on the third tier, actually.
Yeah, it's a better view and straight-on.

Oh, yeah, well, third tier's awesome.

VANESSA: What's going on here?
- Nothing. Nothing's going on.

Okay, so there might be
some other seats available to us.

Lily. Didn't know you'd be here.
Who's your lucky escort this evening?

- Someone you picked up at the funeral?
- Rufus Humphrey, the man I'm seeing.

And you remember Pauletta Cho?
She's head of publicity for my company.

Our company.
Yes, hi, it's nice to see you, Pauletta.

But your choice of companion,
not so nice.

I'm here to keep an eye on him
more than anything else.

JACK:
Hope you both enjoy the show.

If not, you can ponder why you thought
coming here together was a good idea.

Enjoy Tristan und Isolde.

Okay.

This isn't The Magic Flute?

Oh, no, that opera ended weeks ago,
and it's mainly for kids.

Kids, you gotta love them.

They do such great things,
like misread the opera calendar.

- Bruce, hello.
- Hey, my condolences about Bart.

I haven't wanted to call.

I didn't want to be a bother
in your time of grief.

Now that you're here, what do you want
me to do about those, uh, documents...

...I'd been working on?

Um, could you wait here
for just a moment?

- What's going on?
- I just need to talk to Charles.

You two can just talk about opera
while I'm gone.

The answer is so simple.
How could I have forgotten it?

- Any chance you can forget me?
- Just meet me here in 15 minutes.

If you don't like what I suggest,
I won't bother you again.

You have my word.

You don't have any binoculars,
do you?

Oh, or how about
those cool little spyglasses?

- Or a telescope will do.
- All right, I get it.

- You wanna go to the stupid box.
- Not if you don't want to.

Once the show starts,
I'm sure it'll be great from up here.

Candy, dear?

[COUGHING]

It's not that you don't wanna go
to the same college.

- It's not?
- A lot of couples go to different schools.

But for months you acted like going
to Yale together was what you wanted.

Well, I didn't figure it out until today.

And Brown is just a better fit
for me, Dan.

Well, what about us?
I mean, do we still fit?

Well, it's not like
we have to decide anything now.

- We can just--
- Go on having you make choices...

...that affect both of our lives
without you talking to me?

Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I was just-- I was so happy about Yale.

If we went together, you know...

...we'd get four years away
from everything and from everyone.

But our lives are gonna follow us
to college, wherever we go.

And what if our parents stay together?
What happens then?

More uncomfortable dinners?
Adjoining rooms on family vacations?

Pretending not to hear what we hear
in the middle of the night?

I mean, who knows how long
that's gonna last for?

Well, you know,
we'll just have to compartmentalize.

The two of them
will be its own thing...

...that we'll put in a box
and keep away somewhere.

Things don't just go in boxes.
They go all together.

No, they don't. No.

They go in boxes with really tight lids
that you bury deep in holes...

...at the bottom of the ocean.

Okay.

Providence is just a train ride
from New Haven.

I think we're gonna have to try and push
through the next couple months.

Yeah.

And knowing them, it won't last, right?
I mean, it can't.

It could never.

I studied the wrong opera.

I wanted to impress you
and your friends...

...and prove that I could exist
in both your world and mine.

Oh, Rufus,
I don't care what anyone thinks.

You exist in our world,
and it's the only world that matters.

Thanks for trying.

Oh. Oh, God.
Where are the boxes with the lids?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Why don't you guys
head, um, up to our seats?

I-- There's something
I have to handle first.

- Okay, yeah.
DAN: Right behind you.

There you go. And...

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Darling, turn off your phone.
Remember the Kevin Kline incident?

Hello, Headmistress Queller.

QUELLER: Blair, I'm sorry to call you
after hours...

...but Ms. Carr told me
how upset you were about your grade.

She did?

I confirmed with her...

...that so long as the rest of your grades
were up to your usual standard...

...you would still end with an A.

Sweet of Ms. Carr to be so concerned.
She's a good asset to the school.

She cares about her students,
she cares about their futures.

- Have a good weekend.
- Thank you.

- I'm sorry, but I have to go.
- The opera's about to begin.

It can wait. I have to fix something.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

- Who's this?
- Bruce Caplan. I'm your father's lawyer.

Before he died, your dad was going
to legally adopt Serena and Eric.

I was going to adopt you. We were
serious about becoming a family.

We'd had the papers drawn,
and your father signed them.

I just didn't get to it in time.

Your stepmother asked me
to have these faxed to the box office.

- So if you adopt me...?
- Then I'm your guardian.

Give me a pen.

Just to be clear,
this doesn't make us family, just even.

What do you think you're doing?

You can't sign anything
without my consent.

Not anymore.
I'm sending you back where you belong.

You just lost the company.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Sticks and stones may break bones...

...but a poison pen
is the best revenge.

I was just coming to find you.

Inviting me to a closed restaurant.

Telling me the curtain is 8 and not 7?

I just wanted to teach you a lesson.

So you knew who was in charge here.

That's not the way it works.
I'm the teacher, not you.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going home.

I was on my way to find you
and apologize.

On your way? An hour later?

I feel terrible. I do.

As much as I wish I wasn't,
I'm still learning.

It's like you not inflating your grades.
I can't not act out against people.

But I'm trying.

So please forgive me.

I accept your apology.

Let's see if we can find you
another ticket.

I'm actually quite tired.
I'll just see you Monday?

Yes, of course. Thank you, again.

- Headmistress?
QUELLER: Rachel?

I'm sorry to bother you.

I just need to talk to you
about something.

I hate losing.

You didn't lose.
You just admitted defeat.

- You know what's great about a box?
- Hm?

When the opera gets boring...

What do you think you're doing?

[LOCK CLICKS]

I should ask you the same thing.

- It's what Bart wanted. I'm sorry.
- So you say. I'm not so sure.

- I'm not scared of you, Jack.
- You should be.

You're high.
You're not thinking clearly.

You need to think about the
repercussions of what you're doing.

I don't think I do.

I just had a full conversation
with this opera-goer...

...about The Magic Flute.

And he pretended like that
was exactly what he just watched.

I'm beginning
to get these society people.

It's all a big game of pretending like
you know what you're talking about.

Where's Lily?

I don't know.
I haven't seen her all intermission.

- Keep an eye out for her, huh?
- All right.

Chuck. As much as I hate
to ask you anything...

...have you seen Lily?
My dad's looking for her.

She said she was going
to the powder room.

But that was a while ago.

What's going on here?

- What are you doing?
- Why is this door locked?

[GRUNTING]

You think you can squeeze me out,
take away my power?

I worked for this. I earned it.

Jack, it's over.

[LILY YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey. Get off her.

You stupid kid.

- Rufus.
- Oh, my God.

Come on.

Get off me.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

My hair is terrible.
I mean, not since'91.

If you care about your hair, you're more
a part of my world than ever.

- You sure you're okay?
- Yes. Yes, I am.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

I'll see you later.

I heard from the board that Jack is
on his way back to Sydney.

You didn't press charges?

No. I just wanted him gone.

But now I'm the interim head
of Bass Industries, believe it or not.

- Is that why you called me here?
- What you did for me last night--

- Lily--
- It's okay.

You don't have
to feel the same way.

But I do have faith
that when you're ready...

...you will do wonders
with Bass Industries.

What are you talking about?

On your 18th birthday,
I want you to have everything.

I don't want this job,
or the corporate jet...

...or anything related
to this business.

Just you.

As a part of my family.

Um...

Look.

I know what happened to my father
was an accident.

It was a terrible accident.

And, um...

If the offer still stands...

...I'd like to move back in.

I would love that.

GOSSIP GIRL:
The thing about new beginnings...

...is that they require something else
to end.

Hey, I'm just on my way out.

Miss Blair, we must go
or we'll be late.

The headmistress asked
if I could meet her at school.

I figured she wants to have tea
like when I applied.

- What are you doing?
- I'm just reading the Brown catalog.

Oh, and I ordered
a home-dreadlocking kit.

- Do you wanna meet up later?
- Definitely.

Maybe we can get a jump-start
on your veganism.

Have some celebratory seitan
at Angelica Kitchen?

I can't think of anything better.
Or grosser.

- I'll call you after.
- Okay.

GOSSIP GIRL: Some endings take a
long time to reveal themselves...

...but when they do,
they're almost too easy to ignore.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Ms. Carr, what are you doing here?

Rachel. And I'm taking your advice
to come out to Brooklyn sometime.

Can I get you anything?
I make a mean cappuccino.

All I do is press "start," but I pretend.

- That sounds great. Yeah.
- Here, sit.

Some beginnings start so quietly you
don't even notice they're happening.

You've been on the subway,
made it to a borough.

- How's the city working out?
- I'm getting the hang of it.

Like anything else,
you just have to make it work for you.

But most endings come
when you least expect them...

...and what they portend
is darker than you ever imagined.

QUELLER: I called you here this morning
because Ms. Carr told me what you did.

You leave me no choice
but to give you detention.

Yale has been notified.

Your acceptance
has been placed on hold.

If you complete detention
to my satisfaction...

...Yale will still be possible.

But if you do not...

BLAIR:
Put that puppy down, Dorota.

What happened, Miss Blair?

It's what's going to happen
that you should worry about.

Not all beginnings
are cause for celebration.

A lot of bad things begin.
Fights. Flu season.

- And the worst thing of all--
- Uh-oh.

- Is it war?
- Yes.

But this one will be different.

I need to wait for my moment,
and then I'm going Black Ops.

Off the radar. No accountability.

This war I'm gonna win.

Wanna be starting something.
XOXO, Gossip Girl.