Gordon, Gino & Fred's Road Trip (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Mamma Mia! - full transcript
Gordon, Gino and Fred are back, this time travelling across Greece. The trio go lobster diving and pastry making in Crete before visiting the hot springs of Santorini and then moving on to make traditional sausages in Mykonos.
Whoo!
Woo-hoo! Come on, Fred.
There's a dolphin!
Guys, there's a dolphin there!
This is amazing.
I cannot wait to get to this island.
These Greeks have no idea
what's gonna hit them.
Where is everybody?
Th-They obviously haven't reopened
the island yet, Gino.
You promised me a party.
Guys, don't worry,
we'll make our own party.
OK, let's do it. Music back on
and let's rock the island, come on!
MUSIC: 'Mamma Mia'
by ABBA
Fred, turn that music down.
Turn it up, turn it down,
turn it off, turn it on.
Come on!
I mean, seriously, guys.
This is the way to do it.
Look at him. He is u...
What's happening?
The French can't drive.
They can't park on the streets
and they can't park in the water.
Let's go. You're crazy.
'Gino D'Acampo...'
Ooh, my hat.
'..Fred Sirieix...'
Oh-oh!
'..and I...'
You're insane!
'..are on
a Big Fat Greek adventure.'
The party that never ends.
'Back together again...'
Rub it in, Gordon.
I am rubbing it in.
'..behind the wheel.'
What I wanted to hear is,
"Yes, Captain." Captain, my arse.
How are you?
Ooh!
That's the end of the tuk-tuk.
'An epic odyssey, like no other.'
The best chef in the world,
I'm coming in.
I caught a lobster, did you see?
'Proving this country's
culinary credentials...'
This is souvlaki on
a different level.
'..are up there
with the very best of Europe.'
Got a little bit of cream coming out
the side. I don't care.
Do you wanna Viagra Negroni?
This is awesome!
Gino.
I feel it.
'One French plonkeur.'
Where there is no wine,
there is no love.
'One cocky Italian.'
Moussaka is like a poor man lasagne.
'And one Greek God.'
You do look like a kebab.
'In the birthplace of civilisation.
What could possibly go wrong?'
This thing is very unstable.
Whoa!
Brake.
You're such a moron.
We're coming soon.
So, this beautiful catameringue
is our home for the week.
And we're gonna be island hopping.
Catameringue?!
It's not a dessert, you idiot,
it's catamaran!
Seriously?
HORN BLARES
What is he doing?
You always beep the horn
when you tell people I'm here.
Hercules, come here.
You take this over. OK. OK?
Don't touch all the buttons.
If you don't know what you're doing,
don't touch buttons, eh? OK.
One of that.
Thank you, Gino.
Gordon, you don't move, eh. Please.
Don't, don't...
See, this is the captain skills.
Have you seriously got a licence,
all jokes apart?
I've sailed more boats
than you cooked beef Wellington.
I can tell you that.
Absolute bollocks.
Welcome to Greece. Come on.
Welcome to Greece.
What is this?
This is called Douloufakis,
it's a Cretan sparkling wine.
Sorry, hold on, hold on,
just say that again? Douloufakis.
Oh.
It's a Greek wine.
Douloufakis?
It's actually Cretan.
Is it a question or...?
It comes from here.
So if I go into a bar
and say to the lady,
"Er, excuse me, er, Douloufakis?"
I'm not gonna get punched?
Yes.
This is part
of the Greek wine renaissance,
following the methode champenoise,
the traditional champagne method
to make wine. Right.
So here we are, a bit of France
in Crete.
Thank you very much.
You think about Greek food first
before we think about
Greek champagne.
I'm more excited about
the ingredients here.
Greece never gets the look-in
that France has or the Italians.
Honestly, I think Greek cuisine
is better than Italian cuisine.
You know that, right?
No, I ca...
No, you're not serious?
I am.
You cannot, you can't sa...
I mean, say something.
Say something.
I mean, the thing is,
in Crete, for example, yeah,
this is one place in the world
where the people live up to 90,
100 years old.
And that's because of the food
and the climate...
The Italian diet
is-is one of the most famous diet
in the world for people
living many, many years.
They live longer here in Greece.
You cannot compare it to Italian.
Oh, stop.
'Our Greek island-hopping adventure
begins in Crete,
'Greece's largest island,
'before navigating our way
to stunning Santorini.
'Then, it's onwards
to the party island of Mykonos.
'It feels like such a privilege
to be here, especially this year.'
I am starving.
Me, too. Mmm.
Look at these. Come on, seriously,
how beautiful is this?
I mean...
Amazing. Wooh.
You can now start to understand
why the country prides itself
on some of the best ingredients
anywhere on the planet.
I mean, think about lunch.
Think about a beautiful tomato
and the best cheese in the world -
a feta salad.
Like a Greek salad?
Yeah, of course.
But we need a main course that will
just lift our lunch beyond belief.
Go on.
So I've arranged for a fisherman
to help get us an amazing delicacy -
kolohtipa.
But what's that,
what's that, kolohtipa?
It's a beautiful lobster
that's got no claws.
But this thing is sweet,
it's delicious,
and it's literally just round
the bay there.
We're gonna go diving.
Yes! Do I have to?
Come on, a little dive before lunch.
'I've recruited a crack commando
fisherman to help us catch
'our notoriously elusive prey.'
Oh, there's Panos there. Panos!
That's the chap
we're gonna go fishing with?
That's the, uh, the lobster king,
trust me.
Oh, my God.
Look at him!
Is he already here?
Look at the state of him.
That is Panos.
Panos? Right now,
you look like a "penos".
This is what you guys don't know.
The lobster needs to feel
comfortable that it goes...
Oh, my God.
"..OK, I like him, I go to him,
"I'll fish with him."
You're pink.
Hey, Panos, how are you?
Hi.
Hey, Panos.
Can't wait to get our hands
on that incredible lobster.
Do the lobster like pink?
What did I say to you?
What did I say to you?
Fucking hell.
I can't believe you called me
a penos!
'Panos has been fishing these waters
since he was five years old.
'Like every other fisherman
in Crete,
'he air-dries what he catches.'
What is so special about
the lobster?
What does it mean?
What?
Argh. Argh.
Slapped arse?
What do you mean, "slap arse"?
Right. That's the name
of the lobster? Yeah, yeah.
Because they make this loud noise,
like...
Gotcha.
'We'll be diving off the island
of Gramvousa,
'a slapped arse hotspot,
'around the shipwreck of Dimitrios.'
I'm ready.
Come down.
Never put flippers on the boat.
What do you mean you never put...
Oh!
'With no pincers,
'the kolohtipa relies on
concealing itself under rocks.'
'Its scarcity and clandestine nature
'makes it highly sought-after
and very pricey.'
First, Panos shows us how it's done.
MUSIC: 'Duel Of The Fates'
by John Williams
Wow, he's got it!
Yes. Look at that.
Wow.
Bloody hell.
Now I get it when he's slapping...
and it slaps.
Oh, shit.
'With one in the bag...'
Where are you going?
We got the lobster, right?
Can we not go and cook it?
'..the Italian urchin
is losing interest.'
Fred.
'So, as usual, it's down to Fred
and I to step up.'
We had to dive down five metres
and I tell you,
you've got to hold your breath.
You go down there and that's it,
you wanna come straight up.
It won't come off.
It's grabbing hold of the rock.
Shit.
When Gordon is around,
wherever we're gonna go
and catch something,
he's gonna get it.
You're holding your breath
for 90 seconds,
sometimes up to two minutes.
They're very difficult to spot.
He's by himself down there.
Woo-hoo-oh!
Whoo! Yes.
Well done.
Yes!
Amazing. Beautiful.
'That's one for me.
'But can Frogman Freddo
bag us another?'
We, the French,
we have Jacques Cousteau,
we have Le Grand Bleu, I feel like
I'm at home here, you know.
Whoo, Gordon!
I caught a lobster, did you see?
Did you see?
Well done.
So you gotta be
a pretty good predator to get them.
Like moi.
Where's Gino?
Oh, no. Fred.
Yeah?
He's on the beach.
What do you mean he's on the beach?
Gino!
What?
Gino!
Seriously?
I'm trying to make friendly
with the locals.
I realised very quickly
that it was not for me.
And also I was distracted by a...
another species.
One second. I'm coming.
Ciao, bella.
Forget about going under the water.
What's the point when you can have
pleasure above the water?
Come and pick me up!
No, swim back to the boat.
Oh, come on!
FRED LAUGHS
Come back!
What's wrong?
You two left me,
uh, by myself on the beach.
'With Captain Gino
finally back on board,
'I'm gonna be barbecuing the lobster
with some air-dried octopus
'kindly gifted by Panos.
'Having humanely frozen and
part-boiled our prehistoric prize
'for maximum moistness,
it's time for the grill.'
There's something quite unique about
being on a boat an hour later,
having just dived for that lobster.
This is a good life.
'With Fred tending bar,
'Gino's making a meal
of a simple Greek salad
'of onions, tomatoes, cucumber,
oregano and feta.'
See what I'm doing, Fred, look.
Flake them, grill them,
look, flake them in there.
But, Gino you're just making
a salad.
It doesn't matter.
Even when you make a salad
there is an art, my friend, come on.
What cocktail are you making,
Freddo?
A pink ouzo lemonade.
It's gonna smell like the summer.
Sounds delicious. Look at this.
The incredible plethora
of ingredients here in Greece.
Here you are, fresh strawberry,
little bit of lemon.
Very simple, very light.
I love the strawberry.
They are very fresh,
these strawberries.
They're really, really sweet.
Season that with a little bit
of chilli, olive oil,
and then place that back on
the grill.
And look at that, that right there
is Greece on the barbie.
Look at that.
I mean, that is beautiful.
Oh, that looks...
I mean, look how much meat
is in there.
It's like a whole tail,
that's just half there, look.
A little bit of lemon.
Mmm. Oh, my God. That is so sweet.
Very tender.
Mm.
I mean, you know,
they-they eat healthy.
All these very simple,
humble ingredients.
There's nothing more to it.
Right. Just fish from the sea.
Bravo. What a day.
Nice and easy.
Cheers, guys.
Guys, salute, salute.
I can't drink too much, guys.
Why?
Because I've organised
some transportation.
I wanna go and visit the island.
Right.
The mainland.
Don't worry about it. Right?
And what I've organised
is gonna blow you away.
I'll tell you what
I'm gonna do for you.
Just because you cooked for us
and it's delicious.
You're gonna be the captain
of the tender of the boat.
You know the little dinghy
in the back there?
You can take us back.
I'm gonna allow you to do that.
There you go.
Do you know how to drive this thing?
Yeah, come on, it's a tender.
Life jackets on, please.
It's a tender, it's a tender,
it's...
Let's go, guys.
Oh!
What...?
Why do you do that?
I really don't know what I'm doing
with you two sometimes.
Let's go.
Gino, hold tight.
How tight?
Why do we need to go so fast?
MUSIC: 'Rock The Boat'
by Hues Corporation
Gordon, don't go too fast.
LAUGHTER
This is crazy!
There is no need for this!
There is... No, no.
Gino!
GORDON LAUGHS
God, it's freezing!
OK, a little bit more, please.
Come on, Gino, pull the boat.
Thank you.
Thank you. There you go.
Are you nice and dry?
'Gino, Fred and I are lucky enough
to be island hopping in Greece.
'We've dropped anchor in Crete,
famed for its natural beauty,
'abundance of fantastic food
and rich history.
'First stop, Chania,
'one of the oldest cities
in Europe.'
MUSIC: 'Mr Blue Sky'
by Electric Light Orchestra
Hello.
What the fuck are we doing
in this thing?
I wanted to get a green RV,
but I couldn't find one,
so I got this tuk-tuk.
Look at this machine.
I mean, it's all electric,
100 kilometre on the charge,
31 miles per hour maximum speed.
You've got to think about
your carbon footprint.
Green, clean and serene.
You are a French dreamer.
That's true, I'm a dreamer.
'As if the green frog's
'dream machine
isn't boring enough...'
What are we doing down here, anyway?
'..Kermit has also seems to have
swallowed the guide book.'
Look,
there is this beautiful church -
the Church of Agios Nikolaos.
Look at that, can you see?
This town has been invaded
by so many different people,
and when this church was built
in 1320,
and subsequently the Turks
arrived here and conquered the town,
they built a minaret
and it became a mosque.
And now, it's a church again.
You don't see that very often,
do you?
Efcharisto!
Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop...
CAR HORNS
I've... We've...
Right.
This is dangerous, this thing.
He can't drive.
Look, now all the Greek people,
they're upset.
That's the end of the tuk-tuk.
Fucking idiot.
Look where I'm going
to take you now.
The Arabs used to call this town
the Cheese Town.
Look at that.
Come on.
That is beautiful.
This thing is
a real local specialty.
Good morning.
Hello. Nice to see you. Welcome.
Good to see you.
How are you? Buongiorno, guys.
'The Yourdanis family have been
serving up
'traditional filo
and sheep's cheese pastries,
'or bougatsa, since 1924.'
That looks so delicious.
You put sugar on it?
Yes, this is the finishing touch.
This is really unique.
I mean, it's so different from what
we do in Italy or France, isn't it?
Oh. Thank you very much.
I get another. Thank you.
What's the name of the cheese?
Pichtogalo.
It's a local cheese
that's only around here in Chania.
It tastes delicious.
But can you make it
with any other cheese,
for example mozzarella,
can you do it with mozzarella?
I'm just asking.
Come on.
Can you?
Uh, actually, bougatsa is anything
that you can wrap,
with this filo pastry around.
So inside you can put even meat,
or spinach, perhaps.
How old is the recipe?
Almost 100 years. Wow.
I see, uh, uh, is that your mama
there who's-who's making it?
Yes, yes.
Is that lady there your wife?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we see how she makes it?
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
'Yohana has been making the bougatsa
since she was a young girl.'
YOHANA: Hi. Hello.
This is my mother.
Hi, Gordon.
Thes na matheis na ftiachneis
bougatsa?
Do you want to know
how to make bougatsa?
ALL: Yes.
Let me see your hands.
OK.
There we are.
Nice big hands.
Yes. Yeah.
This is good.
You like these hands?
Why, what's wrong with my,
wh-what's wrong with our hands?
Small. Like mine. You are small.
One swipe from Gordon is ten swipes
from my mother's small hands.
Oh, I see. So we need to work harder
than, er, Gordon.
Yeah, that's the story of our life.
'To make the bougatsa, delicate
filo pastry has to be stretched
'and folded in on itself,
several times.'
It's very thin.
Yes.
'Then the Pichtogalo sheep's cheese
is wrapped up in the centre.'
Look at that attention to detail.
Do you want to work?
Yeah, I want to work, yeah.
OK.
'Now, it's our turn.'
Put your hand inside and just spread
the oil on the table, yeah.
I have small hands, but I know
exactly what I'm doing with them.
OK.
Oh, my lord.
Too much oil.
Too much oil. Oh.
What about Gordon,
did he put too much oil?
Ah, no. No, this is too much oil.
Concentrate.
I am.
This whole bougatsa will never work
if that filo pastry is too thick.
You've got to create
this thin, crispy texture.
There's a science and so
you've got to be absolutely spot on.
No, no, no, no.
She doesn't tell Gordon off.
Yeah, but, Gordon, look.
But yes. Yeah.
Bravo, Gordon.
Yeah, bravo, Gordon.
Here we go.
There we go.
She can spot talent a mile away.
Those two, what an embarrassment.
I mean...
Now it looks like a pair
of French knickers.
These hands were made for filo.
I'm struggling here, but, um,
Gordon is taking private lessons.
See, Gordon always does that.
He uses the professionals
w-with the excuse,
"Oh, show me how it's done."
And he kind of cheats.
But when you make pastry,
it's four hands is better than two.
And obviously he had his four.
Literally, she's done everything.
Yeah.
OK, Mama, I think I'm ready
for my cheese.
YOHANA: Gordon, yes.
Oh, look at that. Look at what...
I think she likes Gordon, Fred.
I think she does.
Anything that he does is never
gonna be a problem, is it now?
I mean, seriously,
Yohana and Gordon.
MUSIC: 'Unchained Melody'
by Righteous Brothers
She was in love with Gordon.
Yes, Gordon.
MUSIC CONTINUES
That-that was really uncomfortable.
He's kissing your wife.
MUSIC STOPS
'After 20 minutes in the oven,
Mama can rate our bougatsa bakes.'
I looked at Gino's and it came out
like some bloated calzone.
And Fred's looked like
this stuffed croissant
that was on the Champs-Elysees.
Time for the true taste test.
Shocking. This one is...
Gino's.
Gino's, as you said.
Good.
Good. Excellent.
Good.
And then...
Fred's.
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
The filo is too thick.
Yes.
The filo's too thick.
Perfect.
THEY LAUGH
I mean, seriously.
Clearly, there's only one winner.
This is... amazing.
Mine was in first place,
and Gino and Fred's...
were vying for joint third.
What does that tell you?
These two are more or less
the same and...
and Gordon's is the best.
It's not a fair competition
to start with
because she made half
of his puff pastry, so, come on,
she was at the end,
judging her own work.
Is any more compliments
before we go away,
because we kind of getting bored
now?
Bougatsa a la Ramsay. Let's go.
Gordon, Fred, where are you?
I don't want to see people
sitting down, yeah.
Because we need to take
this thing out.
'Thanks to our first mate Hercules,
'our ship is moored
in Chania harbour.
'But self-appointed Captain D'Acampo
will get us en route
'to our next island.'
OK. Now first thing
we need to do the ropes.
Gordon, when I say so,
the fenders, they need to come out.
You don't take the fenders off
until we're out of the port.
What I wanted to hear is,
"Yes, Captain."
Captain, my arse.
Fenders out, please.
No! The fenders stay in.
Who is the captain?
Oh, my God.
Come on, stop arguing.
But leave... Fred, they're like...
Just let him have his...
No, look, fender in!
They're like bumpers,
keep the fender in.
Gino, don't go too forward,
don't go forward.
Gino, you are going into the wall.
No, it's fine.
Leave it to me,
I know exactly what I'm doing.
Oh, fuck off.
Well done, Fred.
HORN BEEPS
It's rude to bip the horn, hey.
In Italy, you beep the horn
to say goodbye and everybody waves.
Look, they're all waving, Gordon.
Look, everybody's waving because
they know that's the way to do it.
On the fricking wheel!
Oh, my God.
He doesn't even know his port
from starboard.
Starbucks? Now is not a time
to bloody have a coffee, my friend.
Oh, my God.
'After an heroic shift
from Hercules,
'we're approaching the supermodel
of Greek islands,
'stunning Santorini.'
Good morning.
Morning.
Hello, Santorini,
this is Gino D'Acampo.
Yes, the best chef in the world,
is me.
I'm coming in, I'm coming in.
'Unfortunately, the Italian
sea stallion is back at the helm.'
HORN BEEPS
But you know how it was created.
You see how it is all these rocks
that come out of the sea.
It's a volcanic eruption.
3,500 years ago.
Stunning.
'We're sailing into
Santorini's famous caldera,
'heading for Young Burnt Island,
'right in the middle
of the volcanic crater.
'Home to the healing hot springs
of Nea Kameni.'
You know that Santorini is called
the croissant island.
Well, it's shaped like a croissant.
Yeah, so I thought I'd give you
some croissant.
See these hot springs here?
Yes.
I've got a treat
for both of you.
A mud bath.
A mud bath?
Yes, it is gonna rejuvenate you.
And let's be honest, some of us
needs a bit of rejuvenation, so...
Yes. Especially on the forehead.
Really?
You have facials.
I do not.
I am sure you have facials.
You must do something.
This face looks like it's had
a fucking facial.
Are you kidding me?
We all have our own
little secret regime secrets.
To stay younger, what do you do?
It's-It's my beard.
I just trim it, you know,
you know, very, very carefully
and then make sure
it's always perfect.
That's the only think I do, really.
What's yours?
OK, my one is, I...
Sack, back and crack?
I, no. OK...
I like to make sure that
the game room, what do you call it?
The game room, right?
Yeah.
The game room is, uh, tidy.
Trimmed.
Yeah, it's all nice and tidy.
I don't like, like, a rargh,
aggressive game room.
Whoa. That must be really strange.
So you're very hairy up to here
and then suddenly,
you've got nothing there?
The game room is free.
That must be really strange.
That's not strange.
HORN BEEPS
Oh, my God.
HORN BEEPS
Can you just shut up, Gino?
'Unlike Gino's manscaping,
'thermal springs do actually have
medicinal properties.
'There are 700 dotted around
the country,
'and, like
their Mediterranean diets,
'the Greeks swear by them
to help live a long, healthy life.'
Boys, I think we're here.
There are the coolest thing ever.
Fred, get a white one.
Oh, my God.
Wow, that's super cool.
It's like a superhero of the sea.
That's it. You just go in there,
switch it on
and it takes you in the coast,
so then we can go exploring.
You have to stay out of Toys R Us.
All right.
Let's go.
How-How fast will they go,
these things?
I have no idea, this is
the first time I'm using them.
What's wrong with just swimming?
No.
We need to do like James Bond.
THEY LAUGH
But you know what,
I think it's gonna be cold, though.
It's not that cold.
Don't push...
Ah.
How is it, Fred?
It's cold.
Oh, my God!
Woo!
Come on, let's go.
'It doesn't feel like hot springs.
'Temperatures at the bottom
of the crater,
'nearly half kilometre deep,
average just four degrees.'
Are you sure the springs are here?
It's definitely this way.
Guys, I think someone's living here.
I think this guy is,
what-what do they call it, a hermit?
He doesn't look too happy.
This is a bit spooky, guys.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
He's telling us to go away.
He's telling us to go away, Gordon.
I think we're lost.
Shit.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Is it getting warm in the water,
or have you just pissed yourself,
Gino?
No, that's the hot spring coming up.
'Gino, Fred and I are on
the Greek island of Santorini,
'searching for a fountain of youth
'in this extraordinary
volcanic landscape.'
This is beautiful. What a find.
'Due to the heavy mineral content
in the water,
'hot springs are said to boost
the flow of blood through the veins,
'increasing cardiac output
and improving the metabolism.'
How good is this?
Now, what we need to do...
What's the secret?
OK, the secret is this.
We hold our hands, Gordon,
underneath here.
Look, you're gonna end up
with this mud.
Be careful that there is no stones,
OK.
And then we're going to slowly,
slowly...
No, no. Is to put it... Yeah.
It's good for our skin.
So what's in the mud?
There's sulphur, magnesium, zinc,
it's-it's all sorts of minerals.
You can smell it, can't you?
It smells like shit.
Go on.
What?
The back.
You want me to do your back?
Oh, come on, just a little bit
because it's good for the skin.
Yeah.
Trust me.
Bend down.
Rub it in, Gordon. Just put...
I am rubbing it in.
..put effort. No, but I'm sorry,
but he's caressing you now.
He's not rubbing it in.
I'm feeling something, er,
different.
THEY LAUGH
MUSIC: 'Islands In The Stream'
by Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
He just didn't put the mud,
he just actually properly
massaged him slowly.
I've never seen that.
There's other ways to exfoliate,
you know that.
With a loofah.
Who is loofah?
'The extremely high sulphur content
gives this mud its unique colour.'
You two really smell.
We need to find a rock now, relax
because this needs to dry
on the skin.
'It's also said to be
a natural detox
'that can prevent inflammation
and relieve muscle conditions
'often associated
with the aging process.'
You look like you've just
shat yourself,
and he looks like a washed-up walrus
with white teeth.
Jesus Christ.
Ah. Now for the full benefits,
we must lay down
and soak up for 20 minutes.
That's what I need, 20 minutes.
What, you're like a doctor now?
Shh.
Honestly, look at the state of you.
I felt so good.
I feel like I'm 22 again.
I'm a little bit frustrated that
Gordon didn't get into the mud thing
because I actually,
I organised this one for him.
He's getting on a little bit,
it's good for the bones
and everything.
It's good for the skin.
He doesn't want to do it.
Typical Gordon Ramsay.
I never thought in
my wildest dreams,
in the middle of Santorini,
would I see two washed-up turds.
FART
Are you farting?
Shh.
Guys, come on, look at that.
Absolutely beautiful.
Wow.
'Freshly exfoliated, we've sailed
around the Santorini coast
'to the picturesque village of Oia.
With its whitewashed buildings,
'gorgeous blue domed churches
and sun-kissed verandas.'
I don't know if you know,
but all these houses here,
they are built on the cliff,
but also inside the cliff.
In the summer, it's cool,
but in the winter, it stays warm.
It's very energy-efficient.
Look at this town.
How incredible is it, yeah?
It's so beautiful.
Two million tourists, they come here
every single year.
Look at that.
Wow.
Come on, guys.
Look at that scenery, Gino.
You know what is-is bizarre,
if you look at the, uh,
at the rocks, on the top
it looks like snow.
But it's actually all the villages.
Yeah, they're all white.
Santorini has an amazing reputation
for that beautiful tradition -
moussaka.
There's a grandma, she produces
one of the best moussakas
anywhere on the planet. Really?
OK, and this is gonna be
quite unique because...
we're gonna go into her home
and get a chance to taste
that incredible, beautiful moussaka.
I've-I've always wanted to learn
how to make a traditional moussaka.
Good afternoon, ladies. Hello.
'Grandma or "Yia Yia" Katina
is one of the guardians
'of the age-old
traditional recipes.'
Hi, Gino.
Ciao, bella. Mwah.
'She's already passing
her culinary expertise
'to her niece Kristina,
and now hopefully, to us, too.'
You're gonna be our Yia Yia
for the day.
No, because I miss my grandmother.
I miss my grandmother,
so I want her to be my Yia Yia.
Er, this is your aunt.
Yes, correct.
Yes, and she is renowned for making
one of the best moussakas
anywhere on the planet.
What's so special about
this beautiful dish?
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
She puts the traditional products
of Santorini,
especially the aubergines,
and the spicy mix and first,
she make them everything fried
because that gives more taste.
What would you like us to do?
You can go inside, you can take
any ingredients you prefer,
you can help with the dinner.
I will help you do the moussaka.
Are you happy if my sous-chef
helps me?
THEY SPEAK GREEK
Tell Yia Yia I'm not his sous-chef.
High five. Let's go.
High five on the sous-chef.
I'll come and help you.
'Yia Yia has already added
a base layer of potato
'and finest Greek aubergines.
'And now, a sprinkling
of local sheep's cheese.'
So what cheese is this, then?
This is kefalotyri.
'Then she adds her lamb, onions
and her secret spiced red sauce
'to the moussaka, followed by
the signature bechamel topping.'
I wasn't drinking anything.
Yeah, we are. I brought this wine
called Assyrtiko.
It's a local wine grower
who really wants to put Santorini
back on the map.
Giamas.
Thank you, cheers.
This is good.
OK, where is the oven, Yia Yia?
Where are we putting this?
Hello.
Hello.
How are you?
Fine.
'To accompany the main course,
my sous-chef is making
'a very simple fritter, with bread,
herbs, water,
'and locally grown
Santorini cherry tomatoes.'
Look at this tomato, Gordon.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Sweet. Oh.
'The tomatoes get
their unique flavour
'from being grown in
Santorini's volcanic soil.
'I'll be grilling shrimp and serving
with salsa verde
'on finely chopped herbs
and local olive oil.'
Erm, can you, uh, ask Yia Yia
if she's got a zester?
A zester?
Lemon zester.
Gordon, look at the colour
of this wine.
I mean, it looks like the sun.
Don't send me to sleep
with your nod-off wine chat.
Where do you need this?
In there.
Can you ask Yia Yia
for a teaspoon of sugar, please?
A teaspoon of sugar?
Yeah.
Yia Yia, sugar?
HE CHUCKLES
Thank you, chef.
Red wine vinegar, please.
No, no.
Please? Please.
Or white wine vinegar.
This is gonna be delicious.
Really delicious.
That's it, I'm not getting up
anymore, eh. OK.
That's it, white wine vinegar,
red wine vinegar.
Red wine's lovely, thank you.
Don't be so upset.
'The backbone of this salsa verde
is a handful of local capers.'
Gino.
Yeah, yeah, one second.
These capers from Santorini
are the best in the world.
Honestly, just taste one of them,
please.
Well, in Sicily they do
the best capers in the world.
Stop it. Can you just shut...?
Oh.
There you go. Forget Sicily,
Santorini where it is.
Yia Yia, please.
This is a little, um, salsa verde
with the Santorini capers
for the, uh, for the prawn.
She doesn't like it.
LAUGHTER
She doesn't know what to say.
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
You have put so much salt inside.
Oh. Wow, Fred. That's it.
Today, there is one thing
that we all learned.
Even gods can make mistakes.
Let me give you something to...
I know, I know, Yia Yia.
I know, Yia Yia, that's...
No, no, no, no, no.
If he can make a mistake like that,
we all have a chance in life.
Oh, my God, you poisoned
this poor woman, leave her alone.
I-I-I underestimated the saltiness
of the Santorini capers, OK?
We don't get capers like that
in Scotland.
I'll-I'll bring it back.
To finish it off,
I'm gonna put a touch more sugar
and some lemon juice
and it'll work, OK?
Don't worry, Mama.
Don't worry, Mama.
Don't look, don't look.
Don't look, don't look. Come, come.
I was hoping she was gonna say
that is delicious, superb.
I should have known to rinse
those capers.
The intense Santorini heat dries out
and makes these capers so salty.
Why didn't you suggest I rinse
the capers?
Why didn't you say that?
It's fucking unbelievable
what he does.
Can I just say something,
if it's not good enough,
we can't serve it.
I-I am not listening to a waiter.
'We're on a culinary tour
of the Greek islands.
'In Santorini,
we're trying not to poison
'our gracious host, Yia Yia Katina.'
I'll put one fritter here
and then I'll show you how to do it.
They're too thick.
No, they're perfect.
Gino, can you come now, please?
Yia Yia wants to get the moussaka.
Can you, can you keep an eye,
please?
I need about five or six, please.
He's made the-the mix so wet.
Everything's falling apart.
Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
Sending a smoke signal to Mykonos.
Where's Gino? Gino?!
It's all women here,
this is heaven for me.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
Ecco qua. Be careful.
I-I absolutely love your house.
Fred, can you pass me that lemon,
please?
Thank you.
What's going on with these fritters?
No, no, no. Fred, Fred, Fred, don't.
Fred, I said don't!
The moussaka is ready.
OK, so we are happy.
I'm gonna go outside to check, er,
Gordon Ramsay. Gino?!
See? He doesn't know
what he's doing.
Oh, I'm meeting the whole family.
Gino, your fritters, please.
Your fritters.
Yia Yia.
Beautiful.
Look at that.
Yeah, Fred?
Yeah?
I put in an extra bottle of wine
in the bag there.
OK, OK.
Can you please open it?
Yeah.
You're joking?
No, no, because I want Yia Yia
to try, guys. Look.
Go on, what is it?
It's Gino Vino.
Oh, no. I mean...
So I make this wine in Sardinia.
I export all over the world
and I want Yia Yia to, er, try.
When she tastes it,
she'll understand how bad it is. OK.
Look at the colour.
That's enough, that's enough.
OK, can I have Yia Yia's plate?
Yeah, of course.
Thank you, Gordon.
'One thing that's abundantly clear
here is the family tradition.'
Delicious.
We've had an amazing day today
in Santorini
and the highlight for me
is this incredible dinner.
And she's been making it for decades
and it tastes delicious.
You know what's amazing about
this moussaka
is the spices in the meat.
I mean, it's full of flavours,
it's incredible.
That moussaka was unbelievable.
The one problem I have on this plate
are the tomato fritters.
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
She said just to wait
and she makes them better.
You make them better? Yeah, yeah.
She makes them better.
Er, and how are the shrimp, Yia Yia?
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
You fix it. Everything's fine.
Thank you.
Yia Yia really remind me
of my nonna, my grandmother,
her name was Flora.
This is the best moussaka
I've tasted in...
all my life, the best. Mwah.
And you are the best.
This is the best.
And I was thinking, if I could spend
one day with my nonna right now,
what would I pay?
Er, that was, that was great,
it was a great experience.
Salute.
Giamas.
Giamas.
Salute. Giamas.
This has got peach in there,
it's got flower, lavender.
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
What she say?
It's just good.
Ah, see?
You get a hint of pineapple...
Finished with paint stripper.
This is stunning.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey, look at that.
Come on, take it in. Look at that.
That is a postcard.
It is.
You should go first
because if something happened,
I-I can rely on your shoulder.
How beautiful is this, come on?
Oh, wow! Look at that.
Have you ever eaten in a more
romantic, beautiful place than this?
I think we're never gonna be able
to come back here
and have the experience
that we have now.
You know, time is so precious.
Yeah, you're right.
What's the best meal you ever had,
or you ever cooked?
Oh, man.
I think cooking for Lady Di once.
Was she nice?
Ah, beautiful. I mean, just...
Here's renowned as the super model
of the islands, you know, Santorini,
and she by far was one of the most
gracious members of the Royal family
I've ever met. I mean,
a princess in just absolutely...
Through and through.
Yeah, oh, my God. Freddo?
With Mum and Dad, every Christmas
we have a seafood platter,
just oysters, langoustines, mussels,
I mean, you can imagine,
everything's on that platter.
I haven't seen them since
the beginning of the pandemic,
so to go back in France and have
that meal, that would be fantastic.
And yours? The most sort of...
significant cook or... place?
I think it has to be
the most significant meal I had,
er, 13 of August 2017.
I went to see my mum...
Oh, really?
..and um, she cooked an amazing
spaghetti vongole.
Such a simple thing with garlic
and bit of cherry tomato and clams.
Amazing.
The day after, she died.
I think, I think...
I think it's kind of, erm...
It feels that she knew
that she was going to die,
so she put everything in that,
erm, meal. Er, you know what I mean?
It's one of those very weird,
er, thing.
Amazing.
MUSIC: 'Follow The Sun'
by Xavier Rudd
This is what it's all about, guys.
This. Breathe and silence.
Next stop, Mykonos.
And you two seriously need
to behave yourselves.
Mykonos, that's a party town.
Are we gonna party?
No, we're not gonna party.
Oh.
We're gonna fucking party.
Listen, we've been indoors
for one year, I want to party.
We're gonna fucking party.
'Our final island hop is 70 miles
north of Santorini.
'The magical island of Mykonos.'
MUSIC: 'Summer'
by Calvin Harris
This is the party island!
Yeah, but it, it's closed, Gino.
What?
'Enjoying almost double
the sunny days we have at home,
'Mykonos is famous as being
a paradise
'for jet-set party animals...
ordinarily.'
I cannot believe
there's gonna be no party.
It's like we've got the island
for ourselves.
Gino, we're gonna have a party,
we're gonna have fun.
'We're back on the road,
'but this time with a steady pair
of hands at the wheel.'
Mind the pigeon, mind the pigeon!
Fred, this is how to drive
a tuk-tuk.
HORN BEEPS
Ooh, my hat!
They call it the windy island
for a reason.
D'you know, guys, these windmill,
they were built by the Venetian
in the 16th century and there are 16
on the island in total.
And obviously they were used
back in the day to mill the wheat.
Mind the cat on the roads.
Argh! Fuck.
Gordon... you're insane.
You know, Mykonos...
Fuck it, never mind.
'We couldn't come to this island
and not tickle our taste buds
'with a hugely popular
local speciality -
'the Mykonos sausage.'
The Ramsay family in Scotland
has a reputation for making
fantastic sausage. It's in my DNA.
It's in your DNA,
it's about a fisherman,
it's about being a butcher,
it's about being a boat driver,
it's all in your DNA.
I'm taking you to a butcher
that's been running
for three generations and supplying
the sort of jet-set crowd
of Mykonos.
We've got a barbecue this afternoon,
let's just buy some sausages.
Good idea, Gordon.
This is one of the best butchers
anywhere in Mykonos.
He must make a lot of sausages.
'All About Meat
is a family-run business,
'established over 50 years ago.'
Gentlemen, good morning.
Hello, sir.
What a gorgeous butchery.
Thank you very much, sir.
My grandfather used to be a butcher.
Is this one of your fake family
that you have in Scotland?
You do not call my grandfather
a fake butcher.
Let me tell you,
he'll cut your nuts off.
'Vassilis and Alexis serve
their gourmet meat
'to the island's
discerning customers.'
And is it, er, Scottish beef?
That one is French.
Oh.
FRED SINGS FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM
Relax, relax, it's horse meat.
It's not, you can see.
MOO
Can you tell me,
how good are your sausages?
What makes them so special?
Well, the most special one here
is, er, the Mykonian sausage.
How many do you sell, though?
Er, about 700 kilos a week.
700 kilos.
How many sausages is 700 kilo?
Maybe a little bit more.
And that's a special
Mykonian sausage.
That's the Mykonian sausage.
It can only be found here?
The herbs, yes.
It's got throubi inside,
which is something between thyme
and oregano.
So you've got a throubin' sausage?
Yeah.
THEY LAUGH
With pork, I'm guessing?
With pork, yeah.
OK, do you do other meats as well,
or just pork?
In a traditional Mykonian sausage
it's only pork.
I'm the best sausage maker
in the world,
I can make sausage with anything.
Prove it. Prove it.
Ah?
Prove it.
Yeah, but not today
because I've got new shirt on.
I don't want to show off.
That's for you. There you go.
Don't be a wuss, Gino, you said it.
But I can do whatever I want?
I can put anything I want in there?
Guys, you have no idea
what you've got yourself into.
'With Gino having talked his way
into the prep room...'
Once you made one sausage,
you know exactly what you're doing.
'..I felt it only right
I offer up my own sausage -
'a coarsely chopped, herby,
pork number I call a Girthy Gordon.'
This is too coarse.
No, I want it coarse for texture.
You're telling me how to make
a fucking sausage.
I forgot about the, er,
family sausage.
'Obviously Gino is being
more experimental,
'adding a local sheep's cheese
called manouri.'
Why do you put the cheese in there?
The cheese is gonna be fantastic.
No, really?
Yeah, it makes the sausage creamier.
'While I keep an eye on
the cheesy Italian,
'Fred is taking a closer look at
'another Mykonos meat speciality -
louza.'
Basically, it's the strip loin
of the pork. Right.
We basically cure it in salt
for 24 hours. OK.
We put herbs around it.
Right.
And we hang it for about 40 days.
You know, this process reminds me
of my grandfather.
I mean, he used to do all sorts
of charcuteries and ham,
and he used to dry them
in his attic.
Can we try some?
Of course.
If you blow the skin,
it'll open up the passage.
Not the skin in your mouth,
just blow the beginning
to open it up.
'Getting sausage meat
into the casing
'requires a little bit more
precision.
'But this shouldn't be a problem
'for an experienced sausage handler
like Gino.'
Here we go.
OK, not too tight.
It's exploding.
I've got it. I think I've got it.
OK, not too tight.
OK, where am I gonna put this one?
Twist.
How long are you making the sausage?
Huh?
Twist the fucking thing.
I'm panicking.
Twist the...
What do you mean twist it?
What am I fucking twisting?
Break. Break and twist. Roll.
OK. Now is not the time to twist.
Well, now you've got
one big, long sausage.
Look at the size
of that fucking thing.
Can you not slow
the flippin' machine?
It's already on slow.
It's a one-speed.
We've got a problem.
What's wrong?
Gino, fucking hell,
you're skin's split.
We can repair it, no?
So, twist and pull, right?
Yeah, there you go.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
That's a bit too big, that.
I mean, that's a little bit
over-excited.
Six, seven inches, right?
Is that not six, seven inches?
That? That's a twelve-incher.
How are you so precise
with your inches?
My grandfather was a butcher.
Eh, my grandfather was a butcher...
Now for the real sausage. Ready?
Not really... Go.
..but I'm going for it.
OK.
Right, start twisting.
Now?
Why are you doing long ones again?
Why are you doing that?
You told me
you'd made sausages before.
I know, but look...
It's a bit thicker.
Look what's happening,
there is a problem.
There is more sausage coming from
the nozzle than from the pipe here.
Your meat is too coarse.
This is not how to do sausages,
my friend.
You've fucked my sausage.
Mamma mia.
This fucking thing
went all over the place. I know.
'We're on the Greek island
of Mykonos.'
So you twist.
Twist.
OK, and one goes underneath.
Yeah.
'While Gino and get to grips
with my super-size sausage
'for our beach barbecue,
'Fred is tucking into
a local louza. '
Oh, what a platter.
Wow, look at that.
What do you think?
I think it's beautiful.
It's great to have with tomatoes,
olives, er, some kind of, er, cheese
and obviously the company
of good friends
and having a good laugh, you know.
This is so delicious.
Can we have some to take away
for the barbecue?
Of course, yeah. I'll sort that out.
Ah, here they are.
I cannot wait for Fred to see
your sausages. Wow.
Wow, well done.
So now you dry these for...?
About three days. Three days.
We haven't got time to dry them out
before we go to the beach.
I've got an idea,
sort of a fast track - air dry.
Er, Gordon, slow down
a little bit there.
Gordon, slow down!
Watch the cactus.
Oh!
MUSIC: 'Voulez-Vous'
by ABBA
Seriously, Gordon, you are gonna
give me a heart attack.
My God, man. My breakfast is...
GINO BURPS
Gordon, this is not enjoyable.
It's the wind. It's the wind!
I'm just trying to get some wind
under my sausages.
Right, we're near the beach,
are my sausages dry?
Or do I need to go round
the mountain one more time?
I just want to have a drink
and relax.
I'm so excited to taste
these sausages.
Where are we gonna set it up?
Let's do it over here.
Just there.
They look nice now, though.
These are mine, is it?
Yeah, but see how dry they are.
A little bit of olive oil in there.
Liquid golds.
Look at that.
Hey, these are looking good.
They smell nice.
Now if you turn that gas off
for a minute, I'll show you why.
Bollocks.
Oh!
Flippin' heck!
Seriously?!
What you brushing off?
THEY LAUGH
I didn't realise there was some sand
inside the lid.
Greece has been wonderful.
It's a beautiful place,
the people are brilliant,
and the food, flippin' amazing.
Watch, watch how he's gonna
cut his leg off.
We're on a beach, we improvise.
The Greek islands
have been fantastic.
Discovering these beautiful
local traditions and local food,
and spending time with my mates.
I mean, come on,
what can be better than that?
The first one with the big,
thick chunks of pork is mine.
All spice. Mm.
Love the texture.
I have to commend you on
the seasoning, very good.
I think that the extra sand,
it gives that little crunch,
which is beautiful with the sausage.
We're on the beach and sometimes
as the wind picks up,
a little bit of sand may go
on your sausage, OK? OK.
You know, I just tried
Gino's sausage.
Because of the cheese,
it's multi-dimensional.
I wasn't a big fan of the idea
of the cheese,
but it's actually put
a nice flavour on that one.
A sort of, given the sausage
a little bit of a sharpness,
which I quite like.
I like them both.
I can't make my mind up.
I'm the same as you.
I like them both, yeah.
Shall I make you a cocktail?
What have you conjured up?
Well, it's like a Mykonos mule.
Simple, little bit of sugar,
some thyme, grapefruit juice,
the raki.
Everywhere I go,
I just wanna open my eyes
and sort of bed into
what's happening locally.
That smells very strong.
Well, I added a bit more raki
than the recipe.
And the Greek Isles provided that,
um, beyond belief.
What an experience.
Next stop, Athens.
I need to drive, please.
OK, if he wants to drive...
Let him drive.
I can't wait to get to Athens.
Birthplace of democracy,
of philosophy.
So many things were born there.
To Gordon, Gino and Fred,
the party that never ends.
I have to be honest, I've never been
in Athens before.
Er, I know that there is a lot
of things to learn, er,
pyramids to go and see...
Cheers.
PRODUCER: Pyramids are in Egypt,
they're not Athens.
No, er, pyramids in Athens?
No? Oh, right.
Eh, potato, potato.
'Next time...'
..we're in the Greek capital,
Athens.'
This is the birthplace
of civilisation.
I wanna show you something.
Whoa!
'On a culinary pilgrimage.'
What did the monk said to the nun
on a salad bar?
'Seeking out food from the gods.'
Cherche les truffes!
Yes! Look at the size of that.
Do you wanna Viagra Negroni?
This is awesome!
Gino!
I feel it.
'And we'll separate the men
from the boys.'
Come here, you French bastard!
Oh!
'In our very own
Clash Of The Titans.'
Three, two, one...
WHISTLE BLOWS
Ooh, wait for me.
LAUGHTER
Woo-hoo! Come on, Fred.
There's a dolphin!
Guys, there's a dolphin there!
This is amazing.
I cannot wait to get to this island.
These Greeks have no idea
what's gonna hit them.
Where is everybody?
Th-They obviously haven't reopened
the island yet, Gino.
You promised me a party.
Guys, don't worry,
we'll make our own party.
OK, let's do it. Music back on
and let's rock the island, come on!
MUSIC: 'Mamma Mia'
by ABBA
Fred, turn that music down.
Turn it up, turn it down,
turn it off, turn it on.
Come on!
I mean, seriously, guys.
This is the way to do it.
Look at him. He is u...
What's happening?
The French can't drive.
They can't park on the streets
and they can't park in the water.
Let's go. You're crazy.
'Gino D'Acampo...'
Ooh, my hat.
'..Fred Sirieix...'
Oh-oh!
'..and I...'
You're insane!
'..are on
a Big Fat Greek adventure.'
The party that never ends.
'Back together again...'
Rub it in, Gordon.
I am rubbing it in.
'..behind the wheel.'
What I wanted to hear is,
"Yes, Captain." Captain, my arse.
How are you?
Ooh!
That's the end of the tuk-tuk.
'An epic odyssey, like no other.'
The best chef in the world,
I'm coming in.
I caught a lobster, did you see?
'Proving this country's
culinary credentials...'
This is souvlaki on
a different level.
'..are up there
with the very best of Europe.'
Got a little bit of cream coming out
the side. I don't care.
Do you wanna Viagra Negroni?
This is awesome!
Gino.
I feel it.
'One French plonkeur.'
Where there is no wine,
there is no love.
'One cocky Italian.'
Moussaka is like a poor man lasagne.
'And one Greek God.'
You do look like a kebab.
'In the birthplace of civilisation.
What could possibly go wrong?'
This thing is very unstable.
Whoa!
Brake.
You're such a moron.
We're coming soon.
So, this beautiful catameringue
is our home for the week.
And we're gonna be island hopping.
Catameringue?!
It's not a dessert, you idiot,
it's catamaran!
Seriously?
HORN BLARES
What is he doing?
You always beep the horn
when you tell people I'm here.
Hercules, come here.
You take this over. OK. OK?
Don't touch all the buttons.
If you don't know what you're doing,
don't touch buttons, eh? OK.
One of that.
Thank you, Gino.
Gordon, you don't move, eh. Please.
Don't, don't...
See, this is the captain skills.
Have you seriously got a licence,
all jokes apart?
I've sailed more boats
than you cooked beef Wellington.
I can tell you that.
Absolute bollocks.
Welcome to Greece. Come on.
Welcome to Greece.
What is this?
This is called Douloufakis,
it's a Cretan sparkling wine.
Sorry, hold on, hold on,
just say that again? Douloufakis.
Oh.
It's a Greek wine.
Douloufakis?
It's actually Cretan.
Is it a question or...?
It comes from here.
So if I go into a bar
and say to the lady,
"Er, excuse me, er, Douloufakis?"
I'm not gonna get punched?
Yes.
This is part
of the Greek wine renaissance,
following the methode champenoise,
the traditional champagne method
to make wine. Right.
So here we are, a bit of France
in Crete.
Thank you very much.
You think about Greek food first
before we think about
Greek champagne.
I'm more excited about
the ingredients here.
Greece never gets the look-in
that France has or the Italians.
Honestly, I think Greek cuisine
is better than Italian cuisine.
You know that, right?
No, I ca...
No, you're not serious?
I am.
You cannot, you can't sa...
I mean, say something.
Say something.
I mean, the thing is,
in Crete, for example, yeah,
this is one place in the world
where the people live up to 90,
100 years old.
And that's because of the food
and the climate...
The Italian diet
is-is one of the most famous diet
in the world for people
living many, many years.
They live longer here in Greece.
You cannot compare it to Italian.
Oh, stop.
'Our Greek island-hopping adventure
begins in Crete,
'Greece's largest island,
'before navigating our way
to stunning Santorini.
'Then, it's onwards
to the party island of Mykonos.
'It feels like such a privilege
to be here, especially this year.'
I am starving.
Me, too. Mmm.
Look at these. Come on, seriously,
how beautiful is this?
I mean...
Amazing. Wooh.
You can now start to understand
why the country prides itself
on some of the best ingredients
anywhere on the planet.
I mean, think about lunch.
Think about a beautiful tomato
and the best cheese in the world -
a feta salad.
Like a Greek salad?
Yeah, of course.
But we need a main course that will
just lift our lunch beyond belief.
Go on.
So I've arranged for a fisherman
to help get us an amazing delicacy -
kolohtipa.
But what's that,
what's that, kolohtipa?
It's a beautiful lobster
that's got no claws.
But this thing is sweet,
it's delicious,
and it's literally just round
the bay there.
We're gonna go diving.
Yes! Do I have to?
Come on, a little dive before lunch.
'I've recruited a crack commando
fisherman to help us catch
'our notoriously elusive prey.'
Oh, there's Panos there. Panos!
That's the chap
we're gonna go fishing with?
That's the, uh, the lobster king,
trust me.
Oh, my God.
Look at him!
Is he already here?
Look at the state of him.
That is Panos.
Panos? Right now,
you look like a "penos".
This is what you guys don't know.
The lobster needs to feel
comfortable that it goes...
Oh, my God.
"..OK, I like him, I go to him,
"I'll fish with him."
You're pink.
Hey, Panos, how are you?
Hi.
Hey, Panos.
Can't wait to get our hands
on that incredible lobster.
Do the lobster like pink?
What did I say to you?
What did I say to you?
Fucking hell.
I can't believe you called me
a penos!
'Panos has been fishing these waters
since he was five years old.
'Like every other fisherman
in Crete,
'he air-dries what he catches.'
What is so special about
the lobster?
What does it mean?
What?
Argh. Argh.
Slapped arse?
What do you mean, "slap arse"?
Right. That's the name
of the lobster? Yeah, yeah.
Because they make this loud noise,
like...
Gotcha.
'We'll be diving off the island
of Gramvousa,
'a slapped arse hotspot,
'around the shipwreck of Dimitrios.'
I'm ready.
Come down.
Never put flippers on the boat.
What do you mean you never put...
Oh!
'With no pincers,
'the kolohtipa relies on
concealing itself under rocks.'
'Its scarcity and clandestine nature
'makes it highly sought-after
and very pricey.'
First, Panos shows us how it's done.
MUSIC: 'Duel Of The Fates'
by John Williams
Wow, he's got it!
Yes. Look at that.
Wow.
Bloody hell.
Now I get it when he's slapping...
and it slaps.
Oh, shit.
'With one in the bag...'
Where are you going?
We got the lobster, right?
Can we not go and cook it?
'..the Italian urchin
is losing interest.'
Fred.
'So, as usual, it's down to Fred
and I to step up.'
We had to dive down five metres
and I tell you,
you've got to hold your breath.
You go down there and that's it,
you wanna come straight up.
It won't come off.
It's grabbing hold of the rock.
Shit.
When Gordon is around,
wherever we're gonna go
and catch something,
he's gonna get it.
You're holding your breath
for 90 seconds,
sometimes up to two minutes.
They're very difficult to spot.
He's by himself down there.
Woo-hoo-oh!
Whoo! Yes.
Well done.
Yes!
Amazing. Beautiful.
'That's one for me.
'But can Frogman Freddo
bag us another?'
We, the French,
we have Jacques Cousteau,
we have Le Grand Bleu, I feel like
I'm at home here, you know.
Whoo, Gordon!
I caught a lobster, did you see?
Did you see?
Well done.
So you gotta be
a pretty good predator to get them.
Like moi.
Where's Gino?
Oh, no. Fred.
Yeah?
He's on the beach.
What do you mean he's on the beach?
Gino!
What?
Gino!
Seriously?
I'm trying to make friendly
with the locals.
I realised very quickly
that it was not for me.
And also I was distracted by a...
another species.
One second. I'm coming.
Ciao, bella.
Forget about going under the water.
What's the point when you can have
pleasure above the water?
Come and pick me up!
No, swim back to the boat.
Oh, come on!
FRED LAUGHS
Come back!
What's wrong?
You two left me,
uh, by myself on the beach.
'With Captain Gino
finally back on board,
'I'm gonna be barbecuing the lobster
with some air-dried octopus
'kindly gifted by Panos.
'Having humanely frozen and
part-boiled our prehistoric prize
'for maximum moistness,
it's time for the grill.'
There's something quite unique about
being on a boat an hour later,
having just dived for that lobster.
This is a good life.
'With Fred tending bar,
'Gino's making a meal
of a simple Greek salad
'of onions, tomatoes, cucumber,
oregano and feta.'
See what I'm doing, Fred, look.
Flake them, grill them,
look, flake them in there.
But, Gino you're just making
a salad.
It doesn't matter.
Even when you make a salad
there is an art, my friend, come on.
What cocktail are you making,
Freddo?
A pink ouzo lemonade.
It's gonna smell like the summer.
Sounds delicious. Look at this.
The incredible plethora
of ingredients here in Greece.
Here you are, fresh strawberry,
little bit of lemon.
Very simple, very light.
I love the strawberry.
They are very fresh,
these strawberries.
They're really, really sweet.
Season that with a little bit
of chilli, olive oil,
and then place that back on
the grill.
And look at that, that right there
is Greece on the barbie.
Look at that.
I mean, that is beautiful.
Oh, that looks...
I mean, look how much meat
is in there.
It's like a whole tail,
that's just half there, look.
A little bit of lemon.
Mmm. Oh, my God. That is so sweet.
Very tender.
Mm.
I mean, you know,
they-they eat healthy.
All these very simple,
humble ingredients.
There's nothing more to it.
Right. Just fish from the sea.
Bravo. What a day.
Nice and easy.
Cheers, guys.
Guys, salute, salute.
I can't drink too much, guys.
Why?
Because I've organised
some transportation.
I wanna go and visit the island.
Right.
The mainland.
Don't worry about it. Right?
And what I've organised
is gonna blow you away.
I'll tell you what
I'm gonna do for you.
Just because you cooked for us
and it's delicious.
You're gonna be the captain
of the tender of the boat.
You know the little dinghy
in the back there?
You can take us back.
I'm gonna allow you to do that.
There you go.
Do you know how to drive this thing?
Yeah, come on, it's a tender.
Life jackets on, please.
It's a tender, it's a tender,
it's...
Let's go, guys.
Oh!
What...?
Why do you do that?
I really don't know what I'm doing
with you two sometimes.
Let's go.
Gino, hold tight.
How tight?
Why do we need to go so fast?
MUSIC: 'Rock The Boat'
by Hues Corporation
Gordon, don't go too fast.
LAUGHTER
This is crazy!
There is no need for this!
There is... No, no.
Gino!
GORDON LAUGHS
God, it's freezing!
OK, a little bit more, please.
Come on, Gino, pull the boat.
Thank you.
Thank you. There you go.
Are you nice and dry?
'Gino, Fred and I are lucky enough
to be island hopping in Greece.
'We've dropped anchor in Crete,
famed for its natural beauty,
'abundance of fantastic food
and rich history.
'First stop, Chania,
'one of the oldest cities
in Europe.'
MUSIC: 'Mr Blue Sky'
by Electric Light Orchestra
Hello.
What the fuck are we doing
in this thing?
I wanted to get a green RV,
but I couldn't find one,
so I got this tuk-tuk.
Look at this machine.
I mean, it's all electric,
100 kilometre on the charge,
31 miles per hour maximum speed.
You've got to think about
your carbon footprint.
Green, clean and serene.
You are a French dreamer.
That's true, I'm a dreamer.
'As if the green frog's
'dream machine
isn't boring enough...'
What are we doing down here, anyway?
'..Kermit has also seems to have
swallowed the guide book.'
Look,
there is this beautiful church -
the Church of Agios Nikolaos.
Look at that, can you see?
This town has been invaded
by so many different people,
and when this church was built
in 1320,
and subsequently the Turks
arrived here and conquered the town,
they built a minaret
and it became a mosque.
And now, it's a church again.
You don't see that very often,
do you?
Efcharisto!
Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop...
CAR HORNS
I've... We've...
Right.
This is dangerous, this thing.
He can't drive.
Look, now all the Greek people,
they're upset.
That's the end of the tuk-tuk.
Fucking idiot.
Look where I'm going
to take you now.
The Arabs used to call this town
the Cheese Town.
Look at that.
Come on.
That is beautiful.
This thing is
a real local specialty.
Good morning.
Hello. Nice to see you. Welcome.
Good to see you.
How are you? Buongiorno, guys.
'The Yourdanis family have been
serving up
'traditional filo
and sheep's cheese pastries,
'or bougatsa, since 1924.'
That looks so delicious.
You put sugar on it?
Yes, this is the finishing touch.
This is really unique.
I mean, it's so different from what
we do in Italy or France, isn't it?
Oh. Thank you very much.
I get another. Thank you.
What's the name of the cheese?
Pichtogalo.
It's a local cheese
that's only around here in Chania.
It tastes delicious.
But can you make it
with any other cheese,
for example mozzarella,
can you do it with mozzarella?
I'm just asking.
Come on.
Can you?
Uh, actually, bougatsa is anything
that you can wrap,
with this filo pastry around.
So inside you can put even meat,
or spinach, perhaps.
How old is the recipe?
Almost 100 years. Wow.
I see, uh, uh, is that your mama
there who's-who's making it?
Yes, yes.
Is that lady there your wife?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we see how she makes it?
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
'Yohana has been making the bougatsa
since she was a young girl.'
YOHANA: Hi. Hello.
This is my mother.
Hi, Gordon.
Thes na matheis na ftiachneis
bougatsa?
Do you want to know
how to make bougatsa?
ALL: Yes.
Let me see your hands.
OK.
There we are.
Nice big hands.
Yes. Yeah.
This is good.
You like these hands?
Why, what's wrong with my,
wh-what's wrong with our hands?
Small. Like mine. You are small.
One swipe from Gordon is ten swipes
from my mother's small hands.
Oh, I see. So we need to work harder
than, er, Gordon.
Yeah, that's the story of our life.
'To make the bougatsa, delicate
filo pastry has to be stretched
'and folded in on itself,
several times.'
It's very thin.
Yes.
'Then the Pichtogalo sheep's cheese
is wrapped up in the centre.'
Look at that attention to detail.
Do you want to work?
Yeah, I want to work, yeah.
OK.
'Now, it's our turn.'
Put your hand inside and just spread
the oil on the table, yeah.
I have small hands, but I know
exactly what I'm doing with them.
OK.
Oh, my lord.
Too much oil.
Too much oil. Oh.
What about Gordon,
did he put too much oil?
Ah, no. No, this is too much oil.
Concentrate.
I am.
This whole bougatsa will never work
if that filo pastry is too thick.
You've got to create
this thin, crispy texture.
There's a science and so
you've got to be absolutely spot on.
No, no, no, no.
She doesn't tell Gordon off.
Yeah, but, Gordon, look.
But yes. Yeah.
Bravo, Gordon.
Yeah, bravo, Gordon.
Here we go.
There we go.
She can spot talent a mile away.
Those two, what an embarrassment.
I mean...
Now it looks like a pair
of French knickers.
These hands were made for filo.
I'm struggling here, but, um,
Gordon is taking private lessons.
See, Gordon always does that.
He uses the professionals
w-with the excuse,
"Oh, show me how it's done."
And he kind of cheats.
But when you make pastry,
it's four hands is better than two.
And obviously he had his four.
Literally, she's done everything.
Yeah.
OK, Mama, I think I'm ready
for my cheese.
YOHANA: Gordon, yes.
Oh, look at that. Look at what...
I think she likes Gordon, Fred.
I think she does.
Anything that he does is never
gonna be a problem, is it now?
I mean, seriously,
Yohana and Gordon.
MUSIC: 'Unchained Melody'
by Righteous Brothers
She was in love with Gordon.
Yes, Gordon.
MUSIC CONTINUES
That-that was really uncomfortable.
He's kissing your wife.
MUSIC STOPS
'After 20 minutes in the oven,
Mama can rate our bougatsa bakes.'
I looked at Gino's and it came out
like some bloated calzone.
And Fred's looked like
this stuffed croissant
that was on the Champs-Elysees.
Time for the true taste test.
Shocking. This one is...
Gino's.
Gino's, as you said.
Good.
Good. Excellent.
Good.
And then...
Fred's.
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
The filo is too thick.
Yes.
The filo's too thick.
Perfect.
THEY LAUGH
I mean, seriously.
Clearly, there's only one winner.
This is... amazing.
Mine was in first place,
and Gino and Fred's...
were vying for joint third.
What does that tell you?
These two are more or less
the same and...
and Gordon's is the best.
It's not a fair competition
to start with
because she made half
of his puff pastry, so, come on,
she was at the end,
judging her own work.
Is any more compliments
before we go away,
because we kind of getting bored
now?
Bougatsa a la Ramsay. Let's go.
Gordon, Fred, where are you?
I don't want to see people
sitting down, yeah.
Because we need to take
this thing out.
'Thanks to our first mate Hercules,
'our ship is moored
in Chania harbour.
'But self-appointed Captain D'Acampo
will get us en route
'to our next island.'
OK. Now first thing
we need to do the ropes.
Gordon, when I say so,
the fenders, they need to come out.
You don't take the fenders off
until we're out of the port.
What I wanted to hear is,
"Yes, Captain."
Captain, my arse.
Fenders out, please.
No! The fenders stay in.
Who is the captain?
Oh, my God.
Come on, stop arguing.
But leave... Fred, they're like...
Just let him have his...
No, look, fender in!
They're like bumpers,
keep the fender in.
Gino, don't go too forward,
don't go forward.
Gino, you are going into the wall.
No, it's fine.
Leave it to me,
I know exactly what I'm doing.
Oh, fuck off.
Well done, Fred.
HORN BEEPS
It's rude to bip the horn, hey.
In Italy, you beep the horn
to say goodbye and everybody waves.
Look, they're all waving, Gordon.
Look, everybody's waving because
they know that's the way to do it.
On the fricking wheel!
Oh, my God.
He doesn't even know his port
from starboard.
Starbucks? Now is not a time
to bloody have a coffee, my friend.
Oh, my God.
'After an heroic shift
from Hercules,
'we're approaching the supermodel
of Greek islands,
'stunning Santorini.'
Good morning.
Morning.
Hello, Santorini,
this is Gino D'Acampo.
Yes, the best chef in the world,
is me.
I'm coming in, I'm coming in.
'Unfortunately, the Italian
sea stallion is back at the helm.'
HORN BEEPS
But you know how it was created.
You see how it is all these rocks
that come out of the sea.
It's a volcanic eruption.
3,500 years ago.
Stunning.
'We're sailing into
Santorini's famous caldera,
'heading for Young Burnt Island,
'right in the middle
of the volcanic crater.
'Home to the healing hot springs
of Nea Kameni.'
You know that Santorini is called
the croissant island.
Well, it's shaped like a croissant.
Yeah, so I thought I'd give you
some croissant.
See these hot springs here?
Yes.
I've got a treat
for both of you.
A mud bath.
A mud bath?
Yes, it is gonna rejuvenate you.
And let's be honest, some of us
needs a bit of rejuvenation, so...
Yes. Especially on the forehead.
Really?
You have facials.
I do not.
I am sure you have facials.
You must do something.
This face looks like it's had
a fucking facial.
Are you kidding me?
We all have our own
little secret regime secrets.
To stay younger, what do you do?
It's-It's my beard.
I just trim it, you know,
you know, very, very carefully
and then make sure
it's always perfect.
That's the only think I do, really.
What's yours?
OK, my one is, I...
Sack, back and crack?
I, no. OK...
I like to make sure that
the game room, what do you call it?
The game room, right?
Yeah.
The game room is, uh, tidy.
Trimmed.
Yeah, it's all nice and tidy.
I don't like, like, a rargh,
aggressive game room.
Whoa. That must be really strange.
So you're very hairy up to here
and then suddenly,
you've got nothing there?
The game room is free.
That must be really strange.
That's not strange.
HORN BEEPS
Oh, my God.
HORN BEEPS
Can you just shut up, Gino?
'Unlike Gino's manscaping,
'thermal springs do actually have
medicinal properties.
'There are 700 dotted around
the country,
'and, like
their Mediterranean diets,
'the Greeks swear by them
to help live a long, healthy life.'
Boys, I think we're here.
There are the coolest thing ever.
Fred, get a white one.
Oh, my God.
Wow, that's super cool.
It's like a superhero of the sea.
That's it. You just go in there,
switch it on
and it takes you in the coast,
so then we can go exploring.
You have to stay out of Toys R Us.
All right.
Let's go.
How-How fast will they go,
these things?
I have no idea, this is
the first time I'm using them.
What's wrong with just swimming?
No.
We need to do like James Bond.
THEY LAUGH
But you know what,
I think it's gonna be cold, though.
It's not that cold.
Don't push...
Ah.
How is it, Fred?
It's cold.
Oh, my God!
Woo!
Come on, let's go.
'It doesn't feel like hot springs.
'Temperatures at the bottom
of the crater,
'nearly half kilometre deep,
average just four degrees.'
Are you sure the springs are here?
It's definitely this way.
Guys, I think someone's living here.
I think this guy is,
what-what do they call it, a hermit?
He doesn't look too happy.
This is a bit spooky, guys.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
He's telling us to go away.
He's telling us to go away, Gordon.
I think we're lost.
Shit.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Is it getting warm in the water,
or have you just pissed yourself,
Gino?
No, that's the hot spring coming up.
'Gino, Fred and I are on
the Greek island of Santorini,
'searching for a fountain of youth
'in this extraordinary
volcanic landscape.'
This is beautiful. What a find.
'Due to the heavy mineral content
in the water,
'hot springs are said to boost
the flow of blood through the veins,
'increasing cardiac output
and improving the metabolism.'
How good is this?
Now, what we need to do...
What's the secret?
OK, the secret is this.
We hold our hands, Gordon,
underneath here.
Look, you're gonna end up
with this mud.
Be careful that there is no stones,
OK.
And then we're going to slowly,
slowly...
No, no. Is to put it... Yeah.
It's good for our skin.
So what's in the mud?
There's sulphur, magnesium, zinc,
it's-it's all sorts of minerals.
You can smell it, can't you?
It smells like shit.
Go on.
What?
The back.
You want me to do your back?
Oh, come on, just a little bit
because it's good for the skin.
Yeah.
Trust me.
Bend down.
Rub it in, Gordon. Just put...
I am rubbing it in.
..put effort. No, but I'm sorry,
but he's caressing you now.
He's not rubbing it in.
I'm feeling something, er,
different.
THEY LAUGH
MUSIC: 'Islands In The Stream'
by Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
He just didn't put the mud,
he just actually properly
massaged him slowly.
I've never seen that.
There's other ways to exfoliate,
you know that.
With a loofah.
Who is loofah?
'The extremely high sulphur content
gives this mud its unique colour.'
You two really smell.
We need to find a rock now, relax
because this needs to dry
on the skin.
'It's also said to be
a natural detox
'that can prevent inflammation
and relieve muscle conditions
'often associated
with the aging process.'
You look like you've just
shat yourself,
and he looks like a washed-up walrus
with white teeth.
Jesus Christ.
Ah. Now for the full benefits,
we must lay down
and soak up for 20 minutes.
That's what I need, 20 minutes.
What, you're like a doctor now?
Shh.
Honestly, look at the state of you.
I felt so good.
I feel like I'm 22 again.
I'm a little bit frustrated that
Gordon didn't get into the mud thing
because I actually,
I organised this one for him.
He's getting on a little bit,
it's good for the bones
and everything.
It's good for the skin.
He doesn't want to do it.
Typical Gordon Ramsay.
I never thought in
my wildest dreams,
in the middle of Santorini,
would I see two washed-up turds.
FART
Are you farting?
Shh.
Guys, come on, look at that.
Absolutely beautiful.
Wow.
'Freshly exfoliated, we've sailed
around the Santorini coast
'to the picturesque village of Oia.
With its whitewashed buildings,
'gorgeous blue domed churches
and sun-kissed verandas.'
I don't know if you know,
but all these houses here,
they are built on the cliff,
but also inside the cliff.
In the summer, it's cool,
but in the winter, it stays warm.
It's very energy-efficient.
Look at this town.
How incredible is it, yeah?
It's so beautiful.
Two million tourists, they come here
every single year.
Look at that.
Wow.
Come on, guys.
Look at that scenery, Gino.
You know what is-is bizarre,
if you look at the, uh,
at the rocks, on the top
it looks like snow.
But it's actually all the villages.
Yeah, they're all white.
Santorini has an amazing reputation
for that beautiful tradition -
moussaka.
There's a grandma, she produces
one of the best moussakas
anywhere on the planet. Really?
OK, and this is gonna be
quite unique because...
we're gonna go into her home
and get a chance to taste
that incredible, beautiful moussaka.
I've-I've always wanted to learn
how to make a traditional moussaka.
Good afternoon, ladies. Hello.
'Grandma or "Yia Yia" Katina
is one of the guardians
'of the age-old
traditional recipes.'
Hi, Gino.
Ciao, bella. Mwah.
'She's already passing
her culinary expertise
'to her niece Kristina,
and now hopefully, to us, too.'
You're gonna be our Yia Yia
for the day.
No, because I miss my grandmother.
I miss my grandmother,
so I want her to be my Yia Yia.
Er, this is your aunt.
Yes, correct.
Yes, and she is renowned for making
one of the best moussakas
anywhere on the planet.
What's so special about
this beautiful dish?
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
She puts the traditional products
of Santorini,
especially the aubergines,
and the spicy mix and first,
she make them everything fried
because that gives more taste.
What would you like us to do?
You can go inside, you can take
any ingredients you prefer,
you can help with the dinner.
I will help you do the moussaka.
Are you happy if my sous-chef
helps me?
THEY SPEAK GREEK
Tell Yia Yia I'm not his sous-chef.
High five. Let's go.
High five on the sous-chef.
I'll come and help you.
'Yia Yia has already added
a base layer of potato
'and finest Greek aubergines.
'And now, a sprinkling
of local sheep's cheese.'
So what cheese is this, then?
This is kefalotyri.
'Then she adds her lamb, onions
and her secret spiced red sauce
'to the moussaka, followed by
the signature bechamel topping.'
I wasn't drinking anything.
Yeah, we are. I brought this wine
called Assyrtiko.
It's a local wine grower
who really wants to put Santorini
back on the map.
Giamas.
Thank you, cheers.
This is good.
OK, where is the oven, Yia Yia?
Where are we putting this?
Hello.
Hello.
How are you?
Fine.
'To accompany the main course,
my sous-chef is making
'a very simple fritter, with bread,
herbs, water,
'and locally grown
Santorini cherry tomatoes.'
Look at this tomato, Gordon.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Sweet. Oh.
'The tomatoes get
their unique flavour
'from being grown in
Santorini's volcanic soil.
'I'll be grilling shrimp and serving
with salsa verde
'on finely chopped herbs
and local olive oil.'
Erm, can you, uh, ask Yia Yia
if she's got a zester?
A zester?
Lemon zester.
Gordon, look at the colour
of this wine.
I mean, it looks like the sun.
Don't send me to sleep
with your nod-off wine chat.
Where do you need this?
In there.
Can you ask Yia Yia
for a teaspoon of sugar, please?
A teaspoon of sugar?
Yeah.
Yia Yia, sugar?
HE CHUCKLES
Thank you, chef.
Red wine vinegar, please.
No, no.
Please? Please.
Or white wine vinegar.
This is gonna be delicious.
Really delicious.
That's it, I'm not getting up
anymore, eh. OK.
That's it, white wine vinegar,
red wine vinegar.
Red wine's lovely, thank you.
Don't be so upset.
'The backbone of this salsa verde
is a handful of local capers.'
Gino.
Yeah, yeah, one second.
These capers from Santorini
are the best in the world.
Honestly, just taste one of them,
please.
Well, in Sicily they do
the best capers in the world.
Stop it. Can you just shut...?
Oh.
There you go. Forget Sicily,
Santorini where it is.
Yia Yia, please.
This is a little, um, salsa verde
with the Santorini capers
for the, uh, for the prawn.
She doesn't like it.
LAUGHTER
She doesn't know what to say.
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
You have put so much salt inside.
Oh. Wow, Fred. That's it.
Today, there is one thing
that we all learned.
Even gods can make mistakes.
Let me give you something to...
I know, I know, Yia Yia.
I know, Yia Yia, that's...
No, no, no, no, no.
If he can make a mistake like that,
we all have a chance in life.
Oh, my God, you poisoned
this poor woman, leave her alone.
I-I-I underestimated the saltiness
of the Santorini capers, OK?
We don't get capers like that
in Scotland.
I'll-I'll bring it back.
To finish it off,
I'm gonna put a touch more sugar
and some lemon juice
and it'll work, OK?
Don't worry, Mama.
Don't worry, Mama.
Don't look, don't look.
Don't look, don't look. Come, come.
I was hoping she was gonna say
that is delicious, superb.
I should have known to rinse
those capers.
The intense Santorini heat dries out
and makes these capers so salty.
Why didn't you suggest I rinse
the capers?
Why didn't you say that?
It's fucking unbelievable
what he does.
Can I just say something,
if it's not good enough,
we can't serve it.
I-I am not listening to a waiter.
'We're on a culinary tour
of the Greek islands.
'In Santorini,
we're trying not to poison
'our gracious host, Yia Yia Katina.'
I'll put one fritter here
and then I'll show you how to do it.
They're too thick.
No, they're perfect.
Gino, can you come now, please?
Yia Yia wants to get the moussaka.
Can you, can you keep an eye,
please?
I need about five or six, please.
He's made the-the mix so wet.
Everything's falling apart.
Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
Sending a smoke signal to Mykonos.
Where's Gino? Gino?!
It's all women here,
this is heaven for me.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
Ecco qua. Be careful.
I-I absolutely love your house.
Fred, can you pass me that lemon,
please?
Thank you.
What's going on with these fritters?
No, no, no. Fred, Fred, Fred, don't.
Fred, I said don't!
The moussaka is ready.
OK, so we are happy.
I'm gonna go outside to check, er,
Gordon Ramsay. Gino?!
See? He doesn't know
what he's doing.
Oh, I'm meeting the whole family.
Gino, your fritters, please.
Your fritters.
Yia Yia.
Beautiful.
Look at that.
Yeah, Fred?
Yeah?
I put in an extra bottle of wine
in the bag there.
OK, OK.
Can you please open it?
Yeah.
You're joking?
No, no, because I want Yia Yia
to try, guys. Look.
Go on, what is it?
It's Gino Vino.
Oh, no. I mean...
So I make this wine in Sardinia.
I export all over the world
and I want Yia Yia to, er, try.
When she tastes it,
she'll understand how bad it is. OK.
Look at the colour.
That's enough, that's enough.
OK, can I have Yia Yia's plate?
Yeah, of course.
Thank you, Gordon.
'One thing that's abundantly clear
here is the family tradition.'
Delicious.
We've had an amazing day today
in Santorini
and the highlight for me
is this incredible dinner.
And she's been making it for decades
and it tastes delicious.
You know what's amazing about
this moussaka
is the spices in the meat.
I mean, it's full of flavours,
it's incredible.
That moussaka was unbelievable.
The one problem I have on this plate
are the tomato fritters.
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
She said just to wait
and she makes them better.
You make them better? Yeah, yeah.
She makes them better.
Er, and how are the shrimp, Yia Yia?
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
You fix it. Everything's fine.
Thank you.
Yia Yia really remind me
of my nonna, my grandmother,
her name was Flora.
This is the best moussaka
I've tasted in...
all my life, the best. Mwah.
And you are the best.
This is the best.
And I was thinking, if I could spend
one day with my nonna right now,
what would I pay?
Er, that was, that was great,
it was a great experience.
Salute.
Giamas.
Giamas.
Salute. Giamas.
This has got peach in there,
it's got flower, lavender.
SHE SPEAKS GREEK
What she say?
It's just good.
Ah, see?
You get a hint of pineapple...
Finished with paint stripper.
This is stunning.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey, look at that.
Come on, take it in. Look at that.
That is a postcard.
It is.
You should go first
because if something happened,
I-I can rely on your shoulder.
How beautiful is this, come on?
Oh, wow! Look at that.
Have you ever eaten in a more
romantic, beautiful place than this?
I think we're never gonna be able
to come back here
and have the experience
that we have now.
You know, time is so precious.
Yeah, you're right.
What's the best meal you ever had,
or you ever cooked?
Oh, man.
I think cooking for Lady Di once.
Was she nice?
Ah, beautiful. I mean, just...
Here's renowned as the super model
of the islands, you know, Santorini,
and she by far was one of the most
gracious members of the Royal family
I've ever met. I mean,
a princess in just absolutely...
Through and through.
Yeah, oh, my God. Freddo?
With Mum and Dad, every Christmas
we have a seafood platter,
just oysters, langoustines, mussels,
I mean, you can imagine,
everything's on that platter.
I haven't seen them since
the beginning of the pandemic,
so to go back in France and have
that meal, that would be fantastic.
And yours? The most sort of...
significant cook or... place?
I think it has to be
the most significant meal I had,
er, 13 of August 2017.
I went to see my mum...
Oh, really?
..and um, she cooked an amazing
spaghetti vongole.
Such a simple thing with garlic
and bit of cherry tomato and clams.
Amazing.
The day after, she died.
I think, I think...
I think it's kind of, erm...
It feels that she knew
that she was going to die,
so she put everything in that,
erm, meal. Er, you know what I mean?
It's one of those very weird,
er, thing.
Amazing.
MUSIC: 'Follow The Sun'
by Xavier Rudd
This is what it's all about, guys.
This. Breathe and silence.
Next stop, Mykonos.
And you two seriously need
to behave yourselves.
Mykonos, that's a party town.
Are we gonna party?
No, we're not gonna party.
Oh.
We're gonna fucking party.
Listen, we've been indoors
for one year, I want to party.
We're gonna fucking party.
'Our final island hop is 70 miles
north of Santorini.
'The magical island of Mykonos.'
MUSIC: 'Summer'
by Calvin Harris
This is the party island!
Yeah, but it, it's closed, Gino.
What?
'Enjoying almost double
the sunny days we have at home,
'Mykonos is famous as being
a paradise
'for jet-set party animals...
ordinarily.'
I cannot believe
there's gonna be no party.
It's like we've got the island
for ourselves.
Gino, we're gonna have a party,
we're gonna have fun.
'We're back on the road,
'but this time with a steady pair
of hands at the wheel.'
Mind the pigeon, mind the pigeon!
Fred, this is how to drive
a tuk-tuk.
HORN BEEPS
Ooh, my hat!
They call it the windy island
for a reason.
D'you know, guys, these windmill,
they were built by the Venetian
in the 16th century and there are 16
on the island in total.
And obviously they were used
back in the day to mill the wheat.
Mind the cat on the roads.
Argh! Fuck.
Gordon... you're insane.
You know, Mykonos...
Fuck it, never mind.
'We couldn't come to this island
and not tickle our taste buds
'with a hugely popular
local speciality -
'the Mykonos sausage.'
The Ramsay family in Scotland
has a reputation for making
fantastic sausage. It's in my DNA.
It's in your DNA,
it's about a fisherman,
it's about being a butcher,
it's about being a boat driver,
it's all in your DNA.
I'm taking you to a butcher
that's been running
for three generations and supplying
the sort of jet-set crowd
of Mykonos.
We've got a barbecue this afternoon,
let's just buy some sausages.
Good idea, Gordon.
This is one of the best butchers
anywhere in Mykonos.
He must make a lot of sausages.
'All About Meat
is a family-run business,
'established over 50 years ago.'
Gentlemen, good morning.
Hello, sir.
What a gorgeous butchery.
Thank you very much, sir.
My grandfather used to be a butcher.
Is this one of your fake family
that you have in Scotland?
You do not call my grandfather
a fake butcher.
Let me tell you,
he'll cut your nuts off.
'Vassilis and Alexis serve
their gourmet meat
'to the island's
discerning customers.'
And is it, er, Scottish beef?
That one is French.
Oh.
FRED SINGS FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM
Relax, relax, it's horse meat.
It's not, you can see.
MOO
Can you tell me,
how good are your sausages?
What makes them so special?
Well, the most special one here
is, er, the Mykonian sausage.
How many do you sell, though?
Er, about 700 kilos a week.
700 kilos.
How many sausages is 700 kilo?
Maybe a little bit more.
And that's a special
Mykonian sausage.
That's the Mykonian sausage.
It can only be found here?
The herbs, yes.
It's got throubi inside,
which is something between thyme
and oregano.
So you've got a throubin' sausage?
Yeah.
THEY LAUGH
With pork, I'm guessing?
With pork, yeah.
OK, do you do other meats as well,
or just pork?
In a traditional Mykonian sausage
it's only pork.
I'm the best sausage maker
in the world,
I can make sausage with anything.
Prove it. Prove it.
Ah?
Prove it.
Yeah, but not today
because I've got new shirt on.
I don't want to show off.
That's for you. There you go.
Don't be a wuss, Gino, you said it.
But I can do whatever I want?
I can put anything I want in there?
Guys, you have no idea
what you've got yourself into.
'With Gino having talked his way
into the prep room...'
Once you made one sausage,
you know exactly what you're doing.
'..I felt it only right
I offer up my own sausage -
'a coarsely chopped, herby,
pork number I call a Girthy Gordon.'
This is too coarse.
No, I want it coarse for texture.
You're telling me how to make
a fucking sausage.
I forgot about the, er,
family sausage.
'Obviously Gino is being
more experimental,
'adding a local sheep's cheese
called manouri.'
Why do you put the cheese in there?
The cheese is gonna be fantastic.
No, really?
Yeah, it makes the sausage creamier.
'While I keep an eye on
the cheesy Italian,
'Fred is taking a closer look at
'another Mykonos meat speciality -
louza.'
Basically, it's the strip loin
of the pork. Right.
We basically cure it in salt
for 24 hours. OK.
We put herbs around it.
Right.
And we hang it for about 40 days.
You know, this process reminds me
of my grandfather.
I mean, he used to do all sorts
of charcuteries and ham,
and he used to dry them
in his attic.
Can we try some?
Of course.
If you blow the skin,
it'll open up the passage.
Not the skin in your mouth,
just blow the beginning
to open it up.
'Getting sausage meat
into the casing
'requires a little bit more
precision.
'But this shouldn't be a problem
'for an experienced sausage handler
like Gino.'
Here we go.
OK, not too tight.
It's exploding.
I've got it. I think I've got it.
OK, not too tight.
OK, where am I gonna put this one?
Twist.
How long are you making the sausage?
Huh?
Twist the fucking thing.
I'm panicking.
Twist the...
What do you mean twist it?
What am I fucking twisting?
Break. Break and twist. Roll.
OK. Now is not the time to twist.
Well, now you've got
one big, long sausage.
Look at the size
of that fucking thing.
Can you not slow
the flippin' machine?
It's already on slow.
It's a one-speed.
We've got a problem.
What's wrong?
Gino, fucking hell,
you're skin's split.
We can repair it, no?
So, twist and pull, right?
Yeah, there you go.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
That's a bit too big, that.
I mean, that's a little bit
over-excited.
Six, seven inches, right?
Is that not six, seven inches?
That? That's a twelve-incher.
How are you so precise
with your inches?
My grandfather was a butcher.
Eh, my grandfather was a butcher...
Now for the real sausage. Ready?
Not really... Go.
..but I'm going for it.
OK.
Right, start twisting.
Now?
Why are you doing long ones again?
Why are you doing that?
You told me
you'd made sausages before.
I know, but look...
It's a bit thicker.
Look what's happening,
there is a problem.
There is more sausage coming from
the nozzle than from the pipe here.
Your meat is too coarse.
This is not how to do sausages,
my friend.
You've fucked my sausage.
Mamma mia.
This fucking thing
went all over the place. I know.
'We're on the Greek island
of Mykonos.'
So you twist.
Twist.
OK, and one goes underneath.
Yeah.
'While Gino and get to grips
with my super-size sausage
'for our beach barbecue,
'Fred is tucking into
a local louza. '
Oh, what a platter.
Wow, look at that.
What do you think?
I think it's beautiful.
It's great to have with tomatoes,
olives, er, some kind of, er, cheese
and obviously the company
of good friends
and having a good laugh, you know.
This is so delicious.
Can we have some to take away
for the barbecue?
Of course, yeah. I'll sort that out.
Ah, here they are.
I cannot wait for Fred to see
your sausages. Wow.
Wow, well done.
So now you dry these for...?
About three days. Three days.
We haven't got time to dry them out
before we go to the beach.
I've got an idea,
sort of a fast track - air dry.
Er, Gordon, slow down
a little bit there.
Gordon, slow down!
Watch the cactus.
Oh!
MUSIC: 'Voulez-Vous'
by ABBA
Seriously, Gordon, you are gonna
give me a heart attack.
My God, man. My breakfast is...
GINO BURPS
Gordon, this is not enjoyable.
It's the wind. It's the wind!
I'm just trying to get some wind
under my sausages.
Right, we're near the beach,
are my sausages dry?
Or do I need to go round
the mountain one more time?
I just want to have a drink
and relax.
I'm so excited to taste
these sausages.
Where are we gonna set it up?
Let's do it over here.
Just there.
They look nice now, though.
These are mine, is it?
Yeah, but see how dry they are.
A little bit of olive oil in there.
Liquid golds.
Look at that.
Hey, these are looking good.
They smell nice.
Now if you turn that gas off
for a minute, I'll show you why.
Bollocks.
Oh!
Flippin' heck!
Seriously?!
What you brushing off?
THEY LAUGH
I didn't realise there was some sand
inside the lid.
Greece has been wonderful.
It's a beautiful place,
the people are brilliant,
and the food, flippin' amazing.
Watch, watch how he's gonna
cut his leg off.
We're on a beach, we improvise.
The Greek islands
have been fantastic.
Discovering these beautiful
local traditions and local food,
and spending time with my mates.
I mean, come on,
what can be better than that?
The first one with the big,
thick chunks of pork is mine.
All spice. Mm.
Love the texture.
I have to commend you on
the seasoning, very good.
I think that the extra sand,
it gives that little crunch,
which is beautiful with the sausage.
We're on the beach and sometimes
as the wind picks up,
a little bit of sand may go
on your sausage, OK? OK.
You know, I just tried
Gino's sausage.
Because of the cheese,
it's multi-dimensional.
I wasn't a big fan of the idea
of the cheese,
but it's actually put
a nice flavour on that one.
A sort of, given the sausage
a little bit of a sharpness,
which I quite like.
I like them both.
I can't make my mind up.
I'm the same as you.
I like them both, yeah.
Shall I make you a cocktail?
What have you conjured up?
Well, it's like a Mykonos mule.
Simple, little bit of sugar,
some thyme, grapefruit juice,
the raki.
Everywhere I go,
I just wanna open my eyes
and sort of bed into
what's happening locally.
That smells very strong.
Well, I added a bit more raki
than the recipe.
And the Greek Isles provided that,
um, beyond belief.
What an experience.
Next stop, Athens.
I need to drive, please.
OK, if he wants to drive...
Let him drive.
I can't wait to get to Athens.
Birthplace of democracy,
of philosophy.
So many things were born there.
To Gordon, Gino and Fred,
the party that never ends.
I have to be honest, I've never been
in Athens before.
Er, I know that there is a lot
of things to learn, er,
pyramids to go and see...
Cheers.
PRODUCER: Pyramids are in Egypt,
they're not Athens.
No, er, pyramids in Athens?
No? Oh, right.
Eh, potato, potato.
'Next time...'
..we're in the Greek capital,
Athens.'
This is the birthplace
of civilisation.
I wanna show you something.
Whoa!
'On a culinary pilgrimage.'
What did the monk said to the nun
on a salad bar?
'Seeking out food from the gods.'
Cherche les truffes!
Yes! Look at the size of that.
Do you wanna Viagra Negroni?
This is awesome!
Gino!
I feel it.
'And we'll separate the men
from the boys.'
Come here, you French bastard!
Oh!
'In our very own
Clash Of The Titans.'
Three, two, one...
WHISTLE BLOWS
Ooh, wait for me.
LAUGHTER