Good Times (1974–1979): Season 6, Episode 7 - J.J. the Teacher - full transcript

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪
♪ Anytime you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and survivin' ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow line ♪
♪ Good times ♪



♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

Man, I got a good feeling
about this job application.

Keith Anderson, bank
managerial trainee. Mmm!

Hey, Keith, on that application,
do they ask if you're black?

No, but when I get there for the
interview, I'll be sure to tell them.

You know, it's also against
the law to ask about your sex.

Now, baby, that's something
I'm not gonna tell them about.

Come here, you. Keith,
you better cut it out!

I see here where Romeo's
climbing up Juliet's balcony again.

Would you warn somebody
when you walk into a room...

Like rattle your brain?

Look here, bear face.

When y'all get
the urge to merge,



why don't y'all put up a flashing
red light like they do in Hollywood...

with a little sign outside
saying, "Love scene in progress.

Young man kisses the
Creature from the Black Lagoon"!

Move. J.J., I'd
break you in half,

but, you see, I don't want
to have two of you around.

Hey, Michael, you gonna let him
talk to your big brother like that?

Not if I can do it
first, chicken ribs.

What do my eyes espy here?

Looks like, uh, two
bony fingers to me.

Looks more like
dust to me, Thelma.

Look here, I got a couple of art
students comin' over here in a minute,

and I don't want 'em
painting over dust.

Look, this is your jive
paintin' class. You dust!

I can see that I'm surrounded by
creative and mental midgets in here.

I mean, would
Rembrandt do furniture?

Would Michelangelo do windows?

No, but he did
ceilings. [Laughs]

Look, you better start doing your
share of the work around here.

You hear that, puny Picasso?

You got some nerve, you
old crocodile face! Don't start!

[All Arguing]

[Arguing Continues]

At ease!

All day long I have to handle
a bus full of screaming kids,

and there's only
one thing worse...

Coming home to a house
full of screaming kids.

Aw, you had a bad
day, huh? Let me tell ya.

You know that Leroy Jr. who's always
beating up on little Billy Washington?

Well, Billy brought
his dog on the bus.

And before I
could stop the fight,

Leroy bit the dog.

[Laughing] Ma, he bit...

Now will somebody tell
me what started all this?

J.J.'s stupid art class again.

I'll tell you what
started all this, Ma.

June 18, 1957...

The day Omen III was born.

Mama, J.J.'s art
classes are here.

I mean, this apartment
is crowded enough.

Michael, it may be
crowded, but the fees...

that J.J. gets from his students
is helping to pay the rent.

Ma, he only has two students.

Clumsy Earl, who eats more
than he paints, and Dumb Donna.

- Dumb Donna?
- That's right.

Dumb Donna.

When you asked her if she
was ready to work in oils,

she said, "Mazola or Crisco?"

That's dumb, honey.

Well, you got to admit that that
little Earl Mitchell really has got talent.

Michael, did you see this
one? Let me see, Mama.

Hold on. Yeah, that
one's really good.

But did you take a
look at this monstrosity?

What do you call it?
Hey, come on, Michael,

Donna's one of
my prize students.

Uh, this is a,
uh... this is a, uh...

An abstract version of
pizza with everything on it.

But it looks like an
explosion in a paint factory.

[Knocking] Well, look here,
y'all. Donna's got a lot of talent.

It's just a matter of bringing
it out. You know? [Scoffs]

Hi, J.J.

It looks like her
problem is keeping it in.

Hi, everybody. Hello, Donna.

Nice to see you
again. Hi, Michael.

Yeah, baby, you
got a lot of talent.

[Muttering]

Oh. [Mouthing Words]

J.J., I just know I'm gonna be
a famous artist some day. Yes.

I saw the cutest purple
smock today. Mm-hmm.

It was low... It was low-cut in
front, and it comes up to here.

So what do you think, J.J.?

Oh, if Lautrec saw that he
would really be too loose!

Mon cheri, la amore de fabor.

Lord, have mercy.

Say, Donna, how'd you get
started in that painting stuff?

Well, all my friends at school just
rave about the way I paint my nails.

Yes! Yeah.

Ah... Ah, Keith darling,
let's go to a movie.

A movie? Yes, a movie.

You know that movie
with Peter Falk? Oh, yeah.

Peter Falk movie. Right.

[Imitating Peter Falk] Oh,
excuse me there, lady. Uh.

You see, there's one thing I
wanna ask you. It's a simple question.

Oh, geez, I forgot the question. You see,
it's about the great form you have there.

- My wife has a form like it...

[Continues, Indistinct]
- Uhh! [Chuckles]

Um... Um, see ya later,
okay? Bye-bye, everybody.

You, come on along. [Mumbling]

Wow, he's nice. But
he sure talks funny.

He certainly does.
He certainly does.

Well, what's the
lesson for today, J.J.?

[Coughs] Well, uh... [Giggling]

the, uh, lesson for
today is to, uh-uh,

erase what you did yesterday.

Uh, no. I mean, uh,

Donna, I think you're gonna
need a little more private instruction.

Ohh. Yeah. [Knocking]

Come in.

- Oh, hey there, Earl. How ya doin'?
- Hey, J.J.

Sorry I'm late.

You wouldn't believe what
happened to me today. Hi, Earl.

Oh, hi, Mrs...

[Earl Grunting]

If I, uh, dirtied
any of the fruit,

I'll eat it.

It's all right.

- What happened
to your other shoe?
- Oh, my shoe.

Oh, well, uh,

I spotted this pigeon
who hurt his foot.

So you gave him your other shoe.

Uh, no, but, uh, there was a cat that
was ready to pounce on the pigeon,

so I threw my shoe at the cat.

Oh, I see.

No, I don't!

- What happened
to your other shoe, boy?
- Uh, well,

uh, when my shoe
missed the cat... Yeah?

It fell into an open manhole
and hit a man on the head.

I've never seen anybody so mad.

He held up my shoe and
said, "Hey, kid, is this yours?"

I said, "No, it
belongs to the pigeon."

And I ran all the way over here.

Boy!

J.J., my nose is itchin'.

Oh, Penny, you
can't scratch it now.

Earl's in the middle of
painting your left nostril.

But I have to scratch it.

Hey, look here, Penny. You
should've thought of that before.

You know, whenever
Napoleon had a portrait done

of him, he knew his
stomach was gonna itch.

That was how come he always
held his hand right in there.

Okay. [Groans]

Earl, you really can
paint, honey. Thank you.

[Willona] Mm-hmm. Penny, lesson's
over for today, so you can take a rest.

Same time, same
station tomorrow though.

Uh, J.J., aren't you
forgetting something?

My modelin' fee?
Twenty-five cents an hour.

Oh, yeah. What?

Somebody picked my pocket.

Goodness. Well,
look, I'll get it to you,

but in the meanwhile...

how 'bout a banana and a apple?

Farrah Fawcett never worked
for bananas and apples.

A banana and apple?
You're too kind, cheapskate.

Let's go home, baby. Oh, wait a
minute. Gotta tell Thelma something.

- They're not in the bedroom.
- Say what?

I knew sooner or later they
had to come up for some air.

They went to the
movies, Willona.

Well, honey, if those two
are up to their usual tricks,

even the Eyes of Laura Mars
will be looking at them. [Laughs]

Listen, tell Thelma
the new French bikinis

came into the boutique
this afternoon, honey.

Whoo! Sixty percent off!

Wow, that's some sale.

That's not off the price,
honey. That's off the bikini.

[Laughs] I swear I was
born wearing more than that.

Oh, you! I'll catch you later.

Honey, take your money.
The jive so-and-so...

Hi, Penny. Hi,
Willona. Hi, baby.

Ooh, Ma, that food smells
good. When we gonna eat?

As soon as somebody
sets the table.

Hey, I'm ready. I will.

Oh... Oh, what are we havin'?

- Spaghetti, Earl.
- Oh, I love spaghetti.

[Chuckles] So do I, but
it always goes to my hips.

Gee, I never noticed.
You're just as big on top.

I... I-I mean, uh,
you're built real solid.

I-I mean... You
know what I mean.

Yeah, but I wish I didn't.

Earl, don't your parents ever say
anything about you always eating over here?

- Well, my parents are divorced.
- Oh, so you live
with your father?

Yeah, I guess he
lost the custody fight.

But he doesn't mind me eating
here. I told him I feel right at home.

Why, thank you,
Earl. Sure, all that...

hollering and screamin' that goes on
around here doesn't bother me at all.

I mean... I didn't
mean it that way.

I mean... It's all right, Earl.

What does your father do?
Well, he's a construction worker.

He works so hard that when he
comes home it's three-B time for him.

"Three-B"? Beer, belch and bed.

Well, you can tell him
for me that we think...

- you are very talented,
very nice and very...
- Ooh! I'm sorry.

- Very coordinated.
- [Knocking]

I'm Frank Mitchell.
Is my son Earl here?

Oh, there are you. Boy, I been
looking all over town for you!

Didn't I tell you I didn't want to have
to come looking for you? Ow! Ow! Pop!

You can't be pulling that
kid's ear like that! Say what?

Uhh, van Gogh... Yes, he did.

Van Gogh got along very
well with one ear. Yes, he did.

That's no way to treat the boy.
Earl is my brother's best student.

Not anymore. From now on,
he's your brother's ex-student.

Come on, you.

Hey, Donna, you can't quit
taking my art lessons now.

So what if you painted a
dog that looked like a giraffe.

Haven't you ever heard of a
long-necked Doberman? [Knocking]

All right, bye.

First Earl quits taking my
art lessons, now Donna.

What worse could happen?

It just happened.

All right, J.J. There ain't
nothing in your lease that says...

you can use this
apartment for an art studio.

Now, how does the
word "eviction" grab you?

Go ahead, Bookman. Evict me,
torture me, put me on the rack,

show me pictures of your wife.

I'm washed up anyway.
Well, what's wrong, man?

I just lost my only
two art students.

You mean, you only had two
students and they both quit?

Yeah, Bookman. [Guffaws]

Whoo-hoo!

- Hey, Bookman, what's so funny?
- I mean, you got an art class
with no students.

You know what that
means? No. What?

That means you
ain't got no class.

Get it, J.J.? "No class"?

I get it, Bookman. Now,
there's the door. You get it.

I mean, if you want to practice
you can always paint me, man.

Look, Bookman, I
don't paint landscapes.

That's right. I've heard of
the Leaning Tower of Pisa,

but I'd never paint the
Slumping Pile of Lasagna.

That does it!

Hey, look out, clown!

Hi, J.J. Hey, Earl.
What you doin' here?

I'm here for an art lesson.
My father changed his mind.

Don't you believe me?

Earl, I believe you as much as I believe
Mean Joe Greene sleeps with a teddy bear.

I guess I'm not a
very good liar, huh?

I just want to finish
my portrait of Penny.

J.J., if I can't paint, I'm
lost. Yeah, I'm the same way.

Hey, but don't worry.
I'll figure out something.

I'll tell my mother... Well,
I'll tell her a little white lie.

What I'll tell... Okay,
J.J. What will you tell me?

Uh, that Earl painted
a picture of an apple...

that looks so real there
were worms on the canvas.

Now, J.J., you know how Mr. Mitchell
feels about Earl taking art lessons.

Aw, Ma, but it's unfair.

I'm teaching the guy a skill, so one
day he can hold his head up high...

and be a genuine
starving artist.

I don't why he won't let me be
an artist. I can't do anything else.

I couldn't even put together a
jigsaw puzzle if it had one piece.

Mama, suppose Earl had to give up
his dreams of wanting to be an artist.

You wouldn't want that on
your conscience, would you?

Now, Michael, don't you
try to push me into a corner.

You forget one thing.
Earl isn't my son.

Yeah, but just suppose...
Suppose he was.

Would you want somebody like
Mr. Mitchell stomping all over his future?

J.J., if Earl was my son, I wouldn't
want anybody teaching him to disobey me.

So I'm not going to interfere with
the way he chooses to raise Earl.

Earl? Earl, wait a minute.

Well, he didn't say
anything about visiting.

Anybody for pie? Yeah!

All right then.

Dive right in, Earl. Make
yourself feel right at home there.

[Loud Knocking]

Uh-oh.

Either that's your father, or the
Avon lady's got brass knuckles.

I'll get the door.

Wait, don't tell him
I'm here. Please.

[Florida] Earl!

Oh, hi, Mr. Mitchell.
He's here again, isn't he?

[Stammering] He's-He's...

Uh, who you
looking for, stranger?

You know damn well
who I'm looking for.

Uh, well, we got so many art
students here, I get confused.

Come on, come on. Stop
jiving. Where's my boy?

Uh, a fellow about
this high, big Afro?

Yeah. Yeah. Michael, he's
talking about that little Korean boy.

All right. Then I'll ask you.

You don't see him here, do you?

Earl, you in there? [Earl] No!

- Uh-huh.
- Well, you heard him.

Don't you believe your own son?

You get out here, boy! You're
about to get the whippin' of your life!

- Mr. Mitchell, calm down.
- You mind your own business,
woman!

I said, calm down!

Well, I did ask you nicely.

All right. I'm calm.
Why, thank you.

Now, can't we talk about
this sensibly, parent to parent?

All right, parent. Tell me.

Who gave you the right to interfere with
another parent trying to raise his kid?

Believe me, Mr. Mitchell,
that's farthest from my mind.

But why are you so dead set
against the child taking art lessons?

It's a waste of time.

- It's just
a couple of hours a week.
- Then it's a waste of money.

Well, then I'll give him a special
J.J. Evans Free Scholarship...

for Sons with
Hardheaded Fathers. J.J.

It's a waste of hope!

Hope is never a
waste, Mr. Mitchell.

Oh, sure. You gonna tell
me that canvas over there...

is some magic carpet
to fame or fortune.

But I don't close my eyes to the
fact my boy and I live in a ghetto!

You don't have to tell me that.

Do we look like we get
room service around here?

Then you should understand. Here
we are, and here's where we're stuck!

- Don't you care about
your son's future?
- Sure, I care about my kid.

But where's he goin'? He got two left feet
and 10 thumbs. [Clattering, Shattering]

See what I mean? Oh, my Lord.

Earl, what's going
on? What happened?

Oh, it's okay. I
didn't break much.

Just something that smells like
burnt rubber. It's called "Ghetto Musk."

Ghetto Musk? That's
my best cologne!

How much of it
can you sponge up?

When that boy was born, I hoped and
prayed he'd be an athlete or a performer...

Some kind of job to
get him out of the ghetto.

But Earl... The first thing he does after
he gets up in the morning is fall down.

I'm telling you, that
boy could trip over lint.

He can't do nothing. I've seen
people fall off of a scaffold...

with better coordination
than what that boy's got.

Mr. Mitchell, instead of
harping on what he can't do,

why don't you talk
about what he can do?

Yeah. Look at
this, Mr. Mitchell.

He did this with 10 thumbs? I'm telling
you, the boy could paint with his feet.

In my opinion, I think Earl
has the potential of being...

one of the best artists
out of the ghetto since...

Since me! And that's the
best compliment I can give him.

This-This painting business...
It's a pastime for white folks.

What'd somebody do, bleach me?

Where have you
been, Mr. Mitchell?

What makes you think
that sports and show

business are the only
way out of the ghetto?

A lot of our people
are serious artists.

That's right. Haven't
you ever heard of artists...

like Ernie Barnes, Charles
White or Bernie Casey?

Come on. I ain't never
heard of no black man

getting out of the
ghetto with a paintbrush.

Oh, yeah? What about the guy who
painted the white line down the freeway?

J.J., please.

Earl, you get out here right now! Will
you get that boy out of your bathroom?

I want him out here right now!

Now, Earl... There you are.

You goin' home with me, and
you ain't ever coming back again.

- You got that?
- No.

Boy, you don't hear so good.
You come back here again,

you gonna get a worse whippin'
than the one you gonna get tonight!

I'm comin' back, Pa. I
swear I'm gonna whip you.

And I'll come back again.
And I'll whip you again!

Then I guess that's just how
it'll be till one of us gives up.

What am I gonna
do with this boy?

Well, for starters
you can try listening.

I just wanna talk
for myself, just once.

All right then. Talk.

I don't know what to say.

Maybe you could try telling me why you
just have to do this fool paintin' thing.

Pa, I have to. It's my life.

You really think you gonna
paint your way out of the ghetto?

I'm not trying to paint
my way out of the ghetto.

I just want to paint the ghetto!

Well, for somebody who
didn't know what to say,

you said that very good, son.

Okay, then.

You throw your life away
takin' paintin' lessons,

but you ain't gonna
use my money to do it.

Where you been gettin' money to
take them lessons? You been stealin'?

I been usin' my lunch money.

Oh, my Lord. No wonder the
poor child is always so hungry.

Yeah. And all this time I
thought he had a tapeworm.

Mr. Mitchell, my brother J.J. did
say he'd give Earl free lessons.

No, no, the Mitchells
don't take no charity.

I'll pay for the lessons.

Pa, you don't have to.

You shootin' off your
mouth again, huh?

I said I'd pay for the
lessons, and that's final!

Don't be a stubborn fool...

like your father.

Pretty good, huh, Mr. Mitchell?

We Mitchells don't do
anything pretty good.

It's great.

Th-Thanks, Pa.

♪♪ [Piano]

♪♪ [Humming]

♪ Just lookin' out
of the window ♪

♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how it all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times Good times ♪

♪♪ [Continues] Good Times is
videotaped before a studio audience.

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪