Good Times (1974–1979): Season 6, Episode 4 - Florida's Homecoming: United We Stand - full transcript

Thelma, you're gorgeous. You're sweet.
You're the best woman I've ever met.

And I'm not marryin'
you for your cookin'.

What... Wait, wait, wait.
Would you re-re-re-repeat that?

I said, I'm not marryin'
Thelma for her cooking.

Is that a proposal? It is.

[All] We accept!

Oh! And-And Mom's
gonna be at the wedding too.

[Chattering]

I'm home!

Well, I'd better come
right to the point.

Well, let's do that. How
much, and how soon?



Right now.

I don't find this easy to say, but
we're gonna have to let you go.

Let me go?

Well, look, Sweet
Daddy ain't marryin' her,

but I'm the one lent you the
money to pay for her weddin'.

Trust me, Sweet Daddy,
I'll pay you back somehow.

I know you will,
'cause you're lucky.

See, Tight-lip Mary
ran it down to me...

that your sister is marryin'
a big-time football player...

who is up for a
million-dollar contract.

So Sweet Daddy's gonna use
that sucker for collateral. Uh...

I've been waiting a
long time to give you this.

Oh, Ma. I'm gonna give it right back
after the wedding. Oh, no, you won't.

Oh, Ma, this is something
you've always treasured.



That's why I'm
giving it to you, honey.

My mother gave it to me,
and she treasured it too.

Aah! [Screams] Keith!

J.J., my man, you in trouble.

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪
♪ Anytime you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and survivin' ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow line ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

[Man Narrating] And tonight, the
conclusion of "Florida's Homecoming."

Hey, Michael, just don't be
leanin' on the ladder like that.

Hold the thing. I could
fall and hurt myself.

Not if you fall on your head.

Hey, Michael, don't hassle me.

I got enough problems as it is.

Keith is blaming me for
busting up his million-dollar leg.

J.J., now, you know that wasn't
your fault, man. It was an accident.

I know that, Michael. I even
went to the hospital to see him.

But he put out a sign
outside his door that says,

"Do Not Disturb.
Occupant Deceased."

Then I tried to write
him a get-well card,

and he sent 'em back
marked, "Suck eggs."

From that, I drew
the conclusion that...

I was not on his Christmas list.

But that doesn't
make any difference.

I'm still on Sweet
Daddy's critical list.

Hey, J.J., you think he'll
send his hoods after you?

Let me put it to you
this way, Michael.

Don't have no fans around here,

'cause something's gonna be
hittin' it, and it's gonna be me.

J.J., you're so skinny...

that you'd go right through the
blades without gettin' touched.

You know, Brother, that's not the
only problem you got on your hands.

- Oh, yeah? What's that?
- You can't spell.

B-R-I-D-L-E is for horses.

Michael, I did that to
loosen things up around here.

'Cause, see, I know
that Keith and Thelma are

gonna be spendin'
their honeymoon in there,

and there's gonna be
a lot of horsing around.

Girl, did you notice what they
were chargin' for a head of lettuce?

Hi, kids. Hi, Mom. Hi, Willona.

Aw. J.J., you misspelled a word.

That "bridle" is for a horse.

Well, Keith and Thelma are gonna
spend their honeymoon in there.

There's gonna be a
whole lot of horsin' around.

[Laughing]

I laid an egg. So did J.J.

But it's a lot harder for
a rooster to do it. Whoo!

Hey, J.J., come on. Let's
go finish with the bridal suite.

In a minute, Michael. Hey, Ma,

I sprayed the bridal suite
with my special new cologne...

called the Die Hard...

Guaranteed to get you started
even on the coldest days.

I laid out Keith's fanciest silk pajamas
and Thelma's sexiest nightgown.

If that don't stop Keith
from hating me, nothing will.

J.J., when he sees
her in that nightgown,

honey, he won't only forget you, he'll
forget October, November and December,

and maybe even New Year's Eve.

Poor J.J. He means well,

but he's just like that little old
lady driving down the freeway.

Nothing happens to her, but right
behind her there's a 10-car smashup.

Lord, girl!

Well, I'd better get busy if I
wanna have a nice dinner...

waiting for Keith when he
gets home from the hospital.

[Rumbling, Clattering]

Lord, have mercy. What
is that? Oh, it's the pipes.

That Bookman. He's been
promising to fix this faucet...

ever since I got home.

Keith and Thelma were looking forward
to spending a nice honeymoon someplace.

Now they gotta spend it here.

Well, it's like having a
bridal suite on the Titanic.

Well, let's hope they won't
have to stay here long.

Good afternoon,
ladies. [Willona] Hey.

Hey, Booger, don't
you ever knock?

No. I always go for gin.

Hey, that ain't the way
to spell "bridal suite."

- Oh?
- Suite is S-W-E-E-T.

Where's all your boxes?
Y'all ain't packed yet?

Oh, my God!

You told me before the wedding you'd
be moving out at the end of the month.

Bookman, in all the
excitement, I forgot.

J.J. lost his job, and Keith
didn't sign his contract.

So we're just gonna
have to stay here.

No, it's too late. Oh,
come on, Bookman.

You couldn't have
rented the place already.

Say what? Why do you think
I'm up here to fix the faucets?

[Together] He rented it.

Oh, Bookman, come
on. You can't do this.

They have no place to stay. Hey,
that ain't no skin off my behind.

You wouldn't miss it nohow.

- Mr. Bookman?
- Uh-huh.

[Laughs] "Mr. Bookman"
when you want something.

Whatever happened
to "Buffalo Butt"?

I don't remember anybody around
here calling you that kind of a name.

No? What about "Whale Tail"?

"Moby Dick"? "Blubber Butt"?

I never called you
any of those names.

You blew it. Everybody else did.
I'm sorry. The apartment's rented.

Oh, Bookman, you know
that Keith had an accident.

- What's that got to do with me?
- Well, he's coming home
from the hospital today.

I still don't see what
that's got to do with me.

Bookman, can't
we discuss this...

over a nice piece
of sweet potato pie?

Now, that's got
something to do with me.

Look, I'm only accepting
this just to be social. Okay?

I mean, it has no
bearing on your staying.

Well, I made this for Keith.

But he certainly
couldn't eat a whole pie.

That's right. With
his leg busted up, we

don't know whether
pie is even good for him.

Yeah, if he ate a whole
pie, it could make him sick.

Thank you.

Mmm. Mmm! Delicious!

Good Lord, potato
pie tastes good.

You know somethin'? It's too bad
your kids are always making fun of me.

- Now, why would you say that?
- Like yesterday, one of 'em
wrote on the elevator,

"2,000-pound
capacity or Bookman."

- You know, I got feelings too.
- Of course you do, Booger.

Uh, I mean, Mr. Bookman.

You know, people think
I'm fat because I overeat.

It's not true. I just
have big bones. Oh.

Darling, you got
the biggest bones I...

And I'm just crazy
about them bones.

Mr. Bookman, how
would you like...

some ice cream to go
with your sweet potato pie?

Oh, no, no. What kind?

We got chocolate and strawberry.

My favorite. You know
something, Mrs. Evans?

Call me Florida.

Thank you, Ms. Woods.
Call me 31 Flavors.

All at your disposal, and
nothing gets by your disposal.

You know somethin'?
I was just thinkin'.

The Hawkins family... I don't
think they'd make very good tenants.

They all look like
they're on diets.

Besides, y'all are
very nice folks. Oh!

Hey, there, Moby Dick, what
do you hear from Buffalo Butt?

Yeah, you cause
any tidal waves lately?

On second thought, I think the Hawkins
family are gonna love this apartment.

Michael, J.J.? Yes, Ma?

Mr. Bookman has just
been kind enough...

to say he's gonna forget about us
telling him we were gonna move out.

Hey, thank you, lardo.

Your heart's almost as big
as your old buffalo buns. J.J.!

[Chuckles] Just jivin',
Bookman. Just jivin'.

Hey, look. It's all right.
Everything's cool. Y'all can stay.

But I gotta go, because me and
Mrs. Bookman's going out to dinner.

You know, he's okay, and I was gettin'
tired of calling him Buffalo Butt anyway.

Let's see now. Rhino Rump.

Rhino Rear. Has a good
ring to it. That's a good one.

I'll see y'all later.
[Florida] Okay, Willona.

Well, Ma, we should be thankful.
At least we have a place to stay.

Whoever thought we'd
be thankful for this?

Don't worry about
it, Ma. I'll get a job.

I mean, I'm black, young
and from the ghetto.

And all the unemployment
statistics point to the fact that...

I'm gonna remain an
unemployment statistic.

Oh, now, J.J.,
don't give up hope.

Hi, everybody!
[Michael] Hi, Thelma.

Hey, Keith. Welcome home, Keith.

Hey, brother-in-law!
Hold it right there, J.J.

Back up.

Oh, come on, Keith.
Now take it easy, huh?

As long as I gotta stay here, I want
that totem-pole brother of yours...

at least one room
length away from me.

Thelma, why don't you make
Keith comfortable on the couch?

Okay, Ma. Come on, Keith.

Now, Keith, you know that...

J.J. was just trying to
welcome you home. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Everything's
gonna be all right.

I'm gonna protect you. Nobody's
gonna even touch that leg of y...

Uh, I guess I just got
a little carried away.

Thanks to you, I
got carried away.

Ma, doesn't Keith
look wonderful?

Oh, he looks fine, Thelma. When
are you gonna join your football team?

Dr. Bronson, my surgeon, said I should
be off these crutches in a couple of weeks.

But as far as playing
football, he wants a second

opinion from another
orthopedic specialist.

Hey, don't get a second opinion. The only
reason doctors want a second opinion...

is so they can afford to
invest in condominiums.

Hey, newlyweds, how would you
like to take a look at your bridal suite?

Oh, yeah. And that
was all J.J.'s idea.

Terrific. You know, a week ago,

Thelma and I were moving into a
penthouse suite overlooking Lake Michigan.

You could see the sailboats
sweeping across the lake.

Now look at the view I got...

An alley with Bookman's
underwear on a clothesline.

Well, when there's
a good breeze,

Bookman's drawers
billow out just like a sail.

Keith, look. We have to
make the best of this, okay?

This is not what I had in mind
for our honeymoon. Look, Keith.

I'll try to make it up to you. From now on,
I'll be your complete honeymoon service.

I'll be at your beck and call. All
you have to do is just sing out...

anytime day or night,

knowing that my ear
will be at your door.

I mean, uh,

I will always and never be
far away from your bedside.

Uh, what I, uh...

What he means is he
didn't mean any of that.

[Phone Ringing]

Hello? Yes, he is.

Oh, okay. Um, it's
Dr. Bronson, Keith.

I guess he has
that second opinion.

Okay, Doc, let's hear it.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, thanks for
the word, Doc. Bye.

Keith? What did Dr. Bronson say?

- Nothin' good.
- You mean you can't
play football anymore?

Sure, I can. Anytime I want. Except
for one little problem. [Florida] What?

He said if I ever get a good hit in
this knee, I'll never walk straight again.

Well, there goes everything down
the drain... my contract, my future.

Didn't even get a
chance to play pro ball.

Went right from a
never-was to a has-been.

Keith, don't give up.

Keith, you know, the
doctors could be wrong.

Those were two of the best
orthopedic surgeons in the world.

They both agree it'd be murder
if I tried playing football again.

Well, Keith, get
a third opinion,

a fourth opinion,
a fifth opinion.

There must be one of those doctors
who's got more guts than the other ones.

Thanks, toothpick.

Oh, come on, Keith. Can't you
look at the bright side of things?

Like what? Like things are
never as bad as they seem.

It's always darkest
before the dawn.

Or as one old wise
man once said:

"You got nothing to worry about
as long as you got your health...

and two good legs to stand on."

J.J.!

Keith, remember, you
still got a college education.

Yeah, great. All they taught
me was to play football.

From now on, I'm a
typical black Ph.D...

Poor, hassled and depressed.

Keith, man, it's not
the end of the world.

Um, Keith, would you
like a nice, cold beer?

No! Well, let me put the
pillow underneath your leg.

Would you stop naggin'
me? Naggin' you? I...

Um, Keith, look.

I, uh... I'm only trying
to help you, you know,

and I do know what
you're going through.

How the hell do you know
what I've been going through?

Did you smash you knee? Did
you lose a million-dollar contract?

No, and I'm trying
not to lose a husband.

- Baby, I love you.
- Do you really love me?

- Yes.
- Then get off my case!

Wait a minute. Hold on,
Keith. Man, I know you're hurtin',

but you ain't been married to my
sister long enough to start yelling at her.

Hold on there, Michael.
Hold on. Let me handle it.

Take it easy.

Hey, look here, Keith. Thelma
has done nothing to hurt you,

nothing at all,
except for marry you.

Uh, I'm sorry, Thelma.
That didn't come out right.

Uh, what I mean is, if you want
somebody to pick on, I'm your man.

How do you want me to
kill myself, commit hara-kari?

Jump in Lake Michigan
and pollute myself to death?

Eat Thelma's cookin'? Tell me,
how do you want me to kill myself?

Give me a little time and I'll
think of something real good.

Now, Keith, you're
not being fair.

You're acting as if J.J.
hurt you on purpose.

That's right, man. He was just taking
your picture, and you tripped over him.

- Yeah, I was the one
that got rear-ended.
- I don't believe this.

I don't believe
this! I'm the victim,

and everyone's feeling sorry
for poor, misunderstood J.J.

Hey, Keith, brother-in-law, I think
you should back up there a little bit.

You know, you're not the
only victim around here.

My brother J.J. just lost his job,
but he still paid for your wedding.

And I was supposed to go
to college, but now that's out.

You see, I have to pitch
in and help around here.

So there goes my big dream.

Wait. You back up.
Back up, Michael.

Now, you're going to college just
like your daddy and I always planned.

Mama... Nobody's
gonna kill that dream.

Mama, I know you need
the extra money around here.

Michael, you can
get a part-time job.

And instead of going away, you
can go to college right here in Chicago.

Oh, wow. Man.

Now listen, everybody.

We've had lots of adversity.
Lord knows we have.

But we've never let
it get us down before,

and we're not gonna start
letting it get us down now.

Now, we're gonna fight our way out of
this. Things have just got to get better.

Not necessarily,
Mama. Not necessarily.

Look, Mr. Bloodsucker,

I don't take too kindly to folks like you
barging into my home without an invitation.

Madam, you are so right. Claude.

Inviting Sweet Daddy.

[Laughing]

So, how's that for proper...

[Fingers Snap] protocol?

You watch this protocol.

You get out of here now,
or I'm gonna call the police.

Well, then call my apartment, 'cause
that's where they playin' cards at.

And you can tell the chief of
police that Sweet Daddy said hello.

Hi, J.J.

Oh, hi, Sweets.

Look, y'all ain't got
nothin' to worry about.

I just came by to give my deepest
sympathies to the injured one.

- Thanks a lot.
- Not you, fool.

Him. Me?

I don't have an injury. That's an
oversight that is about to be corrected.

What is he talking about, J.J.?

Well, Ma, I borrowed a thou from
Sweets to pay for Thelma's wedding.

Yeah, at $400 a week interest.

Four hundred dollars?
You're nothin' but a robber!

Madam! [Clicking Tongue]

No, no. You see, I
prefer to think of myself...

as a provider to the needy.

And when Sweet Daddy
casts his bread on the waters,

he expects it to come
back with extra slices.

[Snaps] Dig?

Don't be sacrilegious.

This family pays its debts.

Now, you gonna get your thou,

but you won't get one
cent of that crooked interest.

[Snaps] You dig?

No interest?

Woman, is you a Commie?

I mean, I ain't
no social agency.

We got to think of
Sweet Daddy's image.

You don't have one.

Vampires don't cast images.

Funny! You got a funny
son. I mean, that's very funny.

I'm gonna remember
that if you ever grow up.

Now, folks, let's
just get serious.

Boys, go over there and
break the bones of the bony one.

You'll have to come
through me first. And me too!

- And me too!
- And me too! Who the hell
do you think you are, man?

You overdressed termite.

I don't believe this. [Laughing]

Fellas, this is funny. I mean, don't
you recognize what we got here? Dig it.

- Here they are... the black Waltons.
- Wrong.

They're nice. We're mean.

Oh, yeah? Well, pretty
mama, we can be meaner.

Let's bust up this place
so I can collect my stuff.

Hold on, Sweet Daddy. I got a
bike that can get you at least $35.

Oh, yeah? Well, I can pay little
Johnny a dollar, and he'll steal it.

Hey, look here, Sweets.

I got some paintings that'll be
worth a lot when I'm dead. Oh!

[Chuckling] That's funny.

I got my all-American
ring. Solid gold.

I don't wanna hear no sad
story, man. How much is it worth?

About $20. Twenty dollars.

You must be crazy.
What's going on here now?

Ma?

Hey, what have we got here?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Let me see that.

Aha. Looks like an antique.
Might be worth somethin'.

I don't know what
it's worth to you,

but it's worth everything to me.

My mother gave me that locket,
and I've waited all these years...

to give it to my baby.

But if it makes you feel like
the big man you think you are,

you keep that locket
and give me my son.

[Sighs]

And take your hats off
in my house! Yes, ma'am.

Didn't you hear what the
woman said? Take off your hats.

Go over there and look at
the door and do something.

Uh, ma'am, I know this is
gonna sound kind of strange,

but, well, Sweet Daddy's mama...

used to wear a locket just like
that, and I really loved that woman...

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna settle for the thou.

But I got one thing
to say, and dig this.

If anybody ever
mentions one word to me...

that they heard about Sweet
Daddy showin' some kindness,

baby, I'm gonna come back
here and really raise hell!

You understand me?

Sweet Daddy?

- Bless you.
- Oh, God!

All right. Everything
looks good now.

[Chattering] Oh, Keith!

You all right,
man? I'm all right.

I gotta stay away from him.

Thank you, Jesus.

We're a family again.

♪ Keepin' your
head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪ Good Times was
videotaped before a studio audience.