Good Times (1974–1979): Season 6, Episode 19 - The Art Contest - full transcript

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪
♪ Anytime you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and survivin' ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow line ♪
♪ Good times ♪



♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

Students, come over here and
feast your eyeballs upon my painting.

When people see this painting,

Vincent van Gogh is gonna be
known as Vincent van "Went."

This painting is so immortal
not even I know what to say.

J.J., is this the painting
you're gonna submit...

to the district
art contest? Yep.

It's beautiful. I mean,

I could never paint that good.

I'm just wasting
my time. I quit.

So do I. Maybe I should
just go ahead and quit.

Hey, now take it
easy. Take it easy, y'all.

Y'all can't quit.



Not my best students.

We're your only students.

Let's face it, J.J. I'm
not getting anywhere.

Yeah. Me either, man. This
paintin' jive ain't gonna keep me alive.

Hold on. Hold on.

As the French would say,

au contraire and bullion base.

Now, you say you're
not getting anywhere.

I say, this girl can paint.

Leo, you say you want to quit.

I say, this girl can paint.

Hey, man. You know, this
art... this art jive ain't for me.

And besides, I thought we
was gonna be painting nude.

Hey, look here, Leo.

Anytime you want to take off
your clothes, you go right ahead.

But, Leo and Emily, don't
make any hasty decisions.

I mean, tomorrow y'all will feel
differently. Just wait and see.

Yeah, I know I will.

'Cause tomorrow
I'm joining the navy.

The navy? Hey, look here, man.

Haven't you heard what
they're making you do?

They make you paint
submarines under water...

from the outside.

Well, I'm better with a can of
spray paint than I am with a brush.

Hi, kids. Hi, Mrs. Evans.

Ma, you're here just in time...

to try and talk some
sense into this young man.

Come on over here. What
would you say to a young man...

that's got all this talent and wants
to throw it away by joining the navy?

♪ Anchors aweigh, my boy ♪

I heard that.

Hey, Leo, take it easy,
man. I'll give you a discount:

all you can paint for
a buck, 50. Oh, man.

I'll even clean
your paintbrushes.

If you want to paint in the
nude, I'll even clean your clothes.

Ah, Emily, my prize student.

I'm sorry, J.J. Maybe
Leo's got the right idea.

No, he doesn't. You
don't want to be a sailor.

Look here. You
got a lot of talent.

Ask anybody from
any walk of life.

Why, look what we
have here... a bus driver.

Now let's ask her.

Miss Bus Driver, come
on over here now. J.J.

Come on. Now, what
do you think of the talent...

of my last paying student?

Well, to tell you
the truth, Emily,

ever since you've
been coming over here,

I've been very much
impressed with your work.

You really have talent.

I mean, your sense of
color and your style...

It shows a natural ability.

Come on, Mrs. Evans.
You're exaggerating.

Oh, come on now.
Could a face like this lie?

Why, next to Ma,
Lincoln's known as...

"Occasionally Honest Abe."

Look, J.J., I haven't
got half your talent.

Well, this is true.

But, Emily, you
keep on working at it,

and one day you'll have your
paintings hanging in the Louvre...

right under mine, next to
those two famous brothers...

Michael and Angelo.

Oh, if I didn't know better,

I'd think J.J. painted this.

Now let's not go crazy.

Everybody knows
there's only one J.J.

I'll thank the Lord for that.

But seriously, sweetheart,
you do have talent,

and I'd hate to see you quit.

Thanks a lot, Mrs.
Evans. Uh, look, J.J.

I'll let you know what's goin' on
with the class next week, all right?

Okay, Emily.

Oh, come on now, Son.
Don't let it get you down.

Oh, no, it doesn't, Ma.

At times like this I think of the
famous words of General Custer:

"We can get out of this mess as
long as we follow them arrows."

Oh, you'll have other
students. I just know it.

Yeah, Ma, but that's
not what bothers me.

It's seeing you
navigate that bus.

Oh, I don't mind,
Son. I love my work.

Yeah, but then you have to
come home and work some more.

It pains me to watch
you work this hard.

Yeah, he's gonna stop watching.

Stay out of this, turtle face.

Matter of fact, who's gonna come
see me win the art contest tonight?

We will, brother-in-law.
All right then.

We stick together
in this family.

J.J., you know,

a couple of minutes you
were down in the dumps.

Now you're just
top-heavy with confidence.

Boy, I swear, you do more
swingin' back and forth...

than a fly on a horse's tail.

Well, unbelievers, I
want you to behold...

the latest J.J.
Evans masterpiece.

I hope y'all can handle
it, 'cause here it comes.

Oh, J.J., it's beautiful.

This is the best thing
you've ever done.

Hey, man, I don't
know what to say.

You can start off with
super-sensational and fantastic.

Well, it's super-sensational
and fantastic.

You really mean it? Ha-ha!

You have such a way with words.

You know, everybody knows
I'm the best painter in the ghetto.

Then how come you didn't
win last year, membrane nose?

The truth is, he didn't take enough
time with his painting last year.

Yeah, but this year, I'm working
on it all the way to the deadline.

Which happens to be
5:00. Well, good luck, Son.

But don't get your
hopes up too high.

You know, you just may not win.

Not win?

The chances of me not winning...

are the same chances Dolly Parton
has of sleeping on her stomach.

Well, since it's
such a sure-fire win,

how come you're not working
on your acceptance speech?

Dear Dudes and Dudettes...

and members of
the J.J. School of Art.

J.J., you can't say that.

It sounds like you're
doing a commercial.

Why not, Ma? When
I win the contest...

I'm gonna have students
coming left and right.

Hey, I got to get to
work. Later, y'all. Okay.

Well, I better get back
to my canvas here, Ma.

Got a lot of work to do.

Got to have a lot of
silence. Genius at work.

Got to get this
stroke exactly...

Hi, y'all!

- Exactly wrong.
- Something happen?

No, Willona. I just happen to be working on
the most significant painting of my life.

Oh, good. I thought I might be
interrupting something important.

You want a cup of coffee? No,
baby, I gotta get to the boutique.

We're having the sale of the year.
Everything is marked down 75%.

Seventy-five percent?
How will y'all make money?

We spent the whole day
marking everything up 80%.

For our regular customers,
we got some real good deals.

And I found the
dress for you. Mm-mm.

Mm-mmm, nope. Don't tempt me.

Remember that dress you loved in the window
that cost $200, with the lace sleeves?

- I can't afford it.
- Flo, it's $80 now.

And with my discount,
you can get it for $60.

It's still out of
my neighborhood.

Well, it's cut to make a
woman look 10 pounds thinner.

Uh! There goes the neighborhood.

- Ta-da! Finished.
- Ooh, this is bad. Who did this one?

That's Emily's work. Hmm.

J.J., don't you have to get
down to the district hall...

with your painting
for the contest?

Uh, no, Ma. I got
to wait for it to dry.

Anyway, Bookman promised to
take it down in his pickup truck.

- Bookman?
- Booger did that for you?

Honey, how much
did he charge you?

Nothing. I just walked up to
Bookman and said three little words:

- sweet potato pie.
- That's figures.

Hey, Bookman.

Just the man I wanted to see.

Look here, Bookman. Don't
forget to take that painting...

down to the district
hall today at 5:00.

It's on the easel
closest to the door.

On the easel closest
to the door, yeah.

Don't forget about
that sweet potato pie.

Don't worry about it. It's in the
refrigerator closest to the door.

Don't eat any of it until
you take the painting...

down to the district hall.

Mmm, sweet potato
pie. Oh, I can taste it now.

Oh! J.J.!

J.J., don't drop me!

I won't. I won't,
Bookman. Oh! Oh!

You sure you got me, J.J.?

If I don't, I'll be dead meat.

Oh, boy.

I can see the headlines now.

"Avalanche of Buns Kills
Promising Young Artist...

in Ham Hock Fall."

Uh! Oh! Oh, boy.

Oh, J.J., you got
me? Oh! Oh. Oh.

Oh! Boy, you saved my life, J.J.

Oh, yeah, Bookman. And the life
of the people 17 floors down too.

Look, Bookman.

Don't forget to take that painting
down to the district hall by 5:00.

Don't forget that painting.

Don't make me waste my
money. It's gonna be good.

You're gonna look
so bad, child. Oh!

Hey, Ms. Evans. I came
to pick up J.J.'s painting.

I know. I know. He told me.

Hi, Ms. Woods. Hi, fat face.

Bookman!

No pie until you
deliver the painting.

I was just checking to see if
you needed a new bulb in here.

I know.

Ahh.

Hello? J.J., where are you, man?

You're down at the corner at
the phone booth? Say what?

Oh, you were in a hurry and forgot
to sign your name on the painting.

No sweat. I'll just tell 'em that the
painting is being entered by J.J. Evans.

Yeah, I got it, man.

I'm gonna take
care of it right now.

Stop eating what pie?

Hey, man, I'll take care of it.

Hmm. People don't
trust nobody these days.

All right. Cut it out, Keith.

I know I didn't gain
that much weight.

- There you go.
- Smarty!

Ooh-whee!

Is this too much?

Not for me.

You know, if J.J. wins,

the whole family may be
called up to take a bow.

Thelma, that could be
a total disaster for you.

Correction. You won't even
be seen in the same room...

with that walking
fun house over there.

J.J., what in the world
is this you got on?

I think it's Liberace's
hand-me-downs.

That shows you how much
you philistines know about color.

My socks are white.
My suit is burgundy.

My shirt is green,

and I am a vision to be seen.

Yeah, you put them all together,
and they come out obscene.

You got some nerve.

A man who wouldn't know a
polyester if he stepped on one.

Ah-ooh! Oh, J.J.

Now, why can't you wear
clothes like everybody else, huh?

I hereby declare a moratorium...

on any more insults
about my clothing.

- I'll give you a moratorium.
- Hey, hey, I'm ready.

Hey, I didn't know it
was a costume party.

What made you decide
to go as a peacock?

Enough. Enough.

Ma, I got a feeling tonight
my ship is going to come in.

Hi, folks.

Looks like the whole
fleet just came in.

We better get moving
if we want to get seats.

He's right. We'd better
hurry. We got to get five seats.

Hey, you forgot to include me.

That means we're gonna
need at least 10 or 12 seats.

Oh, come on, Ms. Woods.

Oh, J.J., I sure dig your
brim, baby. That's bad.

Look at that. Ha! See? We
got the same tastes, you know?

Now, that hat is something else.

I'd like to have one, but I think
it's too conservative for me.

See that, Ma?
Bookman likes my outfit.

How you like it?

Well, uh, let's just say...

that when you win and
you go to accept your cup,

if they have a power failure,

we'll still see J.J.

But how do you
like the outfit, Ma?

See you in the
winner's circle. Oh, J.J.

Boy, what a great turnout.

Yeah. I'm so glad so
many people came.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Look who's coming.
Alderman Davis.

The world's biggest turnoff.

Well, if it isn't my
favorite project family...

and their lovely
neighbor "Pomona."

Listen, billiard head.

This judging better be on
the up-and-up. You hear me?

The name of the
Alderman Davis...

has always been associated
with double honesty,

double integrity...

And double dealing.
And double deal...

No! Now, that's
not right, "Travona."

I'm proud of my record.

And the taxpayers
are gonna see...

that it's not a
long-playing record.

Now, Flo, you see,

I was just about to invite
you and your family...

and "Verona" over to my house...

for, uh, one of my
outdoor barbecues.

But if you insist
on talking like that,

then it just might be
necessary for me to invite...

some other nice lady whose
lease is also coming up next month.

Aw, topless.

You have always known how
to fight fair, but you never do.

Well, I see they're ready
for me on the podium.

So, uh, I'll say farewell now...

to the wonderful Evanses.

And to you too, dear "Collona."

Willona, take it easy. Matter of
fact, why don't you hand out...

a few of these cards while
you're around here? Cards?

Yeah. "For the finest
lessons under the heavens,

you can't go wrong
with J.J. Evans."

I'm not passing these
cards out, honey.

J.J., that's no way to
advertise your business.

Yeah, Ma. I guess
you're right. I'm sorry.

Right. Be subtle.

Boy, put your jacket back on.

I guess I'll go mingle with the
people so they can see their winner.

Hello there. Yeah, you're
lookin' at the winner.

How you doing? Nice to see you.

It's a wonderful place.

Excuse me, mademoiselle.

I could tell by the
back of your head...

that you have a fantastic
amount of artistic talent.

What do you say... Oh, Emily.

J.J., what is this
you're handing me?

Just his usual jive, Emily.

Hey, hey, hey, gang, look.
The big breeze is about to blow.

Let's sit down. Oh.
Okay. Okay, okay.

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

I am your alderman,
Fred C. Davis.

And I thank you for
your generous ovation.

Now if you'll just,
uh, settle back down,

uh, we'll get on with it.

Friends and neighbors,

as I look out upon
this wonderful sea...

of upturned votes...
I mean, faces...

I bid you welcome...

to the Second Annual
District Art Contest.

Now, perhaps you
would like to know...

some of the background behind,

uh, the organization of the...

No! No, no, no!

Of course, on the other hand,

may perhaps you might not.

So, we'll just, uh, settle
right down to the nitty-gritty...

and announce the prizes.

Now before I
announce the first prize,

the runner-up is...

Belinda Robbins, for her
oil painting, Study in Lust.

All right.

Study in Lust?

She must be painting
that by memory.

J.J., stop it.

Well, whatever's goin' on,

it must be goin' on
behind that red stripe.

Oh, excuse me, mother,
there must be some mistake.

Don't you "mother" me.

You just give me my plaque,

you dirty old man, you!

I should've won first prize.

Ooh. Oh, you ol'
bald-headed sucker.

And now the moment that
we've all been waiting for...

The silver cup award for
the finest amateur painting...

in our fair district.

Amateur? You mean
professional, brother. Shh, J.J.

Now, perhaps you might like to
know how I became involved in...

Oh, no! Will you get
on with it, billiard head?

On the other hand,
perhaps you might not.

First prize, for his
untitled oil painting,

James Evans Jr.

Yea, J.J.! Congratulations!

Yeah, J.J. All right!

See, Ma, I told you,
dreams do come true.

I'm so surprised.

I had not even
planned on winning.

I had no idea that this
was going to happen.

I just can't believe it myself.
This is totally amazing.

That's not J.J.'s
painting. That's Emily's.

Would you like to
say a few words, J.J.?

Well, uh, I hadn't planned
on anything, but, uh...

You know, uh...

"Dear patrons of the
arts and future students,

to quote my old
buddy Pablo Picasso"...

Known in trade as
Petey... "who once said,

'I don't care if people don't look like
that. I'm gonna paint 'em anyway.'"

Or as my one-eared colleague
Vinnie van Gogh once said,

"Would you mind
speaking up, friend."

J.J., behind you.

Yeah, Ma, the toughest
days are behind me.

Uh.

I've, uh...

I've worked very hard on this
painting for the last three weeks,

and been working
on it day and night.

And, uh, er... uh, I'd like
to say that, er, uh... uh...

Uh, I'd like to say that, uh...

Uh, this is not my painting.

Uh, this belongs to a young
lady sitting in the front row,

Miss Emily Gibbs.

Uh, Emily, come up
and receive your cup.

Oh, my goodness. I don't
even know what to say.

I don't even know how my
painting got entered. I mean...

Thank you, Mom and Dad.

And thank everybody for
just being here, you know?

J.J., are you all right? Why?

Well, I seem to
remember you a little taller.

Oh. It's just that I thought
I'd win the art contest, Ma,

and have a flock of students
and bring in a lot of money.

Sorry I disappointed you.

Disappointed me?

A son who is a gifted artist?

Who can accept defeat
and give others credit?

Who is a great teacher,

and whose student
won first prize?

Go on.

But the one thing
I can't figure out is,

what happened to your painting?

I don't know, Ma.

Bookman must've
delivered the wrong painting.

Impossible. I delivered
the right painting.

I remember every
detail. You said, "Take

the painting off the
easel and put it down."

Then I smelled the sweet potato pie. I went
to the refrigerator and opened the door.

Then the phone rang. That was you. You
told me to take the painting off the easel.

That's exactly what I did. I
brought the wrong painting.

I was just trying to do a favor.
I ain't Vincent van "Gock."

I was doing it on my day
off. Trying to do y'all a favor.

Delivered the
wrong painting. Aah!

J.J., isn't there anything we
can do to protest the decision?

Oh, no, Ma. I mean,
Emily won fair and square.

Oh, Son.

I'm even more proud of you.

There he is. That's
my teacher, J.J. Evans.

Oh, what's happening?

Class cards. Y'all want to
be a member of the art class?

Well, wait a minute. Let me
get my cards out. Hold on.

Y'all want to sign up? I'm
really cleanin' up here, Ma.

It's unbelievable! Here you go.

Well, Son. You were
wrong about that dream.

This one came true.

Yeah, but it sure took the
scenic route to get here.

♪ Keepin' your
head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪ Good Times was
videotaped before a studio audience.