Good Times (1974–1979): Season 6, Episode 13 - House Hunting - full transcript

Florida tells the family they are ready to move into their own house. After they find the house, they have trouble finding a loan.

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪
♪ Anytime you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and survivin' ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow line ♪
♪ Good times ♪



♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

No, Willona. Mama and J.J. are
not back from house hunting yet.

They should be back soon,
all right? Talk to you later.

Hey, Michael, wouldn't it be great if
we could live in this house right here?

It has five bathrooms... Two
upstairs, two in the back...

and one little one
in the entryway.

I guess they have that one just in case
you can't make it to the other four, huh?

Hey, Thelma, why are you jivin' yourself
looking at those rich people's houses?

- Well, I can dream, can't I?
- How could the Evanses afford
a million-dollar house?

Well, we could start out
by buying day-old bread.

Well, frankly, I'll live anyplace
that has two bathrooms.

- Yeah, but knowin' J.J., he'll
probably buy a gas station.
- Hi, kids.

Hi, Ma. Hey, J.J.



Ooh. We found a place.

- Yeah, it's got two bathrooms.
- Yeah? Gulf or Texaco?

Ma, you found a house? Yeah.

What's it like? Is it pretty? Has a porch
and a backyard... Wait a minute. Hold on!

At least give me a
chance to sit down.

[Laughing] Tell us. Tell us.

- Now, the house
needs some work.
- How much work?

Just a little work, like,
uh, carpets, drapes,

paint, walls.

- Walls?
- Oh, J.J., it's not that bad.

A few of the walls
do need plastering.

Nothin' that a batch of
Thelma's oatmeal couldn't fix.

Ma, where's the house?

Hmm, well, it's at,
uh, 63rd and Wilson.

Not exactly one of
your high-rent districts.

No. Matter of fact,
neighborhood's so tough,

the Welcome Wagon is a tank.

J.J., it can't be any
rougher than it is livin' here.

- Ma, when can we see it?
- Well, you can see
part of it right now.

J.J., where did you
get that doorknob?

Well, I went to pull the door
open and the knob came off,

then the door fell off.

- J.J., who's livin'
in the house now?
- Jacqueline Onassis,

only she can't afford
to make the payments.

It's been vacant
for three months.

Except for the rats, but they
doin' a great job with the place.

J.J., instead of puttin' the
place down for what it is now,

why can't you see it for what it
could be... what we can make of it?

I guess you're right, Ma. I was so
busy tryin' not to build up our hopes, I...

I guess I was tearin'
down our dreams.

You know, it's really
not a bad $15,000 house.

And we gettin' it for
a real steal for 25.

That's a steal?

Well, now, honey, in this
crazy, inflated housing market,

homes are selling for two and
three times what they're worth.

Hmm. But I still can't
believe it. Our very own home.

Well, now, Thelma,
let's not get carried away.

You know, a house is
like the harvest moon.

It looks so close you
can almost touch it,

but it's really a
million miles away.

- We still got to get that loan.
- You know, Ma,
that's not gonna be easy,

especially with this
redlining business.

Michael, what's redlining?

That's when white bankers draw
red lines around black areas...

and don't give up no green.

Well, Michael, there is more
than one way to skin a cat.

You know, to qualify
for that F.H.A. loan...

we only have to come up
with three percent down.

Hey, three percent of
$25,000... That's $750.

Boy, I tell ya. If this cat ever
blows a fuse, we in deep trouble.

It shouldn't be hard to raise the down
payment, because we've all been workin'.

I've been doing very well driving
the school bus. I have saved $250.

Yeah? Well, I saved $50 from my
box-boy job down at the supermarket.

Yeah, and Keith's
doing well drivin' the cab.

And me workin' at the boutique...
You know, Ma, we've saved $350.

Oh, honey, that's
wonderful. [Giggles]

Hey, look. Ma, your $250, plus my
$50 added to Keith and Thelma's $350...

That give us $650.

All we need is a hundred
dollars more. Yeah.

Uh...

All right, J.J. Where's yours?

Hmm?

I said, what about you?
You've been painting

signs for that department
store downtown.

Oh, yeah, Ma. I did
paint 25 "fire sale" signs.

All right, J.J. Where's the
money? Well, I never got paid.

I made the mistake of puttin' up
the signs two days before the fire.

I know you better than
that. You got some extra

cash stashed away
somewhere. Now give it up.

[Loud Chattering]

Take it easy. Take it
easy now. Come on, J.J.

I want everybody to turn
their backs, close your eyes.

[Michael] What?
No peeking allowed.

[Michael] Stop kiddin' around.
Turn your backs, now. Come on.

All right then.

All right, Michael.
Here you go. My entire

life savings donated to
the Evans house fund.

Three dollars?

Brother J., you will be
sleepin' on the porch.

J.J., what happened
to all your money?

Well, Ma, I had a big date with Heavy-duty
Hannah, and I needed somethin' special...

Somethin' that would make a real impression
of my masculinity, but somethin' subtle.

So I knew when I saw this
jumpsuit that this had to be me.

Lord, have mercy.

J.J., where did you get
that... At Tarzan's garage sale?

A hundred and 10 dollars?

J.J., you spent $110
on this "junksuit"?

Brother J.J., I don't believe that,
man. We need the money for the house.

You better take this back
before it bites somebody.

Help!

Now... Now wait one
minute. What is this?

Hey, Willona, take it easy.

This happens to be our down
payment on our new house.

House? Flo?

Flo... Flo, you found
a house? Mm-hmm.

[Laughing, Crying]

I'm happy for
you, Flo. [Sobbing]

Flo, I'm gonna miss you so much.
Oh, girl, I'm gonna miss you too.

Oh, okay. Now look.
Tell me about the house.

[Sighing] Willona, it's just
what I always dreamed of.

It's got a private backyard where I
can grow my own fresh vegetables.

And then a big kitchen
where Thelma can cook 'em.

Yeah, and a big garbage
disposal where I can get rid of 'em.

Well, well, well. So the
Evans family is buying a house.

Bookman, how did you know that?

Nothing gets past these ears.

Nothin' gets past that
stomach either, Buffalo Butt.

- So where is this house?
- 63rd and Wilson.

Mm-hmm. And knowin' that neighborhood,
that house is gonna need a lotta work.

- Just like the projects, huh?
- When things break, there ain't
gonna be nobody to fix it.

Just like the projects.

That's not true. Just last week I put a
brand-new lightbulb in your refrigerator.

Oh, now come on, Bookman.

You know, if you hadn't been stickin'
your big head in there all the time,

we wouldn't need
no new lightbulb.

You know what I'm gonna miss
about you, J.J.? No, what, Bookman?

Nothing. Tell you what.

If you like, I'll go over
there and inspect the house.

I'll check out the wiring,
the furnace, the foundation.

- You'll do that for us?
- Hey, what are friends for?

Oh, Bookman, you're full of
surprises. That is really sweet of you.

- And since you're friends, I'll
only charge you $10 an hour.
- Out.

Five. Out! Out!

A sandwich or somethin'?
Out before we roll your fat... Out.

Ain't he somethin'? Ah,
well, I gotta be goin' too.

But look. Congratulations
and keep me posted, okay?

Oh, Flo! I'm so happy for you.

You know what? I've always
wanted a house of my own...

and garden of my own
and a man of my own, hmm.

I could do without the
garden, you know that?

See you all later,
okay? [J.J.] Bye, Willona.

Bye, Willona. Bye-bye.

I'm gonna miss that girl. Not half
as much as I'm gonna miss you.

All right, Ma? What's the
next step on our new house?

Well, first thing tomorrow,
we've gotta put down a deposit.

And then we gotta
apply for a loan.

But remember, everybody.

The payments are gonna be
high, and it's gonna be a struggle.

But with all of us pullin'
together, we can make it work.

Don't worry, Ma. It's gonna be a pleasure
to struggle for somethin' all our own.

- That's right.
- [Florida] Oh, Keith.

Tell him.

Keith? Keith, guess what. Ma and J.J.
went out today, and they found a house.

We are really buying a house!

That's great. And all this
time I thought it was just talk.

I didn't think we could do it either,
but we finally found one we could afford.

[Giggles] Yeah, and
we're all chipping in.

Ma is using all of
her savings, and so is

Michael and J.J., and
we're throwing in ours too.

Throwin' in ours? Hold it. What do
you mean, we're throwin' in our savings?

Yeah, we need it for the down payment.
Otherwise, we can't get the house.

Then I guess you can't
get the house, 'cause

there's no way we're
partin' with our savings.

I can't believe you said that. I
already told Ma we're gonna chip in.

Well, maybe you
should've asked me first.

Well, maybe I should've, but I
thought I knew you better than that.

Hey, Keith. I mean, what is it, man?
Are you part of this family or what?

All right, Michael.
Thelma. [Sighs]

I'm sure Keith has his reasons. So y'all
just back off and let him have his say.

Thanks, Ma. I hope
I don't sound selfish.

No, you don't sound selfish.
You sound more like a leech.

Hey, look. I want Thelma and I to have
a place of our own one of these days.

That's why we're
saving. Keith, we will.

But going in with
the family right now is

just temporary. As
temporary as Lake Michigan.

After the down payment you got the
taxes, the insurance, the mortgage.

We'd never have anything
to set aside for our future.

I understand, Keith, if
that's what you want.

Maybe you're right, Keith.

We could be livin' with the
family for years and years, but...

No, you don't, Thelma!

J.J., please.

You know, Keith, man, I
guess we weren't thinkin'...

- countin' you in
without even asking you.
- [Thelma] Mm-hmm.

You know, Keith, when I look at you
and Thelma, I see me and James...

Just starting out,
all full of hopes.

I only wish I had the money. I'd
buy you two that house tomorrow.

- You would.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, hey, what's the matter? Aren't
I a part of this family? Count me in.

Say what?

I said, count me in.

See, in my family, it
was always everyone out

for themselves. Nobody
gave anything to anybody.

I guess I'm not used to a family
that gives like this one does.

That's the only way we can live.

That's why we
ain't got nothin' now.

Well, you got one thing,
and that's love. [Florida] Right.

And I am a part of this family. So if you
need our money for that house, you got it.

Thelma, we got plenty of
time for our dream. Oh, Keith.

All right, kids. I want
you on your best

behavior. We want to
make a good impression.

What you doin', fool?

Thelma, the hidden
camera's up there.

I wanna make sure they get a good
shot of me just in case there's a holdup.

J.J., with that face, you're
liable to set off the alarm.

You got some nerve, with your
old coyote face. Just shut up!

Get outta here, you old pumpkin
head. All right, you two. Stop it!

People are beginning to stare
at us. Hey, what's happenin'?

Excuse me. We need
to apply for a loan.

Yeah, Winfield. Uh-huh.

Those executive desk exercises you showed
me are great for gettin' rid of tension.

Yeah. Oh, I do 'em every
chance I can get. Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah. Right. Uh,
about the loan. Now, um,

we can only authorize 6.5
million for that apartment complex.

Uh-huh. Good, good. Then I'll
put it through right away. Fine.

Mm-hmm. Give my
love to Bambi. Bye.

- Now, what can I do
for you people?
- Six million dollars?

I think we're in the wrong place.
We only want a small housing loan.

Oh, no, no, no. No. This bank gives
the same consideration to the little man...

as we do to the
big corporations.

Well, then in that case, we'll
take 10 mil in small bill. J.J.

Will you please take a seat?

Oh, uh, just sit down, hmm?

Now, who's
applying for the loan?

Well, actually,
it's a joint venture.

Aha. All right. Then, uh, who
is the head of the household?

Er, uh... uh, she is.

I'm Mrs. Evans,
and this is my family.

And here's the information we
got from the real estate agent.

Uh-huh. Well, let's
have a look at this then.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Hmm!

You know, I'd really
like to give you the loan.

I can see you're really
wrestlin' with yourself.

Oh, uh, don't mind me. I'm just
getting rid of tension. [Chuckles]

I hope you can get rid of
some cash just as easy.

Now, I see that the house is in the
one of the more lived-in areas, hmm?

Yeah, the newest
house there is a cave.

However, you seem to
have made a very good buy.

- Does that mean
we get the loan?
- [Strains]

Is that... [Strains] yes...

or... [Strains] no?

It's... [Strains] I
think I hurt myself.

- What about the loan, man?
- Well, I'm afraid we can't.

- Why not?
- What I mean is that, uh,

this is a little too risky
for the bank to handle,

so I think that we should
go through the F.H.A.

Now, uh, that would be
$25,000 at three percent.

- That'd give you $750.
- That would give me 750...

We got our own model right here.

All right. Now, the, uh, loan
procedure is really very simple.

That's not that hard.
J.J., will you stop it!

Now, first we'll have to verify your
credit. So how about a list of creditors?

We don't have any.

If we can't pay
cash, we do without.

Shh-shh-shh! What
are you saying?

That could ruin the
entire American economy.

I mean, where would this country be if we
didn't all owe more than we could pay back?

No need to fret, no need to frown.
Brother J. owes money all over town.

Um, I owe 15 big ones to Larry,

and 35 big ones
to Fist-face McGee.

- Well, I'm afraid
those don't count.
- Tell them that.

Ah, yes. Well, Mrs.
Evans, maybe we can

pass this loan on your
record of employment.

Um, how long have
you held a full-time job?

Well, we all work part-time.
I work 25 hours per week.

I work 20 hours a
week. And I work 15.

I work 12. I toil approximately
16 hours a week.

All added together
that's 88 hours a week.

And that's more hours than
Johnny Carson works in a whole year.

- Well?
- [Sighs]

- I hope you're
just exercisin', man.
- No.

No, I really would
like to help you folks,

but the F.H.A. regulations do
require full-time employment.

Well, I'm sorry. I
don't make the rules.

But you do interpret the rules.

Now full-time employment is
defined as 40 hours a week.

Between us we have
twice that amount.

I don't recall a rule that
covers this particular situation.

Oh, boy, I'm
beginning to feel stress.

And since there is no rule, that
means that you have the power.

Well, one could say
that, couldn't one?

Well, here's five
of us sayin' it now.

Let's make that six. I'm gonna
pass this loan as fast as I can.

All right! Yeah!

- What kind of tension
does that release?
- Racial.

J.J., what kind of
wine did you get?

Well, when Mr. Rutherford called and told
us we had the loan, I spared no expense.

Look at this. "Château Bonaduce,

from the sunny 'slops' of the
Bonaduce Brothers' estate."

J.J., Brother, don't
you mean the "slopes"?

No, it's "slops," Michael. They
own a pig farm. [Florida] Oh, J.J.!

Hey, is this party on the
road? [Florida] Oh, Willona!

Oh, I'm so glad you came.

Aunt Florida, we got a
present for your new house.

Oh. Oh, thank you, Penny.

Isn't that a beautiful
welcome mat?

I guess you know, you
two will always be welcome.

We're gonna miss
you all so much.

Oh, Penny, I'm
gonna miss you too.

And, Willona? Hmm?

What am I gonna do
for some hot gossip?

Yeah, and who
am I gonna tell it to?

No need to worry, 'cause
when Willona Woods talks,

everyone listens.

- All right.
- Well, look who's here...

The poster boy for
"Save the Whales."

Is that any way to talk
to the man who's gonna

get you a great deal on
wall-to-wall carpeting?

Ah, Bookman, we know
about your great deals.

No, this is legit. Now, what
are the square feet of the house?

We don't know. Why don't you
come down and stand next to it...

so we have somethin'
to compare it to?

Now, y'all stop
pickin' on Bookman.

That's all right, Mrs.
Evans. Let 'em insult

me. That's the only
way I know they love me.

Yeah, Bookman, and when
you come over to visit us,

we'll just tell our neighbors
you're our pet water buffalo.

I think that's enough
love for today.

[Knocking] Come on,
Bookman. [Laughs]

Oh, come on in, Mr. Rutherford.
Join the celebration.

Ah, Mr. Rutherford. Hey, everybody,
let's have a big toast for Mr. Rutherford,

who paved the way for us to
get the loan from the F.H.A.

- [Willona] Mr. Rutherford! Hallelujah!
- No. No, uh, please. Please.

- Uh, Mrs. Evans...
- Oh, call me Florida.

Well, I can imagine what you're
gonna call me when I tell you the news.

Uh-oh. I thought you said
the loan was approved.

Well, the loan was approved,
but... the house is unavailable.

I don't know how your
real estate agent slipped up,

but you see, that area has been
scheduled for urban renewal.

Some developers are gonna
construct a shopping mall there...

to try to lure the suburban
middle class back to the inner city.

Well, if you tear
down our houses,

where are we urban lower
class supposed to live?

I'm afraid nobody's
solved that problem yet.

I can't tell you how
badly I feel about this.

Flo, honey, I'm sorry.
[Quietly] That's all right.

I am too, Mrs. Evans.

[Sobbing]

Michael, it's all right.
Don't cry. I'm not cryin', Ma.

[Wailing]

Oh, my Lord.

I just feel so
disappointed for you!

You did the best you
could. We all know that.

I know, but i-it's...
It's just not fair.

You're such fine people. You get one
step ahead, and they push you back two.

Look, Mr. Rutherford. This family
has faced disappointments before,

and we always come through.

Yes, but you deserve
a better house than this.

It's not the kind of roof
we have over our heads.

It's the family under
the roof that counts.

You're all so... so brave.

[Sobbing]

Mr. Rutherford, you gotta find
yourself another line of work.

[Whimpering] Look, everybody.

Turn on the music. Now,
we may not have a party,

but we could still have a good
old-fashioned wake! [Shouting]

♪♪ [Funk On Stereo] [Chattering]

Come on, Mr. Rutherford.
Come on! Oh, come on.

[J.J.] Get into it,
Mr. Rutherford.

♪ Keepin' your
head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪ Good Times was
videotaped before a studio audience.