Good Times (1974–1979): Season 5, Episode 21 - Something Old, Something New - full transcript
The Evan's grandfather visits and announces that he is postponing his marriage. His fiancé is not happy.
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You need a friend ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪
Forty seconds left in the game,
and Chicago trails by a basket.
J.J., will you get up
and help me clean this house
before Grampa and Lena get here?
Later, Thelma, later!
Hey, Thelma, turn
that set back on
or else I'm gonna slam dunk
that melon head of yours!
Oh, look, J.J.
The knob came off.
Thelma, you put that back on.
Otherwise, the knob on
your head is gonna come off.
Put your neck in there.
Just put your neck in there.
It's gonna come out like
a long piece of licorice.
Oh, here.
Hi, y'all.
Oh, Mr. Miguel,
how was the movie?
It was good, man.
We went to see Close
Encounters of the Third Kind.
Did Cindy call me?
Yep, and she is
very upset with you.
Aw, again?
I wonder what I did this time.
In the movie, this little boy
was on his way to school
when this big UFO swoops down
and carries him away.
Oh, yeah?
I've heard of bussing
kids, but never in a UFO.
Hi, Cindy?
What?
No, I did not go to the
movies with another girl.
That was only Penny.
"Only"?
Cindy, she's not my girl.
She's just a kid.
She can't be more
than 9 or 10. Wha...?
If you don't believe me, why
don't you ask her yourself.
I'll let you talk to her,
okay? Hold on a sec.
Penny, will you
tell her, please?
Cindy, darling...
This is Penny Woods.
Michael's mentioned you to me.
Your name came up when
he took me ice skating.
And he mentioned you
when we went to the movies,
and he pointed you out
when we went to the zoo.
Cindy... Cindy?
She hung up, Penny.
What'd you do that for?
I'm not 9 or 10.
I'm 10 and a half, going on 11.
Hmm, well, I gotta
go straighten this out.
Hi, Gramps. Hi, Willona.
Sure is nice talkin' to you.
How was the movie?
It was great, Mama.
You owe Michael $4.50.
Four dollars and 50 cents?
Did you see a movie or make it?
Hey, Willona.
Grampa and Lena
are on their way over
from the bus station.
You know, that dude's
got more going for him
than half the dudes
I know half his age.
Yeah, and he keeps
his girlfriend, Lena,
lookin' young too.
But isn't Lena your grandmother?
Oh, not exactly...
No, no, they're just
very good friends.
Oh, one of those
modern arrangements.
Like Barbra Streisand
and Jon Peters.
Oh, well, let's go home, Penny,
get the surprise we baked
last night for Grampa.
Mama, you're gonna
be surprised too.
Why? One of the
pieces is missing.
Correction. Two of
the pieces are missing.
J.J., Grampa and Lena
are gonna be staying
in your room, okay?
You mean me and Michael
have to sleep on the couch?
Well, you're used to it.
What's wrong with your
room, aardvark nose?
Did you make up with Cindy?
Thelma, I made up with her,
but she didn't make up with me.
Michael, if you wanna get along
with females of
the opposite sex,
you gotta go
by the J.J. Evans
code of romance.
First, you have to tease them
and please them.
Then when they
get nice and ready,
you have to seize
them and squeeze them.
Grampa Evans!
Hey, Michael!
Wahoo! Yeah.
Let me look at you. I
hardly recognize you.
Hey, come and give
your granddaddy a kiss.
Mwah!
Brown sugar.
Ooh!
Don't tell me
this handsome dude is Michael.
Well, you know. What can I say?
Hey, J.J.
Your mama wrote me
that you are now a big
advertising executive.
Well, I guess she's right.
I'm the only one there
allowed to squeeze the Charmin.
I guess you all are wonderin'
why we chose to
come back to Chicago.
Well, it is a surprise.
Well, you see this little box?
Uh-huh.
It's gonna get us
all out of the ghetto.
Oh, yeah? What is it, a bomb?
It's his invention.
Your grampa's been
working on it for years.
Grampa, what is it?
Well, you know, all
those years I spent at sea
working in the
galley wasn't wasted.
Thelma, I invented
this little machine
that's gonna
revolutionize the kitchen.
Oh, yeah? What's it gonna
do? Make Thelma disappear?
I'll explain all that
to you tomorrow
after I meet with
the manufacturers.
You know, we've
been corresponding,
and they are anxious to see it.
Ooh, Henry's gonna be so rich,
I'm gonna have my
monogram on all my underwear.
"L.E." for Lena Evans.
Lena Evans!
Grampa, you didn't tell us.
What? That Lena's gonna
have her initials on her drawers?
No, that you're married.
Well, we are not,
and you know we
are living together.
That way we each get
a social security check.
If we get married,
we're gonna lose part of it.
Yes, but, Henry, you always said
if you ever came
into a lot of money,
we'd get married.
Yes, yes, I know that, Lena,
but right now I've got
a lot of other
things on my mind.
You're going back on your word?
Not now, Lena.
We'll talk about it
when we get home.
No, we'll talk about it now.
Sit down, Lena.
We'll talk about
it another time.
Um, let's go put the
bags away, okay?
All right.
Hey, whoa, whoa.
What room are we sleeping in?
J.J.'s. Thelma's.
Wait.
We ain't sleeping
in no different rooms.
Oh, yes, we are, Mr. Evans.
You're sleeping here,
and I'm sleeping at a motel.
Oh, Grampa, stop her!
Don't worry, she
isn't going anywhere.
Unless she's selling suitcases,
she's going somewhere.
You'll regret this, Henry Evans.
I gave you the
best years of my life.
Now, now, wait a minute, Lena.
We've just known
each other for four years.
Well, I was a late bloomer.
Grampa, you're
going to let Lena go?
No, no, no, no, no. No.
Hold it, hold it.
There's a time to laugh,
and there's a time to cry,
and there's a time to
go after your woman,
and right now isn't the time.
Oh, Grampa.
Well, I'll take the
luggage into your room.
Lena, wait a minute.
Grampa didn't mean what he said.
Then why didn't
he come after me?
Because he's being stubborn.
You know men.
They act like children.
Oh, don't I know it.
Whether they're 9 or
90, they all want a mother,
and I'm not about
to burp that man.
It don't make no
difference how old they are,
they all are
looking for a father,
and I ain't about to bounce
that woman on my knee.
I know just what
you mean, Grampa.
You do?
You living with an old woman?
Not exactly, Grampa.
I mean Cindy's only 16,
but she's just as jealous
as a 65-year-old woman,
and unreasonable.
I mean, I had the hardest...
Yeah, well, Lena's
unreasonable too.
Now, we've been living
together for four years,
and she still wants to
know if I'm serious. Serious?
Cindy or Lena.
They're all alike.
They just don't
think like a man.
Good thing they
don't look like a man.
Amen. Amen.
But you do love
Grampa, don't you?
Of course I love him.
I tell him that every day.
But right now I wouldn't
go back to that man
if he were the Mayor of Motown.
You know, Michael,
I wouldn't go after that woman
if she was Nefertiti
and owned an oil well.
You know what, Michael?
When I sell that invention,
I'm gonna see that
you go to law school
right on up to the
Supreme Court.
Chief Justice Michael Evans.
And don't forget the poor
man when you get there.
I won't forget, Grampa.
Yeah.
And, Thelma,
you are going to wear
the most beautiful fur coat
on Lakeshore Drive.
A mink coat with a sable lining.
And J.J., I'm gonna
buy you the longest
and the biggest Rolls
Royce that you ever seen.
Wow.
I can see the license plate now.
The front will have Michigan,
and the back will have Illinois.
Henry, you old sea dog.
Willona. Oh!
You get prettier every
time I come to Chicago.
Why, if I was just
10 years younger
and you was 10 years older...
You still couldn't
catch me, honey.
I'd still be too fast for you.
Where's Lena?
We had a little hassle.
And it's breaking
your heart, huh?
Yeah, it's no sweat.
She'll be back.
The first telephone booth,
she's gonna be calling me.
You'll see.
Okay. Henry, look.
This is for you, Grampa Evans.
Aw, thank you.
Now, who is this little darling?
This little darling
is my adopted daughter, Penny.
Aw, well, look at
those dancin' eyes.
I haven't seen
anything this beautiful
since I captured that mermaid
down on the coast of Bermuda.
Henry.
A real mermaid? Yeah!
What happened to her?
She became a model
for the tuna fish company.
Oh!
Whoo-hoo!
Chello.
Oh, hi, Lena.
What'd I tell you?
Yeah, Gramps is here.
Okay. Uh... Oh.
Okay.
I'll tell him.
Bye.
Well?
Uh, yeah, uh, Gramps,
Lena left a message for you.
Yeah? When's she comin' back?
She's going to New
Orleans tomorrow.
She's not coming back.
You know, J.J.,
I really feel awful about
Lena leaving Grampa.
Yeah, don't worry, Thelma.
He'll snap back.
That's more than I can
say for these pancakes.
Girl, what'd you make
these things out of,
Silly Putty?
Did Cynthia call?
No, and Lena didn't either.
Ah, don't worry about it.
As soon as Grampa
sells that invention of his,
he'll be able to buy
him a harem of Lenas.
Come on, J.J.,
where's your sensitivity?
They had a real love affair.
You know, there's some
things money can't buy.
Michael, obviously
you don't understand
the final workaries
of big business.
You see,
you should see the foxes that
throw themselves at my feet
just for a Big Mac and fries.
Yes, I have seen your foxes,
and they all look like the
golden arches fell on 'em.
Ooh, look, here comes Grampa,
and don't mention Lena.
All right.
Hey, Grampa, would
you like some breakfast?
Yeah, how 'bout
some Lena and eggs...
I mean, uh, some bacon and eggs?
I would like to, but I don't want
to be late for my appointment
with the kitchen
equipment people.
Did I get any calls?
No, Grampa, Lena didn't call...
Cindy didn't call.
Well, why would
Cindy be calling me?
Lena! Well, Grampa,
look who's here.
Good morning, J.J.
Oh, Lena!
Mr. Evans.
My jogging suit
is in your suitcase.
Oh, now wait a minute, Lena.
We ought to have a little talk.
I'm here for my
jogging suit, Henry.
Oh, now, lighten up, Lena.
You know why you're here.
You don't understand
women, Henry.
Especially me.
You had a good thing going,
but you blew it.
Well, like, Lena... Lena, now,
give me a little chance to explain.
You had your chance.
Oh, now, Lena,
Lena, we've got a
whole lot to talk about.
Our future.
Um, J.J... Michael.
What's come over you, Lena?
It's not me, Henry. It's you.
You've changed.
You used to make
me feel important
and attractive.
But now you make me feel like
some kind of
gray-haired Barbie doll.
Now, how can you say that?
It's true, Henry.
You take me for granted.
"When is dinner, Lena?"
"Sit down, Lena."
"Stand up, Lena."
When was the last time
you said you loved me?
Well, the last time I told
you to stand up, Lena?
A woman wants to be told
she's loved and wanted.
All right. Okay.
Okay.
I love you, you little
grey-haired Barbie doll.
And we are getting
married... mwah.
Today.
No.
No?
I don't want to be told
we're getting married.
I want to be asked.
Real nice.
Well, would you like for me
to get down on one knee?
Oh, no, no, you may not
be able to get back up.
Will you marry me, sweetheart?
Oh, yes, Tiger.
Hey, Michael, Thelma,
J.J., guess what?
Yay!
Congratulations.
Oh, Thelma, I'd like you
to be my Maid of Honor.
Around here, we'd just
like her to be the maid.
J.J., you can give
the bride away.
Why, certainly.
Michael.
Yeah?
You be the best man.
I wish my old lady
would tell me that.
And, J.J., you'll handle
all the arrangements.
And, honey, come on,
we've got to go get
us a wedding ring
and a marriage license.
Here, Henry.
What's that?
That's the wedding ring.
Uh, yeah.
When'd you get that?
The day after I met you.
Well, where's the reverend?
The marriage is gonna
take place in a little while.
Well, where is he?
What? He's at a funeral?
Well, tell him when
he gets over here,
don't have no mud on his shoes.
J.J., how do you like
the Maid of Honor?
You look great,
Thelma, just great,
except you got a tree
growing out of your head.
Ah... yes. Of course.
Hey, I heard there's gonna
be a wedding around here.
Was it an accident
I wasn't invited?
No, Bookman, it was on purpose.
Hey, what's that
funny-looking stuff over here?
Hey, Bookman, don't
mess with that, now.
That's caviar. It
costs $15 an ounce.
We bought a nickel's worth.
Fifteen dollars?
They sure put one over on you.
The caviar got
away and all it left
was these little black things.
Bookman, if they ever
gave a prize for stupidity,
you'd probably eat it.
Well, look, is there
anything I can do?
Maybe you need a musician,
a bartender, a photographer?
Photographer?
Hold on, Bookman,
you're a photographer?
Am I a photographer? Haven't
you seen my dark room?
Bookman, every room you
enter becomes a dark room.
Bookman, you and your camera
can come to the wedding.
Oh, goody.
Hi, there.
Hey, Miss Woods.
I'm going down
to get my little Brownie
out of the closet.
How nice. Your wife will like
to come out for some fresh air.
Willona, I just love that dress.
You're a beautiful bridesmaid.
Thank you, baby.
If the right man came along,
this bridesmaid's gown
could turn into a wedding dress
before you can
throw Minute Rice.
Oh, look at my baby.
Penny, you look so cute.
Thank you.
When I grow up,
I'm gonna marry J.J.
Willona will be
my mother-in-law?
Say what? Oh,
no, what I'm saying
is that with all my
female admirers,
I wouldn't be responsible
for the mass suicides.
Oh, yeah?
If any of them commit suicide,
they're gonna have to be
buried at the pet cemetery.
Ooh, I wouldn't
take that. Oh, J.J.!
No violence, no violence.
Now, go on.
Put the coat on,
and open that door.
Ah, Lena!
Hi, Lena!
Are you nervous?
Are you excited?
Well, it's not every
day a girl gets married.
Well, the Gabor sisters
gave it a hell of a shot.
Oh, Lena, you're
getting a wonderful guy.
I just can't figure how
you ripped him off from me.
I don't call him
"Tiger" for nothing.
I heard that. I heard that.
If that's Henry,
I don't want him to see
me before the wedding.
Go on. Okay, I'll
take your bag, okay?
All right, hurry up.
Is this the Evans residence?
I'm Reverend Beasley.
Yeah, it is, Reverend Beasley.
Come on in.
Just a moment.
I don't want to track any mud
across your lovely carpets.
Hey, everybody, this
is Reverend Beasley.
Reverend Beasley, the family.
Hello. How are you?
Ooh, lawdy, Miss Clawdy.
You must be the lovely bride.
Oh, lovely, yes, bride, no.
Rev? Uh-huh?
What's that on your shoe?
Oh.
Come on, Penny.
Let's see if Lena has
her "something borrowed."
How about my library
book? That's borrowed.
Oh, no, baby. Come on.
Something old, something new...
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
What do we have here?
Champagne,
caviar... and chitlin dip.
Indeed.
I suppose that you want
my first-class ceremony.
No, Rev, I think we'll be
traveling tourists today.
Grampa!
Michael, how are you?
Oh, what is this?
What, somebody having a party?
What's going on in
here? Who's the party for?
It... It's for you. It's
for you, Gramps.
Hey, Michael, get
me some black coffee,
and make sure I
have plenty of it.
Come on in here, Gramps.
Gramps, there'll be no singing.
Come on in here,
Gramps, come on in here.
Gramps, you got to shape up.
You're getting
married in 10 minutes.
I can't get married, J.J.
What are you talkin' about?
Your grandfather is a failure.
You can't say that
about my grandfather.
They turned down my invention.
Turned it down?
They had three more
food compressors
better than mine.
And the Japanese
are bringing in one
with an AM and FM radio.
Well, Gramps, a lot of
inventors have failed.
I mean, look at Edison.
It took him years to teach
that dog to talk into the Victrola.
Here's your coffee.
Hey, y'all better hurry up,
'cause the reverend's
eating all the caviar.
J.J., it doesn't matter
how much it cost,
I'm gonna pay you
back every cent.
All the things I wanted
to do for you children,
and all the dreams
I had for you,
things that I never could do
when your father was living,
and now they're just dreams.
All just dreams.
Hey, that's okay, Grampa.
Grampa, hurry up.
We're waiting on you.
See, they're waiting for you.
J.J., I can't do it.
I can't do it.
But, Gramps, this morning
you said you loved Lena.
I do love her, and
I want to marry her,
but she thinks she's
marrying a wealthy man.
Well, why don't
you just talk to her
and explain the situation?
Yeah, I-I-I was gonna do that.
Good. I'll go get her.
Here's some coffee,
in the meanwhile.
What's wrong, Henry?
They turned down my invention.
Oh, I'm sorry.
And now we can't get married.
Well, why ever not?
Well, you know
if we get married,
we're gonna have to take a cut
in our social security.
Henry Evans, if you think
I'm marrying you for your money,
why, you couldn't be wronger.
Now, if we can't make
it on social security,
I can always get a job
as a topless dancer.
You really do love
me, don't you, Lena?
You couldn't be righter.
♪ I love you truly ♪
♪ Truly, dear ♪
♪ Life with its sorrow ♪
♪ Life with its tears ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪
Dear friends, we are
gathered here together
to join Lena Anderson
and Henry Evans
in the bonds of holy matrimony.
♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪
♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
Good Times was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You need a friend ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪
Forty seconds left in the game,
and Chicago trails by a basket.
J.J., will you get up
and help me clean this house
before Grampa and Lena get here?
Later, Thelma, later!
Hey, Thelma, turn
that set back on
or else I'm gonna slam dunk
that melon head of yours!
Oh, look, J.J.
The knob came off.
Thelma, you put that back on.
Otherwise, the knob on
your head is gonna come off.
Put your neck in there.
Just put your neck in there.
It's gonna come out like
a long piece of licorice.
Oh, here.
Hi, y'all.
Oh, Mr. Miguel,
how was the movie?
It was good, man.
We went to see Close
Encounters of the Third Kind.
Did Cindy call me?
Yep, and she is
very upset with you.
Aw, again?
I wonder what I did this time.
In the movie, this little boy
was on his way to school
when this big UFO swoops down
and carries him away.
Oh, yeah?
I've heard of bussing
kids, but never in a UFO.
Hi, Cindy?
What?
No, I did not go to the
movies with another girl.
That was only Penny.
"Only"?
Cindy, she's not my girl.
She's just a kid.
She can't be more
than 9 or 10. Wha...?
If you don't believe me, why
don't you ask her yourself.
I'll let you talk to her,
okay? Hold on a sec.
Penny, will you
tell her, please?
Cindy, darling...
This is Penny Woods.
Michael's mentioned you to me.
Your name came up when
he took me ice skating.
And he mentioned you
when we went to the movies,
and he pointed you out
when we went to the zoo.
Cindy... Cindy?
She hung up, Penny.
What'd you do that for?
I'm not 9 or 10.
I'm 10 and a half, going on 11.
Hmm, well, I gotta
go straighten this out.
Hi, Gramps. Hi, Willona.
Sure is nice talkin' to you.
How was the movie?
It was great, Mama.
You owe Michael $4.50.
Four dollars and 50 cents?
Did you see a movie or make it?
Hey, Willona.
Grampa and Lena
are on their way over
from the bus station.
You know, that dude's
got more going for him
than half the dudes
I know half his age.
Yeah, and he keeps
his girlfriend, Lena,
lookin' young too.
But isn't Lena your grandmother?
Oh, not exactly...
No, no, they're just
very good friends.
Oh, one of those
modern arrangements.
Like Barbra Streisand
and Jon Peters.
Oh, well, let's go home, Penny,
get the surprise we baked
last night for Grampa.
Mama, you're gonna
be surprised too.
Why? One of the
pieces is missing.
Correction. Two of
the pieces are missing.
J.J., Grampa and Lena
are gonna be staying
in your room, okay?
You mean me and Michael
have to sleep on the couch?
Well, you're used to it.
What's wrong with your
room, aardvark nose?
Did you make up with Cindy?
Thelma, I made up with her,
but she didn't make up with me.
Michael, if you wanna get along
with females of
the opposite sex,
you gotta go
by the J.J. Evans
code of romance.
First, you have to tease them
and please them.
Then when they
get nice and ready,
you have to seize
them and squeeze them.
Grampa Evans!
Hey, Michael!
Wahoo! Yeah.
Let me look at you. I
hardly recognize you.
Hey, come and give
your granddaddy a kiss.
Mwah!
Brown sugar.
Ooh!
Don't tell me
this handsome dude is Michael.
Well, you know. What can I say?
Hey, J.J.
Your mama wrote me
that you are now a big
advertising executive.
Well, I guess she's right.
I'm the only one there
allowed to squeeze the Charmin.
I guess you all are wonderin'
why we chose to
come back to Chicago.
Well, it is a surprise.
Well, you see this little box?
Uh-huh.
It's gonna get us
all out of the ghetto.
Oh, yeah? What is it, a bomb?
It's his invention.
Your grampa's been
working on it for years.
Grampa, what is it?
Well, you know, all
those years I spent at sea
working in the
galley wasn't wasted.
Thelma, I invented
this little machine
that's gonna
revolutionize the kitchen.
Oh, yeah? What's it gonna
do? Make Thelma disappear?
I'll explain all that
to you tomorrow
after I meet with
the manufacturers.
You know, we've
been corresponding,
and they are anxious to see it.
Ooh, Henry's gonna be so rich,
I'm gonna have my
monogram on all my underwear.
"L.E." for Lena Evans.
Lena Evans!
Grampa, you didn't tell us.
What? That Lena's gonna
have her initials on her drawers?
No, that you're married.
Well, we are not,
and you know we
are living together.
That way we each get
a social security check.
If we get married,
we're gonna lose part of it.
Yes, but, Henry, you always said
if you ever came
into a lot of money,
we'd get married.
Yes, yes, I know that, Lena,
but right now I've got
a lot of other
things on my mind.
You're going back on your word?
Not now, Lena.
We'll talk about it
when we get home.
No, we'll talk about it now.
Sit down, Lena.
We'll talk about
it another time.
Um, let's go put the
bags away, okay?
All right.
Hey, whoa, whoa.
What room are we sleeping in?
J.J.'s. Thelma's.
Wait.
We ain't sleeping
in no different rooms.
Oh, yes, we are, Mr. Evans.
You're sleeping here,
and I'm sleeping at a motel.
Oh, Grampa, stop her!
Don't worry, she
isn't going anywhere.
Unless she's selling suitcases,
she's going somewhere.
You'll regret this, Henry Evans.
I gave you the
best years of my life.
Now, now, wait a minute, Lena.
We've just known
each other for four years.
Well, I was a late bloomer.
Grampa, you're
going to let Lena go?
No, no, no, no, no. No.
Hold it, hold it.
There's a time to laugh,
and there's a time to cry,
and there's a time to
go after your woman,
and right now isn't the time.
Oh, Grampa.
Well, I'll take the
luggage into your room.
Lena, wait a minute.
Grampa didn't mean what he said.
Then why didn't
he come after me?
Because he's being stubborn.
You know men.
They act like children.
Oh, don't I know it.
Whether they're 9 or
90, they all want a mother,
and I'm not about
to burp that man.
It don't make no
difference how old they are,
they all are
looking for a father,
and I ain't about to bounce
that woman on my knee.
I know just what
you mean, Grampa.
You do?
You living with an old woman?
Not exactly, Grampa.
I mean Cindy's only 16,
but she's just as jealous
as a 65-year-old woman,
and unreasonable.
I mean, I had the hardest...
Yeah, well, Lena's
unreasonable too.
Now, we've been living
together for four years,
and she still wants to
know if I'm serious. Serious?
Cindy or Lena.
They're all alike.
They just don't
think like a man.
Good thing they
don't look like a man.
Amen. Amen.
But you do love
Grampa, don't you?
Of course I love him.
I tell him that every day.
But right now I wouldn't
go back to that man
if he were the Mayor of Motown.
You know, Michael,
I wouldn't go after that woman
if she was Nefertiti
and owned an oil well.
You know what, Michael?
When I sell that invention,
I'm gonna see that
you go to law school
right on up to the
Supreme Court.
Chief Justice Michael Evans.
And don't forget the poor
man when you get there.
I won't forget, Grampa.
Yeah.
And, Thelma,
you are going to wear
the most beautiful fur coat
on Lakeshore Drive.
A mink coat with a sable lining.
And J.J., I'm gonna
buy you the longest
and the biggest Rolls
Royce that you ever seen.
Wow.
I can see the license plate now.
The front will have Michigan,
and the back will have Illinois.
Henry, you old sea dog.
Willona. Oh!
You get prettier every
time I come to Chicago.
Why, if I was just
10 years younger
and you was 10 years older...
You still couldn't
catch me, honey.
I'd still be too fast for you.
Where's Lena?
We had a little hassle.
And it's breaking
your heart, huh?
Yeah, it's no sweat.
She'll be back.
The first telephone booth,
she's gonna be calling me.
You'll see.
Okay. Henry, look.
This is for you, Grampa Evans.
Aw, thank you.
Now, who is this little darling?
This little darling
is my adopted daughter, Penny.
Aw, well, look at
those dancin' eyes.
I haven't seen
anything this beautiful
since I captured that mermaid
down on the coast of Bermuda.
Henry.
A real mermaid? Yeah!
What happened to her?
She became a model
for the tuna fish company.
Oh!
Whoo-hoo!
Chello.
Oh, hi, Lena.
What'd I tell you?
Yeah, Gramps is here.
Okay. Uh... Oh.
Okay.
I'll tell him.
Bye.
Well?
Uh, yeah, uh, Gramps,
Lena left a message for you.
Yeah? When's she comin' back?
She's going to New
Orleans tomorrow.
She's not coming back.
You know, J.J.,
I really feel awful about
Lena leaving Grampa.
Yeah, don't worry, Thelma.
He'll snap back.
That's more than I can
say for these pancakes.
Girl, what'd you make
these things out of,
Silly Putty?
Did Cynthia call?
No, and Lena didn't either.
Ah, don't worry about it.
As soon as Grampa
sells that invention of his,
he'll be able to buy
him a harem of Lenas.
Come on, J.J.,
where's your sensitivity?
They had a real love affair.
You know, there's some
things money can't buy.
Michael, obviously
you don't understand
the final workaries
of big business.
You see,
you should see the foxes that
throw themselves at my feet
just for a Big Mac and fries.
Yes, I have seen your foxes,
and they all look like the
golden arches fell on 'em.
Ooh, look, here comes Grampa,
and don't mention Lena.
All right.
Hey, Grampa, would
you like some breakfast?
Yeah, how 'bout
some Lena and eggs...
I mean, uh, some bacon and eggs?
I would like to, but I don't want
to be late for my appointment
with the kitchen
equipment people.
Did I get any calls?
No, Grampa, Lena didn't call...
Cindy didn't call.
Well, why would
Cindy be calling me?
Lena! Well, Grampa,
look who's here.
Good morning, J.J.
Oh, Lena!
Mr. Evans.
My jogging suit
is in your suitcase.
Oh, now wait a minute, Lena.
We ought to have a little talk.
I'm here for my
jogging suit, Henry.
Oh, now, lighten up, Lena.
You know why you're here.
You don't understand
women, Henry.
Especially me.
You had a good thing going,
but you blew it.
Well, like, Lena... Lena, now,
give me a little chance to explain.
You had your chance.
Oh, now, Lena,
Lena, we've got a
whole lot to talk about.
Our future.
Um, J.J... Michael.
What's come over you, Lena?
It's not me, Henry. It's you.
You've changed.
You used to make
me feel important
and attractive.
But now you make me feel like
some kind of
gray-haired Barbie doll.
Now, how can you say that?
It's true, Henry.
You take me for granted.
"When is dinner, Lena?"
"Sit down, Lena."
"Stand up, Lena."
When was the last time
you said you loved me?
Well, the last time I told
you to stand up, Lena?
A woman wants to be told
she's loved and wanted.
All right. Okay.
Okay.
I love you, you little
grey-haired Barbie doll.
And we are getting
married... mwah.
Today.
No.
No?
I don't want to be told
we're getting married.
I want to be asked.
Real nice.
Well, would you like for me
to get down on one knee?
Oh, no, no, you may not
be able to get back up.
Will you marry me, sweetheart?
Oh, yes, Tiger.
Hey, Michael, Thelma,
J.J., guess what?
Yay!
Congratulations.
Oh, Thelma, I'd like you
to be my Maid of Honor.
Around here, we'd just
like her to be the maid.
J.J., you can give
the bride away.
Why, certainly.
Michael.
Yeah?
You be the best man.
I wish my old lady
would tell me that.
And, J.J., you'll handle
all the arrangements.
And, honey, come on,
we've got to go get
us a wedding ring
and a marriage license.
Here, Henry.
What's that?
That's the wedding ring.
Uh, yeah.
When'd you get that?
The day after I met you.
Well, where's the reverend?
The marriage is gonna
take place in a little while.
Well, where is he?
What? He's at a funeral?
Well, tell him when
he gets over here,
don't have no mud on his shoes.
J.J., how do you like
the Maid of Honor?
You look great,
Thelma, just great,
except you got a tree
growing out of your head.
Ah... yes. Of course.
Hey, I heard there's gonna
be a wedding around here.
Was it an accident
I wasn't invited?
No, Bookman, it was on purpose.
Hey, what's that
funny-looking stuff over here?
Hey, Bookman, don't
mess with that, now.
That's caviar. It
costs $15 an ounce.
We bought a nickel's worth.
Fifteen dollars?
They sure put one over on you.
The caviar got
away and all it left
was these little black things.
Bookman, if they ever
gave a prize for stupidity,
you'd probably eat it.
Well, look, is there
anything I can do?
Maybe you need a musician,
a bartender, a photographer?
Photographer?
Hold on, Bookman,
you're a photographer?
Am I a photographer? Haven't
you seen my dark room?
Bookman, every room you
enter becomes a dark room.
Bookman, you and your camera
can come to the wedding.
Oh, goody.
Hi, there.
Hey, Miss Woods.
I'm going down
to get my little Brownie
out of the closet.
How nice. Your wife will like
to come out for some fresh air.
Willona, I just love that dress.
You're a beautiful bridesmaid.
Thank you, baby.
If the right man came along,
this bridesmaid's gown
could turn into a wedding dress
before you can
throw Minute Rice.
Oh, look at my baby.
Penny, you look so cute.
Thank you.
When I grow up,
I'm gonna marry J.J.
Willona will be
my mother-in-law?
Say what? Oh,
no, what I'm saying
is that with all my
female admirers,
I wouldn't be responsible
for the mass suicides.
Oh, yeah?
If any of them commit suicide,
they're gonna have to be
buried at the pet cemetery.
Ooh, I wouldn't
take that. Oh, J.J.!
No violence, no violence.
Now, go on.
Put the coat on,
and open that door.
Ah, Lena!
Hi, Lena!
Are you nervous?
Are you excited?
Well, it's not every
day a girl gets married.
Well, the Gabor sisters
gave it a hell of a shot.
Oh, Lena, you're
getting a wonderful guy.
I just can't figure how
you ripped him off from me.
I don't call him
"Tiger" for nothing.
I heard that. I heard that.
If that's Henry,
I don't want him to see
me before the wedding.
Go on. Okay, I'll
take your bag, okay?
All right, hurry up.
Is this the Evans residence?
I'm Reverend Beasley.
Yeah, it is, Reverend Beasley.
Come on in.
Just a moment.
I don't want to track any mud
across your lovely carpets.
Hey, everybody, this
is Reverend Beasley.
Reverend Beasley, the family.
Hello. How are you?
Ooh, lawdy, Miss Clawdy.
You must be the lovely bride.
Oh, lovely, yes, bride, no.
Rev? Uh-huh?
What's that on your shoe?
Oh.
Come on, Penny.
Let's see if Lena has
her "something borrowed."
How about my library
book? That's borrowed.
Oh, no, baby. Come on.
Something old, something new...
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
What do we have here?
Champagne,
caviar... and chitlin dip.
Indeed.
I suppose that you want
my first-class ceremony.
No, Rev, I think we'll be
traveling tourists today.
Grampa!
Michael, how are you?
Oh, what is this?
What, somebody having a party?
What's going on in
here? Who's the party for?
It... It's for you. It's
for you, Gramps.
Hey, Michael, get
me some black coffee,
and make sure I
have plenty of it.
Come on in here, Gramps.
Gramps, there'll be no singing.
Come on in here,
Gramps, come on in here.
Gramps, you got to shape up.
You're getting
married in 10 minutes.
I can't get married, J.J.
What are you talkin' about?
Your grandfather is a failure.
You can't say that
about my grandfather.
They turned down my invention.
Turned it down?
They had three more
food compressors
better than mine.
And the Japanese
are bringing in one
with an AM and FM radio.
Well, Gramps, a lot of
inventors have failed.
I mean, look at Edison.
It took him years to teach
that dog to talk into the Victrola.
Here's your coffee.
Hey, y'all better hurry up,
'cause the reverend's
eating all the caviar.
J.J., it doesn't matter
how much it cost,
I'm gonna pay you
back every cent.
All the things I wanted
to do for you children,
and all the dreams
I had for you,
things that I never could do
when your father was living,
and now they're just dreams.
All just dreams.
Hey, that's okay, Grampa.
Grampa, hurry up.
We're waiting on you.
See, they're waiting for you.
J.J., I can't do it.
I can't do it.
But, Gramps, this morning
you said you loved Lena.
I do love her, and
I want to marry her,
but she thinks she's
marrying a wealthy man.
Well, why don't
you just talk to her
and explain the situation?
Yeah, I-I-I was gonna do that.
Good. I'll go get her.
Here's some coffee,
in the meanwhile.
What's wrong, Henry?
They turned down my invention.
Oh, I'm sorry.
And now we can't get married.
Well, why ever not?
Well, you know
if we get married,
we're gonna have to take a cut
in our social security.
Henry Evans, if you think
I'm marrying you for your money,
why, you couldn't be wronger.
Now, if we can't make
it on social security,
I can always get a job
as a topless dancer.
You really do love
me, don't you, Lena?
You couldn't be righter.
♪ I love you truly ♪
♪ Truly, dear ♪
♪ Life with its sorrow ♪
♪ Life with its tears ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪
Dear friends, we are
gathered here together
to join Lena Anderson
and Henry Evans
in the bonds of holy matrimony.
♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪
♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
Good Times was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
♪ Good times ♪