Good Times (1974–1979): Season 5, Episode 11 - Requiem for a Wino - full transcript
A homeless man returns to the Evan's apartment building after having been away for awhile. Later, they hear he died in an accident and hold a wake. Turns out, Fishbone's wallet was stolen and another man died. Fishbone finds he has friends.
♪ Good times Any time
you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit
rip-offs Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪
All right. I found a
basket for the lunch.
Oh, come on, you
call that a basket?
You can't put no food in there.
Thelma, this here box was
able to hold 24 cans of ALPO.
Now, you know it ought
to hold whatever you cook.
Are you sure we'd rather
be going to the game
than sitting at home,
watching it on TV?
Are you kidding, Penny?
There's nothing like going
to a football game in person.
But it's freezing outside,
and the seats are hard,
and the people are always
jumping up so you can't see.
And they're always dripping
mustard on you from their hot dogs.
So why are we going?
Yeah, why are we going?
It's a great game. And besides,
there are two
good teams playing:
The Chicago Bears
and the Detroit Lions.
How come they name
football teams after animals?
Honey, have you ever seen
what they do to each
other on that field?
Punching each other,
scratching, kicking, pulling hair.
I ain't seen nothing like that
since last night on the bus.
Well...
I got 'em, Mr. Miguel.
Six football tickets
smack-dab on the 50-yard line.
All right! Yay!
Yeah. And, Thelma, make sure
you make plenty of food there.
Uh... since when did you
start liking my cooking?
Not me, Thelma. It's
for the Detroit Lions.
See, while they're holding
their stomachs on the ground,
Chicago Bears
be running all over.
J.J., since we have six tickets,
and there are only five of us,
can I call a date to come along?
No, no, Mr. Miguel.
Uh, I already invited
a young lady I've been
trying to get next to,
by the name of
Boom-Boom Belinda.
Mama, why do they
call her Boom-Boom?
Oh, because she works
in a cannonball factory,
you know, boom-boom.
Boom, doom, doop!
Hey, y'all. Did y'all know
that Fishbone's back
in the old neighborhood?
You mean Fishbone's back here?
Who's Fishbone?
Well, let me put
it this way, Penny.
In wine country, they
have a plaque up to him:
"To Fishbone the wino,
with love and gratitude."
Oh, he has a drinking problem.
Uh, yeah. His problem is he
can never get enough to drink.
Hey, J.J., who told you that?
Old Campbell the cop. Told
me old' Fishbone was out
in the middle of Rush Street
with his red underwear on,
directing traffic, waiting for
his underwear to turn green.
Well, are we all packed
up and ready to go?
Yeah, and don't forget
you all are having dinner
with the Ebony Prince today.
J.J., maybe you know.
How come they name
football teams after animals?
Because nobody
would wanna go see
the Chicago Lilacs
play the Detroit Petunias.
Whoo!
Fishbone, you old sea dog!
Where you been?
What you been doing?
Working, working, boy.
Yes, yes. Come in here.
I got... I got a
regular job now.
How long you been
working steady?
What time is it?
Ten o'clock.
One hour. Sixty minutes, yes.
Yeah... I'm delivering
free samples.
Oh, yeah? Well, come on
in and deliver. Yeah, yeah.
I was working for... I was
delivering mouthwash...
Outfit yesterday, but you know,
that only lasted a couple hours,
and then... well, I got fired.
Fishbone, why did you get fired?
Well, I... Well, I found
out that the mouthwash
contained two-percent alcohol.
Whoo!
I never felt so bad and
smelled so good in all my life!
Um, Fishbone, what
you giving away now?
Well, it's something
new here. It's called, uh...
Soup-in-a-Sack. Here you go.
All you do is add
alcohol. I mean water.
Yeah. It's foolproof.
Oh, we need something
better than that.
We need something
that's Thelma-proof.
Penny, why don't you and Gramps
go make some hot chocolate.
'Kay?
Fishbone, what you doing?
Girl, I'm loading you
folks up with soup,
because it's good for
you, I like you, it's free,
and I'm too tired to
knock on any more doors.
Fishbone, now, come
on, you can't fool us.
We've been knowing you too long.
What is the matter?
Well, well... I had a
birthday the other day.
Oh, that's it! Happy
birthday! Aw, happy birthday!
Yeah, we didn't know that.
Yeah, well, didn't
nobody else know either.
I even sent myself a
card, and it never arrived.
You know, it made me
realize, I've lived half my life,
and I don't have a
friend in the world.
That's ridiculous.
That's right. You're a bon
vivant, the man about town,
a connoisseur of the grape.
Yeah, and if nobody
remembers you on my birthday,
how they gonna remember
you when you're gone?
Oh, come on, now. Who
could ever forget you?
Now, Bookman likes you.
He lets you sleep down by
the furnace when it's cold.
Oh, yeah, but even he forgot
to say those three little words:
"Happy. Birth. Day."
I tell you, it is a terrible
world without friends.
Oh, come on now, Fishbone.
Now, you have some friends.
Yeah, what about
Ray the bartender?
Him?
I give him all my business,
and what does he do?
Turns right around, makes
me wash dishes all week.
And all... And all over nothing.
I don't think throwing a bottle
through the front
window is nothing.
Well, did you ever wake
up in the middle of the night
and find yourself
locked up in a bar?
I had to throw that
bottle to get out of there.
I was late for a meeting
with my colleagues
at Alcoholics Am-no-nomonous.
You know we are your friends.
In fact, you are practically
like one of the family.
That's right. Too bad you wasn't over here
a little earlier, for breakfast with us.
Well, you mean y'all
would think enough of me
to invite me over for
a hot-cooked meal?
Any time.
Well, in that case, I'll be
over here tonight for dinner.
Oh, wait, wait, uh, Fishbone.
You see, tonight would
not be the best night.
Not a good night, because we
were getting ready to go out...
Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, y'all busy.
Okay, well, I can understand.
I don't like a lot of
people around me no way.
You know, I'm used to
being alone. I can understand.
Yeah, some other
time. Okay, Fishbone?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Some other time.
Hope you understand.
Oh, of course.
Sure, I understand.
Well... Well, we blew that one.
Yeah, poor Fishbone. He's
feeling sorry for himself again
because he has no friends.
He's got friends:
the Ripple Brothers...
Paul Masson...
Manischewitz.
You know, maybe we should've
changed our plans a little
and come back here for dinner.
You really think so, Willona?
Good friends would have.
Hoo!
Hey, Raymond... Yes.
Another round for me
and my partner. I'm buying.
Of course.
Oh, thank you, stranger.
Don't think nothing of it.
Ooh!
You know... Huh? Make it quick.
You been so nice to me,
I'm gonna give
you a little stock tip.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Shh.
See, my broker is E.F. Hutton.
And E.F. Hutton says...
How 'bout that. Nobody
even looked around!
Fishbone, would
you do me a favor?
What is it?
I gotta go in the
back for a minute.
Would you keep an
eye on the place for me?
Yeah, sure, man. Good.
And, uh, to show
you where my heart is,
the house is buying
the next round.
All right.
You know, your friend
sure is a nice guy.
Well, he's all right.
But if he was such
a friend of ours,
he would've give
us something good,
instead of this
rotgut we're drinking.
Whoo! Lord, have mercy...
Look here, partner.
Watch the store.
I got to go to the sandbox.
Okay.
♪ Whew, straighten
up and fly right ♪
♪ Straighten up
And stay right, yeah ♪
Mmm, well...
J.J., it doesn't look
like he's in here.
Oh, wow, that's weird.
I thought for sure he'd be
in here drinking his lunch.
Oh, man, just to think
I gave up a date with
Boom-Boom Belinda for this.
Hey, Ray!
Uh, by any chance, you
happen to see Fishbone?
He was here just a minute ago.
Well, we have to find him
because J.J. has an extra ticket
for the Bears game, and
we wanna take him with us.
Yeah, sort of like a
belated birthday present.
Well, he's gotta be
around here somewhere.
You know, Fishbone
would not leave
unless he had too
many for the road.
Hey, check this out!
What's going on?
Hey, there's an accident!
Somebody's hurt real bad.
Coming through. Coming through.
Hey, Ray, gotta use your
phone. Gotta call the precinct.
I'm calling an
ambulance right now.
Forget it.
That old geezer out
there got nailed by a truck.
He ain't gonna use an
ambulance or nothing else.
He got killed?
You see this wallet here?
Well, he's flatter than this.
Yeah.
Officer Campbell calling.
We've got a traffic fatality
down here at 2526 Duquesne.
Yeah.
Ah, the victim's name is,
uh, Theodosius P. Johnson.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, I'll be here.
Theodosius P. Johnson.
Does anybody know who that is?
We all know who he is.
But we call him Fishbone.
Fishbone?
Fishbone was killed?
Oh, wow. Coming through.
I don't believe that.
J.J., that's horrible!
Oh, wow.
And just this morning
he was saying,
if nobody remembered
his birthday,
nobody would remember
him when he was gone.
And now poor Fishbone's dead.
Oh, that's terrible.
Well, I... Well, I'm dead.
Ain't no use to worry
about it no more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, here's to me.
May I rest in peace.
Whoo!
Mama. Hmm?
If Fishbone's in heaven,
do you think they made
him an angel by now?
I hope so, honey.
Just in case, I'm gonna
God-bless him tonight.
Well is he is in heaven,
I hope they don't arrest
him for drunken flying.
I wish we could all just
stop talking about all this,
because I am
depressed as I can be.
Hi, folks.
Correction. I just got
even more depressed.
Booger, what you got in
the suitcase, your lunch?
No, I found this down
in the furnace room,
where old Fishbone
used to sleep.
I guess it belonged to him.
Oh, wow, Fishbone's estate.
Wow. Maybe we'll find out
a little bit more
about Fishbone now.
What's all this stuff?
This sure is a
wrinkled, old picture.
Oh, look at this
nice old couple.
Maybe they were close
friends of Fishbone's.
Look. Let me see that.
Yeah, they were close
to Fishbone, all right.
This is Ernest and Julio Gallo.
Oh, wow. Check
out this foxy mama.
Sweet brown sugar.
She's beautiful. I
wonder who she is.
Probably the lady
in Fishbone's life.
Oh, how romantic.
She probably drove him to drink.
You got it, Thelma.
It's his sister.
This might be
important. It's a clipping.
About a baseball player
named Rabbit Johnson,
who was third baseman
in the Negro League.
You mean Fishbone
was an athlete?
We don't know that.
There's a lot of folks
named Johnson.
Anyway, the date on
this clipping is 1946.
That's just a year before Jackie
Robinson joined the Dodgers.
Wow, Mama, that's ancient.
You can remember way back then?
I just, uh, happened
to read it yesterday.
What's gonna happen
to Fishbone now?
They'll probably bury him
in some unmarked
grave somewhere.
Well, then he was right.
Nobody will remember him.
No, Michael, he was wrong.
We will remember him.
But how, J.J.?
Funerals are expensive.
Wait a minute, now. Take
it easy. If we all chip in,
we could handle one of
Ferguson's no-frills funerals.
No-frills funerals?
You know what that's like.
No flowers, no organ,
no chapel... no coffin.
They just put you in
a brown paper sack
and mail you to Cleveland.
Well, we ain't gonna have
no paper bag for Fishbone.
We gonna do this thing up right
so he'll always be remembered...
Hey, I got it. I got it!
A down-home wake!
A wake! That's a great idea!
J.J... I got here
as soon as I heard.
Oh, Wanda, that's so
nice of you to come.
I wouldn't miss it for
the world. Poor Harry!
Fishbone, Wanda. Fishbone.
Well, whoever.
Oh, Wanda, what lovely roses.
Oh, these are beautiful.
And what an appropriate
message. Success.
Well, if you don't mind,
honey, I want to use 'em again.
I'm going to another funeral.
Hey, what you got
there? I'll take that.
Some more of
Fishbone's belongings?
No, that's Fishbone.
Since it's his wake, Ferguson
figured he ought to be here.
Yeah, I guess Fishbone
would have liked it like that.
Say, blood My name is Lenny
And if I ain't got
it There ain't any
Though we came here To weep
I got something You can keep
Now, it ain't a horse
And it ain't a rhino.
It's just a memento
To Fishbone the wino.
Okay, everybody, let's
get the ceremony started.
Come on. Sit down, everybody.
Fill the back rows up there.
Everybody sit down.
Let's get on with it.
Okay, now. Here we go.
I wonder who she is?
Oh! I knew there was a
woman in Fishbone's life.
Oh...
Oh, and she must have
loved him so very much.
Ah... brothers and sisters...
Uh, later, Wanda. Later.
Oh.
Brothers and sisters, I have
prepared a few extemporary words
for this occasion that I thought
would not hold us here very long,
which would come to a
conclusion of the situation.
Brothers and sisters,
we are gathered here
because of our dear friend,
and through the courtesy
of Ray the bartender.
All right.
And we are here to pay tribute
to our dear friend and comrade,
Fishbone.
We are here to
pay tribute to a man
who left a special mark in
our hearts and in our souls.
I didn't know Harry did that.
Fishbone. Fishbone.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, later, Wanda. Later.
You see, Fishbone was a
modest and humble man.
Humble man.
He never spoke of himself.
But when he passed
beyond the reef,
we were able to puzzle
together a few parts of his life.
Yeah! All right. Yes we did!
Poor Fishbone
was born too soon...
and died too soon.
Now, Wanda!
Cool it, mama!
I'm working this wake.
And then there was the
woman in Fishbone's life.
Yeah... Yes, the
woman. Mmmm-hmmm...
Yes. A love affair
that was unrivaled
in passion and fervor.
That's right! One that rivaled
that of Caesar and Cleopatra.
Anthony and Cleopatra!
Leroy and Cleopatra!
Leroy?
And, brothers and
sisters, weep as you may,
because at the end, Fishbone
did not die a happy man.
No, he didn't. Because
we have a problem.
What we do is when somebody
is down here in the green pasture,
we do not tell them
how much we love them.
We wait for them to go
up to the heavenly gates
before we sing their praises.
And brothers and sisters,
let me tell you something.
This is your fault!
Oh, Harry, I'm sorry!
Fishbone! Fishbone!
Fishbone, I'm
sorry! Well, whoever.
And also it is my fault.
That's right, it is my fault.
Because we must tell someone
when they are down here
how much we love them,
how much we need them.
Now if we knew that we
were going to die the next day,
we would go immediately to the
telephone and call our loved ones.
Which reminds me of a story.
Suppose we were to get
to the telephone booth,
and find out we did
not have a dime?!
We would be up the telephone
booth without a paddle.
That's right!
So, Fishbone, we want to say,
in conclusion, that we miss you.
We miss you!
We need you. We need you!
We love you. We love you!
And I hope you can
hear us, Fishbone.
I hope you can hear
us now, Fishbone.
Hear me good, Fishbone!
Oww!
Yes!
What is this?
Fishbone!
He's alive! He's alive!
Wait a minute. Wait one minute.
How dare you be alive!
Does that mean we
can't go to the cemetery?
I closed my place
down for nothing!
You know I got a good
mind to lock you up
for impersonating a corpse!
Yeah, Fishbone, you
owe us an explanation.
How could you play on our
emotions like this, Fishbone?
You can't play
with us like that!
Hold it, hold it. Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Hold it. Hold it.
Now, just back off, everybody.
Now, what is this
all about, anyway?
Love, right?
That's what J.J. just got
through preaching about,
telling people that you
love 'em before it's too late.
So tell me!
I was good enough
for you when I'm dead.
Now I'm alive. I'm here.
So tell me you love me!
Tell me! Tell me you love me.
Love you, Fishbone.
♪ I hear one little
voice In the wind ♪
♪ I hear one little
voice In the wind ♪
♪ Can I get another? ♪
Yes, I'm a witness. I love you!
Yes, can I hear another?
Can I get another?
I love you, Fishbone!
Clap your hands, everybody!
♪ Fishbone, we love you!
Fishbone, we love you! ♪
♪ Fishbone, we love you!
Fishbone, we love you! ♪
♪ Fishbone, we love you! ♪
Yes, and Fishbone
loves you, too!
♪ Fishbone, we love you ♪
Woo-hoo!
♪ Fishbone, we love you! ♪
Yes, yes!
One more time!
♪ Fishbone, we love you!
Fishbone, we love you! ♪
Fishbone! As long as you live,
don't you ever die
on us like that again.
I sure won't, Miss
Malone... Miss... Waa!
I can't even say your name!
That's all right.
Love you so much, I can't
say your name. I know.
You know, 'cause a man
gets a funeral like this
only once in a lifetime.
Fishbone, we love you!
Fishbone, we love you!
♪ Just looking out
Of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinking how it all
looks Hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit rip-offs
Good times... ♪
Good Times is videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
♪ Good times ♪
you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit
rip-offs Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪
All right. I found a
basket for the lunch.
Oh, come on, you
call that a basket?
You can't put no food in there.
Thelma, this here box was
able to hold 24 cans of ALPO.
Now, you know it ought
to hold whatever you cook.
Are you sure we'd rather
be going to the game
than sitting at home,
watching it on TV?
Are you kidding, Penny?
There's nothing like going
to a football game in person.
But it's freezing outside,
and the seats are hard,
and the people are always
jumping up so you can't see.
And they're always dripping
mustard on you from their hot dogs.
So why are we going?
Yeah, why are we going?
It's a great game. And besides,
there are two
good teams playing:
The Chicago Bears
and the Detroit Lions.
How come they name
football teams after animals?
Honey, have you ever seen
what they do to each
other on that field?
Punching each other,
scratching, kicking, pulling hair.
I ain't seen nothing like that
since last night on the bus.
Well...
I got 'em, Mr. Miguel.
Six football tickets
smack-dab on the 50-yard line.
All right! Yay!
Yeah. And, Thelma, make sure
you make plenty of food there.
Uh... since when did you
start liking my cooking?
Not me, Thelma. It's
for the Detroit Lions.
See, while they're holding
their stomachs on the ground,
Chicago Bears
be running all over.
J.J., since we have six tickets,
and there are only five of us,
can I call a date to come along?
No, no, Mr. Miguel.
Uh, I already invited
a young lady I've been
trying to get next to,
by the name of
Boom-Boom Belinda.
Mama, why do they
call her Boom-Boom?
Oh, because she works
in a cannonball factory,
you know, boom-boom.
Boom, doom, doop!
Hey, y'all. Did y'all know
that Fishbone's back
in the old neighborhood?
You mean Fishbone's back here?
Who's Fishbone?
Well, let me put
it this way, Penny.
In wine country, they
have a plaque up to him:
"To Fishbone the wino,
with love and gratitude."
Oh, he has a drinking problem.
Uh, yeah. His problem is he
can never get enough to drink.
Hey, J.J., who told you that?
Old Campbell the cop. Told
me old' Fishbone was out
in the middle of Rush Street
with his red underwear on,
directing traffic, waiting for
his underwear to turn green.
Well, are we all packed
up and ready to go?
Yeah, and don't forget
you all are having dinner
with the Ebony Prince today.
J.J., maybe you know.
How come they name
football teams after animals?
Because nobody
would wanna go see
the Chicago Lilacs
play the Detroit Petunias.
Whoo!
Fishbone, you old sea dog!
Where you been?
What you been doing?
Working, working, boy.
Yes, yes. Come in here.
I got... I got a
regular job now.
How long you been
working steady?
What time is it?
Ten o'clock.
One hour. Sixty minutes, yes.
Yeah... I'm delivering
free samples.
Oh, yeah? Well, come on
in and deliver. Yeah, yeah.
I was working for... I was
delivering mouthwash...
Outfit yesterday, but you know,
that only lasted a couple hours,
and then... well, I got fired.
Fishbone, why did you get fired?
Well, I... Well, I found
out that the mouthwash
contained two-percent alcohol.
Whoo!
I never felt so bad and
smelled so good in all my life!
Um, Fishbone, what
you giving away now?
Well, it's something
new here. It's called, uh...
Soup-in-a-Sack. Here you go.
All you do is add
alcohol. I mean water.
Yeah. It's foolproof.
Oh, we need something
better than that.
We need something
that's Thelma-proof.
Penny, why don't you and Gramps
go make some hot chocolate.
'Kay?
Fishbone, what you doing?
Girl, I'm loading you
folks up with soup,
because it's good for
you, I like you, it's free,
and I'm too tired to
knock on any more doors.
Fishbone, now, come
on, you can't fool us.
We've been knowing you too long.
What is the matter?
Well, well... I had a
birthday the other day.
Oh, that's it! Happy
birthday! Aw, happy birthday!
Yeah, we didn't know that.
Yeah, well, didn't
nobody else know either.
I even sent myself a
card, and it never arrived.
You know, it made me
realize, I've lived half my life,
and I don't have a
friend in the world.
That's ridiculous.
That's right. You're a bon
vivant, the man about town,
a connoisseur of the grape.
Yeah, and if nobody
remembers you on my birthday,
how they gonna remember
you when you're gone?
Oh, come on, now. Who
could ever forget you?
Now, Bookman likes you.
He lets you sleep down by
the furnace when it's cold.
Oh, yeah, but even he forgot
to say those three little words:
"Happy. Birth. Day."
I tell you, it is a terrible
world without friends.
Oh, come on now, Fishbone.
Now, you have some friends.
Yeah, what about
Ray the bartender?
Him?
I give him all my business,
and what does he do?
Turns right around, makes
me wash dishes all week.
And all... And all over nothing.
I don't think throwing a bottle
through the front
window is nothing.
Well, did you ever wake
up in the middle of the night
and find yourself
locked up in a bar?
I had to throw that
bottle to get out of there.
I was late for a meeting
with my colleagues
at Alcoholics Am-no-nomonous.
You know we are your friends.
In fact, you are practically
like one of the family.
That's right. Too bad you wasn't over here
a little earlier, for breakfast with us.
Well, you mean y'all
would think enough of me
to invite me over for
a hot-cooked meal?
Any time.
Well, in that case, I'll be
over here tonight for dinner.
Oh, wait, wait, uh, Fishbone.
You see, tonight would
not be the best night.
Not a good night, because we
were getting ready to go out...
Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, y'all busy.
Okay, well, I can understand.
I don't like a lot of
people around me no way.
You know, I'm used to
being alone. I can understand.
Yeah, some other
time. Okay, Fishbone?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Some other time.
Hope you understand.
Oh, of course.
Sure, I understand.
Well... Well, we blew that one.
Yeah, poor Fishbone. He's
feeling sorry for himself again
because he has no friends.
He's got friends:
the Ripple Brothers...
Paul Masson...
Manischewitz.
You know, maybe we should've
changed our plans a little
and come back here for dinner.
You really think so, Willona?
Good friends would have.
Hoo!
Hey, Raymond... Yes.
Another round for me
and my partner. I'm buying.
Of course.
Oh, thank you, stranger.
Don't think nothing of it.
Ooh!
You know... Huh? Make it quick.
You been so nice to me,
I'm gonna give
you a little stock tip.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Shh.
See, my broker is E.F. Hutton.
And E.F. Hutton says...
How 'bout that. Nobody
even looked around!
Fishbone, would
you do me a favor?
What is it?
I gotta go in the
back for a minute.
Would you keep an
eye on the place for me?
Yeah, sure, man. Good.
And, uh, to show
you where my heart is,
the house is buying
the next round.
All right.
You know, your friend
sure is a nice guy.
Well, he's all right.
But if he was such
a friend of ours,
he would've give
us something good,
instead of this
rotgut we're drinking.
Whoo! Lord, have mercy...
Look here, partner.
Watch the store.
I got to go to the sandbox.
Okay.
♪ Whew, straighten
up and fly right ♪
♪ Straighten up
And stay right, yeah ♪
Mmm, well...
J.J., it doesn't look
like he's in here.
Oh, wow, that's weird.
I thought for sure he'd be
in here drinking his lunch.
Oh, man, just to think
I gave up a date with
Boom-Boom Belinda for this.
Hey, Ray!
Uh, by any chance, you
happen to see Fishbone?
He was here just a minute ago.
Well, we have to find him
because J.J. has an extra ticket
for the Bears game, and
we wanna take him with us.
Yeah, sort of like a
belated birthday present.
Well, he's gotta be
around here somewhere.
You know, Fishbone
would not leave
unless he had too
many for the road.
Hey, check this out!
What's going on?
Hey, there's an accident!
Somebody's hurt real bad.
Coming through. Coming through.
Hey, Ray, gotta use your
phone. Gotta call the precinct.
I'm calling an
ambulance right now.
Forget it.
That old geezer out
there got nailed by a truck.
He ain't gonna use an
ambulance or nothing else.
He got killed?
You see this wallet here?
Well, he's flatter than this.
Yeah.
Officer Campbell calling.
We've got a traffic fatality
down here at 2526 Duquesne.
Yeah.
Ah, the victim's name is,
uh, Theodosius P. Johnson.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, I'll be here.
Theodosius P. Johnson.
Does anybody know who that is?
We all know who he is.
But we call him Fishbone.
Fishbone?
Fishbone was killed?
Oh, wow. Coming through.
I don't believe that.
J.J., that's horrible!
Oh, wow.
And just this morning
he was saying,
if nobody remembered
his birthday,
nobody would remember
him when he was gone.
And now poor Fishbone's dead.
Oh, that's terrible.
Well, I... Well, I'm dead.
Ain't no use to worry
about it no more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, here's to me.
May I rest in peace.
Whoo!
Mama. Hmm?
If Fishbone's in heaven,
do you think they made
him an angel by now?
I hope so, honey.
Just in case, I'm gonna
God-bless him tonight.
Well is he is in heaven,
I hope they don't arrest
him for drunken flying.
I wish we could all just
stop talking about all this,
because I am
depressed as I can be.
Hi, folks.
Correction. I just got
even more depressed.
Booger, what you got in
the suitcase, your lunch?
No, I found this down
in the furnace room,
where old Fishbone
used to sleep.
I guess it belonged to him.
Oh, wow, Fishbone's estate.
Wow. Maybe we'll find out
a little bit more
about Fishbone now.
What's all this stuff?
This sure is a
wrinkled, old picture.
Oh, look at this
nice old couple.
Maybe they were close
friends of Fishbone's.
Look. Let me see that.
Yeah, they were close
to Fishbone, all right.
This is Ernest and Julio Gallo.
Oh, wow. Check
out this foxy mama.
Sweet brown sugar.
She's beautiful. I
wonder who she is.
Probably the lady
in Fishbone's life.
Oh, how romantic.
She probably drove him to drink.
You got it, Thelma.
It's his sister.
This might be
important. It's a clipping.
About a baseball player
named Rabbit Johnson,
who was third baseman
in the Negro League.
You mean Fishbone
was an athlete?
We don't know that.
There's a lot of folks
named Johnson.
Anyway, the date on
this clipping is 1946.
That's just a year before Jackie
Robinson joined the Dodgers.
Wow, Mama, that's ancient.
You can remember way back then?
I just, uh, happened
to read it yesterday.
What's gonna happen
to Fishbone now?
They'll probably bury him
in some unmarked
grave somewhere.
Well, then he was right.
Nobody will remember him.
No, Michael, he was wrong.
We will remember him.
But how, J.J.?
Funerals are expensive.
Wait a minute, now. Take
it easy. If we all chip in,
we could handle one of
Ferguson's no-frills funerals.
No-frills funerals?
You know what that's like.
No flowers, no organ,
no chapel... no coffin.
They just put you in
a brown paper sack
and mail you to Cleveland.
Well, we ain't gonna have
no paper bag for Fishbone.
We gonna do this thing up right
so he'll always be remembered...
Hey, I got it. I got it!
A down-home wake!
A wake! That's a great idea!
J.J... I got here
as soon as I heard.
Oh, Wanda, that's so
nice of you to come.
I wouldn't miss it for
the world. Poor Harry!
Fishbone, Wanda. Fishbone.
Well, whoever.
Oh, Wanda, what lovely roses.
Oh, these are beautiful.
And what an appropriate
message. Success.
Well, if you don't mind,
honey, I want to use 'em again.
I'm going to another funeral.
Hey, what you got
there? I'll take that.
Some more of
Fishbone's belongings?
No, that's Fishbone.
Since it's his wake, Ferguson
figured he ought to be here.
Yeah, I guess Fishbone
would have liked it like that.
Say, blood My name is Lenny
And if I ain't got
it There ain't any
Though we came here To weep
I got something You can keep
Now, it ain't a horse
And it ain't a rhino.
It's just a memento
To Fishbone the wino.
Okay, everybody, let's
get the ceremony started.
Come on. Sit down, everybody.
Fill the back rows up there.
Everybody sit down.
Let's get on with it.
Okay, now. Here we go.
I wonder who she is?
Oh! I knew there was a
woman in Fishbone's life.
Oh...
Oh, and she must have
loved him so very much.
Ah... brothers and sisters...
Uh, later, Wanda. Later.
Oh.
Brothers and sisters, I have
prepared a few extemporary words
for this occasion that I thought
would not hold us here very long,
which would come to a
conclusion of the situation.
Brothers and sisters,
we are gathered here
because of our dear friend,
and through the courtesy
of Ray the bartender.
All right.
And we are here to pay tribute
to our dear friend and comrade,
Fishbone.
We are here to
pay tribute to a man
who left a special mark in
our hearts and in our souls.
I didn't know Harry did that.
Fishbone. Fishbone.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, later, Wanda. Later.
You see, Fishbone was a
modest and humble man.
Humble man.
He never spoke of himself.
But when he passed
beyond the reef,
we were able to puzzle
together a few parts of his life.
Yeah! All right. Yes we did!
Poor Fishbone
was born too soon...
and died too soon.
Now, Wanda!
Cool it, mama!
I'm working this wake.
And then there was the
woman in Fishbone's life.
Yeah... Yes, the
woman. Mmmm-hmmm...
Yes. A love affair
that was unrivaled
in passion and fervor.
That's right! One that rivaled
that of Caesar and Cleopatra.
Anthony and Cleopatra!
Leroy and Cleopatra!
Leroy?
And, brothers and
sisters, weep as you may,
because at the end, Fishbone
did not die a happy man.
No, he didn't. Because
we have a problem.
What we do is when somebody
is down here in the green pasture,
we do not tell them
how much we love them.
We wait for them to go
up to the heavenly gates
before we sing their praises.
And brothers and sisters,
let me tell you something.
This is your fault!
Oh, Harry, I'm sorry!
Fishbone! Fishbone!
Fishbone, I'm
sorry! Well, whoever.
And also it is my fault.
That's right, it is my fault.
Because we must tell someone
when they are down here
how much we love them,
how much we need them.
Now if we knew that we
were going to die the next day,
we would go immediately to the
telephone and call our loved ones.
Which reminds me of a story.
Suppose we were to get
to the telephone booth,
and find out we did
not have a dime?!
We would be up the telephone
booth without a paddle.
That's right!
So, Fishbone, we want to say,
in conclusion, that we miss you.
We miss you!
We need you. We need you!
We love you. We love you!
And I hope you can
hear us, Fishbone.
I hope you can hear
us now, Fishbone.
Hear me good, Fishbone!
Oww!
Yes!
What is this?
Fishbone!
He's alive! He's alive!
Wait a minute. Wait one minute.
How dare you be alive!
Does that mean we
can't go to the cemetery?
I closed my place
down for nothing!
You know I got a good
mind to lock you up
for impersonating a corpse!
Yeah, Fishbone, you
owe us an explanation.
How could you play on our
emotions like this, Fishbone?
You can't play
with us like that!
Hold it, hold it. Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Hold it. Hold it.
Now, just back off, everybody.
Now, what is this
all about, anyway?
Love, right?
That's what J.J. just got
through preaching about,
telling people that you
love 'em before it's too late.
So tell me!
I was good enough
for you when I'm dead.
Now I'm alive. I'm here.
So tell me you love me!
Tell me! Tell me you love me.
Love you, Fishbone.
♪ I hear one little
voice In the wind ♪
♪ I hear one little
voice In the wind ♪
♪ Can I get another? ♪
Yes, I'm a witness. I love you!
Yes, can I hear another?
Can I get another?
I love you, Fishbone!
Clap your hands, everybody!
♪ Fishbone, we love you!
Fishbone, we love you! ♪
♪ Fishbone, we love you!
Fishbone, we love you! ♪
♪ Fishbone, we love you! ♪
Yes, and Fishbone
loves you, too!
♪ Fishbone, we love you ♪
Woo-hoo!
♪ Fishbone, we love you! ♪
Yes, yes!
One more time!
♪ Fishbone, we love you!
Fishbone, we love you! ♪
Fishbone! As long as you live,
don't you ever die
on us like that again.
I sure won't, Miss
Malone... Miss... Waa!
I can't even say your name!
That's all right.
Love you so much, I can't
say your name. I know.
You know, 'cause a man
gets a funeral like this
only once in a lifetime.
Fishbone, we love you!
Fishbone, we love you!
♪ Just looking out
Of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinking how it all
looks Hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit rip-offs
Good times... ♪
Good Times is videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
♪ Good times ♪