Good Times (1974–1979): Season 4, Episode 9 - Grandpa's Visit - full transcript

Florida and the children are looking forward to James' father's visit. He arrives with a loud-talking woman, and he is not acting like a grandfather typically acts.

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime You meet a payment ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime You feel free ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime you're
Out from under ♪

♪ Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled ♪

♪ Keeping your
head Above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪



♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪c

♪ Scratching And surviving ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Hanging in A chow line ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪♪

[INDISTINCT ARGUING]

I'm not lending you
nothing again. That's it.

I mean it. Why not?

Why not?

Because when I
lent you this radio,

it had brand new
batteries in it, that's why,



and they're run
down now, that's why.

Hey, don't blame me.

Blame my new
girlfriend, Lulu the Zulu.

She loves to dance.

[CACKLES]

You mean you going out

with big, old, fat Lulu Gordon?

Hey, hey.

Thelma, she ain't fat.

She's just a whole lot of woman.

Yeah, about three of them.

Hey, Thelma,

you got some nerve
talking about looks.

I saw that dude who
you was out with last night

with the brown paper
bag over his head.

Where'd you find him at,

the Ugly Hearts Club of America?

Yeah, well, you
just can't talk, buddy.

You know, if you lined up

all the dates you had this year,

you know what you got?

An ad for Wild
Kingdom, that's what.

All right, all right, you two.

That's enough of that.

Now, I happened to
see both of your dates,

and I'm glad you
went out with them.

After all, somebody had to.

Mom.

I'm only kidding.

But listen,

if you all want to eat tomorrow,

you'd better help me tonight.

Now, J.J., you
get out the platters,

and, Thelma, check on the pies.

Okay, Ma.

And children, I don't
want any more hassling.

Let's make this

the nicest Thanksgiving
your grandfather ever had.

Hey, Ma, you know,
it's getting kind of late.

Shouldn't Grandpa
be here by now?

Well, now, you know that

it's a pretty long bus
ride from New Orleans,

and those buses
are never on time.

Hey, J.J.

Hey, Ma, call a doctor.

Michael's got rabies.

Hey, J.J., where's your razor?

Michael, what are you doing

with all that stuff
on your face?

I'm shaving. I want to look
good for when Grandpa comes.

Michael, you don't have a beard.

Hey, that's not what
Eleanor Wilson said.

She said I gave her cheek burn.

And just how did you
give her cheek burn?

Now, that's a secret
between me and Joe Namath.

Get out of here.

Ma, he's growing up.

I just hope Eleanor
Wilson isn't.

Hey, Michael, my razor's
in the medicine cabinet,

behind my Hi Karate
and my Clearasil.

Hey, Ma, have you figured out

a place where
Grandpa's going to sleep?

I mean, we don't have...

Have no fear, Mother, dear.

I got it all worked out.

Grandpa and Michael

will sleep out here
on the sofa bed,

you and Thelma will
sleep in Thelma's room,

and I will sleep in your room.

That's the one and
only possible solution.

Nope.

Plan B.

Grandpa and Michael
will sleep in Thelma's room.

You and Thelma
will lounge out here

in the luxurial splendor
of the sofa bed,

and I will suffer in
abjectivity in your room.

No way.

How about we all
check into a motel?

How about Thelma
and I will share my room,

Grandpa will have Thelma's room,

and you and Michael

can lounge in the splendor

of the abjectivity
of the sofa bed.

All right.

Hey, Ma, just once I'd
like to sleep in a place

where I don't have to
look at the refrigerator.

Well, that's easy.

Sleep in the bathroom.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Oh, that must be Granddad.
Oh, that's Grandpa!

Come on, this is it.

Finally.

Hi.

Ah, it's only Willona.

And to think, I changed
that Negro's first diaper.

J.J., aren't you
going to help her?

Ah, all right, Ma.

Here.

J.J...

Okay.

Sorry, Willona.

All right. Go on.

Hey, is that Grandpa?

WILLONA: Hi.

Oh, it's just you, Willona.

You know, I wish you kids
wouldn't make such a big fuss

every time I come in.

I want everything to be

just nice for James' father.

Thanks for bringing
all these things over.

Oh, think nothing of it.

You know,

most of my neighbors
borrow a cup of coffee.

You borrow half the house.

I'll get all these
things back to you

as soon as I can.

Oh, no hurry, honey.

Cooking utensils get about

as much use in my apartment

as a wife at a
Shriners convention.

Ooh.

You don't see
anything different?

No. Why?

I just finished shaving.

Oh, smooth, baby.

Smooth.

Hey, everybody,
the pies are done.

Oh, Thelma, they look delicious.

Oh, fantastic.

Hey, I got to split.

Oh, what time is
dinner tomorrow?

Well, now, wait a minute.
The kids have to go

to a high school
football game at noon.

Let me see. I'd say
around about 4:00.

Good. And don't forget,

I am making the mincemeat pie.

Ooh, I thought you didn't cook.

Only one thing. My
specialty, apple pie.

Apple?

You said mincemeat.

It starts off apple,
ends up mincemeat.

I think it's time we checked on

the contenders for
tomorrow's main event.

In this corner, weighing
18 pounds, four ounces,

the champion, from
a barnyard in Illinois,

let's present Kid Gobbler.

[CHEERS]

Hey, and in this corner,

weighing three pounds
less than a turkey,

and with half as much sense,

the challenger, Muhammad Evans.

Boo!

[IMITATES MUHAMMAD
ALI] Well, you all

better listen to Muhammad,
because this ain't no jive.

If that dinner starts at 4:00,
that turkey be finished by 5:00.

J.J., will you stop
this nonsense

and leave my turkey alone.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

ALL: Grandpa!

Look out! What
we've been waiting for.

Look out!

Thelma.

Grandpa.

Hey, how you doing, Grandpa?

Michael.

A-ha, ha!

J.J.

There's nothing like

the greeting you
get from your family...

Florida!

Oh, Henry, it's so
nice to have you here.

Oh, it's been too long, Florida.

How have you been?

Oh, we're all been
fine, Henry, just fine.

I can see that.

Oh, Henry.

I miss him so much.

Yes, I know.

Oh, hey, kids,

come here and
let me look at you.

My grandchildren.

I don't know which one of
you are the better looking.

I do.

Hey, Grandpa,
are you still working

on that same ship as a cook?

Oh, no, no. Not
anymore, Michael.

The day I turned 65,
they made me retire.

Oh, well, that's great, Henry.

Hard as you've worked,
you deserve the rest.

Look, I don't need no rest.

I'm just 65.

I ain't cooked my
best omelet yet.

Oh, now, come on, Grandpa,

you got to admit,
you're no spring chicken.

Yeah, and I ain't no
dead rooster either.

Well, look, Henry, if
you just want to work,

I'm sure there are lots
of jobs for a good cook.

Oh, I got a job slinging hash
a couple days in New Orleans,

but it ain't like
cooking on a ship.

It's better.

At least this way, if you
don't cook a good meal,

they won't make
you walk the plank.

Well, now, I didn't
think of that, J.J.

Did I tell you kids
about the time

that my ship was cut adrift,

and for 10 days, all I
had left in the galley

was two loaves of bread
and a can of sardines?

No, Grandpa. What happened?

You're looking at
the only man alive

that catered a mutiny.

Now, that's a tall tale
if I ever heard one.

Next you'll tell us
you were marooned.

Yeah, yeah.

Three months on a desert island.

Henry... With a big TV. star.

Henry! Flipper. Got you.

Michael, why don't
you help Grandpa

get settled into his room?

Sure, Ma.

And Henry, don't be
filling Michael's head

with any more of that nonsense.

Oh, no. I won't, Florida.

Hey, Michael... Yeah?

Did I tell you about the time I
had the date with a mermaid?

A mermaid.

That man will never change.

I sure hope not.

Wow, a date with a mermaid.

Some guys have all the luck.

Oh, J.J.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

I'll get it, Ma.

Hi.

Oh, I'm sorry I'm late,

but I just had to stop
off to see my sister.

Do we know you?

I'm Lena.

Lena.

I'm sorry, but that
name just doesn't...

Well, ain't Tiger
Evans staying here?

Tiger Evans?

LENA: Yes.

[LAUGHS]

Tiger Evans.

That must be me.

Well, now, I got nothing
against younger men,

but let's be reasonable.

Is Henry Evans here?

Oh, you mean Grandpa.

Lena!

Oh, Tiger!

Thelma, you're looking at
the only tiger on Medicare.

Florida.

Lena, I want you
to meet my family.

That's Florida.

Hello.

That's Thelma, that's J.J.,

and that is Michael.

Ooh, Henry's told me
so much about you.

I feel like I'm part
of the family already.

Oh, that's nice.

Lena came up with
me from New Orleans.

She has relatives here.

Yeah, did you have a nice visit

with your sister?

Oh, yes, and she
sent her best to you.

Henry, dear, I'd like to unpack.

Where is our room?

HENRY: Oh, right in there.

Oh, if you'll excuse me.

FLORIDA: Oh, sure. Sure.

Henry, you old rascal.

Why didn't you
tell us about Lena?

I wanted to surprise you.

Well, it was

the most wonderful
surprise I ever had.

When did you all get married?

Oh, we ain't married.

[SLAMS CUPBOARD]

Ma, if you're not more careful,

you're going to wake up Grandpa.

Good.

[RATTLES DISHES]

Oh, my word.

What happened, Ma?

Oh, this stuffing recipe
calls for an egg yolk,

and I just put the whole egg in.

Hey, what's the big deal?

Who's going to know?

I ain't going to tell,

you ain't going to tell,

and the turkey definitely
ain't going to tell.

I thought I told
you to set the table.

But I already did, Ma.

Yeah, Ma, we set an extra place

for Grandpa's girlfriend.

[SIGHS]

We're never going to eat tonight

if you all don't get
out of my kitchen.

Now, stop bothering me.

But, Ma, all she said
was, "Grandpa's girlfriend."

Oh, doggone it.

What's the matter, Ma? You
just put another egg in there.

I know what I did.

Now, leave me alone.

Ma, I mean, you're really upset.

Maybe we should sit
down and talk about it.

Talk about what?

Open that oven door.

About Grandpa's...
Don't say that!

Not while she's got
the turkey in her hand.

Ma, Lena and Grandpa
staying together

has really gotten to you, huh?

You're darn right it has.

They are not married.

But, Ma, they're old.

Maybe they got
married and they forgot.

J.J.

Happy Thanksgiving, you all.

FLORIDA: Hi, Willona.

Uh, Flo, about
that mincemeat pie

I promised you.

It ain't here.

Where is it?

All over my oven.

Oh, Willona.

Well, I made a Jell-O mold.

I'll put it over there
on the counter.

Maybe I should
just throw it away

before the kids eat it, huh?

I missed Henry last night.

How's he doing?

A whole lot better
than I'm doing.

What's going on here?

Hey, is something
wrong with Henry?

Nothing that a cold
shower couldn't cure.

Let's just say

that Henry didn't
arrive unescorted.

Ooh, Lord have mercy.

Flo! Flo, you mean to tell me

Henry's staying there
with a woman? Mm-hmm.

Lord, let's hear it
for modern medicine.

Hi, everybody. WILLONA: Hi.

Now, this not a topic

to be discussed
in front of Michael.

Hey, is Grandpa up yet?

Not yet, Michael.

Let the man sleep, honey.

Willona... This is
nothing to joke about.

Oh, Ma, come on, now.

They're just traveling
companions, that's all.

Now, what else could
they be at that age?

Good morning, everybody.

Willona.

Henry, honey, how you doing?

How you doing? How you been?

I'm fine. You?

Oh, I'm just fine, just fine.

I slept like a log.

Only, I'm starving.

I could eat four eggs.

Hey, Ma,

that's what Daddy used
to say in the morning.

Michael.

LENA: Morning, y'all.

Ooh, Thelma, that bed of yours

sleeps like a cloud,

and I'm so hungry, I
could eat four eggs.

Hmm.

First he wants four eggs,
now she wants four eggs.

What we got going
here, Chicken Delight?

Henry, I let you out of my sight

for one minute,

and there you are
hugging a pretty woman.

Well, that's better than
hugging an ugly one.

Willona Woods, Lena Anderson.

Hi, Lena. We were
just saying hello.

Well, you watch
out for him, Willona,

because that's one old dog

don't need to
learn no new tricks.

Not as long as I can
remember the old ones,

if you know what I mean.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES MOCKINGLY]

I know what you mean,

and I think you
got a lot of nerve

staying here when
you... When she's...

Well, when both of
you are... Shacking up.

Florida, we didn't know you
were gonna take it like this.

Hey, obviously,
you don't know Ma.

She wouldn't let us
read Snow White,

because the chick was
living with seven dudes.

J.J.

Now, that's not true.

Florida...

Please understand.

Why, Henry and I love
each other very much.

Then why don't you get married?

Because we can't afford to.

She's right, Florida.

If we got married,
we wouldn't have

our combined
social security check

to live on.

I'd lose part of mine,

and she'd lose even
a bigger part of hers.

You mean the government
penalizes senior citizens

for getting married?

Yeah, but we get around it.

By living together.

Well, different
strokes for older folks.

Well, I'm sorry, Henry, but
it's still wrong in my book.

Flo, I don't know what
you're so mad about.

What could two 60-year-olds

do in a room together?

Well, the same as
two 30-year-olds.

A lot of people
think that sex ends

just because a person is old.

You know, wine
ain't the only thing

that gets better with age.

Have mercy!

Henry and Lena, I have
children in this house.

What kind of impression

do you think you're
making on them?

Personally, I'm impressed.

Come on, Ma. Now, it's
nothing we haven't heard before.

Yeah, and plus the
government is making them do it.

They just got to do something

about them social security laws.

Believe me, Henry,

I understand what you're saying,

but right is right,
and wrong is wrong.

At least that's the way
we were all brought up.

Look, Florida,

it can get mighty
lonesome when you are old.

Now, I found
somebody I could talk to,

somebody that I could
walk in the park with,

somebody who cares

and will share the days
of the week with me.

I love this lady, and
that can't be wrong.

Doesn't anybody see what I mean?

ALL: No.

Willona?

Who, me?

Oh, well, um,

that is a very difficult
question, Flo. Come here.

Now, look, I know you.

Right.

I know got you a point. Right.

But I also know Henry,
and he got a point too.

Now, you know I'm
not the kind of person

to just run out on an
important issue like this.

That's right. So I'm
going to say later.

Willona.

You kids are going to be
late for your football game.

Oh, yeah, Ma's right.

Yeah, right. Let's
go, Michael. Come on.

Come on, let's go now.

Hey, Ma, what about the...

Michael, just run along.

We can take care
of this by ourselves.

Right, right, right. And
listen, don't be late for dinner.

ALL: Okay, Ma.

FLORIDA: Okay.

Florida, I didn't
want to say this

in front of the kids, but I
think we'd better leave.

Henry's right.

We've got plenty of time

to catch that evening
bus to New Orleans.

But, Henry... It's
the only way, Florida.

Come on, dear, let's pack.

You will stay for
dinner? Oh, Florida,

it will just make
everybody uncomfortable.

Now, you will speak
to the kids, Florida?

Oh, please, please.

I didn't mean to ruin
Thanksgiving for anybody.

Well, nobody meant to.

Yep, here it comes.

Oh, girl, what a feast this is.

This is beautiful, girl.

We won, we won!

Congratulations,
congratulations.

That's nice.

Well, sit down, everybody,

before the dinner gets cold.

Ma, you don't understand.

We haven't beaten Grant
High in over 12 years.

Then how come you beat them now?

Because they rezoned
the school district,

and now Grant High
School is all white.

Oh, dirty pool.

Dirty pool.

Hey, wait a minute.

Where's Grandpa and Lena at?

Yeah.

Uh...

They decided not to stay.

What?

THELMA: Why not?

Well, I couldn't talk
them into it, honey,

but maybe it's better this way.

They were going to take
the 5:30 bus back home.

But, Ma, they just got here.

Look at it this way, Michael.

It wasn't a short visit,
it was a long rest stop.

I'm sorry, kids, but we just

didn't see things the same way.

Now, come on,
everybody, sit down.

Let's enjoy the dinner.

That's right, Flo.

I like white meat, dark meat,

the back, and the breast.

Only two parts of
this bird I will not eat.

What's that?

The beak and the butt.

Now, come on, kids, sit down.

Look, kids, this
is Thanksgiving.

Now, hear this,

because I'm only
going to say it once.

I want you all to sit
down. Sit down now,

and let's have a nice
warm family dinner.

J.J., say the blessing.

Thank you for the food
we are about to receive,

and bless Lena and Grandpa,

even though they
have an hour to go

before their bus leaves.

Just the blessing.

And thank you for giving us

this beautiful
table to sit around,

even though Lena and Grandpa

are down at the bus depot
eating cold sandwiches.

Amen.

Come on, everybody.
Dig in, dig in.

Pass those greens, honey.

Don't forget to
take some of the...

I ain't going to forget nothing.

May I be excused?
You haven't eaten yet.

I ate too much at the
game. I'll walk it off.

Wait a minute, Michael.

That's all right. I'll
go with him. Thelma.

That's right, I don't want
to help them lose anything.

Come on, y'all. Let's
go. WILLONA: Hey...

Flo, you didn't
tell those children

they had to eat
my Jell-O, did you?

Tell me something, Willona,

about Lena and Henry.

Was I wrong or was I right?

It wasn't a matter

of who's right or who's wrong.

It was the way you feel.

Well, that's just what I said.

How I feel.

You're right.

I think I did the proper thing.

You're right.

And it wasn't worth it.

You're damn right.

Stay here. I'll be right back.

Keep the stuff warm.

I'll be back.

Well, this is just like every
other Thursday night...

Me and a turkey.

MAN [OVER PA]:
The bus for Kansas City

is now ready for departure.

This is the last
call for Kansas City.

What you doing?

We're going to be on
that bus for 23 hours,

so I got this.

Well, what is it?

Looks like a lifesaver.

It is. It is.

Hey, there they are.

THELMA: Grandpa. Lena.

Hey, what are you
children doing here?

Hey, Grandpa.

We couldn't go without
saying goodbye first.

Oh, Michael.

Hey, Grandpa, I hope
you're not mad at Ma.

No, we're not, J.J.

Well, you got to understand.

Ma can be a little
stubborn sometimes.

And sometimes she
can be a darn fool.

This is true, you
know... THELMA: Ma!

What are you all doing
in this old bus station?

Ma, we had to see
Grandpa before he left.

Well, you're going
to see a lot of him,

because I've got a
big Thanksgiving dinner

just waiting for us.

Now, Florida, we
went through all this...

Henry, Lena, it's your life.

You live it, not me.

Now, your room is waiting,

and I hope you're both
going to stay with us

for awhile.

Oh, thank you, Florida.

Don't thank me.

We're all family.

Well, family, let's get
out of here and go eat.

Right. Come on.

Well, Thelma, get the bags.

J.J.

Hey, Ma, now that you
relaxed the rules about the room,

you know, I got a
couple of chicks that...

Sorry, J.J.

That rule is reserved

for people on social security.

I'm so glad you decided to stay.

MAN [OVER PA]: The bus for
New Orleans is leaving in 10 minutes.

Bus to New Orleans...

♪ Mmm... ♪

♪ Just looking
Out of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinking how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Keeping your
head Above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is
videotaped in front of a studio audience.

♪ Good Times ♪♪