Good Times (1974–1979): Season 3, Episode 7 - The Baby - full transcript

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♪ Good times ♪♪

Hey.

Do y'all realize
what time it is?

There's only 15 minutes left

till the start of
the baby shower,

and we ain't nearly ready.

Now, come on.
Let's get a move on.

Michael, you set
the table... Aw, J.J.

Thelma, you finish
wrapping the presents,

and Ma...

Yes, J.J.?

Uh, you're doing a
great job. Keep it up.

Since when did you start

giving orders around here?



Well, Dad's out of town working

for a few days, right?

Well, when James
Evans, Sr. Ain't here,

it's up to James Evans, Jr.

To fill his shoes.

Fill his shoes?

You look like his shoes.

You're built like
a pair of laces,

and your tongue
is always flapping.

That's it, Thelma. You're out.

You're disinherited.

You ain't getting
nothing out of my will.

You ain't getting nothing.

What will?

The only thing you own
is a few little clothes,

and you're gonna
have to leave that

to a scarecrow.

Oh, be quiet, prune face.

Look here, Michael. Good news.

You are getting the
bulk of my estate.

J.J., if I have to wear
your clothes, man,

I plan on dying before you do.

Ma, you see them
picking on me here?

Well, if you're gonna
strut around like a peacock,

you've got to expect

some of your feathers
to get stomped on.

I guess I have to write
something on this cake.

It's Loretta's third child.

What would be nice?

How about, "Congratulations

on the birth of
your third child."

Yeah.

"May this one bring you

"as much happiness and joy

"as your first girl
and your first boy...

"and if it happens to be a boy,

may it be strong and..."

J.J., you expect
me to get all that

on this cake?

Well, try, Ma.

The more icing,
the better I like it.

I'll just make it
nice and simple.

"To a lovely baby."

And it will be.

It's too bad Loretta's husband
won't be around to see it.

It's hard to believe

Mr. Simpson passed
away just a few months ago.

Mama, when's the baby due?

Well, Loretta says
in four or five weeks,

but the only one
who really knows

is the baby.

They have a built-in timer.

Were we on time, Mama?

You and Thelma were,

but as usual, J.J. was late.

Well, could I help it
if my watch stopped?

Hi.

Hi, Willona.

How's everything coming?

Oh, just fine. Just fine.

What did you get for the baby?

Oh, girl, it wasn't
easy deciding.

They got some way-out
toys in the stores now.

They got a doll
that cries real tears,

they got a doll that grows hair,

and they even got a
doll that has babies.

Babies?

That's right, and she
keeps on having them

till you buy these
little toy pills.

Hey, Loretta should
have been here by now,

shouldn't she?

Yeah.

She probably got held
up at the welfare office.

Ooh, yeah, child.

I took one of my friends
down there last week,

and there was this chick
sitting behind the desk

with this nasal
congestion, and she said,

"Madam, aren't you aware
that we have given you

a 10 percent increase
in your welfare benefits?"

And my friend said,
"Don't do you much good

when the cost of living
is going up 20 percent."

Then the chick
said, "Well, Madam,

"if you feel you've
been mistreated,

mail a letter of complaint
to the government."

Ooh.

The government
already figured out a way

to stop those
complaining letters.

They're raising
the price of stamps

so high you can't
afford to mail them.

Hey, is Cora and
Alice going to get here?

Yep, they should be
here any minute now.

I hope they get here
before Loretta does.

After all,

this whole thing was
supposed to be a surprise.

Mm-hmm.

You know, Flo,

this is the first baby shower

I have been to since
your kids was born.

J.J., did you know I
got you your first rattle?

No, you didn't, Willona.

J.J.'s first rattle was
the one in his head.

Well, at least I was born.

Ma and Dad found
you on a doorstep

with a note saying,
"You take her.

She's too ugly for us."

Signed, "Dr. and
Mrs. Frankenstein."

By the way, Willona,

you never did tell us
what you got for the baby.

Oh, well, I didn't like

any of those plastic
toys... Mm-hmm.

So I got her

one of those old fashioned,
cuddly teddy bears.

Oh, that's adorable.
Look at that, Thelma.

Hey, Ma, when I was a
baby, I had one of those things.

Whatever happened to it?

Like everything else, J.J.,

it was passed on to Thelma

and then passed on to Michael.

Yeah, but by the time
it was passed on to me,

it was bald.

Get the door, honey.

Okay, Ma.

Thelma, how about coffee?

Hi.

Hi there, Michael.

Hi, how are you? Hi.

Welcome.

We're sorry we're late.

Oh, that's all right.

Loretta will be here any minute,

so I want you two to sit down

and make yourselves comfortable.

I love baby showers.

Especially when
they ain't for me.

Cora, what you talking about?

You already have

seven beautiful
children yourself.

Yeah, and they
like to wore me out.

I carried seven kids
for nine months each,

and all my husband carried
was a handful of cigars.

Mm-hmm.

I was pregnant so much,

I didn't see my feet

for the first seven
years of our marriage.

Oh, that must be Loretta.

Y'all come on, and be quiet.

Surprise!

Surprise.

Hey, baby.

I bet you didn't know...

Well, what's going on?

What's going on?

A baby shower, that's what.

A baby shower?

Yeah. Come on. Sit
down and take it easy.

You and that little...

I mean, big bundle of happiness.

Oh, Florida,

if I'd known you
were going to do this,

I never would have come here.

Oh, don't be silly.

We all love you, right?

Right. Right.

But, uh... you don't understand.

Oh, honey, you look tired.

Those dudes down at the
welfare gave you a hard time today,

didn't they? Not really.

What bothered me mostly
was when Fred was alive,

we never even went
within smelling distance

of the welfare.

Oh, honey, you're gonna
just have to get used to it.

I stand in line at
the welfare office.

I stand in line to
use my food stamps.

I stand in line at the
unemployment office.

You know, sometimes
I get the uneasy feeling

that when my time comes,

they're gonna bury
me standing up.

Mama, can we give
Loretta our gifts now?

Oh, that's a great
idea, Michael.

Florida, please, I, uh...

I can't accept any gifts.

Well, these gifts ain't for you.

They're for the baby.

And as soon as
he gets old enough

to say, "No, thank you,"

we'll take everything back.

I'll start things off
with a personal IOU

for my painting of your child

when it's six months old

and all the wrinkles are gone.

And this is from Michael and me.

Yeah. It's a blanket

for bringing the baby
home from the hospital.

Yeah, it's really pretty.

I hope you like it.

Thank you,
children, but I can't...

And my gift goes right
along with the blanket.

It's a diaper pail
full of Pampers.

I call it

the Florida Evans
Storm Warning Kit.

And I have got
you the prettiest...

What's the matter?

Look, honey, it's
just all the things

we know you're gonna need.

Come on.

But, Florida,

that's what I've
been trying to tell you.

I'm not going to need it.

What?

I'm not keeping the baby.

Loretta...

Loretta, honey,
you don't mean that.

Oh, yes, I do. No.

The baby's already
put up for an adoption,

and a good agency

is making the arrangements.

But, Loretta, honey, why?

Because I don't need
it and it don't need me.

I can't give this baby nothing.

I've got two kids I
can't take care of.

Now, don't you
understand, Florida? No.

I'm trying to give this
baby a chance it don't have

with no father and a
mother who's on welfare.

I don't need it.

Loretta, your life can change.

You've got to hang in there.

You've got to keep
on keeping on,

no matter what happens.

Sure. That's right.

Me and Eddie was
gonna quit after five kids,

but then he got a
good temporary job,

and there I was,

doing the baby cakewalk again.

Girl, you'll meet a nice man

and get married again.

Then you'll want your baby back.

Y'all talking about the
future, and I don't have one,

but this baby can have a
future once its name is changed.

Loretta, if you keep the baby,

I'll babysit free
whenever you want.

Yeah, and I can
do all your shopping

when I come home from school.

And if it's a temporary
father you need,

I'll feed the baby
whenever you say.

I'll start it off with
milk and Pablum

and after it gets
its first tooth,

nothing but Big Macs.

Oh, Loretta, we'll
always be there.

We always will.

I know you would,
but it's just not enough.

Oh... I'm, uh... I'm
giving the baby up.

No, Loretta. You say that now,

but once you hold
that baby in your arms

and look down
in his little face,

there's no way in the world

you're gonna give it up.

That's the truth.

You're right, Florida,

and that's why I
made arrangements

for the people at the hospital

to take the baby away from me

the minute it's born.

I'll never even see it,

and what you don't
see, you don't miss.

Loretta... I'm,
uh... I'm so sorry.

I... I guess I better be going.

Thank you all anyway, but I...

I can't accept

any of these beautiful gifts.

But we want you to keep them.

Sure, in case you
change your mind.

Right.

Loretta,

sometimes adoption
is the thing to do,

but you've been under
so much strain lately.

Maybe you should think about it.

Alice, I have thought it over,

and I know what I'm doing.

We'll see you, Florida.

I'll see them out, Flo.

Thanks for coming by.

You all right?

This is one baby
that sure can kick.

Are you all right?

That's another reason
to keep the baby, Loretta.

It can always become

a famous field goal kicker

for the Chicago Bears.

That's right.

Oh... Oh, I... I
think I better go.

Florida, I know you meant well,

and I'm sorry.

Loretta, you're not
going anywhere.

You're gonna stay

and have dinner with us. Right?

Yeah.

Oh, I can't. Yes, you can.

Listen, honey,

you wouldn't let us
give you a shower.

At least stay and eat.

But I'm not very hungry.

But you're just the party

of the first part.

Now, the party
of the second part

needs all the
nourishment it can get

from the party of
the first part, right?

Mm-hmm. Good.

Thelma, get your coat.

We got things to
get at the market.

Well, I'm gonna go with you,

because I want to stock up

while they got a
special on hamburger.

What special?

Well, if you find any meat

between the fat and the gristle,

they give you one free.

See you later, honey. Okay.

J.J., I want you and Michael
to make her comfortable

until we get back, huh?

Okay, Mama. We will.

I won't be long, sweetheart.

Is there anything we
can do for you, Loretta?

Oh, no, no, J.J. I'm fine.

Please don't mind me.

You boys do what you always do.

Well, okay, Loretta.

If you'll excuse me,

I got some
homework to finish up.

Of course, Michael.
You go ahead.

Okay.

J.J., what about you?

Uh, I think I'll paint a picture

of this beautiful
chick I met last night.

Without a model?

I got a memory that won't quit.

Oh.

Oh, J.J.

Oh, that little dude in there

field goal kicking again?

I don't think so,
J.J. Not this time.

J.J.,

promise you won't get
excited if I tell you something.

Me? Get excited?

Look at that.

Steady as a rock.

J.J., I think I'm going
to have the baby.

Sure you are.

We all know that.

I mean, uh... right now.

Ma!

You mean, you're
gonna have the baby

right now?

Sure feels like it's on its way.

Well, that makes two of us.

J.J., where are you going?

I'm going to yell for... help!

Hey, what's going on in here?

Michael, you remember

that sex education course

you had in school
this year? Yeah.

Well, I hope you read
ahead, because we are

getting ready to take
the final right now.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah.

Michael, what are we gonna do?

What do you mean,
what are we gonna do?

You said you was
the man of the house.

And my first decision
as the man of the house

is to make you the
man of the house.

J.J., that's because

you're the chicken of the house.

The pains are coming
about every five minutes.

Well, Michael, just
don't stand there.

Uh, go boil some water.

What? Why? For what?

I don't know. Just...

Just go boil some water, man!

J.J., you'd better
call the clinic

and get hold of a doctor.

225-3599.

Right.

Hey, Loretta,

is there anything
I can do for you?

All I need from you, Michael,
is a nice, relaxed smile.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Hello? Doc?

Look here.

I got one of your patients
here is about to have a baby.

See you at the clinic. Check?

Just do what?

Are you sure you a baby doctor?

Oh.

I dialed the wrong number.

I got the pet hospital.

J.J., are you sure?
It must have been.

They told me

to put Loretta in
a cardboard box

and let nature take its course.

I'll dial Information.

Okay, good.

J.J.! Michael!

Hey, J.J., I'm scared, man.

I wish Mama was here.

Hey, you just said
the magic word.

"Mama."

Look here. Okay.

You go out to the store
and find Mama. Good idea.

I'll stay here and
I'll watch Loretta.

Hey, but what store
did Mama go to?

I don't know.

Just come back with Mama.

Anybody's mama!

Don't worry, Loretta.
We'll get the doctor.

Never mind the doctor, J.J.

Just call this number.

A taxi will get
me to the hospital.

Right. A taxi.

They know what they're doing.

Whoo. Boy, oh, boy.

For a minute there,

I thought we was in trouble,

but we all right now.

Whoo.

Hello? Yellow Cab Company?

Look here, man,

we need one of your
vehicles right away.

Yeah.

Oh, no, we just right over
here in the projects, and...

Hello?

Hello?

They're afraid to come
into this neighborhood.

No wonder they
call their cabs yellow.

Stay cool, J.J.

Wait a minute! The police.

The police will get
you to the hospital.

They know what they're doing.

Yeah, I'll call the fuzz.

Hello, operator?

Get me the police.

This is an emergency.

Don't worry.

The cavalry's on its way.

Hello? Police?

Look here. I got a pregnant
woman here who's got to...

Yeah, my name is J.J. Evans.

Anyway, yeah, she's...
she's about to have...

Pains are coming every
three minutes, and...

Huh?

Yeah, the J.J. stands
for James Junior.

Look here, yeah,
I'm trying to...

I'm trying to explain to
you the nature of this call.

The nature of
this call is nature.

Somebody's having a baby.

You can't get any
more nature than that.

Man, I tell you, this is murder.

No, no, no, no, no!

I didn't mean that.

I didn't mean that.

They're switching
me to Homicide.

Hurry up, Mama.

Take it easy, Loretta.
We're here now.

Thank goodness you're here, Ma.

Loretta's pains

are coming every three minutes,

and mine are coming every two.

That's good, honey.

Easy. Easy. Easy.

Breathe nice and easy, Loretta.

Nice and easy.

Thattagirl.

Thelma, wet a towel
in some cold water

for her head.

Okay, Ma.

You'd better make
that two towels.

She only needs one, Willona.

I know. The other one's for me.

Don't you faint on
me now, Willona.

I'm cool.

Mama, what hospital
are we going to?

Well, I don't know

that we're going to one, honey.

Then where's Loretta
gonna have the baby?

Right here, I guess.

Here? Here.

Here? Here? Here?

Well, she can't go there.

Michael, run across the
street and get Miss Mitchell.

She's a midwife.

Okay, Mama.

Thelma, make sure there are

a lot of fresh
towels in the room.

Okay, Mama. Willona,
help me get her in the room.

Can you walk, honey?

Come on, baby.

Easy. Easy, now.

Hey, Ma, I got some
water boiling here

just like they
got in the movies.

What do you want
me to do with it?

Drop some eggs in it. I
think we'll miss dinner.

Right.

I always thought

it had something
to do with the baby.

Oh, Willona, you
don't look very good.

It's a lot better
than the way I feel.

In there.

Loretta's time
has come, all right.

Oh, Lord, Florida.

Listen, are you absolutely sure?

Willona, right now,

we are in the middle
of a baby countdown,

and that bedroom
is the launching pad.

Florida, the clinic
ain't that far away.

We can call a cab...

I already called a cab, Willona.

They ain't coming
in this neighborhood

without combat pay.

Listen, Loretta's
pains are coming

much too fast for that.

Now, calm down, everybody.

Miss Mitchell will be
here any minute now.

Ma, it's Loretta.

She wants you.

Okay, sweetheart.
I'll be right there.

Ma, Miss Mitchell's not home.

Oh, Lord!

Florida, Florida, what
are we gonna do?

Is there any question?

Come on. Come on.

Hold it. Come on.

Hold it. Hold it.

No, no.

You can't be serious, Florida.

What does either one of us know

about bringing a
baby into the world?

Lots more than the baby knows

about getting here by himself.

Now, come on.

Oh, brother.

Now what are we going to do?

I don't know. Just wait.

How long do you
think it'll take, J.J.?

Michael, I ain't
never been involved

in this kind of thing before.

Hey, J.J., why don't you stop
pacing up and down, man?

You're making me nervous.

I can't help it.
It's my first baby.

What do you think it'll be,

a boy or a girl?

Well...

I was always kind
of hoping for a son.

You know, I always dreamed

to have somebody that
I could name after me.

I could just imagine it.

J.J... and his little J.J.J.

Then what if it's a girl?

I don't care what
it is, Michael,

as long as it... hurries up!

What's the difference?

Loretta's gonna
give it away anyway.

We'll probably never
even know its name.

Wow.

In all the excitement,
I forgot about that.

Hey, we did it!

Too much! All right! Far out!

It's a boy! It's a boy!

Hey, dyn-o-mite!

Hey, Ma, is everything okay?

Oh, the baby is fine.

Loretta is fine.

Everybody's fine.

I helped deliver a baby.

I did.

I did, didn't I, Florida?

Yes, you did, Willona.

I couldn't have
done it without you.

How long was I passed out?

Just a couple of minutes,
and then you were fine.

Michael, get me Loretta's purse.

The adoption agency's
number is in there.

Come on, Michael.

Ma,

do we have to make
that call right now?

Believe me, J.J.,

I don't want to do this
any more than you do,

but Loretta made me
promise that I would.

It was the first thing she
said after the baby got here.

Yeah, Thelma was
holding the baby

and Loretta turned away
so she couldn't see it.

It's a shame.

I ain't even seen
the little fella,

and I already miss him.

Yeah, me too.

Hello?

I'd like to talk to
the one in charge

of Loretta Simpson's
adoption case.

Yes, I'll hold on.

Ma! What?

Thelma, what is it?

Oh, Ma, don't call.

What?

Loretta saw the baby,

and now she's not so sure
she wants to give him away.

You mean she's gonna keep it?

I don't know if she's
gonna keep it or not,

but she sure is
thinking about it.

Poor Loretta.

No matter which way she decides,

it ain't gonna be easy for her.

Amen to that.

Wait a minute.

Thelma,

there's something
I don't understand.

You were holding the baby,

and Loretta was doing
everything she could

not to see the baby.

How did Loretta
get to see the baby?

It was an accident, Ma.

You know, just
one of those things.

Really, now.

How did this, uh...
"accident" happen?

Uh, well, Ma,

I was holding the baby
on one side of the room

and Loretta had her
back turned to us,

and the baby started to cry,

and since I didn't know

whether Loretta
was sleeping or not,

I had to go over and check,

because I didn't want
the baby to wake her up.

Of course you didn't.

Of course she didn't.

And on my way over there,
I kind of lost my balance,

and I needed a soft
place to lay the baby down

and I found it.

It just happened to
be right next to Loretta.

And Loretta just
happened to end up

holding the baby, right?

Yeah.

I told you it was an accident.

Oh, Thelma.

Oh.

Hello?

Are you the person handling
Loretta Simpson's adoption?

You are?

Sorry. Wrong number.

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em? ♪♪