Good Times (1974–1979): Season 3, Episode 21 - J.J. in Trouble - full transcript

While Florida and James are away for the weekend, the kids are alone, which causes chaos when JJ thinks he is the boss and tries to get out of doing house work. However, the real trouble comes when an ex-girlfriend named Mary Ann confronts JJ with the news that she has VD and accuses JJ of giving it to her. JJ must now go the clinic to get an exam to confirm whether or not he has it before Flo and James come home.

♪ Good times Any time
you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit
rip-offs Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em? ♪



♪ Good times ♪♪

I'm all done cleaning
the bathroom, Thelma.

Good. Now you can
take out the garbage.

Uh-uh. That's it.
So far this morning,

I've cleaned the bathroom...
I did the windows...

I scrubbed the kitchen floor.

I'm going to be the only
kid in the eighth grade

with housemaid's knee.

Look, Michael, I don't
like it any more than you do

when Mom and Dad are gone,

but they wouldn't miss

Aunt Rose's
wedding for anything.

Yeah, Thelma, you know,
this whole thing seems strange.

Aunt Rose is at least 60,



and now she finally
decided to get married?

Yeah, she is kind of old, huh?

Old? She's going to go on her
honeymoon in an ambulance.

What's all this chattering here?

Y'all interrupted
my beauty sleep.

Well, what do you care?

It wasn't working anyway.

Oh yeah?

Look who's talking about looks.

The only girl that uses
industrial strength Afro Sheen.

That's right.

Hey, J.J., where do you get off

sleeping so late while
we're out here working?

Remember, Mama
said to share the work.

There's been a change
in the plans, Michael.

Now that Ma and
Dad are out of town,

I am your new
commander in chief,

and y'all are my troops.

That's right, I'm your
new four-star general.

And our old five-star fool.

That's going to get you KP, gal.

Which reminds me, did
you make breakfast yet?

Yeah, and you missed it.

Good, now if I
play my cards right,

I'll miss lunch too.

Hey, J.J., you know Mom
and Dad are going to be away

for the whole weekend.

You're going to
get awfully hungry.

Au contraire, Buck
Private Miguel.

As your new commanding officer,

I also am now in
charge of the menu.

What?

That's right, and from now on,

we ain't having nothing
but hamburgers, pancakes,

waffles and chicken.

Hey, I can't
make all that stuff.

You never could.

We're going out to eat.

Hey, J.J., where we going
to get the money from?

We're going to use that
$20 that Ma and Dad left us.

But that's for emergencies only.

Well, the only choice we
have now is Thelma's cooking,

which makes this an emergency.

Well, I've got the $20, and
we're not using it for food.

Uh, Thelma, look here.

If I want the money,
I will take the money.

Well, you just try.

All right, gal,
you asking for it.

Get her, Michael!

You big chicken.

You are a chicken!

Why don't y'all be cool?

I don't know why you're
always fighting about looks.

You know, looks
aren't everything.

At least I hope
not, for your sakes.

I've had enough
of this foolishness.

I'm taking the TV
set into my bedroom.

Hold on, J.J.

What do you mean, your bedroom?

We agreed to share
Mom and Dad's bedroom,

and tonight is my night.

Ah, there's been a slight
change in the plans, Michael.

Now, that's not
fair to Michael, now.

But Thelma, it's a good lesson.

Michael, life is full
of disappointments.

Yeah, that's what Ma and
Dad said the day you were born.

You stay out of this, Thelma.

You've always had
your own bedroom.

Yeah, because I'm a woman.

All the votes are
not in on that yet.

Hey, J.J., you're not
going to get away with this,

because I'm going
to tell Mom and Dad

the minute they get home.

And if you do, I'll tell them

that you have a dirty
magazine in your book bag.

J.J., there's no dirty
magazine in my book bag.

There will be.

But that's blackmail.

I prefer to call it "brownmail."

Hi, y'all.

Hey, hey, hey.

End of Round One.

Back to your neutral corners.

Aw, Willona, we just having

a little family discussion.

Your family told me to
watch you for the weekend,

and you promised me you
wouldn't be hassling, right?

Don't worry, I'm
watching the children.

Oh, good.

And we ain't doing
anything we wouldn't do

if Ma and Dad was here.

Yeah, J.J. always stays
out till 2 in the morning

like he did last night.

Ahh.

J.J.

Thanks a lot, moose mouth.

Look here, Willona,

I can explain this whole thing.

Well, come on. I'm waiting.

I can sum it up in three words.

Francine the Furnace.

J.J., I don't want to hear
no more about that, okay?

Yeah, Willona.

And, uh, how'd
you know I was out

till 2:00 in the
morning, anyway?

She probably heard you.

She didn't get
in till 1:30 herself.

Thelma.

Well, Rebecca of Sunnybrook
Farm has finally stepped in it.

All right, gal, we waiting
for an explanation.

Well, uh... A likely story.

Well, you know
how it is, Willona.

Larry and I had
a little fight, so...

Yeah, well, y'all
must have made up

by the time he
kissed you good night,

because I sure didn't
hear much fighting then.

Michael, was you up
at 1:30 in the morning?

Uh, well... Come over here.

Now, listen.

I am responsible for you
kids for the weekend, right?

And I will not have you
running around the streets

all hours of the night.

Do you understand that?

I said, do you understand that?

Yeah, Willona.

All right, now.

And, uh, Willona?

You won't relate

this small,
insignificant incident

to Ma and Dad, will you?

Well, I'm warning you.

If I hear one more hassle
out of any one of you kids,

I'm going to tell
everything I know.

You don't have to
worry about us, Willona.

We'll make the Waltons
look like the Hell's Angels.

Well, that's good,
because I will be back.

Bye, children.

Bye, Willona.

Bye-bye.

I got it! I got it!

Ha, ha.

Hello.

Oh, uh, hi, Mary Ann.

If y'all don't mind, this
is personal and private.

Don't be pushing on me.

Hello.

Yes, Mary Ann.

Why, certainly
you can come over.

Of course I'm alone.

Uh, that was just the maid.

Okay, I'll see you
in a little while.

"Say-ru-nara."

Hey, J.J., what's going on?

Boy, Michael, you look terrible.

What?

You need some sun.

You got to get out and
walk around the block.

Six or seven hours, maybe.
You're in terrible shape.

And Thelma, you can't let
him go alone in this condition.

You got to go with him.

Wait a minute, J.J.,
what are you doing?

That wasn't Mary Ann
Thomas on the phone, was it?

Uh, so what if it was?

I used to go out with her.

Well, not since she's
been going out steady

with the captain
of the football team.

And what's she
want to see you for?

Well, maybe she's getting
tired of all those field goals

and wants to score a touchdown!

Uh, well, we're not
leaving this house

just so you can be alone
with Mary Ann Thomas.

That's right.

But Thelma, she just
wants to talk to me in private,

that's all.

It's the truth.

I mean, couldn't
you take Michael

to the zoo or
something like that.

Maybe see some
of the orangutans,

some of the kangaroos,
the cute little "koaly" bears.

You know I shouldn't
do this, because I know

all you're going to do is
just get us into more trouble.

Oh, no, I won't, Thelma. Please?

Do it for your older brother.

You know that I would
do the same thing for you.

Tsk.

All right.

Now, just this one time, hear?

Come on, Michael.

I ain't going nowhere.

What do you mean,
you ain't going nowhere?

Don't worry, J.J.

I'll leave, but for a price.

A price? What price?

Well, let me see.

I get the TV.

I get the bedroom tonight,
and you get the dinner dishes.

Michael, that's blackmail.

No, it ain't, J.J.

I prefer to call it "brownmail."

Aw, man, just get
on... Hey, don't push.

Don't push. Don't push now.

Unless you don't
want me to leave.

Hi, Mary Ann.

Hey, J.J.

Hi, Mary Ann.

Hey, Mary Ann, what's happening?

They was just leaving.

Have a good time,
and a long one.

Get on out of here, yeah.

Well, well, well.

Alone at last.

Aw, listen, J.J., now,
I got to talk to you.

Aw, now, come on,
sweetheart, let's not rush things.

Have a little drinky-poo first.

How about a Kool-Aid cocktail?

J.J., this is important, now.

I ain't got time for that.

Oh, wow, want to skip
the preliminaries, huh?

J.J., shut up, now.

I got something to tell you.

Hey, lighten up, sweetheart.

Can't be that serious.

Well, it is, and
it's all your fault.

What's my fault?

What I got to tell you.

What's that?

Well, it ain't easy.

Oh, now, come on, sweet thing.

You know you can
tell me anything.

Okay.

See, J.J...

I got VD, and you the
one who gave it to me.

I can't believe
this is happening.

I mean, this only
happens to other people.

Wait a minute.

To other people,
I am other people!

I've just got to calm down here,

think this thing out logically.

Yeah. I just... Ah.

I feel better already.

Now, what was that
trouble I was considering?

Wow, I can't even remember.

Can't be that important.

Oh, yeah, I got VD.

I got VD!?

Oh, no.

Why couldn't it be
something else?

Measles, mumps,
Dutch elm disease?

Wait a minute.

I gotta talk to
somebody about this.

That's what I'll do.

I'll call them.

I'll tell them that I have VD...

I can't do that.

Wait a minute, now.

I'm going crazy.

All this stuff is
going to my head.

Going to my head?

That's the first sign!

I'll get the family
medical encyclopedia.

Yeah, they'll have it in there.

That's what I'll do.

The whole thing...

I'll straighten
it out right here.

What's this... T,
U, V. Here it is.

All of it'll make me sick.

Hey, where's Mary Ann?

Who?

Mary Ann.

She was here when we left.

Oh, uh, she split.

Well, J.J., she sure
didn't stay very long.

Who?

Mary Ann.

Hey, J.J., what's wrong?
You acting kind of weird.

Did she give you some
bad news or something?

No, uh, actually,
I gave it to her.

What kind of bad news can
you give Mary Ann Thomas?

Believe me, Thelma,
it's bad news.

Now, leave me alone.

I got to think about this.

Hold on, J.J.

If you got a problem,
why don't you tell us?

Maybe we can help you.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Michael... Yeah?

I... I wish you were older.

Thelma... Yeah?

I wish you were my brother.

Hey, J.J., what you doing
with this medical book?

You sick?

Hey, man, leave that alone.

Hold on, J.J.

Hey, J.J., you got VD?

You got what?

Uh, what makes y'all
say a thing like that?

Because there are only
two things on this page,

and I know you're not
going to get a vasectomy.

J.J., you got VD?

You don't have to
broadcast it on the 6:00 news.

Michael. Leave the room.

But Thelma, I can help.

We learned this
in sex education.

I know all about VD.

You do? Yeah.

Thelma, leave the room.

Hold on. I'll go
get my textbook.

J.J., are you sure you got it?

I mean, there's only one
way to get it, you know?

J.J.!

Whew. Well, who is she?

None of your business.

Well, who could she be?

Not Mary Ann Thomas?

Ooh, Mary Ann Thomas?

Sweet little Mary Ann Thomas?

Ooh!

Thelma, will you shut up?

You sound like a wounded cow.

Hey, J.J., I got it.

Are you ready?

Yeah, go ahead. Read it, man.

"Despite all the myths about VD,

it can only be caught
through sexual contact."

Ooh.

Michael, will you go
ahead and read the thing?

Well, "If detected in
time and treated properly,

VD is 100 percent curable."

Well, see, now,
that's the answer.

We got to get to a
doctor right away.

I can't afford to
go to a doctor.

Even doctors can't
afford to go to doctors.

Hey, J.J., you
don't have to pay.

Hey, it says here that

"The public health department

"gives free treatment

in every major
city in the country."

Maybe if I take some
aspirin it will go away.

J.J., it won't go away.

You may lose the symptoms,

but you'll still
have the disease,

and that can turn into
heart disease, blindness,

mental illness, and
it can even be fatal.

If Ma and Dad find out
about it, it will be fatal.

But J.J., they don't
have to find out about it.

In Illinois and
most other states,

a doctor can treat anyone
over the age of 11 for VD

without their
parents' permission.

See, J.J., there's
nothing to think about.

It's a dangerous disease,

and you've got to get
to a clinic right now.

Now, come on. Come on.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Ma.

Ma!? No, I'm fine.

I really am. I'm fine.
Everything's fine.

I'm fine, uh... Michael,
tell her I'm fine.

Hello, Ma?

Yeah, J.J.'s fine.

Oh, we're getting ready
to go to the doctor's office.

Uh, no, Ma.

Uh, Michael just
scraped his knee

and we ran out of iodine,
but I'm fine. I really am.

I'm fine.

Uh, Thelma, tell her I'm fine.

Here you go, girl.
Take this thing.

Hi, Ma?

Oh, yeah, uh-huh,
everything's okay.

Uh-huh.

H-how's the wedding?

Oh, that's good.

Hey, Ma caught
the bride's bouquet.

That ain't nothing
compared to what J.J. caught.

Hey, what's the matter?

I can't go in there.

I'm too embarrassed.

J.J., you should have
thought of that before.

"Don't do the crime if
you cannot do the time."

J.J., will you get on in there?

Yeah!

Can I help you?

Uh... yeah.

I'd like to see a doctor
about... a minor ailment.

Okay.

I'll need your name, address,

and the nature of your ailment.

Yeah, uh, James Evans, Jr.,

963 North Gilbert,

and I want to see a male nurse.

We don't have one.

What is the nature
of your ailment?

The nature of my ailment.

Oh, wait a minute.

Am I in a clinic.

Oh, wow.

I must be sleepwalking again.

Ha ha ha. Pardon me.

It's been a little
faux pas on my part.

These things happen
every once in a while.

No big deal.

I'll see you later. All right.

Uh, it'll be a few more minutes.

Uh, now, where were we?

What is the nature
of your ailment?

Uh, I got...

Well, why didn't you say so?

That's nothing to be ashamed of.

Just take a seat.

The doctor'll be
with you in a minute.

Uh, anybody sitting here?

No.

What are you here for?

Uh, I got a... a cold.

A cold? That's funny.

Everybody else is here for VD.

That must have been some party.

No, man, these people
don't know each other.

Where you been,
out of the country?

VD's an epidemic.

But, because of
the way you get it,

a lot of people are afraid
to admit they've got it.

That's simply ridiculous.

Of course it is.

A germ's a germ, ain't it?

I mean, really,
what's the difference

between VD and your cold?

Very little.

James Evans, Jr?

Uh, yeah, right here.

Would you step in here, please?

Yeah.

Step right in, please.

Mr. Evans, I want to
thank you for coming in.

Huh?

Oh, you'd be surprised

how few people who
suspect they have VD

will even seek treatment,

and VD's the biggest problem
with kids around your age.

But I thought it was an
older person's disease.

Oh, no. Not at all.

The next biggest group to
get it are kids younger than you.

Matter of fact, it's
so out of control now

that one out of five
high school students

will get VD before
they graduate.

And I guess the other four
get it after they graduate.

Just about.

A-and it's not the bad guy's
disease anymore, either.

Anyone can get it, and they do.

Look, the best way to prevent VD

is to not mess around
in the first place,

but if the people who
do would just come in

and take the tests, why,

we could wipe it
out in no time at all.

Are you ready for your tests?

Is it going to hurt?

Not a bit.

Well, then, what
are we waiting for?

They've been in there
for almost two hours.

When are they going to be done?

Michael, they have to
wait for the test results.

Oh, hi, Mary Ann.

Thelma.

Uh, J.J.'s in there
getting his test now.

Oh, well, it's about time he
did something to get cured.

Hey, gang. I don't have it.

Mary Ann.

What do you mean,
you don't have it?

I don't have it. I never
did. You were wrong.

But that's impossible.
You have to have it.

But I just took the test. See?

Oh, no.

Oh, I can't believe this.

But Mary Ann, like I told you...

J.J., let me talk to her.

Mary Ann, J.J. doesn't have it.

Now, I know you hate
to admit this to yourself,

but that means that someone
you came in contact with does.

But... but see, Thelma,

there's only been
one other person,

and... And we're
going to get married.

We're engaged to get married.

Well, maybe he
doesn't know he has it.

Mary Ann, it has to be him.

But, Thelma, we're engaged.

Now how am I going to tell him?

Well, the worst thing
you can do is not tell him.

J.J., I'm sorry

for putting you
through all this.

No, I'm glad you did.

If I'm sick,

I want to be amongst
the first to know about it.

Thanks, Thelma. Um...

I'm going to go in here
and get my follow-up exam,

and then I'm going
to have a huddle

with a certain football player.

I'll see you.

Well, gang, I owe y'all a lot

for bringing me down
here like you did.

Don't be silly. We love you.

Yeah, man.

Well, I learned
one thing from this.

I'm not going to be
involved in love anymore.

It ain't nothing but trouble.

Come on, let's go.

Hello there, Mama!

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

Good Times is recorded on tape

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