Good Times (1974–1979): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Encyclopedia Hustle - full transcript
The Evans family realizes that they may have been scammed by a blind man selling encyclopedias.
♪ Good times Any time
you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪
♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary lay
offs Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit
ripoffs Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪
Hey, Thelma, you
just ate my model.
Sorry, J.J.
That's the only apple
we had left in the house.
Paint a banana.
Mama, I'm an artist, I
gotta paint what I feels...
And today I feel apples.
Well, if you feel apple how
come you always acting bananas?
Can't you paint half an
apple? You got half a brain...
Oh, get out of there.
Children.
Ma, my whole
artistic mood is ruined.
What I'm gonna do for the
rest of the day? I'm desperate!
Do your homework.
I ain't that desperate.
The phone is still dead, Mom.
I know, Thelma, your daddy's out
trying to raise money
to pay the bill now.
Willona's taking
messages for us,
didn't you give her
number to your friends?
Yeah, but none of my
boyfriends called yet.
Huh, that figures,
your boyfriends are
so dumb they probably
can't remember more
than one number.
Look who's talking! How about
the chicks you go out with?
I don't have to worry
about my chicks,
because they don't have
to remember no number.
They can knock on my door.
If they can find the door.
The door is right there.
All right, children, I
want you to stop it.
You kids only have your
social life to worry about.
I've got to worry
about a part-time job
that's being messed up.
By the time that
department store reaches me
the part-time job
will be no time.
Good afternoon.
Yes?
My name is Henry Anderson,
and I have a free gift for you.
Well, even if it's
free we can't afford it.
Ma'am I'm sure
you'll find it interesting,
it's a calendar with important
dates of black history.
Black history?
Take it, Mama. It's free.
Yeah, but I got a feeling
what he got in
his briefcase ain't.
I am selling something, ma'am,
but I'd still like the boy
to have this free calendar.
He sounds like a
true soul brother.
Here you are, son.
Thank you.
If you like that,
I'm sure you'll find it
really interesting
what I'm selling.
It's an entire encyclopedia
of black history.
Black encyclopedia?
Fantastic, we sure could
use one around here.
Now wait a minute, Michael,
I'm only up to E in
the white encyclopedia.
Let's take one color at a time.
Oh, you have another son?
Yes.
If you'd just let me come
in, I'd like to talk to you.
I am not interested.
May I sit down?
In somebody else's apartment.
Now, will you leave?
Mama, he's B-L-I-N-D.
But, Michael, he
can still H-E-A-R.
J.J.!
Here's your briefcase
and... Thank you.
I'm sorry we were so
rude. Please sit down.
Oh, it's nothing
to get upset about,
just treat me like anybody else.
I may be an unsighted person,
but I still have my other
senses to compensate.
For instance, I'd
say the young man
is 12 years old, about five feet
and extremely intelligent.
Thank you, how'd you know that?
I know a lot of things.
Sometimes I can see
things sighted people can't.
How do I look?
Well, from the
direction of your voice
I'd say you're quite tall,
and from the confidence with
which you ask the question,
very handsome.
This man can see things
sighted people can't see.
There's also a young
lady in the room.
Yeah, that's right. I'm Thelma,
but how did you know I was here?
By your perfume.
Yeah, she's wearing
Lily of the Ghetto.
I can tell by your voice
that you're very pretty.
Mr. Anderson, you just
blew your winning streak.
Mr. Anderson, what
does Mama look like?
Well, from the moment
I heard her at the door
I knew that she was kind,
warm, youthful and very charming.
Mr. Anderson, can I
get you a cup of coffee?
Please, don't put
yourself to any trouble.
Oh, it's just my
way of thanking you
for not mentioning my weight.
I'm sure that you have
a very lovely figure.
You just won
yourself a donut too.
Mr. Anderson, can you tell
me more about these books?
This set of encyclopedias
is for you, Michael.
This is only volume one,
the whole set
contains 10 volumes.
It covers everything from
Crispus Attucks to Malcolm X.
Oh, wow, look at this!
Here you are, Mr. Anderson,
this is your coffee,
and the donut is
right in front of you.
Thank you, Mrs...? Evans.
Mama, come here, look at this.
It says here that when
George Washington
crossed the Delaware he
had two black men with him.
Hey, that's a switch,
the two black dudes are
sitting and George is standing.
I never knew
this! This is terrific.
Take it easy, Michael,
don't get too carried away.
Hey, Ma, listen to this.
It says a black scout
named James Armistead
saved General Lafayette and
his men from capture by the British.
Hmm, I can just imagine him now
standing there in
a 1776 Cadillac.
Lafayette, we's here.
Mom, this book is great.
Mr. Anderson, you got anything
in that book
about black artists?
I knew you'd ask that question.
You're an artist
yourself, aren't you?
Of course.
I can smell the paint.
I'm sure you're
a fine artist too.
Hey, this dude is too much.
First he knows I'm handsome,
now he knows I'm talented.
Boy, this guy's got the
Six Million Dollar Man
beat by five million dollars.
We're very proud of our
section on black artists.
Charles White, Ernie
Barnes, Henry O. Tanner.
Oh, maybe next year I'll be
written up in one of your books.
Only if there's a
section on black fools.
It'd be under T for Thelma.
Mr. Anderson, does
the encyclopedia
have anything about the theatre?
Oh yes, a very
extensive section, Thelma.
It covers James Baldwin,
Lorraine Hansberry,
has biographies of
Marion Anderson,
Leontyne Price, Paul Roberson...
Wow, Mama, doesn't
that sound out of sight?
I got a feeling the
cost is out of sight too.
Oh, Mrs. Evans, it's not
as expensive as you'd think.
We have a special
easy payment plan.
Could you afford, say,
$20 down and $5 a week?
The $20 down is impossible
and the $5 a week
is tougher than that.
You're such a wonderful family,
how about $5 down and $2 a week?
Two dollars a week?
Oh, Ma, can't we
stretch our budget?
Child, we ain't got no budget.
All we got is a cookie jar with
some pennies and prayers...
And by the end of the
week it's down to prayers.
You're missing a wonderful
opportunity, Mrs. Evans.
Now it only costs $109,
next week it'll be up to $250.
Yeah, Mama, we better act fast.
Hey, Mama, we could do it,
I won't buy so much
perfume and hair spray.
And I'll make the
supreme sacrifice,
I'll give up my weekly Big Mac.
Oh, please, Mama, if
you buy us these books
I'll never ask for
anything again as long
as I live in my whole life.
Come on, Mama,
we can do it, I'll save.
Please, Mama, come on.
Wait a minute, children,
that's a lot of money.
Ma, I'll save too.
James, I'm glad you're here.
Oh?
We got company.
Yeah, well if it's
a bill collector
you better tell him to
get to the end of the line.
He's selling something.
Selling something?
Baby, you must be kidding.
I been out scuffling trying
to raise money to pay
the bills we got now,
didn't come up with but
$5, and you're in here
listening to some slick
pitch from a jive dude.
Plus you're serving
him the last donut
I was saving for
myself when I got home.
James, let me explain.
Well, look here, man, I
don't know what you're selling,
but we ain't buying nothing.
So you might as well pack up
your bag and get on out of here.
Daddy, he's selling
encyclopedias,
it's the whole history
of black people.
Yeah? Well, the history
of these black people
is that we can't afford
to buy no encyclopedias
about the history of
them black people.
Now split, man.
Hey daddy, you shouldn't
talk to him that way.
I don't need you telling me
how to talk to no fancy peddler.
Oh, Ma.
Michael, may I have
the book, please?
Well, will you listen
to Mr. Saddity?
"Michael, may I have the
book, please?" What is that?
Mr. Anderson, can we
still keep the calendar?
Sure, it's yours, enjoy it, son.
Thank you.
Under the circumstances
maybe I'd better come
back another time.
Yeah, try July 1985.
James.
Well, what kind of clumsy ox
you all done brought in here?
Knocking over furniture,
stumbling and bumbling around?
How you expect somebody
to buy something you selling
you can't even... Daddy!
He's blind.
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Why didn't somebody
say something?
What you all just
standing around for?
Thelma, get the man
another cup of coffee.
No, no please, don't bother.
Sit down, please
Mr. Anderson, I'm sorry.
What you selling?
An encyclopedia of
Black history, Mr. Evans.
It's $109, James.
But it's only $5 down
and $2 a week, Daddy.
It tells the whole
story of black people.
Yeah, from slavery to Shaft.
From "Lift that bale,
tote that barge,"
to "Get your hands
off me, honky."
Mr. Evans, your
children can have
the whole cultural
history of our race
right at their fingertips.
Yeah, well we always
did want the kids
to get a good education.
What you think, baby?
I don't know,
James, it's up to you.
Well, $2 a week ain't
going to make or break us.
All right, Mr. Anderson,
you got yourself a deal.
If you'll just sign this
contract on the bottom line.
All right.
I'll deliver the entire set
to you personally this evening.
And, Mr. Anderson,
here's the five for the down.
You'll have to excuse the
condition of the wrinkled money,
had to do a lot of
squeezing to get it.
Thank you, and here's
your copy of the contract.
It's awfully nice meeting you
and your family, Mr. Evans.
Same here.
Let me show you to
the door, Mr. Anderson.
Thank you.
Nice talking to all of you.
Bye.
Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.
I'll be back this evening.
All right, we'll see you.
I mean, we'll be here.
Oh James, that was a nice thing
to do, helping out a blind man.
Oh, baby, that ain't
had nothing to do with it.
I just thought it
would be a good idea
to have some decent history
books around here for the kids.
You know this paper here
could be the road to culture.
Thank you, Daddy.
Yeah, it sure will be
nice to have them books.
Yeah, uh-uh.
Hey baby, I see
something I don't like here.
What is it, James, what?
It says there is an extra
$1 a week carrying charge,
$3 credit investigation charge,
and if we miss two
payments in a row
there's a $20 penalty charge.
Then they got a
final balloon payment
that's going to blow us away.
We just make sure we
don't miss any payments.
Yeah, like we didn't miss
any payments to the
telephone company, huh?
Oh lord, now look, I
know this is bad news.
What?
The print on it's
so fine you need
a magnifying glass to read it.
Look here, "The seller has a
lien on the purchaser's chattel"
Now I know we're the purchaser,
but who the hell is chattel?
They must have spelled it wrong.
They probably think we're rich
Texans and they meant cattle.
Chattel means everything we
own: Furniture, stove, refrigerator,
TV, clothes, everything!
Ma, they can take everything!
James, what have we signed?
I got a feeling we gonna be
an unfurnished naked family.
How could a brother rip us off?
It's easy, Michael.
Don't forget now,
Benedict Arnold was
somebody's brother too.
Well, baby, that
was some fine meal.
Well, thank the lord
we had enough to eat.
Yeah, but you know if
we go for that encyclopedia
hokey-doke, this table going
to be down to poke and grits.
What's poke and grits, Daddy?
Son, that's when you
ain't got nothing to eat,
you poke out your
lips and grit your teeth.
It's all my fault.
No.
It's not your fault,
baby, we're all to blame.
We were just trying
to help out a blind man.
Yeah, if he's blind.
What you mean by that, James?
Oh, now think about it, baby.
This cat comes in here
fumbling and stumbling,
bumps into a few
things, tells us he's blind
and we fall for the jive.
And me signing that contract,
I fell for it worse
than anybody,
gave him the last $5 I had.
Now wait a minute, y'all.
I got a great idea how
we can get out of this thing.
Listen to this,
we lock the door,
pack our bags, and
before he gets here
we go down to the
Ambassador East Hotel,
get a suite and lay there
until this thing blows over!
J.J., where we going
to get the money
to stay at the Ambassador East?
I took the ball to
the one-yard line,
let somebody else carry
it over for the touchdown.
It's Willona's answering service
with the latest
batch of messages
for the Evans family.
Not that I'm complaining, James,
but what is happening
with the telephone?
Nothing, I ain't paid the bill.
Oh... Any calls for me, Willona?
There sure was, honey,
Eddie called, he
wants to take you
to the basketball
game Saturday night.
Oh, really?
Uh-huh, and Jimmy called,
he wants to take you to the
basketball game Saturday night.
Uh-oh.
And Larry called,
he wants to take you
to the basketball
game Saturday night.
What, all three of them?
Mm-hmm. Oh no, what
I'm going to do now?
Are you hip to eeny,
meeny, miny, moe?
Well, now that we
dispensed with the small fry,
let's get onto the biggie.
Yeah. Anyway.
J.J.?
Yes, Ma?
I'll give you a "Yes, Ma."
Lay it on me, Willona,
how many females
been calling panting
for their Saturday
evening reservations
with Kid Dy-no-mite?
You had one call, Fred Thompson.
Oh, Fred Thompson?
Now, Fred Thompson is
worth millions of Thelma calls.
My main man, Fred. My
down home partner, Fred!
What my main running mate want?
He wants you to ask Thelma
to go to the basketball
game with him Saturday night.
Looks like Kid Dy-no-mite
is a wet firecracker.
And Flo, you had one
call from Thora Fuller.
You know your friend
that's had 11 kids
and about to have
another one any day?
Well, what was the message?
Help! Oh, Willona!
And James, you had
a call from the carwash.
Oh good, they want me to come in
tomorrow for the
weekend business, huh?
No, they're expecting
a heavy rainstorm,
they're not even going
to open the place up.
Boy that's great, just great!
Take on debt and lose, you pay.
Tell you, if it
wasn't for bad luck,
we wouldn't have
no luck at all. Damn.
See, White folks is right,
we are happy carefree people.
Wa-ow!
♪ Camptown ladies sing
this song Doo-da, doo-da ♪
♪ Camptown ladies
Five miles long ♪♪
Hey Willona, could
you wind down?
I could wino!
I'll see you all later.
Okay. That girl's crazy.
You know something, baby,
that about rips it, though.
With no weekend money
coming from the carwash,
ain't no way in the world we can
afford them encyclopedias now.
When that dude gets here
with that phony hustle tonight,
we just gonna have
to sock it to him.
But, James, we could be wrong,
how do we know
he isn't really blind?
Florida, I bet you that
dude could see a roach
tap dancing a mile away.
Wait, let me get it, baby.
Junior, get on the floor
and lay down by the door.
Now, I'm going to show
you just how blind this cat is.
Oh, James.
I said lay down on the
floor by the door, man.
Oh, come on, Dad, I ain't
laying down on no floor.
I beg your pardon?
I was just laying
down on the floor.
Come in.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, see?
I told you, you satisfied now?
Man, I done seen
some cons in my time,
but you take the
cake trying to run
that phony blind job on us.
If you're talking about
that person laying there
on the floor, I
heard him breathing.
Oh, now come on. I wasn't
breathing, Dad, honest.
I heard him breathing clearly.
Do you think I'd pretend I lost
one of God's most
precious gifts?
You think I'd commit a blasphemy
like that just to sell
an encyclopedia?
Damn right.
We can't be sure.
Maybe this will convince you,
it's a Photostat copy of
my Army medical records.
This happened in Korea.
Korea?
Yeah, the Yalu
River, 91st Recon.
91st Recon?
Hey, man, you the
cats that replaced us.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Hey look, I hate to ask you
to get me out of another hole,
man, but we can't
deal with that contract,
you all got too
many clauses in it.
You got clauses in there to turn
us every which way but loose.
And the company's going to
take away everything we've got
if we can't keep
up them payments.
Hey, that's terrible, I didn't
know nothing about them clauses.
Look, I'd like to tear your
contract up, but I can't.
I already turned in a
signed copy of it to my boss.
Well, what are we going to do?
We're not blaming you,
but we're in a lot of trouble.
Don't worry, Mrs. Evans,
I'm not going to
let that company
take advantage of
you good people.
I'm going to call up
my boss right now
and get him to
straighten this thing out.
Where's the phone, please?
Well, it's right over here.
Oh, but you can't do that...
No problem, I dial by feel.
No, no...
I'll settle this with
my boss right now.
No, Mr. Anderson,
you don't understand,
my wife is trying to explain...
Anderson here,
Mr. Fields, please.
Mr. Fields, Anderson.
Say I'm over here at the...
Say, I'm over here
at the Evans' place
and they tell me there
are some irregularities
in their encyclopedia contract.
No, I want you to
tear that contract up
and call the whole thing off.
But you can't do that, Fields,
you're cheating these people.
No, you listen to me,
if you don't tear
up that contract, I...
He hung up on me.
That makes me mad
enough, I ought to just quit.
Man, you quit when
you picked up that phone.
You know something, man,
you ain't nothing but a
no-good phony hustler.
What are you talking about?
Mr. Anderson, can
you read Braille?
Of course.
Good, what do this say?
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself,
making fake phone calls.
I don't understand
what you're talking about.
No, well maybe
you'll understand this.
Hello, operator,
give me the police.
Police, I want the Bunko squad.
Hello, Bunko squad?
We've got a blind man
here who is full of bunk.
Sure, I'll hold on for a minute.
You've got sixty seconds,
and then I'm turning you in.
And give me my $5, man.
Look here.
Hello, police, it was
a false alarm, sorry.
Mr. Anderson, goodbye.
Hey, just tell me one thing.
What's that?
How'd you know my
phone call was fake?
The phone is disconnected.
Ah, then your call was fake too?
That's right.
So you out-conned me?
Have mercy.
Wow, how could you
do that to a blind brother?
Mr. Anderson, you may be blind,
but you ain't no
brother of ours.
You lie, you cheat, you steal.
You're a disgrace
to blind people.
In fact, you're a
disgrace to all people.
You through, Mrs. Evans?
Yeah.
Then let me tell you something:
Blind people are just
like everybody else,
you take the good with the bad.
So long, brothers.
You know something, James?
I got a feeling he was blind
long before he lost his sight.
Kids, I'm sorry about the books. I
know how bad you wanted them.
That's all right,
Dad, no problem.
And Ma, you were
brilliant on that phone call.
You are the best
actress I ever saw.
Thelma's right. What was
she on the phone everybody?
She was dy-no-mite!
Hey, you ready for this, baby?
Here's a letter from the
phone company asking us
if we'd like to switch to
one of them push button
princess phones
with a choice of colors.
Now listen now,
including robin's egg blue,
sunflower yellow
or boudoir beige.
Well, it was nice
of them to ask,
but I think we better
stick to basic black
and hope we can find
basic green to pay for it.
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
Good Times is recorded on tape
before a live audience.
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪
you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪
♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary lay
offs Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit
ripoffs Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪
Hey, Thelma, you
just ate my model.
Sorry, J.J.
That's the only apple
we had left in the house.
Paint a banana.
Mama, I'm an artist, I
gotta paint what I feels...
And today I feel apples.
Well, if you feel apple how
come you always acting bananas?
Can't you paint half an
apple? You got half a brain...
Oh, get out of there.
Children.
Ma, my whole
artistic mood is ruined.
What I'm gonna do for the
rest of the day? I'm desperate!
Do your homework.
I ain't that desperate.
The phone is still dead, Mom.
I know, Thelma, your daddy's out
trying to raise money
to pay the bill now.
Willona's taking
messages for us,
didn't you give her
number to your friends?
Yeah, but none of my
boyfriends called yet.
Huh, that figures,
your boyfriends are
so dumb they probably
can't remember more
than one number.
Look who's talking! How about
the chicks you go out with?
I don't have to worry
about my chicks,
because they don't have
to remember no number.
They can knock on my door.
If they can find the door.
The door is right there.
All right, children, I
want you to stop it.
You kids only have your
social life to worry about.
I've got to worry
about a part-time job
that's being messed up.
By the time that
department store reaches me
the part-time job
will be no time.
Good afternoon.
Yes?
My name is Henry Anderson,
and I have a free gift for you.
Well, even if it's
free we can't afford it.
Ma'am I'm sure
you'll find it interesting,
it's a calendar with important
dates of black history.
Black history?
Take it, Mama. It's free.
Yeah, but I got a feeling
what he got in
his briefcase ain't.
I am selling something, ma'am,
but I'd still like the boy
to have this free calendar.
He sounds like a
true soul brother.
Here you are, son.
Thank you.
If you like that,
I'm sure you'll find it
really interesting
what I'm selling.
It's an entire encyclopedia
of black history.
Black encyclopedia?
Fantastic, we sure could
use one around here.
Now wait a minute, Michael,
I'm only up to E in
the white encyclopedia.
Let's take one color at a time.
Oh, you have another son?
Yes.
If you'd just let me come
in, I'd like to talk to you.
I am not interested.
May I sit down?
In somebody else's apartment.
Now, will you leave?
Mama, he's B-L-I-N-D.
But, Michael, he
can still H-E-A-R.
J.J.!
Here's your briefcase
and... Thank you.
I'm sorry we were so
rude. Please sit down.
Oh, it's nothing
to get upset about,
just treat me like anybody else.
I may be an unsighted person,
but I still have my other
senses to compensate.
For instance, I'd
say the young man
is 12 years old, about five feet
and extremely intelligent.
Thank you, how'd you know that?
I know a lot of things.
Sometimes I can see
things sighted people can't.
How do I look?
Well, from the
direction of your voice
I'd say you're quite tall,
and from the confidence with
which you ask the question,
very handsome.
This man can see things
sighted people can't see.
There's also a young
lady in the room.
Yeah, that's right. I'm Thelma,
but how did you know I was here?
By your perfume.
Yeah, she's wearing
Lily of the Ghetto.
I can tell by your voice
that you're very pretty.
Mr. Anderson, you just
blew your winning streak.
Mr. Anderson, what
does Mama look like?
Well, from the moment
I heard her at the door
I knew that she was kind,
warm, youthful and very charming.
Mr. Anderson, can I
get you a cup of coffee?
Please, don't put
yourself to any trouble.
Oh, it's just my
way of thanking you
for not mentioning my weight.
I'm sure that you have
a very lovely figure.
You just won
yourself a donut too.
Mr. Anderson, can you tell
me more about these books?
This set of encyclopedias
is for you, Michael.
This is only volume one,
the whole set
contains 10 volumes.
It covers everything from
Crispus Attucks to Malcolm X.
Oh, wow, look at this!
Here you are, Mr. Anderson,
this is your coffee,
and the donut is
right in front of you.
Thank you, Mrs...? Evans.
Mama, come here, look at this.
It says here that when
George Washington
crossed the Delaware he
had two black men with him.
Hey, that's a switch,
the two black dudes are
sitting and George is standing.
I never knew
this! This is terrific.
Take it easy, Michael,
don't get too carried away.
Hey, Ma, listen to this.
It says a black scout
named James Armistead
saved General Lafayette and
his men from capture by the British.
Hmm, I can just imagine him now
standing there in
a 1776 Cadillac.
Lafayette, we's here.
Mom, this book is great.
Mr. Anderson, you got anything
in that book
about black artists?
I knew you'd ask that question.
You're an artist
yourself, aren't you?
Of course.
I can smell the paint.
I'm sure you're
a fine artist too.
Hey, this dude is too much.
First he knows I'm handsome,
now he knows I'm talented.
Boy, this guy's got the
Six Million Dollar Man
beat by five million dollars.
We're very proud of our
section on black artists.
Charles White, Ernie
Barnes, Henry O. Tanner.
Oh, maybe next year I'll be
written up in one of your books.
Only if there's a
section on black fools.
It'd be under T for Thelma.
Mr. Anderson, does
the encyclopedia
have anything about the theatre?
Oh yes, a very
extensive section, Thelma.
It covers James Baldwin,
Lorraine Hansberry,
has biographies of
Marion Anderson,
Leontyne Price, Paul Roberson...
Wow, Mama, doesn't
that sound out of sight?
I got a feeling the
cost is out of sight too.
Oh, Mrs. Evans, it's not
as expensive as you'd think.
We have a special
easy payment plan.
Could you afford, say,
$20 down and $5 a week?
The $20 down is impossible
and the $5 a week
is tougher than that.
You're such a wonderful family,
how about $5 down and $2 a week?
Two dollars a week?
Oh, Ma, can't we
stretch our budget?
Child, we ain't got no budget.
All we got is a cookie jar with
some pennies and prayers...
And by the end of the
week it's down to prayers.
You're missing a wonderful
opportunity, Mrs. Evans.
Now it only costs $109,
next week it'll be up to $250.
Yeah, Mama, we better act fast.
Hey, Mama, we could do it,
I won't buy so much
perfume and hair spray.
And I'll make the
supreme sacrifice,
I'll give up my weekly Big Mac.
Oh, please, Mama, if
you buy us these books
I'll never ask for
anything again as long
as I live in my whole life.
Come on, Mama,
we can do it, I'll save.
Please, Mama, come on.
Wait a minute, children,
that's a lot of money.
Ma, I'll save too.
James, I'm glad you're here.
Oh?
We got company.
Yeah, well if it's
a bill collector
you better tell him to
get to the end of the line.
He's selling something.
Selling something?
Baby, you must be kidding.
I been out scuffling trying
to raise money to pay
the bills we got now,
didn't come up with but
$5, and you're in here
listening to some slick
pitch from a jive dude.
Plus you're serving
him the last donut
I was saving for
myself when I got home.
James, let me explain.
Well, look here, man, I
don't know what you're selling,
but we ain't buying nothing.
So you might as well pack up
your bag and get on out of here.
Daddy, he's selling
encyclopedias,
it's the whole history
of black people.
Yeah? Well, the history
of these black people
is that we can't afford
to buy no encyclopedias
about the history of
them black people.
Now split, man.
Hey daddy, you shouldn't
talk to him that way.
I don't need you telling me
how to talk to no fancy peddler.
Oh, Ma.
Michael, may I have
the book, please?
Well, will you listen
to Mr. Saddity?
"Michael, may I have the
book, please?" What is that?
Mr. Anderson, can we
still keep the calendar?
Sure, it's yours, enjoy it, son.
Thank you.
Under the circumstances
maybe I'd better come
back another time.
Yeah, try July 1985.
James.
Well, what kind of clumsy ox
you all done brought in here?
Knocking over furniture,
stumbling and bumbling around?
How you expect somebody
to buy something you selling
you can't even... Daddy!
He's blind.
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Why didn't somebody
say something?
What you all just
standing around for?
Thelma, get the man
another cup of coffee.
No, no please, don't bother.
Sit down, please
Mr. Anderson, I'm sorry.
What you selling?
An encyclopedia of
Black history, Mr. Evans.
It's $109, James.
But it's only $5 down
and $2 a week, Daddy.
It tells the whole
story of black people.
Yeah, from slavery to Shaft.
From "Lift that bale,
tote that barge,"
to "Get your hands
off me, honky."
Mr. Evans, your
children can have
the whole cultural
history of our race
right at their fingertips.
Yeah, well we always
did want the kids
to get a good education.
What you think, baby?
I don't know,
James, it's up to you.
Well, $2 a week ain't
going to make or break us.
All right, Mr. Anderson,
you got yourself a deal.
If you'll just sign this
contract on the bottom line.
All right.
I'll deliver the entire set
to you personally this evening.
And, Mr. Anderson,
here's the five for the down.
You'll have to excuse the
condition of the wrinkled money,
had to do a lot of
squeezing to get it.
Thank you, and here's
your copy of the contract.
It's awfully nice meeting you
and your family, Mr. Evans.
Same here.
Let me show you to
the door, Mr. Anderson.
Thank you.
Nice talking to all of you.
Bye.
Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.
I'll be back this evening.
All right, we'll see you.
I mean, we'll be here.
Oh James, that was a nice thing
to do, helping out a blind man.
Oh, baby, that ain't
had nothing to do with it.
I just thought it
would be a good idea
to have some decent history
books around here for the kids.
You know this paper here
could be the road to culture.
Thank you, Daddy.
Yeah, it sure will be
nice to have them books.
Yeah, uh-uh.
Hey baby, I see
something I don't like here.
What is it, James, what?
It says there is an extra
$1 a week carrying charge,
$3 credit investigation charge,
and if we miss two
payments in a row
there's a $20 penalty charge.
Then they got a
final balloon payment
that's going to blow us away.
We just make sure we
don't miss any payments.
Yeah, like we didn't miss
any payments to the
telephone company, huh?
Oh lord, now look, I
know this is bad news.
What?
The print on it's
so fine you need
a magnifying glass to read it.
Look here, "The seller has a
lien on the purchaser's chattel"
Now I know we're the purchaser,
but who the hell is chattel?
They must have spelled it wrong.
They probably think we're rich
Texans and they meant cattle.
Chattel means everything we
own: Furniture, stove, refrigerator,
TV, clothes, everything!
Ma, they can take everything!
James, what have we signed?
I got a feeling we gonna be
an unfurnished naked family.
How could a brother rip us off?
It's easy, Michael.
Don't forget now,
Benedict Arnold was
somebody's brother too.
Well, baby, that
was some fine meal.
Well, thank the lord
we had enough to eat.
Yeah, but you know if
we go for that encyclopedia
hokey-doke, this table going
to be down to poke and grits.
What's poke and grits, Daddy?
Son, that's when you
ain't got nothing to eat,
you poke out your
lips and grit your teeth.
It's all my fault.
No.
It's not your fault,
baby, we're all to blame.
We were just trying
to help out a blind man.
Yeah, if he's blind.
What you mean by that, James?
Oh, now think about it, baby.
This cat comes in here
fumbling and stumbling,
bumps into a few
things, tells us he's blind
and we fall for the jive.
And me signing that contract,
I fell for it worse
than anybody,
gave him the last $5 I had.
Now wait a minute, y'all.
I got a great idea how
we can get out of this thing.
Listen to this,
we lock the door,
pack our bags, and
before he gets here
we go down to the
Ambassador East Hotel,
get a suite and lay there
until this thing blows over!
J.J., where we going
to get the money
to stay at the Ambassador East?
I took the ball to
the one-yard line,
let somebody else carry
it over for the touchdown.
It's Willona's answering service
with the latest
batch of messages
for the Evans family.
Not that I'm complaining, James,
but what is happening
with the telephone?
Nothing, I ain't paid the bill.
Oh... Any calls for me, Willona?
There sure was, honey,
Eddie called, he
wants to take you
to the basketball
game Saturday night.
Oh, really?
Uh-huh, and Jimmy called,
he wants to take you to the
basketball game Saturday night.
Uh-oh.
And Larry called,
he wants to take you
to the basketball
game Saturday night.
What, all three of them?
Mm-hmm. Oh no, what
I'm going to do now?
Are you hip to eeny,
meeny, miny, moe?
Well, now that we
dispensed with the small fry,
let's get onto the biggie.
Yeah. Anyway.
J.J.?
Yes, Ma?
I'll give you a "Yes, Ma."
Lay it on me, Willona,
how many females
been calling panting
for their Saturday
evening reservations
with Kid Dy-no-mite?
You had one call, Fred Thompson.
Oh, Fred Thompson?
Now, Fred Thompson is
worth millions of Thelma calls.
My main man, Fred. My
down home partner, Fred!
What my main running mate want?
He wants you to ask Thelma
to go to the basketball
game with him Saturday night.
Looks like Kid Dy-no-mite
is a wet firecracker.
And Flo, you had one
call from Thora Fuller.
You know your friend
that's had 11 kids
and about to have
another one any day?
Well, what was the message?
Help! Oh, Willona!
And James, you had
a call from the carwash.
Oh good, they want me to come in
tomorrow for the
weekend business, huh?
No, they're expecting
a heavy rainstorm,
they're not even going
to open the place up.
Boy that's great, just great!
Take on debt and lose, you pay.
Tell you, if it
wasn't for bad luck,
we wouldn't have
no luck at all. Damn.
See, White folks is right,
we are happy carefree people.
Wa-ow!
♪ Camptown ladies sing
this song Doo-da, doo-da ♪
♪ Camptown ladies
Five miles long ♪♪
Hey Willona, could
you wind down?
I could wino!
I'll see you all later.
Okay. That girl's crazy.
You know something, baby,
that about rips it, though.
With no weekend money
coming from the carwash,
ain't no way in the world we can
afford them encyclopedias now.
When that dude gets here
with that phony hustle tonight,
we just gonna have
to sock it to him.
But, James, we could be wrong,
how do we know
he isn't really blind?
Florida, I bet you that
dude could see a roach
tap dancing a mile away.
Wait, let me get it, baby.
Junior, get on the floor
and lay down by the door.
Now, I'm going to show
you just how blind this cat is.
Oh, James.
I said lay down on the
floor by the door, man.
Oh, come on, Dad, I ain't
laying down on no floor.
I beg your pardon?
I was just laying
down on the floor.
Come in.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, see?
I told you, you satisfied now?
Man, I done seen
some cons in my time,
but you take the
cake trying to run
that phony blind job on us.
If you're talking about
that person laying there
on the floor, I
heard him breathing.
Oh, now come on. I wasn't
breathing, Dad, honest.
I heard him breathing clearly.
Do you think I'd pretend I lost
one of God's most
precious gifts?
You think I'd commit a blasphemy
like that just to sell
an encyclopedia?
Damn right.
We can't be sure.
Maybe this will convince you,
it's a Photostat copy of
my Army medical records.
This happened in Korea.
Korea?
Yeah, the Yalu
River, 91st Recon.
91st Recon?
Hey, man, you the
cats that replaced us.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Hey look, I hate to ask you
to get me out of another hole,
man, but we can't
deal with that contract,
you all got too
many clauses in it.
You got clauses in there to turn
us every which way but loose.
And the company's going to
take away everything we've got
if we can't keep
up them payments.
Hey, that's terrible, I didn't
know nothing about them clauses.
Look, I'd like to tear your
contract up, but I can't.
I already turned in a
signed copy of it to my boss.
Well, what are we going to do?
We're not blaming you,
but we're in a lot of trouble.
Don't worry, Mrs. Evans,
I'm not going to
let that company
take advantage of
you good people.
I'm going to call up
my boss right now
and get him to
straighten this thing out.
Where's the phone, please?
Well, it's right over here.
Oh, but you can't do that...
No problem, I dial by feel.
No, no...
I'll settle this with
my boss right now.
No, Mr. Anderson,
you don't understand,
my wife is trying to explain...
Anderson here,
Mr. Fields, please.
Mr. Fields, Anderson.
Say I'm over here at the...
Say, I'm over here
at the Evans' place
and they tell me there
are some irregularities
in their encyclopedia contract.
No, I want you to
tear that contract up
and call the whole thing off.
But you can't do that, Fields,
you're cheating these people.
No, you listen to me,
if you don't tear
up that contract, I...
He hung up on me.
That makes me mad
enough, I ought to just quit.
Man, you quit when
you picked up that phone.
You know something, man,
you ain't nothing but a
no-good phony hustler.
What are you talking about?
Mr. Anderson, can
you read Braille?
Of course.
Good, what do this say?
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself,
making fake phone calls.
I don't understand
what you're talking about.
No, well maybe
you'll understand this.
Hello, operator,
give me the police.
Police, I want the Bunko squad.
Hello, Bunko squad?
We've got a blind man
here who is full of bunk.
Sure, I'll hold on for a minute.
You've got sixty seconds,
and then I'm turning you in.
And give me my $5, man.
Look here.
Hello, police, it was
a false alarm, sorry.
Mr. Anderson, goodbye.
Hey, just tell me one thing.
What's that?
How'd you know my
phone call was fake?
The phone is disconnected.
Ah, then your call was fake too?
That's right.
So you out-conned me?
Have mercy.
Wow, how could you
do that to a blind brother?
Mr. Anderson, you may be blind,
but you ain't no
brother of ours.
You lie, you cheat, you steal.
You're a disgrace
to blind people.
In fact, you're a
disgrace to all people.
You through, Mrs. Evans?
Yeah.
Then let me tell you something:
Blind people are just
like everybody else,
you take the good with the bad.
So long, brothers.
You know something, James?
I got a feeling he was blind
long before he lost his sight.
Kids, I'm sorry about the books. I
know how bad you wanted them.
That's all right,
Dad, no problem.
And Ma, you were
brilliant on that phone call.
You are the best
actress I ever saw.
Thelma's right. What was
she on the phone everybody?
She was dy-no-mite!
Hey, you ready for this, baby?
Here's a letter from the
phone company asking us
if we'd like to switch to
one of them push button
princess phones
with a choice of colors.
Now listen now,
including robin's egg blue,
sunflower yellow
or boudoir beige.
Well, it was nice
of them to ask,
but I think we better
stick to basic black
and hope we can find
basic green to pay for it.
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
Good Times is recorded on tape
before a live audience.
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪