Good Times (1974–1979): Season 2, Episode 24 - The Lunch Money Rip-Off - full transcript

After he gets picked on by the school bully, Michael decides to take a different approach and invite him over for the weekend.

♪ Good times Any time
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♪ Good times Any
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♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
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♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit
rip-offs Good times ♪

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♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

Hurry up, Michael, you're late.

Get up in the morning,
go to school, come home,

study, go to bed, get up again,

I just can't keep it
up anymore, Mama.

This rat race is killing me.

Well, that's the problems
you older men have to face.

There's your lunch and
here's a quarter for milk.

Thanks, Ma. Have a nice day.

Thank you, sweetheart.


Get in here!

Hey, you better be cool.

Hand it over man.

Hand what over?

Come on, come on.

Hey, man. Eddie, you know

it's against the rule to stop
the elevator like that. Give me!

Yeah, well rules are made
to be broken like your fingers.

Oh, yeah? Yeah?

Hey, man, Eddie, cut it out.

Get off of my lunch.

Come on, Eddie, this is
the third time this week

you taking my lunch.
I'm getting sick and tired.

If you so hungry why don't
you join the free lunch program?

Already have,
Evans, and you are it.

Hey, man, I get hungry too
what am I supposed to do?

Why don't you sign up
for the free lunch program?

You really funny, Eddie.

Yeah, well, don't complain, man.

It's harder on me
than it is on you.

How do you figure?

This is the third day in a
row that you've had meatloaf.

Well, that's just too
tough, give it back.

Look out, Evans.

And don't think that I
forgot about that quarter,

now you give.

I don't have one today.

You think I'm real
dumb, don't you,

Mr. Straight-A Student?

Take it out of our shoe.

Oldest trick in the world.

Only a jive turkey would
try to pull that kind of con.

And starting tomorrow the
price goes up to 35 cents.


Inflation man.

It's tough on the
small businessman too.

I wouldn't tell
anybody about this

or the Tooth Fairy is going
to be working overtime

at your house tonight.

Bye, sucker!

Oh, no.

For once I'd like to
see a button roll out

into the middle of the floor
instead of under the sofa.

If you care anything about
someone who's been working

since 6:00 this morning, come
out from under there please.

Hey, baby, look here,
if your point is nine,

I've got two dollars
says you can't make it.

Hi, James.


Honey, I lost a button.
Can you help me?

Sure. Be glad to.

$300 you cheater.

How can cheat at Monopoly?

I know I had a
hotel on Boardwalk

before I went to the bathroom.

Well, you was in there so long,

when you came back
the hotel was condemned.

All right you two stop
that hassling now.

Yeah, can't you see that
Ma and Dad are praying.

I found your button, baby.

Oh, thanks, honey. Look
what I found... a quarter.


Hey that must be mine.
Probably fell out of my pajamas

last night when I was sleeping.

What were you doing with
money in your pajamas?

I take out Diana Ross
a lot in my dreams,

and I don't want her to
think I'm a cheap skate.

You're a head case.

J.J., you ought to leave
your brain to science,

it's never been used.

You ought to leave
your face to science,

they'd come up with a
new bride of Frankenstein.

All right, all right stop it.
Now get out of my way.

Florida, where's all the
food in this refrigerator?

Ain't nothing here but some
cold air and a lonesome light bulb.

Honey, with the
price of food today,

the only way that
thing is going look full,

is if we get a
smaller refrigerator.

Might as well unplug it then,

this ain't nothing but
a 500-pound icemaker.

James there's still
plenty to eat in there.

Yeah, but what
happened to that piece

of sweet potato
pie I was saving.

Now who would do
something like that?


Don't look at me, Dad. The
same thing happened to me.

I wanted to make my
favorite sandwich today,

peanut butter and jelly,

but there was no peanut butter

and there wasn't no jelly.

So I was forced to make
a Ghetto Jam Sandwich.

Two pieces of white
bread jammed together.

Something funny is
going on around here.

I was saving a
chicken wing yesterday

and it was gone before dinner.

Well, maybe what we've got in
the house is a phantom nibbler.

Unless the roaches learned
how to open the refrigerator.

It ain't no phantom,
James. It's Michael.



Every day this week he's
been coming home and running

straight to that refrigerator

and then he eats a full
dinner a half hour later.

Well, I'm glad the
boy's eating good,

but why such a big
appetite all of sudden?

He's a growing boy, James.

Yeah what's he growing,
Wilt Chamberlain?

Michael has been
kind of touchy lately.

Maybe he's not feeling well.

He looks fine to me.

Well, the answer's obvious.

That's right, he's been touchy,

he's been eating
twice as much, that's it.

What's it?

Michael's pregnant.

Do you ever get to
feeling like I do sometimes,

we might have brought the
wrong baby home from the hospital?

Hi, everybody.

Michael, I want to have
a talk with you, mister.

Sure, Daddy.

Are you feeling all right?

Yeah, great.

Michael did you eat
your lunch today?

Um, yeah, Mama I ate it.

You sure you ate everything?

Even that apple I put in there.


That's strange. I haven't
put an apple in his lunch

for two weeks now.

Oh, um, excuse I gotta
go to the bathroom.


Michael, you haven't been eating
your lunch all week have you?

No, I've been giving
it away to a poor kid.

To a poor ki...?

Well, we'll just sign up
for a care package ourself.

Now Michael, it's nice of you
to care about someone else,

but skipping your own
lunch isn't healthy for you.

In this case it is, Mama.

Now wait a minute, Michael.

I want to hear
about all of this,

and I want to hear it right now.

I can't tell you, Daddy.
I'll get a beating.

Oh, Michael, now
you know your daddy

wouldn't hit you
for telling the truth.

Daddy's not the one
I'm worried about.

Wait a minute son, have you
been giving your lunch away,

or somebody just been taking it?

I demand to plead
the Fifth Amendment.

Some jive time junior
flipping, ripping Michael's lunch.

He's been taking your
milk money too, huh?

I'll kill him.

Michael why didn't you
tell us about this before?

Because Michael's smart,

the dude's probably
some eight-foot monster

make Mean Joe Green
look like Little Bo Peep.

No J.J., Eddie's my
size, but he's tough.

Wait a minute Michael,
you say Eddie's your size?


All right, then Daddy's going

to tell you how
to deal with him.

Now tomorrow when Eddie
comes and try to take your lunch

from you say,
"Hey look here man,

"I can't give you my lunch

because I get
hungry later myself."

If he don't go for that
then you drive on his face.

James, what an awful
thing to teach your child.

You know violence
only begets violence.

Well, that's all right, baby,
because in this case Michael

gonna be giving and
Eddie going to be getting.

Daddy, I don't think I have
to fight if I use my head.

You know, Michael,
I think you're right.

There must be a lot of
ways to avoid that bully.

Sure, you could have someone
sneak your lunch into school

and hide your
quarter in your shoe.

Hide my quarter in my sh...

Thelma that's oldest
trick in the world.

Only a jive turkey would
try to pull a con like that.

Florida, you're
kidding yourself,

either you stand up to
a bloodsucker like this

or he bleeds you for
the rest of your life.

That's right, Michael.
You can handle this.

If you need any
tips, I'll help you.

You looking at the lightweight
champion of the ghetto.

You're only lightweight
from the neck up.

Sit down J.J., nobody's
teaching him how to fight.

But, Ma, I can help him,

because there ain't
nobody gonna pick a fight

with the brother
of Kid Dy-no-mite!

Look here, Michael, it's
all in the arms and legs.

You just got to start bouncing
and moving on the man.

Give him a right, right, right,
right, right, left, follow up,

right, right, upper-cut,
upper cut, get out of there,

come on move on, get in there,
move on, keep your body moving.

If all this don't
work use your legs.

To kick?

No, to run.

Thanks J.J., but I
don't plan on fighting.

You're right, Michael.
It never does any good.

Now wait a minute, let me
hip both y'all to the facts of life.

Now there's some people out
there ain't nothing but animals

and they make you
fight them to survive.

If you don't fight them
they just keep picking at you

and picking at you until
you ain't got nothing left.

Now you can do one
of two things, son,

you can either talk to them
or you can run from them.

But it ain't going
to do no good,

so you got to handle
yourself like a man.

James, the boy is
only 12 years old.

Florida, that ain't all that
young in this neighborhood,

and you can't baby
this child forever.

See, Michael, sometimes
you've got to make your stand

right up front, that's
how you get by.

And that's why you going to
make your stand right up front

because you going to stand
up to this punk tomorrow.

Florida, you've been
working on the same sleeve

for the last 20 minutes now.

What you going to do
this shirt, iron it or fry it?

I'm worried, James.

Michael should have
been home a half hour ago.

I just know that bully has
beat him up and he's laying

down in the gutter
somewhere all alone.

He won't be alone,
Ma. Not around here.

Probably some wino
lying right next to him.

Shut up, Junior.

Cheer up, Mom. Michael
can take care of himself.

Yeah, baby, I mean, even if
he gets messed up a little bit,

he's still doing
what he had to do.

James, don't say that.

Hi, everybody.


Hey. Honey, are you all right?

Sure, Mama.

Oh, stop babifying him,
I'm sure he's all right.

That's my son. Ain't
got a mark on him.

I hate to see what that
Eddie looks like now.

You can see for yourself, Dad.

I invited him to stay
the weekend with us.

Come on in, Eddie.


Hey, this don't look like a
bad set-up to kill a weekend.

You got anything
around here to eat, man?

Not for you, Jack.

You ain't gonna be here
long enough to gum a grape.

Who's that old dude?

Who's that...?! James, please!

This is my mother, my sister
Thelma and my brother J.J.

And that's the door, use it.

Dad has a way of making
people feel right at home.

And this is my father.

Hey, is this guy going
to be here all weekend?

Sure he is.

You mean you
got a live-in father?

That's right, and as
long as I'm in, you out.

Man you didn't
tell me about him.

That's right, keep walking
while you still can, mister.

Wait a minute. Daddy,
I asked him to come.

And I'm telling him to
go. I don't need no hassle.

There won't be any, Eddie.

Nobody's going to
hurt you, believe me.

Now why don't you go
into our bedroom for a while.

James and I would
like to discuss this.

Michael, show him the bedroom.

Okay. Come on, Eddie.

Florida, ain't no way
in the world that boy

going to stay in here one
more minute. He is going.

Maybe, James, but
after we discuss it.

Michael, what you mean
bringing that hoodlum in here?

Why didn't you punch his
lights out like I told you to?

Daddy, I think I
have a better idea.

Yeah, let me fight him.
I'll rearrange his face.

Oh, no, J.J., he might
end up looking like you.

Will you two stop that
and let Michael finish?

Well, I got to
thinking about Eddie.

He gets the lowest
grades in the whole class,

the teacher makes fun of him
and all the kids laugh at him.

Now that ought make
anybody to feel bad,

so I told him I could
help him pass his final test

if he could stay the
weekend with us.

Oh, Michael, that's
a wonderful idea.

Oh, Michael,
that's a lousy idea.

Why, Daddy?
Eddie's not a dumb kid,

if he'd just take
the time to study,

he could pass the sixth grade.

Yeah, but, son, I
don't understand,

why do you want to help somebody

that's ripping off your lunches?

Dad, the answer's obvious,

if Eddie goes into
the seventh grade,

he'd be ripping off
somebody else's lunch.

No, J.J., that's not it.

Daddy, I figure,

how can you steal from
somebody who helps you?

Oh, Michael, I am proud of you.

James, he handled
that like a man.

And he didn't have
to use violence either.

Oh, Lord, I can
appreciate all that,

but that boy didn't come here
to study. That child is an animal.

That's right and I don't
want him in the house.

Let his probation officer
take him for the weekend.

He's just a little boy. We
can keep an eye on him.

I'd like to put my hands on him.

Daddy, what harm can he do?

Thelma, I have seen
kids like Eddie before

and they ain't no good.

James I have seen
kids like Eddie too.

Now for some reason
they fall behind in school

and things keep going
from bad to worse

and before you know it they
just give up on themselves.

Baby, what you want
me to do about it?

Give him a chance, Daddy.

If we don't who will?

Now, if things keep going
the way they are for him,

before he's 18 he's
going to end up in jail

or dead on the street somewhere.

Come on, Dad, it's
just for a weekend.

Yeah, Dad, don't worry
about it. We can handle him.

Well, I don't like it.

James, if Michael
is willing to help a kid

who has been bullying him,

the least we can
do is let him try.

All right, Florida, all right.

Now he can stay for the weekend,

but I'm telling you if the
boy causes any trouble

in this house, out!

I agree.

Probably in the
bedroom right now

ripping off everything we own.

Oh, James.

Don't worry abut it, Dad,

if anything's missing
I'll spot it in a second.

In ghetto detective circles

I'm known as the nappy Kojak.

Hey, I can't take it
anymore in there.

Can't take what?

Man, what you looking at?

Oh, I get it. Okay, fellows
you got me. Go ahead.

Frisk me, search me, come on!

Just jiving, Eddie, just jiving.

Should I, Dad?

Eddie, you're welcome to
stay the weekend with us.

No more hassles from
that undercover toothpick?

Who you calling
toothpick, shorty?

You, you broomstick with teeth.

Now that's it,
man. Get him, Dad.

Shut up, Junior.

Eddie, did you ask
your mother if it's all right

for you to stay
over the weekend?

No, she don't care.

I stay out for days
sometimes if I want.

So does she.

Hey, Eddie, you can share
the couch with J.J. and I.


That's if you don't mind
sleeping three in a bed.

Wow, in my house
that's a room to my own.

We sleep six to a bed.

Hey, when do we eat?

Pretty soon. I hope you like
what we're having for dinner.

Ain't no reason he shouldn't,
he loves what we have for lunch.

Eddie is here to study now.

Right, Eddie?

Huh? Oh, yeah I'm
thinking of letting Michael

show me some of them
straight-A student tricks, yeah.

You got a real sharp crib here.

Boy, get your
feet off that table.

Hey, Eddie, do you
want to do some studying

before dinner man?

No, I think I'll just relax.

Come on, everybody.
Dinner's ready.

Hey, all right.

No, no, no Eddie
you sit over there.

Eddie, in this house
we pray before we eat.

Go on.

Time for prayer, Edward.

Since you're the guest, Eddie,
why don't you say the prayer?

Me, I don't know none.
Besides, it's dumb.

We don't think so. It
makes us feel good.

Besides, it's the only time
of day that the whole family

shares the same thought.

Okay, Michael, would
you like to say the blessing?

We thank the Lord for the
food we're about to receive

and for all our blessings.

Bless those both near and far.

We thank thee for our
home and for all the people

who are at the table tonight.

Amen. Amen.

Well, baby, you make
the best chocolate cake

in the whole world.

Yeah, Mom, you should
enter a Pillsbury bakeoff

and put it under the "Mm,
mm, mm, good" category.

Thank you. Did
everybody have enough?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It was good. I'm about to bust.

I think even Eddie got enough,

compared to the way he
ate the rest of his dinner.

He's just picking at the cake.

Do you have any more?

I'm sorry, Eddie, that's it.

How about another biscuit?

Oh, sure, help yourself.

Eddie, honey, you
don't have to do that.

You can have as
many as you want.

I'll leave them on the
table if you want me to.

Come on, nobody's going
to take it away from you.

Mama, may Eddie and I be
excused from the table please?

Sure, honey.

Come on, Eddie. It's
time to hit the books, man.

Okay, man.

Show me those straight-A
student tricks to pass tests.

There are no tricks,
man. You have to study.

You mean really study, Evans?


Man, you're weird.

Come on man, let's start
on page 73, chapter six.

Now... Why don't
you go on without me,

studying is for suckers anyway.

Hey, where you
think you're going?

Hey, man, Mike's studying,
and I don't want to bother him.

Well, you get back in
there and finish, man.

You see, in this house people
study when they're supposed to.

Good thing I'm not a
member of this house.

Well, you are this weekend.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you heard of
the extended family?

Well, this weekend you
part of one which gives me

a right to extend this belt
to your behind if I feel like it.

Ho, ho, I'd like to see that.

Oh, you would, huh?

Well, anything to
oblige a guest mister.

Man, you've got
to be kidding, man.

Come on in here.
You must be crazy.

I'm a man believe this! I'll
make a believer out of you!

James. Huh?

You know the boy got it coming,
now get your behind in here.

I hope your father
doesn't go overboard.

Mama, you think Daddy really
going to give Eddie a spanking?

Is a bean green?

Can James Brown get down?

Is your head dead?

That sounded like a
6.5 on the Richter Scale.

Well, you know how your father

is about studying,
he means business.

The question is, which
beating did he get?

Well, as we all know, Dad
has three in his repertoire.

The regular, the
super, and the Big Mac.

The Big Mac is right. It
can really warm your bun.

Did that make you feel good?

Didn't make me feel bad.

Nobody ever spanked me before.

Well, that's
because we just met.

Somebody should've
a long time ago.

I got news for you, I
held back on you, mister.

If that's holding back, I hate
to be around when you let go.

My own kids would
have a gotten a lot worse.

They would?

You know it.

Well, one thing
we know for sure,

he didn't get the Big Mac.

He's still walking.

Hey, Eddie, my father
really laid it on you, huh?

Yeah, he laid it on.

I thought stuff like this only
happened in the movies.

Are you kidding, man?

One time I didn't
do my homework,

and my father did
some homework on me.

I don't get him.


Looks like he got
the Big Mac after all.

What you want, man,
another piece of me?

Don't worry, I'm splitting.

You ain't got to go Eddie.
You can stay if you want to.

Eddie, there's something
you've go to understand.

Now, we discipline our
kids because we love them.

If we didn't love them,
we wouldn't take the time.

He don't love me.

How do you know?

Come on.

Loving is caring, Eddie.

You don't have to be
a member of this family

for us to care about you.

That's right. My father
could have thrown you out

a long time ago.

Sure could've.

How come you didn't?

You could save
me from running out.

Well, Eddie, it might be
because I do care a little.

You what?

I said it might because
I do care a little.

I didn't know somebody
could beat on you

and care at the same time.

Michael, what page did
you say we was on again?

73, chapter six, man.

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪