Good Times (1974–1979): Season 2, Episode 2 - J.J. Becomes a Man: Part 1 - full transcript
J.J. is turning 18 and Florida and James decide to give him some new art supplies as well as a fancy new case. Unfortunately, James is denied credit due to the fact that he was late on a few payments over the years and as a result they have to give J.J. a much cheaper present. Later that night after a small gathering in the Evans' apartment, J.J. gets arrested for allegedly holding up a liquor store. Now the family begin to worry that J.J.'s 18th birthday will wind up with him doing time in prison.
♪ Good times Any time
you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪
♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit
ripoffs Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪
Ooh, baby, that's a big cake.
It's got to be big
to hold 18 candles.
Yeah, I can't
believe it... Junior, 18.
Boy, it seemed
like just yesterday,
I was looking at him through
the maternity ward window,
making faces at him, huh?
And he was making
faces right back.
Yeah, I remember
the first time I saw him.
The doctor was holding him
after he took him from me...
Mm-hmm.
And there was J.J.,
upside down, backside out,
squirming all over the place
and yelling a mile a minute.
Yeah, and he's been
that way for 18 years.
He was a beautiful baby.
Mm-hmm.
I still remember
how nervous you got,
first-born and all.
What you talking about, Florida?
I was cool.
Oh, sure, you were real cool.
When we checked
out of that hospital,
you paid the bill,
gave the nurse a cigar,
and picked up a white baby.
Come on, Florida.
Oh, I was just teasing.
Hey, this ain't
going to be easy.
What's that, baby?
Putting all this lettering
on this cake that J.J. wanted.
He wrote down exactly
what he wanted...
"Happy Birthday and
many happy returns
to our beloved
first-born son, J.J."
Well, that's nice.
"Who has given us
"nothing but joy and pleasure
"for the last 18 years...
Oh, that's a lot of words.
"And who will continue
to give us the same joy
"and pleasure" during
the years to come...
Well, Florida, how you
going to get all that...
I ain't finished yet.
"And who will be our pride
and joy "in our old age...
Baby, no way in the world
you're going to get that...
Wait.
"Signed,
Your grateful parents,
mom and dad."
You're going to have
to add one more line...
"To be continued
on the next cake."
Hi, y'all.
Hey, Willona. How you doing?
How's it going?
Girl, I had a rough time
figuring out what to get J.J.
I asked myself, "What would
an 18-year-old boy want?"
Well...
I know, but it's pretty hard
to giftwrap an 18-year-old girl.
What did you get him?
I got him this groovy shirt.
Had it made up special
by a custom tailor.
A custom tailor?
James, there ain't too
many ready-made shirts
going to fit your
son's beautiful body,
so I said to the tailor,
"Think of a telephone pole,
"add extra-long sleeves,
and you've got it."
Yeah. Junior always
was a problem.
We used to have to put
a net under his high chair,
because he kept
slipping through.
Oh, Willona, did
you stop at the store
and pick up the
present we got for J.J.?
Oh, honey, I forgot,
but don't worry,
I've got to go pick up
J.J.'s shirt right now,
and I'll stop by and get it.
Mm, that's good.
You're sure you don't mind
keeping it at your place?
No trouble at all.
It's just that we want it to
be a real surprise for J.J.
He's been nosing around
trying to find out what
everybody's giving him.
Yeah, he's as nosy as I am.
Nobody is, Willona.
You are the champ.
Later for you, James.
Sure is a pretty cake.
Wait till you see it
with the 18 candles.
18... What a great age.
I had that many candles
on my cake when I was 14.
When you were 14?
Mm-hmm, when I was
14, I wanted to be 18,
and when I was 18,
I wanted to be 25,
and when I was 25,
I decided to blow
out the candles,
freeze the cake,
and stop the clock.
I'll see you all at dinner.
Catch you later.
Take it easy now.
Boy, baby, I can't wait to see
the expression on Junior's face
when he sees them
presents we got him.
Ooh, he's going
to paint up a storm
when he sees those
new paints and brushes.
And he's going to really flip
over that genuine leather
case with his own initials on it.
$75.
You know, that's real big time.
You don't think we
went overboard, do you?
Mm-hmm.
What the hell, baby?
I mean, it's our sons's big
day. He's going to be 18.
I want to give him
something better
than I got when I turned 18.
What was that? A draft notice.
James, you are a great father.
Well, why do you say
it so surprised, baby?
You knew the night you married
me you had a great husband.
Well, how did we do it, Florida?
What did it take to
get Junior to be 18?
Guts.
Hey, Ma, I got J.J. the
bacon-flavored potato chips,
but I didn't bother to look for
the other crazy thing he wanted.
What was that, Thelma?
A soul food pizza...
Tomato and cheese,
sprinkled with chitlins
and black-eyed peas.
See, I told you.
That boy is still upside
down and backside out.
It's a wonder he didn't ask
for fatback fortune cookies.
He did.
That's my brother.
Mama, can you
make a bow on this?
I can't do it.
Sure, honey.
Hey, Michael, what
did you get Junior?
A book.
On black history, right?
No, on white history.
You bought a book
on white history?
Yeah, it's the story of
how for the last 300 years,
the whites have been
holding down the Blacks.
For a minute there,
I thought the militant midget
had jumped to the other league.
Never.
I won't rest until our people
have everything the whites have.
We've already got it...
Unemployment, inflation,
taxation, aggravation.
You're right, baby.
When it comes to misery,
they sure gave us equal rights.
Amen.
Here I am...
18 today,
happy, bright, narrow
man, and pure dy-no-mite.
It's a good thing you're 18.
Now you can be a fool legally.
Since today is such
a joyous occasion,
I'll ignore that insult
that slipped through
your five-and-dime lipstick.
Dear mother,
I know how happy you
are to see your glorious son
turn into magnificent manhood...
And dear father,
I can remember the
first time we met...
Peering at me through
the maternity-ward window,
making faces.
Well, family, are
y'all ready for this?
Are y'all ready
for the big news,
the big announcement?
I got myself a job.
That's not news.
That's a miracle.
J.J.,
you're not thinking about
dropping out of school?
Yeah, because
you can forget that.
Coming of age may
have gone to your head,
but it ain't going
to keep my strap
from getting to your butt.
No, Dad, it's just a
few hours after school.
What kind of job is it, J.J.?
Big, Michael,
really, really big.
I'll be ringing doorbells
all over Chicago.
Don't tell me you
became an Avon lady.
No, Ma.
You're looking at the newest
personal representative
of the instant,
speedy, rapid-fire
delivery service.
J.J., take out the yeast,
and just say you're
a messenger boy.
That shows how much you know
about big
business, little sister.
I'll have you know they put me
in their elite courier division.
I'll be carrying valuable things
like stocks, bonds,
and get-well cards.
Hey, it sounds good.
When do you get started?
As soon as I get bonded,
you know, to make sure
I'm clean and
everything like that,
but I ain't worried,
because I'm a model citizen.
Okay, Speedy, so how
much you getting paid?
The man says this is a
wonderful opportunity.
Salary is not important.
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
That's what they've
been telling me all my life,
and they prove it
by what they pay me.
Mm-hmm. Well, if
you'll excuse me,
I've got to get ready
for my birthday dinner.
Okay, son.
Oh, Mom?
Mm-hmm?
Did you get all
those special things
I wanted for my dinner?
J.J., I'm so sorry,
but soul food pizza
is not in season
this time of the year.
That's all right, Ma,
as long as you
got my main dish...
Turkey stuffed with pork chops,
basted in Kool-Aid.
Ma, is he really your son,
or is someone
trying to punish us?
I heard that.
Good.
Want to hear it again?
Willona, did you get
the package put away?
Is something wrong?
I don't know how
to tell you this.
Tell us what? I
didn't get the present.
James, they turned
down your credit.
Oh, you've got to be jiving.
I don't think she is.
There's got to be some mistake.
I mean, we've been shopping
at Wilton's department store
for years, baby.
They've got computers now
that make all the decisions,
and according to the
computer, your credit is zero.
Why, Daddy?
Ah, who knows, baby girl.
Ain't no telling.
Could have been something
that happened years ago.
I mean, I missed a
payment one month,
but I made up for
it the next month.
It don't matter, James.
They got it on the computer.
Computer?
Now, what does a computer
know about how honest a man is?
And what does a computer
know about what a father's feeling
when he wants to buy
something special for his son?
Honey, we can still get
him some little something.
Babe, I don't want to
get him a little something.
I mean, he's 18 today.
I want to get him
something to remember.
Florida, I'm telling you, baby,
it hurts deep down in here.
I'm a man and a
father. I ain't no number.
I'm going down to that store
and tell them what
the hell they can do
with them jive turkey computers.
Hey!
Could y'all save some
of that happy noise
for my birthday party?
Thank you.
James, it isn't going
to do you any good
to let it eat you up.
But, Florida, it
just ain't right.
Now, I've been an
honest man all my life.
Now I got some damn
computer bad-mouthing me.
Well, if it was a
man, I'd bust it in two,
but what you supposed
to do with a computer?
Blow its fuse?
Don't blow yours.
Look, James, you can
always buy the art supplies
from another store.
We'll tell J.J. there
was a slight mix-up,
and it'll be a day late.
Yeah, but, Florida,
you don't understand
how these things work.
You know what they
told me down at the store?
They said that this
computer feeds information
to all other computers
all over the country.
Right now I couldn't get
credit in an Eskimo trading post
on a used igloo.
Damn.
You plan something
big for your son,
and now it's spoiled.
Well, don't spoil it worse.
I had a couple of dollars,
and I sent Thelma
to buy him a sweater.
A sweater.
Boy, that's a hell of a comedown
from $75 worth of art supplies
and your own
special carrying case.
I know a sweater ain't much,
but it's something.
But, baby, Junior was
expecting something big.
How do you know?
Because he said
to me the other day,
"Dad, I'm expecting
something big."
Oh, honey, let's
make the best of it.
We'll have a nice
dinner, we'll be pleasant
and act as if there's
nothing wrong.
Baby, that's going
to take a lot of acting.
Oh, you can do it, James.
You can do anything.
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy Birthday, dear J.J.
Happy Birthday to you ♪♪
All right.
All right, speech, J.J., speech.
Speech, man.
I'm so overwhelmed,
words fail me.
But I'll force myself!
Today is the proudest
moment of my life,
when I officially pass
from boyhood into adultery.
Now, that better
be a slip of the lip,
or I'm going to knock you back
into boyhood again.
Just jiving, just jiving,
but seriously, folks,
it's wonderful to
share this occasion
with all the people I love,
and I'd like to thank
you all in advance
for the wonderful presents
I'm about to receive.
J.J., blow out the candles.
Okay, Ma.
And don't forget to make a wish.
J.J., will you blow
out the candles?
Okay.
Oh, come on, you
can do better than that.
Now, J.J., either you
get a bigger chest,
or stop down at the
gas station for more air.
Just using one lung, ma.
Well, use them both.
All right, all right.
Give me a plate.
Okay, honey, you
cut the first slice.
Okay, Ma.
Mm, looks good.
I'm telling you.
J.J.!
That looks like a
gigantic twinkie.
A gigantic something.
Look at that. Stop it.
Hey, J.J., what did you wish?
I wished that I could be so rich
that I could sit
back in my Cadillac
and have a Big Mac...
With my chauffeur
spoonfeeding me
French-fried onion rings.
Well, if you don't get
some meat on them bones,
you can use an onion
ring for a life preserver.
Right on, Daddy.
Enough of this merriment.
Let's get on to the main event.
Bring on the presents!
Junior, you know the
thing about presents
is it ain't how big they are,
but it's just the
thought behind it.
Yeah, the important
thing is that we care,
and we love you.
Yeah, I know that, Mama.
Now, bring on the presents.
Let's see how much love I got.
Ooh, look at that.
Look at that.
Ooh, you've got some love today.
Pretty.
That one's from me, J.J.,
and many happy returns.
Gee, Michael, what a surprise...
A book about the
oppression of brothers.
Hey, man. Who told you?
Remember? Me and
you sleep together,
and you're the little guy
who talks in his sleep.
So what? You
used to wet the bed.
Moving on.
Next, Thelma's wonderful cap.
How'd you know that?
Did a little search-and-seizure
in your room the other day.
All the colors I wanted, too.
That's not the one I bought you.
I know, I already exchanged it.
Did you see that, Ma?
I saw it, and now, moving on.
Boy, when the
chicks see this hat,
I'm going to have
wall-to-wall hickeys.
Stop it.
Now, a custom-made
shirt from Willona.
He's an ebony Kojak.
Now, that's class.
Ooh, Willona.
Conservative, but that's class.
Yeah, go for that.
Now for the biggie.
The pièce de résistance
from Mom and Dad,
what I've been
waiting for all this time,
just what I always wanted...
A sweater.
That's pretty.
Real nice.
That's nice.
Threading is a
little extra, huh?
Where's the art supplies?
Uh, Junior.
Where's them
paints, them brushes,
that leather carrying
case with my initials on it?
Come on, y'all,
stop jiving me now.
There's something
I want to tell you.
I want to know.
I've been looking for
this. Where's this at?
I can paint anywhere I want to.
Don't keep me hanging.
Where is it, y'all?
There is no carrying
case and no art supplies.
You jiving.
The sweater is all we got.
Yeah, that's it, son.
I want to apologize,
because we wanted to get you
everything you wanted...
But we ran into a problem.
Yeah, I found out
after working my tail off
all my life that my word
and my name don't mean nothing.
I don't understand, Dad.
Well, they've got some
computer down at the store
that flashes the
word all over the world
that my credit ain't no good.
It just ain't right.
You're damn
right it ain't right!
Ain't none of us nothing
but a bunch of numbers
in them computers.
They pick up on you
on the day you're born
and just pass the
information around
like a plate of grits.
Dad, I don't care
what that stupid computer says.
You have more character
and integrity than anybody.
Yeah.
Well, thanks, baby
girl. Thanks, Michael.
Son, all I want
to say is I'm sorry.
Sorry?
What y'all worried about?
Who needs a fancy
leather carrying case
with my initials on it anyway?
I'm a ghetto artist.
Oh, J.J., you really did
want it, though, didn't you?
No, Ma. Now, don't go
putting yourself down.
It was a groovy dinner.
There were a lot of
out-of-sight presents,
and I thank all y'all.
You mean that, son?
Of course I do.
Well, all right.
Now, if y'all excuse me,
I've got to go pick up
my date, Henrietta?
Date? But I thought
you were going
to stay home with us tonight.
Oh, didn't I tell you?
Must have slipped my mind.
You know, now that I'm 18,
you've got to learn to share me
with the rest of the
women in the world.
Hey, thanks a lot again
for making my
party a groovy gig.
Thank you.
Have a good time, honey.
See ya, J.J.
Well, that date
sure came up fast.
Well, baby, he's at that age
where he got that natural itch.
He just wants to
do a little scratching.
Right on.
Dad, do you think
J.J. was disappointed
about not getting that present?
Oh, not too much, Thelma.
You know your brother.
Old Junior will bounce back
just like a rubber ball.
Yeah, when you're 18,
the world is your oyster,
and when you don't
find a pearl in it,
you just open another oyster.
Guess you're right.
Well, looks like
the party's over.
You want me to help you
with the dishes, honey?
No, thank you, Willona.
I think I can manage it.
I'm glad you said that,
because I hate washing dishes.
Besides, I've just got enough
time to get back to my pad
and look at my favorite TV show,
The Waltons.
The Waltons is
your favorite show?
Yeah, it's going to be
a great show tonight.
It starts off
where they can't
pay the mortgage,
the horse dies,
the mule gets a migraine,
and the drugstore's closed,
and then it gets sad.
I'll see y'all later.
Ma, let me help you clean up.
No, you've got homework to do.
You'd better get on it.
You too, Michael.
Okay, Ma.
Well, the birthday party
didn't turn out too bad
after all, did it, James?
No, baby, as a matter
of fact, it was a nice party.
Yeah, and you know
what I was thinking?
Hmm?
A couple of more birthdays,
and we'll be going
to his wedding.
That's something I
can't get ready for yet,
the idea of Junior
getting married.
Hmm. Boy, I can just see it.
All the people
packed in the church,
sitting there nice and
quiet and dignified.
Preacher's standing up,
getting ready to
give the sacred vows,
and here comes Junior,
strutting down the aisle...
Mr. Preacher, I does.
Oh, maybe by then,
he'll be more like you...
Real serious.
You know,
I still remember you
coming down the aisle...
All serious,
looking straight ahead,
taking small, careful steps.
I had to.
I borrowed them
shoes from my uncle,
and they were just
about to eat my corns up.
Oh, but you relaxed at
the wedding party, though.
Yes, Lord.
You remember our first dance?
How could I forget it?
♪ It had to be you... ♪
Wasn't that it? That's it, yes.
♪ It had to be you ♪
♪ I wandered around ♪
♪ Finally found ♪
♪ Somebody who ♪
♪ Could make me Feel blue ♪
♪ Could make me feel true ♪
♪ I'd even feel glad ♪
♪ Just to feel sad
Thinking of you ♪
♪ Some others I've seen... ♪
♪ With all your
faults I love you still ♪
♪ It had to be you ♪
♪ Wonderful you ♪
♪ It had to be you ♪
Mm, have mercy.
♪ It had to be you ♪
♪ It had to be you ♪
♪ I wandered around ♪
♪ Finally found me
Somebody who... ♪
Oh, my God.
How can I tell Ma and Dad?
Ma? Daddy?
Ma? Daddy?
Yes. What's the matter, Thelma?
I have some real bad news.
What? What is it,
child? What is it?
Monty just told me
he saw J.J. being taken
away in a police car.
A police car? Oh, James.
They arrested him
for holding up a liquor store.
What?
Oh, James.
Daddy!
Could J.J. have wanted
the art supplies that much?
Oh, God, no.
No, no, James, no.
No!
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
Good Times is recorded on tape
before a live audience.
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪
you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪
♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit
ripoffs Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪
Ooh, baby, that's a big cake.
It's got to be big
to hold 18 candles.
Yeah, I can't
believe it... Junior, 18.
Boy, it seemed
like just yesterday,
I was looking at him through
the maternity ward window,
making faces at him, huh?
And he was making
faces right back.
Yeah, I remember
the first time I saw him.
The doctor was holding him
after he took him from me...
Mm-hmm.
And there was J.J.,
upside down, backside out,
squirming all over the place
and yelling a mile a minute.
Yeah, and he's been
that way for 18 years.
He was a beautiful baby.
Mm-hmm.
I still remember
how nervous you got,
first-born and all.
What you talking about, Florida?
I was cool.
Oh, sure, you were real cool.
When we checked
out of that hospital,
you paid the bill,
gave the nurse a cigar,
and picked up a white baby.
Come on, Florida.
Oh, I was just teasing.
Hey, this ain't
going to be easy.
What's that, baby?
Putting all this lettering
on this cake that J.J. wanted.
He wrote down exactly
what he wanted...
"Happy Birthday and
many happy returns
to our beloved
first-born son, J.J."
Well, that's nice.
"Who has given us
"nothing but joy and pleasure
"for the last 18 years...
Oh, that's a lot of words.
"And who will continue
to give us the same joy
"and pleasure" during
the years to come...
Well, Florida, how you
going to get all that...
I ain't finished yet.
"And who will be our pride
and joy "in our old age...
Baby, no way in the world
you're going to get that...
Wait.
"Signed,
Your grateful parents,
mom and dad."
You're going to have
to add one more line...
"To be continued
on the next cake."
Hi, y'all.
Hey, Willona. How you doing?
How's it going?
Girl, I had a rough time
figuring out what to get J.J.
I asked myself, "What would
an 18-year-old boy want?"
Well...
I know, but it's pretty hard
to giftwrap an 18-year-old girl.
What did you get him?
I got him this groovy shirt.
Had it made up special
by a custom tailor.
A custom tailor?
James, there ain't too
many ready-made shirts
going to fit your
son's beautiful body,
so I said to the tailor,
"Think of a telephone pole,
"add extra-long sleeves,
and you've got it."
Yeah. Junior always
was a problem.
We used to have to put
a net under his high chair,
because he kept
slipping through.
Oh, Willona, did
you stop at the store
and pick up the
present we got for J.J.?
Oh, honey, I forgot,
but don't worry,
I've got to go pick up
J.J.'s shirt right now,
and I'll stop by and get it.
Mm, that's good.
You're sure you don't mind
keeping it at your place?
No trouble at all.
It's just that we want it to
be a real surprise for J.J.
He's been nosing around
trying to find out what
everybody's giving him.
Yeah, he's as nosy as I am.
Nobody is, Willona.
You are the champ.
Later for you, James.
Sure is a pretty cake.
Wait till you see it
with the 18 candles.
18... What a great age.
I had that many candles
on my cake when I was 14.
When you were 14?
Mm-hmm, when I was
14, I wanted to be 18,
and when I was 18,
I wanted to be 25,
and when I was 25,
I decided to blow
out the candles,
freeze the cake,
and stop the clock.
I'll see you all at dinner.
Catch you later.
Take it easy now.
Boy, baby, I can't wait to see
the expression on Junior's face
when he sees them
presents we got him.
Ooh, he's going
to paint up a storm
when he sees those
new paints and brushes.
And he's going to really flip
over that genuine leather
case with his own initials on it.
$75.
You know, that's real big time.
You don't think we
went overboard, do you?
Mm-hmm.
What the hell, baby?
I mean, it's our sons's big
day. He's going to be 18.
I want to give him
something better
than I got when I turned 18.
What was that? A draft notice.
James, you are a great father.
Well, why do you say
it so surprised, baby?
You knew the night you married
me you had a great husband.
Well, how did we do it, Florida?
What did it take to
get Junior to be 18?
Guts.
Hey, Ma, I got J.J. the
bacon-flavored potato chips,
but I didn't bother to look for
the other crazy thing he wanted.
What was that, Thelma?
A soul food pizza...
Tomato and cheese,
sprinkled with chitlins
and black-eyed peas.
See, I told you.
That boy is still upside
down and backside out.
It's a wonder he didn't ask
for fatback fortune cookies.
He did.
That's my brother.
Mama, can you
make a bow on this?
I can't do it.
Sure, honey.
Hey, Michael, what
did you get Junior?
A book.
On black history, right?
No, on white history.
You bought a book
on white history?
Yeah, it's the story of
how for the last 300 years,
the whites have been
holding down the Blacks.
For a minute there,
I thought the militant midget
had jumped to the other league.
Never.
I won't rest until our people
have everything the whites have.
We've already got it...
Unemployment, inflation,
taxation, aggravation.
You're right, baby.
When it comes to misery,
they sure gave us equal rights.
Amen.
Here I am...
18 today,
happy, bright, narrow
man, and pure dy-no-mite.
It's a good thing you're 18.
Now you can be a fool legally.
Since today is such
a joyous occasion,
I'll ignore that insult
that slipped through
your five-and-dime lipstick.
Dear mother,
I know how happy you
are to see your glorious son
turn into magnificent manhood...
And dear father,
I can remember the
first time we met...
Peering at me through
the maternity-ward window,
making faces.
Well, family, are
y'all ready for this?
Are y'all ready
for the big news,
the big announcement?
I got myself a job.
That's not news.
That's a miracle.
J.J.,
you're not thinking about
dropping out of school?
Yeah, because
you can forget that.
Coming of age may
have gone to your head,
but it ain't going
to keep my strap
from getting to your butt.
No, Dad, it's just a
few hours after school.
What kind of job is it, J.J.?
Big, Michael,
really, really big.
I'll be ringing doorbells
all over Chicago.
Don't tell me you
became an Avon lady.
No, Ma.
You're looking at the newest
personal representative
of the instant,
speedy, rapid-fire
delivery service.
J.J., take out the yeast,
and just say you're
a messenger boy.
That shows how much you know
about big
business, little sister.
I'll have you know they put me
in their elite courier division.
I'll be carrying valuable things
like stocks, bonds,
and get-well cards.
Hey, it sounds good.
When do you get started?
As soon as I get bonded,
you know, to make sure
I'm clean and
everything like that,
but I ain't worried,
because I'm a model citizen.
Okay, Speedy, so how
much you getting paid?
The man says this is a
wonderful opportunity.
Salary is not important.
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
That's what they've
been telling me all my life,
and they prove it
by what they pay me.
Mm-hmm. Well, if
you'll excuse me,
I've got to get ready
for my birthday dinner.
Okay, son.
Oh, Mom?
Mm-hmm?
Did you get all
those special things
I wanted for my dinner?
J.J., I'm so sorry,
but soul food pizza
is not in season
this time of the year.
That's all right, Ma,
as long as you
got my main dish...
Turkey stuffed with pork chops,
basted in Kool-Aid.
Ma, is he really your son,
or is someone
trying to punish us?
I heard that.
Good.
Want to hear it again?
Willona, did you get
the package put away?
Is something wrong?
I don't know how
to tell you this.
Tell us what? I
didn't get the present.
James, they turned
down your credit.
Oh, you've got to be jiving.
I don't think she is.
There's got to be some mistake.
I mean, we've been shopping
at Wilton's department store
for years, baby.
They've got computers now
that make all the decisions,
and according to the
computer, your credit is zero.
Why, Daddy?
Ah, who knows, baby girl.
Ain't no telling.
Could have been something
that happened years ago.
I mean, I missed a
payment one month,
but I made up for
it the next month.
It don't matter, James.
They got it on the computer.
Computer?
Now, what does a computer
know about how honest a man is?
And what does a computer
know about what a father's feeling
when he wants to buy
something special for his son?
Honey, we can still get
him some little something.
Babe, I don't want to
get him a little something.
I mean, he's 18 today.
I want to get him
something to remember.
Florida, I'm telling you, baby,
it hurts deep down in here.
I'm a man and a
father. I ain't no number.
I'm going down to that store
and tell them what
the hell they can do
with them jive turkey computers.
Hey!
Could y'all save some
of that happy noise
for my birthday party?
Thank you.
James, it isn't going
to do you any good
to let it eat you up.
But, Florida, it
just ain't right.
Now, I've been an
honest man all my life.
Now I got some damn
computer bad-mouthing me.
Well, if it was a
man, I'd bust it in two,
but what you supposed
to do with a computer?
Blow its fuse?
Don't blow yours.
Look, James, you can
always buy the art supplies
from another store.
We'll tell J.J. there
was a slight mix-up,
and it'll be a day late.
Yeah, but, Florida,
you don't understand
how these things work.
You know what they
told me down at the store?
They said that this
computer feeds information
to all other computers
all over the country.
Right now I couldn't get
credit in an Eskimo trading post
on a used igloo.
Damn.
You plan something
big for your son,
and now it's spoiled.
Well, don't spoil it worse.
I had a couple of dollars,
and I sent Thelma
to buy him a sweater.
A sweater.
Boy, that's a hell of a comedown
from $75 worth of art supplies
and your own
special carrying case.
I know a sweater ain't much,
but it's something.
But, baby, Junior was
expecting something big.
How do you know?
Because he said
to me the other day,
"Dad, I'm expecting
something big."
Oh, honey, let's
make the best of it.
We'll have a nice
dinner, we'll be pleasant
and act as if there's
nothing wrong.
Baby, that's going
to take a lot of acting.
Oh, you can do it, James.
You can do anything.
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy Birthday, dear J.J.
Happy Birthday to you ♪♪
All right.
All right, speech, J.J., speech.
Speech, man.
I'm so overwhelmed,
words fail me.
But I'll force myself!
Today is the proudest
moment of my life,
when I officially pass
from boyhood into adultery.
Now, that better
be a slip of the lip,
or I'm going to knock you back
into boyhood again.
Just jiving, just jiving,
but seriously, folks,
it's wonderful to
share this occasion
with all the people I love,
and I'd like to thank
you all in advance
for the wonderful presents
I'm about to receive.
J.J., blow out the candles.
Okay, Ma.
And don't forget to make a wish.
J.J., will you blow
out the candles?
Okay.
Oh, come on, you
can do better than that.
Now, J.J., either you
get a bigger chest,
or stop down at the
gas station for more air.
Just using one lung, ma.
Well, use them both.
All right, all right.
Give me a plate.
Okay, honey, you
cut the first slice.
Okay, Ma.
Mm, looks good.
I'm telling you.
J.J.!
That looks like a
gigantic twinkie.
A gigantic something.
Look at that. Stop it.
Hey, J.J., what did you wish?
I wished that I could be so rich
that I could sit
back in my Cadillac
and have a Big Mac...
With my chauffeur
spoonfeeding me
French-fried onion rings.
Well, if you don't get
some meat on them bones,
you can use an onion
ring for a life preserver.
Right on, Daddy.
Enough of this merriment.
Let's get on to the main event.
Bring on the presents!
Junior, you know the
thing about presents
is it ain't how big they are,
but it's just the
thought behind it.
Yeah, the important
thing is that we care,
and we love you.
Yeah, I know that, Mama.
Now, bring on the presents.
Let's see how much love I got.
Ooh, look at that.
Look at that.
Ooh, you've got some love today.
Pretty.
That one's from me, J.J.,
and many happy returns.
Gee, Michael, what a surprise...
A book about the
oppression of brothers.
Hey, man. Who told you?
Remember? Me and
you sleep together,
and you're the little guy
who talks in his sleep.
So what? You
used to wet the bed.
Moving on.
Next, Thelma's wonderful cap.
How'd you know that?
Did a little search-and-seizure
in your room the other day.
All the colors I wanted, too.
That's not the one I bought you.
I know, I already exchanged it.
Did you see that, Ma?
I saw it, and now, moving on.
Boy, when the
chicks see this hat,
I'm going to have
wall-to-wall hickeys.
Stop it.
Now, a custom-made
shirt from Willona.
He's an ebony Kojak.
Now, that's class.
Ooh, Willona.
Conservative, but that's class.
Yeah, go for that.
Now for the biggie.
The pièce de résistance
from Mom and Dad,
what I've been
waiting for all this time,
just what I always wanted...
A sweater.
That's pretty.
Real nice.
That's nice.
Threading is a
little extra, huh?
Where's the art supplies?
Uh, Junior.
Where's them
paints, them brushes,
that leather carrying
case with my initials on it?
Come on, y'all,
stop jiving me now.
There's something
I want to tell you.
I want to know.
I've been looking for
this. Where's this at?
I can paint anywhere I want to.
Don't keep me hanging.
Where is it, y'all?
There is no carrying
case and no art supplies.
You jiving.
The sweater is all we got.
Yeah, that's it, son.
I want to apologize,
because we wanted to get you
everything you wanted...
But we ran into a problem.
Yeah, I found out
after working my tail off
all my life that my word
and my name don't mean nothing.
I don't understand, Dad.
Well, they've got some
computer down at the store
that flashes the
word all over the world
that my credit ain't no good.
It just ain't right.
You're damn
right it ain't right!
Ain't none of us nothing
but a bunch of numbers
in them computers.
They pick up on you
on the day you're born
and just pass the
information around
like a plate of grits.
Dad, I don't care
what that stupid computer says.
You have more character
and integrity than anybody.
Yeah.
Well, thanks, baby
girl. Thanks, Michael.
Son, all I want
to say is I'm sorry.
Sorry?
What y'all worried about?
Who needs a fancy
leather carrying case
with my initials on it anyway?
I'm a ghetto artist.
Oh, J.J., you really did
want it, though, didn't you?
No, Ma. Now, don't go
putting yourself down.
It was a groovy dinner.
There were a lot of
out-of-sight presents,
and I thank all y'all.
You mean that, son?
Of course I do.
Well, all right.
Now, if y'all excuse me,
I've got to go pick up
my date, Henrietta?
Date? But I thought
you were going
to stay home with us tonight.
Oh, didn't I tell you?
Must have slipped my mind.
You know, now that I'm 18,
you've got to learn to share me
with the rest of the
women in the world.
Hey, thanks a lot again
for making my
party a groovy gig.
Thank you.
Have a good time, honey.
See ya, J.J.
Well, that date
sure came up fast.
Well, baby, he's at that age
where he got that natural itch.
He just wants to
do a little scratching.
Right on.
Dad, do you think
J.J. was disappointed
about not getting that present?
Oh, not too much, Thelma.
You know your brother.
Old Junior will bounce back
just like a rubber ball.
Yeah, when you're 18,
the world is your oyster,
and when you don't
find a pearl in it,
you just open another oyster.
Guess you're right.
Well, looks like
the party's over.
You want me to help you
with the dishes, honey?
No, thank you, Willona.
I think I can manage it.
I'm glad you said that,
because I hate washing dishes.
Besides, I've just got enough
time to get back to my pad
and look at my favorite TV show,
The Waltons.
The Waltons is
your favorite show?
Yeah, it's going to be
a great show tonight.
It starts off
where they can't
pay the mortgage,
the horse dies,
the mule gets a migraine,
and the drugstore's closed,
and then it gets sad.
I'll see y'all later.
Ma, let me help you clean up.
No, you've got homework to do.
You'd better get on it.
You too, Michael.
Okay, Ma.
Well, the birthday party
didn't turn out too bad
after all, did it, James?
No, baby, as a matter
of fact, it was a nice party.
Yeah, and you know
what I was thinking?
Hmm?
A couple of more birthdays,
and we'll be going
to his wedding.
That's something I
can't get ready for yet,
the idea of Junior
getting married.
Hmm. Boy, I can just see it.
All the people
packed in the church,
sitting there nice and
quiet and dignified.
Preacher's standing up,
getting ready to
give the sacred vows,
and here comes Junior,
strutting down the aisle...
Mr. Preacher, I does.
Oh, maybe by then,
he'll be more like you...
Real serious.
You know,
I still remember you
coming down the aisle...
All serious,
looking straight ahead,
taking small, careful steps.
I had to.
I borrowed them
shoes from my uncle,
and they were just
about to eat my corns up.
Oh, but you relaxed at
the wedding party, though.
Yes, Lord.
You remember our first dance?
How could I forget it?
♪ It had to be you... ♪
Wasn't that it? That's it, yes.
♪ It had to be you ♪
♪ I wandered around ♪
♪ Finally found ♪
♪ Somebody who ♪
♪ Could make me Feel blue ♪
♪ Could make me feel true ♪
♪ I'd even feel glad ♪
♪ Just to feel sad
Thinking of you ♪
♪ Some others I've seen... ♪
♪ With all your
faults I love you still ♪
♪ It had to be you ♪
♪ Wonderful you ♪
♪ It had to be you ♪
Mm, have mercy.
♪ It had to be you ♪
♪ It had to be you ♪
♪ I wandered around ♪
♪ Finally found me
Somebody who... ♪
Oh, my God.
How can I tell Ma and Dad?
Ma? Daddy?
Ma? Daddy?
Yes. What's the matter, Thelma?
I have some real bad news.
What? What is it,
child? What is it?
Monty just told me
he saw J.J. being taken
away in a police car.
A police car? Oh, James.
They arrested him
for holding up a liquor store.
What?
Oh, James.
Daddy!
Could J.J. have wanted
the art supplies that much?
Oh, God, no.
No, no, James, no.
No!
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪
Good Times is recorded on tape
before a live audience.
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪♪