Good Times (1974–1979): Season 2, Episode 18 - The Debutante Ball - full transcript

♪ Good times Any time
you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit
ripoffs Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪



♪ Good times ♪♪

J.J., I hope you're
getting dressed.

You don't want to
be late for your job.

Oh, you don't have to
worry about that, baby.

He's really excited
about this one.

I don't blame him...

Usher in an uptown
fancy movie house.

And J.J.'s a real
good usher too.

He sure does know
how to give orders.

When he gave me that
free pass the other night,

he was outside saying,
"Okay, everybody,

"the picture breaks
in five minutes

"so keep to the right, please.

"Don't crowd the sidewalk.



"Everybody, keep to your right.

Moving on."

I bet they listened.

I know I did, Mama. I
was the only one on line.

Hello.

Just a minute.

J.J., telephone. It's Henrietta.

What is it about me

that makes women
interrupt my bathroom time?

Yeah, Henrietta,
what is it this time?

No, I can't take
you out tonight.

I have a previous engagement.

Now, don't get hysterical.

Life is full of little
disappointments,

Don't worry, you'll get over it.

Sar-on-ara.

Son, you tell me something.

How come you got such
an independent attitude

towards Henrietta
all of the sudden.

I thought she was
your main dish.

She was, Dad, but I
changed the menu.

All she is now is
yesterday's leftovers.

What are you
talking about, J.J.?

Family, are y'all
ready for this?

I have met Clarissa Robinson.

Love has trucked into my life,

and we are doing a
lot of double clutching.

Well, if you don't stop
changing trucks so much,

you're going to
strip your gears.

Aw, Ma, Clarissa
is the real thing.

She has a figure

that makes the number
eight look like the number one,

and a smile that
lights up the night,

and it all belongs
to Kid Dyn-o-mite.

Junior, you go
through this routine

every time you meet a new girl.

Yeah, you always think
you found something better,

then you run right
back to Henrietta.

You're not too
bright, Kid Dyn-o-mite.

Y'all don't understand.

Clarissa's different.

She's class with a capital "C",

like in Cadillac...

which she happens to drive.

Junior, she drives her own hog?

What kind of girl you
got here, anyhow?

A loaded one.

She lives on the south shore.

South shore?

That's where all
the rich blacks lives,

They so fancy,

they eat their fried
chicken broiled.

J.J., how'd you happen to meet

a girl like that?

In the movie house.

I personally escorted
her down the aisle.

It was dark, so I took her hand,

and the minute
our hands touched,

we knew it was love.

How?

My flashlight lit up,

and it didn't have
no batteries in it.

Junior, you're sure

you ain't making all of this up?

No, Dad. I took
her out three times.

Her father's a
big-time businessman.

And, Ma, you should
see their house.

Eight rooms...

That don't include
the three bathrooms.

They got one bathroom upstairs,

one bathroom downstairs,

and one little itsy-bitsy one

in what they call
the "entry hall."

That's in case you can't make
it to the upstairs or downstairs.

Well, if ya'll excuse me, I
got to get ready for work.

Just look at him,
strutting like a peacock.

Why not, baby? He
ain't short on hens.

Oh, James.

It doesn't make sense.

If Clarissa is anything
the way J.J. described her,

what she running after him for?

Very simple, Thelma,
because he's his father's son.

Baby, what I'm trying to say is,

before we got married,

I used to date a
lot of rich girls too.

You know Emma Watson?

You talk about bathrooms...

Three of them, hmm?

Her family had 96 of them.

Oh come on, now, James.

I'm not jiving, baby, 96.

Of course, they ran a
string of pay toilets, though.

Now, what I'm
trying to say, baby,

is that there's something
about the Evans men

that seems to attract
all kinds of women,

both plain and fancy.

I know all about you Evans men.

I just don't want to
see J.J. hurt, that's all.

What you mean, baby?

Oh, you know how J.J. is.

Every time he meets a new girl,

he goes flying
out into the clouds,

and most times,

he comes falling back to earth

without a parachute.

J.J.

You're going to wear
your uniform to work?

That's right, Mom.

I turn Clarissa on
when I wear my uniform.

Okay, J.J., about Clarissa,
don't get too involved, huh?

Just think of her
as another girl.

Well she's not
just another girl.

This is it, I mean all
the other girls I met

were just oleomargarine.

But Clarissa is
100% pure butter.

And I am her corn on the cob.

Hello?

Who's calling?

Just a minute. J.J.

It's Clarissa.

Hello.

This is the love of
your life speaking.

Of course, I'm available
for Saturday night.

For you, I always am.

Hey, yeah, you
know I got a tuxedo.

Doesn't everybody?

Hey, that's sounds like

it's really going
to be something.

All right. I'll talk to
you later, Clarissa. Bye.

J.J., what's going on?

So she don't dig
me, huh, little girl?

I'll have you know,

she just invited
me, Brother J.J.,

to the 10th Annual South
Shore Debutante Ball.

Debutante Ball?

You mean to say they
still have them things?

They sure do, James.

That's the big social event
of the year for black society,

They always have a big
spread about it in The Defender.

J.J., stop lying.
She invited you?

Not invited, begged.

Well, I'm going to be
escorting a debutante.

I guess that makes
me a debu-dude.

My son is moving up.

Well, why not,
baby? Like I told you,

there's something
about the Evans men.

All right.

Before you get too
carried away, Mr. Big Shot,

what about that tuxedo
you told her you had?

Oh, that ain't no
problem, Thelma.

I'm going to stroll over
to Charlie's Mortuary

and see can I borrow
one if they ain't using it.

Dad, if it's all the
same with you,

I'd rather rent one.

I feel better knowing the
tuxedo moves when I do.

Well, goodbye,
Mater. Goodbye, Pater.

Goodbye, little Brater...

and goodbye, Sater.

Crazy. This whole
thing is crazy.

What's she running
after him for. Why?

Thelma, your
brother is a fine boy,

and beautiful in his own way.

I can see why any girl
would be interested in him.

That's right.

Now you're all
beginning to realize...

That there's something
about the Evans men.

Right on.

One, two, step. One, two.
One, two, step. One, two, step.

Yow!

Oh, Ma, what did I do wrong?

I thought I was
light on my feet.

You were, J.J., but you
was heavy on my cones.

Aw, Ma, what do I have to
learn how to waltz for anyway?

Because those debutante Balls

always start off with the waltz.

Honey, just try to think of it
as soul in three-quarter time.

Tonight's the big night.
Let's try it once more.

One, two, step, one, two,
step, one, two, step, one two.

One, two, step, one, two, step,
one, two, step, one, two, step.

Ow!

It's one, two, step,
not one, two, kick.

Aw, Ma, it ain't no use.

The music may be for waltzing,

but my body's
built for boogeying.

You're body wasn't built.

It was manufactured
in a toothpick factory.

Have you got some of
your lumberyard pine trees?

All right! Now that's enough.

J.J., we'll pick up
the dancing later.

Right now let's run through

some of the other
things you ought to know

about these fancy shindigs.

The important thing is

to look down your
nose at everybody.

Look down your
nose at everybody.

That's good. That's a
great down-the-nose look.

Another thing is
your conversation.

Now, what people with
money talk about is money,

so if anybody asks
you about the economy,

you just look real big

and say, "The reason
people are unemployed today

is because they're not working."

But that don't
make no sense, Ma.

That's why it's
perfect economy talk.

Hey, Junior, where
you on your way to?

I'm going down to pick up
my tuxedo at the rental place.

Do ya'll realize, family...

Do ya'll realize...

This is my first shot
at the major leagues,

my first tuxedo, my
first South Shore Ball.

Look out world, I feel so rare.

Here come the
debu-dude a'struttin' it!

Baby, I ain't never
seen Junior so excited.

He's 10 feet off the ground.

I mean, he's like a tall,
skinny Prince Charming.

Well, this is the biggest thing

that ever happened to J.J.

I bet they gonna have his
name on the society page,

I could just see it.

"Miss Clarissa Robinson and
her escort, James Evans, Jr."

You know something, James?

I think we're all getting

just as big a kick
out of this as J.J.

Yeah, you right on that, baby.

Yeah, even me.

Well...

Oh, Mrs. Evans?

Yes.

I'm Clarissa Robinson.

Oh, what a nice surprise.
Come in, come in.

J.J. will be so pleased
you stopped by.

Oh, I'm not so sure.

What's the matter?
Is something wrong?

Yes. I've come to tell him
he can't take me to the ball.

Oh, Daddy.

Clarissa, what do you mean
he can't take you to the ball?

I don't know how to say this,

but my parents feel
he's not the right type.

What the hell you mean
he's not the right type?

Sorry. I'm Junior's daddy.

You excuse me.

Oh, how do you do?

Fine. How do you do?

What the hell you mean
he's not the right type?

We ain't talking about
no damn blood bank.

Daddy, please. No!

James, stop
yelling at the child.

I ain't yelling at
the child, baby,

I'm yelling at her parents.

Got their nose stuck
so far up in the air,

it'd break your neck
just to talk to them.

I know how you feel, Mr. Evans,

and I'm as upset
about it as you are.

We had a big fight about it
and I walked out on them.

That's serious business, child.

I know, Mrs. Evans,

but it's been coming
for a quite a while now,

and I've got to talk
to someone about it.

Of course.

Come, come, sit down, honey.

Clarissa, walking
out on your parents

is still serious business.

Are you sure you
did the right thing?

You're damn right she did.

Clarissa, my husband
does know other words

besides "hell" and "damn."

Yeah, I know, but right now,

those are the best words
to describe how I'm feeling.

My son is out there
picking out a tuxedo,

spending his hard-earned money,

looking forward to the
biggest night in his life,

just to come home and
get hit with a sledgehammer.

I'm sorry, it's my parents.

They had this boy
picked out for me,

and when I told
them at the last minute

I'd only go with J.J.,
they got hysterical.

I kept telling them
how much I like J.J...

He's such fun and
he's so talented...

But they wouldn't
even listen to me.

They just kept on and on at me

until finally I just had
to get out of there.

It's all right, it's all right.

We understand
about your parents.

No, we don't, neither.

Clarissa, this is my
daughter, Thelma.

Thelma, why don't you
take Clarissa to your room

and let her relax for a minute?

Sure, Ma. Come on, Clarissa.

What am I gonna tell J.J.?

Oh, baby, this really
makes my jaws tight.

My main concern is J.J.

He's going to be heartbroken.

How are we going to tell him?

We're going to have
to tell him just like it is,

that the South
Shore done gave him

a swift kick in the south side.

Hey!

Ain't this something?

I'm gonna make all
of them debu-dudes

look like debu-duds.

I tell you, Ma,

it looked so sharp
when I put it on,

I just couldn't take it off.

J.J., you came
through the street

dressed like that?

That's right, Ma.

A mugger walked up to me,
didn't ask me for no money,

asked me for the first dance.

Okay, let's get back to
them waltzing lessons,

In these threads I'm ready
to do some high stepping.

Come on, Mama, let's get down!

J.J.! J.J.!

Mama, when me and
Clarissa hit that first waltz,

I want everybody to know

that I'm the ebony Fred Astaire
and she is my Ginger Rogers.

J.J... Mama don't
feel much like dancing.

Come on, Dad, that leaves you.

You look much better
than the mugger.

I think you'd better
slow down, son.

Just slow down, now.

I can't, Dad.

My motor is running
and I can't stop.

Boy, I'm gonna dance
all night at that ball.

Man, I tell you,

if I wear out my running
shoes, I ain't worried,

because I got on my red socks.

Clarissa... what
are you doing here?

You're not supposed
to pick me up.

I'm supposed to pick you up.

And how come you ain't dressed?

J.J., we're not
going to the ball.

We're not going to the ball?

That's what I was
trying to tell you, son...

Clarissa's parents don't think

you're the right
person to take her.

Why, Ma?

You got the wrong
address, Junior.

Your zip code don't make it.

J.J., she walked out on
her parents because of it.

What?

If you're not going to the ball,

I'm not going...

And I'm not going
back home either.

Hey, Clarissa, now don't get
in no hassle with your parents

on my account.

I mean I got plenty of
things that I could do tonight...

as soon as I think of them.

Well, I'd better get
out of this tuxedo,

I got it rented for 24 hours.

Maybe I could sublease it.

Oh, Florida, this really
makes me mad now.

I mean, I just don't like this.

You know J.J. He'll get over it.

I know that, Thelma,
and it ain't this dance.

I could give less than a damn
about some stupid dance.

I just don't like the idea

of somebody
putting down our son.

I know.

We're Mr. and Mrs.
Robinson, Clarissa's parents.

Well...

Well, welcome to the ghetto.

How you all get in
here, posed as spooks?

Mom, Dad?

We had a feeling you'd be here.

Yes, we've had enough
foolishness out of you,

young lady.

Now get your
things and let's go.

I'm not going.

Mr. and Mrs. Robinson,

I think there are some
things we should talk over.

Won't you come in?

Thank you.

Now, wait, baby, wait, wait.

Before they come in,

maybe we ought to spray
the place down with Lysol

so they don't
contaminate anything.

Clarissa, let's
not make a scene.

Please get your things.

Yes, the faster we get
out of here, the better.

Yeah, ain't you all heard?
There's niggers in here.

We didn't come here
to fight, Mr. Evans.

We only want our daughter home.

Clarissa?

I said, I'm not going, Ma.

Clarissa!

Maybe you'd better
go, sweetheart.

Ma, Clarissa said
she doesn't want to go.

Thelma, let me finish.

Mr. and Mrs. Robinson,

I don't like your
way of thinking,

and I don't like the
way you've hurt our boy,

but I do believe
it couldn't hurt you

to spend a little bit more time

listening to your daughter.

Clarissa, I was thinking that...

Oh, Mr. and Mrs.
Robinson, I should say hello,

but from the expression
on your faces,

I think I'll say goodbye.

Uh-uh, Junior.
This is your home...

This is one place

you don't break
and run from nobody.

Now, come on back here.

I think I'd rather, Dad.

I said, come back here, Junior.

How do you all do?

Can I offer you
all some Kool-Aid?

Junior, you don't offer
Kool-Aid to Mr. and Mrs. Oreo.

See, it's got to be
imported champagne

with custom-made bubbles,

ain't that right, cookies?

That cuts it. That
cuts it, Mr. Evans!

I think it's time you
and me get down!

Get down?! Listen to him.

Get down!

Well, that's pretty hip talk

for somebody from
uptown, ain't it?

And where in the hell
do you think I worked

before I got uptown?

I was right here.

Now, I busted my
butt a lot of years

to get out of here,
and I made it.

Now, you make it sound

like "success" is a
dirty word, Brother.

No, "success"
ain't the dirty word,

it's "forgetting",

forgetting where you
came from, Brother.

Damn right, I'm forgetting.

I don't want to know

the stink of the ghetto no more,

and that goes for my
wife and my daughter.

Well, what the
hell you think I want

for my family, man?

What you think I'm
fighting and scratching for?

And I'll tell you something,

if we are lucky
enough to make it,

there's one thing
we ain't going to do,

we ain't going to forget
the ones that got stuck here.

Right on, daddy.

All I know is I've paid my dues,

and I'm going to make sure
that my daughter has the best.

And what makes you
think our son isn't the best?

Yeah?

All right, he's a nice
boy, but he's here.

Now, you can talk all
you want about getting out,

but you know it's a
million to one shot.

Mr. Robinson, I want
to show you something.

What do you think of this?

Yeah, how about this?

And this one.

They're very unusual, Gene.

Yeah. Very powerful.

This is our son's way

of cutting down those
million-to-one odds.

He painted these?

He certainly did, Daddy.

They're really very good.

That is, if it don't bother you

to be reminded of
where you came from.

I'll tell you what...

Oh, no, no, no,
they ain't for sale.

What? Not to you.

You heard what my husband said,

J.J.'s paintings
are not for sale,

and neither is J.J.

Well, I was going to give
you a hundred dollars.

I'll take it!

Shut up, Junior. Shut up, J.J.

All right, then.

Clarissa, are you
gonna go back home?

On two conditions, Daddy,

that I don't have to go to
that dumb dance tonight,

and that I can still
keep on seeing J.J.

No.

It's okay.

All right, all right.

Now that we're
not going to the ball,

where are we
going to go tonight?

Let's go get a Big Mac.

Sounds great!

Okay, I'll be with you
in a couple of minutes.

Where you going?

I'm going to put on my tuxedo.

I got it rented, I
might as well use it.

Now don't come
home too late, now.

We won't.

Mrs. Evans, thanks.

You're welcome, sweetheart.

See you later, Junior.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Robinson,

it looks like they were
good enough for each other.

Yeah, for the moment.

But actually,

Clarissa's going away to
college in a couple of weeks,

a long way away,

and as far as these
paintings are concerned,

I thought they might be a
good business investment,

but that's all your
son meant to us.

What do you mean by that?

Oh, no, no, no... James!

That's all right,
it's all right, Baby.

The man's just
telling it like it is.

He's the kind of man gotta
say what's on his mind,

just like me, huh, Brother?

Right.

That's why I'm saying get
the hell out of my house.

Get the hell out, both of you!

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how it all
Looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times, good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

Good Times is recorded on
tape before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em? ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪