Good Times (1974–1979): Season 1, Episode 4 - God's Business Is Good Business - full transcript

From Television
City in Hollywood:

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a friend ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Anytime you're
out from under ♪

♪ Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled ♪

♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪



♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Scratching and surviving ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Hanging in a chow line ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

Thelma?

Run down to the shoemaker's

and get Michael's
shoes from the shop

before he closes.

I can't, Mama.



I just finished washing my hair.

Oh.

Junior, I guess you're
going to have to go.

Oh, Mama. Why do I got to go?

Why can't Michael go?

'Cause I got no shoes.

Michael...

Aw. Yesterday, I
had to take 'em down,

today I've got to
bring 'em back.

I'm wearing out my
shoes getting his.

Just go.

Hey, JJ, while you're at it,

here's a dollar.

Get me a tube

of Soft and Satin Pretty Lips.

For a dollar,

I'll paint a pair of
lips on you myself,

and a face to go along with it.

Why don't you grow a
beard and disappear in it?

Do you hear that, Mama?

The only thing I want to hear

is that front door
hitting your backside!

Now, get the child's shoes
before he grows out of them.

Look at this, a
17-year-old flunky

for an 11-year-old midget.

Mama, are we ever
going to get a color TV?

We don't need no color TV.

We know the sky is blue
and the grass is green.

Are you miserable?

Are you unhappy?

Well, I'm Reverend
Sam, your happiness man,

with a personal
message to you from God.

God told me to
come to Chicago...

Hey, Mama, there's Reverend Sam.

Ain't he the preacher
Daddy knows?

But wait.

Perhaps you don't
think there is a God.

Oh, there's a God, all right,

and when he sees
what you're up to,

watch out, brother.

I hate a phony.

If you hate him, why
you watching him?

'Cause hate is
such a good emotion

I don't want to waste it
on somebody I don't know.

Come to Chicago Stadium tonight,

and let me, Reverend
Sam, lighten your burdens...

And empty your pockets.

Michael, turn that thing off.

Hey, what are you
all talking about?

That's my good friend
Smiling Sam on there.

If he's your friend,

why don't he answer
some of your phone calls?

You must've left a
dozen messages.

Oh, he'll get in touch
with me, baby, you'll see.

You know how busy the man is.

Sure, he's been busy,
ripping off poor folks.

Oh, now, come on, baby.

You've got to stop that talk

about Smiling Sam,
the happiness man.

When we was in the
Army, we was best friends.

Yeah, except then

he was Buck Private Sam,
the latrine orderly man.

You mean he wasn't a
preacher in the Army, Daddy?

No, son, he was...
well, what he was was...

He was a crapshooter.

He was out of sight too.

I tell you, when
Sam had those dice,

he couldn't lose from winning.

Baby, it was like
they was blessed.

James, that's blasphemy.

It could also have
been loaded dice.

Son, Sam didn't need that jive.

I'll tell you,

I never will forget the night

old Sam cleaned out
a bunch of noncoms

in the company chapel.

James, you was shooting
dice in the house of the Lord?

It was all right, baby.

We was on our
knees all the time.

Anyway, we was walking

back to the barracks, see,

and Sam turned to me and said,

"James, I believe
we're being followed."

I turned around,
and sure enough,

there's a battalion
of sore losers.

So Sam hands me
his winnings and said,

"James, you run faster than
me, so take the money and split."

Did you both manage
to split, Daddy?

Well, sort of, son.

I split with the money,
but they split Sam.

He was the first war
casualty of the latrine detail.

From what I saw
on TV this morning,

he ain't off that detail yet.

Baby, you've got
to stop that talk,

'cause that's when
we got real close.

You know, the next day,

I went to see him
in the infirmary,

and I took him back every penny.

You know what he
called me after that?

Honest James.

You know what I call him?

Jesse James.

Honey, that man is
using religion like a hustle.

Oh, now, baby, get
off of Sam's case.

That's my good buddy.

I want you to stop
talking like that,

especially when he
comes around to call on me.

Ha! That'll be the day.

Now, you laugh if you want to,

but just suppose,
just suppose, now,

that that was Sam
right outside the door.

If that's Sam outside this door,

I'll shine your shoes in
Marshall Fields' window.

Good morning, sister.

Smiling Sam!

Honest James!

♪ Hey, we don't roar... ♪

♪ We don't fight... ♪

♪ But we're going
to score tonight ♪

♪ Watch those Tomcats
go rolling along ♪

Meow!

Hot dog!

Last time I saw you, man,

you was decked out
in guardhouse green,

and Lord, look at you now.

Oh, don't let these rocks
and rags fool you, James.

They don't fool me.

Sam, this is my wife, Florida.

She shines shoes
at Marshall Fields.

As the Good Book says,

"A good wife is the
peculiar gift of Heaven."

Mmm, ain't that nice the
way he puts that, baby?

Honest James, married.

I'll be damned.

In due time.

Sam, I want you to meet
my youngest son, Michael.

I been telling
him all about you.

I suppose you know
me pretty well, son.

Well enough not to
shoot craps with you.

How did you ever
get to be a reverend?

Well, Michael, I
simply got the calling.

You know, Sister Florida,

I turned away from a life of sin

and took the vows
to do God's work.

I see none of them
vows included poverty.

Well, sister, he who
toils in God's garden

shares the abundant harvest.

How much of that harvest

do you share with
the black community?

Michael, go to your room.

But, Daddy, this is my room.

Remember me?

I'm the little fellow who
sleeps on the couch.

Then take your books
and go to Thelma's room

and do your homework.

James, I can certainly see

you have a strong
and loyal family.

Did you know that I have been
trying to contact you for days?

Now, see, baby?
What did I tell you?

I need you, my good
friend. God needs you.

I want to offer you a
position in my crusade.

Me? Work in your crusade?

Doing what, Sam?

James is a good man,

but when it comes
to being religious,

he ain't made it to
the back pew yet.

Sister, I don't need
a religious man.

I need an honest man.

You see, my collections

have been coming
in a little shy lately,

and I've got the strong feeling

that while I'm at the pulpit
spreading the Good Word,

my ushers are in the john

splitting the big take.

Man, there's a block-long
Cadillac parked outside

with "God is here" signs
hanging on the door.

Sam, I want you to meet
my oldest son, James Jr.

Junior, this is Reverend Sam.

Is that your Cadillac out there?

That's the biggest
hog I ever seen.

Well, son, the Lord
watches over me.

Well, he must've blinked,

'cause one of your
hubcaps is missing.

The happiness man! Dy-no-mite!

I dug you on the tube, man.

Them threads, those
rocks, them wheels...

You and God must be
on a first-name basis!

Junior, my friend Sam

wants me to go to work for him.

Far out!

Now, that's the kind
of religion I can get into.

The good word rolls out,
and the long green rolls in.

JJ, did you get my... Hello?

You're Reverend Sam!

Sam, this is my
daughter, Thelma.

Isn't she a little doll?

I can certainly see where
she gets her fine looks.

So can I.

From the corner drugstore.

Here's your mouth, gal.

I just can't believe it!

Reverend Sam,
right off of television,

is in our own living room.

Wow, you must know
everybody on TV,

like The Jackson Five
and The Staple Singers.

Do you know them?

Know them? I saved
every one of them.

Out of sight!

Reverend, may I please
have your autograph?

Well, I usually
charge a quarter,

but for you, my pretty, do
you have a Bible handy?

Sure, I'll get you Mama's.

No you don't.

Nobody signs my Bible
but the original author.

Now, you go to your room

and help Michael
with his homework.

Mama... Thelma, go.

Baby, would you mind

making us some coffee, please?

Well, as I was saying, James,

trust is the name of the game

when you're
working for the Lord,

and I need a man I can trust.

I need my old
buddy, Honest James.

You really think I
can help you, huh?

Positive.

When my ushers
drive better cars than I,

I need help.

Florida, there's a
Cadillac outside as fine...

as this dude right here.

I've seen you somewhere.

You're that preacher who
makes more money on television

than Bob Hope and
Redd Foxx put together.

What are you doing here?

Business is slow, so
he's making house calls.

I'm Willona, a
friend of the family.

Well, any friend of this family

is a particular friend of mine.

I'm delighted to
meet you, Willona.

Ooh, honey.

You are smooth... You
know what, reverend?

You got your thing so together
I almost sent you a dollar once.

Sister, you should give in
to those charitable feelings.

They come from the Lord.

This dollar came from the Devil.

It was alimony money.

You're divorced.

Yes, but not desperate.

Florida, check out my
new hat I got on sale.

Ooh, girl, you will not believe

who walked into
the boutique shop

this afternoon!

Who? Who?

Izee Mae Patterson.

The woman who has the
weight-watching place?

The one who's always bragging
about her perfect size eight?

Mm-hm, well, now
she's a perfect size 14.

Because of her diet?

Nope, because of her husband.

Oh, no.

I don't know, Sam,
I got a job now,

and it pays pretty good.

You think you can
beat $2.50 an hour?

I think so.

What about a
hundred dollars a day?

A hundred dollars a day?

I mean $100 a day,
seven days a week.

That's $700 a week!

What's wrong, Honest
James? Not enough?

No, I didn't mean it like that.

It's just that I didn't know

that honest men
were that expensive.

I know what you mean,

but put your mind at rest...

James, I'm not selling
anything but happiness.

Now, why don't you
and your whole family

come down to the
revival meeting tonight,

and you'll see the kind of joy

I bring to my following.

What do you say?

A hundred dollars a day...

Now, James, tonight is
my last night in Chicago.

I have to catch on
the midnight plane.

I must have your answer by then.

You'll have it.

Florida, Sam has invited us all

to a revival meeting tonight.

What does he need us for?

To dry him off after
he walks the water?

Sister Florida,
you doubt me now,

but seeing is believing,

and you will believe

when you see all
those sad people

walking in,
disgruntled, dispirited,

and disillusioned, despairing,

walking in the steamy
waters of despair.

Can I get an Amen?

Amen!

People who can't go no further,

then they hear the
Lord's name through me,

can I have an Amen?

Amen!

And they hear the voice of God,

and the people rise up,

and their backs straighten,
and their heads sit tall,

and their spirits
start soaring, soaring,

can I have an Amen?

Amen!

And then they walk
out dancing, dancing,

dancing with a
smile on their face

and a newborn
courage in their hearts

to fight the trials
and the tribulations!

Can I have an Amen?

What do you say?

That was good.

Now let us see you do Geraldine.

Florida, a Christian
keeps an open mind.

And I'll keep a
closed pocketbook.

Baby, Sam offered me a job
paying a hundred dollars a day.

Nobody makes that
kind of money legally.

Baby, you've got to
give Sam a chance.

Hell, woman, give me a
break. A hundred dollars a day.

Come on, you've got to
come to that meeting tonight.

All right.

Hallelujah!

Amen, brother. Hallelujah.

♪ We don't roar... ♪

♪ We don't fight... ♪

♪ But we're going
to score tonight ♪

♪ Watch those Tomcats
go rolling along ♪

Meow!

Well, my friend Sam put
on quite a show, didn't he?

I don't know about
y'all, but I'm sold.

Yeah, dy-no-mite!

Man, he was up
there flapping his arms

and shouting to the sky,

"The happiness man is here

to spread the word of the Lord,"

and he was preaching,
and the choir was singing,

and people were clapping...

And the ushers was collecting...

James, how could you go
anywhere with that hypocrite?

Hypocrite?

Mama, all those people believed
he was the shepherd of the Lord.

I knew he was a shepherd

when I saw him
fleecing the sheep.

Well, I thought
he was beautiful,

and when all those white
pigeons went flying in the air,

I opened my mouth and screamed.

And I opened my
program and ducked.

Now, baby, stop that talk.

You saw all them
people he made happy,

and what about the
people he cured?

And what about the
cat in the wheelchair?

Yeah, I liked to die

when that old man
wheeled down to the front

and old Smiling Sam
says, "You are healed!

The healing power
is within you!"

and, bam!

The cat jumps up
out of that wheelchair

and boogies!

Now, baby, that was a miracle.

The miracle is
anybody believed it.

Hey, Dad, did you see all
that money he collected?

Where does that go?

Tell her, James.

I'm going to go pack.

James. James?

James.

James, I know you
want what's best for us,

but I don't want you
running around the country

with that wolf in
God's clothing.

Baby, this is a chance for
me to give you and the kids

something to build a life on.

Then think about the kids.

We're trying to
teach them honesty.

What're they going to think

when you run around town

with Scheming
Sam the rip-off man?

Baby, that man offered me a job
making a hundred dollars a day.

If I live to be a
thousand years old,

I ain't going to get
another chance like this.

Think what we can
do with the money.

We could send
Michael to law school,

JJ to art school,

we can even give
Thelma dancing lessons.

Yeah, sure, so she could
jump out of a wheelchair

and boogie, huh?

Well, that was
some revival meeting.

I never saw so
many fabulous clothes

in one place in my life.

Maybe so, honey,

but they were all on
Reverend Sam and his people.

What's the matter, Willona?

Don't you dig the Rev?

I'm suspicious of anyone

who says there's pie in the sky,

then announces
it's a buck a slice.

Well, nothing
comes free in this life.

Or in the next one, either,

if Reverend Sam
has a concession.

I don't know, Willona.

He seemed to be doing
people a whole lot of good.

Yeah, he kept talking
about all of us being equal.

Sure.

When the meeting was over,

we both left in equally
expensive vehicles,

only ours was an old city bus

and his was a
customized Cadillac.

Well, I don't care
what anyone says.

I like Reverend Sam.

Well, speak of the Devil.

Only to drive him
out of people's hearts,

Sister Willona.

You were something
else out there tonight, Rev,

pure dy-no-mite.

You sure was...

but you didn't light my fuse.

My, my, my, my, my.

Still a nonbeliever, eh?

One of the sadnesses
of my calling

is that you simply
can't reach everyone.

And you got some
reach, reverend...

right from the
pulpit to the pocket.

You will excuse me.

Some of us poor people
still have to work for a living.

Wow, you and Dad

are going to some great places.

Does your crusade
go to Hollywood?

Why not?

I can see it now.

Reverend Sam starring
in "Blackula Gets Religion."

That way, you can get
the blood and the money

at the same time.

Would you see if
your daddy is ready?

Yeah, I'll get him.

Daddy? Reverend Sam's
here, and he's in a big hurry.

Okay, Michael, tell
him I'll be right there.

Now, baby, this is
something I've got to do...

and I'd feel a
lot better about it

if I knew I was going
with your blessing.

I can't give it to you for that.

I don't want you
away from the kids.

They need you.

I don't want you away
from me. I need you.

Baby, I ain't going to say
this but one more time...

A hundred dollars a day.

Baby, without money,

people like us ain't
got no chance at all.

But it ain't always going
to be that way, James.

It says so right in the Bible.

"The day will come

when the lion will lay
down with the lamb."

Yeah, but only the
lion is going to get up.

Ready to roll, Sam.

Fine, James.

And I bet you're going

with your good
woman's blessings.

You lose that bet.

Sister Florida, I
do the Lord's work.

I heard that help
was hard to get,

but I didn't know the
Lord was desperate.

I'll get it.

Reverend Sam, we have to go
if you want to catch that plane.

You're right, and Ed,

I'd like you to meet my
old friend, James Evans.

He'll be traveling
with us for a while.

That's great.

Our next stop is Philadelphia.

It's a good town

for you to take over
the wheelchair gig.

The wheelchair gig.

You're the old man
in the wheelchair.

It's the boogie-woogie man!

And what do you have
to say to that, reverend?

I hire the handicapped.

Wait for me downstairs, Ed.

Wow. Out of sight!

Now, that's heavy.

You sure are slick, Rev,

but you know what
would work better

than an old man getting healed?

A poor kid getting healed.

Like me. Picture this.

I come down the
aisle in the wheelchair.

Everybody's watching me, right?

I get down to the
front of the stage,

and I fall out of the chair,

and I start crawling to you,

Reverend Sam, help me.

Please help me. Heal me.

By then, the audience
is going crazy,

then you come and
lift me up to my knees,

and you say "You are healed!

The spirit of God
has healed you!"

And I stand up

and hold my arms
out to the audience,

and say "I am
healed! I am healed!

I can walk!"

"I can run!"

"I can dance!"

"I can even boogie!"

What do you say,
Rev? I got a gig?

What do you say, James?

There's always
room on God's train

for one more.

You can make that
room for two more, Sam,

'cause he ain't going
and I ain't going.

James, you're passing
up a golden opportunity.

Sam, they don't
print enough money

to make me ruin my son's life.

Come on, Dad!

Ruin me!

Junior, sit down.

Oh, wow. Every time
we get something going...

And shut up!

♪ We don't roar ♪

♪ We don't fight ♪

♪ But we're going
to score tonight... ♪

Still Honest James.

I'll be seeing you.

Sam...

Baby, I don't know
what happened.

I guess them numbers

just started dancing
in front of my eyes.

Can you ever forgive me?

Can I forgive you?

And I say to you, God
is with you every minute,

and when I'm lost and
don't know where to turn,

I call out to God,

"Lord, Lord, give me a sign!"

Right on, Lord!

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Just looking out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

♪ Hanging in a chow line ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪♪