Good Times (1974–1979): Season 1, Episode 13 - My Son the Lover - full transcript

One of the most popular girls at school is interested in JJ. He starts making plans for going steady, buying her things, and proposing to her. No one in the family likes her because she is overly sweet. Of course, she has ulterior motives.

ANNOUNCER: From
Television City in Hollywood:

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Any time you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Any time you meet a friend ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Any time you're
out from under ♪

♪ Not getting hassled,
not getting hustled ♪

♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪



♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪

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♪ Scratching and surviving ♪

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♪ Hanging in a chow line ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

Where is that JJ?

My face cream is gone,
and I know he took it.

When I see him, I'm going to
knock him right upside his head!

Thelma, I took your face cream.



You, James?

Yeah, I had two pipes
under the kitchen sink

to screw together, and I
run out of plumber's grease.

Daddy!

Oh, don't worry, baby.
First thing in the morning

I'll buy you a nice, big
jar of plumber's grease.

James, you shouldn't tease her.

Mom, what Daddy's talking about?

Nothing. He heard
that Flip Wilson

won't be back next year,
so he's bucking for the job.

Hi, gorgeous family.

Hello, pretty sister!

Hello, lovely Mama.

Hello, handsome Papa.

Get out your wallet, James.

That's a "Can I borrow $5?"
greeting if I ever heard one.

You can forget that, Junior.

My wallet's so empty,
make a mugger cry.

Oh, Mama, Daddy, I
say these happy things

'cause I'm a happy person.

Today my joy is overflowing

like a garbage
can in the ghetto.

JJ, what you so happy about?

Did they remove the "Condemned"
sign from your great body?

Don't worry, Mama.
I feel so good today

I won't even bother to tell her

that I hope her hot
comb has a short-circuit.

Junior, what is happening?

You're happier than a
rooster in a henhouse.

Family, are y'all
ready for this?

Marcy Jones is crazy about me!

Well, that's nice, JJ.

But what are we supposed
to do, fire a 21-gun salute?

Come on, JJ. Stop
fooling yourself.

Marcy Jones is the most
popular chick in school.

She won the class
beauty contest this year.

Now how did a girl like
that ever notice you?

Simple. When you're
on top of the heap,

all you notice is top
of the other heap.

And the minute our eyes heaped,

I knew she was Gladys
Knight and I was the Pips.

Boy, Junior, you are
something else with them chicks.

I tell you, I can't keep up
with you without a scorecard.

You don't have to
worry about that, Dad.

My motto used to be, "A chick
a day keeps Dullsville away."

But ever since I
met Marcy Jones,

it's "El Permanente."

I don't believe
what I'm hearing.

Marcy Jones wouldn't
give you the time of day.

Well, for you
information, little sister,

she not only gave
me the time of day,

she will be here in
approximately 10 minutes.

What's she coming here for?

She heard about my
ebony genius on canvas.

And she asked me
to paint her portrait.

Oh, that's a nice idea. Yeah.

And you know how them
models and artists work.

Paint 15 minutes,
rest 15 minutes.

Paint 15 minutes,
rest 15 minutes.

And you'd be surprised

how much I can squeeze
in those rest stops.

Oh, Dad, could I borrow
your aftershave lotion?

For what? This ain't
your week to shave.

Well, when you're taking
out a girl like Marcy,

you even shave
on your off-weeks.

Well, take it
easy on that stuff.

You got to give Marcy
a fighting chance.

Thelma... what
is this Marcy like?

Beats me, Ma.

Every time she passes me
in school, she never speaks.

All I know is that she can have
her pick of any dude in school.

And she picked JJ?
This I can't believe.

It don't surprise me none.
Look who his daddy is.

Boy, Junior reminds me of
myself when I was his age.

A kid back on that
farm in Mississippi.

There wasn't one girl
who didn't want to...

Didn't want to what, James?

Didn't... didn't like me.

Well, why not, baby? I was
young and handsome and muscular.

And modest.

That too.

Oh, you know what I mean, baby.

Any kid his age has got
to sow some wild oats.

From the way you
talking, you sound like

you worked the
whole farm by yourself.

Baby, that was a long time ago.

Once I met you, my
whole life changed.

Threw away all of
my farming tools.

You just made me change my mind.

About what?

About burning your dinner.

Hi!

Sorry, I didn't know the
movie already started.

Willona, sometimes I think
you wait outside that door

till it's the worst
minute to come in here.

From what I just saw,
it's one of the better times.

Okay, Willona, what
has the roving reporter

got to say today?

No news, just one question...
What is happening with JJ?

I passed him in the
hallway a little while ago,

and I spoke, you know.

He just walked by singing:

♪ Let's get it on ♪

Girl, JJ has got
himself another girl.

Well, she must have
his nose wide open.

'Cause he was pushing the
down button on the elevator,

and he was in the
basement at the time.

Yeah, JJ says,
"This is the biggie."

Oh! "El Permanente."

Whoo! 17, what a great age.

I'd give anything to
be able to buy back

the last 10 years
and be 17 again.

Well, I hope you got
heavy cash, Willona,

'cause you got a whole
lot of buying back to do.

That's cold.

And you supposed
to be my best friend.

All right. Remember when
we was 17 years old, Florida?

And we double-dated.

And there wasn't
a dude who didn't...

Didn't what?

Uh... didn't want to date us.

I kind of played
the field myself.

Florida was sweet on
some dude. Willona.

What's his name? Fred Thompson.

Let's hear some more about this
what's-his-name Fred Thompson.

Oh, I could tell you a whole
lot about him and Florida.

Willona.

He was the finest, sharpest
dude you ever laid your eyes on.

Florida just melted every
time he walked into the room.

Hey, you just cool it on
that stroll down memory lane.

Since I met you,
honey, I never even gave

Fred Thompson a thought
until she mentioned it just now.

Well, good enough.

That's why in the morning,
I'm going right in there

and tear up that picture of
him that's hidden in my drawer.

You can tear his picture up now!

Well, I'm going to,
uh, leave this movie.

This is where I came in.

You two are the
mushiest, kissing old folks

I ever seen in my life.

Kissing, kissing,
kissing, kissing.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You know, this here is crazy.

Junior's the one that's
supposed to be in love.

We doing all the kissing.

"Thanks! I needed that."

Hey, Junior, you all finished
shaving and lotioning?

Also under-armed.

That green deodorant of
yours is right on, Daddy.

Green deodorant? That
was my mouthwash, fool!

Well, I guess I'll
just put my arms

around her a lot, and
postpone the kissing.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

That's her. Now take it easy.

When a fox like that is
calling, she deserves the honor

of having her own very special,
private wolf answer the door.

Hi, JJ!

Hi. JJ?

[DAZED VOICE]
Hi, Marcy. Come in.

I'm right on time.

I mean, you're right on time.

Oh, I can't wait
to get started, JJ.

Brought my baddest
dress to pose in.

Hope it's all
right with you, JJ.

Anything you wear
is all right with me.

Even if you didn't
wear anything,

it would be all right with me.

I mean... Uh, uh, uh...

I want you to meet my
mother and my father.

Okay.

Uh, this one's my mother.

Hi, Marcy. Hello, Mrs. Evans.

And this one's my father.

Oh, hi, Marcy.

How do you do, Mr. Evans?

Oh, now I can see where
JJ gets all his charm.

Well, thanks.

I must say, it's hard to
believe you're JJ's father.

You look so young.

Marcy, I'm going to make
you immortal on canvas.

When I get through
with that painting,

you going to make the Mona Lisa

look like Moms Mabley
without her teeth in.

Aw, JJ, you too much.

I know!

Oh, uh, Marcy, I want you
to meet my kid sister, Thelma.

You don't have to
introduce me to Thelma.

We talk in school all the
time. Hey, girl, how you doing?

Oh, fine, Marcy.

Um... JJ, where can I change?

Right in Thelma's room,
baby. Right through there.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Evans.

If you need anything
else, just holler, hear?

Oh, I sure will.
[JAMES CHUCKLES]

Oh, JJ, I'm going to
change my clothes.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you said she
hardly speaks to you in school.

She doesn't, Ma.
I don't get her.

Well, wasn't she everything
I told you she was?

She seemed like
a real nice girl.

Real sweet, well-behaved
and respectful to her elders.

Especially the male elder,

who looks too
young to have a son.

She is pure dy-no-mite!

That's how come I made
up my mind. About what?

When I finish that painting,
I'm going to pop the question.

What?!

I'm going to ask
her to go steady.

Changing her clothes
in that room right now

could be the future
Mrs. James Evans Jr.

And standing right
here, having a fit,

is the present Mrs.
James Evans Sr.

Baby, Junior must be in love.

This is the first
girl he ever painted

that wasn't 8-feet tall
and shooting a basketball.

Well, James, I don't like it.
I been watching this Marcy.

I been watching her too.

Aw, no, no. I mean,

I been watching how
nice a girl she is, baby.

I don't understand why
you keep putting her down.

Well, there's just
something wrong

with the two of
them going together.

But why? They're both
the same age. They're 17.

Yeah. Marcy is 17 going on 30.

JJ is 17, looks 15 and acts 12.

Baby, they're just two
kids that dig each other.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

I think you're getting
upset about nothing.

Why don't you
just flap your wings

over to the refrigerator
and get me a beer, hear?

Careful, James.
Them ain't my wings.

I know!

Come on, JJ, you been
in there a half-hour now.

What you doing?

I'm taking a bubble bath!

Stop yelling! You just
busted one of my bubbles!

Ma, tell him to
get out of there.

Now, honey, you can't complain,

all the time you
spend in the bathroom.

That's right, Thelma.

This is a big moment
in your brother's life.

He's in love. He
should look good.

Ma, this whole thing with him
and Marcy is getting ridiculous.

I don't know what she
wants with him, anyway.

Now wait a minute, Thelma.

Don't go putting your
brother down now.

Junior's got a lot on the ball.
Got a good sense of humor,

he's bright, he can be
charming when he wants to be.

Of course, he's got
that gift with the girls

that he inherited
from his old man.

I think you're working
the farm again.

Hi, everybody. Where's
Romeo the Casanova?

He's in there
gussying up for Marcy.

You know, this girl just
might be Miss El Permanente,

'cause JJ came to
my boutique last night,

and he bought this
slave key for Marcy.

He did? Mm-hm.

And I had it engraved
just like he wanted, see?

"To M. With eternal love, JJ."

James, this is
getting out of hand.

Aw, now, baby, calm down.

You know, the thing I
can't figure out, though,

is how could he afford this?

This thing looks expensive.

Well, we sell 'em for $10.

But I gave it to him
at the wholesale price:

Eighty-three cents.

Eighty-three cents?

Yeah, and with the 50 cents
I loaned him, he just made it.

Whoo! Florida,

the way kids move these days,

it won't be long before
you'll be a grandmother.

And I just had a
horrible thought.

What?

A girl my age is much too young

to be the best friend
of a grandmother.

Oh, you!

Well, I got to go,
but I'll be back later

to see if Romeo made it
up to Juliet's balcony, dig?

James, this ain't funny.
Now it's a slave key.

Baby, kids always giving
them things to each other.

That don't mean
they tied together.

Ma, JJ must be crazy,
thinking about getting serious.

I don't intend to get serious
for at least another six months.

Junior, you are
clean to the bone!

Don't I know it!

Well, we got more than
200 days to Christmas,

but already we got
ourselves a decorated tree.

JJ, where'd you get the threads?

Don't touch. Just look.
Touching is reserved for Marcy.

Here is your slave key.
Willona brought it over.

Hey, thanks, Mama.
Now that's class.

Mmm.

Now when I hang this gold
chain around Marcy's neck,

she got to say yeah.

You better hurry,

or else that fake gold is
going to turn her neck green.

Oh, Ma.

[SNIFFS] Hey, JJ,
you got on my perfume!

Yeah. It didn't say
how many drops to use,

so I just emptied the bottle.

Emptied the bottle? It
cost $2.95 for six ounces!

When you're in love,
money doesn't matter.

Yeah, but it's my money!

That's why it doesn't matter.

JJ, I want to talk to
you serious for a minute.

Don't you think
you're rushing things?

Mama, I'm 17. She's 17.
Together that makes us 34.

We're way over
the legal age limit.

We may even get married.

Married? Oh, JJ,
don't talk crazy.

Where would the two of you live?

Easy, Mama. We'll figure
someplace close to home,

like Thelma's room.

My room?

And where am I
supposed to sleep?

In the bathroom.

You live in there.

You might as
well sleep in there.

Now, Mama, Marcy's going
to be here in a few minutes,

and we'd like to be alone.

Now, JJ... Now thanks, Mama!

Y'all excuse me. I got
to go chill the Kool-Aid.

James, I ain't
leaving this house.

Me neither!

Baby, we can't blame the
boy for wanting to be alone.

Maybe he's entitled
to some privacy.

You know how it was
when we was going together.

We was doing all
that heavy courting.

That night I talked
your mother and father

into leaving the house so
we could be alone and we...

Hell, no. We ain't
going nowhere.

Y'all ain't gone yet?

We ain't going, JJ.

But, Mama... [KNOCK ON DOOR]

Now that's her now. This
is a big occasion in my life,

and we'd like a little privacy.

We going to give you
all the privacy you need.

Thanks, Ma!

Come on, Thelma, y'all,
let's go in the kitchen.

Some privacy.

I might as well pop the
question at Wrigley Field.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Hey, JJ! Hey, Marcy.

Oo-ee! You mighty sharp.

Heh-heh. Just a
little something I...

threw on.

Why don't you come
and sit down, my dear?

Okay.

Hi, Mr. Evans,
Mrs. Evans, Thelma.

Marcy.

To put us in the mood
for what I'm about to say...

Ahem.

I wrote this little poem
especially for you.

Y'all folks can't
hear me, can you?

Mnh-mnh. Uh-uh.

Good.

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways

I love you For your
skin's pure sheen,

For your two sweet lips
With teeth in between

I love you For your gorgeous bod

And for your hair
That is strictly mod

I love you In all
kinds of weather

'Cause, baby,
You is all together

Aw, JJ, that's... that's pretty.

Just a little something I wrote
while I was bubble-bathing.

Oh, JJ, I just love
sitting here talking,

but don't you think we
should work on the painting?

Ooh, I can't wait
to get it finished.

Marcy, baby, it is finished.

It is? It is.

I put the finishing touches
on it yesterday after you left.

Oh, JJ, it's out of sight!

I'm glad you like
it, Marcy. It's yours.

Oh, I love it!

Ooh, and George is
going to really love it.

George?

Yes. He my boyfriend.
My main man.

And he's graduating high school.

I'm giving him this painting
for his graduation present.

But, Marcy, I thought
me and you were, uh...

Oh, JJ, you are a
great artist. Ohh!

I don't know how to thank you.

Wait till George
sees this painting.

Oh, bye, Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans.

Be talking to you
in school, Thelma.

[DOOR SHUTS]

Oh, JJ, baby. I am so sorry.

And I was going
to give her this.

Oh, Junior, don't let
it get you down, son.

Someday you'll meet
a girl like your mother,

and you'll be just fine.

JJ, it's not the
end of the world.

It is. I'm just
going to sit here

and drink myself
into a Kool-Aid coma.

Now, JJ... she's just one girl.

There'll be a lot of other
girls before you're through.

No, Mama. I'm
finished with women.

Oh, now come on, Junior.

There's more than
one fish in the sea, man.

No, I mean it. That's it.

Finito.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

JJ the Hermit speaking.

Oh, hi, Charlotte!

How you doing, baby?

Oh, yeah, well, I'm usually busy

around this time of the day,
but if you got an extra ticket,

I'll be happy to
go along with you.

Uh, can I have a
little privacy, please?

Uh, Charlotte,

I wrote this little poem
especially for you.

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways

I love you For your
skin's pure sheen

[SOUND DROPS OUT]

Hi, Ma. Hi, Dad.

Hey, Junior. How'd your date go?

Hi, son. Did you
have a nice time?

Sure did. The
concert was groovy,

and I gave Charlotte
my slave key.

She liked it so much,

she spent a half-hour
kissing me a thank-you note.

You know, Florida, that's some
boy you brought into this world.

I know!

♪ Mmmm... ♪

♪ Just looking out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinking how it all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good Times Good Times ♪

♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

NARRATOR: Good
Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪♪