Good Times (1974–1979): Season 1, Episode 12 - The Check Up - full transcript

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Any time you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Any time you meet a friend ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Any time you're
out from under ♪

♪ Not getting hassled,
not getting hustled ♪

♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪



♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Scratching and surviving ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Hanging in a chow line ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪♪

[FUNK MUSIC PLAYING]

Come on now, Thelma,

I asked you to teach
me how to dance,

not commit suicide!

What's the name of
this dance anyway?

It's called "The Freak-out."



No wonder you can do it so good.

You been freaked out for years.

Later for you then!

[MUSIC STOPS]

You don't have enough
soul to dance anyway.

Who don't have enough
soul? I got so much soul,

I make James Brown
look like Lawrence Welk!

Whoo!

Keep trying, JJ.

Aw, now come on, Thelma,

I got this heavy date with
this chick on Saturday night,

and I told her I
was a great dancer.

Do you always lie to
your chicks like that?

Yeah!

Except for when I tell
'em how handsome I am.

Handsome?

You look like a
string of spaghetti

with a little meatball on top.

Come on, Thelma, stop jiving me!

Are you going to teach
me how to dance, or what?!

Don't yell at me like that, JJ.

I'm sorry, Thelma.

I guess I'm picking up
bad habits from Dad.

When Daddy yells,
he has an excuse.

He's frustrated because
he's being overworked

and underpaid.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

I'll get it.

It's probably one
of my foxes calling.

Foxes, my foot!

If it's for you, she's
probably a bear!

Hello...

This is the Casanova
of the ghetto speaking,

otherwise known
as Dial-a-Thrill.

Wait 10 seconds for the beep,

then start panting.

Who?

McDonald who?

Oh, hamburger. Oh, yeah, okay.

Hey, Thelma,

it's McDonald's calling
about that job you applied for!

Use your sexy voice.

Maybe we can get a
discount on a Big Mac.

JJ, give me the phone.

Hello? Yes, this
is Thelma Evans.

Yes. Yes.

I did? When?

Oh, thank you.

Okay, bye-bye.

Hey, JJ, guess what? What?

I got that part-time
job I wanted.

Great!

Come on, JJ, I feel so good,

I could even teach
you how to dance now.

Dy-no-mite!

♪ It's about mind ♪

♪ It's about life ♪

Thelma, why are you
wasting your time dancing

when your brother is busy
trying to stomp out roaches?

[MUSIC STOPS]

Hi, Mama.

Hi, love.

Hey, Ma, I'm getting ready

for this heavy date I
got on Saturday night.

Well, I feel sorry
for that poor girl.

If your big feet
don't waste her,

your little bony elbows will.

Where's Michael?

I sent him to the library to
check up on something, Ma.

Mama, I think I might know
what's wrong with Daddy.

Thelma, I told you

there is nothing
wrong with your father,

except he's tired

and under a little
emotional stress.

Now that's that.

Well, changing
the subject rapidly,

what'd you get from
the grocery store, Ma?

Well, I got some
fresh collard greens,

chitlins, sweet potatoes,

and we're going to have
hot corn bread and butter

to go with it.

And pork chops.

Pork chops! Pork chops!

Ma, the last time
we had meat in here,

Chicken Delight
made a wrong delivery.

Calm down now.
It's not a picnic.

I just bought your
father's favorite meal

to try to cheer him up a little.

Ma, I got some news
that'll cheer everybody up.

I got that part-time
job I was waiting for.

Oh, great, Thelma!

When do you start?

Tomorrow night, from 7 to 11.

Something tells me

when your father hears
your working hours,

that job is still
going to be open.

Ma, Daddy just got
to let me take that job.

Hi, Daddy!

How wonderful to see you home!

Hello, Thelma.

Junior.

JJ: Hey, Dad.

Hey, baby.

FLORIDA: Hi, sweetheart.

Hey, Daddy, guess what?

I got that part-time
job I wanted.

I knew there was
something hiding behind that,

"Hi, Daddy, how
wonderful to see you home!"

What are your hours?

I could buy my own clothes,
have my own spending money.

What are your hours?

It'd help the whole family too.

What are your hours?

7 to 11.

You just got fired.

Oh, Daddy! Now,
Thelma, forget it!

I ain't going to
have no daughter

on the street that
hour of the night!

But JJ could walk me
home when I get off work!

That's right, Dad.
With me protecting her,

she wouldn't have a
thing to worry about.

Nothing but her life.

Now look, Thelma,
I said forget it!

Now the subject is
closed! You hear me?

I don't want to talk
about it no more!

I don't want to talk
about nothing no more!

Honey, don't get
yourself upset like that.

Let me talk to you.

Didn't I just say I don't
want to talk about nothing?

Well, that means nothing!

You know that window washing job

I went to see about
earlier this morning?

They had already hired
somebody. An aircraft engineer!

James, at least...

I just said I didn't want
to talk about nothing,

and nothing means nothing!

But, James, let me tell you...

Well, I guess he don't
want to talk about nothing.

Well, there goes my
discount on a Big Mac.

Hey, Thelma, you
were right about Daddy.

I found about six
articles on the subject,

and Daddy has all the
symptoms of hypertension.

Wait a minute, Michael.

Thelma, what's going on here?

Mama, Daddy has to get a
physical checkup right away.

That's right, Mama.

Look, Dr. Welby,

what makes you think
your father has hypertension,

or as we plain folks
say, high blood pressure?

He's showing all
the signs, Mama.

And it's the number
one killer of black people.

Whatever you kids are thinking
about your father's health,

you're absolutely wrong!

What does it say
in that magazine?

"Hypertension

and the importance of
taking a physical examination."

"High blood pressure
causes heart attacks,

"strokes and
kidney malfunction."

In this house, a person can
get kidney malfunction waiting

for Thelma to get
out of the bathroom.

Now, JJ.

It also says,

"the only way you can
tell whether you have it,

is by taking a
physical examination."

Well, I still say that
don't necessarily mean

that your father has it.

But, Ma, the black male
is the number one victim.

That's right, Mama.

It's caused by the stress

and frustration of ghetto life.

In that case, a lot of chicks
around here must have it too.

Cause with only one
of me to go around,

that causes a lot of
stress and frustration.

JJ, this is important!

Mama.

Thelma.

Look at the way Daddy's
been acting around here lately.

Uptight and hollering
at everybody,

and always complaining
about a headache.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, Willona.

MICHAEL: What
you got in the bag?

Nothing for you, Gramps.

This is for adults only.

Come on, Florida. I
got a bag of goodies.

Wait a minute. She
said for adults only.

Y'all heard Mama. Adults only.

That goes for you too, JJ.

I got a fake ID.

Out, out, out.

Willona, what you
got in that bag?

Well, Florida, you know I know

how James has been
acting around here lately.

So I brought you
something to lift his spirits.

Imported directly
from California.

Cabernet sauvignon, 1969.

That's the year the
smog didn't kill the grapes.

How come it's in
a muscatel bottle?

I switched.

I said I wanted
to lift his spirits,

not shock his system.

And... Perfume? Mm-hm.

I call it "the husband
pepper-upper."

Two drops behind each ear,

and he'll try to hit more
home runs than Hank Aaron.

Willona, you don't understand.

And there's more.

Scented candles for
a romantic evening.

Look, girl, I told you

James was upset and
a little tense here lately.

I didn't tell you he
had no problem.

Florida.

Don't be embarrassed to
talk to me about it, Florida.

Take it from somebody who
loves you and James both.

Try it.

Willona, I know you mean well,

but believe me when I tell you,

James' problem ain't
what you think it is.

Well, if it ain't what
I think it is, cool.

But if it is what I think it is,

light a candle and have a happy.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Okay, Willona.

Bye, y'all. Bye, Willona.

Mama, we may have to cancel
that dinner we were going to have.

How come?

Because it says right here:

"Soul food is one of the
big causes of hypertension."

Thelma, a little while ago

you told me it was
caused by emotional stress.

Now you say it's soul food.

Both. You see, Ma, it's
not really the soul food,

but it's all that grease and
salt we use when we cook it.

Thelma, one good meal
ain't going to hurt your daddy.

What's the matter, James?
Couldn't you get any rest?

Daddy, have you
ever heard of hyper...

Michael, Michael.

Thelma, come here, baby.

I want to apologize to you

for yelling at you
the way I did, hear?

Oh, that's all right, Dad.

Does that mean I
can take the job?

No.

I ain't apologizing
for what I said.

I'm just apologizing
for the way I said it.

I want to apologize
to you too, baby.

It's okay, James. I understand.

You know, Florida, it's
getting rough out there.

I tell you, I lost that
window washing job

to an aircraft engineer.

I wouldn't be surprised
if I got to my janitor's job,

and found out they
gave it to a brain surgeon.

James, have we got a
pleasant surprise for you.

Tonight, we are having
fresh collard greens,

chitlins, sweet potatoes,
corn bread with butter

and pork chops.

Hey, that's a Sunday meal!

What'd you do, hijack
a supermarket, girl?

Oh, James, this
little bit of food

ain't going to put us no closer

to the soup line
than we already are.

You ain't wrong.

If we get any closer
to it, we'd be in the pot.

Hey, Junior,

get me some aspirin for
my headache, will you?

Well, don't just
stand there like a fool.

Get me some aspirin.

Uh, yeah, Dad.

You sure can act
ignorant sometimes.

Daddy, when was the last time
you had a physical checkup?

When I got out of the
Army, about 20 years ago.

20 years?

Dad, I think you
better get one soon.

What you mean, soon?

Thelma, now I told you
your daddy had a hard day,

and he don't want to hear
nothing about that mess.

What mess?

Mama's talking
about hypertension.

Dad, we want you
to get a checkup.

What, y'all trying to make me
out to be sick or something?

Florida, what's going
on around here?

It's nothing. What
she mean is...

Well, now, James, you have
been upset and hollering,

and you do suffer
from these headaches,

and they are symptoms
of hypertension.

Now who's upset and hollering?

What y'all trying to make me
out to be, some kind of maniac?!

James, honey, please
don't upset yourself.

Now there you go
telling me I'm upset!

What the hell is going on here?

Here's your aspirin, Dad.

You take 'em! I don't need 'em!

Huh?

I said you take 'em!
I don't need 'em!

What the hell is going
on in here anyhow?!

I come home from work,

and Thelma's bugging me
about some jive-time job!

Now you're all trying
to tell me I'm sick!

The next thing I know,

y'all tell me I'm ready
for the funny farm!

James, calm down.
Stop upsetting yourself.

Now, Florida, I ain't
got no hypertension,

and I don't want to hear
another damn word about it!

I ain't sick! I ain't nervous,

and I ain't upset!

I'm sure glad he
didn't get upset.

Come on, kids,
eat your breakfast,

so you can go to school.

[SNORING]

JJ, wake up

before you fall into that
oatmeal and suffocate.

Every time I fell
asleep last night,

I had a nightmare
about a flying chair.

Mama, I don't think we
should go to school today.

And why not, pray tell?

I think we should stay here
and protect the furniture.

Forget it.

Now you're all going
to school just as usual.

Mama, we're worried about Daddy.

We should try to get
him to see a doctor.

Don't you think I know that?

What I don't know is how to
tell Superman that he can't fly

like he used to.

Well, that's my problem,

and I guess I'll have to deal
with it when he wakes up.

Wakes up?

You mean Daddy didn't go
to work this morning, Mama?

No.

His boss called and said
he was laid off for a few days.

That's why I let him sleep.

Oh, no.

Laid off?

Oh, Mama, when
you tell him that,

he might get
upset all over again.

Might get upset?

Last night he had a job,
and he destroyed a chair.

Don't worry about it.

I'll take care of your father.

Morning, everybody.

Hi, Willona.

Don't bother
offering me a chair.

I know you got one less now.

You heard, huh?

Mm-hm.

It's all right. I'll take
that. Go ahead, kids.

Well, Florida?

Willona, it's getting worse.

James was laid off
for a couple of days,

and I've got to tell
him when he wakes up.

That's like having to tell Nixon

they're adding another
$100,000 to his tax bill.

I know.

Well, honey, is there
anything I can do to help?

Thanks, Willona,

but it's my problem,
and I'm going to handle it.

The first thing I did

was call the employment agency

to see about getting
a job to help out.

Now, Florida, you know
James is a proud dude.

He ain't going to hardly like you
working in somebody's kitchen.

Can you think of
anything else I could do?

Well, you can make your will out

before you tell James
you're going to work.

Well, I got to go
myself, but good luck,

and if you need me,
just dial me direct:

H-E-L-P.

Bye-bye.

Bye, and thank you.

Bye, baby.

I'll make the lunches, Ma.

Well, Ma, I'm ready to
make the supreme sacrifice

and give up a day of
school for Daddy's sake.

JJ!

Well, I tried.

Florida, why you
let me oversleep?

You know I got to go to work.
I'm over an hour late now.

James, wait. I got
to tell you something.

I ain't got no time.
James, this is important.

What is it, Florida?

Uh, well... Have
a cup of coffee.

Baby, I ain't got
time for no coffee.

James, I've got to
tell you something.

Florida, I'll talk to you later.
I'll call you on my lunch hour.

James, you're laid off!

Your boss called,
said you're laid off,

but he'll call you back
in a couple of days.

James, no!

Don't worry, baby. I ain't
going to throw the chair.

Well, I guess they hired that
out-of-work brain surgeon.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I wonder what this bad news is.

Hello. Yeah.

Baby, this could be a job.
It's the employment agency.

Yeah, go ahead.

Who y'all want to speak to?

Florida Evans?

What job in what kitchen?

No, she ain't here,

and if she was, she wouldn't
be taking no job in no kitchen.

What the hell you doing dealing
with an employment agency?

I decided to take a job.

I just undecided for you.
You got a full-time job here.

You ain't putting in
time in nobody's kitchen.

James, there is
dignity in all work!

It's not the kind of work
you do that gives you dignity.

It's how well you do it,

and when I was a
maid, forgive me,

but I was the best
damn maid there was!

James, I'm only
trying to help you

so you won't kill yourself.

I don't need no help.
I'm the man of this house,

and I'll bring home the bacon!

At a $1.59 a pound,

sometimes it takes
more than one person

to bring home the bacon.

What's all this job
foolishness about anyhow?

First, it was
Thelma. Now it's you!

I'm going to tell you both,
I've had about enough of it!

Thelma, you and Michael
say I got hypertension?

Well, if I am hypertensed,

you all gave it to me with
this nagging all the time.

Junior's the only one who
ain't bugging me to death.

Yeah, that's for
two reasons, Dad...

One, because I respect you,

and two, because
I fear for my life.

James, you know
what your trouble is?

You got too darn much pride.

What else I got to hold onto?

And what's wrong with a
man having a little pride?

What's wrong with
a wife and children

being concerned
about your health...

and loving you?

James, everything
is going to be just fine.

Daddy, please go
and get a checkup.

Daddy, I heard if you don't
cry, they give you a lollipop.

Daddy, the article said
that most black people

don't take enough
physical examinations.

I hope that article also said
most black people can't afford

to pay for physical
examinations.

But, James,

you can get a free
one at the clinic.

Daddy, even if there isn't
anything wrong with you,

you're still supposed to
get a physical once a year.

There could be something
wrong, and you don't even know it.

Don't even know it?

Does this look like
a man that's sick?

Does this look like I've
got hypertension, huh?

Well, that doctor sure is taking

his sweet time bringing
them results back, ain't he?

Well, they got a lot
of things to check out.

You said they gave you
a thorough examination.

Yes, he did.

Baby, he peered and
poked and thumped.

Wasn't nothing like that exam

I had when I got
called up for the Army.

When they saw I was strong
enough to open the door,

they said, "Man, you're in!"

Hi, Ma. Hi, Dad. Hey, folks.

What y'all kids doing down here?

We came to see you, Daddy.

How did you all get
all the way down here?

What did the doctor say, Dad?

What they always say after
you get finished with a physical:

"Put on your clothes and wait."

Okay, Mr. Evans, I've
got your lab reports.

You can come
into the office now.

This is my family.
They're kind of interested.

I'm afraid my office isn't
large enough for everybody.

Well, I suppose we
can talk right out here.

Well, let's see
what we've got here.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Does my dad have
hypertension, doctor?

Well, son, what do you
know about hypertension?

I know it's the number
one killer of black people.

You know, doctor, that's right,

and it's hell on
the white folks too.

No, son, your dad does
not have hypertension.

What did I tell you, huh?

I told you all I was
as healthy as a horse!

Maybe you got hoof
and mouth disease, Dad.

Actually, Mr. Evans,
you're in pretty good shape,

but there's one thing
that I'm concerned about.

What's that, doctor?

It's nothing to get
too alarmed over,

but you do have an
elevated cholesterol level.

An elevated which?

High cholesterol.

It's caused by eating too
many foods cooked in grease

or foods with a
high-content of animal fat.

Oh, there go my chitlins.

Well, cottage cheese is
low in fat and high in protein,

and it's not too expensive.

Just cut down on
the grease and the fat

and fried foods
wherever possible, hmm?

Now as for those headaches
you've been having,

I'd say if you
just relax a little,

you'd find they'd
disappear in no time at all.

Good. We'll go down to
Acapulco for two weeks.

Well, I think
that's just about it.

I'll see you again next year

for your annual
physical checkup, right?

James.

Yeah, doc.

Good.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Goodbye.

Bye, doc. Thank you, doctor.

Florida, I just want to
ask you one question.

What?

You know any way to
barbecue cottage cheese?

Oh, baby, that
was one fine meal.

Yeah, if you like cottage cheese

and black-eyed peas.

Never mind that.

The doctor said we should
all watch what we eat.

I want the whole family

to go down for a
physical examination.

Come on, Dad.

What does a great
physical specimen like me

need a physical examination for?

JJ, if you were in
any worse condition,

they'd hang a "condemned"
sign on your nose.

Yeah? Well, they should hang

an "out of order"
sign on your mouth!

Stop, kids. Stop the arguing.

Hey!

I ain't going to throw it, baby.
This is my new child silencer.

♪ Mmmm... ♪

♪ Just looking out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinking how it all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good Times Good Times ♪

♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

NARRATOR: Good
Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪♪