Good Times (1974–1979): Season 1, Episode 1 - Too Old Blues - full transcript
Tests indicate that James is a candidate for a union apprenticeship program, but his birth certificate says differently.
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Anytime you meet a friend ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Anytime you're
out from under ♪
♪ Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled ♪
♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪
♪ Making a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Scratching and surviving ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Hanging in a chow line ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good Times ♪♪
Breakfast is ready
if you're hungry.
If you're not,
check the furniture,
you're in the wrong apartment.
Mmm. James!
What a gorgeous
hunk of woman here.
I don't know about the gorgeous,
but I'm sure a lot of hunk.
You know, one thing I
never worry about, baby,
is that energy crisis,
'cause I got my own
personal heating system.
You're not so bad yourself.
A good-looking man like you
could have had any
woman in Chicago.
True, but I married you.
If that's a compliment,
I'm Wilt Chamberlain.
You know I didn't
mean it that way.
Give me one good reason
why you married me.
You was pregnant.
James, you ought to
be ashamed of yourself.
Baby, you know I'm just joking.
That ain't nothing
to joke about.
Suppose one of the
kids had heard you say
they was born out of wedlock?
Wouldn't bother me none.
I ain't the oldest.
You mean y'all
waited for the
preacher to say the word
before y'all had me?
You better know it.
Don't spread it around.
My friends will
never stop jiving me.
Look who finally got
back from her honeymoon
in the bathroom mirror.
Knock it off, JJ.
Your mouth is always
ahead of your think-piece.
If that's the best you look
after all that time in there,
you should sue the
mirror for nonsupport.
JJ, if you were to
look into that mirror,
it would break so bad
we would have 17
years of hard luck.
Don't nobody say
"good morning" no more?
Right away, it's
choose your corner
and come out fighting.
Let's face it, James...
this family ain't
Ozzie and Harriet.
Junior, stop hanging around here
collecting dust.
Go on downstairs
and get the mail.
Can't I eat first?
If I don't eat right, my
little body may crumble up.
Well, it ain't going to kill
you to eat a few minutes later.
Go on, get the mail, please.
And, Junior,
don't think of taking
mail that ain't ours.
I don't take things, Mama.
I find them.
Then don't find any
mail that ain't ours.
God didn't make man to steal.
Then how come he gave
us more pockets than hands?
Will you get the mail, please?
What's the big
rush about the mail?
Baby, I've been waiting
almost a week now
for the go-ahead on that
union job training program.
I want to see if it came.
James, don't get your
hopes up too high.
Oh, no.
I got good vibes
about this one, baby.
When I took the tests,
the look on that
man's face read J-O-B.
Well, let's hope the
J-O-B was for Y-O-U.
It's your time to say
the blessing, Michael.
Thank the Lord for the food.
Thank you, God, for the food.
Michael, wasn't
that a little fast?
Not for him, Mama.
He picks up just like... that.
Don't be smart, Michael.
Oh, Mama, I
can't deal with this.
Not oatmeal again.
Be grateful for oatmeal or
anything else on this table.
Remember, this family got
through the meat shortage
without even knowing
there was one.
I wish we could
have Cream of Wheat
for a change.
Yeah, at least they've
got a black man on the box.
Hush up, both of you,
and eat your breakfast.
Well, let's see
what all the equal
opportunity employers
have for James
Evans this morning.
Here's one...
Computer designer,
college graduate.
Ain't that tender?
Only missed that one
by four years college,
four years high school,
and two years public school.
Well, don't they have
anything for mechanics?
You're a very handy man, James.
And that's it right there, baby.
When you're white,
you're a mechanic.
When you're black,
you're a handyman.
Good morning, folks.
Hi, Willona.
Come on in and
have a cup of coffee.
Good.
I just ran into your oldest,
Rodney Allen Ripoff.
I asked him to check my mail.
I'm waiting for the
overdue alimony check
from my darling ex-husband.
You know something?
I never could figure out
why you married a
dude like that anyhow.
Well, we were in love.
I was 20, young and innocent.
Well, anyway, I was young.
Our marriage was fine
until Alvin started
coming home less and less
and stepping out more and more
steady trying to
prove his point.
What point? That a married man
can live with a wife
and another woman
at the same time.
You mean Alvin was
committing adultery?
Michael!
All right, young man,
I want to know
right here and now
what kind of book
you was reading
that uses such a word.
The Bible.
Score at the end
of the first inning:
Michael one, Florida nothing.
Hey, Junior. What
took you so long?
The elevator conked out, baby.
I had to walk up the stairs.
Lots of things happening
in the building this morning.
On the sixth floor, I ran
into an exterminator...
So? They got roaches.
No, this cat was looking
to exterminate a dude.
And on the tenth floor,
some cat was yelling
for water for his shower.
He finally got it
when the toilet on the
11th floor backed up.
Hey, baby? This is it!
The word I've been waiting for.
I told you I read
that cat's face right.
You got the job?
Listen here.
The letter says
that I, James Evans,
have passed the
written aptitude test
for the union
apprentice program.
Furthermore, I got an interview
at the Dearborn Building
at 10:00 a.m. today.
Finally, now,
it says that as an apprentice,
I'll be making $2.50 an hour,
and when I complete the program,
I'm going to go all the
way up to $4.25 an hour!
Hallelujah!
Goodbye, oatmeal.
Hello, Cream of Wheat.
Oo-ee! $4.25 an hour.
James, that puts you
in the same league
as bank presidents and bookies.
I'd better hurry up
and get dressed.
I don't want to
be late for this gig.
Whoo! We're going to be so rich
and have so much money,
I won't have to find my
art supplies no more.
And I'm going to get a wardrobe
that'll make Diahann
Carroll look like a nun.
And I'm going to
give all my money
to the cause of Black Unity.
Oh, hush up, all of you,
and stop this daydreaming.
It's time to get your books
and get ready for school... now.
Girl, I'm really happy for you,
James getting a good
steady job like this.
Yeah, when you
think of all the things
that man has done to
keep this family together...
Dishwasher. Laundry helper.
Night watchman. Floor sweeper.
And all that was just last week.
Well, that's all over now.
He's soon going to
be making $4.25 hour.
It's hard to believe.
You know, up to now,
the minimum wages has
always been his maximum.
Bye, Mama. I'm going.
Bye, sweetheart.
You sure got a load of
schoolbooks there, Gramps.
Oh, they ain't all schoolbooks.
See, this one's
from the library.
It's on the writings
of Malcolm X.
Don't they teach about
Malcolm X in school?
Are you kidding?
The teachers in my school
still call Muhammad
Ali "Cassius Clay."
Thelma? JJ. Ain't you going yet?
I'm waiting to get
in the bathroom.
Thelma's in there again.
Hey, girl. You ever
getting out of there?
I'm coming.
I'm putting the
finishing touches
to my makeup.
Ain't going to help you none.
Mother Nature already
finished you good.
Leave Thelma alone.
Okay, but I'll have to
run all the way to school.
You know, Florida, I
think he's going to make it.
I'll see you later.
Thelma!
You know, girl, you do use up
an awful lot of this
family's bathroom time.
Well, I've got to
look together, Ma.
You never know when
I might meet Mr. Right.
Well, let's just hope
for Mr. Right's sake,
he's got two bathrooms.
Hey, baby, how I look?
James, you got on
your going-to-funeral suit.
Why not?
Today I'm burying poverty.
You know, when you go for
a job that pays $4.25, baby,
you dress up.
Hot damn! How high is up?
James, you ain't going
to need an elevator
to get into that
Dearborn Building.
You can just fly in
through the window.
Baby, when I get home
tonight, we're going to party hard.
Now, I want barbecued
chicken, ribs, music...
you can hire The
Temptations if you want them,
and look here,
since I'm going to be
making a white man's salary,
let's do something real white.
Let's drink champagne.
Whoa, hold on there, Onassis.
What do I use for
money for this orgy?
Take it out of the rent money.
Okay, whatever you
say, Mr. Breadwinner.
Mr. Breadwinner?
Hell, I am
Mr. Whole-Dinner-Winner!
Now, don't forget now,
food, music, champagne...
Look here, don't
hire The Temptations.
Make it the Supremes,
and with Diana Ross.
Thank you, Lord.
In my heart, I always knew
you was the biggest
equal opportunity employer
of them all.
Judging from your high
mechanical aptitude
test scores, Mr...
Evans. Evans.
You look like a man
we can really use.
That's good. That's good.
Now, when do I start?
Oh, it says here you
were in the Army?
Army. Army.
You served in...?
Korea.
Did my full tour
of duty over there.
You are the father of...?
Three children,
aged 17, 16 and 11.
Did my full tour of
duty over here too.
Now, what day do I report?
You were born in 1942,
which means you served in Korea
when you were...
Ten?
Uh, no, no, no.
I was born in 1932. '32.
Thirty-two? It says
right here 1942.
Well, that's a
computer error, I guess.
We are suddenly
confronted with a big problem.
Yeah, I guess you'd better
get that computer fixed, huh?
No, you don't understand.
You see, the union
apprentice program
is designed for men between
the ages of 18 and 35.
I'm afraid that at
41, you're too old.
Too old? For what, man?
We're talking about working.
We ain't talking
about playing stick ball.
Yes, I know.
I'd like to help you,
but this project is
government-funded,
and government
rules can't be broken.
Now, wait a minute, now.
I done passed the
government physical test,
I done passed the
government mental test,
and I got a
government letter here
on government stationery
that says I'm certified,
qualified, and bona fide.
Now, I want the government job.
There's nothing I can
do. That's the way it is.
No, man, I'll tell
you the way it is.
I got a family.
They need food on the table
and clothes on their back,
and I've got to pay rent.
Now, I need that job.
Government rules
can't be broken.
Unless you're running
the government.
I understand, man.
I'm a senior citizen
who only has to
wait 24 more years
for his Social Security.
What's going on?
Hey, kids?
Knock it off!
Junior? Junior!
Junior?
Don't stop me now, Mama!
I'm past the point of no return!
Your motor is
going to be worn out
before the party starts.
Where'd all those
records come from?
Daddy wanted music,
so I got Isaac Hayes,
the Jackson Five,
Gladys Knight, Marvin
Gaye, Curtis Mayfield
and Harold Melvin
and the Bluenotes.
When he said music,
he didn't expect you
to hijack Soul Train.
Got all the
decorations finished?
Just about.
Oh, my good... I
forgot the potato chips.
JJ, you and Thelma
run down to the store
and get me a few bags.
Why I got to go?
Why can't Thelma go by herself?
Because if she goes out of here
dressed like that,
somebody's going
to mess with her.
Then why can't JJ go by himself?
Why I got to go with him?
To watch him.
I want the potato
chips bought, not found.
Hang up these
things here, honey.
Michael, don't
mess with my table.
Go in there and wash up.
Hi, kids. Hey, Willona.
Where they going?
To get some potato chips.
Hey, you really got
yourself together.
Well, it's a party, ain't it?
You never know when I
might meet some new dude,
and this is my way
of saying, "Available."
That dress ain't only
saying "available,"
it's also saying,
"Your place or mine?"
Oh, Florida, it's beautiful.
It looks like the Grand Ballroom
at the Ambassador East.
Mm-hm, everything
just like James wanted it.
Want me to help you do anything?
No, I've got everything
under control.
Ribs warming and
the champagne icing.
All right.
I hope I didn't spend
too much money
on this party.
Oh, Florida, come on.
Stop worrying about spending.
Are you chicken
about becoming rich?
Not chicken, just inexperienced.
Well, you're just going to
have to get used to it, honey.
Your man is on his
way up in the world,
and it won't be long
before you'll be saying,
"Goodbye, Cockroach
Towers." Hey!
Go on.
I ain't kidding.
You've got it made.
Knock, knock.
Good afternoon, Mrs. Evans,
I'm Miss Penelope Pittstock
from House Beautiful.
Ooh, Miss Penelope Pittstock?
Yes, and I just wanted to
tell you how honored we are
that you've permitted us to
do your new 80-room mansion
as our next cover layout.
Can I come in?
Oh, please do.
Thank you.
Won't you sit down?
Thank you.
My, what a lovely
sofa... all mink.
I never sit on
anything but mink.
It's a bother, though.
In the summer, I have
to put all my toilet seats
into cold storage.
What a lovely view
of Lake Michigan.
I've never seen such
high-class sewage.
Well, it is handy to
have the lake nearby.
My husband, James,
has his four yachts
anchored there.
Four yachts?
My dear, one for each direction.
Mrs. Evans, I can't wait to
see your master bedroom.
I hear it's simply fab.
Is it true that you
have a waterbed
filled with 20-year-old scotch?
Sleeping on scotch is
like sleeping on a cloud.
Yes, especially if
you nip between naps.
Listen to us carrying on.
That'll be the day,
when I'm living
so high on the hog
I don't know what chitlins are.
You were Florida Evans
before James got this gig,
and you'll be the
same Florida Evans
when he starts bringing
home that long green.
You better know it. Party time!
Party time!
Well, you kids got back fast.
Yeah, this is a day of miracles.
I didn't fight with JJ, and
the elevator's working.
Here's your change, Mama.
Thank you, son.
You know, it's kind
of fun being rich.
I've been in that
store a dozen times,
but that's the first time
I've ever been involved
in a cash transaction.
Hey, Willona.
Ooh, Gramps, you look so sharp.
You're going to have
to fight off all the girls.
Well, what they see is
what they're going to get.
Well, that must be the company.
I'll get it, JJ.
Hey!
Florida, I couldn't be happier
if it was my wife who got a job.
Oh, thank you, Monty.
Folks? Folks...
Now, James will soon be here.
When he gets here,
I want us to give him
a great big welcome.
Now, let's all sing.
And a-one, and a-two...
Mama!
You count off like that,
and Daddy will think we've
moved into a white neighborhood.
Hey, Mama, here he comes now!
So, y'all, let's hit
it. Ready? And...
♪ For he's a jolly good dude ♪
♪ For he's a groovy dude ♪
♪ For he's a groovy dude
That nobody can deny ♪
♪ That nobody can deny
That nobody can deny ♪
♪ For he's a groovy dude ♪
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪♪
That's the kind of
sugar my diet don't mind.
'Course, too much of
that can be fattening too.
Hey, James, how does it
feel to be the man of the hour?
Great.
Ain't the decorations
out-of-sight, Daddy?
Yeah. How much of the rent
money did you spend for them?
Like the man says, if
you've got to ask how much,
you can't afford it.
James, this is going
to be a celebration
you'll never forget.
Yeah, I got that feeling.
Baby, I've got to
tell you something.
Dad! Hey, Dad, Dad, Dad!
I've got my eye on
this super-bad suit.
It's a bad suede pantsuit
with a bad suede hat
and bad shoes. Ooh!
With all that bad,
it can't be good.
And I think we ought to get
Mama one bad 25-inch color TV.
Now, wait a minute.
What's wrong with
the 16-inch black-and-white
TV we've got?
The picture tube's weak.
The white ain't right, and
the black ain't beautiful.
I've got to tell you something.
When I got there...
Look, honey, honey.
I'm dying to hear
all the good news,
every word of it,
but first, let's have
some champagne!
Come on, Thelma.
Florida, you bought champagne?
Well, you told me to.
I got that imported stuff
all the way from
Napa Valley, California.
Daddy, can I have a
word with you... Yeah.
About my wheels.
Your wheels?
Yeah, that car you're
going to get me.
It could be secondhand,
but it'll sure make
life a whole lot easier.
Man-to-man, you
know how hard it is
trying to make out with a
chick on a crowded bus?
Junior, don't throw
your bus tokens away
just yet, hear?
Champagne, everybody!
Folks... I want to make a toast
to my husband, James, who...
No, James, you're
the guest of honor.
You make the toast.
Here's to men from 18 to 35,
'cause that's who
the union job training
program was for.
I didn't get the job.
They said I was too old.
Too old?
James? James...
Wow, what a rip-off.
Whoever said he was
too old don't know Daddy.
I'd like to see the dude
who called him too old.
I'd tell him about those
not-too-old whippings.
Daddy ain't too old.
He could do that
job at the union.
He could do anything
anybody gave him a chance to.
I'm sorry, baby.
I wanted to tell you,
but I just didn't have the heart
to smash your dreams.
It ain't all that bad, James.
This family has stood up
to a whole lot of
dream-smashing.
Yeah. You know, I thought
if I'd have got that job,
that we were going to be okay.
Instead, we're broke.
What was we yesterday?
Broke.
And probably will
be again tomorrow.
But, James, you always
see this family through.
You can do it.
Yeah, that's my baby.
So I missed out.
What's the big deal?
What would it have meant anyhow?
Some more spending
money, fancy clothes,
a nicer place to live.
What I need a union job for
when I got you and
these kids? Huh?
You don't.
You'd better believe I don't.
But it sure would've been nice.
Well, baby,
thanks to hard
work, perseverance,
and Willie Washington next door,
it's going to be Al's
Car Wash for one week.
Now, it ain't going to make
us independently wealthy,
but it'll replace the rent money
and buy us a little food too.
James, you still didn't tell me
how the job opening came up.
Look here.
He told me one of
the regulars got drunk,
took off all his clothes,
and tried to take a shower
through the car wash.
Said he'd have made it too,
if he hadn't stopped
to hot wax his hair.
♪ Mmm... ♪
♪ Just looking out
of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinking how it all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good Times Good Times ♪
♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪
♪ Making a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
Good Times is recorded on tape
before a live audience.
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good Times ♪♪
♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Anytime you meet a friend ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Anytime you're
out from under ♪
♪ Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled ♪
♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪
♪ Making a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Scratching and surviving ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Hanging in a chow line ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good Times ♪♪
Breakfast is ready
if you're hungry.
If you're not,
check the furniture,
you're in the wrong apartment.
Mmm. James!
What a gorgeous
hunk of woman here.
I don't know about the gorgeous,
but I'm sure a lot of hunk.
You know, one thing I
never worry about, baby,
is that energy crisis,
'cause I got my own
personal heating system.
You're not so bad yourself.
A good-looking man like you
could have had any
woman in Chicago.
True, but I married you.
If that's a compliment,
I'm Wilt Chamberlain.
You know I didn't
mean it that way.
Give me one good reason
why you married me.
You was pregnant.
James, you ought to
be ashamed of yourself.
Baby, you know I'm just joking.
That ain't nothing
to joke about.
Suppose one of the
kids had heard you say
they was born out of wedlock?
Wouldn't bother me none.
I ain't the oldest.
You mean y'all
waited for the
preacher to say the word
before y'all had me?
You better know it.
Don't spread it around.
My friends will
never stop jiving me.
Look who finally got
back from her honeymoon
in the bathroom mirror.
Knock it off, JJ.
Your mouth is always
ahead of your think-piece.
If that's the best you look
after all that time in there,
you should sue the
mirror for nonsupport.
JJ, if you were to
look into that mirror,
it would break so bad
we would have 17
years of hard luck.
Don't nobody say
"good morning" no more?
Right away, it's
choose your corner
and come out fighting.
Let's face it, James...
this family ain't
Ozzie and Harriet.
Junior, stop hanging around here
collecting dust.
Go on downstairs
and get the mail.
Can't I eat first?
If I don't eat right, my
little body may crumble up.
Well, it ain't going to kill
you to eat a few minutes later.
Go on, get the mail, please.
And, Junior,
don't think of taking
mail that ain't ours.
I don't take things, Mama.
I find them.
Then don't find any
mail that ain't ours.
God didn't make man to steal.
Then how come he gave
us more pockets than hands?
Will you get the mail, please?
What's the big
rush about the mail?
Baby, I've been waiting
almost a week now
for the go-ahead on that
union job training program.
I want to see if it came.
James, don't get your
hopes up too high.
Oh, no.
I got good vibes
about this one, baby.
When I took the tests,
the look on that
man's face read J-O-B.
Well, let's hope the
J-O-B was for Y-O-U.
It's your time to say
the blessing, Michael.
Thank the Lord for the food.
Thank you, God, for the food.
Michael, wasn't
that a little fast?
Not for him, Mama.
He picks up just like... that.
Don't be smart, Michael.
Oh, Mama, I
can't deal with this.
Not oatmeal again.
Be grateful for oatmeal or
anything else on this table.
Remember, this family got
through the meat shortage
without even knowing
there was one.
I wish we could
have Cream of Wheat
for a change.
Yeah, at least they've
got a black man on the box.
Hush up, both of you,
and eat your breakfast.
Well, let's see
what all the equal
opportunity employers
have for James
Evans this morning.
Here's one...
Computer designer,
college graduate.
Ain't that tender?
Only missed that one
by four years college,
four years high school,
and two years public school.
Well, don't they have
anything for mechanics?
You're a very handy man, James.
And that's it right there, baby.
When you're white,
you're a mechanic.
When you're black,
you're a handyman.
Good morning, folks.
Hi, Willona.
Come on in and
have a cup of coffee.
Good.
I just ran into your oldest,
Rodney Allen Ripoff.
I asked him to check my mail.
I'm waiting for the
overdue alimony check
from my darling ex-husband.
You know something?
I never could figure out
why you married a
dude like that anyhow.
Well, we were in love.
I was 20, young and innocent.
Well, anyway, I was young.
Our marriage was fine
until Alvin started
coming home less and less
and stepping out more and more
steady trying to
prove his point.
What point? That a married man
can live with a wife
and another woman
at the same time.
You mean Alvin was
committing adultery?
Michael!
All right, young man,
I want to know
right here and now
what kind of book
you was reading
that uses such a word.
The Bible.
Score at the end
of the first inning:
Michael one, Florida nothing.
Hey, Junior. What
took you so long?
The elevator conked out, baby.
I had to walk up the stairs.
Lots of things happening
in the building this morning.
On the sixth floor, I ran
into an exterminator...
So? They got roaches.
No, this cat was looking
to exterminate a dude.
And on the tenth floor,
some cat was yelling
for water for his shower.
He finally got it
when the toilet on the
11th floor backed up.
Hey, baby? This is it!
The word I've been waiting for.
I told you I read
that cat's face right.
You got the job?
Listen here.
The letter says
that I, James Evans,
have passed the
written aptitude test
for the union
apprentice program.
Furthermore, I got an interview
at the Dearborn Building
at 10:00 a.m. today.
Finally, now,
it says that as an apprentice,
I'll be making $2.50 an hour,
and when I complete the program,
I'm going to go all the
way up to $4.25 an hour!
Hallelujah!
Goodbye, oatmeal.
Hello, Cream of Wheat.
Oo-ee! $4.25 an hour.
James, that puts you
in the same league
as bank presidents and bookies.
I'd better hurry up
and get dressed.
I don't want to
be late for this gig.
Whoo! We're going to be so rich
and have so much money,
I won't have to find my
art supplies no more.
And I'm going to get a wardrobe
that'll make Diahann
Carroll look like a nun.
And I'm going to
give all my money
to the cause of Black Unity.
Oh, hush up, all of you,
and stop this daydreaming.
It's time to get your books
and get ready for school... now.
Girl, I'm really happy for you,
James getting a good
steady job like this.
Yeah, when you
think of all the things
that man has done to
keep this family together...
Dishwasher. Laundry helper.
Night watchman. Floor sweeper.
And all that was just last week.
Well, that's all over now.
He's soon going to
be making $4.25 hour.
It's hard to believe.
You know, up to now,
the minimum wages has
always been his maximum.
Bye, Mama. I'm going.
Bye, sweetheart.
You sure got a load of
schoolbooks there, Gramps.
Oh, they ain't all schoolbooks.
See, this one's
from the library.
It's on the writings
of Malcolm X.
Don't they teach about
Malcolm X in school?
Are you kidding?
The teachers in my school
still call Muhammad
Ali "Cassius Clay."
Thelma? JJ. Ain't you going yet?
I'm waiting to get
in the bathroom.
Thelma's in there again.
Hey, girl. You ever
getting out of there?
I'm coming.
I'm putting the
finishing touches
to my makeup.
Ain't going to help you none.
Mother Nature already
finished you good.
Leave Thelma alone.
Okay, but I'll have to
run all the way to school.
You know, Florida, I
think he's going to make it.
I'll see you later.
Thelma!
You know, girl, you do use up
an awful lot of this
family's bathroom time.
Well, I've got to
look together, Ma.
You never know when
I might meet Mr. Right.
Well, let's just hope
for Mr. Right's sake,
he's got two bathrooms.
Hey, baby, how I look?
James, you got on
your going-to-funeral suit.
Why not?
Today I'm burying poverty.
You know, when you go for
a job that pays $4.25, baby,
you dress up.
Hot damn! How high is up?
James, you ain't going
to need an elevator
to get into that
Dearborn Building.
You can just fly in
through the window.
Baby, when I get home
tonight, we're going to party hard.
Now, I want barbecued
chicken, ribs, music...
you can hire The
Temptations if you want them,
and look here,
since I'm going to be
making a white man's salary,
let's do something real white.
Let's drink champagne.
Whoa, hold on there, Onassis.
What do I use for
money for this orgy?
Take it out of the rent money.
Okay, whatever you
say, Mr. Breadwinner.
Mr. Breadwinner?
Hell, I am
Mr. Whole-Dinner-Winner!
Now, don't forget now,
food, music, champagne...
Look here, don't
hire The Temptations.
Make it the Supremes,
and with Diana Ross.
Thank you, Lord.
In my heart, I always knew
you was the biggest
equal opportunity employer
of them all.
Judging from your high
mechanical aptitude
test scores, Mr...
Evans. Evans.
You look like a man
we can really use.
That's good. That's good.
Now, when do I start?
Oh, it says here you
were in the Army?
Army. Army.
You served in...?
Korea.
Did my full tour
of duty over there.
You are the father of...?
Three children,
aged 17, 16 and 11.
Did my full tour of
duty over here too.
Now, what day do I report?
You were born in 1942,
which means you served in Korea
when you were...
Ten?
Uh, no, no, no.
I was born in 1932. '32.
Thirty-two? It says
right here 1942.
Well, that's a
computer error, I guess.
We are suddenly
confronted with a big problem.
Yeah, I guess you'd better
get that computer fixed, huh?
No, you don't understand.
You see, the union
apprentice program
is designed for men between
the ages of 18 and 35.
I'm afraid that at
41, you're too old.
Too old? For what, man?
We're talking about working.
We ain't talking
about playing stick ball.
Yes, I know.
I'd like to help you,
but this project is
government-funded,
and government
rules can't be broken.
Now, wait a minute, now.
I done passed the
government physical test,
I done passed the
government mental test,
and I got a
government letter here
on government stationery
that says I'm certified,
qualified, and bona fide.
Now, I want the government job.
There's nothing I can
do. That's the way it is.
No, man, I'll tell
you the way it is.
I got a family.
They need food on the table
and clothes on their back,
and I've got to pay rent.
Now, I need that job.
Government rules
can't be broken.
Unless you're running
the government.
I understand, man.
I'm a senior citizen
who only has to
wait 24 more years
for his Social Security.
What's going on?
Hey, kids?
Knock it off!
Junior? Junior!
Junior?
Don't stop me now, Mama!
I'm past the point of no return!
Your motor is
going to be worn out
before the party starts.
Where'd all those
records come from?
Daddy wanted music,
so I got Isaac Hayes,
the Jackson Five,
Gladys Knight, Marvin
Gaye, Curtis Mayfield
and Harold Melvin
and the Bluenotes.
When he said music,
he didn't expect you
to hijack Soul Train.
Got all the
decorations finished?
Just about.
Oh, my good... I
forgot the potato chips.
JJ, you and Thelma
run down to the store
and get me a few bags.
Why I got to go?
Why can't Thelma go by herself?
Because if she goes out of here
dressed like that,
somebody's going
to mess with her.
Then why can't JJ go by himself?
Why I got to go with him?
To watch him.
I want the potato
chips bought, not found.
Hang up these
things here, honey.
Michael, don't
mess with my table.
Go in there and wash up.
Hi, kids. Hey, Willona.
Where they going?
To get some potato chips.
Hey, you really got
yourself together.
Well, it's a party, ain't it?
You never know when I
might meet some new dude,
and this is my way
of saying, "Available."
That dress ain't only
saying "available,"
it's also saying,
"Your place or mine?"
Oh, Florida, it's beautiful.
It looks like the Grand Ballroom
at the Ambassador East.
Mm-hm, everything
just like James wanted it.
Want me to help you do anything?
No, I've got everything
under control.
Ribs warming and
the champagne icing.
All right.
I hope I didn't spend
too much money
on this party.
Oh, Florida, come on.
Stop worrying about spending.
Are you chicken
about becoming rich?
Not chicken, just inexperienced.
Well, you're just going to
have to get used to it, honey.
Your man is on his
way up in the world,
and it won't be long
before you'll be saying,
"Goodbye, Cockroach
Towers." Hey!
Go on.
I ain't kidding.
You've got it made.
Knock, knock.
Good afternoon, Mrs. Evans,
I'm Miss Penelope Pittstock
from House Beautiful.
Ooh, Miss Penelope Pittstock?
Yes, and I just wanted to
tell you how honored we are
that you've permitted us to
do your new 80-room mansion
as our next cover layout.
Can I come in?
Oh, please do.
Thank you.
Won't you sit down?
Thank you.
My, what a lovely
sofa... all mink.
I never sit on
anything but mink.
It's a bother, though.
In the summer, I have
to put all my toilet seats
into cold storage.
What a lovely view
of Lake Michigan.
I've never seen such
high-class sewage.
Well, it is handy to
have the lake nearby.
My husband, James,
has his four yachts
anchored there.
Four yachts?
My dear, one for each direction.
Mrs. Evans, I can't wait to
see your master bedroom.
I hear it's simply fab.
Is it true that you
have a waterbed
filled with 20-year-old scotch?
Sleeping on scotch is
like sleeping on a cloud.
Yes, especially if
you nip between naps.
Listen to us carrying on.
That'll be the day,
when I'm living
so high on the hog
I don't know what chitlins are.
You were Florida Evans
before James got this gig,
and you'll be the
same Florida Evans
when he starts bringing
home that long green.
You better know it. Party time!
Party time!
Well, you kids got back fast.
Yeah, this is a day of miracles.
I didn't fight with JJ, and
the elevator's working.
Here's your change, Mama.
Thank you, son.
You know, it's kind
of fun being rich.
I've been in that
store a dozen times,
but that's the first time
I've ever been involved
in a cash transaction.
Hey, Willona.
Ooh, Gramps, you look so sharp.
You're going to have
to fight off all the girls.
Well, what they see is
what they're going to get.
Well, that must be the company.
I'll get it, JJ.
Hey!
Florida, I couldn't be happier
if it was my wife who got a job.
Oh, thank you, Monty.
Folks? Folks...
Now, James will soon be here.
When he gets here,
I want us to give him
a great big welcome.
Now, let's all sing.
And a-one, and a-two...
Mama!
You count off like that,
and Daddy will think we've
moved into a white neighborhood.
Hey, Mama, here he comes now!
So, y'all, let's hit
it. Ready? And...
♪ For he's a jolly good dude ♪
♪ For he's a groovy dude ♪
♪ For he's a groovy dude
That nobody can deny ♪
♪ That nobody can deny
That nobody can deny ♪
♪ For he's a groovy dude ♪
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪♪
That's the kind of
sugar my diet don't mind.
'Course, too much of
that can be fattening too.
Hey, James, how does it
feel to be the man of the hour?
Great.
Ain't the decorations
out-of-sight, Daddy?
Yeah. How much of the rent
money did you spend for them?
Like the man says, if
you've got to ask how much,
you can't afford it.
James, this is going
to be a celebration
you'll never forget.
Yeah, I got that feeling.
Baby, I've got to
tell you something.
Dad! Hey, Dad, Dad, Dad!
I've got my eye on
this super-bad suit.
It's a bad suede pantsuit
with a bad suede hat
and bad shoes. Ooh!
With all that bad,
it can't be good.
And I think we ought to get
Mama one bad 25-inch color TV.
Now, wait a minute.
What's wrong with
the 16-inch black-and-white
TV we've got?
The picture tube's weak.
The white ain't right, and
the black ain't beautiful.
I've got to tell you something.
When I got there...
Look, honey, honey.
I'm dying to hear
all the good news,
every word of it,
but first, let's have
some champagne!
Come on, Thelma.
Florida, you bought champagne?
Well, you told me to.
I got that imported stuff
all the way from
Napa Valley, California.
Daddy, can I have a
word with you... Yeah.
About my wheels.
Your wheels?
Yeah, that car you're
going to get me.
It could be secondhand,
but it'll sure make
life a whole lot easier.
Man-to-man, you
know how hard it is
trying to make out with a
chick on a crowded bus?
Junior, don't throw
your bus tokens away
just yet, hear?
Champagne, everybody!
Folks... I want to make a toast
to my husband, James, who...
No, James, you're
the guest of honor.
You make the toast.
Here's to men from 18 to 35,
'cause that's who
the union job training
program was for.
I didn't get the job.
They said I was too old.
Too old?
James? James...
Wow, what a rip-off.
Whoever said he was
too old don't know Daddy.
I'd like to see the dude
who called him too old.
I'd tell him about those
not-too-old whippings.
Daddy ain't too old.
He could do that
job at the union.
He could do anything
anybody gave him a chance to.
I'm sorry, baby.
I wanted to tell you,
but I just didn't have the heart
to smash your dreams.
It ain't all that bad, James.
This family has stood up
to a whole lot of
dream-smashing.
Yeah. You know, I thought
if I'd have got that job,
that we were going to be okay.
Instead, we're broke.
What was we yesterday?
Broke.
And probably will
be again tomorrow.
But, James, you always
see this family through.
You can do it.
Yeah, that's my baby.
So I missed out.
What's the big deal?
What would it have meant anyhow?
Some more spending
money, fancy clothes,
a nicer place to live.
What I need a union job for
when I got you and
these kids? Huh?
You don't.
You'd better believe I don't.
But it sure would've been nice.
Well, baby,
thanks to hard
work, perseverance,
and Willie Washington next door,
it's going to be Al's
Car Wash for one week.
Now, it ain't going to make
us independently wealthy,
but it'll replace the rent money
and buy us a little food too.
James, you still didn't tell me
how the job opening came up.
Look here.
He told me one of
the regulars got drunk,
took off all his clothes,
and tried to take a shower
through the car wash.
Said he'd have made it too,
if he hadn't stopped
to hot wax his hair.
♪ Mmm... ♪
♪ Just looking out
of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinking how it all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good Times Good Times ♪
♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪
♪ Making a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
Good Times is recorded on tape
before a live audience.
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good Times ♪♪