Good Grief (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Heart Attack - full transcript
-Nothing would make me more
happy than to make you my wife.
Will you marry me?
- Congratulations!
- Move!
Morning, there.
Look at us... out and
about, team bonding.
-I made breakfast
muffins for everyone.
- Oh, thanks, Shares.
- They're really moist.
I'm famous for my moist muff.
-Mmm, yummy.
-Alrighty. Um...
Who's ready for some first aid?
-Arguably, the
more lives we save,
the less business we get, so...
-We work in a
funeral home, so...
Okay, shall we? Yeah.
- Groovy.
I'm gonna wait, but thank you.
- Get down, get down, get down!
-There's a man out there with
a gun, and he's got my baby!
-Oh, please, Jesus! Ah!
-Emergencies.
They can happen
anywhere, anywhen.
-Wait, what the fuck?
-I'm Bronty, your
danger specialist,
and that was your first lesson.
- Um...
Is this is the first aid course?
-Yes.
-I've had an accident.
-I could tell.
Costume's a bit much.
- Sorry, costume?
- Yeah, your little...
A-ha.
-We're ready.
-Um...
This bitch is
crazy. I'm leaving.
-You can't leave.
I've already paid.
-Well, believe it or not,
I'd rather be back
at the office.
-No, you of all people
need to know first aid.
-What is that supposed to mean?
-Well, your
ex-boyfriend's in a coma.
- Who?
- Tyler.
-Oh, yeah, Tyler. I keep
forgetting about him.
I should visit.
- Yeah.
-But he won't know,
so it doesn't matter.
Anyway, one of us needs
to be back at the office,
and I nominate
myself. Goodbye.
-No, no, no. The
answering machine's on.
Trisha is there.
We've got it covered.
- I don't want to be here.
- Whisper, whisper, whisper,
whisper, whisper.
Sit down.
Let's get started, shall we?
Who wants brain damage?
Not me.
Do you?
-No.
-How long have you got?
- Pardon?
- How longhave you got?
-Sorry, I don't really
understand the question.
-Ten minutes without oxygen
results in permanent
brain damage.
That's why we learn CPR.
Start the clock.
It's meat week at the
supermarket, and...
- Murray.
- Murray is having a barbecue.
Where's your trolley?
Where's your trolley, Murray?
Murray's experiencing
chest pains.
Most people don't know
they're having a heart attack
when it's happening.
-Oh.
What's happening?
-Tick, tock, tick, tock.
-Should we do something?
-I don't know. Should you?
-Murray's collapsed.
- Oh, oh.
- Tick, tock.
-Get in there, Beau.
-When Beau approaches Murray,
he slips on a stray sausage,
falling to the ground, hitting
his head on the floor hard,
dying instantly.
-Oh, oh, damn.
-And now Murray's dead, too.
-Oh, nice try, Beau.
-No, not nice try.
No, because if Beau had
checked for hazards,
they'd both still be alive.
- Yep.
- Oh, what's that?
Now Murray's dog's dead, too,
locked in the car
with the windows up.
- Sorry, boy.
- Fuck.
- Don't swear.
- Sorry.
- I love you.
- I love you.
-Pah, pah, pah. 100
beats per minute.
Okay, you're rushing it
now. You're rushing it now.
Gently, there we go. Good.
- Don't.
That lady's such a bitch.
-Oh.
Oh.
Oh, grim.
Two months today?
- What's that?
- Since Hemi.
You doing okay?
- Oh, thanks, Shares.
Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah.
Just got to keep moving
forward. How are you?
-I'm gonna have to get
changed at lunchtime.
I'm soaked.
- When was that?
- At the beginning.
Just, it won't dry.
-Oh.
Do you want to have a go?
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah. Close.
- Yeah.
- Go... Go for the green.
- Oh.
- The green lights.
-Ahoy, Miss Lady,
is it like this?
- No, you need to
create a seal around the mouth.
-Oh, okay.
How about kind of
like, um... like this?
-No, well, now you're
constricting his airways.
- Am I?
- Yes.
-No, Gwen, I think it's more
like... like this, here.
-Oh, yeah, take your jacket off.
-Yeah, that makes sense.
-Howdoes that make sense?
-Makes sense to me.
Yeah.
-Oh, excuse me, Miss Bronty.
Am I... Am I doing
it fast enough?
-Wow. That was speedy!
What about if it passes
out, like, standing up?
Then, right?
Like this?
Thought you did a runner.
-No, no.
There was no vegetarian options,
so I got you some chips.
-Aw!
You also got you some chips.
-Yeah. Sandwiches
were all soggy, so...
-Thank you. Where's
Frankie today?
-No, nowhere. I gave
her the keys earlier,
and I haven't seen her since.
No. No, jokes. Um...
Her mum sent me this.
-Wait, is that...
-Hey, Artie. Artie!
Frankie's picking
up the cow dung.
Oh no, no, no, no!
- Oh, my God.
How can she literally eat
shit and still be cute?
- Yeah, I know.
You're a good dad.
-Thank you.
You're a... you're a good boss.
-No, I'm not.
I'm actually not.
-No, you got... cool hair.
- Cool hair?
- Yeah.
-Sweet. Thanks.
-Yummy. Club sammies.
So, Samson, um, what
brings you here?
-Oh, well, um, Lena
and I have made
the ultimate commitment
to each other.
- And to God.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- Did you get a dog?
- Oh, no.
Uh, we got married, 104
days ago, and it's strong.
We're so in love.
- We're so in love.
- Jinx.
- Jinx.
You owe me a juice.
- No, no, no.
You can't drink any more juice
'cause it'll ruin
your pearly whites.
So what? We want to spend the
rest of our lives together,
so we're doing this course
so we're prepared so that
if something ever
happened to us...
No, I'm sorry. I just can't
imagine my life without you.
-Aw, that's lovely.
-Oh, you have chives
in your teeth.
-Oh.
-Can I tell you something?
I bought my flight
to Bali to DJ.
-Oh, amazing.
- Yeah.
- Great.
- Mm.
- Good for you.
-I think I just needed a nudge,
so thank you for backing me.
What? Do you
think I shouldn't?
- No.
- Do you think it's stupid?
- No, no.
- You think it's silly?
- It's great. It's great.
- You can say if you think
it's stupid.
- But I was just gonna...
maybe ask you out.
Maybe.
-That's good.
-Oh.
-Uh-oh-oh-oh. Oh, is that a...
Is that a hair?
-Oh, it's probably
just one of mine.
- Ah.
- Mm.
-Well, having you here
makes me really miss Hemi.
-Oh.
I miss him, too.
-You two are so different.
-Oh, I think we
were quite similar.
-Mm, no, I don't
really see that.
-Well, we had a lot
in common, so...
-Mm. Seems like you're on a
very different path, though.
-I think I'm on the same path,
maybe just going
a different speed.
- Not really.
- I think so.
-Mm, he was the best.
He'd be thrilled I'm taking
on more responsibility.
-Yeah. Wh...
Wait, sorry, what do you mean?
-Oh, did Gwen not tell you?
Oh, you and I... We're
gonna be partners.
I hope I didn't
ruin the surprise.
- Partners?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm buying her out.
-Come on, people.
30 minutes means 30 minutes.
Oi, Pollyanna, on your back.
Where are the other two?
Oi!
-Oh.
All right.
- She's such a psycho.
-Oh, gosh, it fell.
-Eyes closed.
Okay, you... you're on
your way to the mall,
and, uh, Crockpots are 60% off,
and you love your
slow-cooked meat, okay?
But what's that in the distance?
A twisted wreckage of a car and
a motionless body beside it.
You're the first on the scene.
What do you do?
-Okay. Uh, "D"... danger.
Um, I don't know.
Everything looks okay.
-No, no. It's too risky.
You just get out of there.
-If you don't do
anything, she's gonna die.
What next?
- "R"... response.
Um, can you hear me?
- Louder!
- Can you hear me?!
- Ow, stop!
- No response!
- Now what?
- Uh, call an ambulance.
- Hello, ambulance?
Yes, you need to describe
the situation in full detail.
-Um, there's been an accident.
There's a woman, um, late 30s.
- I'm 29.
- Really?
Oh. She's wearing, um, mum jeans
and a weird skivvy
and... Is that helpful?
-She's got quite
oily skin, as well.
Not sure if that's
important. Just...
- Yeah.
- Uh, no muscle tone.
- And heaps of, uh, split ends.
- Yep, yep.
-Actually, dry skin, as well...
Combination, like a oily-dry...
Like, both.
- You're the sunken treasure.
- Knobby knees.
- Ah, yeah, no,
her breath smells real stale.
- You've torpedoed my heart.
- Your life seems awesome.
- Scrapes her hair back.
- Oh, yeah.
- Quite severe.
- Lonely.
-I can't imagine my
life without you.
-Just have an experience.
-She looks like she doesn't
contribute to society.
-I know you've got
nothing better to do,
but I'm going to Bali.
- She's a bit passive-aggressive.
- You can never teach again.
- Nothing would make me
more happy than to
make you my wife.
- You got fired, you dumb fuck.
- Could be suicide.
- Okay. What next?
- Airways. Um...
Her husband should
really do mouth-to-mouth.
- Get off me, you bitch.
- Ellie.
-Fuck you.
Fuck you all, you motley
bunch of miserable cunts!
- That too far?
- Hmm?
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh.
Ben. Ben.
My answer's no.
I don't love you.
But someone will
because you're so great.
I just don't feel it.
I wish I did.
I'm sorry that I
didn't say this sooner.
I know, Ben, but I'm not
gonna change my mind,
and... and please move out.
Just whenever you're ready,
but also .
Um...
Thanks.
Bye.
Ah!
Oh.
Ooh.
-Wind your window down.
You've got asbestos.
-Are you okay?
-You were keeping secrets.
You went behind my back,
and I had to find out
about it from Dean.
-I was going to tell you.
-Yeah, well, you didn't.
-H-Here. Hey.
-I should have
expected it from you.
You never commit to anything.
-I amcommitting to
what I want to do.
I'm going to Bali.
-To be a DJ?
-Yeah, to be a DJ.
Ellie, Dean wants to be here.
You want to be here.
I want to go.
It makes sense.
Everyone's happy.
I'll miss you.
And I'll miss Beau.
But you'll both here
when I get back.
-Yeah, I just...
I wanted us to be able
to do it together.
-I know.
But you can do it on your own.
-Yeah, I know.
Koro taught me how.
I think he'd be
really proud of me.
-Yeah.
And I don't think he'd mind
that I used the company card
to pay for my flights.
I think he'd be
all good with that.
You're handling
this really well.
I'd like to give you a hug.
I'm comin' in now.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
This one goes there.
That stays up.
And that one, there.
Oh, yeah. That's the one.
Attagirl. Okay.
I love you.
Oh!
-Supporting local content
so you can see more
of New Zealand On Air.
happy than to make you my wife.
Will you marry me?
- Congratulations!
- Move!
Morning, there.
Look at us... out and
about, team bonding.
-I made breakfast
muffins for everyone.
- Oh, thanks, Shares.
- They're really moist.
I'm famous for my moist muff.
-Mmm, yummy.
-Alrighty. Um...
Who's ready for some first aid?
-Arguably, the
more lives we save,
the less business we get, so...
-We work in a
funeral home, so...
Okay, shall we? Yeah.
- Groovy.
I'm gonna wait, but thank you.
- Get down, get down, get down!
-There's a man out there with
a gun, and he's got my baby!
-Oh, please, Jesus! Ah!
-Emergencies.
They can happen
anywhere, anywhen.
-Wait, what the fuck?
-I'm Bronty, your
danger specialist,
and that was your first lesson.
- Um...
Is this is the first aid course?
-Yes.
-I've had an accident.
-I could tell.
Costume's a bit much.
- Sorry, costume?
- Yeah, your little...
A-ha.
-We're ready.
-Um...
This bitch is
crazy. I'm leaving.
-You can't leave.
I've already paid.
-Well, believe it or not,
I'd rather be back
at the office.
-No, you of all people
need to know first aid.
-What is that supposed to mean?
-Well, your
ex-boyfriend's in a coma.
- Who?
- Tyler.
-Oh, yeah, Tyler. I keep
forgetting about him.
I should visit.
- Yeah.
-But he won't know,
so it doesn't matter.
Anyway, one of us needs
to be back at the office,
and I nominate
myself. Goodbye.
-No, no, no. The
answering machine's on.
Trisha is there.
We've got it covered.
- I don't want to be here.
- Whisper, whisper, whisper,
whisper, whisper.
Sit down.
Let's get started, shall we?
Who wants brain damage?
Not me.
Do you?
-No.
-How long have you got?
- Pardon?
- How longhave you got?
-Sorry, I don't really
understand the question.
-Ten minutes without oxygen
results in permanent
brain damage.
That's why we learn CPR.
Start the clock.
It's meat week at the
supermarket, and...
- Murray.
- Murray is having a barbecue.
Where's your trolley?
Where's your trolley, Murray?
Murray's experiencing
chest pains.
Most people don't know
they're having a heart attack
when it's happening.
-Oh.
What's happening?
-Tick, tock, tick, tock.
-Should we do something?
-I don't know. Should you?
-Murray's collapsed.
- Oh, oh.
- Tick, tock.
-Get in there, Beau.
-When Beau approaches Murray,
he slips on a stray sausage,
falling to the ground, hitting
his head on the floor hard,
dying instantly.
-Oh, oh, damn.
-And now Murray's dead, too.
-Oh, nice try, Beau.
-No, not nice try.
No, because if Beau had
checked for hazards,
they'd both still be alive.
- Yep.
- Oh, what's that?
Now Murray's dog's dead, too,
locked in the car
with the windows up.
- Sorry, boy.
- Fuck.
- Don't swear.
- Sorry.
- I love you.
- I love you.
-Pah, pah, pah. 100
beats per minute.
Okay, you're rushing it
now. You're rushing it now.
Gently, there we go. Good.
- Don't.
That lady's such a bitch.
-Oh.
Oh.
Oh, grim.
Two months today?
- What's that?
- Since Hemi.
You doing okay?
- Oh, thanks, Shares.
Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah.
Just got to keep moving
forward. How are you?
-I'm gonna have to get
changed at lunchtime.
I'm soaked.
- When was that?
- At the beginning.
Just, it won't dry.
-Oh.
Do you want to have a go?
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah. Close.
- Yeah.
- Go... Go for the green.
- Oh.
- The green lights.
-Ahoy, Miss Lady,
is it like this?
- No, you need to
create a seal around the mouth.
-Oh, okay.
How about kind of
like, um... like this?
-No, well, now you're
constricting his airways.
- Am I?
- Yes.
-No, Gwen, I think it's more
like... like this, here.
-Oh, yeah, take your jacket off.
-Yeah, that makes sense.
-Howdoes that make sense?
-Makes sense to me.
Yeah.
-Oh, excuse me, Miss Bronty.
Am I... Am I doing
it fast enough?
-Wow. That was speedy!
What about if it passes
out, like, standing up?
Then, right?
Like this?
Thought you did a runner.
-No, no.
There was no vegetarian options,
so I got you some chips.
-Aw!
You also got you some chips.
-Yeah. Sandwiches
were all soggy, so...
-Thank you. Where's
Frankie today?
-No, nowhere. I gave
her the keys earlier,
and I haven't seen her since.
No. No, jokes. Um...
Her mum sent me this.
-Wait, is that...
-Hey, Artie. Artie!
Frankie's picking
up the cow dung.
Oh no, no, no, no!
- Oh, my God.
How can she literally eat
shit and still be cute?
- Yeah, I know.
You're a good dad.
-Thank you.
You're a... you're a good boss.
-No, I'm not.
I'm actually not.
-No, you got... cool hair.
- Cool hair?
- Yeah.
-Sweet. Thanks.
-Yummy. Club sammies.
So, Samson, um, what
brings you here?
-Oh, well, um, Lena
and I have made
the ultimate commitment
to each other.
- And to God.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- Did you get a dog?
- Oh, no.
Uh, we got married, 104
days ago, and it's strong.
We're so in love.
- We're so in love.
- Jinx.
- Jinx.
You owe me a juice.
- No, no, no.
You can't drink any more juice
'cause it'll ruin
your pearly whites.
So what? We want to spend the
rest of our lives together,
so we're doing this course
so we're prepared so that
if something ever
happened to us...
No, I'm sorry. I just can't
imagine my life without you.
-Aw, that's lovely.
-Oh, you have chives
in your teeth.
-Oh.
-Can I tell you something?
I bought my flight
to Bali to DJ.
-Oh, amazing.
- Yeah.
- Great.
- Mm.
- Good for you.
-I think I just needed a nudge,
so thank you for backing me.
What? Do you
think I shouldn't?
- No.
- Do you think it's stupid?
- No, no.
- You think it's silly?
- It's great. It's great.
- You can say if you think
it's stupid.
- But I was just gonna...
maybe ask you out.
Maybe.
-That's good.
-Oh.
-Uh-oh-oh-oh. Oh, is that a...
Is that a hair?
-Oh, it's probably
just one of mine.
- Ah.
- Mm.
-Well, having you here
makes me really miss Hemi.
-Oh.
I miss him, too.
-You two are so different.
-Oh, I think we
were quite similar.
-Mm, no, I don't
really see that.
-Well, we had a lot
in common, so...
-Mm. Seems like you're on a
very different path, though.
-I think I'm on the same path,
maybe just going
a different speed.
- Not really.
- I think so.
-Mm, he was the best.
He'd be thrilled I'm taking
on more responsibility.
-Yeah. Wh...
Wait, sorry, what do you mean?
-Oh, did Gwen not tell you?
Oh, you and I... We're
gonna be partners.
I hope I didn't
ruin the surprise.
- Partners?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm buying her out.
-Come on, people.
30 minutes means 30 minutes.
Oi, Pollyanna, on your back.
Where are the other two?
Oi!
-Oh.
All right.
- She's such a psycho.
-Oh, gosh, it fell.
-Eyes closed.
Okay, you... you're on
your way to the mall,
and, uh, Crockpots are 60% off,
and you love your
slow-cooked meat, okay?
But what's that in the distance?
A twisted wreckage of a car and
a motionless body beside it.
You're the first on the scene.
What do you do?
-Okay. Uh, "D"... danger.
Um, I don't know.
Everything looks okay.
-No, no. It's too risky.
You just get out of there.
-If you don't do
anything, she's gonna die.
What next?
- "R"... response.
Um, can you hear me?
- Louder!
- Can you hear me?!
- Ow, stop!
- No response!
- Now what?
- Uh, call an ambulance.
- Hello, ambulance?
Yes, you need to describe
the situation in full detail.
-Um, there's been an accident.
There's a woman, um, late 30s.
- I'm 29.
- Really?
Oh. She's wearing, um, mum jeans
and a weird skivvy
and... Is that helpful?
-She's got quite
oily skin, as well.
Not sure if that's
important. Just...
- Yeah.
- Uh, no muscle tone.
- And heaps of, uh, split ends.
- Yep, yep.
-Actually, dry skin, as well...
Combination, like a oily-dry...
Like, both.
- You're the sunken treasure.
- Knobby knees.
- Ah, yeah, no,
her breath smells real stale.
- You've torpedoed my heart.
- Your life seems awesome.
- Scrapes her hair back.
- Oh, yeah.
- Quite severe.
- Lonely.
-I can't imagine my
life without you.
-Just have an experience.
-She looks like she doesn't
contribute to society.
-I know you've got
nothing better to do,
but I'm going to Bali.
- She's a bit passive-aggressive.
- You can never teach again.
- Nothing would make me
more happy than to
make you my wife.
- You got fired, you dumb fuck.
- Could be suicide.
- Okay. What next?
- Airways. Um...
Her husband should
really do mouth-to-mouth.
- Get off me, you bitch.
- Ellie.
-Fuck you.
Fuck you all, you motley
bunch of miserable cunts!
- That too far?
- Hmm?
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh.
Ben. Ben.
My answer's no.
I don't love you.
But someone will
because you're so great.
I just don't feel it.
I wish I did.
I'm sorry that I
didn't say this sooner.
I know, Ben, but I'm not
gonna change my mind,
and... and please move out.
Just whenever you're ready,
but also .
Um...
Thanks.
Bye.
Ah!
Oh.
Ooh.
-Wind your window down.
You've got asbestos.
-Are you okay?
-You were keeping secrets.
You went behind my back,
and I had to find out
about it from Dean.
-I was going to tell you.
-Yeah, well, you didn't.
-H-Here. Hey.
-I should have
expected it from you.
You never commit to anything.
-I amcommitting to
what I want to do.
I'm going to Bali.
-To be a DJ?
-Yeah, to be a DJ.
Ellie, Dean wants to be here.
You want to be here.
I want to go.
It makes sense.
Everyone's happy.
I'll miss you.
And I'll miss Beau.
But you'll both here
when I get back.
-Yeah, I just...
I wanted us to be able
to do it together.
-I know.
But you can do it on your own.
-Yeah, I know.
Koro taught me how.
I think he'd be
really proud of me.
-Yeah.
And I don't think he'd mind
that I used the company card
to pay for my flights.
I think he'd be
all good with that.
You're handling
this really well.
I'd like to give you a hug.
I'm comin' in now.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
This one goes there.
That stays up.
And that one, there.
Oh, yeah. That's the one.
Attagirl. Okay.
I love you.
Oh!
-Supporting local content
so you can see more
of New Zealand On Air.