Good Grief (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - A Matter of Life and Death: Part Two - full transcript
Ellie and Gwen infiltrate a funeral at a competitor mortuary, which goes horribly wrong. Ellie tells Gwen she doesn't want to sell the business.
-Let's crash a funeral.
-Will you just please, please,
please, please, please, stop?
Just, what if we get caught?
-We don't know these people.
And I have to say goodbye!
-Get up, get up.
-Oh!
Oh, my God.
-Stop it.
Marie!
Marie. Aw.
Oh, look at her here.
Come on.
- Hi.
- Hi.
-Hi, I'm Anna.
I'm, uh, Marie's niece.
-Oh, I'm Kushla. I, um...
I bought Marie's
blender on Trade Me,
and when I went to pick
it up, we just hit it off.
We did a weekly coffee thing.
Marie and her bowler
tees, remember?
Anyway, she probably
never mentioned me.
-No, no. I think she did.
- Yeah?
- Mm.
-This is my sister, Audrey.
She's deaf.
-Oh. Thank you so
much for coming.
-Okay, thank you.
See you at the evening.
- Oh.
-That was amazing. Such
a beautiful service.
- It was sad.
- I know!
And all the music came in
at just the right moments.
-And it was way less fun
that what I thought
it was gonna be.
Let's go.
- No, I've got questions.
-Audrey's deaf, and you
can't sign for shit.
-Well, then, you'll
have to ask them.
I've taken notes.
-Christ.
-Looks yummy.
-Ha-ha! These
are so Marie, eh?
Color printing... That
normal around here?
Is... they're always color?
That's a good one.
Hey, Gav, do you know, um...
Do you know how many
funerals these guys do a day?
Is it many?
Do a night show?
I guess part of the appeal is
getting time off work, right?
Do you guys know how
much Theresa and Martin
paid for the coffin?
Pretty pricey.
You ever seen a dead body?
-Ah! Wow. They
even have macarons.
-There's that hot pallbearer.
I bet you I can get his number.
-Ellie. Oh, my goodness.
- Hello!
Hey, Michelle.
I haven't
seen you since...
You little cunt.
-Aah!
Oh! Ah.
-I didn't know you knew Marie.
-She's my fiancé's
auntie's sister.
-Oh, you got engaged?
-Yes, to Hamish.
It's a blessing and a curse.
Magpies.
You know, all the school staff
are really worried about you,
and the kids... They're
still talking about
Miss Gert getting
fired, but I told them,
you just never know what's
going on with someone,
you know, up here, so...
-Oh, no, no. I'm so great.
I'm actually running my
own business now, so...
- Good for you!
- Yeah.
-Kia kaha.
Still, you must be devastated
that you can never teach again.
-Oh, no. I've still
got my license,
and I'm gonna appeal it.
-Oh.
Why would you put
yourself through that?
Well, I guess it
must be impossible
to get a job anywhere else.
Word's really got around.
Maybe it is the
best option for you.
It's just so
embarrassing.
-Michelle.
I'm so glad you could make it.
-Sorry for your loss.
- Ah, so you met Audrey.
- Ellie.
We taught together, didn't we?
Are you okay?
I didn't know you
knew sign, Ellie.
- She doesn't.
- What's going on?
-Audrey, there you are.
-Faking being deaf? Nice.
-Ah! What?
No way.
Oh, that is terrible.
All these years.
No idea. Let's get
you home, Audrey,
if that's even your real name.
-Unbelievable.
-You're late again.
-Can I be part-time
like Beau and Sharyn?
But, like, work from home?
-No.
-I really hate this uniform, eh?
You look like a bank teller,
and your hair looks
like a pretzel,
and my tights are loose.
But I don't understand
because they're tights,
and what is this thing?
What's this?
Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- Really?
'Cause you just... You
look a little miffy.
-There's a lot riding on this.
I just want it to go well,
so I got here at
5:00 this morning.
-Again?
So everything's sorted, then.
-Yeah, the flowers look good.
Sharyn wanted to
do chicken nibbles.
I said okay.
Dean's rehearsing
his choreography,
and Beau is waxing the hearse,
and the uniforms look fine.
-Really?
Do you want the Cookie Time
cookie or the cassava chips?
-Um...
Who the frick is that?
-Hey, there you are.
I thought I told you to
stay in the hearse, man.
-Aw, you're a
dad. That's cool.
-Oh, yeah. I just have Frankie
on Tuesdays and Thursdays, eh?
-Those are work days.
-I'm just checking...
Is Mr. Lovett ready?
- Uh, give me two minutes.
- Okay.
Two minutes. All right.
Come on, then. Oh!
-Might be five.
I've never done this.
Just put the
clothes on the body.
It's like playing Barbie.
Think of him as Ken,
except old and dead.
- So, then, top half.
- It's fine.
-It's pretty stiff.
- Down, gentle, yes, respectful.
- Oh!
- Oh. Aw!
- Christ!
-It's not so smooth
like that. That's fine.
-Yep, yep, yep, and, and...
So you have to help me, Gwen.
- I'm doing it!
-Arm down... gentle, gentle.
-I don't... I don't really
want to do that part.
The pants is you, baby.
-Okay, his family are
here, so can you just help?
-Yep, and this is...
This is your zone.
I don't want to see that.
I do notwant to see that.
I don't want to
give him a wedgie.
-Shuffle. Pull them up.
-I'm doing it!
Jesus mother...
This is a skill I
don't utilize enough,
maybe because I'm
not Avril Lavigne.
-Can you please
pass me the shoes?
Please.
- Um, Ellie?
- Hmm?
-Dean wants to have a word.
-Ah. Ah.
Okay. Okay.
-I have no idea what I'm doing.
- He looks pretty good.
- Yeah.
I swallowed it.
-Right.
-Ah, here she is. Take a seat.
-Oh, I'm fine.
-Oh, you should
really take a seat.
-Honestly, I'm...
I'm happy standing.
-Oh, but you look so exhausted.
- I'm not. I'm...
- Geez, and you're breaking out.
Wow! Look at that.
- What did you want, exactly?
-Wow. Well, me and
Shares have been talking,
and it makes sense
that you want to sell.
I mean, it's an
impulsive decision,
but it's such a hard job,
and you're so inexperienced.
So we were thinking, there's
no need to rush into anything.
I mean, you could just hold
onto the business and step back
and just let me manage things.
Isn't that right, Shares?
-Hmm. Ah. That's sweet chili.
-Oh, uh, thanks for
looking out for me, Dean.
That is food for thought.
-Did you want me to
steam this jacket?
It's pretty late now, though.
-These look good, Shares.
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
-It says 180, but
I always do it 200.
- Mm-hmm.
- Unless the kids are playing up.
Then I undercook them...
Bit of a reality check.
-Mm. Yeah. Mm-kay. You're
all under control, then?
-Oh, yeah, love. I'll
keep the sweet treats
in the fridge till
after the service.
I did mini donuts.
It's a hole-in-one reference.
- Oh.
Ssssschnitzel, uh,
I forgot the clubs.
Uh, uh, yep, yep, yep, yep.
I am so sorry.
I completely forgot.
The family want him
buried with his clubs.
I'll just go stall
them. Thank you. Sorry.
-Uh...
Okay.
-Do you think they want all
of them or just his favorite?
-Oh, yeah, his favorites...
The "P" and the black
sock and the chipper.
How do I know his favorites?
We'll just put them
all in. Oh, God.
-Um...
Put one in his hand.
-Okay.
Ooh, oh.
Okay.
I feel like they're
not all gonna... fit.
Yeah, pack them in.
Do some that way, maybe.
-Miss you.
-This was supposed to be
open casket... the funeral.
-I need to, uh... Uh,
you're looking for Gwen.
Yeah, she will know.
Excuse me.
- Okay.
-Where's Ellie?
It was supposed
to be open-casket.
- Really?
- Yeah.
-Um, uh, okay.
Okay.
-And where are his golf clubs?
He was meant to be with them.
-Yeah, they're in there...
all of them.
Louise, is there a problem?
-I wanted them on the
stage and then in the hole,
not up his fucking ass.
-You're the one with
something up your fucking ass.
-I'm so sorry.
There seems to have
been a miscommunication,
but we will take care
of it, won't we, Gwen?
- Yes.
- Good.
-Oh, uh, sorry.
-Leave that one.
Dad would have liked it.
-Ah! Sorry.
No, they went that way.
- All right.
-Yep.
They have, like,
little holes in there.
They go under the... the...
Oh, you do it.
Cool. No, you do that.
I'll get the...
-Come eat some food.
-Nice to see you.
Thank you.
-Sorry again about the mix-up,
but I thought you might
want to take these.
They didn't quite
make it into the bag.
-Thank you.
-Of course.
-It was perfect.
-Oh, good.
-Better get these in the car.
- Yeah.
Um, are you drinking?
-Phil loved pale ale.
-Yeah, you didn't
really know Phil.
-Not alive, which
is pretty messed up.
I don't want to be around
dead people all day.
It's just depressing.
Phil's sad, saggy face
was in my nightmare,
but he was a snake.
How are you doing this?
Doesn't it make
you feel like shit?
-Um, it's not really
about how I feel.
I, of course...
You know, I care,
but you kind of have to
put your feelings aside.
- For the money.
- For the family.
-Mm. Oh, well. I
guess we're just gonna
have to stick it out
for a few more weeks.
-Yeah, might be longer.
-Well, how much longer?
-You know, it might be
months, and that's fine.
-No, that's not fine.
-I mean, I'm just saying, you
don't need to be in a rush.
-No, that's exactly
what I'm saying.
I know you've got nothing better
to do, but I'm going to Bali.
-I'm not sure I want to sell.
-What?!
Ellie, what... What
are you saying?
Just because you got fired
doesn't mean you get
to mess with my plans.
-Maybe Koro left it
to us for a reason.
-That's bullshit.
Koro was a numpty
who didn't get
good legal advice.
I'm very grateful for the gift,
but I would rather
take the money.
-Gwen.
Gwen, I don't... I don't know
if I could ever teach again.
This is all I've got,
and don't you want
some stability?
Full-time work could
be really good for you.
-Fuck off. I love my life.
-Please.
I need this,
and it could be
really good for us.
We're helping people.
I actually need to
talk to you about...
-I don't care, Ellie.
We'll just do whatever you
want to do, like always.
I was gonna text
that pallbearer,
but it already feels
like I'm getting fucked.
-Supporting local content
so you can see more
of New Zealand On Air.
-Will you just please, please,
please, please, please, stop?
Just, what if we get caught?
-We don't know these people.
And I have to say goodbye!
-Get up, get up.
-Oh!
Oh, my God.
-Stop it.
Marie!
Marie. Aw.
Oh, look at her here.
Come on.
- Hi.
- Hi.
-Hi, I'm Anna.
I'm, uh, Marie's niece.
-Oh, I'm Kushla. I, um...
I bought Marie's
blender on Trade Me,
and when I went to pick
it up, we just hit it off.
We did a weekly coffee thing.
Marie and her bowler
tees, remember?
Anyway, she probably
never mentioned me.
-No, no. I think she did.
- Yeah?
- Mm.
-This is my sister, Audrey.
She's deaf.
-Oh. Thank you so
much for coming.
-Okay, thank you.
See you at the evening.
- Oh.
-That was amazing. Such
a beautiful service.
- It was sad.
- I know!
And all the music came in
at just the right moments.
-And it was way less fun
that what I thought
it was gonna be.
Let's go.
- No, I've got questions.
-Audrey's deaf, and you
can't sign for shit.
-Well, then, you'll
have to ask them.
I've taken notes.
-Christ.
-Looks yummy.
-Ha-ha! These
are so Marie, eh?
Color printing... That
normal around here?
Is... they're always color?
That's a good one.
Hey, Gav, do you know, um...
Do you know how many
funerals these guys do a day?
Is it many?
Do a night show?
I guess part of the appeal is
getting time off work, right?
Do you guys know how
much Theresa and Martin
paid for the coffin?
Pretty pricey.
You ever seen a dead body?
-Ah! Wow. They
even have macarons.
-There's that hot pallbearer.
I bet you I can get his number.
-Ellie. Oh, my goodness.
- Hello!
Hey, Michelle.
I haven't
seen you since...
You little cunt.
-Aah!
Oh! Ah.
-I didn't know you knew Marie.
-She's my fiancé's
auntie's sister.
-Oh, you got engaged?
-Yes, to Hamish.
It's a blessing and a curse.
Magpies.
You know, all the school staff
are really worried about you,
and the kids... They're
still talking about
Miss Gert getting
fired, but I told them,
you just never know what's
going on with someone,
you know, up here, so...
-Oh, no, no. I'm so great.
I'm actually running my
own business now, so...
- Good for you!
- Yeah.
-Kia kaha.
Still, you must be devastated
that you can never teach again.
-Oh, no. I've still
got my license,
and I'm gonna appeal it.
-Oh.
Why would you put
yourself through that?
Well, I guess it
must be impossible
to get a job anywhere else.
Word's really got around.
Maybe it is the
best option for you.
It's just so
embarrassing.
-Michelle.
I'm so glad you could make it.
-Sorry for your loss.
- Ah, so you met Audrey.
- Ellie.
We taught together, didn't we?
Are you okay?
I didn't know you
knew sign, Ellie.
- She doesn't.
- What's going on?
-Audrey, there you are.
-Faking being deaf? Nice.
-Ah! What?
No way.
Oh, that is terrible.
All these years.
No idea. Let's get
you home, Audrey,
if that's even your real name.
-Unbelievable.
-You're late again.
-Can I be part-time
like Beau and Sharyn?
But, like, work from home?
-No.
-I really hate this uniform, eh?
You look like a bank teller,
and your hair looks
like a pretzel,
and my tights are loose.
But I don't understand
because they're tights,
and what is this thing?
What's this?
Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- Really?
'Cause you just... You
look a little miffy.
-There's a lot riding on this.
I just want it to go well,
so I got here at
5:00 this morning.
-Again?
So everything's sorted, then.
-Yeah, the flowers look good.
Sharyn wanted to
do chicken nibbles.
I said okay.
Dean's rehearsing
his choreography,
and Beau is waxing the hearse,
and the uniforms look fine.
-Really?
Do you want the Cookie Time
cookie or the cassava chips?
-Um...
Who the frick is that?
-Hey, there you are.
I thought I told you to
stay in the hearse, man.
-Aw, you're a
dad. That's cool.
-Oh, yeah. I just have Frankie
on Tuesdays and Thursdays, eh?
-Those are work days.
-I'm just checking...
Is Mr. Lovett ready?
- Uh, give me two minutes.
- Okay.
Two minutes. All right.
Come on, then. Oh!
-Might be five.
I've never done this.
Just put the
clothes on the body.
It's like playing Barbie.
Think of him as Ken,
except old and dead.
- So, then, top half.
- It's fine.
-It's pretty stiff.
- Down, gentle, yes, respectful.
- Oh!
- Oh. Aw!
- Christ!
-It's not so smooth
like that. That's fine.
-Yep, yep, yep, and, and...
So you have to help me, Gwen.
- I'm doing it!
-Arm down... gentle, gentle.
-I don't... I don't really
want to do that part.
The pants is you, baby.
-Okay, his family are
here, so can you just help?
-Yep, and this is...
This is your zone.
I don't want to see that.
I do notwant to see that.
I don't want to
give him a wedgie.
-Shuffle. Pull them up.
-I'm doing it!
Jesus mother...
This is a skill I
don't utilize enough,
maybe because I'm
not Avril Lavigne.
-Can you please
pass me the shoes?
Please.
- Um, Ellie?
- Hmm?
-Dean wants to have a word.
-Ah. Ah.
Okay. Okay.
-I have no idea what I'm doing.
- He looks pretty good.
- Yeah.
I swallowed it.
-Right.
-Ah, here she is. Take a seat.
-Oh, I'm fine.
-Oh, you should
really take a seat.
-Honestly, I'm...
I'm happy standing.
-Oh, but you look so exhausted.
- I'm not. I'm...
- Geez, and you're breaking out.
Wow! Look at that.
- What did you want, exactly?
-Wow. Well, me and
Shares have been talking,
and it makes sense
that you want to sell.
I mean, it's an
impulsive decision,
but it's such a hard job,
and you're so inexperienced.
So we were thinking, there's
no need to rush into anything.
I mean, you could just hold
onto the business and step back
and just let me manage things.
Isn't that right, Shares?
-Hmm. Ah. That's sweet chili.
-Oh, uh, thanks for
looking out for me, Dean.
That is food for thought.
-Did you want me to
steam this jacket?
It's pretty late now, though.
-These look good, Shares.
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
-It says 180, but
I always do it 200.
- Mm-hmm.
- Unless the kids are playing up.
Then I undercook them...
Bit of a reality check.
-Mm. Yeah. Mm-kay. You're
all under control, then?
-Oh, yeah, love. I'll
keep the sweet treats
in the fridge till
after the service.
I did mini donuts.
It's a hole-in-one reference.
- Oh.
Ssssschnitzel, uh,
I forgot the clubs.
Uh, uh, yep, yep, yep, yep.
I am so sorry.
I completely forgot.
The family want him
buried with his clubs.
I'll just go stall
them. Thank you. Sorry.
-Uh...
Okay.
-Do you think they want all
of them or just his favorite?
-Oh, yeah, his favorites...
The "P" and the black
sock and the chipper.
How do I know his favorites?
We'll just put them
all in. Oh, God.
-Um...
Put one in his hand.
-Okay.
Ooh, oh.
Okay.
I feel like they're
not all gonna... fit.
Yeah, pack them in.
Do some that way, maybe.
-Miss you.
-This was supposed to be
open casket... the funeral.
-I need to, uh... Uh,
you're looking for Gwen.
Yeah, she will know.
Excuse me.
- Okay.
-Where's Ellie?
It was supposed
to be open-casket.
- Really?
- Yeah.
-Um, uh, okay.
Okay.
-And where are his golf clubs?
He was meant to be with them.
-Yeah, they're in there...
all of them.
Louise, is there a problem?
-I wanted them on the
stage and then in the hole,
not up his fucking ass.
-You're the one with
something up your fucking ass.
-I'm so sorry.
There seems to have
been a miscommunication,
but we will take care
of it, won't we, Gwen?
- Yes.
- Good.
-Oh, uh, sorry.
-Leave that one.
Dad would have liked it.
-Ah! Sorry.
No, they went that way.
- All right.
-Yep.
They have, like,
little holes in there.
They go under the... the...
Oh, you do it.
Cool. No, you do that.
I'll get the...
-Come eat some food.
-Nice to see you.
Thank you.
-Sorry again about the mix-up,
but I thought you might
want to take these.
They didn't quite
make it into the bag.
-Thank you.
-Of course.
-It was perfect.
-Oh, good.
-Better get these in the car.
- Yeah.
Um, are you drinking?
-Phil loved pale ale.
-Yeah, you didn't
really know Phil.
-Not alive, which
is pretty messed up.
I don't want to be around
dead people all day.
It's just depressing.
Phil's sad, saggy face
was in my nightmare,
but he was a snake.
How are you doing this?
Doesn't it make
you feel like shit?
-Um, it's not really
about how I feel.
I, of course...
You know, I care,
but you kind of have to
put your feelings aside.
- For the money.
- For the family.
-Mm. Oh, well. I
guess we're just gonna
have to stick it out
for a few more weeks.
-Yeah, might be longer.
-Well, how much longer?
-You know, it might be
months, and that's fine.
-No, that's not fine.
-I mean, I'm just saying, you
don't need to be in a rush.
-No, that's exactly
what I'm saying.
I know you've got nothing better
to do, but I'm going to Bali.
-I'm not sure I want to sell.
-What?!
Ellie, what... What
are you saying?
Just because you got fired
doesn't mean you get
to mess with my plans.
-Maybe Koro left it
to us for a reason.
-That's bullshit.
Koro was a numpty
who didn't get
good legal advice.
I'm very grateful for the gift,
but I would rather
take the money.
-Gwen.
Gwen, I don't... I don't know
if I could ever teach again.
This is all I've got,
and don't you want
some stability?
Full-time work could
be really good for you.
-Fuck off. I love my life.
-Please.
I need this,
and it could be
really good for us.
We're helping people.
I actually need to
talk to you about...
-I don't care, Ellie.
We'll just do whatever you
want to do, like always.
I was gonna text
that pallbearer,
but it already feels
like I'm getting fucked.
-Supporting local content
so you can see more
of New Zealand On Air.