Good Girls (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 14 - Thank You for Your Support - full transcript
Beth runs for City Council as tensions rise between Nick and Rio. Nancy, down on her luck, offers Annie some unlikely relationship advice. Ruby becomes suspicious of Stan's new venture.
Previously, on "Good Girls"...
Get me my funny money back.
How am I supposed to do that?
- Ask nicely.
- The cops?
Not them.
Nancy tried to grow
the business too fast.
- What's the damage?
- We're totaled.
You're homeless?
He's experiencing homelessness.
What happened with Angela?
She's not really
roommate material.
Why did you leave?
No one's ever really
needed me before.
I found this in my
underwear a while ago.
I got this from my wife's cell.
We're back in the club.
- Who's name is it in?
- All of us.
You can't give that
stuff to the DA.
Putting me in a tough spot.
If you can just drag
your feet a little bit...
It'd be a different story
if you were one of us.
- Can we help you?
- We're here about the dancing.
We're fully zoned and licensed.
There's enough there to
keep you from opening.
You want this
problem to go away?
- Yes, please.
- Then run for city council.
Miss us?
- So, what now?
- We get him.
You think a strip
club owner has a shot?
What changed your mind?
You.
Because crime isn't just
something that's downtown.
It's in our community.
And if we don't do something
about it right now,
the robberies, the drug
dealing, the gangs,
they're gonna show
up in our back yard,
or our front steps,
or even our kitchens.
And personally, I want
to live in a world
where I don't have to
lock my front door,
or watch my back every time
I go to the grocery store,
or worry that someone's
parked on my street,
waiting for me to leave,
so they can just come in
and take whatever they want.
I want to go back
to that Ashfield.
And I know you do too.
And that's why I'm
running for city council,
to proudly represent Ward 5.
How was it?
It was long.
Did you understand it?
Parts were funny.
You're really doing this, huh?
Was it that bad?
Uh, the principal
wants to see us again.
Didn't do it.
Okay, one more
time, from the top.
Street crime. You
got your petty theft,
drugs, carjacking,
what have you.
Now, this is where
you ladies come in.
Some of that money
gets washed right here.
The rest turns into counterfeit.
Then it goes across the
border and comes back clean.
But now they got to launder it,
or else the IRS starts
asking all these questions.
So, you have all your
little mom and pops,
electrical companies, plumbing,
materials, construction.
- Oh, I'm the banker.
- Oh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Those same companies
pay for protection,
kickbacks to your boy.
- He is not our boy.
- Like, why does everyone...
- And in return, they get...
- Body glitter.
Contracts from a shell company,
owned by, guess who?
Gang friend's fairy godfather?
Is that what we're
gonna call him?
Works for me.
Now, this is where it
gets a little complicated.
Oh, jeez.
The shell companies are
hired by the city to build
whatever projects gang fairy
godfather can get approved.
Which is why he needs
you in that seat.
But we don't know what
his next project is.
Which is why we need
you in that seat.
To bring them all down.
Any questions?
Yeah.
How much of this do
we have to understand
to get our deal back?
None of it.
Good, 'cause you lost
me with that cutlet.
There's no deal.
He's here on vacation.
- So are you.
- Not really.
Well, I'm calling it a vacation.
Mm, I'm calling it suspended
for misplacing a suitcase
full of fake cash while
having drinks with a "friend."
So, just to be clear,
there's nothing in it for us.
How about not going
away for all of this?
Now, would that be
to a Canadian prison?
- Does that matter?
- I think I could handle it.
Can we keep our
cut from all this?
- Yeah.
- We all go home winners.
- What if I can't win?
- You're a natural.
Yeah, be she doesn't
know jack about politics.
She's great at pretending
to be something she's not.
Okay, look, there's
nothing to win.
You're just filling
an open seat.
- That was mine.
Just get the signatures.
- 97.98.99.100.
- Ahh!
- Whoo-hoo!
And I nominate my
buddy Bob Allen.
100 pushups, 100 seconds.
Why are you doing this?
He called me out on Insta.
Well, everyone at
the office did it.
- So what?
- So, if I flake,
I'd look like I don't
want to save teacup pigs.
- Do you believe this?
- I did it last week.
All right, show of hands,
who here even knows
what a teacup pig looks like?
A teacup pig?
- Thank you.
- Hey, what's up, boys?
Can I talk to you
guys for a sec?
Yeah.
- Don't worry.
- We won't nominate you.
No. Now you have to,
'cause I don't want
to be the only one.
Um, so, where are we at?
- With what?
- You know, my whole situation.
- Working on it.
- Yeah.
Okay, 'cause you... you
guys say that every time.
You can't just stick
it in Lady Justice.
Yeah, she's got to want it.
My wife is running
for city council.
What?
- Why?
- I don't know. Civic pride?
Well, that's just
what the city needs,
another woman on top.
I don't want her
to be humiliated.
Well, that's not on us.
In front of, you know,
like, the whole world.
- You backing out now?
- Hell no.
I don't know. Look, maybe...
You know, maybe-maybe
we just to a beat.
Hey, Darryl.
- This is Dean.
- Hey.
Who's that?
Oh, you don't know your
friendly county DA?
He's one of us?
How do you think I
win all my cases?
Like we said, we're on it.
But we can do whatever you want.
Yeah, your call.
You good?
I just want it to be as quick
and painless as possible.
You got it, Dean.
But, uh, don't bring it
up here, though, okay?
- Sure.
- If this gets out,
be more than just our
bar cards on the line.
Mmm.
- Oh, hey, can you chop the...
- Already done.
Julienned. Nice.
Only took two
Band-Aids this time.
Aw, yeah.
- Eh?
- That looks great.
- Pretty good, right?
- Just in time, BM.
- Hi.
- Can that not be my nickname?
- It's your initials.
- Oh, speaking of... here.
Also something you flush.
Auntie Beth needs
you to sign this.
Uh, I'm not even
old enough to vote.
Okay, well get dad to do it.
- He's in Petoskey.
- Some corporate retreat.
- What about Nance?
- She's in bed.
- She sick or something?
- Depressed.
Why, 'cause she lost
her honorary parking
spot at Tiffany's?
More like her entire
purpose in life.
I'm gonna go change.
Ow.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
- Is it your eyebrow zit?
You can see it?
Dude, it's like a third eye.
I've tried everything.
- Those are the worse.
- It won't go away.
Yeah, those kill.
It's, like, holding
my face hostage.
- Let me at it.
- Absolutely not.
- It'll feel so much better.
- No, that's disgusting.
Okay, here. Just trust me.
- What are you doing?
- Come here.
We just need to open up
the pores a little bit.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
Hmm. Just like a spa.
Mm-hmm.
- Okay, can we stop?
- My eyeballs are hard-boiled.
This is ridiculous.
All right, how's it feel?
- Still bad.
- Okay.
- Don't do it.
- I'm going in.
You don't have to do this. No.
- I'm going in. Shh.
- No, no, no.
What if it squirts
into your eyeball?
Well, that will
certainly make our night
more interesting.
- Kevin.
- Annie.
Gentle. Gentle. Gentle.
- Oh!
Ow!
Eww.
How's it feel now?
It feels better, okay?
- Hungry?
- Not especially.
- Another beer?
- That, I would do.
All right.
Just sign at the bottom there.
- How many do you have?
- I'm getting there.
Do you want to hear where I
stand on the issues again?
Just really puts us
out there, you know?
You just have to hold
my purse a few times.
So
wouldn't have to dig too deep.
Your police records are sealed.
Well, that's not really
what I'm worried about.
Then what is it?
I just...
I don't want the whole thing
to blow up in your face.
Then wear long pants.
Who's "Bongo Man"?
Kevin's friend from the park.
That can't be his given name.
It's what he goes by.
Did you get his ID?
I saw the bongo.
Oh, excuse me, where'd you
guys get your signatures from?
- Church.
- School.
- Work.
- Kroger.
- We both hit the Kroger.
- Two different days.
Well, now we have all
the demos covered, okay?
So much for this being low key.
Maybe gang fairy
godfather tipped them off.
But I-I didn't, like,
put on makeup, and...
- It's fine. It's fine.
- You look hot.
I'm supposed to look like a mom.
- Hot mom.
- Denise!
We can't just give
this seat away,
especially to a woman who
doesn't share our values,
which is why I am also
running for city council,
to ensure that our
wonderful community
is represented by someone
who understand what
our children need.
How do you feel about
the proposed dress code
for public school?
Looks like you just
got out-mom'd, brah.
.
Do you know what it means
to be Ashfield proud?
Denise Carpenter does.
Enriching the lives
of those in need.
Helping to shape
the developing mind.
And comforting those
entering the autumn of life.
She believes the pulse of
our city comes from service,
faith, and family.
Because her heart's always
been in the same place...
With the people of Ashfield.
I'm Ashfield proud.
Paid for by Family
First Alliance.
Yeah, that sucks.
And why does everyone look so
much more important in slow-mo?
I know, even the flag
waving kind of got me
a little choked up, you know?
You said I was a shoo-in.
That was before
Jesus got involved.
Well, can you, like, grease
some palms or whatever?
To get you elected?
Isn't that what you guys do?
It's not really
how democracy works.
Okay, so all your
projects and whatever...
- What about them?
- They're all
aboveboard?
You know, this isn't
zoning and garden for kids
or building a parking structure.
So, how can I help
you with those things
if you can't help
me get elected?
Money.
And where is that pot of gold?
- Nowhere good.
- I'm used to it.
Donors, Elizabeth.
And how do we get to their gold?
Take them to your church.
How's your civic pride tonight?
- Solid.
- I'm gonna need to see it.
All donations, tax-deductible!
Keep the bottom
for your receipt.
- 20 bucks.
- What's it get me?
Safer streets.
And that's why I would expand
our neighborhood
watch crime groups.
Because the best eyes on the
street are your neighbors.
You can't always
trust the police,
so you gotta make sure
that your tax dollars
are going to the programs
that are gonna really help
protect your community.
So, can I count on your support?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Come on, you can
do better than that
to support our girl.
Hello?
Anybody home?
I, uh, I used the key.
Let's see. Rise and shine.
- Hmm.
Oh, my God.
Leave me alone!
Do you know where your baby is?
With someone who showers.
Do you know what day it is?
Does it matter?
Yes. Because it is spa day.
Huh. Look at this.
Eyes.
Face.
Hair.
And even body.
Here. Let's... come here.
Give me a foot. Where's
that little foot?
- No.
- Where is that little foot?
Stop! What is wrong with you?
- What is wrong with you?
- I lost everything!
Ugh. Well, so get it back!
It's not like
it's not like Tupperware
that someone borrowed.
Look, you know, businesses fail.
It-it happens.
- You don't get it.
Why don't you try me?
I was super into this
senior in high school,
and he was super into
this "Mortal Kombat" game
at our 7-Eleven.
Every day before school,
I went and I practiced,
to impress him.
- Well, did it work?
- We went to prom.
- Hey y'all.
- Also, I had, like,
the highest score for,
like, seven years,
before some dick
unplugged the machine.
You know it was him.
I never fail.
- What about your marriage?
- Excuse me?
I mean, he did bone me.
- Okay.
- More than once.
- Are you-are you serious?
- While you were pregnant.
- It was a rough patch.
- I don't know.
Sounds like a pretty
big fail, if you ask me.
Got him back, didn't I?
Exactly.
God.
You didn't have
any better example
for your teachable moment?
Look, you just... you just
hit another rough patch.
It's so embarrassing.
Hey.
It's gonna be okay.
I'm gonna leave you
to your pity party.
Just remember, massager,
not just for your foot.
I can't pay you back
for any of this.
It's cool. I used CVS points.
Cute.
20 bucks.
Yeah, no, I'm good.
How about a bumper sticker?
I'll just take my dry cleaning.
It's all boxed up.
Hey, let me ask you something.
- What's in it for you?
- What do you mean?
I mean, why do you
want to run this town?
Nick said I would good at it.
Oh. Nick, huh?
- Yeah, your genetic relation.
- Whatever you call him.
Pretty smart guy.
Yeah, he seems to
know how it all works.
So, you just do
whatever Nick says, huh?
Don't you?
That's what you think?
I just know he's in city hall
and you're in a strip club.
Mm-hmm.
That's some bag you got.
Yeah, he's a pretty smart guy.
Oh, no doubt.
Box that up for me too.
- This isn't yours.
- It's my strip club.
- This is campaign money.
- No.
You didn't get this far
by taking handouts, right?
- I need this to run.
- Oh, yeah?
Let's see.
You can't.
Take it up with city hall.
.
- That make you feel good?
- Yo, get him a Scotch.
- Really showed me, huh?
- Top shelf.
- Any shelf is fine.
- Oh.
Look who's trying
to keep it real now.
Make it off the top.
I don't think you get what
we're trying to do here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ain't no we.
What you're trying to do.
There'd be no shelf if
it wasn't for what I do.
- Fine, drink the cheap stuff.
- No shelves at all.
And you'd be on a city
salary if it wasn't for me.
Don't forget that.
You think you'd
have any of this?
You think you'd have her?
- Just know one thing.
- What?
- It isn't about her.
- What's it about?
It won't be me doing the time.
'Cause you'd make
sure it was me.
Nah, I got this.
- No, no, no.
- You better keep what you can.
Can't we just get those
donor guys back to the club?
- And tell them what?
- "Oopsie, we lost it all"?
Okay. What about a car wash?
Do you have any
idea how much, like,
a minute of airtime costs?
Paid for that sick-ass trip
in high school we
took to Toronto.
Thought you hated Canada.
- Except Toronto.
- Seriously?
It's the best science
center in the world.
Hmm. You'd have to wash
every car in the city.
Can we just skip the
part where we pretend
like there's any
legitimate way to do this?
- Fine.
- But we gotta change it up.
- New masks?
- Like Halloween?
Or like those motorcycle helmets
with the mirrored visors.
You can't hear a thing in those.
Sorry, where are you
buying a Halloween mask
- this time of year?
- Uh, Amazon.
We can't rob.
- We've never carjacked.
- Still need a mask for that.
You guys. My entire
platform is anti-crime.
- So?
- So, we can't do crime.
No, we just can't do
crime and then get caught.
Hmm. It's the end of an era.
Hey, Principal Clark's waiting.
- You got to hustle.
- Aren't you coming?
Unless he wants to meet
on the corner of Delaney
and 3rd, it is all you.
You're right. Sorry.
What did he do this time?
Your son's very popular
with all the students.
That's good.
- They think he's hilarious.
- He is.
And also very creative.
Okay, what am I doing here?
I'm in the lounge the other day,
when I hear... honking.
Okay?
All day. It-it doesn't end.
- Right.
- So, eventually, I got up,
went outside to see
what was going on,
and Kenny had written on
the side of the building.
And what did it say?
"Honk if you hate
Principal Clark."
Oh.
Apparently, everyone
in town hates me,
because it went to the point
that teachers could
barely conduct lessons.
And how do you know
that it was Kenny?
I had hair before
I met your son.
Also, these were in his locker.
How's it going at
home, Mrs. Boland?
I mean, you know, just
like every other family.
- How's his binge eating?
- Much better.
- Well,
I'm afraid to say he's still
having a hard time here.
I mean, the kid constantly
needs attention,
and he certainly
knows how to get it.
We encourage our students
to get their message across,
just not at the
school's expense.
Won't happen again.
My opponent can blanket the
airwaves with her message.
But I'd rather be out
here doing something.
And what's your
message, Mrs. Boland?
It's time to clean
up our streets.
My removing their calling cards,
we're saying to these gangs,
you are not welcome in Ashfield.
And whether I'm elected or not,
I will continue to fight
for the safety of
this community.
And how do you plan to do that?
Well, as a mother, I know
that some of the best
ways to clean up a mess
are to get to it
before it starts.
What are you doing? Uh-uh.
No. You gotta go big.
When you walk by a business
that's vandalized like this,
and you just assume
that it's normal,
you know what happens?
It becomes normal.
How'd I do? And a
building like this
- with these tags says...
- Can I have my iPad?
You're still grounded.
Wait, who's that guy?
Who?
- That-that guy. The guy.
- The guy with the coffees.
Uh, he's just some
guy who works there.
Are you sure?
I mean, he made me a latte.
Why, do you know him?
- I thought I did, yeah.
Hey, Mom, your friend's here.
Hi, Denise.
Does your family have a
special tie to the islands?
There's so much Caribbean flair.
Uh, Kenny, get the
girls ready for dance.
- Is that a hot tub?
- Yeah.
We like to treat every
day like it's a vacation.
Well, how do you
have time to relax
with all the campaigning
that you're doing?
How can I help you, Denise?
I came to congratulate you.
- I haven't won yet.
- Chief Gorski has been raving
about your neighborhood
safety plan.
Oh, well he's been
really helpful.
And I would love for
you to get it going.
That's the plan.
- After I'm elected.
- I don't understand.
I'm offering you a job.
Why would I do that?
Because he also mentioned
the legal trouble
that your husband's been having.
He hasn't been
convicted of anything.
But does it really matter,
when that's your
entire platform?
- Can we order a pizza?
- Uh, one-one minute.
- Anyway, you're busy.
- Think about it.
Oh.
Mahalo.
.
- Oh.
Do Not Disturb is on.
You're disturbing!
Oh, my God.
What do you want?
A do-over.
I'm good.
There's nothing to steal
from you this time.
One drink.
I need that plate back.
What for?
So I can replace
what I took from you.
- What good would that do?
- You could say
that you misplaced it and
make everything right again.
- Too late.
- Wouldn't make us right.
- He made me do it, okay?
- You should have told me.
- I had to protect my family.
- Maybe I could have helped.
I'm supposed to trust
the person who busted me?
- Yeah.
- How?
I trusted you.
Because we're supposed
to be friends?
- I don't know.
- How would that even work?
I don't know.
Okay, so we just put
aside that I do what I do
and that you do what you
do, and we just meet up
for a girls' trip
in Cabo every year?
The plate's back in D.C.
- Can you get it?
- I just want to get him.
- I can't run.
- Why?
Because she's gonna
use Dean against me.
Who leaked it?
Her daughter takes tap
with the chief's kid.
It's a mom thing.
Look, I have to
bring back something.
I have to drop out.
And I'd rather it not be you.
So, what am I
supposed to do here?
Do to her what you did to me.
What they call a gym
is actually a closet
with a NordicTrack from 1992.
I'd be better off up here
curling bags of my own urine.
Please don't.
Everything cool?
Yep.
I'm gonna take a shower.
- That I say that, obviously.
How come everything makes
me think of Harry Styles?
- I mean...
I thought he broke up with her.
Could be a rebound.
Do you want me to,
uh, turn the oven on?
What's wrong?
Oh, nothing, they just
forgot the garlic knots.
Mm-hmm. I'll warm it up.
There's pizza, if you
want to come up for air.
Cool. Come check us out.
That will not be
necessary, thank you.
Come here!
She needed someone
to do the back.
- You could have called.
They shut my phone off.
You can't pay your phone bill?
Auto-pay is connected
to an overdrawn account.
It's like a whole thing.
Well, I really hope you
know what you're doing.
He trained at Vidal Sassoon.
- Oh no, Vito Sassin.
- Who's that?
Owns the dog-grooming
place on Trumble.
Oh, my God.
Okay, you know what,
I'm gonna take over.
Why don't you grab a slice, huh?
- All right.
- Thank you.
Okay.
How is it?
Let me see.
Hmm.
Oh, no.
Can't believe I'm saying this,
but he actually
got all your roots.
- Really?
- Yeah.
And I feel like he somehow
may have given you highlights?
Oh. Okay.
Maybe I should
start going to Vito.
Wow. This is, like,
kind of amazing.
- Well, so is he.
You know, he taught me
how to get double points.
And not just at CVS, but, like,
Walgreens, Rite Aid, Krogers.
They all apparently do it.
- Yeah.
- His whole life is a hack.
I shouldn't have been
so judgey about him.
It's hard not to be.
- He's a really good guy.
- Yeah.
You know, there aren't
a lot of them out there.
- Ugh, I know.
- I'm really happy for you.
Oh. Uh, no, we're not...
it's not like-like that.
Oh.
Why not?
- It's so clean.
- Oh, well, my kids know
it's the only way to
get their allowance.
I can hardly get mine
to brush their teeth.
Oh, well, you know,
you just... you have
to give them structure.
Or maybe you're very
good at convincing people
to do things they
don't want to do.
- Coffee?
- Yes, please.
If it makes you feel any better,
I think that we're
gonna be a great team.
- Oh, so do I.
- Wonderful.
I couldn't win without you.
Wait, I'm sorry?
I'm gonna need all
those Jesus lovers.
Is that a Portmeirion
butter dish?
- Yeah.
- It was an anniversary gift.
Do you have the whole set?
He can have it.
Do you collect Portmeirion?
Nah.
What is he doing?
He is making it look
like a home invasion.
Wait, no, I-I-I have a family.
So do I.
Wait, please-please
don't do this.
Can we hurry this up?
I've got to pick
up Danny from band.
I'll do whatever you want.
I'll leave him out of it.
Does your daughter skate too?
Hey, do you like figure skating?
I love the Ice Capades.
He will be at every practice,
every show, everywhere.
- I won't-I won't tell anyone.
Oh, hey, thank you
for your support.
.
- Come over here.
- I got it.
- No, I need you to see.
- Come here.
- Yeah.
- What is that?
It's not the end of the world.
A Big Mac is people food.
I'm sorry, okay?
- Well, how does that help me?
- I...
What do you want, Tina?
I want you to wake up in
the middle of the night
when Licorice has his
squirts all over our bedroom.
- Fine.
- Hey, we're not done here.
He barely ate of it.
I just need you to
answer something.
What's that?
How do you make it through
your day being such a moron?
Can we talk about this later?
Just think about my question.
Hey, where were we? Um...
Oh, right, so corporate
wants us to do a promo
with the fruit acid peel.
Can I ask you something?
Oh, she's on an elephant dose
of IVF crap. Ignore her.
Hey, did you really give
that stuff to the DA?
Yeah. Why?
- Saw him yesterday.
- Where?
- Starbucks.
- Nice.
He works there.
Well, he works out
of a lot of places.
Mm, no, he was
serving the coffee.
- Middle-aged balanced dad?
- Yeah, with a green apron.
That could have been anybody.
But the name tag said "Darryl."
We didn't have a choice.
I made the name tag part up.
We're gonna send
it to the real DA.
What are you guys waiting for?
- Ask your friend.
- Stan?
Hey, you're not the only
one in a tight spot.
Jesus, it's all
over the comforter!
- Coming!
- Bring the carpet cleaner!
Excuse me.
You in my business again?
- What the hell is bee venom?
- Oh.
Don't tell me. I know this one.
Increases blood
flow to the area,
bringing fresh
oxygen and nutrients.
Also stimulates the production
of collagen and elastin.
Hmm. Yeah, I meant all
of this. What is this?
Well, it's my
business, literally.
- Bee venom?
- No, not just that.
There's a... got
a Vitamin C balm,
got your Energizing Face Wash,
and you got your
Serum Concentrate.
So, lotions.
Look, babe, I'm
just-I'm just trying
to keep us out of trouble, okay?
- But I have the club now.
- Club's trouble.
The club pays the bills.
Till more trouble
comes knocking.
- Who is this trouble?
- I don't know.
But it just always kind of
seems to find you ladies.
Is this, like, the Scouts,
where I gotta make
people buy it at work?
- No. No, no, no.
- I hit up my own network.
- How deep are you in this?
- What, just a year's worth.
- Jesus.
- What?
Just so you know, none of
these are for Black people.
These are all for Black people.
That's not for Black people.
- How'd we get our stuff back?
- I don't know.
Maybe we got our fish back too.
You got another zit?
Nope.
It's not a knock,
but it's a start.
I love what you've
done with the place.
Why'd you give it all back?
Not all of it.
Why any of it?
Saw you're tagging's
really coming along.
I've got a really
good campaign team.
I told you you didn't need him.
I will take one of
those T-shirts, though.
Get me my funny money back.
How am I supposed to do that?
- Ask nicely.
- The cops?
Not them.
Nancy tried to grow
the business too fast.
- What's the damage?
- We're totaled.
You're homeless?
He's experiencing homelessness.
What happened with Angela?
She's not really
roommate material.
Why did you leave?
No one's ever really
needed me before.
I found this in my
underwear a while ago.
I got this from my wife's cell.
We're back in the club.
- Who's name is it in?
- All of us.
You can't give that
stuff to the DA.
Putting me in a tough spot.
If you can just drag
your feet a little bit...
It'd be a different story
if you were one of us.
- Can we help you?
- We're here about the dancing.
We're fully zoned and licensed.
There's enough there to
keep you from opening.
You want this
problem to go away?
- Yes, please.
- Then run for city council.
Miss us?
- So, what now?
- We get him.
You think a strip
club owner has a shot?
What changed your mind?
You.
Because crime isn't just
something that's downtown.
It's in our community.
And if we don't do something
about it right now,
the robberies, the drug
dealing, the gangs,
they're gonna show
up in our back yard,
or our front steps,
or even our kitchens.
And personally, I want
to live in a world
where I don't have to
lock my front door,
or watch my back every time
I go to the grocery store,
or worry that someone's
parked on my street,
waiting for me to leave,
so they can just come in
and take whatever they want.
I want to go back
to that Ashfield.
And I know you do too.
And that's why I'm
running for city council,
to proudly represent Ward 5.
How was it?
It was long.
Did you understand it?
Parts were funny.
You're really doing this, huh?
Was it that bad?
Uh, the principal
wants to see us again.
Didn't do it.
Okay, one more
time, from the top.
Street crime. You
got your petty theft,
drugs, carjacking,
what have you.
Now, this is where
you ladies come in.
Some of that money
gets washed right here.
The rest turns into counterfeit.
Then it goes across the
border and comes back clean.
But now they got to launder it,
or else the IRS starts
asking all these questions.
So, you have all your
little mom and pops,
electrical companies, plumbing,
materials, construction.
- Oh, I'm the banker.
- Oh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Those same companies
pay for protection,
kickbacks to your boy.
- He is not our boy.
- Like, why does everyone...
- And in return, they get...
- Body glitter.
Contracts from a shell company,
owned by, guess who?
Gang friend's fairy godfather?
Is that what we're
gonna call him?
Works for me.
Now, this is where it
gets a little complicated.
Oh, jeez.
The shell companies are
hired by the city to build
whatever projects gang fairy
godfather can get approved.
Which is why he needs
you in that seat.
But we don't know what
his next project is.
Which is why we need
you in that seat.
To bring them all down.
Any questions?
Yeah.
How much of this do
we have to understand
to get our deal back?
None of it.
Good, 'cause you lost
me with that cutlet.
There's no deal.
He's here on vacation.
- So are you.
- Not really.
Well, I'm calling it a vacation.
Mm, I'm calling it suspended
for misplacing a suitcase
full of fake cash while
having drinks with a "friend."
So, just to be clear,
there's nothing in it for us.
How about not going
away for all of this?
Now, would that be
to a Canadian prison?
- Does that matter?
- I think I could handle it.
Can we keep our
cut from all this?
- Yeah.
- We all go home winners.
- What if I can't win?
- You're a natural.
Yeah, be she doesn't
know jack about politics.
She's great at pretending
to be something she's not.
Okay, look, there's
nothing to win.
You're just filling
an open seat.
- That was mine.
Just get the signatures.
- 97.98.99.100.
- Ahh!
- Whoo-hoo!
And I nominate my
buddy Bob Allen.
100 pushups, 100 seconds.
Why are you doing this?
He called me out on Insta.
Well, everyone at
the office did it.
- So what?
- So, if I flake,
I'd look like I don't
want to save teacup pigs.
- Do you believe this?
- I did it last week.
All right, show of hands,
who here even knows
what a teacup pig looks like?
A teacup pig?
- Thank you.
- Hey, what's up, boys?
Can I talk to you
guys for a sec?
Yeah.
- Don't worry.
- We won't nominate you.
No. Now you have to,
'cause I don't want
to be the only one.
Um, so, where are we at?
- With what?
- You know, my whole situation.
- Working on it.
- Yeah.
Okay, 'cause you... you
guys say that every time.
You can't just stick
it in Lady Justice.
Yeah, she's got to want it.
My wife is running
for city council.
What?
- Why?
- I don't know. Civic pride?
Well, that's just
what the city needs,
another woman on top.
I don't want her
to be humiliated.
Well, that's not on us.
In front of, you know,
like, the whole world.
- You backing out now?
- Hell no.
I don't know. Look, maybe...
You know, maybe-maybe
we just to a beat.
Hey, Darryl.
- This is Dean.
- Hey.
Who's that?
Oh, you don't know your
friendly county DA?
He's one of us?
How do you think I
win all my cases?
Like we said, we're on it.
But we can do whatever you want.
Yeah, your call.
You good?
I just want it to be as quick
and painless as possible.
You got it, Dean.
But, uh, don't bring it
up here, though, okay?
- Sure.
- If this gets out,
be more than just our
bar cards on the line.
Mmm.
- Oh, hey, can you chop the...
- Already done.
Julienned. Nice.
Only took two
Band-Aids this time.
Aw, yeah.
- Eh?
- That looks great.
- Pretty good, right?
- Just in time, BM.
- Hi.
- Can that not be my nickname?
- It's your initials.
- Oh, speaking of... here.
Also something you flush.
Auntie Beth needs
you to sign this.
Uh, I'm not even
old enough to vote.
Okay, well get dad to do it.
- He's in Petoskey.
- Some corporate retreat.
- What about Nance?
- She's in bed.
- She sick or something?
- Depressed.
Why, 'cause she lost
her honorary parking
spot at Tiffany's?
More like her entire
purpose in life.
I'm gonna go change.
Ow.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
- Is it your eyebrow zit?
You can see it?
Dude, it's like a third eye.
I've tried everything.
- Those are the worse.
- It won't go away.
Yeah, those kill.
It's, like, holding
my face hostage.
- Let me at it.
- Absolutely not.
- It'll feel so much better.
- No, that's disgusting.
Okay, here. Just trust me.
- What are you doing?
- Come here.
We just need to open up
the pores a little bit.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
Hmm. Just like a spa.
Mm-hmm.
- Okay, can we stop?
- My eyeballs are hard-boiled.
This is ridiculous.
All right, how's it feel?
- Still bad.
- Okay.
- Don't do it.
- I'm going in.
You don't have to do this. No.
- I'm going in. Shh.
- No, no, no.
What if it squirts
into your eyeball?
Well, that will
certainly make our night
more interesting.
- Kevin.
- Annie.
Gentle. Gentle. Gentle.
- Oh!
Ow!
Eww.
How's it feel now?
It feels better, okay?
- Hungry?
- Not especially.
- Another beer?
- That, I would do.
All right.
Just sign at the bottom there.
- How many do you have?
- I'm getting there.
Do you want to hear where I
stand on the issues again?
Just really puts us
out there, you know?
You just have to hold
my purse a few times.
So
wouldn't have to dig too deep.
Your police records are sealed.
Well, that's not really
what I'm worried about.
Then what is it?
I just...
I don't want the whole thing
to blow up in your face.
Then wear long pants.
Who's "Bongo Man"?
Kevin's friend from the park.
That can't be his given name.
It's what he goes by.
Did you get his ID?
I saw the bongo.
Oh, excuse me, where'd you
guys get your signatures from?
- Church.
- School.
- Work.
- Kroger.
- We both hit the Kroger.
- Two different days.
Well, now we have all
the demos covered, okay?
So much for this being low key.
Maybe gang fairy
godfather tipped them off.
But I-I didn't, like,
put on makeup, and...
- It's fine. It's fine.
- You look hot.
I'm supposed to look like a mom.
- Hot mom.
- Denise!
We can't just give
this seat away,
especially to a woman who
doesn't share our values,
which is why I am also
running for city council,
to ensure that our
wonderful community
is represented by someone
who understand what
our children need.
How do you feel about
the proposed dress code
for public school?
Looks like you just
got out-mom'd, brah.
.
Do you know what it means
to be Ashfield proud?
Denise Carpenter does.
Enriching the lives
of those in need.
Helping to shape
the developing mind.
And comforting those
entering the autumn of life.
She believes the pulse of
our city comes from service,
faith, and family.
Because her heart's always
been in the same place...
With the people of Ashfield.
I'm Ashfield proud.
Paid for by Family
First Alliance.
Yeah, that sucks.
And why does everyone look so
much more important in slow-mo?
I know, even the flag
waving kind of got me
a little choked up, you know?
You said I was a shoo-in.
That was before
Jesus got involved.
Well, can you, like, grease
some palms or whatever?
To get you elected?
Isn't that what you guys do?
It's not really
how democracy works.
Okay, so all your
projects and whatever...
- What about them?
- They're all
aboveboard?
You know, this isn't
zoning and garden for kids
or building a parking structure.
So, how can I help
you with those things
if you can't help
me get elected?
Money.
And where is that pot of gold?
- Nowhere good.
- I'm used to it.
Donors, Elizabeth.
And how do we get to their gold?
Take them to your church.
How's your civic pride tonight?
- Solid.
- I'm gonna need to see it.
All donations, tax-deductible!
Keep the bottom
for your receipt.
- 20 bucks.
- What's it get me?
Safer streets.
And that's why I would expand
our neighborhood
watch crime groups.
Because the best eyes on the
street are your neighbors.
You can't always
trust the police,
so you gotta make sure
that your tax dollars
are going to the programs
that are gonna really help
protect your community.
So, can I count on your support?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Come on, you can
do better than that
to support our girl.
Hello?
Anybody home?
I, uh, I used the key.
Let's see. Rise and shine.
- Hmm.
Oh, my God.
Leave me alone!
Do you know where your baby is?
With someone who showers.
Do you know what day it is?
Does it matter?
Yes. Because it is spa day.
Huh. Look at this.
Eyes.
Face.
Hair.
And even body.
Here. Let's... come here.
Give me a foot. Where's
that little foot?
- No.
- Where is that little foot?
Stop! What is wrong with you?
- What is wrong with you?
- I lost everything!
Ugh. Well, so get it back!
It's not like
it's not like Tupperware
that someone borrowed.
Look, you know, businesses fail.
It-it happens.
- You don't get it.
Why don't you try me?
I was super into this
senior in high school,
and he was super into
this "Mortal Kombat" game
at our 7-Eleven.
Every day before school,
I went and I practiced,
to impress him.
- Well, did it work?
- We went to prom.
- Hey y'all.
- Also, I had, like,
the highest score for,
like, seven years,
before some dick
unplugged the machine.
You know it was him.
I never fail.
- What about your marriage?
- Excuse me?
I mean, he did bone me.
- Okay.
- More than once.
- Are you-are you serious?
- While you were pregnant.
- It was a rough patch.
- I don't know.
Sounds like a pretty
big fail, if you ask me.
Got him back, didn't I?
Exactly.
God.
You didn't have
any better example
for your teachable moment?
Look, you just... you just
hit another rough patch.
It's so embarrassing.
Hey.
It's gonna be okay.
I'm gonna leave you
to your pity party.
Just remember, massager,
not just for your foot.
I can't pay you back
for any of this.
It's cool. I used CVS points.
Cute.
20 bucks.
Yeah, no, I'm good.
How about a bumper sticker?
I'll just take my dry cleaning.
It's all boxed up.
Hey, let me ask you something.
- What's in it for you?
- What do you mean?
I mean, why do you
want to run this town?
Nick said I would good at it.
Oh. Nick, huh?
- Yeah, your genetic relation.
- Whatever you call him.
Pretty smart guy.
Yeah, he seems to
know how it all works.
So, you just do
whatever Nick says, huh?
Don't you?
That's what you think?
I just know he's in city hall
and you're in a strip club.
Mm-hmm.
That's some bag you got.
Yeah, he's a pretty smart guy.
Oh, no doubt.
Box that up for me too.
- This isn't yours.
- It's my strip club.
- This is campaign money.
- No.
You didn't get this far
by taking handouts, right?
- I need this to run.
- Oh, yeah?
Let's see.
You can't.
Take it up with city hall.
.
- That make you feel good?
- Yo, get him a Scotch.
- Really showed me, huh?
- Top shelf.
- Any shelf is fine.
- Oh.
Look who's trying
to keep it real now.
Make it off the top.
I don't think you get what
we're trying to do here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ain't no we.
What you're trying to do.
There'd be no shelf if
it wasn't for what I do.
- Fine, drink the cheap stuff.
- No shelves at all.
And you'd be on a city
salary if it wasn't for me.
Don't forget that.
You think you'd
have any of this?
You think you'd have her?
- Just know one thing.
- What?
- It isn't about her.
- What's it about?
It won't be me doing the time.
'Cause you'd make
sure it was me.
Nah, I got this.
- No, no, no.
- You better keep what you can.
Can't we just get those
donor guys back to the club?
- And tell them what?
- "Oopsie, we lost it all"?
Okay. What about a car wash?
Do you have any
idea how much, like,
a minute of airtime costs?
Paid for that sick-ass trip
in high school we
took to Toronto.
Thought you hated Canada.
- Except Toronto.
- Seriously?
It's the best science
center in the world.
Hmm. You'd have to wash
every car in the city.
Can we just skip the
part where we pretend
like there's any
legitimate way to do this?
- Fine.
- But we gotta change it up.
- New masks?
- Like Halloween?
Or like those motorcycle helmets
with the mirrored visors.
You can't hear a thing in those.
Sorry, where are you
buying a Halloween mask
- this time of year?
- Uh, Amazon.
We can't rob.
- We've never carjacked.
- Still need a mask for that.
You guys. My entire
platform is anti-crime.
- So?
- So, we can't do crime.
No, we just can't do
crime and then get caught.
Hmm. It's the end of an era.
Hey, Principal Clark's waiting.
- You got to hustle.
- Aren't you coming?
Unless he wants to meet
on the corner of Delaney
and 3rd, it is all you.
You're right. Sorry.
What did he do this time?
Your son's very popular
with all the students.
That's good.
- They think he's hilarious.
- He is.
And also very creative.
Okay, what am I doing here?
I'm in the lounge the other day,
when I hear... honking.
Okay?
All day. It-it doesn't end.
- Right.
- So, eventually, I got up,
went outside to see
what was going on,
and Kenny had written on
the side of the building.
And what did it say?
"Honk if you hate
Principal Clark."
Oh.
Apparently, everyone
in town hates me,
because it went to the point
that teachers could
barely conduct lessons.
And how do you know
that it was Kenny?
I had hair before
I met your son.
Also, these were in his locker.
How's it going at
home, Mrs. Boland?
I mean, you know, just
like every other family.
- How's his binge eating?
- Much better.
- Well,
I'm afraid to say he's still
having a hard time here.
I mean, the kid constantly
needs attention,
and he certainly
knows how to get it.
We encourage our students
to get their message across,
just not at the
school's expense.
Won't happen again.
My opponent can blanket the
airwaves with her message.
But I'd rather be out
here doing something.
And what's your
message, Mrs. Boland?
It's time to clean
up our streets.
My removing their calling cards,
we're saying to these gangs,
you are not welcome in Ashfield.
And whether I'm elected or not,
I will continue to fight
for the safety of
this community.
And how do you plan to do that?
Well, as a mother, I know
that some of the best
ways to clean up a mess
are to get to it
before it starts.
What are you doing? Uh-uh.
No. You gotta go big.
When you walk by a business
that's vandalized like this,
and you just assume
that it's normal,
you know what happens?
It becomes normal.
How'd I do? And a
building like this
- with these tags says...
- Can I have my iPad?
You're still grounded.
Wait, who's that guy?
Who?
- That-that guy. The guy.
- The guy with the coffees.
Uh, he's just some
guy who works there.
Are you sure?
I mean, he made me a latte.
Why, do you know him?
- I thought I did, yeah.
Hey, Mom, your friend's here.
Hi, Denise.
Does your family have a
special tie to the islands?
There's so much Caribbean flair.
Uh, Kenny, get the
girls ready for dance.
- Is that a hot tub?
- Yeah.
We like to treat every
day like it's a vacation.
Well, how do you
have time to relax
with all the campaigning
that you're doing?
How can I help you, Denise?
I came to congratulate you.
- I haven't won yet.
- Chief Gorski has been raving
about your neighborhood
safety plan.
Oh, well he's been
really helpful.
And I would love for
you to get it going.
That's the plan.
- After I'm elected.
- I don't understand.
I'm offering you a job.
Why would I do that?
Because he also mentioned
the legal trouble
that your husband's been having.
He hasn't been
convicted of anything.
But does it really matter,
when that's your
entire platform?
- Can we order a pizza?
- Uh, one-one minute.
- Anyway, you're busy.
- Think about it.
Oh.
Mahalo.
.
- Oh.
Do Not Disturb is on.
You're disturbing!
Oh, my God.
What do you want?
A do-over.
I'm good.
There's nothing to steal
from you this time.
One drink.
I need that plate back.
What for?
So I can replace
what I took from you.
- What good would that do?
- You could say
that you misplaced it and
make everything right again.
- Too late.
- Wouldn't make us right.
- He made me do it, okay?
- You should have told me.
- I had to protect my family.
- Maybe I could have helped.
I'm supposed to trust
the person who busted me?
- Yeah.
- How?
I trusted you.
Because we're supposed
to be friends?
- I don't know.
- How would that even work?
I don't know.
Okay, so we just put
aside that I do what I do
and that you do what you
do, and we just meet up
for a girls' trip
in Cabo every year?
The plate's back in D.C.
- Can you get it?
- I just want to get him.
- I can't run.
- Why?
Because she's gonna
use Dean against me.
Who leaked it?
Her daughter takes tap
with the chief's kid.
It's a mom thing.
Look, I have to
bring back something.
I have to drop out.
And I'd rather it not be you.
So, what am I
supposed to do here?
Do to her what you did to me.
What they call a gym
is actually a closet
with a NordicTrack from 1992.
I'd be better off up here
curling bags of my own urine.
Please don't.
Everything cool?
Yep.
I'm gonna take a shower.
- That I say that, obviously.
How come everything makes
me think of Harry Styles?
- I mean...
I thought he broke up with her.
Could be a rebound.
Do you want me to,
uh, turn the oven on?
What's wrong?
Oh, nothing, they just
forgot the garlic knots.
Mm-hmm. I'll warm it up.
There's pizza, if you
want to come up for air.
Cool. Come check us out.
That will not be
necessary, thank you.
Come here!
She needed someone
to do the back.
- You could have called.
They shut my phone off.
You can't pay your phone bill?
Auto-pay is connected
to an overdrawn account.
It's like a whole thing.
Well, I really hope you
know what you're doing.
He trained at Vidal Sassoon.
- Oh no, Vito Sassin.
- Who's that?
Owns the dog-grooming
place on Trumble.
Oh, my God.
Okay, you know what,
I'm gonna take over.
Why don't you grab a slice, huh?
- All right.
- Thank you.
Okay.
How is it?
Let me see.
Hmm.
Oh, no.
Can't believe I'm saying this,
but he actually
got all your roots.
- Really?
- Yeah.
And I feel like he somehow
may have given you highlights?
Oh. Okay.
Maybe I should
start going to Vito.
Wow. This is, like,
kind of amazing.
- Well, so is he.
You know, he taught me
how to get double points.
And not just at CVS, but, like,
Walgreens, Rite Aid, Krogers.
They all apparently do it.
- Yeah.
- His whole life is a hack.
I shouldn't have been
so judgey about him.
It's hard not to be.
- He's a really good guy.
- Yeah.
You know, there aren't
a lot of them out there.
- Ugh, I know.
- I'm really happy for you.
Oh. Uh, no, we're not...
it's not like-like that.
Oh.
Why not?
- It's so clean.
- Oh, well, my kids know
it's the only way to
get their allowance.
I can hardly get mine
to brush their teeth.
Oh, well, you know,
you just... you have
to give them structure.
Or maybe you're very
good at convincing people
to do things they
don't want to do.
- Coffee?
- Yes, please.
If it makes you feel any better,
I think that we're
gonna be a great team.
- Oh, so do I.
- Wonderful.
I couldn't win without you.
Wait, I'm sorry?
I'm gonna need all
those Jesus lovers.
Is that a Portmeirion
butter dish?
- Yeah.
- It was an anniversary gift.
Do you have the whole set?
He can have it.
Do you collect Portmeirion?
Nah.
What is he doing?
He is making it look
like a home invasion.
Wait, no, I-I-I have a family.
So do I.
Wait, please-please
don't do this.
Can we hurry this up?
I've got to pick
up Danny from band.
I'll do whatever you want.
I'll leave him out of it.
Does your daughter skate too?
Hey, do you like figure skating?
I love the Ice Capades.
He will be at every practice,
every show, everywhere.
- I won't-I won't tell anyone.
Oh, hey, thank you
for your support.
.
- Come over here.
- I got it.
- No, I need you to see.
- Come here.
- Yeah.
- What is that?
It's not the end of the world.
A Big Mac is people food.
I'm sorry, okay?
- Well, how does that help me?
- I...
What do you want, Tina?
I want you to wake up in
the middle of the night
when Licorice has his
squirts all over our bedroom.
- Fine.
- Hey, we're not done here.
He barely ate of it.
I just need you to
answer something.
What's that?
How do you make it through
your day being such a moron?
Can we talk about this later?
Just think about my question.
Hey, where were we? Um...
Oh, right, so corporate
wants us to do a promo
with the fruit acid peel.
Can I ask you something?
Oh, she's on an elephant dose
of IVF crap. Ignore her.
Hey, did you really give
that stuff to the DA?
Yeah. Why?
- Saw him yesterday.
- Where?
- Starbucks.
- Nice.
He works there.
Well, he works out
of a lot of places.
Mm, no, he was
serving the coffee.
- Middle-aged balanced dad?
- Yeah, with a green apron.
That could have been anybody.
But the name tag said "Darryl."
We didn't have a choice.
I made the name tag part up.
We're gonna send
it to the real DA.
What are you guys waiting for?
- Ask your friend.
- Stan?
Hey, you're not the only
one in a tight spot.
Jesus, it's all
over the comforter!
- Coming!
- Bring the carpet cleaner!
Excuse me.
You in my business again?
- What the hell is bee venom?
- Oh.
Don't tell me. I know this one.
Increases blood
flow to the area,
bringing fresh
oxygen and nutrients.
Also stimulates the production
of collagen and elastin.
Hmm. Yeah, I meant all
of this. What is this?
Well, it's my
business, literally.
- Bee venom?
- No, not just that.
There's a... got
a Vitamin C balm,
got your Energizing Face Wash,
and you got your
Serum Concentrate.
So, lotions.
Look, babe, I'm
just-I'm just trying
to keep us out of trouble, okay?
- But I have the club now.
- Club's trouble.
The club pays the bills.
Till more trouble
comes knocking.
- Who is this trouble?
- I don't know.
But it just always kind of
seems to find you ladies.
Is this, like, the Scouts,
where I gotta make
people buy it at work?
- No. No, no, no.
- I hit up my own network.
- How deep are you in this?
- What, just a year's worth.
- Jesus.
- What?
Just so you know, none of
these are for Black people.
These are all for Black people.
That's not for Black people.
- How'd we get our stuff back?
- I don't know.
Maybe we got our fish back too.
You got another zit?
Nope.
It's not a knock,
but it's a start.
I love what you've
done with the place.
Why'd you give it all back?
Not all of it.
Why any of it?
Saw you're tagging's
really coming along.
I've got a really
good campaign team.
I told you you didn't need him.
I will take one of
those T-shirts, though.