Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 5, Episode 7 - The Trouble with Cheesecake - full transcript

GOOD EVENING,

AND WELCOME AGAIN
TO THE FOOD GALLERY.

TONIGHT, WE STROLL
MY FAVORITE EXHIBIT --
HEARTBREAK HALL.

HERE, WE HOUSE THOSE RECIPES
WHICH, DESPITE LAVISHINGS OF
TIME, ATTENTION, AND MONEY,

TEND TO BITE THE HAND
OF THOSE THAT MAKE THEM.

BEEF WELLINGTON...

THE SOUFFLé...

BOUILLABAISSE...

MY, THAT DOESN'T LOOK
VERY GOOD, DOES IT?

AND OF COURSE, TONIGHT'S
FEATURED DISH OF DOOM,

THE CHEESECAKE.



OH, I KNOW, THOSE LUSCIOUS
LOVELIES THAT SO OFTEN

POPULATE THE PAGES
OF THE POPULAR PRESS
ARE SEDUCTIVE.

BUT ALL TOO OFTEN,
REALITY IS NAUGHT.

DOES IT HAVE
TO BE THIS WAY?

INDEED, SOME SAY YES.

SOME ARGUE THAT
THIS IS SIMPLY NATURE
TAKING ITS COURSE.

I SAY NO.

I SAY THAT WITH THE RIGHT
INGREDIENTS AND SOME
RELIABLE SCIENCE,

CHEESECAKE WILL NOT ONLY
BE BEAUTIFUL,

IT WILL BE...

I'D BE WILLING TO BET
THAT 9 OUT OF 10
CHEESECAKE FAILURES

STEM FROM THE FACT
THAT COOKS EXPECT CHEESECAKE
TO ACT LIKE CAKE.

WHY WOULDN'T THEY?

AFTER ALL,
IT IS CHEESE-CAKE.



BUT SUPPOSE THAT
WE COULD ASK FOR
AN IMPARTIAL ANALYSIS

FROM SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER
EVEN HEARD OF CHEESECAKE.

SAY, FOR INSTANCE,
AN ALIEN MAKING HIS FIRST
TRIP TO PLANET EARTH.

THAT DOES EXPLAIN A FEW
THINGS, DOESN'T IT?

UM, KING, WHAT'S THAT?

THAT THERE
IS PIE.

PIE, SEE WHAT I MEAN?

WHAT KIND OF PIE,
WOULD YOU SAY?

THAT WOULD REQUIRE
FURTHER ANALYSIS.

PLEASE, BE MY GUEST.

(slurping sounds)

(burp)

SEEING AS HOW THE STRUCTURAL
MATRIX IS COMPOSED
OF EGG PROTEINS,

I WOULD SAY THAT'S
A CUSTARD PIE.

CUSTARD PIE...

THANK YOU,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THE KING HAS LEFT
THE PLANET.

THINK ABOUT IT,
ASIDE, OF COURSE,
FROM THE CRUST,

A BASIC CHEESECAKE ONLY
CONTAINS SOME SUGAR,
VANILLA,

EGGS,
AND DAIRY.

IT'S A CUSTARD, NO MATTER
HOW YOU CUT IT.

IN FACT, THE ONLY REAL
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
A CHEESECAKE AND A CREAM PIE

IS THAT MOST OF THE DAIRY
IN THE CHEESECAKE COMES
IN THE FORM

OF A SOFT, SMOOTH, TANGY
COW'S MILK CHEESE

CONTAINING NO LESS THAN
33 PERCENT MILKFAT

AND NO MORE THAN 55 PERCENT
MOISTURE, KNOWN FAR AND WIDE
AS CREAM CHEESE.

NOW I ALSO LIKE TO USE
A LITTLE WHIPPING CREAM
AND SOME SOUR CREAM

TO UP THE TANGINESS
AND TO SOFTEN THE BATTER.

SOFTER BATTER,
RICHER CAKE.

AND SINCE THE CHEESE IS A
LITTLE ON THE BRICKY-SIDE
RIGHT NOW,

I'M GONNA KEEP ALL THIS
ON THE COUNTER FOR A FEW
MINUTES TO WARM UP.

MEANWHILE,
WE'LL TALK PANS.

A CHEESECAKER HAS TWO PANS
TO CHOOSE FROM.

YOU CAN USE A SOLID
ONE-PIECE PAN
WITH HIGH WALLS.

I'D SAY THAT'S ABOUT
THREE INCHES.

OR YOU CAN GO WITH
A SPRINGFORM PAN,

WHICH REALLY ISN'T A PAN
AT ALL,

JUST A METAL COLLAR THAT
LOCKS AROUND A FLAT DISK
AT THE BOTTOM.

I REALLY LIKE THESE
FOR SAVORY CHEESECAKES,

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO SWEET
CHEESECAKES, I GO WITH
THE ONE PIECE.

WHY A DIFFERENT PAN?

PATIENCE, GRASSHOPPER.

OF COURSE, PEAK PERFORMANCE
IS PREDICATED ON PROPER
PAN PREPARATION.

YOU KNOW, ANYBODY THAT OWNS
MORE THAN ONE CAKE PAN KNOWS

WHAT A PAIN THEY ARE
TO STORE,

SO WHY NOT GO DOWN
TO THE HARDWARE STORE,

BUY A FEW MAGNETS,
AND JUST HOT GLUE THEM TO
THE INSIDE OF YOUR CABINET.

YOU CAN JUST POP THE PAN ON
AND FORGET ABOUT IT.

OF COURSE, IF IT'S AN
ALUMINUM PAN,

YOU'LL NEED TO ADD ANOTHER
MAGNET TO SANDWICH ON THERE.

SCIENCE, IT'S FUN.

(Alton)
NO-STICK PEACE OF MIND
COMES FOR THE PRICE

OF A SINGLE PIECE
OF PARCHMENT PAPER --
A LONG ONE.

HOW LONG?

WELL, LONG ENOUGH SO THAT
WHEN IT'S UNFURLED,

IT WILL COMPLETELY COVER
THE INSIDE WALLS
OF THE PAN.

NOW CUT OUT ONE CORNER,
MAKING SURE THAT IT IS
WIDER IN ALL DIRECTIONS

THAN THE PAN IS, ITSELF.

GOT IT?

OKAY, NOW FOLD IT OVER
SIDE TO SIDE,

KIND OF LIKE YOU'RE
STARTING A PAPER AIRPLANE.

THEN FOLD IT OVER
END TO END,

KIND OF LIKE
A HANDKERCHIEF.

THEN FOLD IT CORNER
TO CORNER.

NO, THIS ISN'T ORIGAMI,
TRUST ME.

AND ONE MORE TIME
SO THAT YOU'VE GOT
KIND OF A CONE.

HOLD THE POINT OF THIS CONE
OVER THE CENTER OF THE PAN,

MEASURE TO THE EDGE,
AND THEN CUT TO FIT.

ALL RIGHT, NOW SET THAT
ASIDE AND GET
SOME MELTED BUTTER.

AND JUST BRUSH THE INSIDE
OF THE PAN.

MAKE SURE YOU GET THE
CORNERS AND THE WALLS
ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP.

OPEN UP YOUR CONE,
AND LOOK AT THAT,

A PERFECT FIT
EVERY TIME.

TAKE YOUR KNIFE,
KINDA MEASURE THE WALL,

THEN MEASURE THAT OUT
ON THE REMAINING PARCHMENT.

YOU'RE GONNA CUT A STRIP
AS TALL AS THE WALL IS.

IF IT'S A LITTLE BIT
TALLER, THAT'S OKAY.

IF IT'S SHORTER,
THAT'S NOT SO OKAY.

JUST MAKE SURE THAT YOU CAN
PRESS IT RIGHT UP AGAINST
THE WALLS.

YOU'RE COVERED.

UNLIKE PASTRY CRUST, WHOSE
FINICKY TEMPERAMENT HAS BEEN

WELL-DOCUMENTED
THROUGH THE AGES,

THE PRESSED OR CRUMB CRUSTS
UNDER WHICH CHEESECAKES
ARE BUILT

ARE ACTUALLY NO-BRAINERS.

ALL YOU NEED IS SOME
OLD CAKE, SOME COOKIES,
OR MAYBE SOME CRACKERS.

IN THIS CASE, THE CLASSIC,
GRAHAM CRACKERS.

I'D SAY ABOUT 33 OF THEM
TO BE EXACT.

THE SECRET IN PREPPING
THIS CRUST IS THAT

YOU DON'T WANT TO CHOP
THESE UP TOO FINE.

YOU WANT TO CRUSH THEM
BY HAND.

SURE, YOU COULD DO IT
IN A FOOD PROCESSOR,

BUT IT WOULD BE
WAY TOO EVEN.

YOU WANT TO END UP WITH
LOTS OF BIG PIECES

INTEGRATED WITH A LOT
OF LITTLE BITTY CRUMBS.

PERFECT.

NOW THIS GOES INTO
ONE STICK --
THAT'S 1/2 CUP --

OF UNSALTED BUTTER.

AND ADD TO THAT
ONE TABLESPOON OF SUGAR.

NOW STIR THOROUGHLY

JUST TO GET EVERYTHING
MOISTENED.

NOW THIS WE'RE GONNA ADD
STRAIGHT TO THE PAN.

WE'RE NOT GONNA ADD
ALL OF IT,

WE'RE ONLY GONNA ADD
ABOUT 2/3 OF IT.

DON'T WORRY, WE'LL SAVE
THE REST OF THAT FOR LATER.

NOW IF THIS LOOSE AMALGAM
OF CRUMBS

IS GOING TO COME TOGETHER
TO FORM A COHESIVE CRUST,

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ADD
A LITTLE BIT OF PRESSURE.

I THINK THAT AN EMPTY GLASS
DOES A REALLY GOOD JOB,

BUT A I THINK THAT AN EMPTY
GLASS WITH SOME WEIGHT...

DOES AN EVEN BETTER JOB.

SO JUST START IN THE MIDDLE
AND TAMP AROUND.

YOU REALLY WANT TO PRESS
THIS DOWN INTO THE CORNERS

ALL THE WAY AROUND.

JUST LET THE COINS
DO THE WORK FOR YOU.

NOW THIS GOES INTO
A 300-DEGREE OVEN
FOR 10 MINUTES.

NOW THAT'S CALLED
BLIND-BAKING A CRUST.

IT'S STANDARD PROCEDURE
FOR A LOT OF DIFFERENT PIES
THAT HAVE WET FILLINGS.

AGAIN, PIE,
NOT CAKE.

ALL RIGHT, WE'VE GOT JUST
ENOUGH TIME FOR THE FILLING.

BATTER BUILDING BEGINS
BY PUTTING YOUR PADDLE
ATTACHMENT ON YOUR MIXER.

THE FIRST THING THAT GOES IN
IS 1 1/4 CUP OF SOUR CREAM.

WE'RE GONNA MIX THAT
BY ITSELF FOR A FEW SECONDS
ON MEDIUM-HIGH SPEED.

WHY IN THE WORLD
WOULD YOU MIX ONE INGREDIENT
BY ITSELF?

LUBRICATION.

BY COVERING THE INSIDE
OF THE BOWL WITH SOUR CREAM,
AND OF COURSE, THE PADDLE,

WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT SO
THAT THE CREAM CHEESE
THAT'S COMING

IS NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO STICK,

IT'S NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO GET HOLD,

AND THAT'S GONNA MAKE
THE BATTER COME TOGETHER
A LOT QUICKER.

THERE WE GO.

NOW, 20 OUNCES
OF CREAM CHEESE.

THAT'S ABOUT 2 1/2 PACKAGES.

I SAID IT WAS GOOD,
I DIDN'T SAY
IT WAS FAT-FREE.

THERE WE GO.

AND I'M GONNA GO AHEAD
AND ADD A CUP OF SUGAR.

NOT ONLY IS THE SUGAR
AN IMPORTANT AGENT OF
FLAVORING,

BUT IT'S ALSO GONNA WORK
AS KIND OF AN ABRASIVE

AND HELP THIS BATTER
COME TOGETHER.

YOU NEED TO START AT
A VERY LOW SPEED, THOUGH,

OR THE SUGAR IS GONNA
END UP ON THE FLOOR.

AS SOON AS THE SUGAR
IS MOIST, YOU CAN GO AHEAD
AND TURN IT UP TO MEDIUM.

IT'S GONNA LOOK LIKE COTTAGE
CHEESE FOR A LONG TIME.

JUST LET IT GO.

IT'S GONNA BREAK DOWN
AND KIND OF LOOK LIKE
CREAM CHEESE ICING.

IT'LL BE SMOOTH,
JUST LIKE THAT.

IN THE MEANTIME,
COMBINE 1/3 CUP OF CREAM

WITH A TABLESPOON
OF VANILLA EXTRACT,

AND THREE EGG YOLKS,
AND TWO WHOLE EGGS.

OKAY, NOW STOP.

DO NOT ADD THIS TO THIS
WITHOUT SCRAPING DOWN
THE SIDES OF THE BOWL FIRST

BECAUSE THE BATTER
CANNOT COME TOGETHER

IF EVERYTHING IS STUCK
TO THE SIDE OF THE BOWL.

MAKE SURE YOU GET ALL THE
WAY DOWN TO THE BOTTOM.

A RUBBER SPATULA IS REALLY
THE ONLY WAY TO DO THIS.

ALSO, WIPE OFF
THE PADDLE.

YOU CAN SEE, THERE'S STILL
SOME CHUNKS OF THE CREAM
CHEESE IN THERE,

SO THIS HAS GOT A LITTLE
MORE WORK TO GO.

BACK ON MEDIUM.

IT'S OKAY TO GO AHEAD AND
START ADDING THE LIQUID.

BUT DO IT VERY,
VERY, SLOWLY.

ONCE YOU'VE GOT HALF
OF THE LIQUID IN,

STOP AND TAKE A LOOK
AT THE BATTER.

IT SHOULD BE COMING TOGETHER
PRETTY NICELY AT THIS POINT,

BUT GO AHEAD AND STOP
AND SCRAPE ONE MORE TIME.

THIS MAY SEEM LIKE
A REALLY SMALL THING,

BUT IT IS THE BIG DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN AN IFFY CHEESECAKE

AND A CHEESECAKE THAT IS
REALLY LIGHT AND FLUFFY.

NOW WE'RE GONNA TURN UP
THE SPEED A LITTLE BIT
HIGHER,

GET THAT OFF THE SIDE,
AND ADD THE LAST
OF THE LIQUID.

IT'S BATTER TIME.

GO AHEAD AND TURN
YOUR OVEN DOWN TO 250,

AND GET THAT CRUST
OUT OF THERE.

THIS HAS TO COOL DOWN
THOROUGHLY

BEFORE THE BATTER
IS INTRODUCED, OKAY?

TEN MINUTES ON THE COUNTER
OR YOU'RE GONNA END UP

WITH A POOL OF FAT
DOWN AT THE BOTTOM.

NOT GOOD EATS.

IN THE MEANTIME...

BRING TWO QUARTS OF WATER
TO A BOIL.

POUR IN YOUR BATTER,

MAKING SURE TO SCRAPE OUT
EVERY LAST BIT OF GOODNESS.

BUT BEFORE YOU GO
TO THE OVEN,

GIVE IT A LITTLE TWIST,

JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU GET
ALL THE AIR BUBBLES OUT,

AND IF ANY FLOAT UP
TO THE TOP AND DON'T
BREAK ON THEIR OWN,

GIVE THEM
A LITTLE BIT OF HELP.

NOW SINCE THIS IS
A TRUE CUSTARD,

WE WILL BE COOKING IT
IN A HOT WATER BATH.

THAT'S GONNA MEAN
ANOTHER PAN.

YOU COULD JUST PUT IT
IN A ROASTING PAN,

BUT IF YOU'VE GOT ONE,
IT'S ALWAYS NICE

TO GO WITH THE SAME SHAPE,
JUST BIGGER.

THIS PAN GOES RIGHT IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE OVEN,

AND I LIKE TO PUT A TOWEL
RIGHT DOWN IN THE BOTTOM.

IT'S GONNA ADD SOME
EXTRA INSULATION.

IT'S ALSO GONNA PREVENT
WATER FROM SPLASHING UP
WHEN WE POUR IT IN.

THE CHEESECAKE GOES
IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT,

BUT PUSH IT OVER
TO ONE SIDE JUST FOR NOW.

NOW THE WATER.

YOU ONLY NEED TO ADD ENOUGH
TO COME ABOUT 2/3 UP THE
SIDES OF THE CHEESECAKE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO
ANY HIGHER THAN THAT

OR YOU'LL JUST STEAM
THE CAKE.

YOU CAN START TO APPRECIATE
THE ONE-PIECE PAN APPROACH.

I MEAN, A SPRINGFORM,
WELL, THEY LEAK.

IT'S JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN MAKING SOUP HERE.

THERE WE GO.

IT USUALLY TAKES ABOUT
TWO QUARTS FOR ME.

NOW WE MOVE THIS
BACK RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE

AND PUSH IT RIGHT ON IN.

SO WHAT EXACTLY IS WITH
THIS HOT WATER BUSINESS?

OOH, EXCUSE ME.

LET'S SAY FOR A MINUTE
THAT THIS SPONGE

REPRESENTS ALL THE
INGREDIENTS IN OUR
CHEESECAKE

EXCEPT FOR EGG PROTEINS,
WHICH WE'LL SAY ARE
REPRESENTED BY THIS NET.

WHY A NET?

BECAUSE EGG PROTEINS,
WHEN THEY COOK OR DENATURE,

FORM A MOLECULAR MESH,
AND THAT MESH IS WHAT MAKES
A SOLID CHEESECAKE POSSIBLE.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT
IF THEY GET TOO HOT OR
IF THEY HEAT TOO QUICKLY,

THESE PROTEINS
OVER-COAGULATE,

THAT IS, THEY TIGHTEN UP,

AND THEY CAN LITERALLY
WRING ALL THE MOISTURE

OUT OF THE CHEESECAKE.

AND THAT'S DEFINITELY
NOT GOOD EATS.

SO THE KEY HERE IS THAT
WE'VE GOT TO,

ONE, INSULATE THE CHEESECAKE
FROM HIGH HEAT,

AND TWO, WE'VE GOT TO
CONTROL THE RATE AT WHICH

THAT HEAT MOVES INTO
THE CHEESECAKE.

AND THAT IS WHERE
THE WATER COMES IN.

IT DOESN'T LOOK DONE.

IT DOESN'T LOOK DONE,
AT ALL, DOES IT?

YOU KNOW WHAT, IT ISN'T,
BUT THAT'S OKAY,

BECAUSE, JUST LIKE
SCRAMBLED EGGS,

IF A CHEESECAKE LOOKS DONE
IN THE PAN,

IT'S GONNA BE OVERDONE
ON THE PLATE.

IT'S JUST LIKE A ROAST,
YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARRYOVER
INTO ACCOUNT.

THE TEMPERATURE IS GONNA
CONTINUE TO GO UP.

SO WHAT I LIKE TO DO IS
JUST LEAVE IT IN THE OVEN,

TURN THE OVEN OFF,

OPEN THE DOOR FOR ONE MINUTE
TO LET THE HOT AIR OUT,

AND THEN JUST CLOSE THE DOOR
AND LEAVE IT FOR
ONE MORE HOUR.

AN HOUR HAS GONE BY,
AND THAT LOOKS NICE.

NOW OBVIOUSLY, WHEN WE GET
THIS OUT, YOU DON'T WANT
TO PICK UP THIS PAN

OR YOU'LL SLOSH WATER
INTO THIS PAN,

WHICH WOULD BE
A BAD IDEA.

SO THIS GOES STRAIGHT
INTO THE REFRIGERATOR
FOR SIX HOURS.

HEY, I SAID IT WAS EASY,
I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS FAST.

OUR CHEESECAKE IS
THOROUGHLY CHILLED,

AND YOU'LL NOTICE,
NO CRACKS.

OF COURSE, NOW COMES THE
SECOND EVENT THAT TRIES
THE CHEESECAKER'S SOUL.

IT'S THE REMOVAL
FROM THE PAN.

I MEAN, YES, WE'VE GOT
THE PARCHMENT THERE,

BUT THERE IS A CHANCE THAT
SOME OF THE BUTTER THAT
WE PUT IN THE BOTTOM

HAS SOLIDIFIED
IN THE REFRIGERATOR

AND MIGHT BE TEMPTED
TO HOLD ON.

SO WE'RE JUST GONNA DIP
THIS DOWN INTO SOME VERY
HOT TAP WATER,

KEEPING MY HANDS ON IT
AT ALL TIME,

JUST TO LIQUIDIZE
THAT BUTTER THAT MIGHT
BE DOWN THERE.

I USUALLY LEAVE THIS DOWN
AND COUNT FOR ABOUT TEN.

THAT SHOULD DO IT.

RIGHT UP
INTO A TOWEL,

AND THEN TAKE A VERY THIN
BLADE, AND DIP IT
IN THE HOT WATER.

THEN JUST BARELY TRACE
AROUND THE PARCHMENT PAPER,

JUST TO MAKE SURE
NOTHING IS CLINGING.

ODDS ARE, IT ISN'T.

NOW JUST PULL OUT
THE PARCHMENT.

THAT CAME OUT
IN TWO PIECES.

NO PROBLEM WITH THAT.

GOOD.

NOW AS FAR AS
TURNING THIS OUT,

WE'VE GOT TO, OF COURSE,
TURN IT UPSIDE-DOWN, FIRST.

THAT MEANS...

I'M GONNA PUT A LITTLE
PIECE OF WAXED PAPER HERE

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT IT
TO STICK.

I'M JUST GONNA TURN IT OUT
ONTO THIS SPRINGFORM PAN
BOTTOM.

THERE WE GO.

NOW, OF COURSE, WE'VE GOT
TO GET THE PARCHMENT
OFF THE BOTTOM,

BUT THAT'S NO PROBLEM
BECAUSE EVERYTHING MELTED.

NOW THE CAKE IS, OF COURSE,
UPSIDE-DOWN,

AND HOPEFULLY, YOU'VE CHOSEN
A FINAL RESTING PLACE.

IT COULD BE ANYTHING FLAT,
REALLY...

A PLATTER,
A CEREMONIAL MASK,

IT COULD BE AN OLD
RECORD ALBUM, A FRISBEE,
A CLOCK, YOU NAME IT.

BUT WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU
DON'T HAVE ANYTHING FLAT,

OR YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING
FLAT, BUT YOU DON'T
WANT TO RISK

LEAVING IT OVER AT
YOUR IN-LAWS' HOUSE.

DO WHAT THE PROS DO.

GET YOURSELF SOME
CARDBOARD CAKE ROUNDS.

I BOUGHT THESE AT MY
LOCAL GROCERY STORE,

JUST FROM THE FOLKS
AT THE BAKERY COUNTER.

IT'S GOT A WAX SURFACE
SO THAT IT WON'T GET SOGGY.

YOU CAN JUST CUT THEM OUT
OF REGULAR CARDBOARD

AND COVER THEM
WITH A LITTLE BIT OF FOIL.

NOW WE'VE GOT A PLATTER
THAT WILL KEEP YOU

FROM HAVING TO LEAVE,
WELL, SAY, DISK ONE OF
KISS "ALIVE"

OVER AT YOUR IN-LAWS' HOUSE.

PLACE THAT ON THE CAKE,

AND...

NOTHING LEFT NOW
BUT THE SLICING.

OF COURSE, THE PROBLEM
WITH CHEESECAKE

IS THAT IT TENDS TO STICK
TO THE SIDE OF ANY KNIFE
THAT TRIES TO PENETRATE IT.

SO UNLESS YOU'VE GOT
A TUNGSTEN CUTTING WIRE
HANGING AROUND THE HOUSE,

YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO
USE THE KNIFE WITH THE LEAST
AMOUNT OF SIDE ON IT.

THIS IS A SALMON SLICER,
BUT YOU CAN USE ANYTHING
LONG AND THIN.

REGARDLESS OF THE KNIFE,

YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO WANT
TO DIP IT INTO HOT WATER
BEFORE MAKING THE CUT.

THAT WILL HELP IMMENSELY.

SINCE CHEESECAKE
IS PRETTY RICH,

I LIKE TO SLICE IT
PRETTY THIN,

SO MAKE THE FIRST CUT
FROM 12:00 TO 6:00.

YOU WANT TO GO STRAIGHT DOWN
AND THEN STRAIGHT OUT,

MAKING SURE YOU GO
THROUGH THE CRUST.

DIP IT AGAIN
AND WIPE IT.

YOU DON'T WANT ANY WATER
ON THE BLADE.

SECOND CUT FROM 9:00
TO 3:00.

STRAIGHT DOWN
AND OUT.

SAY, 1:00 TO 7:00.

STRAIGHT OUT.

NOW 2:00 TO 8:00.

STRAIGHT DOWN AND OUT.

STRAIGHT DOWN
AND STRAIGHT OUT.

AND THE FINAL CUT...

THIS WAY, YOU CAN HAVE
TWO PIECES

WITHOUT GIVING YOURSELF
A HEART ATTACK.

SO, TECHNICALLY,
WE'RE READY TO SERVE.

BUT...

REMEMBER, WE HAD
A LITTLE BIT OF CRUMBS
LEFT OVER.

SO JUST POP THOSE
IN A 350-DEGREE OVEN
FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES.

THEN YOU CAN DO THIS.

THERE.

NOW IT'S REALLY FINISHED.

OKAY, COME AND GET IT,
KIDS.

HEY, JEEPERS!

HEY, PATIENCE!
HEY!!

WHO KNEW THAT MY CREW
HAD EVEN WORSE MANNERS
THAN ELVIS?

NOW LET'S TALK A MOMENT
ABOUT INSURANCE.

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT TOO
CONFIDENT WITH YOUR
BAKING SKILLS,

OR MAYBE YOUR OVEN'S
KIND OF A LITTLE BIT
SCHIZOPHRENIC.

TAKE OUT SOME INSURANCE
BY SIMPLY ADDING A
TABLESPOON OF CORNSTARCH

TO THE BATTER WHEN
YOU ADD THE SUGAR.

SEE, THE STARCH MOLECULES
WILL ACTUALLY GET IN BETWEEN
THE EGG PROTEINS,

PREVENTING THEM
FROM OVER-COAGULATING.

NO OVER-COAGULATING,
NO CRACKS.

OF COURSE, IF YOU DO END UP
WITH A CAKE THAT'S CRACKED
ON TOP...

WHAT DO YOU THINK
WHIPPED CREAM IS FOR?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
IN LIGHT OF THE EVENTS
OF THE PAST HALF-HOUR,

IT SEEMS CLEAR THAT THE
INCLUSION OF CHEESECAKE
IN HEARTBREAK HALL

WAS ALL A TERRIBLE
MISUNDERSTANDING.

AFTER ALL, CHEESECAKE IS
NOTHING BUT A FEW BASIC,
WHOLESOME INGREDIENTS,

COMBINED BY A SIMPLE EQUATION
TO DELICIOUS RESULTS.

WHAT HORROR WILL COME
TO OCCUPY THIS NEW VACANCY?

PERHAPS WE'LL FIND OUT
THE NEXT TIME WE VISIT
THE FOOD GALLERY.

Captioned by
Scripps Networks, Inc.

AND OF COURSE, YOU WANT
TO CRUSH THEM.

HA, HA, HA!!