Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 5, Episode 11 - For Whom the Cheese Melts II - full transcript

(Alton Brown)
SO ELTON, I THOUGHT
WHILE YOU WERE HERE,

WE COULD CATCH A GAME
OR MAYBE CATCH
A COUPLE OF FISH.

YOU KNOW, IF WE HAD
TIME, WE COULD EVEN
SMOKE A COUPLE,

DOES THAT SOUND
LIKE FUN?

I DON'T KNOW,
UNCLE ALTON,

I'VE GOT THIS SCHOOL
PROJECT TO FINISH
BY MONDAY,

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN
STARTED ON IT YET.

OH YEAH, WELL YOU KNOW,
YOUR OL' UNCLE ALTON

IS PRETTY GOOD
AT SCHOOL PROJECTS.
THAT'S NOT WHAT
MOM SAYS.

OH YEAH, WELL WHAT WOULD
MY DEAR SISTER DO IF
SHE WERE HERE?

WELL, LAST MONTH
FOR GEOGRAPHY CLASS,



SHE MADE COOKIES FROM
ALL AROUND THE WORLD.

I GOT AN A,
AND EVERYONE LIKED ME

BECAUSE THEY GOT TO EAT
MY PROJECT.

WELL, WE CERTAINLY
CAN'T HAVE YOUR MOM
OUTDOING ME,

AND WE CAN'T HAVE HER
MESSING UP YOUR
EDUCATION EITHER.

WHAT'S YOUR TOPIC?
THE FOUNDING FATHERS --
YOU KNOW, GEORGE WASHINGTON,

CONTINENTAL CONGRESS,
YANKEE DOODLE...

YEAH, STUCK A FEATHER
IN HIS CAP AND CALLED
IT MACARONI.

WHY MACARONI?

THE SONG WAS WRITTEN BY
THE BRITISH TO RIDICULE
THE COLONISTS.

THE IMPLICATION WAS
THAT WE WERE SO CLUELESS
AND UNSOPHISTICATED

THAT WE WOULD STICK
A FEATHER IN OUR HAT

AND THINK THAT WE
WERE ALL DRESSED UP.

MACARONI WAS KIND OF
THE NAME OF THIS
FANCY DRESS-UP CLUB



IN LONDON AT THE TIME...
IT'S KIND OF
COMPLICATED.

SO WHAT DOES THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH
THE FOUNDING FATHERS?

WELL, ELTON, MY BOY,
THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

MACARONI...
MACARONI, YOU KNOW,

MACARONI AND CHEESE,
IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,

WAS ACTUALLY INVENTED
AT THE KITCHENS
AT MONTICELLO,

YOU KNOW, THE HOME
OF MR. DECLARATION
OF INDEPENDENCE,

THOMAS JEFFERSON, YOU'VE
HEARD OF THAT GUY,
RIGHT?
YEP.

WHAT'S MORE,
MACARONI AND CHEESE
IS KIND OF...

WELL, IT WAS
THE ORIGINAL
AMERICAN COMFORT FOOD,

WHICH IS KIND
OF IMPORTANT
BECAUSE...

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT'S A SYMBOL,
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

IT'S A SYMBOL OF
THE GREAT NATION THAT
THIS COUNTRY BECAME.

IT IS?
WELL, SURE.

THINK ABOUT IT,
AMERICA IS
A MELTING POT, RIGHT?

SO IS MACARONI
AND CHEESE.

YOU'VE GOT CURDS
AND NOODLES,

YOU'VE GOT CREAMY
AND CRUNCHY,
ALL THIS CONTRAST,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE,
THIS IS IT,

IT'S A GREAT TESTAMENT
TO YANKEE INGENUITY

BECAUSE YOU COOK IT
IN THE SAME POT
YOU SERVE IT IN.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT
ALL ADDS UP TO?
A D IN HISTORY?

ELTON, LET'S TRY
THAT ONE AGAIN, OKAY,

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
A DIFFERENT CUE.

YOU COMBINE HISTORY
WITH SOME REALLY GOOD
INGREDIENTS

AND SOME SCIENCE,
AND YOU GET...

OH YEAH, MOM TOLD ME
I HAD TO SAY THIS...
GOOD EATS.

YEAH, GOOD EATS...

DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

ELTON, I REALLY THINK
WE'RE ON TO SOMETHING

WITH THIS MACARONI
AND CHEESE BUSINESS

BECAUSE DESPITE
ITS DECLINE

AT THE HAND OF
POWER-CRAZED CHEFS
OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS,

IT REALLY IS AN ART FORM,
AND IT'S LOADED
WITH HISTORY.

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

NOW LIKE THE REST
OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS,

JEFFERSON LIVED DURING
SOME PRETTY TENSE TIMES.

REWRITES ON THE DECLARATION
OF INDEPENDENCE
WERE GETTING HIM DOWN,

THE NEW DOME HE HAD
DESIGNED FOR MONTICELLO
WAS LEAKING AGAIN,

AND WORST OF ALL,
HE'D SENT OFF TO ITALY
FOR A TUBE PASTA MAKER,

BUT INSTEAD, RECEIVED
A SPAGHETTI MACHINE.

NOW TRUE FOODIE
THAT HE WAS,

JEFFERSON SET ASIDE
ALL MATTERS OF STATE

AND SETTLED IN TO DESIGN
A MACARONI EXTRUDER
OF HIS OWN.

ONCE HE HAD A PROTOTYPE,
HIS COOK MADE UP
THE NOODLES,

BOILED THEM,
ADDED A CHEESE SAUCE,

TOSSED IN
SOME NEW YORK CHEDDAR,

AND BAKED THE WHOLE THING
IN AN EARTHENWARE DISH.

THE RESULT...
WELL, JEFFERSON FINALLY
HAD HIS COMFORT FOOD.

FROM THAT DAY ON,
THEY HAD HONEST-TO-GOODNESS
MAC AND CHEESE

AT MONTICELLO,
THE REST IS HISTORY.
NOT EXACTLY.

JEFFERSON DIDN'T
VISIT ITALY UNTIL 1807,

SO MACARONI AND CHEESE
COULDN'T BE A COMFORT
FOOD FOR THE FATHERS

AT THE TIME THEY
WERE FOUNDING.

BOY, YOU'RE GETTING
BOGGED DOWN IN DETAILS.

YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP
YOUR EYE ON THE BIGGER,
MORE MARKETABLE PICTURE.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
FOR YOUR PRESENTATION,

WE OUGHT TO DRESS
YOU UP LIKE THOMAS JEFFERSON.

YOU WANT ME TO GO
TO SCHOOL

WEARING STOCKINGS
AND A BOW IN MY HAIR?

THINK OF
THE EMOTIONAL SCARRING.

HMM, YEAH I GUESS
YOU'VE GOT A POINT THERE.

WELL, LISTEN, YOU JUST KEEP
TEARING THROUGH THOSE TEXTS
FOR TRUTH,

AND I'LL BE BACK
IN A FEW MINUTES.

OH, AND WATCH OUT
FOR THIS POT, WILL YOU?

UH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I'VE GOT A DATE
WITH A REAL DISH.

SINCE IT IS AN AMALGAM
OF INGREDIENTS --

MIXED, BAKED, AND SERVED
IN A SINGLE VESSEL,

MACARONI AND CHEESE
QUALIFIES AS A CASSEROLE.

NOW A CASSEROLE CAN BE
BAKED IN ALMOST ANYTHING
THAT IS WIDE AND LOW,

I MEAN, EVEN ONE
OF THESE GUYS,

BUT TRUTH IS THAT I'M
NOT A REAL BIG FAN OF METAL
FOR CASSEROLES

BECAUSE METAL IS SUCH
A GREAT CONDUCTOR OF HEAT.

SO GREAT IN FACT,
THAT IT USUALLY BURNS

THE SIDES AND BOTTOM
OF THE CASSEROLE

BEFORE THE REST OF IT
HAS TIME TO HEAT THROUGH.

THAT'S PROBABLY WHY
THE TRADITIONAL CASSEROLE
VESSEL OF CHOICE

IS CALLED --
GET THIS --

A CASSEROLE.

IN EUROPE, THEY'RE
ALMOST ALWAYS MADE
OF EARTHENWARE --

TERRACOTTA
AND STUFF LIKE THAT --

BUT I'M PROUD TO SAY
THAT MY PERSONAL FAVORITE
CASSEROLE MATERIALS

WERE BORN RIGHT HERE
IN THE GOOD OLD U.S.A.

FOR INSTANCE, PYREX,

THIS IS A HEAT-RESISTANT
GLASS

THAT WAS ORIGINALLY DEVELOPED
FOR USE IN RAILROAD LANTERNS.

IT WAS CONVERTED
INTO BAKEWARE ABOUT 1915,

BUT ITS PROUDEST MOMENTS
CAME IN THE '60s

WHEN IT WAS CHOSEN
AS THE WINDOW MATERIAL
FOR THE APOLLO SPACECRAFT.

(W)
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO DO, SEE YOURSELF?

NO, BUT I CAN'T HELP
BUT NOTICE THAT YOU

LOOK A LOT BETTER
THROUGH IT.

AND YOU LOOK BETTER
THROUGH THIS.
OH THANKS, I WAS
LOOKING FOR THAT.

CORNINGWARE --
DEVELOPED IN THE '50s
BY SCIENTISTS AT CORNING

WHEN THEY DISCOVERED
THAT IF THEY TOOK
PHOTOSENSITIVE GLASS

AND PUT IT IN A VERY,
VERY, VERY HOT FURNACE,

IT WOULD CONVERT INTO
AN OPAQUE, HEAT-RESISTANT,

AND EXTREMELY DURABLE
CERAMIC.

JUST ANOTHER HAPPY
ACCIDENT OF SCIENCE.

WHICH IS MORE THAN
YOUR MOTHER CAN SAY ABOUT YOU.
OH, NOW THAT HURTS.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE
ME TO WHERE

YOUR FAVORITE MACARONI
GEAR IS?
COME ON.

THAT WAS LOW.

FOR CASSEROLES,
I PREFER OPAQUE TO CLEAR.
HOW COME?

SINCE YOU CAN'T SEE THROUGH,
PEOPLE AT THE TABLE
WON'T SEE ANY SMUDGES,

SCRATCHES, OR STAINS
ON THE INSIDE.

WOW, YOU ARE MAKING
A STRICTLY COSMETIC
DECISION,

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD
IT IN YOU, W.

ANY PARTICULAR SIZES
OR SHAPES YOU LIKE?
ROUND BECAUSE IT
ELIMINATES DRY CORNERS.

AH, DRY CORNERS,
A VERY BIG DEAL
WITH CASSEROLES.

SEE, IF YOU WORK WITH
RECTANGULAR
OR SQUARE VESSEL,

THIS RIGHT ANGLE
MEANS THAT THE FOOD
RIGHT HERE

IS GOING TO GET ABOUT
TWICE AS MUCH HEAT
AS THE FOOD DOWN HERE,

THUS DRY CORNERS.

SO FROM NOW ON, WE WILL
STICK WITH ROUND OR OVAL
FOR MAC AND CHEESE,

UNLESS OF COURSE,
YOU LIKE DRY CORNERS.

THANKS, W, GOTTA GO,
MY NEPHEW IS WAITING ON ME.

OH, THINK OF
THE EMOTIONAL SCARRING.

NOW THAT WE'VE GOT
THE RIGHT DISH IN HAND,

IT'S TIME TO FIND
THE RIGHT NOODLE.

A MACARONI NOODLE?
WELL, YES AND NO.

YOU SEE, MACARONI REFERS
TO ANY SEMOLINA AND WATER
PASTA

THAT DOESN'T HAVE
EGGS IN IT.

THERE ARE HUNDREDS...
NO STRIKE THAT,

THOUSANDS OF SHAPES
AND SIZES TO CHOOSE FROM,

AND WHEN IT COMES
TO THIS DISH,
SHAPE MATTERS.

IT'S BECOME
VERY POPULAR LATELY,

FOR CHEFS TO USE
REALLY BIG TUBES,

THINGS LIKE RIGATONI
AND PENNE AND FUSILLI

AND EVEN SHAPES
LIKE FARFALLE,

WHICH IS REALLY SILLY
BECAUSE FARFALLE
HAS GOT EGG IN IT,

SO IT'S NOT
EVEN MACARONI.

NOPE, WHEN IT COMES
TO MACARONI AND CHEESE,

I GO WITH THE TRADITIONAL
ELBOW NOODLE.

NOW TAKE A LOOK AT THAT,
SEE THE SIZE OF THAT HOLE?

THAT IS THE PERFECT SIZE
FOR LETTING IN JUST A LITTLE
MELTED CHEESE SAUCE,

BUT NOT SO MUCH THAT
THE NOODLE COLLAPSES.

CHECK OUT THE ANGLE
OF THAT BEND.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT IS,
35 TO 40 DEGREES?

WHAT THAT MEANS IS THAT
THE NOODLES ARE GONNA
INTERLOCK WITH EACH OTHER

WHEN THEY COOK,

AND THAT IS GOING
TO PRODUCE A COMPACT,
SLICEABLE PRODUCT,

WHICH IS EXACTLY
WHAT WE WANT.

SO DROP THAT
AND TAKE THESE.

NEXT UP, WE'VE GOT
TO FIND THE RIGHT CHEESE.

ELTON, THE WORLD
IS FULL OF GREAT
MELTING CHEESES --

FONTINA, GOUDA,
GRUYERE --

BUT I ONLY KNOW OF
ONE CHEESE THAT'S GOT
THE BACKBONE AND BITE

NEEDED TO STAND UP
TO THE BLANDNESS
OF MACARONI.

DO YOU MEAN
THE ORANGE STUFF?
ORANGE STUFF...

WELL, IF BY THE ORANGE
STUFF YOU MEAN
ENGLISH CHEDDAR,

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT.

DID YOU KNOW THE WORD
CHEDDAR ACTUALLY REFERS
TO THE PROCESS

BY WHICH THEY CUT
THE FRESH BLOCKS
OF CHEESE

AND STACK THEM UP
ON EACH OTHER

AND LET THE WEIGHT
NATURALLY SQUEEZE
OUT THE EXTRA WHEY?

THE RESULT IS
A VERY FIRM TEXTURE

AND A VERY, VERY GOOD
MELTER, I MIGHT ADD.

IT ALSO REFERS
TO THE TOWN OF CHEDDAR

WHERE CHEDDAR
WAS FIRST CHEDDARED.

NOW WE'RE GONNA NEED
12 OUNCES OF
THIS GRATED,

SO GET TO WORK, OKAY?
UH, WHY CAN'T WE
JUST USE THIS,

IT'S ALREADY GRATED.
YES, IT'S ALREADY
GRATED,

BUT IT'S FOR...
SOMETHING ELSE.

NOW GO AHEAD
AND GET TO WORK,
YOU NEED THE EXPERIENCE.

AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
IT WILL GO A LOT FASTER
WHEN IT'S COLD.

OFF YOU GO,
OFF YOU GO.

HEE, HEE...
I KNEW I'D GET
SOME WORK OUT OF HIM.

FINALLY, I AM DONE WITH
THAT CHEESE YOU WANTED
ME TO GRATE.

GREAT...
HA, GREAT...
NEVER MIND.

YOU MUST BE PLANNING
TO COOK A LOT
OF NOODLES.

NOPE, ONLY
HALF A POUND --

THAT'S TWO CUPS DRY
TO YOU AND ME.

I NEVER, EVER, EVER
COOK PASTA UNLESS I BOIL

AN ENTIRE GALLON
OF WATER.
WHY SO MUCH WATER?

WELL, PASTA NEEDS ROOM
TO MOVE AROUND IF IT IS
GOING TO COOK EVENLY.

IT NEEDS ROOM TO EXPAND,
IT NEEDS ROOM TO RELEASE
STARCH.

HEY, DIDN'T YOU WATCH
OUR PASTA SHOW?

UH, MY MOM DOESN'T LET
ME WATCH YOUR SHOW.

REMEMBER WHEN I WAS
TALKING ABOUT
THOSE LITTLE TUBES

STAYING OPEN ENOUGH
SO THAT YOU COULD GET

A BITE OF CHEESE OUT OF
IT, REMEMBER THAT?
YEAH.

WELL, IF THIS NOODLE
OVERCOOKS,

IT WILL MUSH FLAT
WHEN WE BUILD OUR
CASSEROLE,

AND YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO GET THAT.

SO I'M GOING TO BRING
THIS BACK TO A BOIL,

THEN WE'LL TURN THE HEAT
DOWN TO MEDIUM AND LET
IT COOK FOR SIX MINUTES.

NT A MINUTE MORE,
NOT A MINUTE LESS.
OKAY.

YOU NEVER WATCH IT?
NOPE, SORRY.

AS SOON AS YOUR TIMER
GOES OFF,

CAREFULLY DRAIN
YOUR PASTA, ALWAYS
AWAY FROM YOU, ELTON,

ALWAYS AWAY FROM YOU.

GIVE IT A QUICK BATH
IN COLD WATER.

WHY COLD WATER?
WELL, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW,
IT IS PERFECTLY COOKED,

AND WE WANT TO KEEP
IT THAT WAY.

BY PUTTING
COLD WATER ON IT,

WE'LL STOP
THE COOKING PROCESS.
SURE.

OKAY, THAT WILL DO IT,
YOU CAN TURN IT OFF.

NOW WE DON'T WANT IT
TO WATERLOG, EITHER,

SO WE'LL SHAKE
SOME OF THAT OFF.

NOW TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS.

THAT IS PERFECTLY
WHAT I'LL CALL
SUPER AL DENTE.

THAT WILL STAND UP TO
ABOUT ANY CHEESE SAUCE
WE'D EVER WANT TO USE.

MMM, THERE YOU GO.
THANKS.

NOW LET'S GET
TO THAT SAUCE.

YOU SEE, ELTON, IT TAKES
MORE THAN MACARONI
AND CHEESE

TO MAKE MACARONI
AND CHEESE.
WHY'S THAT?

BECAUSE IF WE JUST COOK
THAT STUFF TOGETHER
WITH THAT STUFF,

IT WILL END UP LOOKING
LIKE THIS STUFF.

THAT'S NOT GOOD EATS.
GOOD CALL.

SO WHAT WE NEED IS
TO BRING THESE THINGS
TOGETHER

WITH A KIND OF
EDIBLE GLUE.
LIKE LIBRARY PASTE?

KIND OF LIKE
LIBRARY PASTE,

BUT MAYBE SOMETHING
THAT TASTES A LITTLE
BETTER THAN THAT.

COME ON, YOU'VE GOT
SOME WHISKING TO DO.

OH BOTHER.

FIRST STEP IS TO MELT
THREE TABLESPOONS OF
BUTTER OVER MEDIUM HEAT.

WE'RE GONNA WAIT
AND LET IT FINISH
BUBBLING AND FOAMING

SO THAT THE WATER
IS ALL OUT OF IT.

AFTER THAT, WE'RE GOING
TO WHISK IN EXACTLY
THE SAME AMOUNT,

THREE TABLESPOONS
OF FLOUR.

GO AHEAD, TAP THAT
IN THERE.

SO THIS IS THE GLUE?
WELL, IT IS GOING
TO MAKE THE GLUE.

IT DOESN'T TURN INTO
GLUE UNTIL WE'VE GOT IT
COMPLETELY WHISKED IN,

AND WE'VE GOT TO LET
IT COOK FOR A LITTLE
WHILE.

IN FACT, ONCE WE'VE
GOT THIS SMOOTH,

WE'RE GONNA COOK
IT OVER LOW HEAT

UNTIL IT IS THE COLOR
OF...

WELL, ABOUT THE COLOR
OF YOUR HAIR.

NOW THAT LOOKS LIKE
LIBRARY PASTE.

YES, BUT IT'S NOT
GOING TO TASTE
LIKE LIBRARY PASTE

BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING
TO ADD A TABLESPOON
OF DRY MUSTARD POWDER.

JUST DUMP THAT RIGHT
IN HERE.

AND HALF A TEASPOON
OF PAPRIKA --
THAT'S THE RED STUFF.

PERFECT, GOOD, GOOD.

AND HALF A CUP
OF CHOPPED ONIONS,
RIGHT IN THERE.

AND ONE BAY LEAF,
PERFECT.

WE'RE ALSO GONNA ADD IN
A TEASPOON OF
KOSHER SALT.

THERE YOU GO, KIND
OF SHAKE IT TO
LEVEL IT OFF.

THERE YOU GO,
DUMP THAT IN, PERFECT.

NOW WE'RE GONNA
BRING THAT TOGETHER
INTO KIND OF A PASTE.

OKAY, NOW SLOWLY POUR
IN THREE CUPS OF MILK.

IT'S GONNA STEAM
A LITTLE, SO WATCH
YOUR ARM, OKAY?

THERE YOU GO, RIGHT DOWN
IN THE MIDDLE.

THERE, NICE AND SLOW.

I'M GONNA WHISK
THE ENTIRE TIME,
KEEP GOING.

GREAT.

NOW HERE'S THE THING,
THAT FLOUR IS NOT GOING
TO THICKEN THIS SAUCE

UNTIL IT ALMOST
COMES TO A BOIL, RIGHT,

SO YOU'VE GOT
SOME WHISKING TO DO.
OKAY.

I'LL BE BACK.

SO HOW'S THAT?
THAT IS PERFECT,

BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
LET'S GET
THE BAY LEAF OUT.

THAT'S A LITTLE CHEWY,
EVEN FOR ME.

SO WHAT'S THE EGG FOR?
THAT'S A LITTLE BIT
OF A SECRET INGREDIENT.

IT'S GONNA ADD
SOME RICHNESS,
EXTRA CREAMINESS.

BUT WE CAN'T ADD IT
DIRECTLY TO THE SAUCE

BECAUSE IT IS HOT,
AND IT WILL TURN THIS
INTO SCRAMBLED EGGS.

SO TAKE YOUR LITTLE
SPOON THERE

AND JUST PUT ABOUT
A TABLESPOON OR TWO
OF THAT INTO HERE.

THAT WILL INCREASE
THE TEMPERATURE SLOWLY,
WHICH IS WHAT WE NEED.

THERE YOU GO.

GOOD, GOOD, ONE MORE.

THERE SEE, IT'S STARTING
TO THICKEN, GREAT.

OKAY, NOW YOU STIR,
AND I'LL POUR IT RIGHT
BACK IN THERE.

IT'S CALLED TEMPERING,
AND YOU DO IT WITH
A LOT OF SAUCES.

WHISK FAST.

GREAT, NOW THE LAST
INGREDIENT IS
OF COURSE...

THE CHEESE.
THE CHEESE, BUT WE'RE
ONLY GONNA ADD ABOUT
3/4 OF IT.

WE'VE GOTTA SAVE
SOME FOR THE TOP...
KEEP STIRRING.

NOW ONCE WE'VE GOT
THAT ALL WORKED IN,

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS
FOLD IN OUR NOODLES AND
ADD TO THE CASSEROLE.

NOW LAST, BUT NOT LEAST,
A LAYER OF JAPANESE
BREADCRUMBS.

WHY JAPANESE?
WELL, BECAUSE THEY ARE
VERY, VERY COARSE,

AND SO THEY ARE GOING
TO BROWN UP A LOT
CRISPER.

HAND ME THAT MELTED
BUTTER OVER THERE,
WILL YOU?

I'VE GOT A CUP OF THESE
AND A QUARTER CUP
OF THIS.

NOW THE BUTTER IS
GOING TO HELP
THEM TO BROWN,

AND BROWN MEANS CRISP,
AND CRISP IS A LOT OF
WHAT THIS DISH IS ABOUT.

IT'S ABOUT CONTRAST
BETWEEN A CRUNCHY TOP
AND A CREAMY INTERIOR.

I'M GOING TO SMEAR
THOSE ON THE TOP.

THERE.

NOW HALF AN HOUR
IN A 350-DEGREE OVEN.

SOON, COOKIES
OF THE WORLD WILL BE
LONG FORGOTTEN.

UH, UNCLE ALTON,
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
NOBODY.

MMM...
MMMM!

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, IT'S GOOD,
BUT I CAN'T TAKE
IT TO SCHOOL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, THIS IS THE BEST
MACARONI AND CHEESE

THIS SIDE OF
A CHURCH SOCIAL.

WELL, YOU SEE,
MY FRIENDS AND I
LIKE THE KIND FROM A BOX.

YOU REALLY KNOW HOW
TO HURT A GUY.
SORRY, UNCLE ALTON.

I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE SORRY.

BUT OKAY, IF YOU'VE
GOT TO HAVE STOVETOP
MACARONI, WE'LL MAKE IT,

AND IT WILL BE
50 TIMES BETTER
THAN THE BOX,

BUT YOU'VE GOT
TO DO THE WORK, DEAL?
OKAY, DEAL.

LET'S GO.

NOW THAT'S GOOD EATS.

THIS IS THE BEST DAY
I'VE EVER HAD --

TOURING A REFRIGERATOR
FACTORY AND BOWLING,
TOO,

ALL IN ONE AFTERNOON.

YEP, YOUR OL' UNCLE ALTON
KNOWS A LITTLE SOMETHING
ABOUT HAVING FUN.

HEY, YOU HUNGRY
OVER THERE?
WHAT'RE YOU MAKING?

SOMETHING SPECIAL,
MY BOY, FRIED MACARONI
AND CHEESE, IT'S EASY.

ALL WE DO IS TAKE
THE MAC AND CHEESE
WE BAKED YESTERDAY

AND TURN IT OVER
A COUPLE TIMES

IN SOME FLOUR THAT'S
GOT A LITTLE CAYENNE PEPPER
IN IT, JUST FOR FUN,

DUST IT OFF,
KNOCK IT INTO
A LITTLE BIT OF BEATEN EGG,

OKAY, YOU GOT THAT?

AND THEN INTO SOME OF
THOSE JAPANESE BREADCRUMBS.

JUST KIND OF PACK
THOSE ON ALL AROUND
LIKE THAT.

WHAT I LIKE TO DO
IS USE THIS THING
CALLED A SPIDER,

THIS LITTLE WIRE
GUY RIGHT HERE,

AND WE JUST PUT
THAT ON THERE

AND DROP IT INTO
357-DEGREE OIL.

IN JUST A FEW MINUTES,

IT COMES OUT GOLDEN-BROWN
AND DELICIOUS.

WHY DON'T YOU PUT
A LITTLE KOSHER SALT
ON THERE,

AND I'LL HIT YOU
WITH A LITTLE PEPPER SAUCE.

GREAT, AND YOU'VE GOT
A DELICIOUS TREAT.

HEART ATTACK ON A PLATE.

I HADN'T REALLY THOUGHT
ABOUT IT THAT WAY.

LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRUG IN.

WHERE'S THAT
BOY OF MINE?

WHAT ARE YOU EATING?
HI, MOM, FRIED
MAC AND CHEESE, WANT SOME?

YEAH, SIS, IT'S FOR
SCHOOL RESEARCH.

(Marsha)
IS THAT RIGHT?
WE LEARNED THAT BY MAKING
A BéCHAMEL SAUCE,

WE CAN USE STARCH
TO BIND OUR
MACARONI AND CHEESE

TO A CUSTARD
THAT WON'T CURDLE.

AND THERE'S A REASON WHY
ELBOW NOODLES ARE
A HISTORICALLY POPULAR PASTA

FOR THE JOB.

AND GUESS WHAT, MOM,
YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN
STOVETOP VERSION

WITH MILK IN A CAN.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE
THAT BOXED STUFF ANYMORE.

HONEY, YOU KNOW
GOOD AND WELL I DON'T
MAKE MACARONI AND CHEESE

FROM A BOX.
OH, SURE YOU DO.

OKAY, SHH, LET'S TALK
ABOUT THAT LATER.

SIS, WHY DON'T YOU TRY
ONE OF THESE,

I THINK YOU'LL
FIND IT'S BETTER
THAN THE BOX STUFF

THAT SOME OTHER PEOPLE USE.
MMM, GOOD GRACIOUS.

NO, MOM, GOOD EATS.
GOOD BOY YOU GOT THERE.

Captioned by
Scripps Networks, Inc.