Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 4, Episode 5 - Ham I Am - full transcript

Alton Brown looks into Country and City Hams. Whether its cured, smoked, raw, brined or fresh, he gets the juices flowing for some good old American ham.

(Alton Brown)
AND THAT IS HOW
A WHITE TURNIP

(drum roll)
IS MAGICALLY
CONVERTED INTO...

A RED TURNIP...
(audience)
BOO!

AND THAT'S
THE END OF THE SHOW.

HEY, YOU'VE BEEN
A REALLY GREAT AUDIENCE.

I'M GOING TO TAKE
A LITTLE BREAK,

BUT I'LL BE BACK
IN 20 MINUTES WITH
MORE FANTASTIC FOOD MAGIC.

FOOD...
AH, PLEBEIANS!

I DON'T KNOW.

SO YOU DON'T BELIEVE
THAT FOOD'S MAGIC, HUH?

OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.



TELL ME THIS....
HOW ELSE, BUT BY MAGIC,

COULD A PLAIN, ORDINARY
PITCHER OF COW JUICE

CONVERT ITSELF,

WONDERFULLY AND MAGICALLY,
INTO...

A ROUND OF
CAMEMBERT CHEESE!

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S MOSTLY
BACTERIA THAT DOES THAT,

BUT... OH, OH,
OKAY, OKAY, I KNOW, I KNOW!

HOW ABOUT...

POPCORN!

POPCORN...
HOW ELSE BUT BY
THE POWERS OF MAGIC

COULD THESE TINY,
LITTLE, HARD BEADS

POSSIBLY CONVERT THEMSELVES

INTO GIANT PILES OF WHITE,
FLUFFY GOODNESS!

EXCEPT BY MAGIC...
SORRY ABOUT THAT.



(sighing)
ALL RIGHT,
SO THAT'S MOSTLY...

PRESSURE FROM WATER VAPOR,
ALL RIGHT.

OH, I KNOW,
I KNOW, I KNOW!

HAM!

HOW ELSE BUT BY MAGIC
COULD THIS COMMON,

LOWLY, EVERYDAY LEG OF PIG

CONVERT ITSELF
INTO A RICH, LUSCIOUS,

DELICIOUS, FRAGRANT,

WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL,
FRAGRANT,

DID I MENTION
RIDICULOUSLY DELICIOUS...

(applauding)
HAM!

ALL RIGHT,
SO THERE'S SOME OSMOSIS,

CHEMISTRY, SMOKE,
AND TIME INVOLVED, BUT HEY,

ANYTIME YOU CAN FEED
20 PEOPLE FOR A BUCK A HEAD,

I SAY THAT'S MAGIC.

BESIDES, IF YOU'RE
WILLING TO TRY OUT

A FEW SPELLS OF YOUR OWN,

YOU'LL FIND THAT HAM
IS NOT ONLY MAGIC,

BUT IT'S GOOD EATS.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL ADMIT
THERE'S NOTHING
REALLY MAGICAL

ABOUT MY FAVORITE
PORCINE PREPARATION,

BUT I WILL TELL YOU
THAT IT'LL HELP

IF YOU KNOW
THE LAY OF THE HAM.

OKAY, UP HERE
YOU'VE GOT THE LOIN,

ALL CHOPS
OR A REALLY GOOD ROAST
RIGHT THERE.

DOWN HERE
YOU'VE GOT THE BELLY.

THAT'S WHERE
THE BACON COMES FROM.

UP HERE, THE SHOULDER
OR BOSTON BUTT...

THAT IS THE HOME
OF FINE BARBEQUE.

RIGHT BELOW THAT, YOU'VE GOT
THE PICNIC SHOULDER,

ALSO KNOWN AS
THE PICNIC HAM.

IT CAN BE SMOKED AND CURED,

BUT DO NOT EVER CONFUSE IT
WITH THE TRUE HAM,

WHICH RUNS FROM
THE AITCH BONE UP HERE,

DOWN TO THE SHANK.
ALL THE WAY

THIS STUFF IS REAL MAGIC.

WHERE DID IT GO...
I DON'T KNOW.

IF YOU WERE TO TAKE
THIS FRESH, OR GREEN,
HAM HOME AND COOK IT,

YOU'D END UP WITH
A REALLY GREAT ROAST,

BUT IT WOULDN'T TASTE
ANY MORE LIKE HAM,

THAN GRAPE JUICE DOES
FINE BURGUNDY.

NOW WE CAN JUICE
THIS ANALOGY EVEN FURTHER

BECAUSE THIS
CAN BE PROCESSED

INTO NEARLY AS MANY
DISTINCT FINAL FORMS

AS THIS.

IN FACT, EVEN
THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

RECOGNIZES FOUR DISTINCT
HAM CLASSIFICATIONS.

THE UNITED STATES
DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE

RECOGNIZES FOUR CLASSIFICATIONS
OF PROCESSED HAM,

EACH DEFINED BY ITS
WATER-TO-PROTEIN RATIO.

A HAM CONTAINING AT LEAST
20.5 PERCENT PROTEIN

AND NO ADDED WATER

MAY BEAR THE LABEL "HAM."

A HAM CONTAINING NO LESS
THAN 18.5 PERCENT PROTEIN

MAY BE LABELED
"HAM IN NATURAL JUICE."

SUCH HAMS ARE USUALLY SOLD
ON THE BONE

THAT MAY BE EITHER
FULLY OR PARTIALLY COOKED
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.

IF HAM CONTAINS UP TO
10 PERCENT ADDED WATER

WHILE MAINTAINING AT LEAST
17 PERCENT PROTEIN,

IT MUST BE LABELED AS
"HAM, WATER ADDED."

MANY READY-TO-SERVE
SPIRAL-SLICED HAMS

FALL INTO THIS CATEGORY.

HAMS LABELED AS
"HAM AND WATER PRODUCT,"

CAN LEGALLY CONTAIN
MORE WATER THAN HAM,

AND ARE USUALLY BONED,
RECONSTITUTED,

AND MOLDED OR TUMBLED
INTO A HAM-LIKE SHAPE.

HAM-LIKE SHAPE...
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

IF, AFTER CURING, SMOKING,
BRINING, AND COOKING,

A HAM'S WEIGHT EXCEEDS
ITS ORIGINAL GREEN WEIGHT,

IT MUST BE LABELED
ACCORDING TO
THE AMOUNT OF WATER

THAT HAS BEEN ADDED,
AND NO SIR,
WE NEVER KID.

OKAY, OKAY...
SETTLE DOWN.

THESE MAY ALL
CALL THEMSELVES HAM,

BUT THE SIMILARITY
REALLY ENDS THERE.

LET ME SAY THAT
WHEN I SEE A PIG
GROW A LEG SHAPED LIKE THIS,

I'LL CONSIDER EATING A HAM
THAT'S SHAPED LIKE THIS,

BUT NOT A MINUTE BEFORE.

BESIDES,
MOST RECONSTITUTED HAMS

HAVE BEEN SPEED-PICKLED
VIA INJECTION

WITH SOMETHING
THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS.

YUCK!

ALSO, I'M KIND OF DUBIOUS
ABOUT ANY HAM LACKING
A SKELETAL COMPONENT.

EVEN IF BONES DIDN'T ADD
TO THE FLAVOR OF THE HAM

AND MAKE TERRIFIC
SEASONING AGENTS LATER ON

FOR SOUPS, GREENS,
BEANS, AND THE LIKE,

I'D STILL BE TROUBLED
BY THE QUESTION

OF ONCE THE BONES ARE GONE,

WHAT HOLDS THIS TOGETHER?

COULD IT BE ERA-THOR...

OH, I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT!

NOW BY FAR
THE LARGEST GROUP
OF MARKET HAMS

ARE REFERRED TO
AS CITY HAMS.

NOW WHETHER
THEY'RE "WATER ADDED"

OR IN "NATURAL JUICE,"

THESE HAMS ARE PARTIALLY
CURED IN A SWEET BRINE

BEFORE BEING LIGHTLY SMOKED
AND COOKED.

THESE ARE MILD-MANNERED
CROWD-PLEASING HAMS,

WHICH MAKE UP FOR
THEIR LACK OF DEPTH

WITH A USER-FRIENDLY
VERSATILITY.

NOW CITY HAMS USUALLY COME IN
ONE OF TWO DIFFERENT HALVES.

NOW THIS IS A SHANK END,

AND HERE IS A RUMP END,
RIGHT HERE.

NOW THIS LOOKS LIKE
IT MIGHT BE EASIER TO CARVE

AND THEREFORE
A BETTER VALUE,

BUT THERE'S A LOT OF
CONNECTIVE TISSUE IN THERE,

SO I SKIP IT AND STICK WITH
THE SHANK END.

COUNTRY HAMS
ARE A WHOLE OTHER FOOD.

FIRST, THEY ARE RUBBED,
OR PACKED, IN A DRY CURE

COMPOSED OF SALT,
SODIUM NITRATE,

AND SOMETIMES,
SUGAR AND PEPPER.

AFTER THAT THEY'RE HUNG,
SOMETIMES FOR MONTHS,

SOMETIMES WITH SMOKE,
SOMETIMES WITHOUT.

DURING THAT TIME,
THE SALT PULLS MOISTURE
OUT OF THE HAM,

LEAVING IT
A BACTERIAL DESERT,

NOT TO MENTION
A WHOLE LOT LIGHTER

THAN IT WAS
WHEN IT STARTED.

THE RESULTING FLAVOR
IS AMAZINGLY COMPLEX.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE
A SMALL-BATCH BOURBON

AND THE TEXTURE
HAS BEEN COMPARED
TO FINE, AGED CHEDDAR.

HOW IS IT THAT
COUNTRY HAMS CAN LAUGH
IN THE FACE OF REFRIGERATION

WITHOUT ILL EFFECT?

BECAUSE THEY
ARE DEHYDRATED,
BIOLOGICAL SALTLICKS.

HIBERNATING MUDSKIPPERS...
MUMMIES, IF YOU LIKE.

AND MUMMIES
JUST AREN'T KNOWN
FOR THEIR GOOD LOOKS.

OF COURSE, IF YOU'D BEEN
PACKED IN SALT

AND HUNG UP IN A SACK
FOR A YEAR OR TWO,

YOU'D PROBABLY NEED
A LONG SOAK TOO,

AND THAT IS ALL
THAT THIS NEEDS.

BUT... WE'VE GOT THIS
HOCK DOWN HERE.

NOW I ADMIT THAT MAKES
A VERY RESPECTABLE HANDLE,

BUT IN THE WORLD
OF KITCHEN CURRENCY,

THIS HAS HIGHER VALUE
ELSEWHERE,

SUCH AS A BIG OL' POT
OF COLLARD GREENS,

SO ASK YOUR BUTCHER
TO TAKE IT OFF

OR TAKE MATTERS
INTO YOUR OWN HANDS.

AH, THERE WE GO.

NOW WE'LL FREEZE THAT
AND USE IT LATER.

AS FOR THIS,
WELL, IT NEEDS TO SOAK,

BUT I DON'T HAVE
A POT THIS BIG,

BUT I DO HAVE...

A COOLER.

IT'S EVEN GOT A LITTLE DRAIN
RIGHT HERE ON THE BOTTOM

FOR EASY WATER CHANGES.

NOW WHY WOULD I WANT
TO GIVE A HAM A BATH?

WELL, THE SAME REASON
WE BRINED THAT TURKEY

IN OUR PULITZER-WINNING EPISODE
"ROMANCING THE BIRD,"

ONLY BACKWARDS.

IMAGINE, IF YOU WILL...

THAT THIS NIGHTSPOT
IS OUR HAM,

AND IT'S PACKED WITH SALT,
PLAYED BY THESE
DORKY-LOOKING GUYS.

NOW WE WANT THAT SALT
OUT OF THERE,

BUT WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO GO IN AND GET IT.

THAT MEANS GETTING PAST
THIS CELL MEMBRANE,

WHICH IS A KIND OF
BIOLOGICAL BOUNCER.

LUCKY FOR US,
HE'S GOT A WEAKNESS FOR
BALANCED OSMOTIC PRESSURE,

SO HE'LL HAPPILY LET WATER,

PLAYED BY
THESE LOVELY LADIES,
SLIDE RIGHT ON BY.

WHEN THEY COME OUT
LATER ON,
THEY'VE GOT SALT IN TOW.

OF COURSE, IF WE WANT TO
GET MORE SALT OUT,

WE'LL HAVE TO SEND
MORE WATER IN.

WHICH IS WHY
I'LL CHANGE THIS WATER

TWICE A DAY
FOR TWO DAYS...
THAT LOOKS GOOD.

BY THE WAY,
IF YOU'RE GOING TO
DO THIS OUTSIDE,

BE SURE TO STASH YOUR COOLER
IN THE BUSHES,

ELSE SOMEBODY'S
GOING TO STEAL YOUR HAM

AND HOCK IT...
NEVER MIND!

WHAT DOES OUR COUNTRY HAM
HAVE IN COMMON
WITH FORREST GUMP?

(in Forrest Gump voice)
IT'S GONNA DRINK
ABOUT 13 DR. PEPPERS.

WELL, MAYBE NOT 13,

BUT CERTAINLY ENOUGH
TO COME 1/2 TO 2/3
UP THE SIDE

OF THIS DISPOSABLE
ALUMINUM ROASTING PAN.

NOW YOU CAN USE ANY
FLAVORFUL LIQUID YOU LIKE...

APPLE JUICE, WINE,
COLA, BEER, WHATEVER.

I TEND TO THINK
SWEETER IS BETTER,

AND YOU KNOW, THE DR.
JUST BRINGS A CERTAIN...

TWANG TO THE PARTY.

OF COURSE, IF YOU HAD SOME
SWEET-PICKLE JUICE ON HAND --

SWEET --
YOU COULD BRING
THAT ON, TOO.

NEXT, WE NEED A TENT

MADE FROM TWO PIECES
OF WIDE ALUMINUM FOIL,

CRIMPED TOGETHER
DOWN THE MIDDLE.

THAT'S GOING TO LOOK
KIND OF LIKE SOMETHING
THAT FELL OFF OF MIR.

NOW JUST CRIMP THAT
ONTO THE EDGES OF THE PAN,

ALL THE WAY AROUND.

GET A GOOD SEAL,
BUT DON'T PUSH DOWN
ON THE HAM.

WE'RE NOT
TRYING TO WRAP IT,
WE'RE TRYING TO TENT IT,

GIVE IT AN ENVIRONMENT

WHERE THE HEAT AND MOISTURE
CAN CIRCULATE AROUND.

THERE... GOOD SEAL...

AND INTO A 400-DEGREE OVEN

FOR 1/2 HOUR.

NOW WHEN THAT'S UP,
DROP THE OVEN TEMPERATURE
TO 325,

AND COOK FOR
ANOTHER 1 1/2 HOURS.

THEN PULL
THE WHOLE THING OUT,

TAKE OFF THE FOIL
AND FLIP THE HAM OVER,

SO THAT THE DR.
CAN GET TO WORK

ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE HAM.

COVER IT BACK UP,
PUT IT IN,

AND THEN, INSERT THE PROBE
OF YOUR PROBE THERMOMETER

INTO THE DEEPEST PART
OF THE HAM,

AND SET
YOUR TARGET TEMPERATURE
FOR 140 DEGREES.

NOW IF YOU DON'T
HAVE ONE OF THESE,

IT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU'RE A BAD PERSON.

IT JUST MEANS
YOU'LL HAVE TO COME BACK
EVERY 1/2 HOUR

AND CHECK THE TEMPERATURE
BY HAND.

HOW LONG IS IT
GOING TO TAKE IN THE END?

WELL, THAT DEPENDS...

(beeping sound)

AH, WE HAVE HAM.

NOW IF ALL HAS GONE WELL,

WE WILL HAVE
A DARK, MAHOGANY BEAUTY.

AH... THERE,
THERMOMETER OUT.

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH...

AH, THERE WE GO,
MIR WON'T BE USING
THAT ANYMORE.

NOW THAT LOOKS GREAT.

YOU NOTICE THAT THE MEAT,

WHICH USED TO BE
ALL THE WAY UP
TO THE LEVEL OF THE BONE,

HAS DRAWN UP,

SO IT'S REALLY PLUMPED UP
AND GOTTEN JUICY.

IN FACT... YEP,
SEE HOW LOOSE THAT BONE IS?

THAT'S WHAT THE OLD-TIMERS
WOULD USE AS KIND OF
A POP-UP THERMOMETER.

THIS IS
MORE THAN READY TO GO,

BUT IT NEEDS TO REST
FOR ABOUT 1/2 HOUR

BEFORE WE CARVE.

THAT'S GOING TO GIVE US
JUST ENOUGH TIME

TO BONE UP
ON PORCINE ANATOMY.

HERE IS OUR HAM.

THIS OF COURSE,
IS THE RUMP END,

THIS IS THE SHANK END.

THIS LITTLE CRITTER RIGHT HERE
IS CALLED THE AITCH BONE,

AND IT IS A VERY
INCONVENIENT BONE
TO HAVE TO GET AROUND.

IT IS CONNECTED
TO THE LEG BONE,

THE LEG BONE'S
CONNECTED TO KNEE BONE,

THE KNEE BONE'S
CONNECTED TO THE SHANK,

THE SHANK BONE'S
CONNECTED TO...

WELL, IT WOULD BE CONNECTED
TO THE FOOT BONE,

ONLY THIS LITTLE PIGGY
DIDN'T MAKE IT TO THE MARKET
WITH ITS TROTTERS INTACT.

NOW HERE'S OUR STRATEGY,
WE'RE GOING TO HARVEST
MOST OF OUR SLICES

FROM THE BOTTOM 2/3
OF THE HAM,

STARTING FROM THE SHANK END
AND MOVING OUR WAY UPWARDS.

THAT WAY WE WILL AVOID
THE AITCH BONE,

AND ITS BLADE-CONFOUNDING
CONFIGURATION.

HERE WE HAVE THE KNEE.

I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE
A CHUNK OFF OF THE RUMP,

RIGHT ABOVE THE KNEECAP.

NOW WE'VE GOT KIND OF
A NICE PLATFORM TO WORK.

I'M GOING TO COME BACK ABOUT
ONE INCH FROM THE SHANK

AND TAKE OUT A WEDGE.

NOW JUST FOLLOW THIS ANGLE.

USE IT ALMOST AS A TEMPLATE
FOR SLICING ALL THE WAY BACK

TO THE DREADED AITCH BONE.

JUST REMEMBER,
WHATEVER YOU DO,

COUNTRY HAM IS STRONG JUJU,

SO SLICE THINLY.

NOW BESIDES THE
TRADITIONAL APPLICATIONS --

MY FAVORITE OF WHICH
IS BISCUITS AND HAM --

YOU CAN BASICALLY USE THIS

IN ANYWAY THAT YOU WOULD,
SAY, PROSCIUTTO.

YOU CAN WRAP IT AROUND
PIECES OF MELON,

AND TOSS IT WITH
SOME ASPARAGUS, MAYBE.

WHAT I USUALLY DO IS
CARVE THE WHOLE SIDE
LIKE THAT, AT THE TABLE,

SERVE UP EVERYBODY,
AND THEN GO BACK IN KITCHEN

AND JUST LOP OFF THE REST OF
THE BIG PIECES OF MEAT AND
JUST CARVE IT UP WHENEVER.

THAT WILL LEAVE YOU
WITH THE MAIN PIECE
OF THE RUMP AT THE END.

YOU CAN PICK THAT OFF
AND PUT IT INTO...

I DON'T KNOW,
SOUP BEANS IF YOU'D LIKE,

AND THEN OF COURSE,
THAT LEAVES THE BONE.

THE BONE, OF COURSE,
IS A WHOLE OTHER MATTER.

I LIKE TO SERVE CITY HAMS
AT PARTIES

BECAUSE PEOPLE LOVE THEM.

THEY USUALLY COME
IN HALF PORTIONS,

AND BECAUSE...
WELL, THEY'RE...

THEY'RE JUST
PRETTY DARN TASTY,

AS LONG AS YOU TAKE THE TIME
TO TINKER WITH THEM
A LITTLE BIT.

NOW UNLIKE COUNTRY HAMS,

CITY HAMS HAVE BEEN COOKED,

BUT NOT ALWAYS
TO THE SAME DEGREE, OKAY?

THEY'VE ALL BEEN COOKED
TO AT LEAST 137 DEGREES,

HOT ENOUGH TO KILL THE
OCCASIONAL MICROBIAL AGENT,

BUT NOT HOT ENOUGH
TO BE CALLED COOKED
FROM A CULINARY STANDPOINT.

NOW SUCH HAMS ARE USUALLY
LABELED "PARTIALLY COOKED,"

OR "NEEDS COOKING,"

BUT MOST CITY HAMS
HAVE BEEN FULLY COOKED

AND CAN CALL THEMSELVES
"READY TO EAT"
OR "FULLY COOKED,"

WHICH ISN'T TO SAY
THEY WOULDN'T PROFIT

FROM A LONG, SLOW, MANIPULATED
REHEATING PROCESS,

WHICH MEANS A LITTLE
GEOMETRICAL SURGERY.

WE'LL NEED OUR
CULINARY SCORING KNIFE.

OKAY, IT'S A UTILITY KNIFE,
A MAT KNIFE,

GOT IT AT
THE LOCAL HARDWARE STORE.

OPEN IT UP TO
THE SECOND CLICK, OKAY?

THEN YOU WILL NEED
A ROASTING PAN

WITH AN OLD KITCHEN TOWEL
IN THE BOTTOM...

NOTHING FANCY,
BUT CLEAN, ALL RIGHT?

DEPOSIT YOUR DRAINED HAM
THUSLY.

NOW WE'RE GOING TO EXECUTE
THE DIAMOND PATTERN

THAT IS ADORED
BY HAM LOVERS EVERYWHERE.

IT GOES LIKE THIS.

START AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE HAM

AND BARELY MOVING
ON THE DIAGONAL,

SLICE UPWARDS,

AND MOVE YOUR WAY
ALL THE WAY
AROUND THE HAM.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
GET IT EXACT,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
BE PERFECT ABOUT IT,

BUT DO MAKE SURE THAT
YOU'VE GOT THE BLADE
ALL THE WAY IN.

WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR HERE
IS UNIFORMITY OF DEPTH.

WHAT THAT'S GOING TO DO IS,

IT'S GOING TO LET
A LOT OF EXCESS FAT OUT
DURING THE COOKING PROCESS,

AND WE CAN DEFINITELY
STAND TO GET RID OF SOME.

IT'S ALSO GOING TO
OPEN UP A PORTAL
TO ALLOW FLAVORS IN,

WHICH WE WILL DEFINITELY
TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF A LITTLE LATER.

ONCE YOU'VE WORKED YOUR WAY
ALL THE WAY AROUND,

LIKE THAT,

YOU'RE GOING TO GO
THE OTHER DIRECTION --

I JUST PUT THE KNIFE
IN THE OTHER HAND --

AND DO THE SAME CUT,
BUT MOVE UPWARD
THE OTHER WAY,

AND WATCH OUT
FOR YOUR FINGER.

THERE, YOU CAN SEE
THAT DIAMOND SHAPE
ALREADY HAPPENING.

THAT'S GOING TO OPEN UP
EVEN MORE IN THE OVEN.

I REALLY THINK
THE UTILITY KNIFE IS
THE BEST TOOL FOR THIS JOB

BECAUSE IT'S
REALLY THE ONLY WAY
TO GET A UNIFORM CUT.

THERE WE GO.

NOW ONCE AGAIN,
WE WILL NEED A PIECE
OF MIR SPACE STATION.

IF YOU CANNOT GET A PIECE
OF SPACE STATION,

IT'S ANOTHER DOUBLE-WIDTH
OF WIDE ALUMINUM FOIL
CRIMPED TOGETHER.

AGAIN, WE'RE GOING TO
MAKE A TENT.

YOU DON'T WANT TO
PUSH IT DOWN
ON THE HAM.

YOU JUST WANT TO CRIMP IT
AROUND THE PAN LIKE THIS,

AND MAKE SURE
YOU GET THE HANDLES.

GO FOR AS TIGHT OF A SEAL
AS YOU CAN

BECAUSE BASICALLY WE WANT TO
KEEP HEAT AND MOISTURE IN.

THERE...

NOTHING REALLY
TOUCHING THE HAM,

SO THEY'RE WON'T BE
ANY STICKING... GOOD.

NOW MOST PACKAGES
THAT CITY HAMS COME IN

SUGGEST BAKING OR REHEATING
AT 350 DEGREES.

I THINK THAT'S
JUST A LITTLE TOO HOT.

I LIKE TO GO WITH
A SLOWER ROAST --

250 DEGREES
FOR THREE TO FOUR HOURS

OR UNTIL THE DEEP, DARK,
CENTER OF THAT MEAT
REACHES 130 DEGREES.

WHEN THAT HAPPENS,
WE'RE READY FOR THE CRUST.

THE BEST HAM CRUST
THAT I HAVE EVER TASTED

WAS INVENTED BY
MY GRANDMOTHER, MA MAE,

WHO ALSO MAKES A PASSABLE
BATCH OF BISCUITS.

ANYWAY, THIS THING'S
REALLY DELICIOUS,
AND FOR YEARS

I'VE BEEN ASKING HER,
"CAN I PLEASE
HAVE THAT RECIPE?"

AND SHE KEPT SAYING,
"OH, IT'S TOO HARD FOR YOU."

FINALLY LAST YEAR,
FOR CHRISTMAS NO LESS,

I GET AN ENVELOPE
CONTAINING THE RECIPE
FOR HER HAM CRUST.

I LOOK AT IT, AND I'M
KIND OF FEELING RIPPED OFF

BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY
FOUR INGREDIENTS...

BROWN SUGAR, MUSTARD,
BOURBON,

WHICH I ALWAYS KEEP AROUND
IN A SPRAY BOTTLE ANYWAY,

AND THE SECRET --
SHE SAID --

GINGER SNAP COOKIES,
PULVERIZED IN A FOOD PROCESSOR.

SO I SAY TO HER,
"FOUR INGREDIENTS,
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?"

SHE SAYS, "IT'S THE WAY
THEY'RE PUT TOGETHER."

I SAY, "WELL,
HOW ARE THEY PUT TOGETHER?"

SHE SAYS,
"NEXT CHRISTMAS, DEAR,"
SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

BECAUSE I GAVE UP
TWO WHOLE YEARS
OF PLAID BOXERS FOR IT.

OH, ALL THE OTHER HARDWARE...
A BASTING BRUSH.

WELL, LET'S SEE HOW OUR
CITY COUSIN'S DOING HERE.

YEAH, THAT'S COMING ALONG
VERY NICELY.

AS YOU CAN SEE
BY LOOKING DOWN
IN THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN,

THERE'S A GOOD BIT OF FAT
IN THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN,

AND THAT RAN OUT FROM
ALL OF THESE PERFORATIONS
THAT WE MADE.

NOW THIS IS ACTUALLY RIND.

THAT'S THE ACTUAL PORK SKIN.

IT TASTES PRETTY DARN GOOD
IF YOU TREAT IT RIGHT,

BUT THE CRUST DOESN'T
STICK TO IT REAL WELL,

SO JUST AROUND
AND QUICKLY PULL IT OFF.

IT'S ONLY GOING TO TAKE
A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT.

OKAY, NOW WE'VE GOT
A NICE PLATFORM
FOR A GLAZE...

MEAT ALL AROUND.

THERE'S A LITTLE BIT
OF FAT, BUT THAT'S GOOD.

WE DON'T WANT THINGS
TO BE TOO DRY.

THE FIRST LAYER
IS A WET LAYER...
THE MUSTARD.

JUST PAINT IT ON.

I GENERALLY WORK
FROM THE BOTTOM UP.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET IT
SUPER-THICK,

BUT DO YOU WANT TO APPLY
SOME PRESSURE,

SO THAT YOU REALLY GET IT
INTO ALL THOSE CRACKS.

LAYER TWO IS A DRY LAYER --

BROWN SUGAR,
THE DARKER THE BETTER.

THE BROWN SUGAR'S
GOT MOLASSES IN IT,

AND THAT'S GOING TO BRING
A LOT OF FLAVOR
TO THE PARTY.

NOW THIS IS KIND OF
A TWO-HAND OPERATION.

THINK SPRINKLE,
NOT PUSH, OKAY?

I'M JUST GOING TO
KIND OF SPRINKLE IT ON.

USE ONE HAND TO PAT
AS IT FALLS.

YOU'RE GOING TO GET
A LITTLE MUSTARD ON YOU,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

THAT'S OKAY.

NOW, ODDS ARE GOOD
THAT THIS IS
GOING TO BE WET ENOUGH

TO TAKE ON THE NEXT LAYER,
BUT JUST IN CASE,

WE'RE GOING TO GIVE IT
A LITTLE MORE FLAVOR...
BOURBON.

JUST GIVE IT A LIGHT SPRITZ.

THE FINAL LAYER...

THE SECRET,
THE GINGER SNAP COOKIES.

THIS IS THE THING THAT
SHE HELD OUT ON ME
FOR SO VERY LONG.

WE'RE BASICALLY GOING TO
REPEAT THE SAME ACTION

THAT WE DID
WITH THE BROWN SUGAR.

THIS IS JUST A SPRINKLING.

LET ME USE TWO HANDS HERE...

EVER SO LIGHTLY.

NOW THIS LAYER,
WE KIND OF WANT THICK, OKAY,

AS THICK AS YOU CAN
GET IT TO TAKE.

THERE... IT'S BEAUTIFUL,

BUT IT NEEDS TO GO BACK
INTO THE OVEN.

THE CRUST NEEDS
A LITTLE MORE HEAT TO SET,

SO RAISE YOUR TEMPERATURE
TO 350 DEGREES.

THIS IS ONLY GOING TO
TAKE ABOUT AN HOUR.

WE JUST WANT TO
GET THE MEAT UP
ABOUT ANOTHER 10 DEGREES

AND SET THAT CRUST...

WHICH YOU CAN CUT
AS THIN OR AS THICK
AS YOU LIKE.

I LIKE TO CUT IT
ON THE BIAS.

I GET A LITTLE BIT MORE
CRUST THAT WAY.

ONCE YOU AND YOURS HAVE
FINISHED PICKING THIS OFF,

I SURE HOPE YOU WON'T
THROW AWAY THE BONE.

UNLESS OF COURSE,
IT'S TO THROW IT IN

THAT POT OF SOUP BEANS
YOU GOT GOING OVER THERE.

AS FAR AS KEEPING HOLD
OF THIS THING...

WELL, TRUTH IS,
A SET OF VICE GRIPS
DOES A PRETTY FINE JOB.

WELL, WE HOPE THAT
WE HAVE WHET YOUR APPETITE

FOR THE ABRACADABRA
THAT IS THE AMERICAN HAM.

WHETHER YOU LEAN TOWARD
THE CITY OR THE COUNTRY,

YOU SHOULD STICK TO
SOME PRETTY CLEAR RULES.

ONLY BUY HAMS THAT
ARE CLEARLY LABELED
AS JUST PLAIN "HAM"

OR "HAM IN NATURAL JUICES,"
OKAY?

STAY AWAY FROM ANYTHING
THAT'S SHAPED MORE LIKE
AN iMAC COMPUTER

THAN THE HIND LEG
OF AN ANIMAL.

SAME THING GOES
FOR BONELESS CUTS,
IT'S JUST NOT NATURAL.

IF YOU BUY A COUNTRY HAM,

MAKE SURE YOU BUY IT
FAR ENOUGH AHEAD TO GIVE IT

A COUPLE OF DAYS TIME
TO SOAK.

ALWAYS REMEMBER
TO SLASH A CITY HAM

TO LET SOME OF THAT FAT OUT.

EITHER WAY, HAMS...
MAGICAL STUFF,

AS WELL AS GOOD EATS.