Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 4, Episode 4 - Crustacean Nation II: Claws - full transcript

THEY'RE USUALLY ABOUT
THAT BIG AROUND,

AND IT LOOKS KINDA LIKE
A CLOD OF DIRT,

BUT IT'S NOT, IT'S
ACTUALLY RELATED TO
A MUSHROOM.

(Alton)
WHEN YOU'RE IN A MOOD
TO SPOIL YOURSELF
WITH A LITTLE LUXURY,

IT'S A COMFORT TO KNOW
THAT THE CULINARY WORLD

IS ALWAYS THERE
WITH ITS DELICACIES.

THE PROBLEM IS,
THOSE DELICACIES CAN BE
A LITTLE ELUSIVE SOMETIMES.

THEY FEED THEM BEER
EVERY DAY, AND THEY
GET MASSAGES EVERY DAY

UNTIL THE MEAT IS JUST
PERFECTLY MARBLED.

(Alton)
SOMETIMES THEY'RE NOT
ACTUALLY ELUSIVE,

THEY'RE FLAT OUT
IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND.



YEAH, I GUESS IT IS
A PRETTY NICE LIFE
UNTIL....

BUT...
NEVER MIND.

(Alton)
BUT SOMETIMES YOU GET LUCKY
AND YOU FIND THAT PERFECT
BITE OR SIP,

AND YOU THINK, "SCORE!"

AND THEN YOU LOOK AND SEE
THAT THE PRICE IS A LITTLE
OUT OF YOUR RANGE...

AND THEN OF COURSE,
SOMETIMES IT'S JUST WAY,
WAY OUT OF YOUR RANGE.

BUT DON'T DESPAIR,
THERE IS HOPE.

HMM, COME TO THINK OF IT,

THERE IS ONE FOOD WHICH
DESPITE IT LUXURIOUS REP,

IS CONVENIENTLY AVAILABLE,
AND SURPRISINGLY AFFORDABLE,
TOO.

THE TRICK IS TO KNOW HOW TO
BUY IT, HOW TO STORE IT,

HOW TO COOK IT, AND
ESPECIALLY HOW TO EAT IT.

SOUND LIKE FOODSTYLES
OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS?

NAH.



LOBSTER HERE IS JUST
PLAIN OL' GOOD EATS.

ASK TEN PEOPLE TO MAKE
A LIST OF THEIR TOP FIVE
FAVORITE FOODS,

AND I'M WILLING TO BET
THAT NINE OUT OF TEN
OF THOSE LISTS

WILL INCLUDE
THE WORD LOBSTER.

ASK THE SAME TEN PEOPLE TO
MAKE A LIST OF THE TOP FIVE
FOODS THEY'RE AFRAID TO COOK,

AND I'M BETTING
EIGHT OUT OF TEN OF THEM
WILL SAY LOBSTER.

I SUSPECT THAT THIS IS
THE RESULT OF AN EVIL SCHEME

HATCHED BY RESTAURATEURS
TO CONVINCE US REGULAR FOLKS

THAT WE CANNOT PREPARE
OUR OWN LOBSTER.

NOW WHEN I SAY
"OUR OWN LOBSTER,"
I MEAN OUR OWN LOBSTER.

AMERICA, MEET
HOMARUS AMERICANUS,

OR AMERICAN LOBSTER,
A.K.A. THE MAINE LOBSTER,

AND, I MUST SAY, THE BIGGEST
ONE THAT I'VE EVER
PERSONALLY ENCOUNTERED.

THERE ARE ABOUT 30 DIFFERENT
VARIETIES OF LOBSTER

SCUTTLING AROUND
THE SEA FLOOR OUT THERE,

BUT THIS IS THE LOBSTER
THAT LOBSTER-LOVERS THINK OF
WHEN THEY THINK OF LOBSTER.

NOW IT'S COMPLETELY
UNDERSTANDABLE THAT,
SINCE WE JUST MET,

WE WOULD HAVE A FEW
MISCONCEPTIONS TO CLEAR UP.

THAT'S WHY I'M HERE
AT INLAND SEAFOOD,

BECAUSE ABOUT 35,000 POUNDS
OF LOBSTER GO THROUGH
THIS ROOM EVERY DAY,

ALL UNDER THE WATCHFUL EYE
OF...

JOEL KNOX.

HI, JOEL,
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, ALTON,
HOW ARE YOU?

LOBSTERS TASTE THE SAME
YEAR-ROUND?
NOT REALLY.

NOT REALLY, LOBSTERS
ARE LIKE ALL CRUSTACEANS,

LIKE A SHRIMP,
LIKE A CRAB,

THE ONLY WAY A LOBSTER
GROWS IS IT SHEDS
ITS EXOSKELETON.

IT MOLTS?
IT MOLTS,
IT SHEDS ITS SHELL,

AND THEN AS IT SHEDS
ITS SHELL, IT GROWS.

THIS LOBSTER, AFTER IT
SHEDS, IT WILL
PROBABLY GAIN...

WHEN IT'S FULLY MATURE,
AROUND 1/4 TO 1/3 POUND.

DO WE EVER EAT THEM
THAT WAY?
OH, YES.

IN MAINE,
WHEN YOU GO UP THERE,
A NEW-SHELL LOBSTER,

WHICH IS ANOTHER WAY
OF SAYING A SOFT-SHELL LOBSTER,

IS USUALLY WHAT YOU SEE.

DOES THE MEAT ACTUALLY
TASTE DIFFERENT?

I THINK THE MEAT
ON A HARD-SHELL IS
A LITTLE BIT FIRMER,

AND I THINK THE MEAT
ON A SOFT-SHELL IS LESS FIRM,

BUT I THINK
IT'S SWEETER.

WHICH LEADS ME
TO MY NEXT QUESTION.

WHEN JOEL KNOX TAKES
HOME LOBSTERS, WHAT DOES
HE DO WITH THEM?

I HAVE MORE RECIPES
FOR LOBSTERS THAN
BUBBA GUMP HAD FOR SHRIMP.

ONCE YOU'VE SCOPED
A PROMISING PROSPECT,

PICK IT UP BY GRABBING
HOLD OF EITHER SIDE
OF THE THORAX

JUST ABOVE THE WALKING LEGS.

BELIEVE ME, NONE OF ITS
PARTS CAN REACH ANY OF YOUR
PARTS FROM THIS ANGLE.

NOW IF YOUR MONGER GIVES YOU
GRIEF ABOUT YOU WANTING TO
TAKE A TEST DRIVE LIKE THIS,

TELL HIM OR HER THAT
YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO WEAR
DISPOSABLE GLOVES.

IF THEY STILL BALK
AT THE IDEA...

OKAY, MOVE YOUR LOBSTER AROUND,
SEE HOW HE MOVES BACK.

THE MORE HE MOVES,
THE BETTER.

LIVELY IS GOOD,
LETHARGIC...

NOW GIVE THE THORAX
A GENTLE SQUEEZE.

DOES THE SHELL FEEL RIGID
OR IS THERE A GOOD BIT
OF GIVE?

GIVE MEANS A SOFT-SHELL
LOBSTER THAT'S
RECENTLY MOLTED.

THAT MEANS THE MEAT IS
GONNA BE ON THE PUNY SIDE

AND A GOOD BIT OF THE
WEIGHT THAT YOU'RE GONNA
PAY TOP DOLLAR FOR

IS PROBABLY WATER.

NOW THIS... GUY LOOKS GOOD.

AND AT 1 3/4 POUNDS,
A VERY RESPECTABLE
MEAL FOR ONE.

NOW WHAT TRANSPORTATION
ARE YOU PREPARED TO SUPPLY?

WELL, I HAVE A COOLER
WITH A COLD PACK
IN THE BOTTOM

AND A FEW SECTIONS OF
TODAY'S NEWSPAPER
WET BUT NOT DRIPPING.

PERFECT, IS THAT
GONNA BE IT FOR YOU?

YOU KNOW, I THINK I'LL
GO FOR A NUMBER TWO.
OKAY.

I'D SAY JUST UNDER
1 1/2 POUNDS.

YEAH, MAY I?
CERTAINLY.

OH, LIVELY.
AND A GIRL TO BOOT.

A MATCHED SET,
ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?

LOBSTER EATING COMES WITH
SOME PHILOSOPHICAL BAGGAGE.

ASIDE FROM FACELESS
SHELLFISH LIKE MUSSELS
OR MAYBE AN OCCASIONAL CRAB,

LOBSTERS ARE THE ONLY
CRITTERS THAT MOST OF US
WILL EVER DISPATCH

IN THE COMFORT
OF OUR KITCHENS.

IF THIS TROUBLES YOU,
PLEASE CONSIDER
THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.

DOWN AT THE BOTTOM,
OF COURSE, WE HAVE GERMS.

HIGHER UP, FLATWORMS,

AND THEN WAY UP IN PHYLUM
CHORDATA, SUBPHYLUM MAMMALIA,

JUST ABOVE THE WOMBATS
AND THE LEMURS... US, MAN.

NOW WAY OVER HERE
IN THE OTHER BRANCH,

WE FIND PHYLUM ARTHROPODA,
SUBPHYLUM CRUSTACEA,
AND THE LOBSTER.

WHAT'S INTERESTING
IS THAT JUST NEXT DOOR

IN SUBPHYLUM UNIRAMIA,
WE'VE GOT...

ACTUALLY, A LOBSTER BRAIN'S
MUCH MORE LIKE A GRASSHOPPER.

BUT THEN WE REALLY DO HAVE
TO USE THE TERM BRAIN
VERY, VERY LOOSELY.

THE POINT IS,
A LOBSTER IS A BUG,

AND IF YOU CAN STOMP A ROACH
OR SMUSH A SPIDER JUST FOR
CROSSING YOUR PATH,

YOU SHOULDN'T GET TOO
TEARY-EYED ABOUT SENDING
A LOBSTER

TO SLEEP WITH THE FISHES,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE GOING
TO EAT IT.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT
YOU SHOULDN'T OPT FOR
A HUMANE METHOD,

AND MORBID OR NOT, IT DOES
SEEM TO BE A SUBJECT

THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE
HAVE STRONG OPINIONS ON.

ACTUALLY, THERE'S ONLY
TWO METHODS

RECOGNIZED BY THE
GENEVA CONVENTION.

THE FIRST ONE
IS INSTANTANEOUS,

AND IF I WERE A LOBSTER AND
SOMEBODY GAVE ME A CHOICE,

THIS IS THE METHOD
I WOULD CHOOSE.

TAKE A CHEF'S KNIFE,
A BIG, HEAVY ONE,

AND PLACE THE POINT RIGHT IN
THIS CRACK DOWN THE HEAD.

RIGHT BEHIND THE EYES
BY ABOUT AN INCH.

OKAY, IF YOU THINK
YOU'RE UP TO IT,

PUT THE KNIFE RIGHT IN
THAT CRACK AND PUSH
STRAIGHT DOWN TO THE BOARD

AND CHOP FORWARD,
THUS BIFURCATING THE HEAD.

THE BUG WILL BE DEAD
INSTANTANEOUSLY, NO FUSS.

NOW IF YOU DON'T FEEL
YOU'RE UP TO IT,

WELL, LET'S CHILL.

15 TO 20 MINUTES IN HERE
AND THEY WON'T FEEL A THING
WHEN THE TIME COMES.

THAT'S WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY.

I'M NOT A LOBSTER,
SO I CAN'T SAY,

BUT I DO KNOW THAT IT WILL
SLOW DOWN THEIR METABOLISM
SIGNIFICANTLY,

AND NUMB THEM TO THE POINT
THEY WON'T EVEN MOVE
WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OUT.

BY THE WAY,
YOU DON'T NEED A LID HERE,

DESPITE THAT SCENE
IN "ANNIE HALL,"

LOBSTERS ARE NOT
TERRESTRIALLY INCLINED.

IN AMERICA, TRADITION
DEMANDS THAT LOBSTERS
BE BOILED.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT
DOING IT RIGHT REQUIRES
A LOT OF WATER,

NEARLY A GALLON
PER LOBSTER,

AND MOST HOME RANGES NEED
AT LEAST AN HOUR,
IF NOT AN HOUR AND HALF,

TO BRING THAT MUCH LIQUID
TO A BOIL.

THEN YOU'VE GOT TO PUT
THE BUGS IN,

THEN YOU'VE GOT TO WATCH
FOR THE WATER TO COME BACK
TO A BOIL,

AND THEN YOU'VE GOT
TO TIME IT,

AND EVEN THOUGH YOU DO
TIME IT, THEY STILL END UP
WATERLOGGED.

AND THEN, FOR DESSERT,

YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE BIG OL'
POT OF SMELLY HOT WATER
TO GET RID OF.

IT'S A HASSLE,
WHICH IS WHY I DON'T DO IT.

I STEAM.

JUST FILL YOUR WIDEST POT
WITH AN INCH OF WATER
AND PUT IT OVER HIGH HEAT.

OH, YOU LIKE MY ROCKS?

I GOT THEM FROM A STEAM
NEARBY.

I DON'T ADVOCATE DOING THIS
WITH YOUR FINE NONSTICK
COOKWARE,

BUT THERE ARE A LOT
OF ADVANTAGES.

THEY FIT IN ANY POT,
THEY HEAT VERY EVENLY,

AND THEY HELP STEAM
TO DISTRIBUTE EVENLY,

AND, OH, GET THIS, BECAUSE
THEY PROVIDE FRICTION,

THEY'LL ACTUALLY HELP THE
LOBSTER TAILS TO NOT CURL
AS MUCH WHEN THEY COOK.

YOU CAN GET THE SAME EFFECT
BY TYING A CHOPSTICK

LENGTHWISE TO THE UNDERSIDE
OF THE TAIL.

HA, HA, TRY THAT ONCE,
AND YOU'LL GET SOME ROCKS.

I ALSO LIKE THE FACT THAT
YOU CAN ADD A LITTLE FLAVOR
WITH FRESH HERBS.

I'VE GOT SOME PARSLEY
AND SOME THYME AND
SOME ROSEMARY HERE.

IT SOUNDS
HAUNTINGLY FAMILIAR.

YOU JUST PUT THIS
RIGHT DOWN ON THE ROCKS,

AND SINCE THEY'RE ACTUALLY
KIND OF DRY ON TOP,

YOU GET A LITTLE BETTER
FLAVOR OUT OF THEM,

BUT DON'T PUT THEM IN
UNTIL THE LOBSTER'S READY.

IN THE MEANTIME,
WHILE THIS BUILDS UP
A HEAD OF STEAM,

WE'LL REVIEW SOME
LOBSTER HARDWARE.

IN ADDITION TO THE POT
AND THE ROCKS,

YOU ARE GOING TO NEED
SOME KITCHEN SHEARS,
OR BETTER YET, TIN SNIPS.

YOU'RE GONNA NEED AN OVEN
MITT OR A WELDING GLOVE.

YOU'LL ALSO NEED A PAN,
A HALF SHEET PAN WILL
DO JUST FINE,

OR SO WOULD A COOKIE SHEET.

HEAVY ALUMINUM FOIL,
ONE ROLLING PIN.

A FEW SPRIGS OF ROSEMARY,
A LITTLE BIT OF THE THYME,

RIGHT ON TOP OF THE ROCKS,

AND A LITTLE BIT OF PARSLEY.

TIME FOR A WAKE-UP CALL.

LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE OUT.

NOW DON'T GO SHAKING
AROUND THE PAN,
YOU MIGHT WAKE THEM UP.

DO THIS FAST.

BUG NUMBER ONE, IN,

BUG NUMBER TWO, IN...

COUNT TO TEN.

YOUR BUGS ARE ALREADY DEAD.

WITHIN A COUPLE OF MINUTES,
ALL SIGNS OF LIFE, RANDOM
OR OTHERWISE, ARE GONE.

AND THE SHELLS HAVE TURNED
BRIGHT RED.

NOW THE RESPONSIBLE PIGMENT
CALLED ASTAXANTHIN
WAS ALWAYS THERE,

BUT IT WAS CONNECTED
TO A SERIES OF PROTEINS

WHICH PRODUCED THE ORIGINAL
DARK, MOTTLED LOOK.

THE HEAT COOKED THE
PROTEINS, WHICH IN TURN,
LET GO OF THE ASTAXANTHIN,

SO NOW IT'S RED.

NOW TO CONTINUE COOKING,
COVER,

DROP THE HEAT TO MEDIUM,
AND SET YOUR TIMER FOR...

THIS GUY IS STILL
MOSTLY RAW,

AND WE'RE GONNA KEEP HIM
THAT WAY.

BY SHOCKING THE LOBSTER
IN ICE WATER,

WE CAN HALT THE COOKING
PROCESS IMMEDIATELY.

NOW THIS IS AN EXAMPLE
OF PAR-COOKING

OR PARTIALLY COOKING
SOMETHING THAT YOU PLAN
TO FINISH OFF LATER.

IT'S A TIME AND LABOR
SAVING MEASURE.

AND IN THIS CASE, IT GIVES
US A NICELY DEAD LOBSTER.

THE PROBLEM WITH LOBSTER IS
THAT AS SOON AS IT EXPIRES,

ITS DIGESTIVE SYSTEM
SEEKS REVENGE BY ALLOWING
GASTRIC JUICES

TO SEEP INTO THE MEAT,
THUS TURNING IT INTO MUSH.

BUT THIS CAN BE AVOIDED
BY REMOVING A FEW PARTS.

IN 10 TO 15 MINUTES, YOUR
BUG WILL BE READY TO GO.

NOW WE'VE GOT TO GET
AT THOSE PARTS,
THOSE GASTRIC PARTS,

WHICH ARE INSIDE HERE,
AND WE ALSO WANT TO
GET TO THE TAIL MEAT,

SO HERE'S HOW I DO IT.

TAKE THE TIP OF YOUR
CHEF'S KNIFE AND PLACE IT

RIGHT AT THE DIVIDING LINE
DOWN THE THORAX.

PUT YOUR OTHER HAND
ON THE OTHER SIDE,

HOLDING THE SHELL TOGETHER
AND SPLIT.

ONE CUT, AND THEN
JUST SLOWLY CRACK
ALL THE WAY DOWN.

NOW GRAB BOTH SIDES
OF HIS HEAD

AND ROLL HIM OVER
ONTO HIS BACK.

BASICALLY, YOU WANT
TO CARRY ON THIS CUT

ALL THE WAY DOWN THE TAIL.

THE REASON IT'S EASIER TO DO
THIS WAY IS BECAUSE

NOW THE HARDER SHELL
IS FACING THE BOARD.

SO JUST SLOWLY WORK YOUR WAY
THROUGH THE TAIL MEAT.

THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT
OF CRACKING SOUNDS,

THAT'S OKAY.

NOW WHEN YOU'RE SURE
YOU'RE ALL THE WAY THROUGH,

YOU CAN JUST KIND OF
CRACK HIM OPEN.

I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS
GOING TO BE PRETTY INSIDE.

THERE ARE SOME PARTS
THAT WE NEED TO REMOVE,

MOSTLY THINGS LIKE LIVER
AND STOMACH AND THINGS
LIKE THAT.

JUST SWEEP YOUR HAND IN AND
GRAB HOLD AND PULL IT OUT.

TRUTH IS, A LOT OF LOBSTER
LOVERS ARE AT HOME CRINGING
RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE THESE
ARE PRIZED PARTS,

ESPECIALLY THE LIVER
OR TOMALLEY,

BUT SINCE LOBSTERS ARE OFTEN
CRAWLING ABOUT IN POLLUTED
WATERS,

I DON'T LIKE TO DO THAT
BECAUSE THE POLLUTION
AND OTHER CONTAMINANTS

CAN LODGE THEMSELVES
IN THAT LIVER.

WE'VE GOT THE LOBSTER MEAT
WHICH IS JUST STARTING
TO TURN TRANSLUCENT,

BUT CULINARY SPEAKING,
IT'S STILL RAW.

AND WE'VE GOT THIS NICE
OPEN CAVITY AREA.

IT WOULD BE REALLY GREAT TO
PUT SOME STUFFING IN THERE.

THE PROBLEM IS, STUFFING
WOULD REQUIRE EXTRA MEAT.

OF COURSE, IF YOU KNOW WHERE
TO GO, THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM.

SEE?

BEGINNING LOBSTER LOVERS
OFTEN FAWN OVER THE TAIL
AND CLAW MEAT,

BUT TRUE LOBSTER LOVERS
KNOW THAT LOCKED INSIDE HERE
IS SOME REALLY GOOD EATS.

THE PROBLEM IS
GETTING AT IT.

I'VE LITERALLY SEEN GUYS
KINDA BLOW OUT A LUNG

TRYING TO SUCK THAT STUFF
OUT OF THERE.

THE WAY TO DO IT IS
TO USE SIMPLE TOOLS.

FIRST YOU MAY NEED
TO CUT OFF THE JOINT
WITH YOUR TIN SNIPS.

YOU COULD DO THIS
WITH SHEARS, TOO.

SOMETIMES THEY COME OFF,
SOMETIMES THEY DON'T.

THAT GIVES YOU CLEAR ACCESS
TO THE INSIDES.

THEN ONE AT A TIME,

TAKE YOUR ROLLING PIN TO IT

AND JUST ROLL THE MEAT OUT.

LOOK AT THAT,
PURE LOBSTER MEAT.

THAT'S GONNA MAKE
GREAT STUFFING.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
THERE'S PROBABLY CLOSE
TO AN OUNCE OF MEAT

LOCKED AWAY INSIDE
THESE LITTLE GUYS.

FOR EACH LOBSTER THAT
YOU PLAN TO STUFF,

SWEAT TWO TABLESPOONS
OF FINELY CHOPPED ONION

AND ONE TABLESPOON
OF UNSALTED BUTTER

OVER LOW HEAT FOR ABOUT
THREE MINUTES OR UNTIL THE
ONIONS BECOME TRANSLUCENT.

THEN ADD ABOUT 1/4 TEASPOON
OF FRESHLY MINCED LEMON ZEST

AND ABOUT A TABLESPOON

OF CHOPPED SCALLIONS.

YOU COULD USE CHIVES
FOR THIS,

BUT I THINK I LIKE THE SNAP
OF THIS A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

JUST TOSS THAT AROUND
FOR JUST A FEW SECONDS,

JUST TO WORK EVERYTHING
TOGETHER.

THEN ADD THE LOBSTER
LEG MEAT.

WHEN YOU PUT THIS IN, DON'T
JUST DUMP IT IN THE PAN.

KIND OF CRUSH IT OUT
IN YOUR FINGERS AS YOU GO.

THAT WILL HELP YOU
TO BREAK UP THE MEAT

AND EVENLY DISTRIBUTE IT
THROUGH THE STUFFING,

WHICH WILL GUARANTEE YOU
BETTER FLAVOR.

THERE.

MAKING SURE THE HEAT
IS ON LOW,

TOSS FOR ABOUT A MINUTE,
JUST LONG ENOUGH TO HEAT
THROUGH THE LEG MEAT.

NOW GRIND ON A BIT
OF BLACK PEPPER

AND NEXT UP,
FIVE CRACKERS.

I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU
WHAT KIND THESE ARE.

I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW.

JUST CRUSH THEM
RIGHT INTO THE PAN.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT
GETTING THEM EVEN,

YOU WANT BIG CHUNKS,
AND YOU WANT LITTLE CHUNKS.

NOW TURN OFF THE HEAT

AND TOSS UNTIL THE CRACKERS
HAVE SOAKED UP ALL THE JUICE
IN THE PAN.

IF FOR SOME REASON IT LOOKS
LIKE THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE
ABLE TO SOAK IT ALL UP,

ADD MORE CRACKERS.

THE WHOLE POINT HERE IS THAT
WE HAVE ENOUGH ABSORPTIVE
POWER LEFT OVER

TO SOAK UP WHATEVER JUICE
COMES OUT OF THAT LOBSTER.

THIS LOOKS REALLY DRY
AND CRUMBLY.

TIME TO STUFF.

NOW BEFORE WE ACTUALLY
GET TO STUFFING,

WE NEED TO TAKE JUST A
MOMENT AND TALK ABOUT CLAWS.

NOW HAD THESE BEEN
SOFT-SHELL LOBSTERS,

ODDS ARE VERY GOOD THAT
THESE CLAWS WOULD ONLY BE
HALF FULL OF MEAT.

IN WHICH CASE
THEY WOULD PROBABLY COOK
IN THE SAME TIME

THAT IT WOULD TAKE
THE TAILS TO COOK,

BUT THESE ARE HARD-SHELL
CLAWS, SO THEY ARE PROBABLY
ALMOST FULL,

WHICH IS A GOOD THING
FOR US WHEN WE EAT.

BUT IT DOES MEAN THAT THEY
WILL TAKE LONGER TO COOK.

THE ANSWER?

GIVE THEM A HEAD START.

JUST CUT THEM OFF
RIGHT AT THE JOINT

OF THE BODY,
LIKE THAT.

REMOVE THE BAND BECAUSE
PLASTIC IS NOT GOOD EATS,

AND PUT IT RIGHT ON THE PAN.

REPEAT ON YOUR OTHER BUG.

NOTICE THAT THIS WAS
A LEFT-HANDED LOBSTER.

AND RIGHT INTO
A 450-DEGREE OVEN

WITH NOT OTHER CEREMONY
NECESSARY.

WE'RE GONNA GIVE THAT
FOUR MINUTES HEAD START.

FOUR WILL BE ENOUGH.

NOW WE CAN ACTUALLY TURN
TO THE STUFFING PORTION.

WE'RE GONNA NEED A PLATFORM
TO HOLD THESE GUYS STEADY,

AND I'M A BIG FAN OF
HEAVY-DUTY ALUMINUM FOIL.

LAY THAT OUT AND JUST
PUT DOWN YOUR BUGS,

KIND OF OPPOSING
EACH OTHER,

WE'LL JUST LINE THEM UP
LIKE THAT

AND KIND OF CRINKLE THE FOIL
SO THAT THEY LAY EVEN
WITH EACH OTHER.

WE'RE LOOKING FOR A NICE
LEVEL RESERVOIR, AS IT WERE,

OR ELSE THE STUFFING
IS GOING TO FALL OUT.

WE DON'T WANT THEM
TO ROLL AT ALL.

NOW JUST TAKE A SPOON
AND ADD THE STUFFING.

WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO
IS PACK THE STUFFING

RIGHT INTO THE CAVITY

BECAUSE IF YOU DO THAT,
THERE'S NO WAY IT'S GOING
TO ABSORB ANYTHING.

IT'LL JUST BECOME A BIG
SOLID KNOT OF CRACKERS
AND MEAT AND SEASONING,

WHICH WON'T BE GOOD.

JUST PILE IT IN,
BUT DO NOT PUSH DOWN.

THE LAST THING WE NEED IS A
LITTLE BIT OF LUBRICATION,

A LITTLE FAT FOR THE SURFACE
OF THE TAIL MEAT.

AND FOR THAT, I JUST LIKE
REGULAR OLIVE OIL...

EXTRA-VIRGIN, ACTUALLY,
WILL DO THE TRICK.

JUST KIND OF POUR IT
ON YOUR BRUSH

AND LUBE IT UP.

YOU COULD ALSO DO THIS
WITH BUTTER,

BUT BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO
BE SERVING BUTTER WITH THIS
LATER,

I LIKE THE ADDITIONAL
FLAVOR INVOLVED HERE.

NO SALT, NO PEPPER
AT THIS POINT.

PEPPER WOULD PROBABLY BURN
IN THE OVEN.

(timer beeping)

NOW THE CLAWS HAVE HAD
A NICE LITTLE HEAD START,

SO JUST SLIDE YOUR HOMEMADE
PAN RIGHT NEXT TO IT.

AND SET YOUR TIMER FOR...

WELL, THAT WOULD DEPEND ON
YOUR LOBSTER, WOULDN'T IT?

THERE, EVERYTHING IS DONE
AT THE SAME TIME.

NOW SINCE THE BODY BASICALLY
MAKES ITS OWN BOWL,

YOU CAN JUST MOVE THIS
STRAIGHT OUT TO A PLATE.

I LIKE TO LINE MINE
WITH SOME GREENS JUST
TO PROVIDE SOME FRICTION

SO THAT I DON'T LET THAT
SLIDE OFF ON THE WAY
TO THE DINNER TABLE.

NOW WE HAVE THIS
TO DEAL WITH.

THIS IS NOT AS EASY.

IF YOU DELIVER THIS
TO THE TABLE

AND EVERYBODY WILL
JUST STARE AT YOU
FOR A FEW HOURS.

AT FRENCH RESTAURANTS,
WHAT THEY DO IS,

THEY BASICALLY BREAK THIS
OFF FROM THE REST OF THE ARM

AND SAVE THAT --
GREAT MEAT IN THERE.

AND THEY TAKE THIS AND LAY
IT DOWN ON THE BOARD.

YOU TAKE THE BACK
OF YOUR CHEF'S KNIFE

AND YOU GO RIGHT
IN BETWEEN THE JOINT
AND THAT FIRST SPINE,

AND IF YOU'VE GOT
A GOOD BLADE AND
A LITTLE CONFIDENCE,

YOU CAN...

I JUST DON'T HAVE THAT KIND
OF CONFIDENCE,

WHICH IS WHY I HAVE A MOTTO --
IN CHANNEL LOCKS WE TRUST.

THIS IS HOW I DO IT.

JUST PUT THE FAT SIDE
OF THE KNUCKLE RIGHT THERE

IN BETWEEN THAT JOINT

AND SQUEEZE UNTIL YOU HEAR
A SICKENING CRUNCH.

(sickening crunch)

THAT'S A SICKENING CRUNCH.

NOW JUST GRAB --
OH, IT'S STILL HOT --

GRAB THE PINCHER AND
MOVE IT BACK AND FORTH.

ONCE FOR ANOTHER CRUNCH
AND THEN ANOTHER CRUNCH.

AND THEN YOU SHOULD BE ABLE
TO SLIDE OUT THE MEAT.

GET IT WIGGLED UP,

THERE YOU GO.

AND THAT OTHER PIECE
WILL SLIDE OUT LIKE THAT.

NOW HERE'S THE FUN PART,

TAKE YOUR LITTLE FINGER
RIGHT INTO THAT OPEN JOINT,

AND YOU OUGHT TO BE ABLE
TO PUSH THE MEAT

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE SOCKET.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF WORK,

BUT THAT IS WORTH THE WORK.

JUST MOVE THAT AND SERVE IT
RIGHT ON TOP OF THE REST
OF THE LOBSTER LIKE THAT.

NOW SINCE YOU HAVE DONE
ALL THE WORK,

THE DINER DOESN'T HAVE TO DO
ANYTHING BUT PICK UP A FORK
AND SQUEEZE ON SOME LEMON.

IF YOU WANT TO GIVE THEM
THE WORK,

THAT MEANS
THE STEAMED LOBSTER.

ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE.

MMM.

WE HOPE THAT WE'VE CONVINCED
YOU THAT LOBSTER

IS WELL WITHIN YOUR
WAYS AND MEANS.

THINK OF IT AS
AN INVESTMENT IN PLEASURE

THAT YOU ARE NOW
FULLY READY TO MAXIMIZE.

JUST REMEMBER THE RULES.

BE VERY PARTICULAR
WHEN YOU PURCHASE.

TRANSPORT AND
STORE PROPERLY,

KILL HUMANELY,

AND PREPARE VERY,
VERY BASICALLY.

OH, AND DO NOT
WASTE A MORSEL.

WELL, EVEN THESE SHELLS
ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY

TO BECOMING A LOBSTER
BUTTER OR CRUSTACEAN BROTH.

OF COURSE, THAT WILL HAVE
TO BE ANOTHER EPISODE
OF "GOOD EATS."

Captioned by
Scripps Networks, Inc.